Tag: Shame

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

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I like the movie Free Willy but my hand to God that title was the bane of my existence. Back then, didn’t that movie rule the box office, and as to ruling. What about my own life… Three Willy and More

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Gospel 105 ~Three Willy And More~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and ruler of the three kingdoms… more or less, remains to be seen. Well, aren’t I feeling all high and mighty considering this is Day Four of (you know what)? For the record, I liked “Free Willy,” but that title, SIGH.

Anyway, for what brings us together today, let’s start with Pinterest. I still mourn the loss of my second account. Hell, I created a whole new email account and am in the process of rebuilding. While it will never come to pass and almost doesn’t count, I have to “DO.” As to why I’m here so late, 4:05 PM. Have you ever discovered some “media” and then you’ve lost it? All-day, besides sleeping, of course, I’ve been searching for a particular girl. Now that’s about as far as I can get into it since today isn’t Thursday. I did fail.

Interestingly enough, I haven’t been adding many other boards. I’m sticking to my guns, no doubt, when it comes to locking down every gallery. For once, I am hiding. While at work, I’m again either trying or doing. So opposite.

I told one of the girls, Hell maybe even you, about my “promotion” working in the stockroom. If anything, I’m beginning to conclude that I will only be the fall guy in some shape. At least it keeps my mind off all the STUPIDITY that I usually do at work. Entertaining I am… but I’ve said before that the comedian is dead. I take a good look around, and there are far better jesters, jokers. Now you know how I hate the jeering above everything else. Is that what’s taking me so long to write those reviews, Quibi hmm. Somehow I finished that review that’s been on my Six Impossible Things list forever. Talk about being guilty, and you know I want to take responsibility. It’s that people have a tendency to ask me for everything. What is Rule 153? No Doesn’t Make You Cowardly.

Now to the only kingdom that should matter, and that’s my writing. Through writing, I will build a new world in my image. A place where My Firstborn will have all that he desires because he is killing me with his latest demands. Hell, I like to spoil him, Echo.

I am sorry though I didn’t write and everything’s falling. GREED, Three Willy And More.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

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Be yourself… question, what is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? If I could start again, a million miles away as the song goes. I’m no saint but I was raised in the church; I could fake it, I know plenty who do. Well HALO There Will.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Gospel 098 ~Well HALO There Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the truth is, as the song goes, I feel STUPID. Yes, Inspector Echo it’s still one of the ugliest words in the English language. The #1 word of my most hated words. Now don’t expect me to get all positive as I was at the beginning of the year, maybe. Oh, and speaking of negativity, I’m pretty damn sure I don’t have the PLAGUE better known as Coronavirus (COVID-19). My nose is better; while not perfect, I’m still breathing. I guess I can clear my head. Is that a HALO?

Not sure if you’ve seen, but over the past few days, I’ve been trying to let my better qualities show. In the words of Kratos, “Don’t be sorry. Be Better.” Hell, I’ve only played the first God of War and haven’t picked up a controller in ages. Now my smartphone… Anyway, I have been reading every day. Nothing I can talk about, mind you. I should probably get into reading the Pinterest rules. Am I going back to that? As THEY say, Echo, third time is the charm. I noticed yet again I’m listening to an old white guy, SIGH. Speaking of old white guys, I can name two. First, I have my boss at the Day Job. Now he and the GM have given me an “important” assignment of back stocking all the new stuff we’re getting. Heaven has its jobs, and so does Hell, but who am I?

I have to stop convincing myself I’m this massive sinner. Otherwise, I’ll never get over my consuming addiction. Yet I know I’m not a saint either, but I’m out there looking for a HALO, which is more elusive than my work. The thing is I ain’t Trump, I’m taking responsibility. Inspector Echo, is it too little, too late? I don’t want to spend my life alone, and even my little dæmon is in trouble. You must be getting sick of me with the songs, but AHEM I keep trying to do the right thing, But I keep doing it the wrong way. Aren’t he and I a match, Father and son? Today the question is, why am I trying to change. Well, no, it’s more to the tune of fixing my image. That’s a no go too. In truth, I don’t want to be a good man. Only Will hmm?

Nah. Well HALO There Will.


I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 091 ~Willing To See More~

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Well, I’ve seen the end of Existence month; everyone would talk about how horrible 2020 is looking. No zombies but the Cult of Trump, hell at least I respected Eden’s Gate. The debate last night SIGH. “Willing To See More,” people are a mess, me too.

Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Gospel 091 ~Willing To See More~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’ve seen much of the world by now, right? No SIGH, especially now, but M. Anime suggested Amsterdam given my “interests.” I’ll admit that English accents turn me on ever since Hermione Granger. Now you know we’ll get to her. Yet more to the point, I like Cherry and her Mum’s Yabbos. Not that I’ve seen them, but I wish. There’s plenty of things I wish I hadn’t bared witness to. I’ll be careful what I wish for. Movies like 2008’s Blindness and 2018’s Bird Box creep me out.

Here we go, and yes, I blame myself, but I hate seeing me in the mirror every day. The television is right in front of it in my bedroom, and I covered one side with paperwork. I rarely use the full-body mirror. I avoid Snapchat if only for this reason. And still no physical issues. Well, speaking of problems, what about the Presidential Debate last night? How many times have I said that I need to stop listening to any old white man? Um, the ones I make heroes were surrounded by Beauties. Even with that, I’m voting for Biden. Ain’t That America? I love my country Inspector Echo, and I want to see her real again. All I see is hate, but then also, that isn’t so much the “battle of our time.” I see hatred in everything, and whether it be outside or within, what am I doing?

Want to see how ugly I can be, AHEM? I don’t need the plague era ending. No, Inspector Echo, I’m not saying I want more people to die. I mean with the masks, the munitions, the mass panic. I want more of it. This is the world I’ve desired and yet want to save? Entertainment wise, and yes, I turn towards the rest of the world. I lust for UK Bubbies, Russian Bewbz, and Japanese “Bazongas” um Girlfriend Reviews. Let’s not forget the Polish hmm. Between MILF Dos and a few Hentai artists, I’m keeping my bucks, or I was. Finally, I continue to hear these stories, and yes, while I’m not sure about looks, I think these photos make me “ugly.” Anyway, these women speak of such horrors, and what do I think honestly? Hot… I’m going to Hell.

Sorry to look but not see. Willing To See More

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 084 ~Not Easy Being Will~

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How many times this month will I ask the question, “What’s My Age Again?” Speaking of ripping off a song, what about Kermit, the Frog? I’m also trying to remember my colors, while but one really matters, GREEN. Not Easy Being Will

Wednesday, September 23, 2020

Gospel 084 ~Not Easy Being Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m not a Republican. Now I like GREEN as much as the next guy. Yes, I can be as YELLOW as any one of them. God help me when it comes to WHITE women. I can name two BLACK ones. One’s my 2nd BFF, the other’s iffy, so I wish. If I’m going to focus on something in my pants, let it be the money. I’m still time traveling, so today is Monday, Inspector Echo. My first sin is being a liar about the cash. No, I would have stayed at the Day Job. Hell, I wouldn’t have slept all day away, but I did.

Fortunately for most people, when I see RED, it’s at myself. One more reason I hate looking in mirrors. Tom Bilyeu, a motivational speaker I’m into, said this: “No one will ever hate you with the intensity that you can hate yourself.” That’s some honesty. Enlightening, I say, like all of a sudden noticing the BLUE sky. Only Existence Day, well all of Existence Month has been nothing but BLUE. I don’t need to look up once for raindrops, bird droppings, and dust to cover me. Um, yep, I need an eye check-up soon. Always on the lookout for my Oldman and the PURPLE of his fraternity logo. If I want to talk about PURPLE, how about the mature dress covering Tifa’s Yabbos or how it’s removed. That’s the one good thing I’ve seen all day besides my Dæmon’s face.

Oh yeah, what about the PINK bra that Cherry was wearing. She’s still not talking to me. If I were her, I wouldn’t be speaking to me either with all the “edging” I’m doing. I did get in contact with Indiana Gone. Also, I owe M. Anime a yarn. Nope, I only slept away, SIGH.

None of my friends deserve the SILVER medal. Even that Inspector Echo reminds me of yet one more board I lost. St. Louis Luxurious Wheels Azur Lane. I told you I had to scrap the Pinterest App with my muscle memory going on. My thumbs know my mind, ha, ha. Everything is keeping me from the GOLD, but it’s only me. Haven’t I done something with all the Colors of the Wind before? I’m sure I have when I should be focused on BLACK & WHITE. Not Easy Being Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 077 ~Turn On The Will~

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I’ve been in the zone writing today or more to the point, making three lists and checking them twice. Now it’s only September, and the Christmas stuff is coming into the Day Job, and here I am with a “wish list?” Turn On The Will.

