Tag: Reading

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

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What’s today’s story, I’ll let you know when I’m back holding the pen, B III needs me to go and get his papers, I got to talk to a girl about some mean green, and I’m sure somebody out there needs me for a joke. “Will Asks A Director,” or becomes one

Friday, January 4, 2019

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, ask Skye Warren, Celia Aaron, Pepper Winters, Pam Godwin, should I ask S. Wolf or Todd Michaels, and I know what you’re thinking, yes I know way more authors than directors. Hell, last night I told myself the whole story of The Postman (1997), instead of sleeping in my bed, I slept on the loveseat and dreamed I was Star-Lord flying through the sky about to fight Thanos a.k.a. B III on account of him being sick, the heating vent, and Honest Trailers, how that wasn’t in my plans at all.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen

If I have learned anything from this week and as always this is a repeated lesson, I’m a dominant; I like being in control, my directorial debut “Cumming For You” (no I won’t call LANGUAGE on the title) was a resounding success; I always wanted to direct a porno. I can be a producer of course when the need arises, the day job, a pretty girl is coming over (asks Indiana Gone or Okay) and let’s hear it for my ill Triple B, now that’s not good, but my Motivations always talk about having a reason, a drive, your purpose. Social Anxiety, of course, makes you think the camera, the spotlight, the live studio audience is always on you and that’s one more reason to stay under the covers, to play the ghost, why so many others prefer playing dead.

The concept brings me back to the hot MILF and my new actress, am I becoming a fanboy, that was before I even saw her naked but what I’m getting at is, that energy, the moment she cums, the improvisation, motivation, life. Even in my novels, it’s not that I’m writing, I believe whatever I want, I make plans and then the characters, they take over and the beauty of that moment, do you watch, or do you join the fun? Do you think God is up there, wishing for some good shut-eye, but he’s busy stroking or fingering, maybe sees us as sick and has to stay up all night, perhaps we’re only the strangest dream; still an atheist.

Today however I’m cast and crew, I’ll probably have a conversation with my actress, and Triple B is busy writing his new screenplay though I think it’s shit (LANGUAGE) yeah going to buy more doggy pads and that means I’m going to be on screen. Everyday Lady Sophia I “try” an answer the question, why am I a writer and here’s one “Like Me When I’m Not Me” so does that mean I want to be a character or stay behind; Will Asks A Director.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

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Well aren’t I running late today with everything, bills, conversation, and I’m sure there is a NO someplace, but that would require asking the question and don’t I think I know everything hmm? Sick Of Know Will

Friday, December 28, 2018

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, have the guts to go after something harder than that; ahem, my Motivations, one says it’s never about the prize but the pride, for example, I can buy a NaNoWriMo winner’s shirt, but I believe one must earn it. Believe, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I could, should, and would write fifty thousand words, even more than that it was fact Lady Sophia, before the first word, there was my goal point blank.

Another Motivation, Hero Of Your Own Story and you’ve heard this a million times over, I wake up because I have to, I’m always grateful for B III’s safety and health, I don’t look in the mirror and I’m starting to think, maybe it’s because I KNOW who I am. Makes me a hypocrite saying I’m lost all the time or wandering at least, yes one foot in front of another today, tomorrow, every day zombified. When somebody new sees me well; to write you bleed, you spit venom, you breathe fire, and so you live, writing is living Lady Sophia, cage, institution, torture chamber, hell a concentration camp, a hospital, a library is a hospital for the HUMAN mind.

So how do I get discharged hmm… of course I talk to you but honestly what does this make me; well on top of everything else I’m tired, work, errands, I am keeping up with Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron but that doesn’t count as work. I have such plans for tomorrow, promises but will I keep any of them, will I write them down, you know I do that every Sunday and again I know I won’t keep them, isn’t that precisely the type of man I am now? Speaking of man, you know what I have wanted to write all day, I asked “Okay,” “Indiana Gone,” and “M Anime” and they all agree but I have yet to make that move because I have no problem saying I’m afraid, twenty seconds of insane fucking courage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmMFIganRQY

I’m sick of knowing the answers to everything, that you don’t understand me one bit, that I’m looking at an F come Sunday and of losing more friends and light when she says NO. You get discharged by accepting the fact and doing it anyway because that my dear Lady Sophia is what living is, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the knowledge that yeah you’re going to die, but for a second, twenty, you’re alive, and I’m not Sick Of Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

