Tag: Future Wife

Gospel 153 ~Will Love Every Day~

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Smile every day, laugh every day, and if you ever hear me say eat, pray, love or talk about reading that book, punch me in the face. The only thing I wanted to love today was my bed, but I have my Dæmon, and I have to keep living. Will Love Every Day

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Gospel 153 ~Will Love Every Day~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even if I wasn’t AHEM, “I will still love you.” That’s the only thing that will never change. To be honest, I spent most of today thinking it was Monday. It’s the first day since the end of NaNoWriMo, and I figured we should do something special. Instead, I’ve been adulting and “celebrating…” Uh yeah.

Yeah, is that what I call it buying another NaNoWriMo T-Shirt? So it turns out they were right. I have shirts from 2019, 2018, 2017. 2020 means four victories. How long have we’ve been married, My Love? A loaded question.

As I said, I’ve been handling business. I set up an appointment for my Dæmon at the groomers. Talk about my priorities as a father and a husband, hell as a creator. I owe him an apology as I look at his nails and his mouth. Did I ever tell you I love wearing masks? I remember saying that I love my work creating, and I don’t mean the old Day Job. God knows I’m glad that NaNoWriMo is over, meaning I might get a decent night’s sleep. It’s still early evening. Last month I gave everything I am to my novel and barely made it through. But like that song Muzik by Knoc-Turn’al, my work, my world, my wifey. Some men so much better than I talk about what a man needs, food, sex, and silence. How about sports, music, food, and ladies. If you can name the two black men who said it…

I’m still listening to a few old white men SIGH R.I.P. Sean Connery. Anyway, he said, as King Arthur that “I can’t love people in slices.” So what is it? Am I trying to say? That I love you, I love us, I love every day, here and now, always and forever, yes my phone again. It’s only that some days are better to love than others. Some people need more of me than others sometimes. Inky Johnson said something like he deserves to give people the best version of him. It’s like John Legend’s All of Me. Anita’s, Giving You The Best That I Got. Am I saying my love is like some movie or music? Shall I start to be your Romeo and swear on the moon or compare thee to summer’s day?

The point is I’m here and Will Love Every Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

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Tell me I didn’t say that, write that, or even choose to think. You see why I spend so much time sleeping or living vicariously through others. As the song ask, would you lie with me and just forget the world? “To Be Silently Willing.”

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but must I tell everyone? There was a time I played PCH for hours. Time better spent reading, writing, and “Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful.” Now was that a little too much? Is that somewhat an insult within honesty? Can’t I just say right now, My Love, I’m tired. I didn’t sleep much last night after working on the novel late. So yes, I’ll say STUPID things (cringes) from time to time. I suppose that music won’t be my salvation. Minnie Riperton’s musical stylings?

It’s one of the reasons I love how you’re a reader like me. It’s why I buy books for our kids all the time. I’m sure the Dæmon doesn’t mind, old man these days. I value your mind, and when we say something. Not sounding like the President but zero responsibility. Though, I’m not tossing away the music. Have I told you about the time I regret not dancing with my friend at her wedding? You know I can name hundreds if not thousands of songs, Not one got me to move on the dancefloor because I was afraid SIGH. Indeed, I’ve told you my dirty little secret of actually enjoying the plague era. I’m going to miss wearing masks. Now with all of the stuff that comes out of my mouth, still facing the man in the mirror. That’s the hardest thing to do. Name something that masks prevent?

Kissing You? At this rate, I’m going to have a whole new playlist now, including Des’ree. For the record “I’ll Always Love My Mama,” and I’ve worked for a few black women I can’t stand. Anyway, kissing you is an excellent way to shut me up with everything in life. Also, my Dæmon and I like to eat. I’m not one for the holidays, but on Thanksgiving, my Mom cooks. Hell, I even have memories of E-Day steak and baked potato. Anything that keeps my mouth shut and makes me want to see the world one more day, My Love. Listen, I’m not saying I don’t get loud, but there are days like today that I can’t say anything right. I want to be like Elton John, John Legend, Bruno Mars, the guy from W.I.T.C.H. and write you a song.

