Tag: Stress

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

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A “great man” once talked of having balls and his word; I have two years and a few books worth of words but balls; I should try holding on to cash at some point as the song goes if it doesn’t make dollars it makes no cents. “Will’s Having Some Balls”

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Log 045 ~Will’s Having Some Balls~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now and I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger. Not any of them from the cosplayer, to the coworker, or any other cuties. I had a revelation while I was sleeping. It was this afternoon, last night I dreamt all about the Blazkowicz sisters and the Nazis. I’m trying not to have any dirtier thoughts there. Anyway this afternoon I thought about why I’m always attracted to the broken. The bad stories still get me going as well. Not to mention bouncing asses; damn, I should have read my book today.

To this day, sites like “Street Blowjobs,” “Pure Taboo,” “Casting Couch HD, I could go on. The thing is the whole industry appears solely on a premise of brokenness. Now I know that’s not true always. What I mean is people need money. Pure Taboo tells great stories. I’m not ashamed to say I dream I could write like that Dirty Diana. Whitney Wright said a man needs a lot of money to get into the industry. There’s also moving, and of course, you’ve seen my plans. So perhaps my ability to see the broken is more a blessing than a curse. You know I hate showing my brokenness but how else to see it in others. Some dominants start from knowing submission. The “School of Bondage” is an example. From a broken home, a shattered kid breaks pretty girls.

It’s weird how everything in my world comes together. At the Day Job, the second song I listened to (started with Tillie Cole’s Playlist.) Yes, I’ll get back to her book but the second song I added was Venom Rap (We Are Venom). “I know you have anger. Now you need presence!” Dirty Diana if that doesn’t describe me some days. Please don’t make me out to be Trump, never properly explaining myself. Money is a presence. While I’m on the subject, I spoke to Alice Little yesterday. I’m not headed out Nevada way this September, and why is that? I’m broke, busted, and full of bullshit. She was kind about it, though she found other plans pretty fast. What about me, I had a year to make a million and where has it all gone? Boobs, Butts, but B is still my greatest love.

If only his best friend were better. I’ll find one day Will’s Having Some Balls.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 038 ~Will Has Stress Balls~

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Where is my fidget cube when I need it and other than the shower my kid gives me no private time and unfortunately I can carry my phone into the bathroom, and last night I got a good night’s sleep for one reason? Will Has Stress Balls.

Thursday, August 8, 2019

Log 038 ~Will Has Stress Balls~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now but also a CREEP. Mind your tongue; I’m not a stalker, Mr. Trump, or any other type of criminal. I’m a dominant, a sadist, and someone who doesn’t handle stress well. Last night was the perfect example, skeevy as the “Basic Bitch” would say. Hell, I didn’t go to bed because I was satisfied. I was hoping I finally scared myself to death. The reason; Facebook and accidentally clicking on a picture from a year ago. Pretty girls have blocked me for less; words, Pokemon.

I’m in a lovey-dovey mood and not a sexual one, which leads me to Alita: Battle Angel. “I’ll give you my heart,” I’ll add that to the things a girl could say to me. Don’t worry, we’ll get to breasts but to have a girl’s heart. A woman’s I should say WHAT’S MY AGE AGAIN? Why the 90’s early 2000’s kick; music was better, huh? I like girls that have brains. Don’t I always say every Saturday, two to three hours of nuclear pop? It’s also a requisite she loves reading and decent movies. I was telling “Indiana Gone” that the other day. It’s not like I’m a genius, but hell the real shape of a heart. Didn’t I say I was a creep or creepy? Anyway, she must love my little ball of fluff, my son, you know. If dogs could talk not that he cares what I look up or click on: Thumbs.

Yeah, those and my fingers that had me staring at dirty titties last night. Well, that’s how it started, and then I was clicking, my mistake. Once again, I’m a slave to my phone. I’ll always be a boob guy Dirty Diana. A few hours ago it was all boobs, now to a girl with no boobs. Before my indiscretion, I was all about ass. Yesterday I said I can’t look people in the face. I know some great asses, though, two in particular. Well, three if you count the shower and please don’t. Last but not least, got the nub, got the nub; I’ll quit with the songs at some point. Pleasing women, once I get them in bed is the ultimate goal. I have no idea what I’m doing every day I’ll admit.

Such is my stress, and I lost my fidget cube, but Will Has Stress Balls.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

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While I never thought about being a wrestler, there was a time I was a big fan, and a part of me still is apparently, but I need more than a picture and more than a thousand words on most days. Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions, distracting.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to keep liking brunettes, girls with dark hair or crazy bright: Bayley, AJ Lee, Paige, Ronda Rousey, Askua, please stop me before I get into another porn downloading session. Don’t worry I’m still practicing No Fap, Day 117 and counting but it’s hard, it’s stressful, and considering how pissed I’ve been at “people” lately no wonder a girl like Alexa Bliss has caught my eye for the time being; what do they say, blondes have more fun.

Don’t remember the last time that I had fun, being on my back most days which only continues to push me towards the likes of Alexa and I can’t say I usually have a thing for athletic girls, but that’s because I hate most sports and wrestling doesn’t have cheerleaders. Why do I watch some of the Olympics again… though it isn’t cool to think about those Olympians like that with all the scandal only in this day and age it isn’t okay to think of most women like that unless you’re rich, a fellow victim or a convict. Hair color does not make the woman but since high school, I’ve had a type, and I’m starting to think I chose wrong, don’t judge girls by the color of their roots because in the end as the song goes… we’re all the same color when you turn out the lights.

“We’re all the same color when you turn out the lights” Fredro Starr, True Colors

What about words though Dirty Diana, I’m still working on “Apocalypse Rush” (Working Title) and already we’ve had gangbangs, kidnappings, and blood galore, but which do you think will bother people more, words like “cum dumpster,” interracial sex, or redrum? How about the Man In The Mirror, I’m no cover boy, no pin-up, and sadly the content of my novel doesn’t bother me. Instead, it’s the quality and how about the fact I have so many unpublished stories already. I would show you an excerpt, but character names need some alterations, you know inspiration, Angie Griffin, Alexa Bliss, the age-old question of blonde or brunette or redheads “courtwithconfidence” just saying.

I could name more but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words and truth be told I need around fifteen hundred for my novel today, so this evening hopefully I’ll be facing black and white aplenty and not Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 333 ~The Stench Of Defeat~

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Can you smell what the Will is cooking, despite one good endorsement everything else around here stinks to high Heaven, or maybe that’s me, working too hard or scared of looking like I’m hardly working? “The Stench Of Defeat”

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Lesson 333 ~The Stench Of Defeat~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, even when I can’t smell what The Rock is cooking, maybe when all there is to breathe is more shrimp or microwave dinners. I’ve never thought to turn the oven on since being here. How about the stress sweat but I’m too lazy to go looking for the commercial, I should probably go and take a shower if I wasn’t nearly drowning already with so many waves.

What about so many smells; it took me forever to get out of the scent of gummy bears I ripped into after work; my cooking range is limited enough, but today, I’ve only had barbecue chips and candy. Speaking of limited time, how about all that time spent tagging clothes at work today, when everybody looks at you as a failure, when you try to help a coworker, and you overstay your welcome, not to mention good ole S.A.D. It doesn’t help matters any that as hot as it is, I’m wearing my security blanket, my hoody for most of the day, you know right?

Cleanliness is next to godliness they say, but I’m just a man, and if anything, men do stupid things, I got a bit into “Manscaping” all because of women, and at this rate, it doesn’t matter, to be honest. Hell Inspector Echo how long did I go without a shower during all my days of writing oh yeah and spoiling myself watching a walkthrough of “Detroit: Become Human,” I’m addicted, but that’s only making me work harder on my writing isn’t it? Yes, that’s what I’m doing, I’m spoiling because if you’re not living you’re dying and either way it goes all I want to do is cover myself in something dirty and some green.

Preferably I would instead go with cremation but when it comes to dirt, the muck and the mire, something that straight up stinks, it’s the ideas that come into my mind, and that’s not stopping anytime soon. What about the elephant in the room, I’m the shit, or I should believe that because this is the only way anything is going to get done; with as messy as I am now all I want to do is sleep in my cool “clean” bed just saying.

I’m sorry Inspector Echo, will you forgive me for stinking up the joint, for being too hot under the collar and in my pants, for neglecting myself in this and for the dirty mind that keeps me sane, ooh that smell The Stench Of Defeat.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

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I wish happiness were as easy to turn on like everything else in my life, hell like myself in some cases but while I’m avoiding some things, let’s hope a smile will not be my undoing. “Like A Light Switch”

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lesson 312 ~Like A Light Switch~

Forgive Me Echo,
Can You Love Me Again, yeah like I once loved HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, or those afternoons watching “Toonami” or staying up late to watch *gasp* Adult Swim, such were the days before the Internet for me? If I never told you the story before about how I discovered “Hentai” I got two words for you… “Tenchi Muyo!” and just like that, you may bring on the darkness.

So what exactly is today’s sin, maybe it’s a loss of control, I did something today, and it’s one thing when you sin without forethought but to do so when you have experience and those who don’t learn from history… I suppose I am feeling quite blessed today but I swear to you here and now it will go no further on my part, yeah and every “aficionado” says they’re going to kick and what happens next? Is it fair to call me an addict and to be honest I don’t know why I stopped, though am I seeing any benefit; I might have been smart enough to steer clear.

“Never trust a big butt and smile” Bell Biv Devoe

On the other hand, I found something stronger than terror and forgive me for embracing fear, but it keeps you alive, and I don’t even know why I’m stressing, I was yesterday, and here I am today. What about this, the boldness, the daring, the audacity to call myself a dominant when I can’t do something as simple as making friends and especially at such a fragile time in my life. Disappointing as well as tomorrow you know who is coming by and if nothing happens then I have squandered my opportunity, and I won’t be able to make another move, my hands will be tied; instead of hers right…

“Rule number 32: Enjoy the little things.” ― Zombieland (2009)

Aren’t my hands tied already or sleeping like the rest of me because it’s the only way I can find to stop worrying but then again, remember, remember, the fifth of November, almost the same circumstances though I’m not that far gone. Was I practicing self-abstinence then too; if anything I feel somewhat like a kid again when my “adult entertainment” consisted of a binder full of porn and sneaking past library internet safety guidelines.

So will you forgive me Inspector Echo, for the misguided youngster I once was, the stress of youth desired, remembered, and history ignored, my addiction to beautiful women, or calling myself a dominant and my pursuit of the perfect submissive; turned on so casually I’ll say Like A Light Switch?

I Will Have No Fear