Tag: Understanding

Log 127 ~Happy Write, Willing Wife~

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NaNoWriMo season and I fear I’m falling behind, but what is my pretty wife up to, and my little dæmon buddy is bored, but I’m only 10,000 words out of 50,000 and as Ariel is singing in the background, “I want more.” “Happy Write, Willing Wife,” maybe

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

Log 127 ~Happy Write, Willing Wife~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it all started with writing. I’m not going to lie, oh yes, there will be fiction, but I won’t lie to you. You’re aware that I’m a hard man to get to know. You don’t need my writing to tell you that. You can check my Spotify playlist, my Watchlist, and Goodreads for books. When’s the last time I picked up a book that wasn’t my own? Now that brings us to today, and no, I’m not leaving to go and pick up a box of smokes. I hate smoking but smoke signals, you might need them sometime this month.

It’s only three months out of every year, but November is the Big One, NaNoWriMo. Despite my various business ventures, writing is the only one where I cut myself off from the rest of the world. Didn’t I tell you about my dream about the beach? I’m writing I don’t know what while you and the children play and soon I can’t help but join you. Hell, we have done that, but today isn’t the day. I remember Nas rapped something about Hip Hop being his first wifey. So it is with my writing. Is that what I’m trying to tell you or maybe myself. Despite everything I have been through with writing, I can’t give it up for anybody; it’s my dream. What about everything else? I’m not sure at this moment, but a man’s family comes first. Strange that GTA V reinforces that idea. I’ll always put my family above everything, My Love.

Only this month and maybe over the summer, I have this discipline. I’m not asking for your permission. In this movie “Get On The Bus,” a man says you don’t run around a woman; he tells her how things are, and you deal. I must sound like such a fanboy, and I’m sure the NaNoWriMo crew wouldn’t like me saying this. One more reason I’m a writer; this is my world. It’s like a business trip this month, locking myself in a room, well I’ll still be beside you every night. Sure, I’ll be surrounded by my other best sellers and buried in notes. I always want to be a better man for you, but if you catch me slacking this month, it’s not forever.

I love you, I love this, Happy Write, Willing Wife.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 120 ~The Will Of Disney~

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You know I like Disney, even though they got Star Wars as a part of their “New Empire” yes I quoted Anakin, sue me and I’m sure they would, but again I’m a Disney Fan, and there is plenty of love there. The Will Of Disney or maybe “Wheel Of Destiny.”

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Log 120 ~The Will Of Disney~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s Disney worth nowadays. The idea of bringing such happiness and joy to people is astounding. Let me count the ways you do such things to me, My Love. So perhaps I should envy you, and no, I won’t quote that song from Jay Z.

What I mean is you know my business dealings. I pride myself on being an “Adult Disneyland.” That’s something else I’ve been thinking about only recently. How these wives never seem to know their husbands.

Lord Of War was one thing, Daniel LaRusso and his wife is another. You know I idolize Dennis Hof, and “THEY” called him “The P.T. Barnum of Booty.” He didn’t lie to his women, and I won’t lie to you. Okay, not the best example, noted, but these men did what they loved and loved who they loved. I love you, and I want to see you happy. So today, I’m going through my playlists (big surprise), and I have one devoted to Disney. You know one of my best friends got married in an all-round Disney affair. I hope I make her proud because I told her I would get married when the Dead walked the Earth. One more reason I love you baby girl, you chose me before any zombie apocalypse. Anyway, I keep getting off-topic, so I keep listening to these songs.

I Just Can’t Wait To Be King, Prince Ali, and (sniffles) God Help The Outcasts. Now my motivations often speak of the “willingness” to serve, to help others. I think of you, how sometimes I should shut up and Kiss the Girl. Love, I want to show you A Whole New World. The man that I want to be for you; I look in the mirror (gasps), and I say to myself, “He Lives In You.” Hell, anything beats the old slave mentality I have at the Day Job, Zip- A- Dee-Doo-Dah. You’re the type of woman who is the perfect example of Lesson Number One for our girls. I am a father, but I want all our kids to know like “our” Firstborn, You’ve Got a Friend in Me, or a Friend Like Me ha. It’s safe to say we will visit Disneyworld and Disneyland and not only for Star Wars; another gasp, lovely.

