Lesson 055 ~Don’t Think of Elephants~

Why isn’t the elephant, king of the jungle, at this rate, I might as well become one of those people that collect cats but as always I prefer my dog if anything he knows when to shut up? Don’t Think of Elephants, how about a mouse

Friday, August 25, 2017

Lesson 055 ~Don’t Think of Elephants~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but more depression, I’m trying honestly I am and some moments I can zone out completely and forget and others… not to piss off the religious but my head burns so much I feel like I’m wearing a thorny crown. I should also mention I’m not breaking my rule of “Stop Crying Your Heart Out”; vanity comes to mind but there is no heart involved if anything it is sort of taking a vaccine perhaps.

“Okay, this is me, planting an idea in your mind. I say: don’t think about elephants. What are you thinking about?

Elephants?” – Inception (2010)

As the song goes Lady Lu “I Want to Be Sedated”, I’ve actually been looking up how to forget, how sad is that; don’t they say an elephant never forgets? Not that I am one for fraternities or sororities but my mother and sister both pledged and elephants are sort of their thing, that’s a fun fact I suppose for me. Anyway, the fact is the elephant in the room and you know I like animals more than most people so is that why I’m allowing myself to be crushed.

The thing is I’m not Ava Jerome (General Hospital), another rule “I Take My Own Lumps” she got burned, literally but still refuses to accept responsibility, no Lu, I take all the pain and own up but yes it can be a bit much, I just got to take it and I’ll survive until next year; hell can’t I just become a monk? The internet is one big minefield but elephant crap is quite easy to avoid and so I have but I still have to get this stink off. You know something this metaphor is working rather well, that’s something else I have thankfully been thinking about, my budding upgrades in my writing soon.

If I ever get around to it of course, at work I’m already cracking, told “Big Brother” I’ve been better and even worked an extra hour just because. Idle hands are the devil’s playthings but let’s not forget, the mind is a terrible thing to waste; where are the zombies?

Maybe it would help if I just shut up about it but I think it’s like poison, it’s a virus, you can lie down and let it rot you to the core or you can fight, and keep fighting, endure and survive. I said it before, it begins to define you, can’t say I’ve ever been a victim of racial profiling but back in school, how I kept the bullies at bay was the concept of madness, they left me alone merely on the thoughts of what I could do.

When my family cut me off a few years back I sat in an extended stay hotel, that smelt like bleach for twenty-four hours just… I don’t know, and maybe I didn’t eat or drink a thing for about forty-eight hours after. You know what happened, not a damn thing, keep in mind my parents didn’t care, I didn’t have any friends or family that could help “M Anime” is far away and Braxton was with my folks (no dogs allowed) in the place. Keep in mind Lady Lu, my father thought I was dangerous to the family, the most damage I had ever done to anyone was to myself, they were afraid and life went on for everybody else while I sat in a room for three days willing myself to just disappear completely.

“What was done to me was monstrous.

And they created a monster.” V for Vendetta

It’s like a kid who blames himself or herself for their parents, you begin to imagine that you truly are some sort of creature, omen, that you’re bad and it festers and then everybody wants to know what happened. It’s like being Tomoko from the anime “GTO: Great Teacher Onizuka” you make a mistake and then another, and another soon you can’t help yourself and it becomes your life, Tomoko has many friends though. Probably what scares me the most though is Hunter and Evie from Skye Warren’s “Wanderlust” he was framed for a crime he didn’t commit but the reputation of his crime followed.

“Nothing is wrong with me! I just don’t want to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to me.” Max, Finding Carter (2014)

All these pop culture references, gives me a reason to search the internet; anyway my point is it is these people who call you these things, decide you’re these things, make you these things, cry foul and then live their lives in perfect contentment not once thinking of somebody that they use to know. Oh and another fact, I’ll never call one of those lifelines again, cops at the house and in less than twenty minutes I’m stuffing everything I own into my car driving to a hotel because nobody gave a shit about the elephant in the room me.

