Tag: Sorry

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

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Every day, “How are you,” another day, even with Emergence, or Free Candy, and what about Christmas. When I get massive amounts of green one day, I’d like to think I can afford to bring a tree inside. I can now but Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday yep

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Gospel 175 ~Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday…~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now and still making one more dollar cue Homer drool. Now you know I’m not one for the holidays. Long story short, PEOPLE. During this time of the year, you might call me Mr. Grinch, Scrooge, or “Cross.” Didn’t care for “Scrooged.” Bless Indiana Gone for trying her best. She did send me a Christmas card. Now don’t tell her I told you, but she did forget about MY “Emergence Day.” Okay, so that’s the point, hmm. I never tell anyone. Hers is Star Wars Day, oh, um, a good holiday ha.

Anyway, so I say people, but I should also say with money, things get complicated. Take now, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, as they say. Yesterday I envisioned the Christmastime I hope to share with my family someday. Okay, one day, motivations. However, I shared the truth of my current situation. There isn’t a tree up, no lights, no wrapped gifts, we’ll get to that. There isn’t any “Roast Beast” in the fridge. Truth is, I’m still living, for the most part, with leftover Turkey. I don’t mean to complain so much. Inspector Echo, I have money. Is it all this talk in the news lately about stimulus this and that? The idea that I’m beginning to believe Serra Hyundai (assholes) pardon my French has been lying to me. My biggest shame is that I haven’t even bought my Dæmon a gift.

I shouldn’t talk about gifts because that reminds me of Emergence Day. Hell, I should probably put Gears of War on my Wish List. Okay, you already know that Emergence Day is the worst day of my life, and it’s why I spend most of it in hiding, hating life. Now, if I cared to make a list of worst holidays, after Emergence and Christmas would be Valentine’s Day. What, am I trying to be in love at some point. And again, I’m not exactly buying gifts, AHEM, two. Let’s not put women and any money in the same idea. Where will that lead to? Besides wanting a family and what about taking kids to trick or treat. I don’t need little monsters at my door when kids scare the crap out of me anyway.

So I’m keeping people away and money in my pocket. I don’t need the ghosts for Payday, Will’s Favorite Holiday.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 168 ~Will Finds That Alarming~

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Last week was about taking it easy, and I still am, but I want to wake up and actually do something. I mean, besides reading Dani Wyatt (nothing against her). Or clean out my phone, 6000 photos and 98% of them are… Will Finds That Alarming.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020

Gospel 168 ~Will Finds That Alarming~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and the idea of making more money never gets old. If I ever had that much, I would do right by my mom. Happy Birthday, Mom! Not that I’ll ever let her read this, but I will have to text her sometime today. Being Wayward Progeny. Now that would be a cool band name. Good ideas like making money are terrific, yet they don’t keep me awake. So my first sin for today. When I have to go to the Day Job, I set five different alarms. On days like this, I start one, and here we are again, talking late.

Okay, so it’s Ten A.M., but you know our conversation won’t be over by Eleven. No, I’m going to work on something I like, and it’s not writing. Yes, “that thing,” and I’m getting dangerously close to the edge. Let’s say I’m cleaning out my phone. The last time… sigh. Speaking of both good and bad things. Eric Vall’s books keep me awake, but it’s the holidays. Now, as I was waiting for my Dæmon to wake up, I began another Christmas story from Dani Wyatt. Um, There are far too many holidays to make this a big deal. Inspector Echo, I need to stop with certain trigger words. Again there is something else that will wake me up most mornings and keep me going far into the night. One more reason I want to make it my life’s work. I wouldn’t waste a second of getting to live life.

Not in FEAR. There was an upheaval a few days ago. I swear, I thought I had been hacked, but many of the users I saw reported the same thing. Besides the Day Job, my Dæmon’s life, so many secrets, breaking my SIX. Geez, there’s so much, too much FEAR. Hell, just now, I heard a sound downstairs, so I grabbed my “steel” and went to investigate. Every time I even touch that gun, it scares me for three reasons:

  1. I don’t like having it around.
  2. I like the feel of it, and I want more guns.
  3. I’m getting used to it.

Inspector, I did mention my Dæmon a few times today. Any sound he makes immediately gets my attention. I love him like pancakes, always Echo.

