Tag: Man In The Mirror

Chronicle 115 ~Aw Hell Angels, Behave~

WillLeave a comment

A boot stamping on a human face forever? I’m sure the Shoe Person was wearing sneakers, and the jury is still out when it comes to me being human. A worm, a wuss, worthless. So yeah, you have my work week, but I have an angel. Aw Hell Angels, Behave.

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Chronicle 115 ~Aw Hell Angels, Behave~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you still have never hailed a cab. You’ve never sung Hail to the Chief. Seeing Hell?

Like every other week, that would be a yes. In a way, it’s nice to rise from the Ninth Circle and your Treachery to be somewhat in the Fifth. As Drake says, “I got enemies, got a lot of enemies. Got a lot of people tryna drain me of my energy.” Right now, you’re alone. That’s what’s so fucked up about this. Fucking Day Job. You should watch your language; Braxton is listening, but we’ll get to that. The two things you’re more concerned about in the land of the living is one, “I got girls in real life tryna fuck up my day.” Flooring. Dammit, why can’t you let that go already? Well, I didn’t. Two is yourself, looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Kama Sutra Sex Guide for Couples, Samantha Mandala
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“It’s too cold outside, For angels to fly.” That’s why everyone is stepping on you this week, or they will be. The Shoe Manager is no fucking angel. Language! The supervisor, the manager, there is no one. The Bible says something about finding righteous people. Now let’s be clear, this isn’t your PRIDE speaking. Without a doubt, you’re going to… “You’re in Hell, this is Hell now, you’re in Hell.’ Yeah, paraphrasing Dot Allison’s “Colour Me.” That has been another earworm of mine, and I’m glad you found it. One less thing to worry about, congratulations. How long has your wrath relented? All good things. Nothing has been good, to be honest. You realize why Republicans adore forgetfulness, fury, and fucking Stupidity. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Dystopian Girls 2
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You should add having Braxton back or getting another fur-baby to the list. The only thing that got me through this week of humiliations galore is Routine. Braxton is dead. The pain to trump all other hurts, humiliations, and you’re hoping horniness. To be a monk again. It wasn’t trying to get into Heaven but instead your punishment, like sleep. I didn’t buy stairs for Braxton, and he learned how to fly. He’s flying now. When I didn’t want to walk, I brought food home, so B III wanted to eat. He’s dying; you’re sleeping. I don’t have any advice for you but to ask Braxton for courage instead of your condemnation. Want to know if God exists? For Braxton, Women, Aw Hell Angels, Behave.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—for ever.
― George Orwell, 1984

266 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 108 ~Listen To That B~

WillLeave a comment

When B was here, he’d Boss me around. My second Best Friend doesn’t, but I do listen to her. And then there are so many boobs, in particular, Blaze because I’ve been hearing the Streets of Rage 2 Boss Fight Music since Thurs. C’mon, Listen To That B.

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Chronicle 108 ~Listen To That B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so when are you going to start listening to me. I say too much, not enough, whatever.

Yeah, that’s right, you can say “whatever.” It stills boils the blood when you think about the ASM. Or chills it considering you were scared to death this morning. You didn’t even know what day it was. Talk about tired. All you want to do is sleep. Can’t blame you. Life should come with Boss Music, so you know what you’re getting into. I know you have been waiting to get that one off your chest, SIGH. For days I’ve had an earworm of “Never Return Alive” from Streets of Rage 2. It fits well with Gi-hun and Sang-woo. Squid Game’s final Boss Battle. I watched that; the day I got promoted, and now you have to deal with it. That and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Dystopian Girls (1)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

As always, I owe you an apology and my condolences. Only you don’t want to hear them ever. Doesn’t do you any good, and by this time next week, you’ll do the same. Sundays suck. I could offer you some relief in the form of Blaze Fielding. Um, Streets of Rage 2; proof in some way that the past was not a complete shit-show. Close, very near, but not complete. Better I am silent, though as you were. I swear you were up by 7:00 AM and didn’t make it one hour before you fell to exhaustion. The horrors of today but then, tomorrow, tomorrow. You don’t want to hear about it. Braxton’s barking was much better with you sitting here with Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Kama Sutra Sex Guide for Couples, Samantha Mandala
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Want to hear about the money you’ll be making now? Should you endure and survive? What about the crunch of an alarm clock if you decided to do something extraordinary? Lying to yourself, for it won’t be fantastic, and you’re not getting up anytime soon. Braxton isn’t here, and he gave the best motivational speeches. Will you listen on Spotify? Hell, you should be listening to a hammer driving in nails for Braxton’s pictures, correct? Yeah, if anything, friend, you want to drift into the oblivion of Squid Game Reactions. Perhaps you should try out your new Boss rank right now and get your bitch ass up? Only it’s cold, and that is only a sign of Fall and your Treachery. Listen To That B

