Tag: Video Games

Gospel 286 ~Can’t Buy B Love~

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B was here when I was gaming. I haven’t picked up a controller in months. He was here when I was doing my thing to make money. Such a bad attitude for a writer, but I love it and him, and if I were getting paid, might he be alive? “Can’t Buy B Love.”

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Gospel 286 ~Can’t Buy B Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’m not saying you’re a gold digger. If you’re asking anything… where is the love?

Now make no mistake, I love you more each and every single day. I love our children, which is why you know that Braxton’s passing is hard. Where is the love? It’s sitting in a box on the nightstand; it’s hanging around my neck. Baby Girl, it’s in Braxton’s bedroom. It is funny, isn’t it seeing as how he never used it unless we um… yep he was just one of the kids, my firstborn. A softer bed wouldn’t have helped the situation. In the end, I would have spent my last dime on fries, but he didn’t want food. I only want to be with you. That’s my Braxton. Also, you too. If it’s not song references, should I compare thee to my dog all day? Maybe not, hmm?

I’m comparing you to the only love I have ever known for almost sixteen years. He was worth everything I own; well, we own now. I waste cash on myself, no doubt. Only it was B III that made me want to work so hard, to give him so much, and I didn’t try enough. It’s as if I can’t find the balance, My Love. Love wasn’t enough to save him. While I doubt all my fortune would have done anything, it would have been worth a try or something. With you, I give all this wealth but what you’re not feeling is any love from it. I still try. Baby Doll, that’s what I promise, that I will always try, and it is there.

I told you once before how I’m into Aloe Blacc’s “Wake Me Up.” There are these two lines in particular: “Life’s a game made for everyone. And love is the prize.” Love isn’t such a thing. No, love is the instruction manual, and I just lost mine. So, continue, insert quarters? It’s better than me walking away, deciding I don’t want to play anymore, then what? I wouldn’t rob you of Player 2, but I lost Braxton, and I need time to learn this game again. Have you had enough of my game analogy yet? I haven’t been spending on gaming. Hell, the quiet is killing me, but we have to pay for that too in Life. Will you lay here? Can’t Buy B Love.

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

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Steal, Still, Steel, language can be a miraculous thing though most days I spend talking to myself or my Dæmon and usually we’re both out cold like today. I wore out the snooze button with my clumsiness. “The Will Of Steel.”

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have got to remind me of this title after Christmas. You don’t know how I really want to turn this into, you know. Hell, even when I’m not in the mood, it’s like being the HULK. That’s the thing, Lady Lu, I’m always, sigh. Anyway, today I feel heavy, heavy-handed, ham-fisted, and being handled by life. Yet with these hands, I still find a way to push the buttons on alarm clocks. I might as well pin my legs to the bed. Um, there’s the six impossible things I keep going at or not.

Stealing more hours from my future self than I care to admit Lady Lu. You can see what time it is now. Even with everything that happened yesterday, I was still earlier than now. Of course, you can ask Lady Sophia about that because I rather forget. Well, until Friday. Stealing another moment that could bring about happiness. Only again, I instead wallow in self-pity. If anything, it beats what else I would be doing. Indiana Gone asked me what I wanted for Christmas. One of those phone cleaners? The real dirt, I added myself.

Still, every day, I go out and fight the fight. Now when I say go out, that could mean on most days only crawling out of my bed. Ask me where I am now, and that would be the loveseat in my den/game room, my Dæmon by my side. And my hands to the keyboard. Still, trying to make something of my life at least until 5:30 PM, and then what? Phone games until 6:00 PM, and then I’m killing cultists… in another game. Why am I still surprised that saying such a thing is acceptable but not some others?

Steel for real as the world falls apart and people are getting crazier by the day. I’m not ready to spend $500 to save the car I have because I need to save my black ass. Oh, I said that the gun I have scares me? I’m like Kevin Bacon/Nick Hume in Death Sentence 2007. Steel, like gold, is in short supply these days. Or is it the fact that I’m lazy as all Hell again like today? And with these hands, why be distracted, dirty, or even somewhat dangerous.

