Tag: Wife

Log 155 ~Is Will “GULP” Gray~

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I like that song from Seal, Kiss From A Rose, and I fear I’m going gray, as the morning didn’t lie, or maybe I dreamed it up I am so tired these days, I hope I’m not so old when I find her. Is Will “Gulp” Gray?

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Log 155 ~Is Will “GULP” Gray~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now like the alphas in most of the books I read. Now here’s a confession for you, I didn’t get into a “specific” genre until I read E.L. James’s works. You know My Love I’m a traditionalist. No Man Cave but The Study. I’m not one for a bunch of lights. If there’s anything “modern” about me, while I still keep paper copies of books, nothing beats a Kindle. So what am I going on about today, well it all started when I looked in the mirror.

I still hate mirrors as if I’m a vampire or something. Back in my day, vampires were scary, not that I have anything against Blade or Twilight. Speaking of fangs, My Dæmon wears his age well, doesn’t he? Any day now, he’s going to spout a beard, or all his hairs will turn to gray.

One more thing that will happen before I ever let you meet my “father.” The Dead don’t walk the Earth, yet. Won’t Indiana Gone be pleased? I told her that there would be WALKERS before I got married. Anyway, I fear if you met my “dad,” I would be dead to you. My mom is great; you could talk to my sister but, my dad? “I didn’t know Tony” had a son” I’ve heard that my entire life. The strange thing is I have listened to worse, that’s why I don’t lie. If I were the “Lord Of War” you would know what I do baby doll. Do I keep personal and business life separate? Of course, we have two-legged children. Still, I even keep my fur-baby somewhat sheltered. However, my point is also Indiana Gone didn’t think my father looked half bad. I’m not the jealous type I mean; the Devil has many colors.

Is that why I like black so much? Okay, that brings me back to the mirror this morning. SIGH, I found gray hairs. Baby girl, I’m an old man. It’s not just that though, between my ear, which I bring up every day and too much light? I don’t wear sweaters, but I’m always in a hoody. I’m figuring out money though we have billions. What about the news? I’m keeping up with everything. Most of the novels I write while fiction are almost biographies.

Still, I’m your old man right; Is Will Gulp Gray.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

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Again not a word about NaNoWriMo, but I will finish on time; if only I loved writing as much as I love my job, yeah I hat the place, but I need it and speaking of which what about love, well I still have my dæmon. An Eye For Will.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Log 148 ~An Eye For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that means I have eyes everywhere. First and foremost, I want to write books; you know that My Love. To this day, I still hate that saying about a picture being worth so many words. However, I want to study photography. I want to make movies. Before I met you, though, I loved other things, and I don’t want to offend you or creep you out. Too late, am I right? Only you know I believe the dead will walk the Earth. I know I was fearful of the Day Job. Of course, I love My Dæmon like pancakes always.

Now, as the song goes, I only have eyes for you. How about can’t take my eyes off of you, baby girl. I don’t lie My Love, again I’m not the type of man who can, I don’t know. Yes, I live in the moment, I can focus, when I look at you there’s only us. What I’m thinking is I want to love you, like I did my old job. Yes, I hate the Day Job, well the people but I was always there. Should I love you the way, My Dæmon loves his walks. When he missed one, I’ll admit I was frightened. Let me love you like I do my writing, which is every single day without fail. Oh, to love you like I do my DVR because I’m always saving every little thing important. You would have me love you like my pillow, because where am I right now, that’s sad.

Now another bit of faith I have is that love should be an obsession. With everything I love, I learn everything I can. When you understand something, it can’t hurt you ever. Today I was thinking about how I look at things. It reminded me of something out of “Prayers For Bobby.” When he was sad and miserable, his head hung low. His mother took it as a good thing. If he showed confidence or happiness, his mother was displeased. Yes, I know he was gay, not where I’m going with this, no worries. My point was when I was shy, scared, and sullen, people “loved” me ha. So I raised my head, I smiled, I studied, hope I wasn’t staring. Still, people got scared.