Worked out well. But silence is my kindness, or “Les Fleurs.” To Be Silently Willing

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 139 ~Will Wants To Lie~

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The more things change, the more they stay the same, let’s see, tired at 2AM. Not being the hero but rather humiliated all-day. A sleepy puppy, check. Where is his mom again? Hopefully watching another Walking Dead spinoff. Will Wants To Lie

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Gospel 139 ~Will Wants To Lie~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I’m a damn good liar now. Only I’m not the “Lord of War.” With the businesses I’m running, I’m never going to lie to you about that. Only I want to lie like some kid saying I’m not sleepy, but it’s after midnight. You won’t ever have to worry about lipstick on my collar unless you put it there. I’ve been in the study writing. I want to lie and say things are going well. But besides lying to NaNoWriMo about reaching my quota… I did after midnight. It wasn’t a good day.

I want to lie and say it was, though. I don’t like making people feel down on themselves. Yet with what I did then and now, it happens. Inigo Montoya puts it best with “Humiliations Galore.” That’s what happened all of today, and it sucks. Exhaustion comes fastest when you’re trying to forget everything. And I want to lie rather than tell you the story. At this rate, it’s even too late now. I want to lie and say I’m not to blame for everything, but when has that gone well for a man ever? Yeah, I messed up, ha.

Speaking of messing up and naps, when the kids lie down to sleep, I want to read them stories. You never know, maybe when they grow up, they won’t need to play Detroit: Become Human or Far Cry 5 in their heads. They lie happily.

I know that’s a curious way to put things, but I want to lie like my Dæmon. He cuddles up to my side, and there is no place else he rather be. Ok, I know this STUPID to compare you to my fur-baby but do you feel that way. Just lie here, forgetting the world. I want to lie like those men that know what to say to their wives. At the same time, I want you to be so “passionate” that I end up sleeping on the couch. There is are so much stuff that I haven’t experienced. However, having someone lie to me because they love me. Aren’t we always watching The Walking Dead series? To be more specific, The Walking Dead World Beyond. I don’t want to lie like Meat Loaf with Paradise By The Dashboard Light.

What time is it again, Love? Will Wants To Lie.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 132 ~Will Love Ever Tire~

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I’m a tired black man; that’s all I can say about today. Only it’s not like I’m a hero or anything. I’m the father of a furbaby. How I envy him and all his nap time today. I want to find him a mom, but tonight, I want to sleep. “Will Love Ever Tire?”

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Gospel 132 ~Will Love Ever Tire~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that make me a modern-day “superhero” hmm. First off, HELL NO, and second, you know I’ve always been one for the villains. When Iron Man and Captain America had their Civil War, you would think I’d back Tony Stark. Again no, I was all Steve Rogers. The thing is, they both never stopped trying for those they love. God, the songs popping into my head now… “Well, I won’t give up on us.” “Only a man in a funny red sheet. Looking for special things inside of me,” etc.

Now it could be the book I’m reading about Ian and Alaria. I’m still on the fourth one but the things he goes through with her. She became a robot. A man shouldn’t have to ask to be a man. Everything else they fight about with him trying to set things right in the world. Maybe it’s the idea that I hate secrets like Zorro and Elena with everything that happened between them. You don’t know how tricky it is to keep your mouth shut. Okay, I’ll rewind that, I mean to say, keeping myself from saying something incredibly stupid. I’ve been writing my book (yeah, right), and I have Bastian and Evie fighting. It’s all about the man Bastian is with his father and how he came to be. Indeed, what she is becoming to stay with her family.

Bruce Wayne spent his days alone even when he had Wonder Woman, all because of fear. He has plenty of enemies, sure. Only do you not think seeing his parents die together affected him. Well other than going all Batman? His views on relationships, yep. Superman didn’t get tired of Lois Lane but being himself. How about if he didn’t have the whole, truth, justice, American Way. Clark Kent didn’t have to save the world. Now yes, he had to go back to that indeed because what else was there for him? In the end? Of course, I have to cover the villains or close enough—the things Bill did to Beatrix. Edmond Dantes gave into everything to forget about Mercedes in his quest for revenge. V gave Evey choices, as in V For Vendetta.

I’m saying, I’m tired, but in love, always and forever. “Oh, baby I love you, just leave me the fuck alone.” Will Love Ever Tire.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 125 ~A Vote For Will~

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I love cash, the cohort of my son and me, and my country, and that’s what I voted for today because if Trump wins… I might get my Walking Dead wish, after all. Anyway, what woman would choose to watch that with me besides my BFF? A Vote For Will

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Gospel 125 ~A Vote For Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even with all this, as the song goes, I believe that love is the answer. I told people after meeting you, AHEM, “then I saw her face, now I’m a believer. You’ve heard me say, yes, I believe in you and me. Thanks, Whitney Houston. Such are my choices, decisions, my vote. Hell, you’ve heard me with My Dæmon. When I leave with the I’ll be back, and I love you, there’s “make good decisions, always make good decisions. Now I still believe that love isn’t exactly a decision ever.

Ok, not exactly “Forever? Forever ever? Forever ever?” Wow, this is beginning to sound a little more complicated than I meant. No wonder I took a big nap after I got back from voting for Biden and Harris. Um, how about the pit in my stomach seeing an early result? See Baby Girl, love makes people STUPID (shudders). One more reason I love your intelligence so. Wait, let me play that back. It’s like I’m playing Simon here talking to Kaylee. Yes, that’s a “Firefly/Serenity” reference, “I mean to say.” I didn’t choose loving Sci-fi. Now you understand why I’m quiet most of the time. I write and decide everything about my characters. My complete lack of a filter, and my country hopefully. Although I’ll tell anyone who will listen and pardon my French, Fuck Donald Trump. That felt good.

Anyway, Baby Doll, I could give you a million and one reasons as to why I want you, need you, can’t live without you. To think three words can make you forget who you are. Four words, “can’t live without you” SIGH, did I mention my stomach and the terror? However, I want your love, but I want that to be like breathing. Yes, you can choose not to, but I wouldn’t like it, ha-ha. At the same time, I want you to decide to Stay With Me. Not for four years but forever, however long that may be in these trying times of ours. As always, though, I continue to wonder why. It’s not like being a Trump supporter, lost. I don’t want this to be GTA 2 “Dazed and Confused.” While I voted for Biden, I don’t want to be the only available option, only the greater good.

Your fire, the one desire, always A Vote For Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

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Wasn’t it this time last week, I complained about not having dinner yet? It’s because the blankets have been over my head and the slow jams crooning in my ears. Somebody once sang that Love is the answer, but I’m more old school. “Will To Be Heroes.”

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Gospel 118 ~Will To Be Heroes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I can stand to fly. Now I’m not like one of these “religious” people who need 4 jets. My Love, as the song goes, “It takes two, baby.” I want a personal one for work and, um, the one they talk about in Nickleback’s Rockstar.

No wonder I’m not hearing a whole lot these days. One more reason that I’m glad you can sing. Of course, I’m not John Legend, Tech N9ne, Hopsin, or B.o.B. I’m not even Wayne Brady. What about Marvin Gaye? I’ve been listening to Marvin a lot lately, with this world. It’s one of the reasons I should be listening to Teddy Pendergrass. The man was speaking to us and everybody else. I can go from “Come Go with Me” to “Wake Up Everybody.” Now, do I call him a hero?

On the one hand, I dared to talk to you, baby girl, um yeah. On the other, what am I doing to help the world? I’m just now waking up in more ways than one. What can I say? I love the things I do now, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t want to take a nice nap always.

It’s hard being a man sometimes. Know in no way am I discounting women. For a minute, I was about to jump on the “Trump Train” shudders. Yeah, I’m going to Hell, but I’m nowhere near that EVIL. I wanted to say, you’re my wife, we got children and Dæmon. Now my point is if I can ever get around to it. I’ve said this before that I’m a man of many hats. I want to be king of the castle… or I can pretend. I want our life together to be an adventure, Indiana Jones theme. With COVID, Alpha’s right, “we’re all monsters now.” It is pretty close to Halloween, and I want to take the kids to Trick or Treating too. My mom did that for my sister and me. I don’t know what they want to be, but I thought about all the hats and masks I don’t wear. Being a Handyman, fedoras, man in the mirror.

