Tag: Forgiveness

Log 079 ~Don’t Kill The Will~

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Here I go again about writing and women. You know this is why I’m so good at time travel, the more things change, the more they stay the same, so why do I even need to deliver the same message? “Don’t Kill The Will,” pretty please

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Log 079 ~Don’t Kill The Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; though people would jack me for less. Relax Inspector Echo, I’m still on NO FAP, but it’s hard. Now, what is it I told A&W at the Day Job, “this is why I don’t talk to women” Well it might be my mouth, and then it could be my email. I’ve messaged three models, of those two, had high potential. No responses, so what is my sin? I’m staying motivated, but my firstborn’s been sick, and I hit two spider webs when we went out walking.

Am I only the bearer of bad news. I did smack myself today because of my anxiety. Hell Inspector am I only talking to myself. I’ve checked my email accounts, but I haven’t heard anything from Outskirts Press either. Do you want to talk about Patreon? I’m not that guy that’s busy complaining, remember TIBU. What about how I spoke to MILF Dos today. Even now I get that twinge that if I say something, bam lost another friend. Wasn’t I complaining a few days ago about how I’m one friend down? Now have you ever heard that saying about would you like yourself if you met yourself? At the Day Job besides A&W, who’s a “friend,” him and his White Guilt, who respects me there? The more important question is, how am I going to launch this modeling business.

No worries on the part of Dennis Hof; he passed away. Anyway, it hasn’t stopped me from wanting to reread his book. Speaking of novels, I did finish “Unhinged,” one of my six impossible things down. What sort of guy does that make me Inspector Echo? I could go further with my ads. The work excites me, but people seeing who I am? As I said, I messaged people, could be scams, what if they’re not? All-day I’ve thought about buying that file upload software. Still, sending people to my blog, Patreon, Facebook, well shoot? When I would write words for guys to get their girls to drop their panties, well damn. I’m playing Cyrano de Bergerac all over again. The only thing now is, I’m hiding from myself and the small network I have.

I’m sorry I don’t have a better face. I apologize I’m asking so much of so many, but I won’t dare. Hard to live with but Don’t Kill The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 072 ~Will’s Pretty A Mused~

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The two things I sit down at my computer for, writing and women; whatever happened to my dreams of world domination I ask you but wouldn’t that be a major sin on top of everything else? “Will’s Pretty A Mused.”

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Log 072 ~Will’s Pretty A Mused~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; if only I had been a better man. On 2001 today I was sitting in my senior English class when my country suffered a terrorist attack. Hell I was in the Navy for a few weeks but not because of 9/11. If I had the cash would I have helped? I nearly failed that class Inspector Echo. So what have I been studying this week? Last week it was Sin Stocks and Sean Weathers. For the past few days it’s been Ads, Lighting Fixtures, and prices for actresses here and there.

I swear Inspector Echo I rise for three reasons. If my firstborn needs me for anything, his life is my number one priority. I bragged about him to my sister on her birthday. Of course it’s right after my “DAY.” Did I mention that Ruby Tuesday still sucks? Unlike my taste in women right? I haven’t been referring to temptations these days because real life has been; well I don’t know. I was excited after I got that message yesterday; now she was beautiful. The second one I got today, as the song goes I’m a ladies’ man a businessman. Now that brings me to what I did by placing that Ad for my book. So my other two reasons for being, writing, and sex. Well not sex I’m not STUPID though fear has screwed with my judgment. MILF Dos is starting a business so why not me, especially now.

The Day Job has me terrified enough. I also have the fear that the police are going to show up any minute. Remember, I got arrested at my punishment school? High school fun right Inspector? The cops did show up maybe a month or so ago at the Day Job. Somebody pushed the wrong button. Now isn’t that a sin, my guilt complex? More like all I do these days is pushing the wrong button. I’m trying to stay a day ahead, but I killed a few hours on my Ad. The moment I go looking for models somebody comes with more wit and money. Brevity as THEY say, but I’m pretty wordy. At least that wind, those breaths aren’t over my pillow, I’m “working.” Yeah, looking up Amazon and how to do File Upload forms right here Inspector Echo.

I apologize for saying no at the Day Job but now Will’s Pretty A Mused.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

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I suppose I should feel blessed. My “father” offered to pay if I find somebody to cut the lawn. I had a maid too once upon a time, and I’m looking for a new one. All Hell am I lazy or getting older. “Get Off Will’s Lawn”

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Log 065 ~Get Off Will’s Lawn~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now; only I lack a “green” thumb in other areas. The front yard is a mess. My firstborn is giving me looks about the backyard. Hell Inspector Echo, he’s an old man like me these days. Shouldn’t I show gratitude for being this old and having a yard to complain about anyway?

