Category: Dear Future Wife

Lesson 157 ~With Honey I’m Home~

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When I say hello to most people it’s a little obligation and when I say goodbye to those people there is nothing good about it, I genuinely wish I’ll never see the likes of them ever again, but when I first said hello to her. With Honey I’m Home

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Lesson 157 ~With Honey I’m Home~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, though honey I’m home seems a bit cliché, but so many hours talking to people I wouldn’t waste a hello on but with you, do I owe it to you or do I just love you so? On the other hand, I don’t tell you goodbye either, when it’s just the dog, and I ask him to be good, I remind him I’ll be back, to think when I take a step to leave him I’m heading back home already.

I know I’m not the most energetic person, “Good Morning” person, or have a good day, the walking in the house type of person, you’re here, so I’m happy, I don’t lie, and the last time I checked I live here. Maybe someday I’ll be greeted with “daddy, daddy” the children will regale us with stories of a better world, I’ll always read them stories before and bed and tell them goodnight before I find my way to you love. Goodbye though, the words have never bothered me because with you there is just no such thing, I’ll see you later, I’ll be back, how about I love you *sigh*?

Maybe I have high hopes for the world or higher aspirations for us that I can walk in and find you lying on our couch or in our bed and just snuggle up next to you? My name on your lips as you hold me close or we see each other next, for once that is something I would look forward to because everyone else just wants to take me away. In the morning or n the night, three little words are all I require if that because you’ll be the first thing I see when I wake and the last as I rest, who needs another cliché, just saying?

If anything I need to ask how I’ll speak to you at all, will it just be hello, hi, hey, Ha Ha, yeah my vocabulary is somewhat limited and honey… nah I can’t picture myself saying that though it would be nicer when strangers become friends and friends become lovers. Your name will mean so much, and beautiful will, of course, have a new meaning in the dictionary, but for now, I’m only trying to make my way to you.

When we’re together though; okay, one cliché, home is where the heart is so maybe when I find you there the first time, that’s the first and last time I’ll start With Honey I’m Home.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 150 ~To Reshape The World~

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If you asked me the last time I took a vacation, give me books, my warm bed, at most a trip to the movies, why do I need to go anywhere else, besides the fact that I might want to find her so the both of us can run away together. To Reshape The World

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Lesson 150 ~To Reshape The World~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, live brave, for what could dare stop us if we’re together, as the song goes:

“And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you.”
the song Something Stupid

Which makes jumping out of an airplane look pretty sane if you ask me, and it might ask scare you to ask me more. Indeed I may scare myself. Don’t get me wrong the sight of you in a bikini as we lounge around on the beach, the sight of you before my eyes at all is a trip to paradise to be sure honestly.

If I don’t remind you enough, you’re an angel, a goddess, sitting on the couch watching a movie with you does the trick, as I would call you as they did in Willow “you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” my choice in movies right? How about my choice in adventures, I’m not the biggest fan of “Lord of The Rings” or “The Hobbit” but going to New Zealand is something I never imagined I could do or would do, but when I’m with you… While everything says I wish that the bed was just a little bit bigger there is a lot of Earth out there and please don’t make me burst into Aladdin my love because you know I just might.

We’ll go to Disney World and Disneyland, and I’d like to think we’ll be those types of parents too, and here I don’t want to be like everyone else, but maybe I’m still a traditionalist or just a middle-class American. We might even escape together somewhere far away, travel the world, I’m not sure, but I want to be with you through it all and don’t they say that home is where the heart is? I could write from anywhere but isn’t the point that I’ll have my hands somewhere else than my keyboard, pen, tearing my hair out constantly.

I want to hold your hand as we walk every inch of this world, I want to see you before the greatest wonders of this place and still delight that I find not one of them, as amazing, as beautiful, as love, like you. I want to be with you in every way I can have you as if we’re telling “this one time at band camp,” stories just everywhere else. Could it be that I just want to show you off, would that be such a bad thing, maybe I just want to be sure that I’m the luckiest person alive as with our mere presence in it, the two of us may begin somehow To Reshape The World.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 143 ~You Want A Medal~

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The dog needs me around though I don’t know why he stays, maybe he sees something I don’t and nobody else does but maybe someday “she” might or so I ask myself why I still believe. You Want A Medal, maybe something pretty, three little words, a ring?

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Lesson 143 ~You Want A Medal~

Dear Future Wife:
No Fear, for that alone you probably deserve one, though I don’t know if I would be quite pleased or somewhat worried because you might be just a little bit crazier than I an. Do I need the incentive to love you, no but should I explain why I do, I suppose it’s indeed fortunate that you chose to love a writer but do I have all the time in the world?

