Tag: Health

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could tell everyone at the Day Job. When B barked, cried, and even the click clacks of his nails on the floor. He was helping me out. People make noise to make noise. Then there’s Virgil, who doesn’t make a sound. “I’ll B Listening, Virgil.”

Sunday, May 7, 2023

Saga 310 ~I’ll B Listening, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. I need you to hear me on this. Alas, I don’t have boobs. You don’t have balls.

Like father, like son. But V is not your son. Now, B III? Are you listening to him at all? God! You hope not. Considering; the first thing you heard this morning was Zero 7’s song, “Destiny.” And Rock-A-Bye by Black Buddafly. One of these things is not like the others. Destiny, though… any song that mentions porn gets your vote immediately. No wonder B hasn’t been around besides being dead and all. I mentioned effing up on the 30th. It could be worse. I’ve often said I’m a Pop Culture Whore. As you will be. Unless it comes to The Coronation of Charles III and Camilla. The Kentucky Derby, and even WWE Backlash. There’s been so much noise this week; with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 128 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing to do them once again. When was the last time you heard the sound of success and victory? When was the last time somebody called you a winner? You need time. Hell! You were up on time this morning, and what did you do? Don’t be like me. That’s my advice. And there’s another F-Word you should try to avoid. You won’t put it into the universe, but it involves the Day Job. This week won’t be so bad… But you need to write. Fuck! Yeah. I’ve been trying to avoid that word. And you should too. But you’re a big boy, according to Carolina Bound. As the song goes, “I take a look at my enormous penis,” ha. Bigger than, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined (Mesmerizing Caroline series?)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 128 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because speaking of fucking, that’s one of the things you’re most concerned with, isn’t it. Always. Friend, when the girl you wanted to fuck, doesn’t want to fuck you anymore… As the song goes, “That’s how you know you fucked up.” Accept my apology. Never? Hell! You won’t find out this week, given her track record. But I am sorry I screwed this up for you. Racism is more noise you don’t need. So instead, you’ll be listening to what? I count four songs so far. And what were you beating off to this morning before you went back to sleep? Azura Skye and Alyson Hannigan from Buffy, Conversations With Dead People. That’s how I feel talking to you. But Braxton? I’ll B Listening, Virgil.

826 Days Without B III, Day 267 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

WillLeave a comment

I didn’t buy the loveseat in the Den. I bought 99% of the food I’ve eaten there. All the movies I watched with B and Carolina and the hot maid. Paid for every book read there. And the adoption fee for Virgil. Am I broke yet? Virgil, We’ll B Spending.

Sunday, April 30, 2023

Saga 303 ~Virgil, We’ll B Spending~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I have plenty of women, a wife. Uh, “whores,” (I like alliteration)! You have Virgil.

Poor Virgil. Or should I say poor you? Not that I can blame you at all. Hell! You may have already failed several of those Six Impossible Things, and it’s only 9:00 AM -for real. I’m the one that wrote down that list… of books. You’re the one that spent three hours buying them. Ok, so I lied. We can both take the heat on this one. But getting up. Everywhere, everything, every time, there is FEAR. It’s the only reason you saw 5:00 AM. Oh! And if this was the Day Job? That’s why you have a lot of writing to do. Swear It! Nope! I’d say do it for Virgil. You’ll spend more time crying about Braxton. Because again, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 121 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They might as well be lies. Let’s call them fiction, which again brings to mind all the books you bought today. Around thirty bucks worth. Even more? Eight books in total. I’d ask, are you crazy? But of course, you are. It would be well worth it to spend time with Triple B once more. Although only two or three are suitable for little ones. B III was grown ok. Hunger Games, dead fur babies, sex, eating people, wisdom, pornography, coitus, intercourse. At least Virgil Vivi can say he was by my side when I went shopping. Not for him. Do you want to spend more time with him, since you don’t have money to go anywhere for a while? Work on, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Mesmerizing Caroline, The Society (BDSM Erotica)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 121 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At the very least, you could spend time on the loveseat instead of in bed. I was only in the Den to meditate these last few days. Is that so I can find peace or get away from Virgil? You’re working at the dining room table, so you’re thinking… Both. How so? Yesterday when I was leaving, I had to yell at him for all his howling. He didn’t want me to go. But isn’t that what you’re doing, though? When it comes to Braxton? Going all, Stay With Me? You’ll have to try singing to V. Or at least using his name. Would it help? B III is gone. And Virgil someday… Yourself? Not soon enough to find B. Guess, Virgil, We’ll B Spending

819 Days Without B III, Day 260 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I would have died for Braxton. And who knows, I could go broke for Virgil. And even if I hadn’t had two fur babies, as the song goes, “I’m bleeding and broken.” Always in one way or another. Mental, Physical, the Man in the Mirror. To B Broken Virgil

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Saga 296 ~To B Broken Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But you exist more like Seong Gi-hun from “Squid Game.” You are not a horse… That’s positivity.