Yes, that comes from one of my motivations; start the day with gratitude. I start my day off with temptations, those two being today Tifa Lockhart and MILF Dos. I should also add Tessa Fowler to the mix. Seriously a fake FB profile of “Amanda Casanova.” Somebody knows my type of woman well That’s What I Like. Now Money, That’s What I Want. I apologize for all the musical references, hell I’m still paying for Spotify. Yesterday though after getting my kid’s vitamins and treats, I couldn’t resist McDonald’s. Add my desire for fast food to that of boobs. Oh you know we’re going to get into that today and tomorrow. If you need something more wholesome though, there’s my firstborn. I sat outside the other day while he played because there were too many kids around. I was almost the old man yelling get off my lawn; time Echo.

In my mirror, I see it every day; my face is growing gray. Do I want to tell you how old I am? You know I nearly forgot about “The Day.” I should have put it in my Six Impossible Things. There are no plans for surviving one more when I should have been dead years ago. Now I’m not suicidal, but I am horny as Hell. Talk about get off my lawn; it’s a struggle resisting the call. Meaning hand in my pants; NO FAP sucks, and yesterday and even now is crazy. These past dark days have been all about sex work. Isn’t that the dream job and I won’t apologize for that. Since I couldn’t stocks and bonds, I’ve been studying up on the business. If not research then I’m still reading Beautiful Tears, I’m still ahead some. I want to write erotica, but again you know my vision extends far beyond.

Sean Weathers, for example, I don’t know what I felt when I discovered him. Whitney Wright who is also a favorite is moving behind the camera some. I’m sorry it’s taking so long; so much yelling Get Off Will’s Lawn.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

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The Lone Wanderer, the Sole survivor, I’ve never played a Fallout game, and I could get Fallout 4 tomorrow, but you know where I would have to go; what I could get it from Walmart for free but I’m never free of anxiety. That’s A No-Go Will.

Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Log 058 ~That’s A No-Go Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and I feel like I forgot something. I first thought it had something to do with the “Basic Bitch” (LANGUAGE). Sometimes I’m having a “decent” day, and she springs to mind dammit. Same thing with the “Rainbow Girl.” Lesson learned; if a girl quotes Ariana Grande lyrics, she means anyone but you. Hell, she’s only quoting, but you know how I communicate with songs. Speaking of which, Zelina Vega, Dulce Soltero. She who will remain nameless and Angie Varona as well.

I swear, today was touch and go, like a junkie needing a fix. Until this afternoon, I was okay then one curl of brunette hair, and I’m back on Pinterest. That’s what today is about the places I can’t go like around my, nevermind. Before Wednesday was Compilation Day, it was Motherless Freebies. Yes, I haven’t forgotten that but I also never go to the Basic Bitch’s blog either. You know it almost killed me what I read. I’m a writer praying no one reads. It’s working in retail and hoping for zero customers. More as an adult, I realize the internet is a scary place. A few minutes ago, I got a text from someone, and you don’t know the fear that coursed through my heart. If anything, I am still a slave to my phone. Yesterday I forgot my password in one letter and went nuts; I’ll stop.

Well at least that’s what I tell myself, but it’s like shopping at Walmart. I can’t shop at Target because they fired me in two months. When I think about Walmart, though, my head still hurts. It’s my version of self-harm; I get stressed and I “accidentally” hurt myself. Suicidal; not today but not healthy. Today I popped myself in the jaw with a box, put my fist in a locker, smashed a few fingers. While walking my Firstborn, I got bit by a few bugs. Finding anything to stick to NO FAP, don’t walk and watch TWD Reactions. Should I name some more common No-Go’s Inspector Echo? The restroom at the Day Job. There’s the library because I scare Blondie librarian and I could have got hacked. Of course, I never visit My Olds; that’s STUPID. Now if we’re going with age, the former haunted houses, and other places.

Forgive me, Inspector Echo, for living in a “FEAR” country, But That’s A No-Go Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

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It’s not often I go into overtime and I could come up with over a dozen reasons for the dream I had last night, hell even more, as the song goes What’s My Age Again, but I don’t want to think about it. Will And The T-800

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but there are still things I won’t tell my Dear Future Wife. As for today’s temptations, Angie Varona; how I like daddy’s girls. School of Bondage, for some reason Cherry reminded me of that with her poem; ahh sadism. Sarah Connor from Terminator but I’m sure you caught that reference. I did listen to my motivations today and did Brainbuddy. Anyway, let’s talk about last night. What about today, the usual, humiliations galore. Hell if something happened to my father, yeah think I’ll shut up now.

