Gospel 349 ~B Leaves The Fix~

B and I weren’t ones for any sort of repair work. He’d bark until whatever would go away. I kept things running, wanting to find him a mom. When we broke, there wasn’t anything an, “I’m sorry” and a bag of fries couldn’t fix then… “B Leaves The Fix.”

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Gospel 349 ~B Leaves The Fix~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should hire someone to fix the bathroom plumbing. That’s something that men do.

I’ll be honest, anytime I’ve tried something like that, Braxton would run and hide. It doesn’t mean I haven’t done it. When I unclogged a toilet, Braxton Barks tucked tail. Cleaning is another matter with the same result. When I would clean up nice, either I was in trouble, or he was. It would mean my Olds are coming over or a pretty girl, often enough. I built two bookcases, I would put together some electronic things. Of course, my actual work was to create a world for him and me. You came along, and um B III wasn’t thrilled. The thing is, isn’t this what a man is supposed to do. I say often enough, A Man Provides, but where did love come in.

I didn’t know how to love Braxton when he first came into my world. Then, the first time he ever got sick, my sister had to show me how to hold him. Braxton was tough afterward. Braxton didn’t like me seeing him sick because I would try everything to make him better but like everything… My baby girl, you’re perfect because love makes me really STUPID. You know how much I revile that word. Only like hate, to feel such love, I can’t turn it off. I knew there was some reason I thought of the Bath, but the sink’s good, unlike me, I know. Love and hate are flowing, but I can’t stop it, and it fills up and what happens. It’s never good.

That’s why Braxton would hide because for better or for worse, I wouldn’t be, I don’t know. Only as much of a man as I try to be, there are some things I cannot repair, HURT. When I was so young, I thought I was super bright and then life. I can’t bring B III back. Every day I told myself that I would never break your heart; ours remain broken. Children are still waiting for me to come back to “myself” there’s plenty of movies. Darling, I’ll bring you home, singing to me like Sade, but I’m here, hiding, dying. Destroying everything like Braxton thought I would until he knew he could come out. A better place, so I’m scared. B Leaves The Fix

135 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 163 ~Will And His Pipe-Dreams~

The sweat of my brow, a want of video games and books, and plumbing my how that annoys me something awful, so that time of the year again, not Christmas, just getting by day to day, someday with a family. Will And His Pipe-Dreams.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Episode 163 ~Will And His Pipe-Dreams~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when I’m willing to risk it all, Nah, I’ve gambled away twenty bucks on horses, a month on most of my books “NaNoWriMo” (why am I a horrible writer again); anyway when it came to you… Now to this day, I have never seen the movie We Bought A Zoo but you know how I am with movie quotes, and I’m sure you’ve heard me talk Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

Honestly, this is nowhere near the most romantic thing I’ve ever thought about, and sure I could talk about the old fairytales of knights and damsels, though our daughter is more Katniss, Rey, Jyn, Zelda, a hundred other heroines. Hell, I might have called you princess when we were dating, again a hundred different reasons, The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros, Star Wars, don’t complain we have our grand castle now my queen. Anyway, my point is sometime long ago, I thought I was bugging you, I was that ant making his way through the bathtub drain (yes baby girl I killed them), perhaps I was the Itsy Bitsy Spider, that’s worse, let’s agree that I had High Hopes.

Twenty seconds my love, to bug you, to roll the Dice, to say Can We Talk, Can I Take You Out Tonight. Yes my playlist can be as addicting as any drug, but you were so intoxicating, yes I’m a little Drunk On You but if I ever fall to my knees, as I pray for “B III” if there is anything up there, anything I need be for you, damn I’m All The Above. Being here with you, seeing, believing, and knowing what those twenty seconds have turned into, from the idea that in this whole universe, somehow I didn’t have to ask Save Room for us there was somehow a place. Even when I’m so down on myself, when I feel like I’m drowning, I always say when it rains it pours, and yes I could break out some I got sunshine on a cloudy day, though I prefer that it’s love that has you Stay With Me or maybe it’s a mix:

I figure maybe I’ve cried enough this week and it’s only Tuesday and you know anything other than a hot shower or bath irks me, I still can’t swim, beaches, pools, and cruises I tolerate, and Baby Shark is everywhere, please Baby It’s Cold Outside. One moment reason we’re here together and “Triple B” isn’t saying my princess is in another castle because my queen you are right here, but once Will And His Pipe-Dreams.

I Will Have No Fear