The most you’ll get today because you feel like crap or glue. Either one works for the horse analogy that’s going on. Hell! Back in the day, I bet on the horses (sigh). Good Times? And now, these Hard Times. If it’s not your body… And for once, you’re not thinking about your wayward dick. Anyway, your body is broken, or your bank account. Broke? What does that mean to you? More effing work. I left you with so much to do with my “Lazy-Ass.” How many pop-culture references is that; wanting to hear anything? Billionaires don’t have to listen to anybody if that helps. That’s why I’m talking, and you’re listening. Or you’re trying to. More like you need to understand… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Bereavement Matters: Understanding Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 107 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 114 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

When will Braxton coming back be on the list? It’s not like you’re doing four of these things anyway. I was ready to break #4, dammit! One pain in exchange for another. One head for another. Instead of a hard-on, you have a headache. Luckily you have a few pills. Why not cry, “I’m just a sucker for pain!” 812 days, revenge, justice, punishment. The “precision of language?” If that doesn’t sum up every effing word, you’ll say this week. Words like Humiliation, Sorry, and the greatest of these is Love. Ears and eyes work. Only you’re still broken, and Jesus ain’t coming by to save you. Would you want him anyway? If he or anyone else had saved Braxton… But no Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pet Grief: How to Cope Before And After by Jackie Weaver
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 114 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I got six more. Um ok. Uh, again. As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” ha. Your right ear is perfectly fine. You don’t need your ears living a “Bukkake” scene. Keeping your pants on other than in the bathroom will be pretty effing easy. Bukkake? No. You will not cry about Braxton today. Will you be happy with his memory? You’ll have something to look forward to tomorrow. And be one step close to Billions. You’ve healed completely! The Cherry Collision, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart? Existence? Today you will live. Yeah, I’m laughing at that one too. Mental Health broke. If anything, cancel those OnlyFans subscriptions. Be grateful Virgil’s little body is broken. According to vets. To B Broken Virgil

812 Days Without B III, Day 253 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I talked about living and this one I’m an obsessed zombie when I’m not out for the count, and while I’m all for flesh, I could go out and get some real food but everybody’s time is valuable, even mine. “What The Health Will.”

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Log 093 ~What The Health Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, and it’s funny that I chose a photo of Dampé The Grave Keeper last week. It’s not right of me to think or feel this way with my many motivations. Still, aren’t I allowed to feel sick, and it is my fault. See Inspector Echo; I do take responsibility. Only this doesn’t make me any less of a Scrooge. Yeah, I should shut up, we haven’t even seen Halloween. Not digging the Christmas stuff at the Day Job but the burial is underway these sick days.

Yesterday I said I wasn’t sick. Now tell that to the McChicken sandwich and fries. What about a whole mess of sour gummy bears? Again nobody’s fault but mine because in the words of Idiocracy, “I Like Money.” I also like Indiana Gone, routine, and self-harm. So where does the pain go, again I take you back to yesterday and my YouTube binge? Girls, Girls, Girls as the song goes, along with some cash. I fucked up Sunday (LANGUAGE). So am I official back to Frapping? Well, Monday I bought a subscription to TeenStarlet and got Dennis Hof’s book on Audible. I also quit BrainBuddy; what I wasn’t using it at all. If it’s not women, it’s sleep. Where has all my energy gone; back to looking up girls. Hell Inspector Echo I fell asleep in my hoodie and sweat pants, all the lights on.

Tuesday continued to be humiliation in both jobs. I still have a model to talk too. The thing is I know what’s going on next week. I have to read that other Dale Carnegie title “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.” I was so exhausted I got the wrong book from Audible. Now before I continue my self-pitying, I will say that Norton let me down. I swear if it wasn’t the Facebook hack that scared me how about Norton’s services. I learned how to unsubscribe from Brainbuddy; I can cut off Norton’s extras. All this morning I was researching that. Okay Inspector Echo, full disclosure, Money Talks Taco Muncher and Dong Diner. I’m always good with the research, aren’t I? What about other people? How many Friend requests am I ignoring this time?

Now that’s sin above all else, and I’m sorry, Inspector Echo. It’s all about their time and mine as always. Only Will What The Health?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

WillLeave a comment

Hurt oh let me count the ways but shouldn’t I count my blessings, how I hate the church, but those habits die hard, and I sort of feel like I’m dying from my side to my overabundance of sleep. “Counting On You Will”

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now so you would think I could buy a heart. Hell like The Legend of Zelda the truth is I’m living on some. Didn’t Stevie Wonder talk about living enough, yes I know the lyrics. Only I don’t need my “writing resource” penalizing me again. Speaking of which that is what I’m counting up, crimes, slings, and arrows, other pains. For example, I have to report to Brainbuddy again, like rehab, you know. I woke up after a long nap and of course what happens well happened.