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Gospel 077 ~Turn On The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which would actually put me ahead of the 1%. How I wish money turned me on as much as hmm… Let’s say Thora Birch’s Yabbos in American Beauty. Now before I go apologizing for the thought because today ain’t Thursday. Hell, Inspector Echo, it’s not even Wednesday. Only today, we’re chatting away. The wonders of time-travel, or should I say hard work. Even if it’s only 1200 words between you, Dear Future Wife, and Madam Justice.

What should I apologize for? It’s using you and the other ladies to get my such and such project off the ground. It’s like I’m back on one of those dating sites or something. The question is, has anything changed about me? It’s like I’m some Playmate listing Turn Ons and Turn Offs. Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag as far as Turn Ons go. If anything, this is only one more step or the wiggling of my big toe as it were. You know everything I want out of life besides piles of money. Only here I am about to spell it out to save time in more ways than one.

A good cook, Beautiful singing voice, Affectionate, Empathy, Intelligence, Reading books, Appreciation, Laying my head in her lap, Loves movies, Likes to watch video games, Kindness, Eclectic in music, A good listener, Able to be quiet, My dog likes her, Wearing my shirts, Serving as inspiration, Sitting in my lap, Brunettes, Dark Hair, Dirty Talk, Matching lingerie I can tie her up in, Cosplay, Pigtails, Glasses, Schoolgirl look, Any colorful clothing that can serve as ties, Thigh Highs, Knee Socks, Hentai, Likes watching porn, Hentai, Teen, Sex Dolls, Toys, Voyeurism, Submissiveness, Summer Dresses, Exhibitionism, BDSM, Ravishment, Chokers/Collars, Littles/Middles, Talking Fantasies.

I told someone some days back, if you want your house clean, say to a man he’ll get laid. Looks like something else Steve Harvey got wrong; remember Family Feud. I will blank for sex. Make no mistake. Still, I agree with him on the other answers. I’m saying what it took for me today to get up and do all this writing, so yabbos? Yeah, being verified and putting all my business out in the street. I didn’t take a nap though today because I’ve been all focused and tuned in the zone, yep. Sorry, Turn On The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I could have given you a million answers when I was a kid. Now I usually stick to three, and I’m not close to any of them, to be honest, considering the Day Job. Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills um…

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Gospel 070 ~Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should have so many nice soft beds to choose from. Why aren’t I in bed now? Inspector Echo, I worked an eight-hour shift at a place I hate. Hell, I huffed and puffed, I was humiliated, and there’s still so much hatred. Yeah, somebody should have told four-year-old or maybe five-year-old me to try harder. Here we are, two days after “Existence Day,” and I ask myself while listening to “Hurt” and motivations. What have I become? Writer, Adult Movie Director, Brothel Owner?

How am I still so ashamed? Inspector Echo, again I face embarrassment at the Day Job. “You wake up one morning, and half your life is gone,” as the song goes. I can tell you I never thought um (What’s My Age Again) I’d be in retail. Books, Broadband, Broads? Well, Inspector, I wouldn’t be opposed to selling those things. I mean no disrespect; they sell a service. For the longest time, I’ve been saying I’m going to publish my books. I don’t know how many I’ve written for NaNoWriMo. Then there’s The Passion Network. Showtime, maybe Cinemax, those were the days, Inspector Echo. Only for now, “I’m a Subscriber.” Yes, I could tell you all about being a member of several OnlyFans and SubscribeStar. Or even another “modeling” site.

Anyway, I joined up somewhere else that I won’t mention. I keep coming back to shame. I’m not ashamed to say I “write” Erotic Fiction. I can say the word Pornographer because it beats what I’m doing now. Dennis Hof is my idol R.I.P. to such an extraordinary lifestyle. When I was but a child, I wanted to be everything from living life as a swordsman to an astronaut. I wanted to serve the U.S.A. as a fighter pilot; then, I wanted to be a war journalist. There was a time that Journalism was my major. Pen, Paper, Photos, Pens, Pussy. Wickedness Inspector Echo, excuse my language. Oh, stop me before I sound like Trump. Person, woman, man, camera, T.V. Now I swear that Grammarly won’t note that sentence, Inspector.