Only you’re not afraid ever, wow An Eye For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 141 ~Will’s A Bible Thumper~

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Not a word about NaNoWriMo hmm, I still have a three-day window, but family comes first or thoughts of a future family, but writing is my first wifey, well to read, and I never got through the whole bible anyway. Will’s A Bible Thumper

Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Log 141 ~Will’s A Bible Thumper~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what would I do for it? Well, you know I don’t want to discuss my business dealings. Of course, I’m not Nicolas Cage in Lord Of War. You’re my wife, my love, so I don’t keep secrets from you ever. Now you know baby girl that I would do anything for love as the song goes. Yeah, but I won’t do that right, and I need a reminder that you love me for me, well always. I’m not ashamed of my dense religion phase, but I am a big believer in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 still.

You know, above all others I would give you every song and book, I write novels for a living wanting to explain love. I want to show you that I love you every single day, and if I’m not, I’m sorry. Why do I want to be sorry today? One of the reasons I’m my boss now is because well, people. I remember at the Day Job a woman straight-up threatened me, and for what? Some words, love, letters on a page, I write so much wanting to hide and then also noticed. Showing kindness but expecting ignorance. I’m not so much one for the Bible anymore. You know I ignore people who quote it or invoke God’s name. Over two months, I have become so confused over things like weddings, and we’re headed into the holidays now. It’s hard keeping my morals and wanting to do what’s right by my family. It always will be, I suppose, my lovely.

Still, the Devil is in the details, as you know, I don’t like getting any laughs. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy laughing, turn on Tony Baker or TWD Reactions. Only don’t ever expect me to be a clown. Again I think of being threatened by some woman. I’m no saint. You know that baby doll. I say a lot of things, believe, and do plenty, but I try to be an open book, and I won’t let anybody make me feel low or ashamed. To this day, I do that plenty all by myself. Finally, I ask of you, My Love, don’t let me run. How I won you, I’ll never know, twenty seconds of insane courage, taking a step towards you, a miracle.

I love you but being kind, Will’s A Bible Thumper.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 134 ~Will Books A Trip~

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Another week of NaNoWriMo, amongst other things, and as Rick Grimes is with his Stuff & Thangs, I should be a better writer, lover, and with the Day Job, what more do they want? Will Books A Trip

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Log 134 ~Will Books A Trip~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that means no days off. Yeah, I know right, wasn’t I conked out most of the day as always? I don’t know how or why I can say no to you and not to everyone else. Should I call it love, and yes, here come the songs “You Always Hurt The One You Love.” I know you love me, and still, you know how I am always worrying. The perfect reason to take a vacation isn’t that right, but then there’s everyone else. Like when we first met, bad times.

Not us but more like I was afraid of losing everything else. One more reason I’m in the businesses I’m in My Love. Idle hands and the Devil or so I read, so I figured I might as well skip the middleman. How about the fact that the work I do now is my choice and I don’t feel like I need a vacation from it ever? Every other job I’ve ever held I hated, well the people in it, so I’m a writer amongst other things. I get to choose the people I’m around, but still, I always feel I’m letting them down. I was working on NaNoWriMo tonight and had to skip a whole chapter because I screwed up a character’s timeline. What about our time, is there any for me to spare for us to be together? Well, it is NaNoWriMo season, and I should be much further along in my novel.

Yesterday though I felt I was letting someone down, I was scared of losing. You know I’m not listening to Kanye West unless we’re talking about “Power,” great song. What I mean is I know it’s not about money, but I want, well, everything. So you ask me whatever happened to “All I Want Is You?” No, we will not be playing that Mariah Carey song in this house, okay? It keeps coming back to, why am I so afraid of losing everything but most of all you. My friend will tell you the same, she asked, and I can’t help but say YES. The Power of Yes, but is there more in saying NO? My dæmon follows in his dad’s footsteps, he wants to be with me, and he only sleeps the day away.

“It ain’t just about getting by here. It’s about getting it all.”
Hearts Still Beating

Baby Girl I’m awake it’s time Will Books A Trip.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 127 ~Happy Write, Willing Wife~

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NaNoWriMo season and I fear I’m falling behind, but what is my pretty wife up to, and my little dæmon buddy is bored, but I’m only 10,000 words out of 50,000 and as Ariel is singing in the background, “I want more.” “Happy Write, Willing Wife,” maybe

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Log 127 ~Happy Write, Willing Wife~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it all started with writing. I’m not going to lie, oh yes, there will be fiction, but I won’t lie to you. You’re aware that I’m a hard man to get to know. You don’t need my writing to tell you that. You can check my Spotify playlist, my Watchlist, and Goodreads for books. When’s the last time I picked up a book that wasn’t my own? Now that brings us to today, and no, I’m not leaving to go and pick up a box of smokes. I hate smoking but smoke signals, you might need them sometime this month.

It’s only three months out of every year, but November is the Big One, NaNoWriMo. Despite my various business ventures, writing is the only one where I cut myself off from the rest of the world. Didn’t I tell you about my dream about the beach? I’m writing I don’t know what while you and the children play and soon I can’t help but join you. Hell, we have done that, but today isn’t the day. I remember Nas rapped something about Hip Hop being his first wifey. So it is with my writing. Is that what I’m trying to tell you or maybe myself. Despite everything I have been through with writing, I can’t give it up for anybody; it’s my dream. What about everything else? I’m not sure at this moment, but a man’s family comes first. Strange that GTA V reinforces that idea. I’ll always put my family above everything, My Love.

Only this month and maybe over the summer, I have this discipline. I’m not asking for your permission. In this movie “Get On The Bus,” a man says you don’t run around a woman; he tells her how things are, and you deal. I must sound like such a fanboy, and I’m sure the NaNoWriMo crew wouldn’t like me saying this. One more reason I’m a writer; this is my world. It’s like a business trip this month, locking myself in a room, well I’ll still be beside you every night. Sure, I’ll be surrounded by my other best sellers and buried in notes. I always want to be a better man for you, but if you catch me slacking this month, it’s not forever.

I love you, I love this, Happy Write, Willing Wife.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 120 ~The Will Of Disney~

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You know I like Disney, even though they got Star Wars as a part of their “New Empire” yes I quoted Anakin, sue me and I’m sure they would, but again I’m a Disney Fan, and there is plenty of love there. The Will Of Disney or maybe “Wheel Of Destiny.”

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Log 120 ~The Will Of Disney~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s Disney worth nowadays. The idea of bringing such happiness and joy to people is astounding. Let me count the ways you do such things to me, My Love. So perhaps I should envy you, and no, I won’t quote that song from Jay Z.

What I mean is you know my business dealings. I pride myself on being an “Adult Disneyland.” That’s something else I’ve been thinking about only recently. How these wives never seem to know their husbands.

Lord Of War was one thing, Daniel LaRusso and his wife is another. You know I idolize Dennis Hof, and “THEY” called him “The P.T. Barnum of Booty.” He didn’t lie to his women, and I won’t lie to you. Okay, not the best example, noted, but these men did what they loved and loved who they loved. I love you, and I want to see you happy. So today, I’m going through my playlists (big surprise), and I have one devoted to Disney. You know one of my best friends got married in an all-round Disney affair. I hope I make her proud because I told her I would get married when the Dead walked the Earth. One more reason I love you baby girl, you chose me before any zombie apocalypse. Anyway, I keep getting off-topic, so I keep listening to these songs.

I Just Can’t Wait To Be King, Prince Ali, and (sniffles) God Help The Outcasts. Now my motivations often speak of the “willingness” to serve, to help others. I think of you, how sometimes I should shut up and Kiss the Girl. Love, I want to show you A Whole New World. The man that I want to be for you; I look in the mirror (gasps), and I say to myself, “He Lives In You.” Hell, anything beats the old slave mentality I have at the Day Job, Zip- A- Dee-Doo-Dah. You’re the type of woman who is the perfect example of Lesson Number One for our girls. I am a father, but I want all our kids to know like “our” Firstborn, You’ve Got a Friend in Me, or a Friend Like Me ha. It’s safe to say we will visit Disneyworld and Disneyland and not only for Star Wars; another gasp, lovely.