259 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 101 ~B It Room 101~

WillLeave a comment

Room 101, like Asgard, is not a place. The bed could be Room 101 when I want to leave it, but I’m too tired. It’s the feeling behind a closed-door knowing B’s not beyond or way beyond. It’s the knowing I have to go to the Day Job. B It Room 101.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Chronicle 101 ~B It Room 101~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and when you are, you’ll want a home of your own. Red Room, Library, Study, Sex Dungeon…

This house is not a home. Hell, it’s not even your house, and I’m sorry to be so negative. All I offer is the truth, nothing more. The day always started off better with a puppy stepping on your head. No, not any puppy but Braxton. Living is torturous enough. Without B III and even yesterday at PetSmart, they didn’t have the fur-babies out there. I swear the things that become routine. I’m not talking about sleeping in late. Do you see what time it is, 5:40 AM, and what time you were supposed to be up? Desiring a paycheck? Who are you, Winston Smith, waiting for that bullet as you profess your love for Big Brother. More like the Day Job. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus 7 Fairy Tale ― A LitRPG Series
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I wish I could tell you that I have finished this list. Yeah, I’m not funny; trying not to be. How about saying my betrayal isn’t possible? That’s right, where is Braxton? My Day Job? And speaking of which, dammit, you know that this week like others, will always suck. Only don’t go asking for the caged rats. As much as you deserve it for B. 6 hrs., my boy. I’ve been trying to get you ready with all my studies of torture, Squid Game, Would You Rather, 1984, and the like. Again we’re 6 hrs in, and you see the world continues to Hell. You know your sins, Treachery, Lust, Sloth, Anger, Pride. It seems you’re moving to Envy, Fraud. Better Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading (To Be Determined)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Of course, you have no idea how you will overcome any of it. The last thing you need is a fur-baby in the mix. I talked about a dream I had the night before last, and now you know what it meant. I told Carolina Bound as much. Oh, she is also on your Onlyfans. Look at you, man, everyone else does, and what do they see? There is always another reason to miss B III. For being so small, he was easy to hide behind. Plus, with all that fur flying, it was better to keep one’s clothes on. Why look at the last man on earth? And no, not everyone considers you as such. Fading away, an Unperson, STOP. B It Room 101

252 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 094 ~Someday B It Sunday~

WillLeave a comment

Sunday was his last day. A case of the Mondays. Taco Tuesday, do they still have nacho fries? Hump Day. Thursday, I knew he was sick. Working for the weekend. Saturday night’s not alright and repeat. Hell is repetition. Someday B It Sunday.

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Chronicle 094 ~Someday B It Sunday~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you could be too but not today. Monday would help because I’m not going to be.

If it’s any consolation, I did get more work done yesterday, despite all my tears. I’m sorry I chased Carolina Bound off (for the moment…). Hell, I apologize for using M Anime as an excuse. If I paid as much attention to Braxton as I did Books, Boobs, and Bedrooms. Tell you what, I am proud that here you are on another Off Day at 4:00 AM. Not the floor. How bad do you want to take yourself back to bed… not involving OnlyFans mischief? Do you have what it takes to go to the dining room when the time comes; B III’s meds? How many Sundays has it been? In Days, it’s been 245. The worse part of a year for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Connected Souls (Short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I told you I wouldn’t be of much help. To help yourself when you couldn’t do anything for your son. I swear Sundays are cursed days. Tupac wrote, “cause even our birthdays is cursed days.” On that note, you hate E-Day. Braxton had Feb 13th, but dying on a Sunday. Sunday always meant church, threats from your father. Awaiting all the horrors that were to come during the week. B III’s dead. Anything that happens this week can’t top that. The Walking Dead is coming on tonight; wrestling sometimes. With how I felt last night (Carolina Reaper Wings…). Today you’re doing pretty damn awesome physically. Only you’ll be back to routine but didn’t Stephen King say, that’s what Hell is, repetition, plus Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus 7 Fairy Tale ― A LitRPG Series
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The sad thing is it could be worse… Um no? Thinking such a thing always looks like a step towards Acceptance. Nothing is worse than Braxton being gone. Another life? Every week is filled with, as always, Humiliations Galore. Hell, the highlights include praying if there is a God that you don’t wake up. Fast food might kill you. Sleeping. Saturdays are always about betrayal. I told Carolina Bound about her boys Thor and Loki getting bigger, growing up without a home. This house isn’t home. Not without B III. Sundays though, fuck, you have so many girls to talk to because this week is going to suck. Listen to your motivations, but you know like Fallout, War, War Never Changes. Someday B It Sunday

245 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 087 ~B Fore The Path~

WillLeave a comment

Where are you going? How was your day? Can we go home?” Braxton could ask me so much with only a look. He was either beside me, in front of me. And then when those four little legs of his were too tired. B Fore The Path.