Someday my life won’t need alarms. Will Finds That Alarming

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

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Another week, another Christmas book, or more a novella. What am I taking a break from reading anything real? Says the man who’s been lost in Eric Vall’s novels? What else have I been doing besides sleeping, hmm? “Will Takes A Break,” again

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 161 ~Will Takes A Break~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should be “EVIL…” The other day I read something to the tune of a billionaire is like a dragon hoarding wealth. Add to my list of things to do; sleeping on a pile of money. That’s me taking a break. I only sleep. Don’t worry, Inspector Echo. If last night was any sign. When it comes to talking to you and the girls, I’m like Edward Cullen meets Bella Swan. We’ll get into books in a minute or later. It’s almost 6:00 PM, meaning it’s time for some Far Cry 5 and WWE.

Now I talked about the DRAGON and all, but here’s something else. Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. Again I’m getting back into gaming because I have to give myself things to do. You must be thinking, “killing cultists?” Well, they ain’t MAGA hats, hmm? Okay, that was pretty dark but, don’t ask me to go darker. I still think about that book from K Webster from time to time. I imagine I would have liked such a thing once. For now, it creeps me out what occurred at the end. Oh, and the 2nd comes out in a month. I’m thankful I finished “Sinning The Cherry On Top,” but you don’t know what it’s like. I hate not working on it, and the conclusion, and then picking it up again. Once I thought it was the reason that I couldn’t get to bed at a decent time. So what did I do last night?

Well, I mean besides talking to Madam Justice and finally getting to bed around 4:00 AM? Let’s say starting that morning is a blur, and I literally can’t talk about it. Yet again, my Republican tendencies of knowing, wanting honesty, but I won’t utter anything. Sadly, I won’t be completing my Six Impossible Things. You can take your pick on the number except if it’s six. I’m reading another Christmas story, a novella. Inspector Echo, you can call me lazy for all the breaks I’ve been taking. Indulging within procrastination. Only now, I’m trying to hide away from life, from knowing right and wrong. And of course, from the Day Job that breaks me more than anything and yet I go don’t I, my schedule.

A lucky break ain’t coming, and I’m sorry I believed such. Will Takes A Break

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

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This time last week, I was scared to death of going into the “Day Job.” Now I feel the whole month of December is going to be that fear mixed with everything. Yet today, I started a Christmas book on top of being worried about… For Will, The Holidays

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Gospel 154 ~For Will, The Holidays~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means during the season of giving, I should be out somewhere. How long did it take me to get from the bed to the loveseat in the den? Inspector Echo, I said I would get to bed before midnight? Well, that was a “damn” lie. Okay, take a breath, remember gratitude. As with most days, I’m discombobulated, even more so today, but at least I remembered it’s Wednesday, so small favors. I saved my Dæmon from getting his nail caught in his collar… Yes, a trip for grooming is coming.

It’s not like my Imp has any place to show off, though. As for me, I want to go back to bed and start reading my next Eric Vall novel. However, it is December. I must keep reminding myself of the time today. So here I have a bit of a confession. I HATE CHRISTMAS.

Now that seems harsh, and again, I should be grateful. Not stealing Lady Sophia’s shine, but I’m glad that the sequel to that K Webster novel I read isn’t out. I lack the guts to go back to A.J. Markam titles. I’m heavy into Eric Vall’s books, my absolute favorites. Echo, what does this have to do with me hating the holidays? As a matter of fact, my form of celebrating is reading Christmas stories… with other elements mixed in. Currently, I’m reading something from Abby Knox. But yeah, the 4th circle of Hell SIGH.

When I was a child Inspector Echo, I never imagined life would turn out like this. I would help my mother trim the tree. My “father” and I would decorate the house. I would wake my sister up at 6:00 AM. Hell, I was unboxing my N64 before Christmas… sorry. Nowadays, Scrooge, the Grinch, I’ve never seen Krampus, but I want to subscribe to its newsletter. Let’s say, I understand. I’m trying Echo, I am.

Again I read Christmas books, I have a Spotify holiday playlist. They’re a few Christmas classics I like. Still nothing. Of course, I’ll be talking more about this, but today it’s been a rush of things. NaNoWriMo ended, and I hate my story. The Dæmon is getting older, and I’m worried. Grammarly hit me hard. Yeah, pardon my language but eff you, Grammarly. Thanksgiving leftovers.

