Tag: Weak

Saga 114 ~B So Weak Virgil~

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It takes three months for a dog to acclimate to a new place. Now two years old, which is what, twenty-four years human V’s walking into rooms, jumping on comfy spots, and wanting French fries. I’m thirty-eight and scared to breathe. B So Weak Virgil.

Sunday, October 23, 2022

Saga 114 ~B So Weak Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I get a peaceful Sleep. There’s no Sobbing. And SEX! Nope, don’t think about it, please!

But as for you? Hell! The fact that you’re up before 6:00 in the morning. Of course, thoughts of B. Is it weak to mourn my lost boy this long? Depends on who you ask. You have plenty to be broken all up about. The fact that I didn’t cave to… well, we’ll get to that. Again you were up at a “reasonable” hour. How many times have you looked up Roxanne Perez, amongst other things? But you’re not giving up. Can’t send Virgil away. One more thing that you have to worry about this week. With all the nightmares that could haunt you. It’s the staying awake for this week. And if I weren’t so busy sleeping on the loveseat ignoring Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Come Back: Reincarnation by Tina Proffitt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I tried. I avoided climbing back into bed. And you told yourself that you would go downstairs to have this conversation. Talk about being weak in the knees. Ha! Crappy joke. With all the money lifted from your wallet for medication, that didn’t work (sigh). You would be walking on air. But the boys remain, Braxton and Virgil, for you to carry. Incredible that such a belief remains that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. I’ve thought that I’m not Virgil’s Dad all this week. Always and forever, Braxton’s. That’s a fact, 100%. What is it the Christians say, upon this rock, I’ll build my church or something to that effect? Did I mention I’ve been a priest going on seventeen days? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet” Moira Allen
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The thing you’re most worried about this week. Because, you know, two, three, five, and six aren’t getting done. Tis the season for things to end up in the graveyard. A whole year has disappeared, and what do you have to show for it? Dammit, only been 6 ½ hours. What right do I have to tell you this week, oh no? Um, I should offer to give you some advice, ha. Anything that doesn’t involve some girl taking her clothes off, am I right? A release? Something better than the fear of what the veterinarian might say about Virgil Vivi? Nothing but rage, though, at the Humiliations Galore that awaits. A week in existence. But look to 2V never again, B So Weak Virgil

630 Days Without B III, Day 071 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Log 121 ~Comes From Week Willed~

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We’re only midway through the week, and instead of wanting everyone else to shut up, for once, I’m inclined to take my advice; okay yeah, people at the Day Job still talk too much. Come From Week Willed, the need for communication

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Log 121 ~Comes From Week Willed~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Billionaire right now, my daily, weekly, hell 365 thought. It’s a sin that I’m not doing more to make it happen, indeed living it at all. Inspector Echo it’s like I tell everyone at the day job, “Another Day” am I going to look up “RENT” the musical? We’ll get to everything I’ve been looking up. Why the delay? Now that’s the biggest sin for the middle of the week, me and my big mouth. I know I’m usually so late talking to you and the other girls. It is far better to keep everything in, but right now?

The more things change, the more they stay the same “THEY” preach. Do you remember how I got started, I found out Kaelin from TTB had passed away? Next thing you know, TTB takes away her sets, but she had a few on Teen Starlet. So as we speak, I’m downloading as many girls collections that remain; so far, 42 girls, not even half. How do I expect to get NaNoWriMo done? Well, my subscription ends tomorrow, and NaNoWriMo begins Friday. I have no inkling what to write about, and I’m still upset about my T-Shirt. Am I one to be talking about clothes or women now. The past two days, I’ve snapped at two. I haven’t heard from Indiana Gone in days. Out of the blue, I realized I haven’t spoken to “Okay.” Now what about Cherry, well damn.

A greater man than me once said: “(Will) shut the fuck up” (LANGUAGE). Don’t get me wrong, Inspector Echo, the Basic Bitch, was right. I was skeevy; I still hate that word honestly. MILF Dos stripped for me and said dirty things but didn’t like how I talked to her. The Rainbow Girl was right; I can be scary though I was nothing but kind to her. Now we have Cherry that says I’m repeating everything; other guys say wanting to get into her panties. Officially, Inspector, I don’t know how to talk to women, NEWSFLASH. No wonder I’m working on my porno collection, well modeling whatever. My tongue is weak, and my fingers are much too fast. Why do you think I want the Dead to march, or yearn for a world like A Quiet Place? My motivations today were talking about imagining what you want but saying it?

Sorry, Comes From Week Willed.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 119 ~Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow~

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A day of sitting on my ass and not in a good way: I wish tomorrow would never come even if it means I would feel this way for, god knows how long, I know work will be so much worse. “Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow”

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Lesson 119 ~Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear but depression has made itself right at home, along with even more anxiety and whatever else happens to be wrong with me and my blog at the moment. Honestly, I’m sort of envious Maddy from Everything, Everything, only I wish this was all in someone else’s head and not just my own or my stomach.

Today has been a waste, what am I saying this whole damn week has been a waste and to think I started with such high hopes and grand aspirations. You ask me where did I go wrong and the answer might take me forever and a day, but not today, or how about the last two that I just gave away? I couldn’t even say yes to “Indiana Gone” because everything is just falling apart, of course, this isn’t helping with the anxiety, I’m trying.