I have dreams that I have to make real and the idea that I haven’t by this point? Yes, I am so sorry, and I haven’t fallen asleep yet, but what have I accomplished? At what time did I get back? Four, Five, Sixty-Nine Wills.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 094 ~Misery For The Willing~

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I’ve never found tears beautiful; I told my “father” once at Disney World I was crying with joy but other than making it rain dollars he’s only brought me sadness and now, I have become a partner in the business of misery. Misery For The Willing

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 094 ~Misery For The Willing~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars, stop spending money on books but fortunately I have already read Misery by Stephen King so buying it isn’t a priority though I have been thinking about getting a new Kindle. Anything to avoid the sadness that has overwhelmed my life as of late and I’m not even talking about my depression, four dead Fur Babies, a deceased husband, one Break-In and a MILF asking for money; I’m a bad man.

Isn’t this what this is all about Inspector Echo, me being bad, I see all my friends losing their four-legged children, and I can’t do right by mine; well I did cut the grass, but of course we both know why I did that. The woman that lost her husband, dammit I should have been sweeter to her, I mean she does say hi to me but so does my friend whose house got robbed, and in all honesty, I don’t know what to say or do for her. Speaking of which I know what I want to do for the MILF, right there in the title “Mom I’d Like to…” but if I said that to her or how I want to help her, yeah everyone I know would quickly hate my guts.

Donald, Brett, Will, I do not need that sort of comparison, and yet I go back to that day in the Walmart parking lot when that mom approached me and asked for money for her and her daughter, and I gave her five dollars and for a week after I regretted it, why? What would she have done for more and yes I know this isn’t Reality Kings or Brutal Castings, I’m not talking to Dirty Diana here but the fact that such a thought crossed my mind and now here we are but on a positive note I know I’m wrong. Like I told “Cherry” though I am going through a time of my life when I’m won’t say “I’m Sorry” at the rate I would always be sorry because I’m waiting for the next tragedy to come down.

I must wonder might it be the same for others, we can’t remember the Las Vegas shooting, can’t feel bad for some crying white guy, worry about the animals, the ozone, and everything else and then we’re told to live each day as though it were our last. Can you forgive me Inspector Echo for having the strangest question of What’s So Bad About Feeling Good, how about forgiveness for not being a better father and friend, or wanting to bribe needy women, I need less Misery For The Willing?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

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Too many sad friends to give into my misery, and trying to start this new week out of bed if I’m lucky but waiting to go to work and then after, my dose of the rage virus it seems, Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Episode 085 ~Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust~

Fifty-First Rule Madam Justice

How to make One Million Dollars, I wish those ideas came as fast as things I’m mad at or how quickly I get hard, though I didn’t wake up with Morning Wood, no I woke up angry that every other part of me had to get up. I read somewhere that couples shouldn’t go to bed angry, and most nights I’m not sure how I feel, though I usually tell myself stories, I go over games in my head, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time maybe Detroit: Become Human.

Back when I had a full-time school schedule, though I remember a pretty girl here, or there it is the rage I embraced the most, and now, hell I can be angry that I don’t have time for gaming, the money for it, that I don’t have a pretty girl like North, Kara, or Chloe. I’m mad that already I feel sick and what did I do wrong, I woke up right when I wanted to, ate breakfast, I’m even talking to you this morning so why should I be in pain. How about the fact that I can’t have hope, no I’m afraid which only means I need more anger to fuel me because when I get to the day job, what happens then?

Wouldn’t indifference be worse, I either want your head on a stick or your head on a… yeah it’s easier to talk about hate as always, people more often than not prefer my misery and they want it with me smiling. Me and my dumbass smile, THIS I CANNOT DO (anymore) I mean, so either I’m a pervert, a psycho, but never a person and strangely enough that makes me mad because do I honestly want to be like any person I know nowadays. Everyone I like is suffering, the man I am, I still hate, which goes perfectly with hating the majority of human beings so yes indeed I enjoy looking at beautiful things.

