Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~

The second part of my experiment and is it scary that I find this last half better than the first about Amandla Stenberg a.k.a. “Madeline Whittier,” now that was so creepy, or so I guess, but I am a madman. Will’s Mad For Maddy

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Episode 256 ~Will’s Mad For Maddy~


Welcome, Mischievous Mouthy Maddy
How To Make One Million Dollars, singing and I do adore you when you sing to me. I have other plans for that mouth of yours. Babygirl, after all, haven’t you answered yes to everything? Yes, Master, more, and to you being mine? May I make suggestions to you here and now. While I have you on your knees, making love to my cock. Dare I say I like these sweet sounds even more so Maddy.

The first would have to be, never cut your hair ever again. Braids, pigtails, especially curly. My hands lost in a sea of black but never off. Now I’ll take your bobbing to mean that you agree with me. How about as more of a reminder I make sure to fist it tightly in bed. These snow-white sheets and the two of us colliding as you’re on all fours. Must be madness that I thought this could ever be us. Only who is crazier? Isn’t this the place you open up to me. You’re spreading your thighs as I slide between your folds. The only notes needed are the ones on your tongue, begging, pleading.

Some would call it Toxic. The way I want to have you all to myself, to be the air that you breathe. For you to lose your mind in thoughts of my desires, depravity and my dick, drives me so crazy too. That I can’t for this existence I live imagine how I kept it out of you for so long. Maybe your kiss was Poison, a pharmaceutical. A plot of a love story that we tell the world. Or perhaps no one at all as we find ourselves spent in every way. Hell Maddy, I will burn for you. I know, a Fever and perchance somehow or another I have fallen into a dark paradise of our limbs entwined. Trapped and only wanting more.

I don’t want to remember the man I was before you. Even thinking of the man I am after fucking you. He scares me and yet you do not run away. Or you can’t if I love you only in the way that you deserve to know love. Inside you in every way that I can be and much more. I don’t ever want to leave. Hard as it is and with only a look from you this madness. If we go out, THEY would say Will’s Mad For Maddy.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 098 ~What Would Blankman Do~

I greet a different man in the mirror every morning, that is when I can bear to look at him at all, he could be a caveman, a villain, probably some hero without a name, and how long did my job get my name wrong? What Would Blankman Do

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Lesson 098 ~What Would Blankman Do~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear but being honest, it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday as the song goes but you know what I think, sometimes it’s just too damn easy if you’re me.

So I’m at Walmart today… yeah, what was I thinking but anyway I hear this man, tell his kid, “is that something Jesus would do” and easily enough I kept my mouth shut. Now I could go on and on about comparing ourselves to others, Jesus, Santa to get presents, superheroes, yes I read my own lesson title and to quote another song, it’s not easy to be me. Even in my latest novella, I make myself into a monster but if I were to be any sort of man, it would surely be the human Braxton deserves and the man my future wife might be waiting on; high hopes.

With that being said, I’ve often talked about being a better man than I was yesterday but today I actually miss that guy because he actually got some work done, five thousand words and today, well there’s you and my anxiety. The constant state of things, not that you’re necessarily bad, considering how we got back together but I was so proud of myself yesterday and while I could be whoever I wanted to today again just shows who I am. I want to ask the question what would I do but I’m not ready and again the whole point of this is to stop comparing myself to others right?

Someone once said “Don’t try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgments.” Star Trek First Contact

It still scares me so Luna, who I might be becoming, the craziness, I mean I’m a writer, there is no doubt in my mind about that but truly, I’m going to have seven personalities, nearly all women to write now? I’ve said it so many times I wouldn’t leave you and I’ll still be writing every day just different facets and including my past, present, or future me, I’m still not certain really. Do you think one day they’ll be asking the question ‘what would Willie do’ they don’t ask that about Shakespeare these days?

We’ll talk the same time next week and I’ll probably be burdened, should I call this an experiment perhaps. So what have I learned today, I’ve never asked what would Jesus do, my story is about what she thought I would do, and you know what I’ll do tomorrow so Lady Lu, until next Saturday, goodbye, I’ll still be me but What Would Blankman Do?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 034 ~Noncommittal Grunts & Other Noises~

“Sup” is that even a word, now I’m not a believer in Newspeak but even that would be better than the noises I just happen to make on any given day. Noncommittal Grunts & Other Noises aren’t enough for me, not in this world anymore

Friday, August 4, 2017

Lesson 034 ~Noncommittal Grunts & Other Noises~

To My Lady Luna,
Seems like a polite way to start a letter though we’re just talking, I haven’t forgotten NO FEAR, you know “Indiana Gone” said the same thing about speaking to her once, however, I usually say whatever I want to her. Now there are times I’m just being lazy, maybe I’m pissed, for the past few days it’s been wondering why even waste the air on some but today the lesson is, this grunting I do.

You know, usually when I’m about to snap at people at work one of my main arguments is, when my dog barks he’s usually trying to accomplish something, most people are just adding to the depleting ozone layer. Maybe in a way, I’m just trying to do my part for the environment, surely just by practicing my native tongue as it were… silence. Don’t get me wrong, as I have said, everything has its place, and Luna I know I want to bring the ruckus but I just can’t.

