Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

Last week I was worried about Heaven hearing me when misunderstood by a man across the desk and a woman I wouldn’t have minded… shh, you can’t say such things or even the innocent pretty words, don’t even think them “#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.”

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~


Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but I should be, I think a lot of men are, and I know we have talked about my mouth on more than one occasion that when it comes to women… at this rate, I have nothing to worry about honestly. If anything I still remember the 5th Amendment, but lately, I have been holding onto the first one as tightly as a Republican with his gun after any recent shooting.

A man with a voice is a dangerous thing these days though it’s more about the physical aspect but it’s these words Dirty Diana, these damn words, and the words are now, the right to remain silent… those would be the Miranda rights? The right to free speech though, I’ve never whistled at some woman, never catcalled, never called some girl a dirty name outside the bedroom or should I just say sexual activity. Funny I thought something like this would scare me the most, well it has but what were the real consequences of any such thing other than looking like a pervert, a Harvey Weinstein or even worse.

You know what word nearly ended me; life, how about a job’s a job, another day, a sigh, a moan, a grunt, and I’m supposed to be worried about calling a woman a slut, a ho, how about whore or bitch? No Dirty Diana they are saying a backlash is coming, you know I can be nice, but a guy can be taken down by an accusation, an acknowledgment of beauty, a look, a movement, my god nothing is safe. Think The Screwfly Solution with the Daughters of Eve rather than the Sons of Adam. I know this isn’t sounding so sexy but these days, silence, isolation, talk about spreading your legs, what about opening your mind, or breaking your heart, hiding everything about ourselves because we’re afraid for men to be men and women to be women and everything.

I respect the #MeToo movement but where does it end, you wonder why I’m so scared to talk to women outside because I’m horrified to talk to anybody and damn my social anxiety, it’s against the law to be me, and I’m made to be something they see which is illegal. Every single word and you could be one of them, #MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 214 ~Not One Of Us~

At least Walkers or the standard zombies are asking for it, but as for me, I just want to get through my day the best way I know how but apparently that’s not normal and if I’m not one of them? “Not One Of Us,” I just can’t run away though.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Lesson 214 ~Not One Of Us~

Born in grief
Raised in hate
Helpless to defy his fate
Let him run
Let him live
But do not forget what we cannot forgive

And he is not one of us ― (Not One Of Us) from The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride (1998)

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, as a matter of fact, I’m not a lot of things. I’m not some victim of abuse, depending on how you define it, I am not a human being, again what classifies as human, and I am not going to live forever, have I at all? Speaking of my sins what am I, a coward, a hypocrite, unemployed, not yet anyway I haven’t sent in my account of things at work still.

If I haven’t said it before, how dare I, you know I’ve had my misgivings about the “#metoo” movement mainly because I’m ashamed of my actions towards women, and worse I compare my predicament with my boss to such maddening suffering. My entire life it’s, I’m not black enough, loud enough, and just not like them, so I continuously shift between being a monster and then not worth having a life at all honestly. Don’t worry Inspector Echo I’ll be alive for some time yet but as the song goes:

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had (Mad World)

So what is stopping me from telling someone other than you and maybe Indiana Gone; I can’t say that my goals were genuinely noble when I wanted to report my boss, and there is a fine line between justice and wrath but what happens if I don’t tell? I won’t lie, and if I don’t I’ll get fired but don’t I pretend all the time, at church if I weren’t a Christian my “father” would beat my ass and at work… no job, no life. I have to keep my job at all cost, but instead of spreading my legs or ass cheeks as the case may be, I’ll have to open my mind, to break my heart, to open my mouth to lie on myself, to open my eyes and watch that bastard laugh.

Again my oldest sin, this rage that I feel and at the same time, in an exact moment of “Doublethink” I will kowtow, I will worry, I will know fear because when has anything I’ve ever written helped me? The idea of being an ordinary human, at least in America, I’m a slave to my phone, I keep up the status quo, I lie like anyone else because while the truth will set you free… of the mortal coil, it means I’m not dead yet.

So can you forgive me, may I have absolution, monsters don’t deserve it, and the problem with people is they always are sorry, and I am tired of being sad just being me and as they all seem to think now Not One Of Us?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 109 ~My Butter Fingers Honor~

You can look but don’t touch, better not to even look, wait why aren’t you looking… honestly, can I get my hands on an instruction manual for women but what man reads the instructions anyway? My Butter Fingers Honor

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Lesson 109 ~My Butter Fingers Honor~

Forgive Me Echo,
No Fear and on my butter fingers honor, the worse thing I have ever done to the fairer sex is, be scary. Don’t get me wrong Lady Echo, I can think of plenty I have done wrong but to bring about fear and I know fear, for everything I claim to know fear is the air I breathe and to think I could do that to someone else, I’m truly sorry Echo.

Now I could go on forever and a day about this and I haven’t thought about what’s her face in weeks but if you’ve been keeping track of current events, one name Harvey Weinstein. Is it selfish of me to hope that they don’t start removing all the movies he was involved in, how about to worry about all the men appearing in show business that may be in scandals themselves? I actually felt sick about the #MeToo campaign for all the wrong reasons; is it because I’m guilty, honestly, I’m into some things but the fear is my worse offense, I’m sure of it.

I study Ravishment but I’ve never taken any woman against her will, SSC, RACK, I do my homework and no I won’t apologize for ninety percent of the things I’m into, that other ten… My mother raised a gentleman can you believe that I open doors for women when my anxiety allows, I pay for dinner unless the woman owes me a ton of money, then I make dinner, I don’t catcall, I don’t lie, etc. Well okay, I told one woman that she and her friend looked like they should be on “Brazzers” or “Reality Kings” but that was a comment on a blog and I stopped easily enough.

I felt one woman up and she didn’t stop me because she said I would be upset and I apologized to her and there was the time we were wrestling and she got scared and I let go of her immediately, or the time I tried to get up her shirt and squeezed her ass. Women have it bad when it comes to men and all I know is that I want to be better, as far as women in my orbit one doesn’t really know me, another wants me to make a move but I won’t, and the last is wondering what she did wrong, I stay far away.

So is this worth anything today, acknowledgment of some if not all, saying I am wrong, truly I am sorry, on My Butter Fingers Honor.

Hold up.
Am I as superficial as all those guys I warned Ashley about? I mean could it be that I’m more obsessed with breasts and thighs than Colonel Sanders ever was? Mightn’t I be able to look deeper? I mean, to cherish women as full and complete and complex individuals.
And with this new understanding to finally find and keep this true love that eludes so many of us.
Nah!” That’s No Lady, That’s My Cousin, Fresh Prince

I Will Have No Fear