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Chronicle 087 ~B Fore The Path~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but before you get on the road… Don’t watch “The Road.” You don’t need that negativity now.

Is that all of my good advice for you? Telling you not to go into the Day Job would be a horrible idea. How about you go to sleep. Now that would be the greatest call but wouldn’t do you good. Today it’s the same as ever. Pick it up, put it down, up, down. Honest to God, man, you’ve never had anything for “feet” when it comes to your “adult” viewing habits. Well, certain types of “high heels.” White sneakers, those socks with the ankle fringe, and of course, you’re keeping your black socks on. Okay, I’ll stop, sigh. Yesterday I went to see the cute fur babies again, and I walked that central aisle in PetSmart. The last time at Banfield’s Pet Hospital…

Now, didn’t I say something about negativity? All I offer is the truth, nothing more. B’s dead. Jan, 31 I walked that path to see B III off to the Rainbow Bridge. Walking out alone. Then came Feb, 10 when I went to pick up his remains. I failed as his Dad. You did, yep. You should know that you’ll betray Braxton again when it’s your turn this Saturday. Once more, when you’re on the stairs with “Stuff And Thangs,” or whatever in this house. You’ll walk in the Day Job that you hate so much, and yet you stayed as B III was dying. I know you want to take off like Forrest and go running. Hell, I tried. My father beat my ass.

Something I have never forgotten like I never will my son. Or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Handmaid’s Tale
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, like a fucking treadmill, you run, but you ain’t getting nowhere, so why try, right. I can’t tell you where you want to be this week. The last place you were, the last step. Braxton was a step too far, even if an act of mercy. A killer is still a killer. They keep walking, but you are always bound to that life, bound to Hell. What happens next. Walking the path from The Matrix or a member of Eden’s Gate. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading (To Be Determined)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Before B III, there was none. With him, at least you weren’t alone. Without him, “Zombie, zombie, zombie-ie-ie-ie.” You’ll walk regardless B Fore The Path.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZlco3uQk3M

238 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 080 ~Go B, Go Home~

WillLeave a comment

All The Small Things or The Little Things, let me stop myself before I make another playlist. There’s always so little time; my son, who was 15, will always be my baby boy. Not to mention I feel like a speck or a peck, eh Willow. “Go B, Go Home”

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Chronicle 080 ~Go B, Go Home~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but what’s in your wallet? Using a credit card slogan? It must be early. Only 5:50 AM.

Braxton was big on life. All he needed was but a sliver of light, and it was time to go walking. Breakfast is to be served uh… well you know the word you want to use. (Damn Hemingway App)! Anyway, there was a yard that needed protecting. Braxton was home. Nowadays, and yes, I know your week is only beginning. Here’s a quick note, what is it with the word “only?” You know, if you use any other word ending in the last two letters, you get dinged. Speaking of the bumps, bruises, and battery, it’s the little things, right? Hell, I was annoyed yesterday for a lot of things. The smallest ones being there were no itty-bitty dogs at PetSmart. Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 6 (Devil In The Deep Blue Sea)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Why would petting another fur baby make this list? I also mentioned the word Acceptance. That word is “humongous” to you. Again must please Ol’ Massa Hemingway because a tiny synonym would get flagged. Are you editing Gulp this week? See, this is what you’re thinking about. All these bits and pieces of your life and trying to put them all together. It’s so much easier not to imagine life. That right there is a thought. You’ve been here so many years, and that’s the idea that will get you into a world of shit. This morning you had a brilliant line for a girl, but of course, she would assume the worst.

“You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky,” ― Willow (1988)

Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress? ― The Matrix (1999)

So I guess you’re saving the best for last, eh? Try and finish a thought, okay? This chick was wearing a black dress with celestial bodies all over it. No love, no flirting: cuteness. Hell, all your love is still for B III, who was worth a million girls. To imagine such love from something and for something so little, my wee puppy. Um, what were you doing before having this talk with the mirror? Right, you were in front of your camera… Onlyfans. Nope, there is no advice for that. B is for breathing. Go B, Go Home, sigh. Do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Handmaid’s Tale
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

231 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 073 ~B Kind Of Trouble~

WillLeave a comment

On September 12, 2001, people had much bigger fish to fry. Now here I am twenty years later, complaining about twenty bucks. I’m all for Onlyfans but let’s just say I’m not paying for those. I should buy more stuff for Braxton. B Kind Of Trouble

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Chronicle 073 ~B Kind Of Trouble~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems as the song goes. What I wouldn’t give for B III’s shit.