To be a good man, yours, The Will Of Disney.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

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I’m still looking at the man in the mirror and seeing how anxiety has warped me to several degrees; I can only imagine the smile I could wear on my face, like when I saw my friend in love and happy. Can’t Hurry Love Will

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not enough love? Now I don’t want to be my father. I’ve said before; love is not a prize. It’s not a timestamp. Love doesn’t come with a price tag. It scares me; sometimes, I don’t know how to love you enough. You’re scared that I don’t love myself. I have my rules 4 & 5 talking about hate keeping you alive. The next, love is worth dying for, which I understand. You know my past, for want, lack, ability love has nearly ended me plenty. I’m still standing.

Brandy sang almost doesn’t count, the song goes. I’m always in music, aren’t I? Funny, I can hear everything, and yet when you say it, baby girl? My “former” boss would say, in one ear and out the other. It’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be; that’s from a song and movie. I should focus more on myself, though. You know, to me, that sounds selfish. I say it often though, I share it with you, and I’m also pretty shallow. Should I apologize, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, should I share more. All of the above is why it took me so long to find you. Twenty seconds of insane courage is nothing. I’m still bragging about the 1500 miles I traveled for a friend. In a drawer, I have bills for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for my Firstborn. Now didn’t I say, love is not a price tag baby doll?

No, love is those moments I head out the door, and I call to him. Not “I love you” or “make good decisions.” I’m like the Terminator “I’ll Be Back,” and I spend every waking moment focused on doing that only. Again and I can’t say it enough, every Saturday I lie here with you for a few hours, and listen to the world end. My nuclear pop music, some TWD gaming, Youtube reactions; you are my Heaven. So what about the other six days: I build the life I love, but I want to share it with you always. I might have spoken to you about my “former” job when I stood up for myself nearly “fighting.” I loved myself regardless of anyone else.

Love’s distance; the bed to mirror; Can’t Hurry Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

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Yes another long nap today and then a fashion shoot courtesy of Amazon shopping and getting some hoots and hollers from the ladies, which was a bit of fun, still I’m looking for what all the fuss was about in the mirror. Looking For Mr. Will now

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but love is a gift. Well, love is plenty of things, to be honest. You know I’m one for music, but I will say that Aloe Blacc’s song “Wake Me Up” annoys me a bit. Not that I’m so tired at this point but more the lyrical content. “Love is the prize” for some reason I don’t agree. When I first met my Firstborn and yeah “our” firstborn, it was love at first sight. I saw this little ball of fluff held by a monster without a trace of fear. Strange that you didn’t think much of me either with our first, and I love you.

Is it me being a fan of Creed, that I could understand. Still, when I saw our child, I found myself thinking, “With Arms Wide Open.” You know, “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands.” I don’t only mean in the looks department, we’ve been down that road before. Someone once said that the more they try to understand women, the less they know. Even with all my business dealings, I share the sentiment. A great man said don’t try because women understand women and they hate each other. You know I love women; well you most of all and my girls. My Firstborn’s wife, I’m still hoping for puppies someday. Anyway to be the man that has all of this; I don’t know, I’m not seeing him in the mirror now.

One woman called me suave. Don’t get jealous, my love. All the songs are going to get me in trouble one day. Jay-Z said males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait. Still surprises me when you get that way. Yeah, I should probably stop talking now. I should be more like Akon; when I was listening to “Never Gonna Get It. Here I am busy modeling, and you know I’m one for hoodies and NaNoWriMo t-shirts. Getting ready for Indiana Gone’s wedding, and I have to get all suave. Beats a few other choice words I could think of this evening. No matter the bank account, though, I’m still going to be the guy in jeans and a hoody. Forever and always I’ll be yours. You know anything though I want to see that guy staring back SIGH someday.