“I feel like some elephant who accidentally got assigned to the penguin house. It’s so obvious that I’m an elephant, but people keep coming up to me with a clipboard and saying, “Hmm, you know, according to this, you’re a… you’re actually a penguin.” Finding Carter (The Ever Embarrassed Elf)

The more things change the more, they stay the same, I have a few friends though only one sort of gets me, Braxton, of course, counts as family and doesn’t care what I am as long as I’m with him. For now, since I’m still out to find what I am, it doesn’t matter what they say, terrifies me I’m writing about this but I’m a writer, that is all.

“Being afraid all of the time, of forgetting somebody’s name, not, not knowing… what to do with your hands. I mean, I, I am the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there’s a party. And then, when he finally gets there, he winds up alone, in the corner, trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant.

You’re just shy, Barclay.

Just shy… Sounds like nothing serious – doesn’t it? You can’t know.” – Hollow Pursuits, Star Trek: The Next Generation (1990)

“I Will Have No Fear” right Luna if you knew how many times writing has brought me to ruin and yet I keep doing it, already I can imagine my father. The thing is everybody would have me remain that mouse in the corner, do mice really scare elephants, something to be considered. I’m writing this down right now, a reason I am a writer is that I have to deal with fewer people, however…

I guess it doesn’t matter in the end, life goes on what a headache, at least I haven’t been hearing anything from a makeshift peanut gallery. Is this why I’m writing later and later, breaking yet another rule or I’m just being lazy, work, excuses, yeah I’ll shut up, get up and write and here I am. I’ve even been avoiding reading a pretty decent book, about someone who got hurt in the past, now where have I heard that?

So what have I learned besides the fact, that I can’t get this elephant out of the room, my head and I have no intention of becoming an ivory trader? Maybe I would rather be a mouse than a man, better to be a live chicken than a dead duck but Don’t Think of Elephants.

I Will Have No Fear

Going Somewhere Cupid

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT4OFEB8uyE

And if I had someplace to be
Buying a bouquet of flowers
that you’d never see
What… they’d die in an hour
Go to Rock Hard Mr. Jeweler
You’ll love me like you do
For what would be cooler…
maybe, I could give it to you
If I had the courage to

be going somewhere
Instead, run boy run… but why
Because I’m shy, no… I’m scared
Petrified, when you’re such a wonderful surprise
Only you’re not in my red room
You’re not mine, tragic
With “him” I’ll assume
Never mine to ravish
Me you’d never choose

But wouldn’t it be nice…
Suppose I might never know
Because this place is not quite paradise
To find you I might have to go
Holding my breath, when I slip you a note
I don’t want to run that fast
Don’t want to scare you… I hope
Then love has already passed
When the stars go blue

will you stay with me, or be right here waiting there
In your lingerie… someday
Well I won’t be no runaway
My heart’s not going anywhere

When you’re too close to care

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Babydoll a.k.a. Emily Browning… Sucker Punch, “Rock Hard Mr. Jeweler” by Will Bradford Jr, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Woodkid “Run Boy Run”, Shawn Hlookoff “Wonderful Surprise”, The Beach Boys “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”, Bliss 66 “Not Quite Paradise”, The Corrs ft. Bono “When The Stars Go Blue”, Sam Smith “Stay With Me”, Richard Marx “Right Here Waiting”, Sugar Ray “Someday”, The National “Runaway” and a preview of “Beyond Ruin” by Kit Rocha

Retired Feelings

As the song goes… too young to fall in love but I’m too old to be this afraid, to be a virgin, or to be all alone in the world. Retired Feelings, surely the pieces of my heart must be dust by now and if not what am I, lonely man at 31 or a dirty perv

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJsQvN_CFlM

And not speaking of desire
Doesn’t that make me a liar?
A courageous man would inquire
Be creative or even inspired
Instead, I perspire
Until I’m much too tired
Yet you love me like you do, the night entire
As Cupid and the other gods conspire
Forever alone prior
To the day I expire
Can I be anymore shyer?
Dreaming of a girl on fire
Instead, I stand right beside her
My heart much too young to retire

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Babydoll a.k.a. Emily Browning… Sucker Punch, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, and “The Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins

Try and Love the Air

She won’t know that I’m there… sounds a bit creepy but I mean she won’t notice the real me because the things I want don’t make for polite conversation or work when she actually wants me. Try and Love the Air… or is it better not to be shy?