Anyway so I had a dream it started with me waking up with Sarah Connor in my lap. Okay typical for me except GASPS a blonde? Um, Jennifer Lawrence, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sabrina Nichole, etc. Well, Sarah says that we need to go and so dressed we take off in this old car. Next thing you know we’re both freezing in ice but still driving until we get to that town from Gremlins. Sorry for not looking up every 80’s reference. It’s Christmas, and we’re hiding from The Terminator. We’re running in the snow while building snowmen and igloos. So the T-800 suddenly sounds like Captain Hook. From Hook talking about flinging daggers at our children’s doors. Now I’m Data from Star Trek: Next Generation and I’m angry, and I come in swinging waking up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt-c3n4ttD0

How is this dream even a sin you must ask? Well, I had lots of time to think. I heard this song today that said: “there’s no trust without shame.” So ask me who do I trust? My firstborn of course. Indiana Gone and I watched “Of Inner Demons” once, and even she doesn’t know everything. Cherry who’s twenty-two by the way still has her fascination with the movie Lolita and her fantasies. Okay now that’s out of the way I think this dream was about “THE DAY.” The worst day of my life which is coming up fast. Take, for example, The Terminator which made’s it’s debut in 1984 WTF. Gremlins, a coincidence, the same year, didn’t I say dreams give you messages. Star Trek TNG was 87’ to 94’ my sister would have been one by 1991 which is when Hook came out.

As far as Sarah Connor she’s a blonde who went brunette and then grey and is still in The Terminator franchise. I’m going into overtime Inspector Echo because I am fascinated. The cold could be another sign of age. The snow could be ash. I remember freezing and not seeing much of Sarah though she was around. I’ve always said if I had a terminator and a time machine, I’d go back to THE DAY. I wouldn’t hurt my mother, but as for myself, Terminator 2: Judgment Day 1991. Could this be about my sister?

Her Day is on the 8th. Did mom give birth to a monster or Gremlin? No, I don’t beef with my sister; anymore, I adopted my firstborn because of her. Am I too cold towards my son? I was ready to fight and die to defend him. His age, perhaps, I want my firstborn to have a family, but time is not on his side. The whole dream could be about metal, didn’t I talk about cars a few days ago, hooks, machines, hardness. I’m on No Fap once again. I’m not counting wanting to see Haley Pullos’s boobs or looking up “Of Inner Demons.” No porn for this man Inspector Echo. I’m an old man, a retired model looking to win the war of my future. Am I… Forgive Me; Will And The T-800.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

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Last week I spoke a bit of looking down, and it seems like I’m still doing that, whether it be my phone, naughty books, or my wallet; hip to be square or more like a rectangle, not the worse of all shapes though. The Shape Of Will

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Log 044 ~The Shape Of Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but not a star. Can’t say I miss Super Mario because my princess is always in another castle. There’s also the fact that I’m not feeling powerful. Where was I supposed to be at this moment in my life? Now if anything I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Should I apologize for ripping my heart out? I’ve been much too busy looking “down there” at the moment. At least it’s still in my pants, but it’s getting hard and pretty damn embarrassing; okay stopping.

Let’s get to what has me bent out of shape. Video games should be fun and a way to relax, right. I like Heavy Rain and all, but yes I’m out of practice and out of shape. Shaking that controller this way, and that has me breathing hard. At least it’s better than watching other people play. So what about watching other people fuck (LANGUAGE)? The first week is always the hardest, like any rehab. Still NoFap but not even hiding the fact that I’m watching porn. Hell Inspector Echo I wasn’t lasting three days when I was abstaining or trying at least. As for the “real” thing, I didn’t cave into the cosplayer. I’m still waiting to hear from Alice. I even started looking for a new “maid,” talk about a business opportunity SIGH.

As the song goes, it’s hip to be square. Only again, Heavy Rain isn’t helping; I saw Madison’s boobs. I’m reading another Tillie Cole book, “Raphael.” Should have learned from “Sick Fux” the author loves the taboo. Now If I could only go back to the nights of softcore porn watching. Inspector Echo, my life’s a cycle, a circle if you will; wake up, conversation, pretend to live. My son and I are in a rut. These are his golden years he should be enjoying himself. I keep saying I’ll give him everything but a million dollars in two weeks? Yes, I am ashamed of myself, there’s no way around it Inspector Echo. Could it be a love triangle? Yes, Tupac got around but as for myself. From the MILF to Mr. International, to the Stars. Yesterday I even went back to some erotic gaming.