I’m sure I will tell you every day, not just because I want to or need to, so many words in the English language and I can’t help but wonder who chose those three but why will I say then, because you’re you… Could I do just as well with I want you, I need you, I believe in you, would I want you to explain such things to me and what would be your incentive? I wish I could do as Elton John and write you a song or any of the plethora of things he mentions and I will do what I can do regardless but to quote another song “fear is the heart of love” scary huh?

The things any man would do to keep you and yet here I am the one and I think you’ll have to do everything in your power to stop me. Take my hand in yours to stop me from buying pretty much everything your heart desires because how I want to believe it is me… You’ll have to shut me up with kisses, who knows, on one hand, you’ll be saving my life because my heart might be right out of my chest and on the other I can’t breathe.

You give me everything reason to love you and I’ll always believe that you deserve more, I’ll reach for you in the night, I’ll tremble, when the house settles I’ll still worry not about some bill collector, or thief, well maybe the woman who stole my heart. How some think calling a man a dog is a bad thing, I might always have this thing they call puppy love for you, hopeless devoted, so sad.

Already I don’t know if that’s too much or not enough but after all, you are still here beside me and I just have to ask, You Want A Medal?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 136 ~Today Was A Fairytale~

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It’s a love story baby just say… Will, no I’ll probably be the one that has to write it until I find her hand in mind at least for a little while. “Today Was A Fairytale”, at least the day I wrote about for a moment

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Lesson 136 ~Today Was A Fairytale~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear for I cannot say I’m an avid reader of newspapers, the internet constantly bombards with the headlines “the world is getting worse” … I suppose that’s why I chose to write about beautiful things. At least I will try but there isn’t a word for you, and though I attempt to pick out your qualities in my library, I attempt to mimic the words of Shakespeare, Neruda, and Rumi, whatever is a man to do?

I Love You should be enough but somehow it seems never to be enough to be with you and just say that and maybe that’s why I’ll always be reading. Now I can pick every dark erotica I know but why is it that I’ll be the Peeta to your Katniss, Tobias to your Tris, Dante to your Beatrice, Evan to your Cassie, don’t spoil it I’ve only read The 5th Wave and seen the movie. Maybe that’s what this love is, I’ve seen the movie but I want to know the book, the series, every word, line, empty space that is you and that’s what makes love complicated right?

I hope the world will get better but I think I will introduce our kids to stories of courage, bravery, of a world less mad than this one but I can’t say I will be a fairytale father with a princess or a prince unless we count Star Wars. Maybe there is a story here or there that I remember from a sliver of my childhood “Corduroy” by Don Freeman for example. We’ll never be the type to be Fahrenheit 451 unless we’re reading it and maybe my work will change at some point, though you might have a Hell of a time convincing me not to burn it, every so often, good luck huh?

Not even The Bible, though this isn’t a hotel room, even then much like Lord of the Flies or The Moonstone, three books I could never finish, nothing will be as forbidden as my own work in the end really. If anything I look forward to the day the words will flow so easily from my heart to my fingers and more importantly my tongue.

If you ever need a reminder of that, it might actually be the first nonfiction piece I’ve ever written but now Today Was A Fairytale.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 129 ~Know You Mean Will~

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I know you mean well when it comes to me, sometimes I even hate the sound of mind own name but “Will I Love You” would honestly be pretty new for me. “Know You Mean Will” but there are other things I just can’t deal with, even from a lover.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Lesson 129 ~Know You Mean Will~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear and I know you mean Will I love you but there are some things you need not do, though you probably will and it will break my heart to see that I hurt you in some way. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, dreaming of breakfast in bed with you, when all I will ever need is you by my side every morning, everything else will be anxiety after we leave; I’ve never been one for coffee but tea helps.

While I will spend every day of my life loving you, there is one we never need to discuss, if anything that day led to us being together but the first day of my life… It’s just not to be celebrated in any way, I know you look at your own as a blessing perhaps, I’d be counting my lucky stars if you felt the same but the hope of being with you is enough. Just one day out of the year I wish I could forget and while I long for three little words, there are two words on that day that don’t exist.