To be a good man, yours, The Will Of Disney.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

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I’m still looking at the man in the mirror and seeing how anxiety has warped me to several degrees; I can only imagine the smile I could wear on my face, like when I saw my friend in love and happy. Can’t Hurry Love Will

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not enough love? Now I don’t want to be my father. I’ve said before; love is not a prize. It’s not a timestamp. Love doesn’t come with a price tag. It scares me; sometimes, I don’t know how to love you enough. You’re scared that I don’t love myself. I have my rules 4 & 5 talking about hate keeping you alive. The next, love is worth dying for, which I understand. You know my past, for want, lack, ability love has nearly ended me plenty. I’m still standing.

Brandy sang almost doesn’t count, the song goes. I’m always in music, aren’t I? Funny, I can hear everything, and yet when you say it, baby girl? My “former” boss would say, in one ear and out the other. It’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be; that’s from a song and movie. I should focus more on myself, though. You know, to me, that sounds selfish. I say it often though, I share it with you, and I’m also pretty shallow. Should I apologize, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, should I share more. All of the above is why it took me so long to find you. Twenty seconds of insane courage is nothing. I’m still bragging about the 1500 miles I traveled for a friend. In a drawer, I have bills for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for my Firstborn. Now didn’t I say, love is not a price tag baby doll?

No, love is those moments I head out the door, and I call to him. Not “I love you” or “make good decisions.” I’m like the Terminator “I’ll Be Back,” and I spend every waking moment focused on doing that only. Again and I can’t say it enough, every Saturday I lie here with you for a few hours, and listen to the world end. My nuclear pop music, some TWD gaming, Youtube reactions; you are my Heaven. So what about the other six days: I build the life I love, but I want to share it with you always. I might have spoken to you about my “former” job when I stood up for myself nearly “fighting.” I loved myself regardless of anyone else.

Love’s distance; the bed to mirror; Can’t Hurry Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

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Yes another long nap today and then a fashion shoot courtesy of Amazon shopping and getting some hoots and hollers from the ladies, which was a bit of fun, still I’m looking for what all the fuss was about in the mirror. Looking For Mr. Will now

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but love is a gift. Well, love is plenty of things, to be honest. You know I’m one for music, but I will say that Aloe Blacc’s song “Wake Me Up” annoys me a bit. Not that I’m so tired at this point but more the lyrical content. “Love is the prize” for some reason I don’t agree. When I first met my Firstborn and yeah “our” firstborn, it was love at first sight. I saw this little ball of fluff held by a monster without a trace of fear. Strange that you didn’t think much of me either with our first, and I love you.

Is it me being a fan of Creed, that I could understand. Still, when I saw our child, I found myself thinking, “With Arms Wide Open.” You know, “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands.” I don’t only mean in the looks department, we’ve been down that road before. Someone once said that the more they try to understand women, the less they know. Even with all my business dealings, I share the sentiment. A great man said don’t try because women understand women and they hate each other. You know I love women; well you most of all and my girls. My Firstborn’s wife, I’m still hoping for puppies someday. Anyway to be the man that has all of this; I don’t know, I’m not seeing him in the mirror now.

One woman called me suave. Don’t get jealous, my love. All the songs are going to get me in trouble one day. Jay-Z said males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait. Still surprises me when you get that way. Yeah, I should probably stop talking now. I should be more like Akon; when I was listening to “Never Gonna Get It. Here I am busy modeling, and you know I’m one for hoodies and NaNoWriMo t-shirts. Getting ready for Indiana Gone’s wedding, and I have to get all suave. Beats a few other choice words I could think of this evening. No matter the bank account, though, I’m still going to be the guy in jeans and a hoody. Forever and always I’ll be yours. You know anything though I want to see that guy staring back SIGH someday.