Most wonderful time, Bah Humbug, sorry. For Will, The Holidays.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 147 ~Will Vs. St. Patrick~

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Last week didn’t I say something about MAGA Hats? Now I want to punch myself for wearing a green hoody. Money green as the Day Job puts it. More like sickly green I hate getting out of bed. How far is Ireland to start a new life. Will Vs. St. Patrick

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Gospel 147 ~Will Vs. St. Patrick~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should be used to green. Do you remember when I said I’m done with McDonald’s after getting food poisoning… how many times? Anyway, I needed a snack after going out today, and no, it was not by any choice, ha-ha. Inspector, I believe it was Kermit who said it ain’t easy being green. Still, I would rather be rich than sick. I want to be wealthy than jealous of every little thing. Killmonger said it must feel good. Tonight as with most nights, I’m exhausted with minimal effort, yeah.

Pondering, what does any of this have to do with St. Patrick? From a quick read, he is the patron saint of Ireland, and he’s known to have banished snakes. Talk about not doing my research right. All I know is, I bought two green hoodies today, both for the Day Job, no fun ever. Of “Two Of The Lucky Ones,” no, I’m not one. Neither am I the Fortunate One. For damn sure, I wish I was dressed like “The One.” Yes, I know Grammarly is going to ding my ask for saying one so many times. If I were a good writer, I wouldn’t be suffering right now. Yes, I’m being a bit dramatic, but “Humiliations Galore” are becoming a way of life. Okay, I should stop talking about them, but I need something to sing about to get to bed sometime soon. Or I could and should stop lying to NaNoWriMo and having to make up counts.

Now I always do Inspector Echo. If you add in what I meant to do last night and tonight, well damn, we are looking at three-thousand, so I should be proud. Nope, because I still have to read; I only hope Goodreads counts the paltry amount I read only tonight. Nothing I have been doing has qualified me for sainthood. Spending everything on Eric Vall because I’m still scared of A.J. Markam and especially K Webster. You don’t know how hard I was fighting such terror at the Day Job. Okay, I failed plenty, Inspector. Nothing of this line of thinking holds any weight on St. Patrick. I only know Saint’s Row and St. Raphael as I put him in my novel. Please don’t ask me why ever Inspector Echo.

I’m just sorry and tired… sick? Will Vs. St. Patrick

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 140 ~Willing By The Days~

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What day is it again? Now those MAGA Hats can, in the words of DX, “Suck It.” At the moment, I’m all for MWGA… doesn’t have the same ring. Not to mention I can’t remember the last time I felt great. “Willing By The Days”

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Gospel 140 ~Willing By The Days~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that’s not why I forgot about you. If anything, I’m forgetting what it feels like to be okay. One of my motivations says, “You did not wake up today to be mediocre.” How I can say at this moment, why yes I did Inspector. Yesterday or today at four in the morning, I planned on doing a great many things. I need a haircut; I should go shopping as everyone is in an uproar. Now it ain’t all bad. I did do 1,900 words. I got my Imp to take his meds for once but will he again? No humiliations.

Now they will come, Inspector Echo. We’re heading into Thanksgiving next week. Can you believe that I actually remembered that? If I think I’m wiped out right about now, I’m in trouble, I’m in real big trouble, as the song goes. Endure and Survive, right? Inspector Echo, the thing is, I’m not sure I want to. No, as always, I’m not suicidal. Only I can’t name a whole lot of stuff that is bringing me joy right now. I have Eric Vall, but his books are saying, expect a twist. I fall asleep to Far Cry 5 stories, reviews, walkthroughs. Fighting my addictions are a bitch, pardon my French. I don’t have anything to be bragging about, and again I have my story to write. So here I am fighting for the days to fly-by, and I only have myself to blame for this mess.

Of course, I could stop, at this second, I want to lie in bed and do nothing. The good news is tonight I won’t be going to bed at 4:00 AM yet again. The bad news is, what will I be doing this weekend. I have a chance to catch up now. I could even do it tonight, but um? Yeah, that’s right. I’ll make promises, and then I’ll cut off my alarm and go right back to sleep. Oh, except for my occupation that’s going to treat me like garbage and make me despise myself. I keep going through Hell, and it’s much bigger than I could ever imagine. Strangely hate isn’t as strong as I hoped, and don’t talk to me about love right now, Inspector Echo. Sorry.

