Tag: Profile

Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

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She’s out of my life, it’s out of my life, and I’m no good with goodbyes, but neither is anyone else sadly. All I know are magicians, manifestations, and mistakes. Is it any wonder I’m into whips, chains, ropes, and fabric. “Willie Gone Diddilly On.”

Saturday, September 19, 2020

Gospel 080 ~Willie Gone Diddilly On~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. This means besides Target and 5-hour ENERGY, add Pinterest to my sickness and rage. Now don’t sound I “presidential” going to war with some company. So like Trump with Tik Tok. Today, I’ll be pretty selfish.

Sure, I could talk about the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, may she rest in peace. There’s also how angry I’m being to with Dæmon since he growled at me yesterday. Hell, I’m still a little perturbed by how rude I was to that internet salesman last Friday at Walmart. At the Day Job, one of the managers told me I can’t go around ignoring people. Today and every other, I’m supposed to be a father. I can’t stay in a rage forever, which is one more reason I’m always exhausted. That and fear, finding out my Pinterest was suspended.

A second time Lady Lu, and there won’t be a third. All of that “work” and like finding out about some girl in the middle of the night. She’s gone. It’s gone, and I’m going to be sick. I don’t know how to speak the feeling. It’s like I’m slamming into the ground, trying to bury myself or find a staircase right into Hell. I need some sleep, but at the same time, I can’t close my eyes. My stomach is empty, and at the same time, I want to puke my guts out. The only way I’ll find them.

I keep going back to the words from my big “sister” as always. “You can’t build a strip club next to a school.” I didn’t do something so heinous, and at the same time, I declare guilt, my many sins. I did finishing reading that W. Anton book yesterday, so shouldn’t I be a man about this? If anything, I should shut-up talking to you and the girls about, well anything. I could lose this blog tomorrow, lose another profile whenever. I haven’t felt this bad since… MILF Dos, the Rainbow Girl, All The Jazz, my last Pinterest, was taken.

How I need to remember how I got over that one. Didn’t I tell you before my aunt said I wanted to destroy the world? I’m not looking to gain the world but to buy back my soul. My soul was before me, then poof. Pictures worth thousands of words all Willie Gone Diddilly On.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

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The end of the week and nothing has changed. So why don’t I go out there and do something? I’ve asked before what am I waking up for, and while I love my Dæmon like pancakes, Yabbos, and um… line, oh yeah, writing. “It’s For The Wills”

Saturday, September 12, 2020

Gospel 073 ~It’s For The Wills~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s it all for? Fear, humiliation, the regrets that come later? It’s not for the cash because I would be published by now. Now Lady Lu, don’t give me that, you don’t write for the money. I have written plenty of stories I know won’t make a dime. My motivations say time and again to find out what you want. Now I know what I don’t want, and given the Law of Attraction, I won’t give them a voice. Still, what have I been doing today? Fixing my profile, a picture, and there’s Yabbos too.

How I deem myself a SADIST, but I’m more a masochist. “I’m just a sucker for pain,” as the song goes. Now I could be having a bout of depression on account of NO FAP, eight days. Yet here I am saying give me more. Am I a better man this week for anything, hm? It’s like finishing NaNoWriMo, I’m waiting for I don’t know what. The money to fall into my lap and dammit, I wish I could stop thinking about sex right now. That’s the thing with an addict; the first week is always the hardest. Oh, pardon my words, my dear Lu. It could be that I was trying to take my mind off “Existence Day.” Yeah, by offering MILF Dos $500 or Cherry €250. No, Bella Thorne, I’d pay for some BBW in the UK. Hell, the closest I’ve gotten to a present is Adam & Eve Bangin’ Betty Stroker Kit.

So pain, addiction, being broke, any more bad emotions I need to exorcise? The fact that I might get verified? How’s that for regret? Well, now I have a place for my language. On the other side, do I need people knowing all my secrets, and these are the worst. Humiliation at the Day Job… I still have some time off, and again am I doing anything to avoid such a fate? If anything Lady Luna, I’m trying to live, and that’s what I’m looking for. A reason to stay alive because I don’t feel it. Writing is life, but once this is all over. Yeah, there it is, the fear of what comes next, shopping, wasting the rest of the day. There are no thrills here, only the horror.

The horror, the horror. As always, It’s For The Wills

I Will Have No Fear