Am I a fool for letting you into my head, if anything love is insanity and so let’s lose our minds together and not worry about everything else. I don’t remember a vow saying we need fix one another, but rather for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and I don’t plan on leaving you anytime soon. My father, however… you and I have a family of our own, a bigger one someday, whatever will I tell the dog but while I respect your father and ask for his blessing, not permission, that irks me for some reason, you needn’t concern yourself with my family “Issues”, you got them too as the song plays on and on.

Don’t tell me it’s going to be okay, I know I would never lie to you and you wouldn’t to me and I know you will mean “Will, it’s all going to be okay” but those are words I can never believe. Even if I ask you a million times are you okay I don’t know if I will ever be but tell me you’re here, tell me the world will end and you’ll still be with me, tell me the truth or say nothing at all, just wrap your arms around me and stay.

Because I will know my love, this I will believe, and my love I do truly Know You Mean Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 122 ~Future Wife, The Musical~

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Sometimes I can barely speak and you want me to sing, though I wouldn’t mind being some businessman in a karaoke bar at some point. Future Wife, The Musical, I wish there was music so I would know I’m getting close to finding her.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Lesson 122 ~Future Wife, The Musical~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear but maybe if I met you when I was younger, and I can’t promise you won’t hear me in the shower, or when I’m attempting to cut the grass, there was even a point where I attempted to be a songwriter and I’ve only written a song once for a girl. I’d write a song for you but I would probably have someone else sing it for sure, and yet for you to sing to me would be so wonderful.

I’m sure I’ve said it before but my absolute favorite thing is to just lie in bed on a Saturday morning just for two or three hours and listen to 40’s-50’s nuclear war tunes. If I’m not quoting movies “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” I’ll usually quote songs and really what are we doing if we aren’t seeking a friend for the end of the world. Is that my way of telling you that I’ll love you forever, I’m sure there are plenty of songs that will tell you that much.

Unless Ellie Goulding comes walking down the street and then I might be out the door… what can I say I’m a fool for a siren, a songstress, and a good video game medley. Everything but gospel although I do have a song from Building 429… what did you think I was hiding, this or that but yeah if you check my phone I’ll probably have some weird playlist. Sometimes talking just seems like so much noise, no not you but others and I look forward to the day that we can ignore people together with our earphones, walking together.

Discovering you will be like discovering my favorite song, my favorite playlist, and I suppose our taste will evolve together. I talk of singing but what about dancing, I’m not sure when in public but I remember being on the side of the road and dancing to “Drunk On You.

I imagine the song that will be you to me and me to you, I wonder what song we may call ours at one point. Most of all I just want your voice because what can honestly be more beautiful than three little words I long to hear from you.

If anything I’ll ask you to play that song for me, it ain’t “Easy Street” but Future Wife, The Musical.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 115 ~I’m So Damn Hot~

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Beautiful might be a better word, how about gorgeous, cute, pretty, or what have you, but it’s been a long time since I have been lovesick, felt passion, heat, or anything else. “I’m So Damn Hot” or maybe that’s just been the weather lately

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Lesson 115 ~I’m So Damn Hot~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear but before you think I have a big head or I lack the confidence to say such a thing, to quote Olaf “I like warm hugs”; I’m not exactly a Disney nerd but that movie isn’t going anywhere. Neither and I for the most part, no I’m not leaving you, for shame, what I mean is I’m more of a stay in, curl up with a good book, warm super soup belly, mug of tea, movie fanatic guy, just saying.

Good thing I married you because I ‘d be damned if I let you steal one of my hoodies, though I’ll admit it looks good on you and I suppose we’ll have to talk about the thermostat situation. I love the heat but need the cold to sleep, I’m somewhat cold-blooded and not just in video games… I did mention being a nerd right? I was born up north but I’m pretty much a southern boy, though I could see myself in California, someday, a private beach or a wooded glen, away from something that burns me up, which would be most people being honest.

Someplace the fire department would have a hell of a time finding… sounds ominous, just my way of saying I don’t cook, though I know a girl here or there that would have a difference of opinion. If it wasn’t for a microwave and you I suppose I would have starved a long time ago. You know things are bad when the dog hides under the bed or suddenly wants out of the house any moment I turn on the stove or look at the oven or crockpot. Speaking of getting out of the house, I do enjoy going on hikes, not that I have anything against long walks on the beach but what’s best is just sitting next to you, playing footsy in the lake, reading that collection of poetry I finally got around to writing, when that’d happen?

Your arms around me, hot showers, and doing things that should get us both sent straight to Hell but to quote a song, “It’s Only Love”. If it is a Hell-worthy trespass for wanting you the way I do, needing you more than anything else, feeling the way I do and especially if you feel the same way well, at least we’ll be together hmm?