So I am sorry life has me so warped and twisted. These past two weeks have been, again hard. I’m finding The Shape Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

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A great man once sang “stand up for your rights,” and someone else said if you won’t stand for something; well these two legs can take me places but my eyes are looking down, though things get an inevitable rise out of me. Standing With A Willie

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

Log 037 ~Standing With A Willie~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and no my mind isn’t in the gutter. Okay, truth be told another cosplayer “Jada Jinxx.” We’ll get to the begging portion of the program soon enough. Today I want to talk about courage, the strength to stand. Hard when you can’t stand the man in the mirror; neither can they.

Up against the wall mother; yes, I looked that up. That’s how I was at work today, nowhere to go and nothing to do there. So I redid two of the walls of hanging crap, paintings, metal décor, etc. Staring at the wall meant I didn’t have to look at people. Not that I could even if I wanted to anyway. My eyes are conscientious objectors in this war for my life. On the other hand, they could be living in 3017. That’s me looking at the dirt or how long it would take me to find courage. Is it any wonder I write dystopias? How about the only life after death, I believe in is zombies? Anyway, so I’m working from one wall to the next. I’m getting all these backstabbers complimenting behind my back. Like I’m any better; should have seen me yesterday. Someone knocked on my door, and I had my knife behind me, saving people time.

You know for finding reasons to fire me at some point. In writing Inspector Echo, I’m an army of one. Army, again look at the title. I was channeling Ellie Goulding’s song. I wish I could say I had someone I counted on with all my heart. Yes of course B III but let’s look at humans. My “father” that’s more predatory dominance. I feel like less of a real man, depending on him. There, of course, is the job I despise. If I lose it, I’ll be wandering the desert with my dick in my hands (LANGUAGE). So yes this morning, the man in the mirror, well the shower SIGH. I’m still with NO FAP but the things I was thinking. There, now we can talk about the new girl or the others rolling around in my brain. Closing my eyes but still staring at a wall or the floor, Let’s say TWD is chock full of hot women.

Damn all these beautiful girls as the song goes, oh and work. Missed a huddle but Standing With A Willie.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

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Last week I talked about counting on me, and today it’s been hours at work, seven new Pinterest boards I believe, and I didn’t even broach the subject of a million dollars in one month, still not published. Four On Will’s Fairway.

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Log 030 ~Four On Will’s Fairway~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and like Eric Thomas, I don’t play golf. Here I was expecting four days off when I have six. Sticking with the four though, I won’t tell you the story of “The Big D,” SIGH. For the record that was the first time, I fell in love. It’s why once upon a time Four was a lucky number as in Group 4. Should I tell you about Group Five Photosports; hell I wish. Yeah, I already broke down again. Fear The Walking Dead fantasies plus Kneeling Kinkster Kennedy. Let’s also add Kosame Dash: Letting It Air Out “Public Pickups” and some Angie Varona for good measure.

Never thought about it before but is that why I’m partial to the numbers three and five? You must forgive my scatterbrain, hell I’m going to need it over the next few days. For now, only one thing has been on my mind, and that’s walking out. I told “Cherry” a bit of this, but I got asked to come in today at the Day Job. Low and behold the first question out of the Manager’s mouth is “what are you doing today?” Dammit, Inspector Echo (LANGUAGE) I’m dominant for a reason. I like what I like; I know what I want. Well, “MILF Dos” might disagree, but I have quite the imagination. Anyway, so I blow up at her and the flower child and leave work thirty minutes early. So of course you know I have to worry this week and the next; it happens. Here’s the worrying list:

One job, one source of income, I can’t get fired.

Two girls I yelled at and two lives to worry about, me and B III

Three tacos from Burger King, they suck, Taco Bell forever

Four women that got me FAPPING again well six actually

Five tasks I did accomplish at the Day Job. Shelves cleaned, Trash, Upstairs hardware, Candles and Avengers display set-up, Stockroom

Only it’s never enough. I always tell myself. Hell, I was so out of it this morning with the fantasy and the madness. I didn’t make the bed, and when I got back hell, I’ve been zoned out. I value myself and my time, but I ate those nasty tacos and played around on Pinterest. 158 Sections on one board.