“From now on you’ll have no identifying marks of any kind. You’ll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You’re a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don’t exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue.” Zed, Men in Black (1997)

I think I would fit in quite nicely don’t you think; maybe I’m hoping everyone will forget, I’m always trying and then on the other side of the coin, I remind “Okay” that “The Day” is coming soon, now what did I say once about having ulterior motives? Stop wasting your breath as “The Guilty Remnant” writes because talk is cheap and this is a time of action but wouldn’t me talking be a form of action in a way?

Which brings me back to today, and tomorrow, and the day after because the world is still not ending and as much as I hate to admit it I have to live in this one my lady. Now if I can find the strength to move my legs, to do what must be done at work, hell to even speak to Braxton, why can’t I trigger those same muscles to talk to an actual person.

You know they say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile… no wonder Caesar and the apes, kick our asses but we all can’t go on a rampage whenever we feel the need… I thought this was America? Maybe if I had parents that told me to kick ass or use my words but my parents told me everything I said was stupid and that I was nothing and so here we are.

It’s as if I devolved and please don’t bring up that stupid gun from the “Super Mario Bros.”, now we’re all devolving, I know a writer who wrote a great series about it but at the end of the day, the everyday person with their phone can still speak. When it comes to me though, I’m better off learning sign language, at least it would require me to put my phone down and possibly lift my head up. Maybe I started off too quickly, trying to move into the talking phase and I just need to focus on keeping my head up and looking people in the eye, for starters.

“I’m so sick and tired of my chin being up.” – Winifred “Fred” Burkle, Angel

Am I in pain all the time, life hurts like a bitch and speaking of “Ms. Seasons” anyway I can barely shuffle my feet and it’s like the slightest sound I make could just end everyone else’s universe instead of my own. I laugh, I snicker, and hmm, I want to go ahead and add ‘sup’ to the menu, which has become my normal greeting for everyone, I make sounds not words my dear Luna. Maybe when I went all homicidal on my imaginary friends there was no one left to really speak to… but what are you my dear Luna, writing is less crazy.

“I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they’d have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They’d get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I’d be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody’d think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they’d leave me alone . . . I’d cook all my own food, and later on, if I wanted to get married or something, I’d meet this beautiful girl that was also a deaf-mute and we’d get married. She’d come and live in my cabin with me, and if she wanted to say anything to me, she’d have to write it on a piece of paper, like everybody else” – The Catcher in the Rye

That’s not going to happen is it, Luna, it’s not the world I live in I’m afraid to say and what do we say now, no fear, I have to live in this world and this world requires speech. It must be easier for singers and spoken word artists and I haven’t given up on the notion that one day I might join their ranks.

“Haven’t you learned anything, not even with the approach of death? Stop thinking all the time that you’re in the way, that you’re bothering the person next to you. If people don’t like it, they can complain. And if they don’t have the courage to complain, that’s their problem” Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

This is part of what today was about Luna, a test if you will, how would people respond, they would talk and I suppose I committed myself to speak, if not beginning the conversation then I could at least end them. More reasons I’m quiet, I can’t do the every day with fear, but then sex and violence to boot.

I told you I think about how my grand mommy made me watch an Oprah special about children being kidnapped which terrified me to the point of wearing a whistle around my neck or on my wrist for weeks because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to scream. A reason why horror doesn’t bother me and as far as sex goes, hell I can be a dirty talker but as long as the girl is moaning and screaming, I’ll consider it a job well done. Violence is a bit of the same, between bullets, bombs, and babes screaming, noise doesn’t bother me at all.

So at work today I was listening to my hardcore gangsta playlist, been getting into as of late thanks to “Saints Row” again, anyone I wanted to see if anyone would comment and if they did, I would have to respond. How about the woman at Walmart who tried to short me four bucks and anxiety be damned I made sure to get my money, I’ll consider that a win I think. Other than that it was a typical day, can’t say I’m super proud of myself but it was a step in the right direction and led me to my first real goal honestly.

No more grunting Lady Lu, no more silence, if somebody talks to me I will respond, I mean am I really afraid of what I will say when I get started if I could be as open as iPhone music. So that’s what I learned today, that’s what I know honestly has to change, to use my words, no fear, Noncommittal Grunts & Other Noises.

Tell me, Mr. Anderson… what good is a phone call… if you’re unable to speak? Agent Smith, The Matrix (1999)

I Will Have No Fear

Execute Son

TMNT… I heard Splinter say once that all fathers love their sons, but I’m twenty-seven and I still live in constant fear of mine. Execute… Son; I look at my childhood compared to my sister’s and realize I was the prototype to her great future, hmm…

An experiment
A figment
Of someone’s imagination
This demonstration
Something called life
Might just not be right
So goodnight

As we go on
Someone should warn
All of us
That we come from the dust
We play God
But we are not
Cover pulled up top

Do we not seek the answer?
The cure for Cancer
Life is a disease
Killing us all
For we must fall
Will I ever be that tall?

Planet full of apes
And I wait
Child and parent
To see what is gravely apparent
I’m the prototype
Wasted megabytes
Should I sleep or die

I’ve got a theory
He didn’t want me
Is that the conclusion?
What is the solution?
Before the sun
Program run
Execute… Son

Copyright © 2012, Will A. Bradford Jr. All rights reserved.