The real me sacrificed for this, The Will Of Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

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I’ve been listening less to the Pussycat Dolls and more to daily motivations. Spotify told me that my most played song this year has been “Sucker For Pain.” Good thing I didn’t win the presidency. “Pushing My Buttons Willie,” none connected to bombs

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even with all this cash, I’ll still buy hoodies. In a way, I’m starting to feel like Linus; only my blue blanket is a black hoodie. Trevor Noah stole my look, right? I’m sure this isn’t the 1st time I’ve talked about such fashion choices. For now, I’m only trying to keep a pair of pants on for “obvious” reasons. I’ve already failed my Six Impossible Things for this week, but I can try. Lady Lu, I should go to the door and see if my newest NaNoWriMo shirt’s arrived.

That is what I call trying to cheer myself up because today has been one of those days. It’s only what now 10:05 AM. I was fighting with my alarm at around 5 AM. So yeah, I’ve been “diddling” around for about 5 hours. Well, until my Dæmon’s Medication Time. Didn’t I say something about him being all Nakey the other day (collarless)? Putting the collar back on and taking it off is getting easier. We also have him back on schedule, but he still wants hotdogs. I almost blew the microwave up in some way, I don’t know. $500.00 wouldn’t seem like much by comparison? Why yes, Lady Lu, I’m still “salty” at Serra Hyundai. Now I’m all sorts of worried about my car, and I haven’t left the house in how long? Every day I’m agreeing more with the Trumptards… Ignorance Is Bliss.

But I don’t want to be ignorant. As we have gone over again and again. STUPID is possibly the worse word in the English language. So I push buttons to read books every day. Am I learning from, um, Abby Knox, Eric Vall, or even my own work left unedited? I finally got back into Far Cry 5 the other day and, in less than a minute, blew something up? Yes, it was an accident. How about the times I died jumping off cliffs without my wingsuit deployed? I’ll try again tonight. Ok, try some hunting, ha. Speaking about guns… Yes, I’ll stick to video games or YouTube for now. All I’m doing is wasting time, even when I go to sleep on time. Ok, I’ll admit, an hour later, but I was talking to M. Anime. Please don’t let me screw this up seriously.

My mouth, my fingers, my pants. Pushing My Buttons Willie

I Will Have No Fear

Log 309 ~Better Shape Up Will~

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Wasn’t it last week I was saying that I missed the music though. Suddenly, well, I don’t know. Maybe I felt the need to get up and dance when I was not playing video games, and did I mention I’m never taking @musclemilk again. “Better Shape Up Will.”

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Log 309 ~Better Shape Up Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so that means I can afford a personal trainer. Now yes, I do everything in excess. So I want a Martial Arts Master, a Marksmen, even a snack Maitre d’, my personal DoorDash. You know I don’t have body issues with myself, though I wouldn’t mind being Magic Mike or Creed. More to the point as the song goes, I only wanna be with you. What, I’ve been sharing my playlists with you forever? Though I will apologize for my latest pastime while in our bed, we’ll get to that today.

The “Circle Circle Dot Dot” from the screen because I haven’t gone and finished Far Cry 5 or Heavy Rain. Hell baby doll, you could say playing The Walking Dead or Plague Inc in bed is my longing to be Close To You. My, My, My, there are better things to do in bed. Still, I miss the Triforce, a bit of a love triangle or triangles considering Final Fantasy VII. I know the Triforce is The Legend of Zelda. If you ever doubt yourself, My Love, I have chosen you over a princess. Please don’t get me started on other characters or my work. As they say, it’s Hip To Be Square or rather a rectangle. If I had my way, nine times out of ten, I want to be in bed reading beside you, amongst other things. I appreciate you letting me give myself to novels I write. Again, we turn to my phone and another game craze sigh Call me a Legend.

In case I don’t tell you enough baby doll, you are my world. Okay, that sounds bad, doesn’t it, but you know what I mean. I want to build my life around you. See, I didn’t immediately go for the song, but you know me well enough that there was one. A friend told me once that I have music for every situation, that I can mold into anything. Sort of like my furry little kid who takes whatever shape he chooses lying in bed. It’s like how I watch you curl around our other children. Like Jeanie in The Handmaid’s Tale singing, I Only Want To Be With You. Speaking of which I Melt With You, right here watching everything on TV My Love.

Still, if I want you forever, Better Shape Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear