Tag: Water

Saga 271 ~One B, Double V~

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Double V victory abroad and at the house. The world kicks my ass daily, but I always return to B III. Now the world continues, and when I get back… Virgil is fighting his loneliness and the little he knows about the world. “One B, Double V”

Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Saga 271 ~One B, Double V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And even being wealthy enough to buy a time machine, I wouldn’t change Braxton’s name. Neo…

Once again, Inspector, you know how I am. When my Humiliations Galore pays a visit… I need my greatest pain. I need to go all Dido “that it’s not so bad. It’s not so bad.” Humiliations Galore are nothing to the simple truth that B, my perfect little boy, died. Only I didn’t know he was/is perfect at the time. If you had asked me, would I rather have a woman or my son… I’d never touch my dick again if you told me I could have my B III. In case you’re wondering why I’m calling you so late. “Don’t worry about a thing. Cause every little thing, gonna be all right,” as the song goes. I was all about Pop Culture yesterday too.

But besides all the Pop and thinking about my cock. Before talking to you, there were “People of Color.” I wonder did I pick that up in “A Black Women’s History of the United States.” Yes, Inspector, I read until I reached 75%. Tomorrow will be 90%, and Friday. But let’s stick with today and the fact that I couldn’t tell you what I retained (sigh). The GOP would be pleased. But still, I want to buy every book on African Americans and dead fur babies I can get my hands on. Even if I don’t remember a damn sentence. That’s the thing, Inspector; I would instead feel good over being smart. The Kindle Challenge? Finishing it is no accomplishment… But to win? Having that?

When I was in junior high. And then high school, there was a neighbor kid across the street, Inspector. He whipped my ass in Mario Kart every day. And do you know what I learned? Second place is okay. Now it’s not, but the fact remains I always settle Inspector. Again I can’t tell you anything about the book I’m reading but having fifteen bookmarks. I don’t want to think about love anymore. But I can do lust all day even if I’m not getting off ever. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad,” like the song says, and I can go and exist as such, I know. But Braxton to Virgil? Neither Virgil nor I want to be second. The fight to be. Him and I? One B, Double V

787 Days Without B III, Day 228 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 264 ~ Virgil’s Escape, Plan B~

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I thought Virgil didn’t have initiative. He’s been sniffing at a gap in the fence after learning to navigate the stairs. I’ve taught him to run away. But for me, welcome to Hell. I know I’m not escaping and even fun things… “Virgil’s Escape, Plan B.”

Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Saga 264 ~ Virgil’s Escape, Plan B~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can afford to fix the fence. Virgil’s already sniffing around, looking to escape.

But of course, me being the selfish A-hole I am. Let’s talk about me and my plan B as in… Yeah, you guessed it. I want to be with my boy. I should have followed Braxton. Oh, how many days has it been? 780 days and counting, Inspector. All I do is count these days. Effing inventory! But that’s for another time. What was I doing Monday, March 20, 2023; well, after kicking Virgil out for some alone time. No, Echo, not to masturbate, thankfully. Only I did lie in bed naked and thought of something that hadn’t come to mind in so many years. I imagine it was during my religious phase. Or let’s say, um, spiritual… “Astral Projection.” And so I tried it.

I’m going to have to buy some new books on the subject. I’ve forgotten everything. Inspector, how books were once an escape from life. I can’t even do that anymore; reading anything I want? And don’t get me wrong. I’m not hating on current material. Monday, I’m reading “A Black Women’s History of the United States.” Sunday, was “Carry On: Reflections for a New Generation.” Before I read “How to Be an Antiracist” and “Mesmerizing Caroline – The Movie Theater.” Black skin, white titties. And to be honest with you, Inspector Echo, I want to read about more dead fur babies. But that’s not an escape. Is it? Ask me where I want to be; it’s simple. Holding breathing, Braxton. To escape my grief… NEVER.

Hell! I don’t even know where to run to anymore. “Run To You,” right, Inspector? Writing in general. I mean, I hate the Day Job. I wish to honor my son. I need a doctor. What about providing for the freeloader… um, Virgil. Again I also need a new fence. Letting Virgil escape? One way or another, he’ll end up in a box. Right beside my Braxton, won’t V? Funny he sleeps on the left side. So even now, Braxton is there looking over him. I’m not looking at other “boxes,” if you get my meaning. Pornography, effing no. Effing Republican, am I right? Keeping him away from XXX. But the gun’s in the drawer. Hedonism, Sadism, a release, escaping existence. Virgil’s Escape, Plan B.

780 Days Without B III, Day 221 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

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I haven’t cried today. I can’t afford it. But you know how I begin the day. If I had billions, I wouldn’t be doing “that.” The Day Job pay is crap, but I find the time to teach 2V to go down the stairs so he can take one. “Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time”

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

Saga 257 ~Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This leaves me more time to cry… or not. I wouldn’t be one for servants. Norman…

You know, the butler from “The Big O” series. If it was between Bruce Wayne’s “Alfred and Roger Smith’s “Norman?” I’d choose Norman, I know. Debates in the shower. Inspector, that’s when I’m not jerking it to Madison Paige. Oh, we’ll get to that soon. Today’s point is Inspector: I can’t stand the pain even though it’s well deserved. Inspector, it’s Times Like These; I want to spill any other fluid. Endure and Survive. Sunday, so the last episode of The Last of Us, which I’ve been thinking about. That and the fact that I like the sound of the rain. Drowning out all the hurt in water, Inspector? One of “my” greatest fears is drowning. (Shudders). I even have a deal with Braxton’s Aunt.

If the end comes by “The Way of Water,” she will fetch me with a boat. How did Noah do it? It wasn’t a boat big enough for all the tears I shed when B died. Have I cried today? I’m sure Braxton’s Aunt has. She and her husband lost their fur baby, Midnight, Inspector. If it’s not grief, then it’s fear. I’m sure I brought up what some reactor said about the three emotions of sadness, fear, and anger. Of everything I have to be scared of today. Cherry wrote a play that shows what a fucked up person I am. Abusive stories Inspector. Only I’m not angry at her at all. If anything, I’m mad at myself for several reasons. Spitting, Sweating, Sick

But as long as V’s ok? He can use the stairs by himself for the most part. V lacks initiative. Well, not when it comes to the gate. He’ll go on the carpet if I leave him on the floor. Inspector, I could kick him out then… back to Braxton’s Room and be alone edging. Which, of course, is how I ended up sick. Thursday, February 16, 2023, The Cherry Collision. Last week I thought I was healing… Inspector, it’s a million times worse now. And now I go back and forth between needing a doctor and saying I got what I effing deserve. Effing dark. Inspector, what becomes of Virgil without me? Braxton? Virgil’s time? Mine? What do I do? Virgil Bags Braxton’s Time

773 Days Without B III, Day 214 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 149 ~Here B Dragons Virgil~

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I’ve never been on a cruise before, but I’ve been on a boat here or there, “Disney World.” I like fishing with my Granddaddy (the same man who says he doesn’t know me anymore.) And drowning is a messed up way to die. But “Here B Dragons Virgil.”

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Saga 149 ~Here B Dragons Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And money buys power. We can get all up in “The Untouchables.” But that’s not your problem.

No, not when you’re picking up dog shit on the concrete landing in the backyard. Perhaps you’re being a bit harsh with yourself today, which is sad. Nowhere to go and no one to see. So you’re deciding to be an asshole today. Anger beats the alternative. I was sad last night. And you? B would hate this. You always feel like crying over him. Only today, it wasn’t even thoughts of him that brought out your first tears. Asshole! Weakling? Still crying over your dead kid. No wonder some sailors took to the blue. Yesterday, where do I begin? Was it the fact that you still owe $2,541.00? Investment? There’s wasting time on so many games. Oh, and books. There remain Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING World War Z by Max Brooks
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