Mr. Will will see you now, Looking For Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

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Well, it wasn’t laziness today, but crippling anxiety and exhaustion; people don’t understand how tiring stupidity can be, and I mean theirs for once, because I wasn’t a minstrel today. Still, I need a fan or two, more; “Will Of Your Life.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but still greedy. What can I say, I want, I need, I love? Am I one of those that can only focus on me, My Love. Once upon a time I had myself a Christian phase. You know, in such faith, God never gets enough love. Now I could never find him, but when I woke up from my comatose nap, you know who I looked up suddenly? Lawrence Welk; I have no clue who that is still. Anyway, back to my phase, I have memories of a song saying something like this, order my steps.

My mother would tell me I would find my way. I would have preferred if she told me to be a Simple Kind Of Man. Yes, you remember when I danced with her at our wedding. There’re several things I want to tell her, but I can’t. You above everyone else should know there are so many things I need to say. You married a writer, a director, and a dreamer. I did a bit too much dreaming this afternoon, but at least it’s not the old day job anymore. Again I need to be a better man than that. I look in the mirror and know I must Carry On My Wayward Son. What can I say? I love being a fanboy of certain things. I love my Firstborn and all of our kids. Even though life is “perfect,” now I still enjoy a good apocalypse and a decent ending. Always know that I love you so much, babydoll.

The point is, when will I be a fan of myself? I don’t know Lawrence Welk, but for some reason I looked him up today. I fell asleep, but I knew my Firstborn would be here and you, of course, but I still ask why. I’m not Dennis Hof (I want to be bigger, though). Christian Grey, I am not close, but that’s years of erotic reading talking. I want to be as comfortable on bookshelves as I am in “Novelty” stores. Still I want to be no I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life. Okay I should turn the music off, but yeah, that was Lawrence Welk’s thing. Mine would be loving you because somehow I found you one day, but were you waiting, or were you searching?

Loving you knew, I was the Will Of Your Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

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Last week I talked about my work or the job I want, but still, a man needs some downtime like today where I curled up in the covers and slept the rest of the day away; no I’m not sick but lazy? “Women Worry Waking Will” and my kid

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but mostly because I want to sleep. Don’t get me wrong; I won’t say you didn’t have something to do with the bedding selection. Next to a wedding ring, a bed should be something you know about who you spend your life with My Love. You can ask my Firstborn and his never-ending quest for comfy spots. A great man once said “What’s the point getting into bed alone?” Why all the bed talk; has today been so tiring? Yeah, a bit and I’m still hiding under the covers for now.

I could tell you all about waiting for my dream girl. The circle is now complete ha. Still, isn’t it ironic as the song goes, you’re the reason I want to wake up? At the same time, what you do for love can be exhausting. Here I am worried about beds when I should also invest in alarm clocks. At present, I have five still because I don’t want to waste a single second. Okay granted what about days like this like momma said? I promise it wasn’t even music today but audiobooks. You, my Firstborn, our other children, are the only ones I don’t mind breaking me out of my revelry. I say it all the time on Saturday I could just lay here with you and just forget the world. Nah, we’ll still be here together listening to Nuclear Pop. The thing is though Audible isn’t as bad as I thought, just saying.