I talk about being king, but I’m no prince charming, no knight in shining armor, a soldier. I’m nowhere near Superman. Only You Make Me Better. In the darkness, our LOVE, Will To Be Heroes.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

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It’s getting a bit breezy, so I haven’t seen any butterflies lately. I had a bit of a stomach bug last week, and I know that’s TMI. Plus, I haven’t had dinner yet, but what am I in the mood for? Yeah, like it matters. “Hoping That’s Butterflies Will”

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Gospel 111 ~Hoping That’s Butterflies Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I can afford doctors like Trump, I reckon. You know I become such a baby when I’m sick. Even My Dæmon (the little Imp) has dragged a blanket over to me. One more reason our two-legged kids won’t meet their granddad on my side of the family. He made me puke on the tea-cups, honest. Now usually, I don’t talk about stomach stuff. Cleaning up after the Dæmon is enough. So I was listening to Michael Jackson’s “Butterflies” and thought, “funny feeling in my tummy.”

When I first saw you, as an example. So, I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I sent a girl a picture of a Butterfree from Pokémon. What, she spoke about butterflies, so I shared some lyrics. I never even got a kiss, but you were the first one to understand me, My Love. With you, I felt the butterflies once more. Hell, we even danced to the song Butterfly from Crazy Town. I still can’t believe that. I couldn’t dance with Indiana Gone at her wedding. Yet when it was You And Me… I’m going to reminisce about every song heard My Love. “Fear is the heart of love” as I Will Follow You Into The Dark played. Good thing I wasn’t drinking then. It would have made me braver. A stomachache, either because of the booze. Or the fear, but I didn’t want to mess up your dress. That was quite heavenly.

Once upon a time in my sad days, I had the Day Job, and I was sick every morning. I couldn’t eat breakfast, and I would take a bottle of water and Sprite to work. Now to live a dream within a dream. And let’s say that my appetite has improved in every way imaginable. Maybe I’m hungry. With the novels I’ve been reading, the third thing that’s the most talked about is food. You know I’m a traditionalist, but I believe women should do whatever they want. My mom was in business; only she could cook up a storm. McDonald’s was a stable of my bachelorhood, to be honest. I’ll never say no to a Big Mac or a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Filet-O-Fish sandwich? I’m “Coming Home To You” Baby Girl but the way to my heart…

I’m the typical guy babydoll, Nah. Hoping That’s Butterflies Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

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Last week I said something like, love will find me because I ain’t looking for it. If anything, I’m looking at the clock after I took too long of a nap. As I ask the question, what is there to see. “Will At First Sight.”

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Gospel 104 ~Will At First Sight~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but all I see is you. Crowns cost money. A halo shouldn’t cost anything. Of course, all my hoodies have sentimental value. Is this my way of saying I like my baby’s shine? “Well, sometimes I just can’t believe you’re mine.” To me, you are divine. Yeah, I haven’t been in a poetic mood for quite some time because I would instead study you. You know as I keep my ears open to every song (minus gospel), and all my pop culture references. Baby girl, “can’t take my eyes off you.”

Let’s say I did, and not for sleep. It’s my act of faith, hope, and love. So I ask you, do you trust me. Is that why I ask baby doll, “let me share this whole new world with you.” As long as I close my eyes and know that you’re beside me always, but you are my dream, love. Only I’m awake now, and when we first got together, well. Besides wanting the voice to sing this, “If I had one wish?” Ok, I’m going to be selfish, but I’ve always wanted a surprise party. You know how I am about E-Day, but that’s because nobody cares but you. Strangely enough, this is coming from a man that hates not being in control. Only to hear you ask me to close my eyes and when I open them to know. “Maybe, I’m amazed,” but with you, I always am.

The fact remains that even now, I still close my eyes when I pass by mirrors. Well, unless I get hurt or something. Today I checked out my ear because it got clocked by some camera rigging (my wishful thinking). Yet when I see you checking me out, well damn. When the day comes… no, I won’t even give voice to that understanding. My eyes will be full of tears. Yes, I know, I’m a broken record when I talk my eyes, his, but My Love, Your Eyes? Knowing that I’m no less of a man, that I can be, well, anything when we’re together. Now THEY say love is blind, and I’m not sure if I agree or not. It’s only the way I see you in my words, how every night you’re a starry-eyed surprise, how we are counting stars and dog hair.

Loving Will At First Sight.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

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Unlike a zombie virus, I think love will find me someday. Well, I do have puppy love if you count my little pancake running around the house. Maybe it’s all his hair floating around everywhere or a change in the weather. Will Goes To L

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Gospel 097 ~Will Goes To L~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but my favorite color will always be black. While I like tigers, my favorite animal will always be my dæmon. How many secrets do I want to share with you? LOTS. The L-word Baby Doll? I wish I could say that you were the first woman I ever said that too. People can be bad influences using that word all Willy-nilly. I tell my dæmon, you, our other children every day. I love you. Look at me being all sentimental and because of a stuffy nose. I can be a big baby when I get… nope.

Let me LIVE the dream. The Impossible Dream because I’m not sick. Only when you live in the plague era for going on how many months? There were times where I merely existed from one day to another. I want to breathe because one day I’ll have lots to say. Not only about the current bit of LITERATURE I’m reading. I could talk about books for hours and how many times I’ve been, Accidentally In Love, as the song goes. We haven’t taken the kids to the library in ages, and now my favorite movie spot is about to close. It’s like LISTENING to all those 40s and 50s apocalyptic tracks that are now coming true. If something was wrong with me, I wouldn’t want you here and at that time… well, you know me, misery and company as THEY say. Yet you’re my sunshine.

Baby, You’re My LIGHT, so am I in Heaven already. Anything without you would be Hell. Damn, how serious did that get? It’s like looking on WebMD that will always tell you you’re dying. We should be enjoying the sunshine or basking in each other. Surrounding ourselves in this thing called LIFE. If I’ve learned anything from my End of the World ideology. People like me are practically immortal. Well, I got lucky; I didn’t have to wait for the zombie lot to find you. I’m the only boy, and you’re the only girl, ha. We Found LOVE in a hopeless place. Yeah, do I want to stay listening to Spotify all day. I could hear you tell me that you love me repeatedly. The kids are someone laughing at the dæmon. He would Dance On Our Graves now. Hate keeps you living; love’s worth dying. Will Goes To L

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 090 ~Will You Blame Me~

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Babbling, Blaming but Behaving as it is Tuesday. Nobody ever blames me for making sense or being a nice guy. Anyway, I suppose my future wife is looking forward to blaming me, and yeah, it will be guilty as charged, probably. “Will You Blame Me”

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Gospel 090 ~Will You Blame Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I want to give you the world? My Love, I’ve told you, I’m a Traditionalist, and my Mom raised a gentleman. Well, she did her best. Only you can put the blame on me. Yes, baby girl, I’m all guilty about a great many things. Now I could blame society on top of being one for ahem TRADITION. I’m a movie buff. They’re all filled with men being in the wrong. I could blame um… nobody, yeah, no one at all. For the record, I never understood what I was apologizing for. How about fear?

It didn’t stop me when it came to you. Still, as the song goes, “Fear is the Heart of Love.” Only that’s my fear, and yet you’re here. We chose to share our lives, and isn’t this it. How can I give such terror to the woman I love? See, I want to say I’m sorry for such a thing. What about repeating myself over and over? I know you heard me, I know it’s okay. A man said that his girlfriend was the first person to have any faith in him. You, sweet baby doll, are the first person to ever hear me and not reject me, roar at me, or go running away. You can blame me for wishing to know everything about you. THEY say what you know can’t hurt you. Hell, I’ve told you everything, and even now, I’m sure I’m lying about that but not intentionally. It’s the guilt, though.

Will you blame me if I can’t be the husband you deserve? I love you, but I have dreams, and maybe one day you’ll be the last. You’re the one that I hope never ends, but my writing, my woman, and my world. I’m guilty of wanting everything. It’s never-ending. Will you blame me for not being the best father? I never was even when it was only my firstborn. I know that money isn’t the end all be all. Now that was my father. There’re reasons you’ll never meet him. He showed me how not to be when you wake up suddenly you’re in love. Will you blame me for losing and trying again? For knowing that you might hate me someday. Yes, for being the man you chose?

Guilty of loving you always. Now, will you blame me?

I Will Have No Fear