Tag: Youth

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

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The words are still not coming easily but what can I say about myself keeping my brand of self-control but I’m not young anymore and if I had a million dollars, would I be a sugar daddy, a porno director, with a “P.Y.T.?” “A Willingly Lost Innocence”

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be Paris Hilton, Farrah Abraham, or Kim Kardashian, more to the point be the guy that gets to fuck them and have I been trying to be that man lately? I’m the man struggling to stay awake most days, but losing sleep to read erotica, money for MILF tits, and so much time daydreaming about being the man, which is hard to do when you’re working in “older” style bras.

Don’t get me wrong Dirty Diana, I’m all about the moms but besides the three I know and that defining fact you know what it is about them… innocence, I know I’ve talked about this before, but that guiltless nature of theirs. I know it was only yesterday I spoke of leaving the blameless painless, but that doesn’t count in the bedroom; what is it about putting angels through Hell that gets me going? Take my porno MILF, I will call her beautiful, divine, and everything in-between, but on camera, she’s my “little whore” with her “dirty mom tits” she’s a slut and the like. Only there is something about making a holy roller say those things. Oh so willing.

On the other hand, I’ve never appreciated someone who merely accepts those things, it’s like I’m an explorer and I want to dig that out of a girl, I want to discover it, unravel it and then cover it once again in ribbon, lace, chain, and all that is myself. A man of contradiction, for example, I do want to inflict pain, but at the same time I don’t desire a masochist, I want a girl to learn to appreciate it for my sake. Once upon a time, I had this fantasy of fucking an older model and her young apprentice but what guy doesn’t have the two girls fetish for a little while right?

Yeah more like two decades, I either want the forty-year-old or the twenty-year-old, still, as always I’m a greedy bastard and prefer them both which leads me back to my original question of how to make one million, not that I’m looking for a gold digger. If it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that money can talk any man out of prison and nearly any girl into Hell but to meet that one… “True Teen Babes,” Exploited College Girls, guess that answers the old vs. young question though I watch the MILF’s videos but the concept A Willingly Lost Innocence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

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Last week it was voting and the erotica reading group I belong to votes every month, and I’m still trying to catch up and dare I say it write another book, because I don’t burn them, trashed one maybe two. Sin What Will’s Reading.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, stop spending all my money on books, how about my new plan of reading one before I start writing for the day and hell I have four books ready to go so why not get one published. Tonight is for monsters being Halloween and all; perhaps you think I should be talking to Lady Sophia as well between reading and being the eve of NaNoWriMo but let’s focus more on my sins involving books thus far.

My first two experiences with drugs happened by accident, one on Halloween night and the other with a book on Vietnam; I wasn’t “poisoned per se, but while I never got cut by some razor blade or needle in my candy, I got a nice dose of LSD, so why the trust issues? Now the book, which I can’t even remember the title came from me saying “I need to get high,” figure of speech or friend selling me a dime bag of weed and hiding it in my book, I mean I did pay him after all, just saying.

This night makes me feel young a bit. While I was still in school, I often used books to hide because I couldn’t use my Walkman. Seriously what’s my age again but anyway I became quite visible when some stupid bitch threw my copy of “The Amber Spyglass” at another girl, no such thing as Kindle because if there were… God help her. I also discovered the first book I could never finish; I think it was called The Moonstone, added to that list are “Lord of the Flies” and The Bible though I have read through several books including John and Revelation of course.

Being an adult though, and here’s a doozy of a sin, I read “Fifty Shades of Grey” now I’ve always had a taste for BDSM but when I read that book *sigh* it was an awakening for me somewhat, as I began studying BDSM in earnest, and it’s damn well-been erotica ever since. You see my “father” never gave me “The Talk” so my first look at sex was all the Hentai I could print but that doesn’t help in the real world ever, though I made quite a collage.

My sexual experiences were somewhat, subdued because I didn’t understand my cravings, Sadism, Ravishment, I didn’t know about contracts, SSC or RACK so I began studying, here’s the thing though, guys that read period are nerds, the man cave instead of the study or we’re perverted because this stuff is female porn. So Lady Sophia, forgive me for books distracting me, being used as drug mules, for not defending them or giving up and for being both a nerd and creep, but honestly not being prepared for NaNoWriMo tonight because *sigh* Sin What Will’s Reading.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

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I wish happiness were as easy to turn on like everything else in my life, hell like myself in some cases but while I’m avoiding some things, let’s hope a smile will not be my undoing. “Like A Light Switch”

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, yeah like I once loved HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, or those afternoons watching “Toonami” or staying up late to watch *gasp* Adult Swim, such were the days before the Internet for me? If I never told you the story before about how I discovered “Hentai” I got two words for you… “Tenchi Muyo!” and just like that, you may bring on the darkness.

So what exactly is today’s sin, maybe it’s a loss of control, I did something today, and it’s one thing when you sin without forethought but to do so when you have experience and those who don’t learn from history… I suppose I am feeling quite blessed today but I swear to you here and now it will go no further on my part, yeah and every “aficionado” says they’re going to kick and what happens next? Is it fair to call me an addict and to be honest I don’t know why I stopped, though am I seeing any benefit; I might have been smart enough to steer clear.

“Never trust a big butt and smile” Bell Biv Devoe

On the other hand, I found something stronger than terror and forgive me for embracing fear, but it keeps you alive, and I don’t even know why I’m stressing, I was yesterday, and here I am today. What about this, the boldness, the daring, the audacity to call myself a dominant when I can’t do something as simple as making friends and especially at such a fragile time in my life. Disappointing as well as tomorrow you know who is coming by and if nothing happens then I have squandered my opportunity, and I won’t be able to make another move, my hands will be tied; instead of hers right…

“Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.” ― Zombieland (2009)

Aren’t my hands tied already or sleeping like the rest of me because it’s the only way I can find to stop worrying but then again, remember, remember, the fifth of November, almost the same circumstances though I’m not that far gone. Was I practicing self-abstinence then too; if anything I feel somewhat like a kid again when my “adult entertainment” consisted of a binder full of porn and sneaking past library internet safety guidelines.

So will you forgive me Inspector Echo, for the misguided youngster I once was, the stress of youth desired, remembered, and history ignored, my addiction to beautiful women, or calling myself a dominant and my pursuit of the perfect submissive; turned on so casually I’ll say Like A Light Switch?

I Will Have No Fear