The Beautiful People, maybe that’s why I want anger because I want to feel something other than anything to be ashamed of right; being mad makes me damn well normal but pictures of bodies one way or another gets you kicked off Pinterest but not today. For now, I’m angry that this day isn’t going as planned but I am in more control dear Madam Justice, surprisingly this rage and Anger Burns Hotter Than Lust.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

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Am I not worthy of the gold, I am but there is so much work, I should probably get into my motivational listening again and fill like a winner or worse the one who is cheating myself out of everything? Judas Owes Will Silver.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Episode 080 ~Judas Owes Will Silver~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars out of silver and I did attempt to look that up, and then I got somewhat depressed, but you would figure this is something I should know considering I’m always second place. Not a current sin Inspector Echo, back when I was in middle school, I had this “friend” a football jock, son of a preacher man, black kid, and we would always play Mario Kart… he would win consistently or would I let him win?

“Okay,” asked me once do I fear success and when it comes to my writing or getting her into bed the answer is no, I’m lazy pretty much, considering we’re talking now and not two and a half hours ago. I was playing The Walking Dead No Man’s Land, and it’s all about getting more stars than the other guy, I wish I had such a killer instinct a long time ago because I’m grinding wanting to win. My biggest sin though today and perhaps this whole week, hell a few months is why am I not “trying” harder, how I hate that word, and I’m not going to go all Star Wars right now.

You see the person I am guilty of betraying here is myself; I won’t go all religious either since I never swore allegiance to any god… okay, once but I worked in a Christian bookstore and went through a good book phase. I mostly settle for second circle sins (guess I am going a bit religious) LUST for those paying attention and I end up committing ninth circle atrocities, that’s TREACHERY, can you tell I lived in an AME household? Now I could talk about SLOTH which is one of the seven deadly sins but honestly, there was a sin with silver that frankly shows the beast I am, most of my best work this week is slain by it.

Should I be more specific… I could but I won’t which again shows my shame so if I’m adding them all up, the willingness to remain second because of friends, laziness, and indeed lust as well, at least Judas got paid to betray the son of God. May you forgive me my Inspector Echo, for being weighed down my thirty pieces of silver, well one hundred and ten if you count the downloads Monday, and still I want more but you only get that by striving to be no.1, but *sigh* Judas Owes Will Silver.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

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Fear is the monster, and the weapons I have aren’t doing anything to kill it, do I even want to anymore, I’m tired but everything is keeping me on my back or my ass, but at least I’m writing, and words are weapons. “And Other Dangerous Weapons.”

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Lesson 357 ~And Other Dangerous Weapons~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, I suppose some people will answer yes even if they don’t mean it when I’m in the ground, but today I’m Alive; so why is it when I saw 357 I immediately thought about a gun, I’m an American, I’m suicidal, what keeps me on my back?

If anything my day job, I didn’t start sleeping on my back until I became terrified that I would lose my employment, I’ve only ever been late once, and I was wide awake at the time, though generally like Frankenstein’s monster I rise because the job is killing me. How many times do I say I love my dog like pancakes, but like any parent sometimes he becomes my excuse not to do something or to do everything, but love can be a lot of things including shameful. It’s almost as if one should be ashamed of being depressed, for having the blessings that someone like me has, and I am blessed Lady Luna I see that; a bed, a couch, a chair, a dog, so many soft places and some people only see such luxury in a coffin, and that’s if they’re lucky enough.

Speaking of luck the worst weapon that I use against myself is LUST; if I go to Hell, more like when; I can only hope I get a circle two offense, and the sad thing is I can’t even name everything I’ve looked up this past week or even the past hour. I’m so far from paradise nowadays, but I want something higher; I keep telling myself that but as I was saying to “Cherry” yesterday that something greater will probably come with brunette hair.

You would think I wouldn’t look at the ground so much but more at my wooden dining room table or something else that’s indeed rockhard, writing, woody, the weather though I like the rain somewhat which matches my mood, slow and dark. The clock is another source of motivation and irritation over how much time I waste doing nothing it’s a constant struggle it wears me out. Besides lust, SLEEP should be considered one of my seven deadly sins; I have to give up sleep, somebody said that’s when the real work begins when you’re tired and hungry, not that I’m helping myself when it comes to food either sadly.

So day job, fatherhood, depression, lust, writing, time, and sleep, see it doesn’t take a 357 to kill yourself not when there are so many choices And Other Dangerous Weapons.

I Will Have No Fear