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Top ten actresses, best places to build a brothel, and could Santa carry a billion dollars in his bag, I’m sure I could think of a few ways, but no I instead count other “things” or not, *sigh* so many sheep. Purposeful Listlessness Of Will

Friday, December 21, 2018

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be too lazy to make an actual list of the things you want; my Motivations talk about writing down everything from your wishes, to whys, to The Way, and I mean your life’s purpose. I remember when Cherry talked about my Pinterest boards, my “Spank Bank” I was able to tell her so handily what I wanted to do with my life; I want to write books, have a bordello and a billion dollars… not good.

Probably because it would end up as Exhibit A in some court case am I right, but wanting to rule the world and be a politician, can be two different things but learning from America, being a Republican gets you paid and thus all sorts of control. Is there ever such a thing especially considering today, if I made a list of everything that has threatened that command… more Dirty Diana’s wheelhouse but Anna Blossom (Pornhub), Two Milfs (sigh), Haley Pullos, to mention a few. I can only imagine if this was Divergent and here I am attempting to be Dauntless, do you know how many fears I would have to name and maybe that’s the rub… Motivations say that everything you want lies on the other side of FEAR, the cooler side of the pillow but dreams and nightmares:

Honestly, besides a massive case of blue balls, my definition of Hell would be writing down a list of the women I can’t have, in other words, Erotica and with everything I should be doing today, I didn’t even list my short story as a goal. My dear Lady Sophia, today’s lists have included, organizing the rugs at the day job (with my OCD), keeping track of all the presents I bought “Ho, Ho, Ho” (Language Please) and plotting the moments that will lead to my untimely destruction come Christmas Day (Indiana Gone will not be pleased with that assessment).

I look into every outcome of how I can be embarrassed, humiliated, or dead, which is one of the reasons I sleep so much, ask me what I want and I would say everything, the women I desire again I’m screwed or not, so yes I’m lazy. Aren’t I also impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane as always and I prefer Santa keep his cheeks rosy for other reasons, of course, if he were a man like me… he only works one day a year but for me, on the other hand, Purposeful Listlessness Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 166 ~Wills I Never Read~

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I haven’t taken time to read lately, maybe because the truth absorbs me rather than fiction, let’s be real most words nowadays… hell, I’m creative, and others are liars and my look what time it is. “Wills I Never Read” but met hmm

Friday, December 14, 2018

Episode 166 ~Wills I Never Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars is something I never read about, seriously My Lady if you want to know where such a wish came from, there was a song “If I Had A $1,000,000” one of my Motivations “What If” and today it was the time on my schedule, but wait.

I never read the receipts when I was a child, I honestly don’t remember reading about Santa Claus but both I can put on my parents; a blessing or a curse but I should be grateful, I AM, yes I AM. Until there was Sticker Shock and if I knew then Lady Sophia how much it costs to live… hell, I never read those boxes of sleeping pills or NyQuil, I never understood the fine print of The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, been there before.

Speaking of things that will get me into Hell, there wasn’t a time in school that I read about sex, I only saw a few graphic pictures, I heard words like Rape, Sin, No Means No, the thoughts in my head echoed, pervert, stalker, criminal, evil, still do sometimes. It was when I started reading when I began educating myself honestly on BDSM, SSC, RACK, Ravishment; when I learned about Hentai, Erotica, my company Second Circle Creations, when I decided to take back my name, which I still hate looking at from time to time.

Damn the numbers though, more like fuck the numbers (Captain America says “Language”) today is Friday, not Thursday and that’s part of the reason I’m irritated, irate, irrational, damn near having an anxiety attack at 6:00 in the morning. I promised myself I would get up at 4:00 “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” and at 1:00 this afternoon I have to call into the day job and if it’s not good news at 3:00 bring on the panic attack.