I get back to you only to be down on myself? Willing By The Days

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 133 ~Sink Or Swim Will~

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As the saying goes, sweat, blood, and tears, along with plenty of other stuff I rather not talk about because I’m much too weak. The only good news is, it allowed me to work on my book with no distractions. “Sink Or Swim Will,” too bad I don’t drink.

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Gospel 133 ~Sink Or Swim Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I could probably afford the top-shelf booze. If anything, I would kill for an alcohol problem. Okay, I know that’s pretty offensive with the people I know. Still, at this juncture, as Emperor Palpatine put it, “I’m too weak.” In other news, I got back to working on my book. How do THEY say the end justifies the means? Only I wouldn’t count 2000 words as a victory, but it’s way more than what I give on an average day, to say I did.

From sweating about my book to someone else’s. K Webster to be specific. Yes, I know it’s been about a week now, but that book is still messing with me. The most I’ve done on Goodreads is report a spammer. Yet here I am, worried about reading some second book. Yes, this is Lady Sophia’s thing, but after K Webster, I got into A.J. Markam again for peace. So why did I almost cry at the ending of the fourth novel? I believe I brought up Ian and Alaria. Spoiler Alert as the music crescendos, “And she’s dead, she’s dead.” Discombobulated… I don’t know if that should be a hated word or most liked one? How about procrastination because? Besides everything else, I have been drowning in emails trying not to talk about anything. Oh yeah, just like yesterday, right?

I could blame all the dog slobber trying to get my Dæmon to take his meds. I don’t know what to tell you, Inspector Echo, but he’s got it into his head that he hates it now. I cry over books, but never him. He’s my son, I love him like pancakes, how about syrup? Interesting that it may become a rare commodity with the way things are going on in this country. It’s like a flood of crap, and that’s why I’m losing my mind to the fiction of everything else. Have we talked about COVID-19 lately? Should I head to a dentist soon? The masks won’t last forever, Inspector Echo. Now since my eyes are decent, how do I expect to ever find the Maggie to my Glenn. Yeah, I should stop that train of thought right there and say Happy Veteran’s Day? Does that sound right, Echo?

I was in Navy boot camp once, but couldn’t swim ever; Sink Or Swim Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 126 ~Will Votes, A Shame?~

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If you only saw what I put in my novel last night… the things I can’t talk about and yet a hole in the head is acceptable. I need anything to take my mind off the election, but K Webster sure Hell ain’t it. Fantastic writer, BTW. Will Votes, A Shame?

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Gospel 126 ~Will Votes, A Shame?~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now but at least not the one I read about this evening. I don’t even remember if I voted for K Webster’s latest novel in my book club. Speaking of voting, yes, as a BLACK man living in the United States of America, I did vote yesterday.

It’s a good thing I don’t have my “business” up and running. Even if I did Inspector Echo, I couldn’t tell you about it right now. As the song goes, “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” What scares me is the fact that such Hate is not mine alone. Um, people suck. I voted for Biden and Harris, a democratic senator, a near-perfect Democratic ticket. The thing is Inspector Echo is that people are so full of Hate. They would watch the country burn and doom us. They won’t say something like BLACK LIVES MATTER, maddening. There’s a rule that I have Rule #4 Hate Will Keep You Alive. Of course, Rule #5 states Love Is Worth Dying For. I watched a YouTube reaction or instead listened, and the question was asked in World Beyond. What’s the strongest force in the world. The reactor blurted out, Hate.

I happen to agree with her, but Inspector Echo, I don’t feel so good. Now I know you’re not Lady Sophia, but that book today has me all discombobulated. Hell, I got a month to “pray” that the book club doesn’t pick the sequel to read, but I’m inevitably screwed. Well, I could vote, but I’m sitting here with a pit in my stomach over a novel, well, two books. If anything, shouldn’t I be worried about my country and that Trump could win? My senator lost; the senate itself lies in Republican hands still. How liberty dies, they say? At the moment, though, what’s freaking me out, besides my lack of writing, are these other novelists. K Webster, Colleen Hoover, W. Anton, and the list goes on. When did I lose my taste for this genre? I mean, I read Skye Warren, Lily White, Tillie Cole. I’ve read “guides.”

W. Anton wasn’t the only one? I tell you I rushed today’s reading because I couldn’t stand what they did to one protagonist; it was just… I’m sorry and ashamed of reading such, not enjoying it. Of voting, winning, or losing… Will Votes, A Shame?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 119 ~A High Maintenance Will~

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Another Day Off surrendered for forty bucks, yeah right, and then I came back and went to sleep. But, who needs a billion dollars and a fancy writing desk. I’m much better off unloading trucks and the stockroom. A High Maintenance Will

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Gospel 119 ~A High Maintenance Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and with that kind of money, I’m not… hmm, I don’t have a word. Weird, Wicked, another term used to describe women, a Witch. Inspector Echo I have nothing but respect for women, with all my talk to M. Anime lately.

Well, that was until last night. I want to tell you what I said, but you know me. I’m staying “Family-Friendly” until Thursday, SIGH. I have no embarrassments to speak on other than “Talking Tables.” I hate that company profusely. I’m sweating like some druggie. Yet, since I can’t talk of one particular sin, I suppose Greed and Sloth will have to do. Even mentioning the seven deadly sins gets me to think of Eric Vall’s books. By tomorrow I’ll be done with another A.J. Markam title. Where does the time go and the dollars? Anyway, I should really focus on the hands of the clock, though. Did I mention how sweaty my hands are? Again it’s like I’m needing a good fix. Usually, I’m pretty damn cheap except when buying books or trying to be a better person ever.

Haven’t we spoken a time or two about how I refuse to buy store brands… for the most part. I’m nowhere near living large, but again where does all the money go, Inspector Echo. I’m sitting here cursing pizza, which is utter blasphemy. I worked on an off day too. Inspector, how much am I worth… an extra four hours, and what am I going to do with it? I’m more concerned about going on six hours that I wasted sleeping. Ok, so not all of them since again I’m 85% done with another novel. I even gained some enlightenment. Only now I’m not sharing because of Greed, Sloth, and let’s throw in some Pride to the mix. Yeah, like I don’t share all my other secrets for the world to see. I’m not better than anybody I know it.

Only this lazy, good for nothing boy, I treat better than the man I ought to be. I mentioned Marvin Gaye and Teddy Pendergrass. At the Day Job, beside them, I listened to some “decent” affirmations for all the good that did. I found out a “favorite” website got axed.

I’m sorry, Inspector Echo, who I am, is such a cheap date and high maintenance. Contradiction, A High Maintenance Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

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Today was spent assembling rolling carts and the like with a Canadian gentleman. Don’t ever tell me Canada is “a nice place,” but then again, living in the US… yeah, where’s my passport? “Will And His Wrench,” there are several in my plans.

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Gospel 112 ~Will And His Wrench~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I have a few handymen on call. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, being “Family-Friendly” SUCKS. On family, I remember something my “Father” taught me. If you want something done right, do it yourself, yep.

Well, that was in The Fifth Element, too, where I learned that lesson. Now my Mother and Father’s teachings were this. I’m worthless, I better fix it, and how to shut my mouth. A new game system, setting my sister’s TV, the dæmon napping away. Unfortunately, that’s what I was doing most of today, sleeping. If I were smarter, I would have told the Day Job to go to Hell, but instead, I went in. The question; is something wrong with my bed or something wrong with me, as I can’t stay awake for anything. Another signal of my ongoing depression, which is still an excuse. How dare I call it depression as I’m humiliated at the Day Job always. No, I’m only lazy and STUPID. I don’t intend to be so down on myself. I have no real coping tools, really Inspector Echo, SIGH.

Speaking of tools, I’m still looking at the dining room table in utter disgust and contempt. It’s all my fault, no doubt, the burn marks on the wood. I’ve told you how much of a “Scrooge” I am, haven’t I? It’s only October so let’s go with Brewster’s Millions, Inspector.
I haven’t bought an ironing board since when? Hell, I won’t even go out to buy lightbulbs, and I wonder why I can’t see… uh, the light. I am sitting on a thousand dollars, and I won’t spend a penny; why. We know why and I can’t talk about it ever. If I’m being good. Let’s stick to the sins of SLOTH and GREED. Besides talking to you, I am still reading with no thought of the time. 15% every day is my quota. What am I learning about Inspector Echo? Knowledge is power, but none of what I know helped me fix the table.

I am gaining insights into my novel. More like what to steal, but Eric Vall is a great writer. I’m thinking along the lines of some customers getting blackmailed or murdered. And one more thing, none of this makes any sense to you, Inspector. Sorry.

Only, Will And His Wrench

I Will Have No Fear