Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

As the song goes, “I want to f*** you like I’m never gonna see you again,” but maybe she hasn’t noticed me, the real me, my pretty words, replaced with dirty urges and so I’m not much to look at or listen to I think. My Love Is Blind if this is love.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Lesson 264 ~My Love Is Blind~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Fine Today, and no there aren’t any body issues… okay, maybe a few as I still avoid mirrors but that’s more of an emotional thing than physical, though I did say yuck in a Walmart dressing room. Anyway, my lesson for today is that you can’t avoid all mirrors, namely the eyes of a woman to be honest.

Now they say love is blind true enough, but it starts with attraction because without that how can you move forward, even the internet is like that, could you imagine people falling in love sight unseen? Dirty Diana this is getting to be a bit more emotional when I meant it to be physical; so yes in the everyday world people like to think they see all, but in the bedroom, well there are handy ways around that. Personally, I like to watch a girl’s eyes, even men want to feel desirable, but I can’t see that happening in my foreseeable future, but okay let’s say I get lucky soon.

There are reasons for a blindfold; again I’m having a bit of trouble between my emotions and my desires (one of my six impossible things), but I’ve been thinking about Beauty & the Beast, not the fairytale though I have some Belle outfits for a potential submissive. I mean Skye Warren’s take on how even when Erin and Blake were together, how he didn’t want her to see him; it reminds me a bit of Cyrano de Bergerac and how his words got another man laid. No fucks given, yeah because I gave all my pretty words to other guys so they could bed girls and here I am, alone again naturally, the song plays.

So why would I want to blindfold a woman; I’m sure I told you before about my tentacle fetish and the idea of using several dildos along with my cock to simulate a rough gangbang, now wouldn’t that be something. How about “Revenge of the Nerds” Lewis and Betty, now in that Lewis was wearing and mask, but Betty was blind to who he was, didn’t this technically count as rape seeing as how they fucked but she didn’t know and if she had maybe…

I could go darker you know me; Dirty Diana, my fantasies are better left in the darkness but the girl I love one day she’ll understand… My Love Is Blind.

Lesson 257 ~Weak In The Knees~

Who needs words sometimes, some people go to God, but I’m only a human that likes pleasure and let’s just say some girls look so much cuter with something in their mouths and while I can cook I was thinking of something else. “Weak In The Knees”

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Lesson 257 ~Weak In The Knees~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, I mean I suppose it doesn’t take that much trust for a guy to stick his dick anywhere, most relationships begin and end on that concept, and you even have to ask, how the first man figured out sex let alone blowjobs. You know I’m no different; even when I don’t care, I like to keep my options open; this girl told me once if I got her McDonald’s she’d be happy but if I made her my world famous pasta, I’d get a blowjob… I did both, does that make me, generous, selfish, or self-serving?

Haven’t I always said, I want a woman that not only keeps me on my toes but knocks me off of my feet, talk about ways to make a man weak in the knees or maybe I’m just getting old? Old enough to know the truths of somethings, the way to a man’s heart right, yeah I still get butterflies, and yes I like to eat, and all the work I do with these knees of mine just to get a girl on hers. How about the old idea that you take an arrow in the knee as a way of saying you propose, the right girl on her knees and then bring on forever and I could see myself taking an arrow to the knee but not today Diana.

I’m still just a man, not a God, not that I would demand that type of worship, speaking of which though “Cock Worship” is a must-have when it comes to a submissive and a future wife if I were ever that lucky. Before you knock it, “Bryci – Daughter’s Best Friend” talk about someone you want to listen to and at least we’re not talking about my dirty mouth at the moment, the things we do not to speak, like going down on a girl. If you were to ask me though, does a girl who spits or swallow, for some time, getting to cum on a girl’s face is the bee’s knees as some say?

One of the reasons I’m a damn good dominant and so demanding of a submissive, I spend too much time on my knees; never been one for thoughts and prayers but I got to keep doing my job and if I had some girl waiting for me to come back. Let’s just say Dirty Diana, that sucking me off makes her, Weak In The Knees.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 250 ~U R A Fever~

I can honestly say I didn’t expect to be writing this at the moment, a beautiful woman, a fantasy worthy of any porn but today I’m just the guy that couldn’t play the game. U R A Fever; was it because I’m sick?

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Lesson 250 ~U R A Fever~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, only for once I wish I was, it would keep me from making an ass of myself and speaking of which why does hers have to be so lovely, the things you notice when you’re horny. My mother taught me never to go shopping when you’re hungry because you’re sure to buy anything and don’t I have money burning a hole in my pocket right now.