I’ve read Dennis Hof’s book, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money. He and some of his friends and associates talk about being “Mother Fucked.” Pardon the language. When Dennis gets Mother Fucked, he’s done with you, that’s it. Okay, so this morning, I was Mother Fucked. I’m feeling like a Republican talking about George Floyd and a twenty. Yeah, it was $20.00, but that was my money. Now I ain’t no cop. Yes, I have my own stupidity to blame… For the record, I’m over Samantha Flair, ha. I’m sorry you’re starting your week off on such a sour note. You feel stupid, your cash was “stolen,” and as far as sex goes… not on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Prophecy By Chris Dietzel
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Survive The Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
    Completed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

To sing a song, “why do the things I hate come so naturally?” If it’s not a pair of English Yabbos you didn’t want. Why not Cherry’s (sigh)? You’re kind to the Day Job. You’re kind enough to your bed. Fuck your comfort zone, the motivations would say. Goddammit, man, you give all your energy to a place you despise and nap away your life. That’s not saying anything about the life I took. My B. I spent an hour Saturday looking at other fur babies. Like you can afford one when Onlyfans robs you. Don’t be me, I beg. Easier said than done? The world is headed to Hell, and The Handmaid’s Tale tells all. Only you’re reading something else and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 6 (Devil In The Deep Blue Sea)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yesterday I talked some about the saddest memories of Braxton being the best. Considering the state of the world, losing $20.00 is nothing to over $300, letting B III rest. Again you hate the Day Job with a fiery passion, but at least they’ll pay you slave wages. Today you’re going to sit here in blankets trying to stave off the cold of your Treachery. Hell, you’re even back to monk status at the moment because nothing turns you off more than stealing. Again your stupidity or mine. Anyway, you don’t deserve to feel good. Advice wise I’ve got nothing but remember who you have to pay. Paying for your sins. A tattoo, Cuddle Clone? Having worries and cares of B. B Kind Of Trouble.

224 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 066 ~To B Little Myself~

WillLeave a comment

It’s always something small, as the song goes, The Little Things that get to me. Seconds with friends. Thoughts no one seems to notice. The death of my son. Another day out of the year I hate. And the voice in my head that wants “To B Little Myself.”

Sunday, September 5, 2021

Chronicle 066 ~To B Little Myself~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and money takes away all sense of shame? Hating yourself today? But yesterday, my sweet buttery Jesus.

Again I know I’m not ready for a dog. My dream tells me Hell NO. You can never ever ok. Before lunch, I didn’t wash my hands, sanitize, anything. I don’t fear dogs; it’s people. Good thing your Old Man didn’t hear that. Let me continue. Your teeth are fucked-up. I was about to steal Carolina Bound’s hubby’s drink at lunch because I wasn’t thinking. Of course, I didn’t offer to pay for lunch, and it’s not like I even ate much while with them. What about loading up the to-go box upside down. My ignorance made me puke, almost. It’s the little things that make me whisper the little words in the night. My apologies. That’s why you awoke late and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Tampa by Alissa Nutting
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Get Ready For My Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Carolina Bound would hate the fact of worrying about yesterday that I did nothing, sigh. M Anime could take offense that I used answering her to forget about Carolina Bound. Another “friend” would be disgusted with me. She says that nobody jerks to her ever.
Besides the whole Terminator 3 “I Killed You” aspect, Braxton knows 217 I’m Not Alright. There’s the knowledge that you can count all your friends on only one hand? Revolting hands. Sweating but not because of work. Covered in blood, and you’d settle for that instead of your addiction. None of your friends say a goddamn word. Your enemies… Hell, could they do as much damage as you do to yourself day after day? Yours’s just started. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Prophecy By Chris Dietzel
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Survive The Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It seems like only yesterday that you lived through the worst week of your existence. Eeking with the last one was a mess, and would you try it now if this one, you know what. I guess while my shame is still so fresh, you find that a hard thing to contemplate. It is ok. Last night I laid there thinking, “I don’t want to do this anymore,” “I’m Thinking Of Ending Things,” “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.” I fell to my knees, not before God but to get smaller. I thought I read to get brighter, but I need to cram my head full of everything. This week that’s Braxton, Emergence, Day Job. B was so tiny, but you love him always. To B Little Myself.