Forgive me Inspector Echo, like Trump, Four On Will’s Fairway

I Will Have No Fear

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

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Hurt oh let me count the ways but shouldn’t I count my blessings, how I hate the church, but those habits die hard, and I sort of feel like I’m dying from my side to my overabundance of sleep. “Counting On You Will”

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Log 023 ~Counting On You Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now so you would think I could buy a heart. Hell like The Legend of Zelda the truth is I’m living on some. Didn’t Stevie Wonder talk about living enough, yes I know the lyrics. Only I don’t need my “writing resource” penalizing me again. Speaking of which that is what I’m counting up, crimes, slings, and arrows, other pains. For example, I have to report to Brainbuddy again, like rehab, you know. I woke up after a long nap and of course what happens well happened.

So should I blame “Sweet Slurpee Hayden Bell” from Reality Kings? Perhaps one Pinterest board that now has 151 Sections. Yes, I still plan on owning a brothel one day. I wonder how many girls Dennis Hof had on his roster at any one time? Of course, the Milf isn’t helping. Besides those numbers, there’s the list of aliments I’m suffering through today. How many ribs are broken, not for real? I go for days not thinking about my perfect ears but then again? Mornings are getting weird besides being so tired, but of course, I don’t have a schedule. Case and point we’re talking, and I should be reading. I need to drink more water, There’s never enough hours in the day, and my email is going to explode. What about getting my book published again, for Kindle only?

I think the title is an adequate sentiment, “Gulp.” As far as other book titles, the one I finished, “Fangs For Coming” or how about “Faces Only Fangs Could Love?” The blurb still requires more writing than I’m willing to do right now. Anyway, this week haven’t I mention gratitude, being grateful, hell the ideas keep coming. I have more food than I know what to do with Inspector Echo. If anything, I need to eat more or change my diet. The fact that I can is quite a blessing. How about the fact that I can wear jeans at work all the time now? B III has plenty of time I keep saying to myself because I refuse to think otherwise. I protect him from the negative plus he doesn’t understand the news. I’ll say it, I love my country but hate the President. Now my day job and the people, that’s a question.

I’m sorry I hate Math Echo, Counting On You Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

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It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t want to sleep; last night it was staring into the void until 1:00 AM, tonight it was 5,000 words, so I’m less than 10,000 away from the finish line but on being a good man. Will Find FINE Princesses

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Log 016 ~Will Find FINE Princesses~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, and inappropriate dammit. In full transparency, I don’t even know if they meant me, but I will take “The L” at his word. I wasn’t even thinking with “the D” last night, but more like Disney and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. So what was my grand sin before bed? Once upon a time, I saw a beautiful woman from “It’s A Southern Thing” dressed as Snow White. I penned a small poem or whatever using the seven dwarfs names:

“I’m HAPPY seeing you, GRUMPY you’re taken, SLEEPY dreaming of you, DOPEY I know, a bit BASHFUL letting it all out, but SNEEZY never I like the outdoors, but I do need a DOC for my lovestruck heart ❤️”

Now “The L” liked this comment. So minutes later, I read, “Some people should keep their inappropriate thoughts to themselves 😮.” Now am I mistaken; perhaps, I know I didn’t get to sleep until 1:00 AM. Scared I’d get blocked, terrified I’m wrong for some reason. I didn’t eat dinner; I stopped playing TWD. Inspector Echo I will punish myself when I feel I’ve done wrong and again I doubt myself. Do you remember I spent one night deleting everything from one page because of one person? I don’t check Whisper replies anymore. I spend maybe an hour deleting fake friend requests and blocking chats. If you joke you learn to deal with the heckle right? I wasn’t trying to get the girl I thought I was saying something cute. Unlike Trump, I own up to my sins for your consideration.

  1. I Paid A Girl Hundreds To Get Naked. She didn’t like the things she had to say.
  2. I Compared A Girl And Her Friend To Brazzers and Reality Kings Porn Stars
  3. I Sent A Mom A Butterfree Pokémon And Quoted Butterfly By Crazy Town
  4. I Hit My Sister’s Ankle When I Was Only A Child
  5. I Gave A Mom $5.00 At Walmart When She Asked. Thought about “Street Blowjobs”
  6. I Admire Jimmy Stephens For True Teen Babes. I watch Teen Starlet and Honey Cream

I could continue Inspector Echo. I get blocked, ridiculed, sick, all kinds of horny. Do you know I had my ass beat by a man that beats his wife? Why don’t I give up writing anything; Will Find FINE Princesses.

I Will Have No Fear