Mr. Will will see you now, Looking For Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

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Well, it wasn’t laziness today, but crippling anxiety and exhaustion; people don’t understand how tiring stupidity can be, and I mean theirs for once, because I wasn’t a minstrel today. Still, I need a fan or two, more; “Will Of Your Life.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but still greedy. What can I say, I want, I need, I love? Am I one of those that can only focus on me, My Love. Once upon a time I had myself a Christian phase. You know, in such faith, God never gets enough love. Now I could never find him, but when I woke up from my comatose nap, you know who I looked up suddenly? Lawrence Welk; I have no clue who that is still. Anyway, back to my phase, I have memories of a song saying something like this, order my steps.

My mother would tell me I would find my way. I would have preferred if she told me to be a Simple Kind Of Man. Yes, you remember when I danced with her at our wedding. There’re several things I want to tell her, but I can’t. You above everyone else should know there are so many things I need to say. You married a writer, a director, and a dreamer. I did a bit too much dreaming this afternoon, but at least it’s not the old day job anymore. Again I need to be a better man than that. I look in the mirror and know I must Carry On My Wayward Son. What can I say? I love being a fanboy of certain things. I love my Firstborn and all of our kids. Even though life is “perfect,” now I still enjoy a good apocalypse and a decent ending. Always know that I love you so much, babydoll.

The point is, when will I be a fan of myself? I don’t know Lawrence Welk, but for some reason I looked him up today. I fell asleep, but I knew my Firstborn would be here and you, of course, but I still ask why. I’m not Dennis Hof (I want to be bigger, though). Christian Grey, I am not close, but that’s years of erotic reading talking. I want to be as comfortable on bookshelves as I am in “Novelty” stores. Still I want to be no I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life. Okay I should turn the music off, but yeah, that was Lawrence Welk’s thing. Mine would be loving you because somehow I found you one day, but were you waiting, or were you searching?

Loving you knew, I was the Will Of Your Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

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Last week I talked about my work or the job I want, but still, a man needs some downtime like today where I curled up in the covers and slept the rest of the day away; no I’m not sick but lazy? “Women Worry Waking Will” and my kid

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but mostly because I want to sleep. Don’t get me wrong; I won’t say you didn’t have something to do with the bedding selection. Next to a wedding ring, a bed should be something you know about who you spend your life with My Love. You can ask my Firstborn and his never-ending quest for comfy spots. A great man once said “What’s the point getting into bed alone?” Why all the bed talk; has today been so tiring? Yeah, a bit and I’m still hiding under the covers for now.

I could tell you all about waiting for my dream girl. The circle is now complete ha. Still, isn’t it ironic as the song goes, you’re the reason I want to wake up? At the same time, what you do for love can be exhausting. Here I am worried about beds when I should also invest in alarm clocks. At present, I have five still because I don’t want to waste a single second. Okay granted what about days like this like momma said? I promise it wasn’t even music today but audiobooks. You, my Firstborn, our other children, are the only ones I don’t mind breaking me out of my revelry. I say it all the time on Saturday I could just lay here with you and just forget the world. Nah, we’ll still be here together listening to Nuclear Pop. The thing is though Audible isn’t as bad as I thought, just saying.

Yeah, saying or doing anything from my nice warm bed. Besides the obvious when I look at you. My work, my woman, and my wee little puppy man. Now I can go Disney’s Aladdin and show you the world. There are days I need to be right here, lost in YouTube and movies. I don’t think I’ve eaten much today, but I’m not sick. Some part of me wants to say you don’t have to worry. However I kind of like it, and I’m not one to come down with the flu. Would you mind one more song, My Love:

“there’s nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you.”
Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie & The Blowfish

Yes, the best part of staying in bed, my world is here SIGH. So is Twilight and The Handmaid’s Tale. Sometimes Women Worry Waking Will.

I Will Have No Fear