You see Lady Sophia these are the men I never read about, but they all exist; I complained to a math tutor that if only math was like reading and I can’t read IBC Root Beer labels without thinking about lying to my “father” about my math homework and getting smacked. I can’t read my son’s face but “B III” tells me it’s time to get up for Walkies, I can’t read the sun in the sky, and nowhere is it written to learn why I get up at all… LOVE, for him, for myself, for some girl I’m not sure may live. I’ll never read about when I may gain a pardon from the mortal coil, my bank account will never speak of freedom, my soul shall never write about happiness, but someday he’ll be here; only one more of
Wills I Never Read.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 145 ~Will Read The Directions~

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Do you honestly believe I’m going to follow the rules for 5000 words today, hell if I did my novel would be completed this weekend but sleeping my life away is quite simple, I know the way to my pillow? “Will Read The Directions.”

Friday, November 23, 2018

Episode 145 ~Will Read The Directions~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, for example, I still can’t find those but if it involves writing every day well… Here I Am; it’s one thirty in the morning and while my motivations talk about not talking about work, let your success make the noise again I’m here. Emails about making it to 40,000 words, my alarm clocks telling me I should have been in bed hours ago and ready to go off about work, and of course, however, I choose to procrastinate at this time.

How many energy shots is it safe to take, how long are turkey and ham good for maybe? Is there a maximum number of emails some people can have ever? How much is a business allowed? I’m looking at you Office Depot. If my life was in a grocery store and I had to read the directions on how my goose gets cooked, believe me when I say, I would put it back down; I know you were expecting a song like Indiana Gone right, so I’m Gonna Make It. I can’t say I miss people telling me what to do… yeah when did it ever end, day job and all but nobody told me how to survive yesterday and somehow it got done, but “men” are supposed to know right, even now I hate looking to others which shouldn’t surprise me, I still hate looking in the mirror because I don’t recognize my reflection.

The things I know how to do are things that I hate and the things that I love hell Lady Sophia I have no idea, take “B III” for example; every week don’t I fail at being the father I should be, I take him for walks, change his pad, give him his meds on time. Nobody teaches you how to be a dad, and don’t get me started on my “Father” I don’t have that money or patience, plus despite my novel I respect women, and I don’t want my kids to be afraid. The thing is I am terrified all the time because that’s one more set of directions they leave out; so many things I need to write but it all gets to be a bit much and even if I wrote it all down tonight would I read it in the morning?

We both know the answer to such things right, four hundred words a day, 365 days in a year, 120,000 words. That’s a novel unless we were playing by NaNoWriMo rules and that keeps me going I know. I’m also good at reading bills but not who’s on my money not that it matters but shouldn’t it all, hell look at Trump, and the only things he “learns” is bad press but when the phrase people use is “WTF is he doing” I think I better find some damn instructions for life. Now if you hand me the Bible I swear I’m going Fahrenheit 451; Will Read The Directions.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

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The ideas have to get out some way, but I don’t want to be the only one that ever sees them but if anything I’m not a nice guy so is there such a thing as a dirty word? Let’s Remake The World, but not like that.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Lesson 188 ~Let’s Remake The World~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, as we both know I hate change be it success or failure, first you have to put yourself out there and for now, there are three ideas in my head

LIGHTEN UP, it’s about a killer that operates with fire, I’m sure there’s one done before, but it’s always good news when I can’t honestly think of a comparison. The world nowadays lacks originality without a doubt but how dangerous it is to be different in this day and age or any for that matter. Especially when all my works come back to sex, I imagine a woman being burned by the spotlight, flames if she doesn’t do what she’s asked. Yeah, I’m looking to be a banned book like my current read “The Director.”

What was it I said about being original though, I read a story prompt about a father who has four daughters that all represent the four horsemen of the apocalypse; I think that’s worth a bit of research Lady Sophia. I can’t say I know where I’m going with it yet but when has that ever stopped me before, honestly my last story just went on and on, and I still have yet to answer the question, what I’m going to do with it. There are still bad memories of my whole math fiasco, and that is what my novels are, just moving the problem from one place to another without any real solution naturally.

CRIME’S UP, yet another working title of course, but I was thinking about a hitman that would be up to kill anybody even if he must make them indulge some sin to earn their death. Of course, most of these crimes will be second circle offenses, how we are so influenced by what is going on in our lives as of late don’t you think? One story about the fire because it’s been so cold, another from Pinterest, now that was quite a scare worth writing about, and a third because again I’m fighting my nature as always and of course I’m quite the sinner.