What was I looking for in these things? What are you looking for? Salvation, Redemption? Every week, I find myself wishing I could keep you right here. Sort of like with little Virgil. Hell! To be warm in bed. You keep imagining Braxton’s idea of Elysium… A bed in the yard, surrounded by food. A place Braxton could lie in the sun and then cuddle. Then there’s that need for him to get out into the world. If anything, so he wouldn’t hate it so much. Like father, like son. Whatever the Hell is out there? I survived the worst week Day Job wise, but you (sigh). There’s this song, “The world won’t get no better if we just let it be.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Will You Love Me?: The Rescue Dog That Rescued Me
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures FOR My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I wish these were only words. Dammit! What am I talking about? They are gibberish. But you’ve seen the monsters outside that door. I was drowning. Inevitably it’s your turn. When one door closes, another opens… You’re starting to see that with Virgil Vivi. FEAR. You will be plenty anxious to enter the next room when you know what awaits you. The Day Job, Braxton’s Room, Bedroom, to the back yard. When was the last time I opened a door, and it was where I felt safe, or I wasn’t falling asleep? And still, nothing out there is worse than you. Your existence doesn’t need a map because, at the end of the day… No matter where you’ll set sail ANYTIME. Here B Dragons Virgil

665 Days Without B III, Day 106 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Episode 163 ~Will And His Pipe-Dreams~

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The sweat of my brow, a want of video games and books, and plumbing my how that annoys me something awful, so that time of the year again, not Christmas, just getting by day to day, someday with a family. Will And His Pipe-Dreams.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Episode 163 ~Will And His Pipe-Dreams~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when I’m willing to risk it all, Nah, I’ve gambled away twenty bucks on horses, a month on most of my books “NaNoWriMo” (why am I a horrible writer again); anyway when it came to you… Now to this day, I have never seen the movie We Bought A Zoo but you know how I am with movie quotes, and I’m sure you’ve heard me talk Twenty Seconds Of Insane Courage.

Honestly, this is nowhere near the most romantic thing I’ve ever thought about, and sure I could talk about the old fairytales of knights and damsels, though our daughter is more Katniss, Rey, Jyn, Zelda, a hundred other heroines. Hell, I might have called you princess when we were dating, again a hundred different reasons, The Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros, Star Wars, don’t complain we have our grand castle now my queen. Anyway, my point is sometime long ago, I thought I was bugging you, I was that ant making his way through the bathtub drain (yes baby girl I killed them), perhaps I was the Itsy Bitsy Spider, that’s worse, let’s agree that I had High Hopes.

Twenty seconds my love, to bug you, to roll the Dice, to say Can We Talk, Can I Take You Out Tonight. Yes my playlist can be as addicting as any drug, but you were so intoxicating, yes I’m a little Drunk On You but if I ever fall to my knees, as I pray for “B III” if there is anything up there, anything I need be for you, damn I’m All The Above. Being here with you, seeing, believing, and knowing what those twenty seconds have turned into, from the idea that in this whole universe, somehow I didn’t have to ask Save Room for us there was somehow a place. Even when I’m so down on myself, when I feel like I’m drowning, I always say when it rains it pours, and yes I could break out some I got sunshine on a cloudy day, though I prefer that it’s love that has you Stay With Me or maybe it’s a mix:

I figure maybe I’ve cried enough this week and it’s only Tuesday and you know anything other than a hot shower or bath irks me, I still can’t swim, beaches, pools, and cruises I tolerate, and Baby Shark is everywhere, please Baby It’s Cold Outside. One moment reason we’re here together and “Triple B” isn’t saying my princess is in another castle because my queen you are right here, but once Will And His Pipe-Dreams.

I Will Have No Fear




Rowing Or…

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Am I really going forward, where am I going, and really wherever I’m headed do I truly want to be there at all. Rowing Or…; I’m no longer drowning but I suppose I was less loss when I was still in the water, for down seems so much better than around.

Rowing
Ass backwards
It’s a curse
Not knowing
Yet I’m going
Yes Ma’am, yes Sirs
Why… I’m not sure
I’m thinking of forgoing

Oars
To sink or swim
I don’t know where to begin
But no more
Dreams weighing me down
Slowly let me drown

Copyright © 2011, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.