If anything I’ll always burn for you, “I’ll Melt With You” because you’re so damn hot, I’m so damn hot.

“She’s mad but she’s magic. There’s no lie in her fire.”
― from Charles Bukowski

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 108 ~And Maybe I Snore~

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To someone so I won’t have to dream alone someday, that is when I do dream; sleep, more like the walking dead these days and I’m looking for that perfect zombie apocalypse partner. And Maybe I Snore but I haven’t had anyone to tell me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Lesson 108 ~And Maybe I Snore~

Dear Future Wife,
It’s a valid question if I snore or not, I’m sure before we take such a step you’ll have plenty of chances to learn the truth of this. I can tell you with utmost certainty that I sleep like a log, I get up for two things in no particular order, work, the dog, and you, any other time I’ll probably be dead to the whole world.

People can be exhausting but with you, as corny as this might sound, you have to be the dream, honestly, as much as I sleep I don’t find many opportunities to dream because I’m searching for you and when we’re together… I don’t want to miss a thing and no I don’t sing in my sleep and I’m pretty sure I don’t talk, at least the last time I recall I woke up rattling off cheat codes to Star Wars: Rogue Squadron. I think you’re pretty used to the quiet when it comes to me, more than a quirk, or a habit, a necessity because yes, people take a lot out of me but you…

On one hand, I would say you wake me up to everything in this world and I’ll never get bored and on the other, you can find both my love and my trust in you as I lie here. There is only one other who has ever known this and you’ll find him at the foot of the bed curled up, standing guard, or simply watching TV when I’m out like a light or trying to read. Sharing my bed, I swear that dog must trust you, he’ll get used to you, and he sleeps as much as I do, I can’t help but wonder what he’ll do with you around and me lying here.

I have always imagined that we’ll have lots more to do but nothing makes me happier than to lie here next to you, reading until we can’t hold up a book, watching a movie and knowing we’ll have to watch the whole thing tomorrow, or listening to our playlist on a Saturday morning for a few hours. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy being in bed for other things and you won’t ever have to worry about a cup of coffee, though I’ll buy you a machine if you like, I’ve never been one to indulge myself.

And maybe I snore, I’m still waiting to confirm that but I look forward to the day we find out, someday, how long until then?

Lesson 101 ~Sometimes I Love You~

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Sometimes it’s smart to keep my mouth shut when it comes to women, especially a woman I haven’t even found yet, maybe she would think I’m insane. “Sometimes I Love You”, and better she never knows but then again as the song goes more than words.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Lesson 101 ~Sometimes I Love You~

Dear Future Wife,
Sometimes I love you for not making me say it; it’s not that I don’t, it’s not that I don’t want to, need to, if anything I want to believe that those three words matter but they’ll be lost. How can they be lost, I love your inquisitive mind but again it might be too much, just too damn much somedays and I want to say I’m sorry right off the bat.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story

You leave me breathless, that much is true, but sometimes it’s going to be them and no I don’t mean other women… I mean people in general. There will be days when I love you is just me finding my way to the bed we share rather than wanting to be alone. It might be when my voice gives out from singing so loud that my voice gives out, drowning in so many cruel words.

“But everyone knows that a man ain’t suppose to cry, listen.
I gotta cry ’cause cryin’ eases the pain, oh yeah.
People this hurt I feel inside, words can never explain.”
I Wish It Would Rain, by The Temptations (1967)

If I allow you to ever see me like that then is that love or what and it’s okay you don’t have to say anything either because sometimes I don’t have faith in words, yes this coming from a writer you made your husband. You might not hear me, as much as I mutter, and with that inquisitive mind you might want to ask questions, I might even be afraid to answer; the truth will set you free… of the mortal coil. I’m not a drinker, of course, you know that but if I ever pull out a glass or decide to fire up the PS3 or PS4, god knows what number we’re on now, I will return to you a better man and you’re more than welcome to wait.

I’ve left you waiting for a while I think because I’m still looking for the words and “I Love You” let’s just say those words came to soon, too late or were simply wasted and I never would with you, with us, I think the dog will attest to that. They will even be a day I’ll love you for bringing those words out of me as only you can, for being “the air that I breathe” as the song goes from The Hollies, remember.

How I love how you sing to me and you love when I talk to you and believe me when I say, that it is never a sometimes I love you between us, it’s an always unless the following girls walk by just kidding unless… okay, for letting me be me, sometimes I love you because you make me better.