“All that hate’s gonna burn you up, kid.
It keeps me warm.” Red Dawn (1984)

I’m not mad either, okay that’s a lie, but I’m mad at myself, a Dominant indeed any man, in general, isn’t going to score every time, it’s that fire, that heat, that keeps him going out there as if I’ve been going out there. Maybe tomorrow but seeing as how today didn’t go somewhat as planned; blew up in my face is more like it, back to Amazon I go. Hell, a Dominant has to spend money, not Christian Grey money but I like beautiful submissives. As the song goes “this is why I’m hot” because I’m horny, big surprise there right? I’m back to hating myself at the moment, and the heat is on, though the weather is warm. She told me that was my master plan to get her clothes off. I wish I were that smart honestly.

If you want to know how I saw this day going; she would sit on my bed, and I would show her the closet I cleaned out, just for submissive wear as I told her, you’re a gift, that’s why I wrap you in such pretty things. And I want to unwrap you. Now maybe this is something you need to learn *pulls out Playboy Scholar uniform*, and this must seem like Wonderland to you *pulls out Miss Wonderland costume* but princess *pulls out Enchanted Bikini Belle* you’re mine. I still haven’t thought of anything for the Asian inspired getup but I will, only my game is, just shit; not the shit just shit, you know game recognize game, Diana.

“The willingness to walk away, above all other factors, does more to tell a woman of your high value than any amount of money can. You must be prepared to follow through and to fully believe that you’ll never see or hear from her again, because women instinctively know when you’re faking.”
― Roosh V, Bang: The Pickup Bible That Helps You Get More Lays

You know how these days the cure is usually worse than the virus, for me if I’ going to get over my fever for one girl I have to burn for something so much hotter. So these past few days I’ve imagined this “Black Room” you know like “The Red Room of Pain.” It just doesn’t solve the underlying issue of a lack of females in this house, but at least I’m still not “Fapping” but seriously that girl, to say, U R A Fever.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 243 ~Don’t Pretend To Be~

I don’t want to pretend, but I wouldn’t mind dreaming just a little bit more, and I have plenty of ideas, only I don’t want to lie, and she shouldn’t lie either or even want to lie at all. Don’t Pretend To Be; orgasms are not optional.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Lesson 243 ~Don’t Pretend To Be~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, for no matter what costume I decide she wears, where I choose, or what lesson she must learn, she will always be mine. If you don’t know me by now, lying is a pet peeve. Now I know I lie, and that is why I regularly have to reinvent myself and others, but as I heard in porn once, your naughty bits always understand what they want, vote with your crotch and all that, just saying.

When it comes to the bedroom women don’t like to fake it, and neither do I, maybe it makes me a mean person, but I don’t just take any woman to my bed, and before there is an uproar, many women would feel the same way about a guy like me. Now a costume doesn’t say I like the person any less but hell, if you knew the hours I’ve spent trying to find the outfit a certain pornstar wears or the stories I would want a woman to cosplay… Sick Fux Dolly, anyone? Let me also say this; I won’t be a lackluster lover either, people say I don’t communicate ever, sex and power. Could be one in the same and violence and not against lovers, but when I’m not in my playroom, I’m in my “playroom” GTA, The Last of Us, Until Dawn, speaking of TLOU, yeah I have some fucked up fantasies.

While I would like to have mutual fantasies, that’s optional but orgasms… as I said I refuse to be mediocre, I want to know I get a woman off and if I can’t that’s probably the only time I’ll take a lesson from a submissive. I will educate a submissive on what I like, but there should never be a question of whether she wants to be with me, that should be as easy as breathing, as necessary as food, as high as any drug, and as welcome as a glass of ice water in Hell. Of all the things women accuse me of; when I want somebody, I go all in and only stop when I hear a safeword or when I obviously admit I’m honestly a complete moron.

I don’t pretend to be perfect, but when it comes to these things I don’t pretend to be the sweet guy either, and the last thing I want is a submissive who indeed isn’t such a woman for me and so, Don’t Pretend To Be.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 236 ~Doing It After Dark~

Someday it will all be in black and white, a BDSM contract, the book I need to write to fund my fetishes and the woman in my bed, and I’m not talking about Betty Boop. Doing It After Dark, how about an afternoon delight, Halloween, at the beach, etc.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Lesson 236 ~Doing It After Dark~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

I Am Not Afraid Anymore, I’m not afraid of the dark either, and it should come as no surprise that black is my favorite color for most things, of course, I do have some exceptions to the rule. For example, red is my second favorite color, but honestly, if I were to build a playroom, I’d make it black. I got a friend who is heavy into purple, but this isn’t “Saint’s Row” my color choices favor The Morningstar, but then we might be talking about the wrong playroom right?