Hell, I’ll have to try harder if this keeps up because of tomorrow… I remember last price changes, how gross was that day? Honestly today I’m just back to trying to make it the next five minutes, it worked in the past but now I’m back to thinking about time. I don’t have time for anything anymore and that’s because I somehow or another forgot my favorite word, NO. Of course didn’t I say “No Fear” I say that every day, still trying to make it come true and yet here we are again right?

No I’m not sick just a Pop Tart and a chicken finger decided to lead an evacuation, yes this is getting grosser but honestly, where have I spent the majority of my day? If it’s not my stomach it’s me fearing everything else, my fellow authors, my computer, and that tomorrow is coming, faster now.

The thing is I’m more than willing to accept everything, I mean all of this than what awaits me but didn’t I survive the days of Sapphire, I’ve nearly survived another year, more waste. Personally, I just want to crawl into bed and await the inevitable, even if I feel better if I had to choose between Fear, Depression, and Anxiety, let’s say Fuck, Marry, Kill Style, I’d fuck depression, marry fear, and kill Anxiety.

So what have we learned today, that I should talk to several different doctors and maybe I could them about well, Everything, Everything, But Tomorrow.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 112 ~Weak In The Knees~

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I suppose I just have to make room, life is getting heavier all the time and I can’t carry everything, hell there are times I don’t even want to try and yet here I am anyway. Weak In The Knees and not over some girl

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Lesson 112 ~Weak In The Knees~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear and what else is there to say, even now I’m still sitting in my bed; have you ever heard the expression, don’t know what you got till it’s gone? Good health, some semblance of dignity, what about money, how much I miss a few bucks.

The madness is all in my head of course, but you know how much I look for the worst case scenario and now my eyes hurt or I’m just imagining getting broken glass in them. Yes I know, ouch but that hasn’t happened but it is moving closer to Halloween an how about the idea of losing all your guts, yeah as I told Lady Sophia, no more eating at work. Maybe it is too bad that I don’t have nightmares because I’m oversleeping all the time except to go to work or take care of my son of course.

I swear I was at the vet the other day and my voice was reaching so high up trying to catch any air, my anxiety, of course, was wearing me down. What about cutting the grass and my lungs were burning, all the times I have seen death and when I finally feel like I’m dying it’s doing the household chores, that would’ve been a jip.

Speaking of getting robbed, is life just getting more expensive or what, empires may be built out of stone but if that’s the case what is happening to all my gold, already this is going to be the worse year yet from a financial standpoint. It’s no secret that I’m a bit of a miser but I’m also gentlemen and again this begs the question why do I continue in my day job if I’m unhappy with the situation? This again goes back to my anxiety, after the days I have here I am not lovesick but living like a man just waiting for the grim reaper to show.

If you’re going to do what it takes to survive, why not live if you’re going to be sick at least feel like you’re missing something other than making a few pennies at work. So have I learned this yet or maybe there is something deeper and more meaningful but that’s just another job I’m not doing because there is getting to be too much Lady Lu, and sooner or later, I’ll just fall down, that’s where she’ll find me, not Weak In The Knees.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 086 ~You Have The Guts~

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In the words of Mystik Spiral “when I hate your guts, we’ll still be freakin’ friends” but how about all the times I spill my guts and the fact that my guts really hurt right now for another reason other than fear maybe… “You Have The Guts”

Monday, September 25, 2017

Lesson 086 ~You Have The Guts~

Hey Lady Lu
No fear, I mean there is no organ for it and yet it always finds a place doesn’t it, at least until we meet the end and then like any other disease we pass it on. I swear when did guts become the bravest part of our anatomy, guts are usually the worst for me, but fear does a bit of everything.

I heard someone say once, “it’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be” of course that can go for all manner of things, hope, hatred, and of course fear. The guts only serve as a good excuse for not proceeding, it would be easy enough to say that if I have a stomachache then I should press on because nine times out of ten it’s only fear working its sway. Why does it choose the guts though, of all the pain I feel I wonder if it the guts that hurt the most, is there a better way to stop me, I wonder?

Allow me not to be selfish and think about the rest of the world, the fear of some, the hatred of others, talk about being weak in the knees but these men, football players kneeling to protest are not weak at all. Those people running their mouths, vomiting up their fears hidden behind such hatred, they have no guts at all, those who fear so many men on their knees. For everyone I wonder what experiences shape us, you know I like to quote After Earth plenty Luna but these fears must start somewhere right.

Is that why fear chooses our guts because there is just so much, and it is so easy to hide that even we won’t admit we’re afraid; then again how about those people who say we have guts, more guts than fear maybe. Spill your guts, hate your guts, listen to your gut, is it any wonder we’re so confused and the only relief is spilling each other’s guts all over the place.

I’m still all Co-Ed Confidential, vote with your crotch but because I’m not doing anything in that department I’m really feeling my guts at the moment but is that fear or stupidity? From what I have learned today, it’s a bit of both but in the end Luna I must accept the truth and say it with me You Have The Guts.

I Will Have No Fear