Yeah, saying or doing anything from my nice warm bed. Besides the obvious when I look at you. My work, my woman, and my wee little puppy man. Now I can go Disney’s Aladdin and show you the world. There are days I need to be right here, lost in YouTube and movies. I don’t think I’ve eaten much today, but I’m not sick. Some part of me wants to say you don’t have to worry. However I kind of like it, and I’m not one to come down with the flu. Would you mind one more song, My Love:

“there’s nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you.”
Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie & The Blowfish

Yes, the best part of staying in bed, my world is here SIGH. So is Twilight and The Handmaid’s Tale. Sometimes Women Worry Waking Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

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I refuse to have a woman that doesn’t know what I do, this isn’t Lord Of War; of all the “Sin Stocks” I’ve studied, weapons don’t sit well with me “says the man that wants an armory” I got a crazy little thing called love. Woman’s Will Is Complicated

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not Toby from roots. Well, you know I agree with him on the “I’m never going to be a Christian man.” I’m a writer My Love, I don’t bow to gods, I create them. At the same time, I’m one for the Ghetto Gospel of Tupac. So many men to listen to, is it any wonder I chose my business. Eric Thomas says that what he does, you can’t go to school and get that. My teachers as I say often enough, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner have passed. Larry Flynt was shot when he started. Others have been arrested or scare me in some ways.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
Tupac Shakur Ghetto Gospel

Now usually I don’t like to talk about my business dealings. Yeah, I know I don’t like to talk period. Hell, I want to know what makes my Firstborn happy. I never want my kids to fear me as I do my father. Asking for your father’s blessing? SIGH, because asking his permission, wait, aren’t I a traditionalist? If I asked my father for life, well after I arrive, it would be something like Independence Day. My mother, on the other hand, she wouldn’t approve of my path at all. The thing is she would never stop me either. At least I hope so, as the song goes, be a simple kind of man. If I may play you another “I wanna know what turns you on.” Okay you know how I am with my music, how about a joke? Eve was the first woman to decide what she wanted to eat… look how that turned out. Okay, I tried.

My lifestyle is listening to women, but my life is listening to you. I want to lead my family, but like everything else, I’ll admit, I have no idea what I’m doing. Like I tell my friends all the time, I don’t want to be STUPID, and I definitely don’t want to look that way. So I refer everyone to Washington, Lincoln, Franklin. I watch some other creators. Only as my motivations would say, the power lies in taking responsibility. I do, isn’t that what I told everybody, and if you think I talk about our wedding too much? Hell, again, my business of creating what I desire and let’s say the law of attraction.

Only do you love me always, Woman’s Will Is Complicated.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 078 ~Will Be High Later~

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Last week I talked about not getting drunk, but I knew a drug dealer here or there that kept me high if I wasn’t off flying to some beautiful angel walking down the hall; I swear Love is a hell of a drug. Will Be High Later.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Log 078 ~Will Be High Later~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I don’t do “those” drugs. Remind me to give the kids the don’t do drugs speech. Anyway from being lit to getting high; aren’t those synonyms? Okay, not the point I’m trying to make today. My love, an upper to me, is being able to look into your eyes. It’s looking at what I’m trying to build without being afraid. I’m the man that you can gaze at without any shame. I want the children to see me on career day and be proud to say, everyone that’s my father.

Can’t say though I’ll be invited to those if teachers know what I do in life. Hell, you know what I do and how it makes me feel so alive. It’s higher than any faith, but you are “My Goddess.” I Believe In A Thing Called Love as the song goes. Okay, I’m turning the music down. You know I get high when I’m carrying my firstborn around or any of the kids. Still, I remember the days I had to lift him when anything threatening came around. Now that’s when I became the big man, the father, the warrior, and who would want to let that go. Power in the hands of someone else and of course you know where I can go with that my love. I wonder did I run faster, running away from you or trying to reach you. Talk about Walking Tall; yeah I can do movies too baby girl.