As for the novel I’m reading as I said, Lily White got banned from Amazon and apparently everywhere else how can I expect to make money if I follow the same path? Being a writer though Lady Sophia isn’t just about the money; shall I have much higher aspirations, a thought Let’s Remake The World.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 181 ~Read Me, Read You~

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Sometimes we get to read and sometimes we are the ones whose words do something, anything, not that I have been doing much of either; yeah what else would I call 26 books and a 50,000-word novel right? Read Me, Read You.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Lesson 181 ~Read Me, Read You~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear because you will know exactly where to find me, or at least where I wish you would see me because I can be a pretty scary guy and not just in fiction strangely enough. As the saying goes, sticks and stones will break my bones but words, well don’t get me started on words, according to the date I found myself writing July 3rd again.

That’s where you’ll find me getting upset with “her” words after leaving my own, and then writing more, baring myself and simultaneously burying myself deeper and deeper. Just one more girl who hates me and I’m sure I’ll find another one next year, my fingers much like my tongue need only focus on survival and nothing else, like saying what I feel because that’s usually wrong. One of the mysteries of life perhaps, if you put your foot in your mouth what do you do with your fingers, oh yeah maybe I should stop that.

Speaking of which, according to Goodreads you’ll find me in the erotica section, fourteen out of twenty-five and that’s from my reading group, and I don’t even talk to those people, to be honest, Lady Sophia. Of the people I do talk to, seven more are some authors that only wanted a review; sometimes I get the feeling that I’m just some tool, again these fingers of mine I should be doing anything else to keep busy isn’t that right? Which leaves four, two trying to make something of myself, one was a reread, and another I read for the joy of reading, and people wonder why we don’t read anymore, the pleasure, the rapture.

Sometimes I find that in my writing and when is the last time I focused on that; not since Nanowrimo, so January is going to be one hell of a month isn’t it, I barely survived November, and I had to pound a 5-hour ENERGY to be here with you today. I honestly need to do more writing, and I would call that a new year’s resolution but also a simple statement of fact truthfully.

Last but not least I hope you’ll find me there unafraid, of censorship, of knowing myself, and maybe not alone… “hope” like “love” is another word I should know how to define; a girl that can Read Me, Read You.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 139 ~Because Books Become Beguiling…~

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Write, Wow, Win, I feel a new rule coming on at some point but shouldn’t ever word now be going to those 50,000 that I owe… well not really anybody, just like these lessons that I’m apparently not learning, as Because Books Become Beguiling

Friday, November 17, 2017

Lesson 139 ~Because Books Become Beguiling…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear because every day I doubt all the more truly I could ever write such a title and yet the dream remains, forever the dream, how many words am I supposed to have written for “NaNoWriMo” by today and with my current schedule as is *sigh*.

It doesn’t take much to write excuses does it or even talk to you, no I’m not trying to be mean though I’m sure a girl here or there would call me as such. Here I am trying to write a 50,000-word novel and I can’t even reply to a few simple text and I actually fell asleep today, the “5-hour Energy” is still working, I didn’t take it before because… Yeah, fill in the blank with whatever you want when it comes to that, talking about my warped creativity.

What do I find inspires me lately… I already fell off the wagon as of late but I have been finding my anger fuels me quite a bit, I feel, my day job knows all about my “epic” rants and that’s been awhile too. As for my current reading list, “Shiver” by Ella Frank and Brooke Blaine, and I don’t mean this as a criticism but it is honestly the gayest thing I ever read, Gay Dark Erotica, of course, I didn’t know that when I first picked up the title, read between the lines or read the fine print why don’t I. Talk about beguiling because in my life there have been perhaps three books I just couldn’t finish.

Maybe I’m just stubborn when it comes to this one and if only I could be as stubborn when it comes to my own writing, because charming, beguiling, debonair, what have you is not what I have been doing lately. It’s been about banging my head against a wall or more to the point… oh yeah, I have to be somewhat diplomatic talking to you, probably the only real practice I have been getting with my writing lately just saying.