So should I blame “Sweet Slurpee Hayden Bell” from Reality Kings? Perhaps one Pinterest board that now has 151 Sections. Yes, I still plan on owning a brothel one day. I wonder how many girls Dennis Hof had on his roster at any one time? Of course, the Milf isn’t helping. Besides those numbers, there’s the list of aliments I’m suffering through today. How many ribs are broken, not for real? I go for days not thinking about my perfect ears but then again? Mornings are getting weird besides being so tired, but of course, I don’t have a schedule. Case and point we’re talking, and I should be reading. I need to drink more water, There’s never enough hours in the day, and my email is going to explode. What about getting my book published again, for Kindle only?

I think the title is an adequate sentiment, “Gulp.” As far as other book titles, the one I finished, “Fangs For Coming” or how about “Faces Only Fangs Could Love?” The blurb still requires more writing than I’m willing to do right now. Anyway, this week haven’t I mention gratitude, being grateful, hell the ideas keep coming. I have more food than I know what to do with Inspector Echo. If anything, I need to eat more or change my diet. The fact that I can is quite a blessing. How about the fact that I can wear jeans at work all the time now? B III has plenty of time I keep saying to myself because I refuse to think otherwise. I protect him from the negative plus he doesn’t understand the news. I’ll say it, I love my country but hate the President. Now my day job and the people, that’s a question.

I’m sorry I hate Math Echo, Counting On You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

WillLeave a comment

Well this “experiment” is a lesson learned and awfully “creepy,” but I was tired enough to try it out anyway so yeah I may be sticking with the “Dear Future Wife” motif but Amandla Stenberg is hot as Maddy. Will You Maddy Me?

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Episode 254 ~Will You Maddy Me~

Dear Madeline Whittier,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I guess it would help if I learned to speak proper English. Let alone write it, but some things we have to release. My voice, this fear, love, but the rub is I never want to let you go. Ironic that this world is full of things that terrify me. Maddy, you stand at the top of the list yet I’m still here today and always.

Am I cured, the way that I fell for you? I would dream of you. To be beside you at the movies, and the park. You can see that I’m no Luther Vandross at all. Only I must have been seeing and hearing things. The first time I came to believe that we could be together. Enough so that you brought me down to one knee, and I struggled as if this would be my last moment, seeking a breath. To feel a heartbeat, and I asked to borrow yours forever. I became a new man, yours and from this crazy little thing called love. I am not seeking an Escape. Not to Heaven or from Hell. No doctor or God could give me what you have now and forever.

I don’t need a cure for the man I am because I’m the one you love. I promise As Long As You Love Me I’ll be what you need and more. You know it took finding an angel to make me reach for Heaven. Still, I don’t want to go. I want to be here, no matter what this life brings us. Yes, I won’t always be “brawny,” right and bright as you can tell. Still to be yours, the husband, the lover, someday a father to our children, I will make you happy. If anything that is what I want, for you to be “blessed,” that is why I ask you to stay. Because madness it could, would, and should be but if we all learn to love. My what is foolishness would be right and true for us.

Your white dress, the pages I write, the jacket I’d wear. There is not one thing that could convince me otherwise. The word for that is always, for better or for worse. For richer, poorer, in sickness and in health and everything else in-between. This love is everything; you Maddy are everything. So Stay, every time I look in the mirror I ask the man before me to Let My Baby Stay. I will strive to be the man that can make that happen, the moment I knew to ask Love, Will You “Maddy” Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

WillLeave a comment

“WebMD” is a friend to no man, and yet we’re all big babies when we get sick, and no my mother isn’t here, and the dog can only do so much to comfort me, but God bless him for trying. A Spoonful Of Sugar, she doesn’t have to be, “Mary Poppins Y’all.”

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Lesson 171 ~A Spoonful Of Sugar~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, if WebMD just happens to be right for once and I’m dying well… you’re my angel, and this must be paradise so I’ll do everything to stay with you now. Even if I feel like Hell at the moment, you give me fever, “I’m addicted,” and love hurts sometimes, and that’s just a fact baby.

Ooh, baby, baby, I won’t ask you to stay, I’m not sure what I look like or if I won’t be running around every ten minutes and I’m sure I’m the one being the baby. My love, you brought life into this world, and here I am praying for the hour of my death, and at the same time, I’m burning, freezing, coughing and sneezing, queasy and nauseous, but you’ve seen me worse right? I can’t imagine how you are seeing me now head in a bucket or curled up in the fetal position, maybe locked behind some door now.