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LhuxJTYiKA

Almost, maybe, not so shy
Shall I tell you this time?
How beautiful, how wonderful, hot, sexy, fine?
Yeah if you were mine
“Umm you know I…”

Well I’m still breathing *sigh*
I watch you walk away again today
You always take my breath away
Is that why I can’t ask you to stay
Dream lover, I close my eyes

Just thinking, someday I’m going to be that guy
“And”, you heard me… don’t say I love you
Zoning out… can I tell you the truth
Maybe you would love me like you do
Insanity but everyone says hi
Now, I guess I’ll have to try
Either I’ll be alone or my, my, my

Someday… “morning”, “hi”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Oh my God!”
A bit from the Marquis de Sade
Silence sounds better that goodbye

So I keep it all locked up inside, the shy guy, the nice guy, my art of getting by

Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.

Inspired By: Princess Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca… Final Fantasy XII, Lenny Kravitz “Again”, Bobby Darin “Dream Lover”, Simple Plan “I’d Do Anything”, Enemy At The Gates (2001), Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, Young Beautiful in a Hurry ft. Fyfe Monroe “Everyone Says Hi”, (David Bowie Cover), Jimmy Cliff “Many Rivers To Cross”, Johnny Gill “My, My, My”, Sugar Ray “Someday”, “Morning Hi” by Will Bradford Jr, Marquis de Sade, and “The Art of Getting By” (2011)

Turn Me

The world turns us every day but we never really think about it but a petty girl, a feeling, a lover can spin us around in so many ways, be it to catch a kiss, to stay, to play and so on. Turn Me, with something as simple as a smile and I become

It might be my turn

Yeah, but are you still waiting

For the words I’m not saying

Pretending I don’t know


There’s so much left to learn

As if I’ll turn off the edge of the world

Only you’re right there girl

Doesn’t stop me from falling though

because I can’t see the edge

So why not stay in bed


I might fail to return

But I’m wide awake

One step, two, another, okay

There you go

Who knew that angels could land?

Yet I can barely stand


Talk to her… talk to her

Pretty, beautiful, just say something

“Hey, I was wondering…”

Love stories; yeah I think so

Someday you, me, we, yes please


Or so I yearn

To see you turn my way

And say


Stay with me


Because I know it’s my turn

To frown… to smile… I love… you knew

Love me like you do

From head to toe


Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.


Inspired by: Brittany Anne Pirtle – Emily… Power Rangers Samurai, Seether Ft. Amy Lee “Broken”, Glee Cast “Wide Awake” (Katy Perry), Johnny Gill “There You Go”, A Great Big World Ft. Christina Aguilera “Say Something”, Sugar Ray “Someday”, Sam Smith “Stay With Me”, and Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack


See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxRSqUqTSG0

Brittany Anne Pirtle - Emily… Power Rangers Samurai (Turn Me)

Clearing My Heart

It’s not like I’m going to actually talk… I clear my throat to say nothing at all so indeed what is the point. Clearing My Heart… why not just break it again and it will be empty soon enough right? The words never come from my mouth anyway.

See Me Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JvzxwmTs18


Em, ahem,

Let me try this again

But of course I never say

I dream of three little words

If only I could say one to you girl

And it wouldn’t be about me

Because there is nothing I

want more than to say hi


Only how, I wish em, ahem

Just I don’t want to be him

Flunking recess because I don’t play

Just you stand there waiting

Do you need help translating?

How I wish that you could see

that I am barely breathing

Isn’t that the best kind of dreaming?


Exhausted from, em, ahem, when…

Well isn’t love a sin;

yesterday, last night, today,

when not in word form?

Still I have yet to perform


you’ll love me like you do?

If it’s ever right, can I say something to you?


Copyright © 2015 Second Circle Creations, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.


Inspired by: Brittany Anne Pirtle – Emily… Power Rangers Samurai, ItsReal85 on WorldStarHipHop “Turtles Episode 10”, “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E. L. James, Duncan Sheik “Barely Breathing”, Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do” Fifty Shades of Grey Soundtrack, and A Great Big World Ft. Christina Aguilera “Say Something”

Brittany Anne Pirtle - Emily… Power Rangers Samurai (Clearing My Heart)