Speaking of black *ahem* contract, I should probably draw up a BDSM contract seeing as how these days have been spent shopping for potential submissives, can you say I have high hopes? Honestly, I know that such women exist but shouldn’t I spend more time working on myself… it doesn’t matter when the lights are out but then tell me why I spend so much money on colorful things? Just so full of questions, full of myself, wish I could say the same about my bank account, staying in the black, or as the Beatles sang “can’t but my love.”

I know I often repeat the same mistakes and stories but have I mentioned I am into voyeurism and exhibitionism; probably one of my biggest fantasies is a sex tape, this past week I’ve had the yearnings of a photographer for the perfect shot. Perfectionism has always been my curse, chasing something that doesn’t exist which explains the schoolgirl, Asian, and princess ensemble I’ve assembled so far. Funny women want the world and then claim to be every woman like that Whitney Houston song, and somehow I intend to make one or several prove it.

Yes I’m still into brunettes, and I still can’t figure out how that came about; like I told someone, brunettes and blondes/etc. are like crunchy and soft tacos, I’ll eat either but crunchy is my favorite and no I’m not talking about age today. It’s a wondrous world of color out there, and I’m just thinking why waste it in the dark, though forever and a day my bed has been my place, that’s sad?

A guy like me might as well be dreaming of such things I suppose than bathing someone in the flash of an iPhone camera and besides my bed is black too besides dog hair. Another reason I need some creativity like doing it in the park, doing it after dark.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 229 ~Chocolate Game On Lock~

We’re all the same color when we turn out the light as the song goes and if the world can open its mind to a black superhero, hell I’ve always had an open mind or so I thought, at least when it comes to women. “Chocolate Game On Lock.”

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Lesson 229 ~Chocolate Game On Lock~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

“I’ll admit it. I’m turned on by powerful women. Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams…wait a minute.” Modern Family

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore so ask me, just ask me, I have one woman that makes it clear and the answer is always no but why is that exactly and the answer is somewhat complicated I suppose but I’m here to think with the little head rather than the big one. Not that you’re new or anything but you know my type, white, preferably brunettes, but blondes, redheads, black hair are all welcome, now I could go on but what’s the keyword in this… white?

Not that I feel the need to defend myself but let’s see, my first “girlfriend” was a sweet Muslim girl, all cocoa, when I was in middle school, I followed around this black girl who wore plaid skirts. When I was a freshman I fell for this senior I rode the bus with, and she sat next to me. As for the plaid skirts that started my full-blown schoolgirl fetish with Lacey Duvalle and I had a thing for Misty Stone in Co-Ed Confidential, Season 4 mind you. There was even a time where I thought Alicia Fox was the hottest woman in the WWE before she went full-blown diva and crazy, let’s not do insane today, I’m too tired.

“Too busy snowflaking. if that’s the case, you best be watching your back. ‘Cause white women don’t bring nothin’ but trouble.”

“That ain’t white women, man. That’s women.” ― from Save The Last Dance (2001)

I take my lumps right; I don’t blame the media, okay so I fantasize about Katniss Everdeen/Jennifer Lawrence, Tris Prior/Shailene Woodley, Mindy Macready (Hit-Girl)/Chloë Grace Moretz, etc. Among black women, I still have a thousand choices, Tessa Thompson, Alicia Keys, Zoe Saldana, Zoë Kravitz, Amandla Stenberg (with her curly hair) because I’m pretty shallow like that. Maybe I’m not in the mood to bring on the smolder today but I’m going out to see Black Panther and while I’m always hoping to meet someone and my parents would be thrilled if she were black *sigh*…

It’s just my whole life I’ve never been black enough, and then when I choose white women over black women, then I hate my mother and don’t misunderstand all women are trouble and are libel to hurt me. I feel ashamed when I think of one particular brunette, and for a while, she turned me off all her ilk, but another one told me that the one who hurt me was stupid and crazy ha.
Stupid and crazy to think I find comfort in that but every king needs a queen and while I could name several black queens. I think I’ll stick to my chocolate for now in candy bars; I may be looking for my swirl, but when it comes to my candy besides Sour Punch I can say Chocolate Game On Lock.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

Last week I was worried about Heaven hearing me when misunderstood by a man across the desk and a woman I wouldn’t have minded… shh, you can’t say such things or even the innocent pretty words, don’t even think them “#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.”