217 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 059 ~Ten Year Worker B~

WillLeave a comment

I regret the ten years of my Day Job, the nearly thirty-seven of my life. The 210 days of being without my son. Only I will always love the 7,884,000 minutes I had with him, Seasons of Love. Yet how can I complain about being sigh A Ten Year Worker B

Sunday, August 29, 2021

Chronicle 059 ~Ten Year Worker B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and here you are, still complaining. You put up with the Day Job. Braxton’s life was you.

No wonder, what was it? Only last night, I felt a renewed energy for “Stuff and Thangs.” You’ve been continuing that this morning since you didn’t wake up on time. Or is it the fact that this week is going to suck? Welcome To The Suck. Stop using soldiers’ lexicon? You can’t help yourself with everything going on in the world nowadays, the U.S.A. dude. Yet THEY wonder why you put your earphones in every day. E-Day, earbuds, you think? On the subject of Emergence Day, how about more books from Audible, hmm? My dude? Anything to avoid listening to me, and I don’t blame you. Life is the hardest job there is. The Day Job is the second. Yet being a Daddy… the greatest. It’s not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Only you’re not anymore, and yesterday I talked about that dream as to why not. Do you think that you’ll write it down before you forget it all? My Bad, I was talking to Dear Future Wife. That’s on top of betraying Braxton. Do you think that you’ll fare better? Okay, you have the Six Impossible Things to tell you what you’re not going to do. I’m not the man for advice. I’m sorry, but while you’re busy effing up any plans for this week, you know what you must prepare for, right? Good Night, Good Luck. Are You Ready?
Doubtful, I know, but yes more Dystopian and Time Travel, Dying Light, and The One. And these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Tampa by Alissa Nutting
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Get Ready For My Thirty-Seventh Emergence Day
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The things you choose to remember and forget. Not this week but the next, may your Olds forget about you. How about Carolina Bound and M Anime. Carolina Bound knows you, and M Anime doesn’t know the correct day, which is pretty good. Emergence Dinner. Never had a last one with B III because there was always more time. And there was his sweet sixteen coming up. Next week will be the first without B III. What will you tell your replacement? B III can never be replaced, but should you become a better man. Jesus, a man that doesn’t regret ten years of the Day Job, thirty-seven of life. You’re still crying over fifteen years, 7,884,000 Seasons of Love. Not Ten Year Worker B.

210 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

WillLeave a comment

Make sure to bring a sharable (fries), don’t let the grass grow tall enough to poke my little B, let me go outside if you’re trying to cook. Those are only a few of Braxton’s rules, and now the house and life are lawless but TRADITION. Rules Can B A

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there are no rules, but as for you… Make the bed might be one more.

Speaking of one, what’s one more humiliation, an accident, or betrayal. I’d say you’re going to Hell but been there and done that. What, I don’t do inspirational Pep Talks. Instead, I know you’re thinking about the last time you were at the Day Job. Do we go to you at the kiosk? How about your Stupidity at price changes? Oh, it gets worse too. If it wasn’t your first time working the kiosk in a decade, it’s your first car accident with someone. You’d never say you’re a good driver, but I felt that fear returning the other day. Then, of course, I went to PetSmart as well. I could say I hadn’t petted another dog since Braxton for 201 Days. Then 202… add that to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Patient (short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That’s the thing, mourning doesn’t have any rules until it does. Rules are Rules, as I read in The Theta Patient. Now you’re all into The Theta Timeline. Would you look at that, a connection? At the moment, you don’t know who you are but with B’s death and books. Hell, there’s a whole series of rules written down to life, so why don’t you read them? I don’t know what I was envisioning when buying that “Budget Guns” magazine. Now you’re dealing with some thoughts. You know you must be careful voicing such opinions. Petting that dog… I needed a bit of life, but the thing is, I don’t deserve it. The good news is life makes it as hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There are no rules other than those you have made for yourself that you won’t follow. How about the government you tell M Anime that you believe in? There are all the unwritten ones. For when you get out of this bed and face the people of this world. Man in the mirror. If anything, right now, you only want to finish this conversation in two hours and fifteen minutes. It’s only an idea that you feel deems you worthy of having a nap in the afternoon. Like in Blue Gender, when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you or B III, right? He Knows

Interestingly, I chose to break B III’s rule of coming home smelling like other dogs. Is that a Hell-worthy trespass… Yes, Rules Can B A…

203 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will