You couldn’t save me before, and I’m not asking for you to keep me now, so what am I asking; of all the things I could ask a beautiful woman and as I said I wouldn’t ask you to stay and I won’t tell you to go. The golden rule maybe because if you were here instead of me, I wouldn’t leave you alone, I know my place would be at your side even if you hated me seeing you in such a state. I guess I’m just not used to anyone wanting to look after me and I try so hard, to be so strong, and now I can’t even pretend anymore, and yet you’re still here with me.

In sickness and in health isn’t that what they teach, forsaking all others but we got bills to pay and sometimes a man has got to be a man, a husband, a lover, a friend, a father and so many other things. My woman, wife, lover, friend, mother to our children and how can I ask you to be my nurse or indeed anything else.

Only you’re the one making me take my meds, cooking, cleaning, holding my hand, singing to me, bringing me back to life and that is difficult for me to accept. A bitter pill to swallow but I love you for it, you don’t have to kiss me though, I must look so gross right now but A Spoonful Of Sugar.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 119 ~Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow~

WillLeave a comment

A day of sitting on my ass and not in a good way: I wish tomorrow would never come even if it means I would feel this way for, god knows how long, I know work will be so much worse. “Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow”

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Lesson 119 ~Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but depression has made itself right at home, along with even more anxiety and whatever else happens to be wrong with me and my blog at the moment. Honestly, I’m sort of envious Maddy from Everything, Everything, only I wish this was all in someone else’s head and not just my own or my stomach.

Today has been a waste, what am I saying this whole damn week has been a waste and to think I started with such high hopes and grand aspirations. You ask me where did I go wrong and the answer might take me forever and a day, but not today, or how about the last two that I just gave away? I couldn’t even say yes to “Indiana Gone” because everything is just falling apart, of course, this isn’t helping with the anxiety, I’m trying.

Hell, I’ll have to try harder if this keeps up because of tomorrow… I remember last price changes, how gross was that day? Honestly today I’m just back to trying to make it the next five minutes, it worked in the past but now I’m back to thinking about time. I don’t have time for anything anymore and that’s because I somehow or another forgot my favorite word, NO. Of course didn’t I say “No Fear” I say that every day, still trying to make it come true and yet here we are again right?

No I’m not sick just a Pop Tart and a chicken finger decided to lead an evacuation, yes this is getting grosser but honestly, where have I spent the majority of my day? If it’s not my stomach it’s me fearing everything else, my fellow authors, my computer, and that tomorrow is coming, faster now.

The thing is I’m more than willing to accept everything, I mean all of this than what awaits me but didn’t I survive the days of Sapphire, I’ve nearly survived another year, more waste. Personally, I just want to crawl into bed and await the inevitable, even if I feel better if I had to choose between Fear, Depression, and Anxiety, let’s say Fuck, Marry, Kill Style, I’d fuck depression, marry fear, and kill Anxiety.

So what have we learned today, that I should talk to several different doctors and maybe I could them about well, Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 112 ~Weak In The Knees~

WillLeave a comment

I suppose I just have to make room, life is getting heavier all the time and I can’t carry everything, hell there are times I don’t even want to try and yet here I am anyway. Weak In The Knees and not over some girl

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Lesson 112 ~Weak In The Knees~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear and what else is there to say, even now I’m still sitting in my bed; have you ever heard the expression, don’t know what you got till it’s gone? Good health, some semblance of dignity, what about money, how much I miss a few bucks.

The madness is all in my head of course, but you know how much I look for the worst case scenario and now my eyes hurt or I’m just imagining getting broken glass in them. Yes I know, ouch but that hasn’t happened but it is moving closer to Halloween an how about the idea of losing all your guts, yeah as I told Lady Sophia, no more eating at work. Maybe it is too bad that I don’t have nightmares because I’m oversleeping all the time except to go to work or take care of my son of course.

I swear I was at the vet the other day and my voice was reaching so high up trying to catch any air, my anxiety, of course, was wearing me down. What about cutting the grass and my lungs were burning, all the times I have seen death and when I finally feel like I’m dying it’s doing the household chores, that would’ve been a jip.

Speaking of getting robbed, is life just getting more expensive or what, empires may be built out of stone but if that’s the case what is happening to all my gold, already this is going to be the worse year yet from a financial standpoint. It’s no secret that I’m a bit of a miser but I’m also gentlemen and again this begs the question why do I continue in my day job if I’m unhappy with the situation? This again goes back to my anxiety, after the days I have here I am not lovesick but living like a man just waiting for the grim reaper to show.

If you’re going to do what it takes to survive, why not live if you’re going to be sick at least feel like you’re missing something other than making a few pennies at work. So have I learned this yet or maybe there is something deeper and more meaningful but that’s just another job I’m not doing because there is getting to be too much Lady Lu, and sooner or later, I’ll just fall down, that’s where she’ll find me, not Weak In The Knees.

I Will Have No Fear