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Lesson 222 ~#MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, but I should be, I think a lot of men are, and I know we have talked about my mouth on more than one occasion that when it comes to women… at this rate, I have nothing to worry about honestly. If anything I still remember the 5th Amendment, but lately, I have been holding onto the first one as tightly as a Republican with his gun after any recent shooting.

A man with a voice is a dangerous thing these days though it’s more about the physical aspect but it’s these words Dirty Diana, these damn words, and the words are now, the right to remain silent… those would be the Miranda rights? The right to free speech though, I’ve never whistled at some woman, never catcalled, never called some girl a dirty name outside the bedroom or should I just say sexual activity. Funny I thought something like this would scare me the most, well it has but what were the real consequences of any such thing other than looking like a pervert, a Harvey Weinstein or even worse.

You know what word nearly ended me; life, how about a job’s a job, another day, a sigh, a moan, a grunt, and I’m supposed to be worried about calling a woman a slut, a ho, how about whore or bitch? No Dirty Diana they are saying a backlash is coming, you know I can be nice, but a guy can be taken down by an accusation, an acknowledgment of beauty, a look, a movement, my god nothing is safe. Think The Screwfly Solution with the Daughters of Eve rather than the Sons of Adam. I know this isn’t sounding so sexy but these days, silence, isolation, talk about spreading your legs, what about opening your mind, or breaking your heart, hiding everything about ourselves because we’re afraid for men to be men and women to be women and everything.

I respect the #MeToo movement but where does it end, you wonder why I’m so scared to talk to women outside because I’m horrified to talk to anybody and damn my social anxiety, it’s against the law to be me, and I’m made to be something they see which is illegal. Every single word and you could be one of them, #MeToo, Me Three, Foreplay.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 215 ~Who Falls For Heaven~

I suppose it’s a good thing that Heaven can’t hear me, but that doesn’t stop an angel from listening does it, though I have yet to decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Who Falls For Heaven, it’s not a lie, I hope not, but I’m not getting in.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Lesson 215 ~Who Falls For Heaven~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore though I should be, shouldn’t I? This whole week has been about being a man. Well let’s be honest, I think I’m less. Only just a man and what can men do? We chase goddesses, angels, queens, princesses, and everything else; I read once about how men are told to build Heaven for angels do not live in Hell, do they?

I don’t look down on women, I’ll even go so far to say that all women are beautiful in specific ways, but my grandmother said I was full of pride, don’t know how but a man wants the highest caliber women he can find or I do at least. The question becomes though why do I chase the most righteous, the most innocent, and the sweetest and suddenly turn around and call them sluts, bitches, and whores with passion. We talked about my mouth before but don’t they say, a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets?

“A man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions… He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer–because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

It all came rushing back to me when I saw some of that movie “From Straight A’s to XXX” which is about Miriam Weeks a.k.a. Belle Knox, starring Haley Pullos; made me break my “No Fap” streak. Only this isn’t me being bitter what I’m talking about is I’m all for keeping a girl on high, the higher she is, the less accessible she is to other men but if you place her to too high then, will I reach her? When it comes to me every day any woman will tell you I’m shy, introverted, reserved, hell I have social anxiety but when it comes to the bedroom scene…

Now while I don’t share Phil Dunphy’s stance on powerful “black” women, and yes I love my mother and my sister just saying. I do like women who hold maybe not power precisely but again righteousness, making her turn her back on her morals and surrendering herself to baser instincts. Heaven and Hell both need acceptance but a man somehow fighting his way to Heaven is one thing an angel choosing Hell is another, and we meet in the middle.

“You’ll float, too, you’ll float, too, you’ll float, too… YOU’LL FLOAT, TOO!” ― It (2017)

It’s strange that I don’t like masochist because they enjoy pain but to take someone who doesn’t and teach them to want it or again a woman who considers herself a slut is good but making a good girl become one is even better. I think denying what we want is just as good as being dead but tell me honestly, Who Falls For Heaven.

“When she’s abandoned her moral center and teachings…when she’s cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor…when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure…..enticing from within this feral lioness…growling and scratching and biting…taking everything I dish out to her…..at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.” ― by Marquis de Sade (1740–1814)

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

When everything you say is wrong all you have to do is find a girl for answers, although to be honest I’m not that coherent during, and if I am, then it’s time to find a new girl… no filter right? Ahead Of The Game.

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Lesson 208 ~Ahead Of The Game~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because some things render me speechless, e.g., blowjobs and even that I have an opinion about, yes I’m a hypocrite, this is true. First because last week I talked about getting loud, second the cock wants what it wants, and thirdly somebody put something in his mouth my zipper’s stuck, still thinking about that bastard from a few days ago; worried?

“Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper’s stuck.” Martin Lawrence

Strange that I think about getting head when the last thing I want to do is reminisce, or in this case thinking with the little head instead of the big one… two birds one stone. What I mean is a release of one will lead to peace for the other, it’s hard to do anything in such a state, drive a car, hate your fellow man, or worry about anything at all. So while I’m trying not to indulge someone I despise, what about what I like in a girl, that would be a better use of my time right?

As the song goes, give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair, seriously I had a massive thing for Amandla Stenberg in “Everything, Everything” and then I saw her with a shaved head and dammit did that not negate everything else. Am I that shallow, I could be as bad as Ted Mosby that’s mad because a girl doesn’t pick up the check, or Blake who thinks he’s so disgusting that Erin can’t stand to look at him. Perhaps Catherine trying to imagine someone attractive in “Cruel Intentions 2”, that might have sucked. I’m not as depraved as to think about glory holes and paying for it… well, hopefully, I’m still gainfully employed now.

So where was I, long hair, I have a thing for brunettes, and a girl looking at me while she’s in the act, it honestly takes me to another place, the sound of silence or at least no words, more than words as another song goes. My favorite has to be that Katniss Everdeen braids style from The Hunger Games, ponytails, pigtails, but then we’re going into cosplay, and other fetishes and again my big head is much too dense, and my little head will be much too full dealing.

Is the lesson today that people should learn to shut their mouths in one way or another or that people naturally suck or are masters so Ahead Of The Game?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 201 ~So Call Me Maybe~

Don’t say anything you don’t want people speaking to your mom and your sister, which is why I remain silent; don’t say anything you don’t want a man to say to you in prison, well my writing is getting me in trouble nowadays? “So Call Me Maybe,” worse

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Lesson 201 ~So Call Me Maybe~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, why should I be, I’m not the president, this isn’t every day back at school waiting to say here/present, and in the bedroom well, I’m all alone still what if hmm…

I think I’m sensing a theme, “censoring”; a friend and I were watching “Happy Death Day” and there’s this scene where Jessica Rothe a.k.a. “Tree” is about to have sex, and the guy isn’t talking, but his pleasure dome, his dancing, amongst other things stop that from happening. My friend told me once that once a girl is DTF “Down To Fuck” a guy need only shut up and let it happen… did I just say fuck, would you prefer the term, make love, have sex, knock boots, hell I could go on you know? Is this why we invented kissing, why we struggle to catch our breath, why some men are still cavemen and women speak in tongues perhaps?

“Hey, hey,
y’all calm the fuck up.

Uh-oh.

I said, “Fuck.”

But hell,
we ain’t on the radio

so I’m about to say a whole
lot of shit I ain’t supposed
to say tonight.” Petey Greene, Talk To Me (2007)

Yeah, I’m dirty, perverted, depraved, I’ve burned my own words enough, suppose it keeps me warm. So considering the weather let me help *ahem* slut, whore, bitch, usually used in a variety of phrases and euphemisms along with fuck, little whore, dirty slut, dirty bitch, etc. I’m sure we’ve had this conversation, and how I hate bullying and people calling me stuff and yet I would name any girl this from one night stand to wife, which explains plenty I know it. Not that I have anything against a girl’s name or should I just call her a woman or calling her beautiful, angel, baby, but there is something about language today just saying honestly.

“Hi, I’m the so-called
“fine vagine.”
If that’s the way
you refer to girls,
you and your hand
are going to have
a very lasting relationship.” ― Tree Gelbman/Jessica Roth, from Happy Death Day (2017)

When it comes to a girl calling me anything in the context of a fucking; I haven’t heard anything that has dissuaded me name wise, “fuck me you bastard” works as good as anything else, hell she could be racist I’d probably be down. I also like a woman repeating what I tell her and that was before “Exploited College Girls.” Telling a girl she’s a little whore, and she says it, or even adds on, to it, in a way, saying something like, you like fucking this dirty slut don’t you, etc. Begging is a massive turn on both in the positive and negative, we’ll talk about “Ravishment” at some point. A girl begging me to be fucked or letting me know where she wants cum, even a girl making me plead a little.

“Fuck! Is one expected to be a gentleman when one is stiff?” Marquis de Sade

So it’s been established I have a dirty mouth, and then people ask why am I so quiet and maybe I’ll find someone to be quiet with like everybody else but until I know “her” I’ll dream but is there a chance I’ll change again, sigh So Call Me Maybe.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ― King James Bible

I Will Have No Fear