I will never say that any book disturbs to be burned, people sure but ideas, even bad ones show us something, even if we are the worst off for it if they come rushed, and unlike some words said, writing means… isn’t that a question, what does writing mean. Perhaps people will never know because my words belong somewhere else but others in the end maybe “Because Books Become Beguiling…”

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 132 ~A Few More Keys~

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Twenty-six letters in the alphabet and I have to make fifty thousand words or more, sounds horrifying when you look at it that way, like some monster I can’t escape because I still have to choose the right key, over and over. “A Few More Keys” really

Friday, November 10, 2017

Lesson 132 ~A Few More Keys~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear, other than I can’t get out of is so what’s the key to being a good writer and while this is somewhat simplistic advice, for once I can give you an answer. Write, now isn’t that what they all say and how about comparing yourself to others, sad to admit that the idea that someone is worse seems to get me through these days now.

That and “5-hour Energy” which is how I managed to get anything done at all yesterday but as I told you before, it’s “NaNoWriMo” and I’m proud to say that I’m actually participating to a certain degree. I’m going to need every trick in my repertoire to get this done and at the moment that means the placebo effect. It’s keeping me buzzed as we speak, I should probably be writing a review for “Powerade” too but honestly, I don’t need to add any more to my plate right now.

So right now my current story is “The Keys of Life” but that’s a working title, and Grammarly already nailed me on dreaded plagiarism, so I’ll have to see where, and of course shelling out more money. I was thinking something along the lines of “Wool” meets “Mad Max” probably with some “Sucker Punch” thrown in as well and of course, it will be erotica or whatever I hope erotic to be. Is it sad that I’m already throwing in characters like this will be a movie, or maybe that’s just par for the course these days helping me visualize?

I can’t even give you a synopsis because I can’t see where I’m going, I’m just taking it one key at a time, one step at a time, and aren’t I always saying that time is always against me. Even today I have to write a review for “Ruthless King” by Meghan March, well I don’t have to but I want to kill more time writing about somebody else really.

I wonder if God ever felt this way, maybe he got bored playing The Sims, wanting everything to be perfect and so he just chose to step back and give himself eternity. I don’t have that luxury, think outside, off the TV and Youtube, even the depression if I can and get right back to writing but Lady Sophia it’s *sigh* A Few More Keys.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 125 ~Should “Words” Be Infectious~

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My mind seems to be one whiteboard when what I need is a white room for my madness because it’s been a long time since I have allowed myself to go mad and I suppose I need the convenience to answer the question. Should “Words” Be Infectious

Friday, November 3, 2017

Lesson 125 ~Should “Words” Be Infectious~

Hey Lady Sophia,
No Fear… except I’m becoming too relaxed, too popular and mediocrity can be addicting but not infectious as my words should be. My words, I suppose at the very least it’s something that I’m actually reading again which means I should have another review in how long?

Speaking of reviews, I hate being used, seriously I’m not a big deal or anything but the book offers keep rolling in and my reviews keep rolling out and how do I know I’m being used. Yes, I’ve been on a dark erotica kick for a while and now I’m reading stories about everything from horror stories to boxers… a sports book who knows, who cares. Apparently, these authors don’t they just want reviews on Amazon so their words can spread, text, emails, word of mouth which brings me to the lesson of what the hell have I done honestly.

I’m a freaking carrier of words, a zombie, a Walker, a Z, and my only job is to ingest all I can just so I can spread more words everywhere else and I don’t know maybe I’m just frustrated. How I survived the month of Sapphire and made it through October and now it’s NaNoWriMo season and what do I have to show for it… you know this month is only going to get worse. It’s not like I’m helping manners, do you know I almost forgot to write today, maybe I was preparing so much yesterday but I was just slacking off today and the only word that came to mind today was infectious.

Aren’t there enough zombie stories and what about my novella… that wasn’t meant to be 50,000 words of course and technically it should be done already. The words seem so small when you actually think about it, 2,000 words a day when I was actually doing 5,000 for my novel “Some Assembly Required”, remember that.

I thought about imposing a sort of a tax on myself for every time I get a hard-on, I write a hundred words, can you imagine with my libido how many words that would be daily? So what about tomorrow, I have such grand plans at the moment but what will I be doing; see I honestly don’t want to write about those ideas either.

You know what the solution is don’t you, the cure, “in my own words” because the answer is so simple right, Should Words Be Infectious?

I Will Have No Fear