My point is I can think of a lot of reasons to raise my head. There are things that I want to see in this life. Yes, my love a reason to get high. I want to be a better man, and yes, I should do that for myself, of course. You know that quote about knowing strength when there is no other choice. I got high again when I had to protect my boy on walks. Every day I stand whether I’m facing the camera or behind it, and I know what I have to do no doubt. I still remember when I stood right next to you on that day, we became a family. The highest I’ve ever been, down the road I’ve ever been down is when I took a step towards you and the future. Yes Love, Will Be High Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 071 ~When Will Got Lit~

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When you’re running for your life, drinking falls to the wayside, though I was high for obvious reasons in school; nothing has got me going more than love and where is the rehab to that? When Will Got Lit, Edward Cullen, a girl is my brand of heroin.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Log 071 ~When Will Got Lit~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and still not much of a drinker. Yes, I am a rich man, “Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.” Can’t say I’ve ever seen Fiddler On The Roof all the way. Speaking of my weirdness, why do we own a wine cellar again and wow a vineyard? I’m a little Drunk On You; okay, I’ll stop, but my point is you want to know what lights me up? Of course, you’ve always known. One morning I’m getting up and about to fall back asleep and bam, like thunder, lightning.

Things I love more than pop culture references? My firstborn, of course, but he would wait forever. Our other children but I’m not one for weekend sports. I suppose I get it, why so many fans drink. If they do play a game though I hope it’s track. Anyway, again, the concept is I want them to be passionate about something in life. I got a refresher of that today. I remember when email was all the rage? So I’m falling asleep, and I get this message, and it reminds me of you. Now all I need do is look behind me, but the last thing on my mind would be working. The idea is I thought of those times I would get your messages. When my first book started selling, and I sat there like Forrest Gump watching the numbers. We don’t have to worry about money no more.

I was high when I first started my business which was more than writing. You know that quote from Marilyn Monroe about making a girl laugh? I might sound like a greedy so and so, but I get mesmerized by bullion. The green of dollars puts a smile on my face. Do you want to place a bigger smile on my face? It was living my dream. For years it was the same, sitting at the beach typing up a storm, watching you and the children play. You’re the only thing that can pull me away from my work. Lastly, it was the day that we became one. On that day, when you said, “I do,” love is a hell of a drug baby girl. I sound like a zombie focused on my phone or your body, my beautiful wife. My motivations today said stay hungry but looking at you, that’s When Will Got Lit.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

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Snap, Crackle, and Pop, I’m not one for Rice Krispies, though I do like the treats, I’m one for quiet unless I’m working on something I love and no I hate my current day job but one day life will be Poppin’. So What’s Poppin’ Will

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Log 064 ~So What’s Poppin’ Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but way back then it was popcorn. Strange that when I went to the movies alone, I never bought it a whole lot. Sometimes I got it for “free” with all my Regal movie points. “THEY,” say that the movies are never a good first date option. You want to know a person, look at how they react to specific films. Is that why I’m talking to you today, Tuesday is our usual. Well, surprise though I don’t mainly take to them. Unless you were talking about a surprise party or new addition, four legs, two?

I don’t pop up for most horror movies. If you want to know what scares me; what pops up in my selections. You might be the second woman in my life that hasn’t run away. Of course, you could deal with Star Wars, Young Adult adaptations, zombies. Then there’s the business and my love for B movies some Sci-Fi. I have two words for you; um nevermind. What about what you find on the bookshelf? Yeah, I had to build a library for us. I will always remain that father who reads to his kids. Again though the business, how I started out writing. If my hands aren’t on the keys or the pen, then what about my snacking habits. I’m like Morgan from TWD and FTWD; I don’t die. You know I eat healthy like Braves Peanuts. Still, I have lived off popcorn at home and sour gummies. There’s the occasional chocolate when my firstborn is with his siblings.

From pops, you might not like to mine. Fireworks for example and I don’t know why. Even before my firstborn; July 4th while respected is not a favorite. Any other night I want to look at the stars with you. I’ll look for aliens but you the fireworks for V For Vendetta. Of course, I’m a Pop Culture “enthusiast” but Are You The One on MTV, please. Reality TV short of wrestling. Yeah, remind me to record them. Now Game of Thrones and The Handmaid’s Tale, wow. Perhaps this will be another surprising moment. I want to go to the coast, but I can’t swim. Other than a hot shower or bath, water is not for me. Still, even at my age everything I am snap, crackles and pops for you, So What’s Poppin’ Will.

I Will Have No Fear