Tag: Shame

Chronicle 055 ~I B Seeing Ya~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I spoke of crying, and if tears were cash, I’d be literally swimming in it. But I sweat at the Day Job, I would’ve given blood for Braxton, I did on occasion, and now a reverse on Onlyfans. But I’m not crying over that. “I B Seeing Ya”

Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Chronicle 055 ~I B Seeing Ya~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s something I want people to see. More I wish Braxton was alive to see.

I was reminded Monday that B watched me waste a decade of my life. Ten years, his Daddy, his best friend, his “person,” came home haywire, hurt, and hate-filled. There is not one day, no, not one that this wasn’t true. Unless I walked in then back out or yelled. He never minded, but now I find out that somebody else has. I’m a scary dude Inspector Echo. Most days, if I can be only a TIRED black man instead of a STUPID one or ANGRY. I would call that a win. I’m trying to remember those times B III saw me at peace, SIGH. I’ve said before that I don’t blame Banfield Pet Hospital. I’m guilty; I’m a murderer. But then ten years Inspector.

Braxton had 15+ and of those first five. Hell, how long was I with my Olds? I must have been twenty-one when I first met my son. As much as I want to say it was my rage at the Day Job, how can I account for wasting thirty-six years of my life? Almost thirty-seven. Um, my Olds, to the Day Job supervisors and managers, even Carolina Bound sometimes. From praise, to pardon, to pain, what they must think about me. I need earbuds. To know, the one I love the most as far as his opinion of me never spoke a single word Echo. Inspector, I imagine he’s as dedicated to watching me. Like, my sister had him watching the Disney Channel. I’m Onlyfans

You know me, I would do anything to get out of another day at the Day Job. Anything but yeah, publish a book or stop punishing my penis. Graphic, um, I’m sorry Echo for that. To think I saved that for the shower. Or when Braxton was on punishment, playing in the sun, or preaching to the neighbors. Inspector, there’s the news today from OnlyFans. Braxton is watching me be late enough as it is. Talking to you, but at least I’m not in bed. Didn’t I say something before about WWBD (What Would Braxton Do). Dad’s wasting his life. I can say for 15+ I found myself capable of loving one with everything, Echo. How To Save A Life… Braxton, I B Seeing Ya.

“I keep asking God what I’m for
And he tells me “Gee, I’m not sure.” Alan Menken, Skid Row (Downtown)

206 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

WillLeave a comment

Make sure to bring a sharable (fries), don’t let the grass grow tall enough to poke my little B, let me go outside if you’re trying to cook. Those are only a few of Braxton’s rules, and now the house and life are lawless but TRADITION. Rules Can B A

Sunday, August 22, 2021

Chronicle 052 ~Rules Can B A…~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there are no rules, but as for you… Make the bed might be one more.

Speaking of one, what’s one more humiliation, an accident, or betrayal. I’d say you’re going to Hell but been there and done that. What, I don’t do inspirational Pep Talks. Instead, I know you’re thinking about the last time you were at the Day Job. Do we go to you at the kiosk? How about your Stupidity at price changes? Oh, it gets worse too. If it wasn’t your first time working the kiosk in a decade, it’s your first car accident with someone. You’d never say you’re a good driver, but I felt that fear returning the other day. Then, of course, I went to PetSmart as well. I could say I hadn’t petted another dog since Braxton for 201 Days. Then 202… add that to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Patient (short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

That’s the thing, mourning doesn’t have any rules until it does. Rules are Rules, as I read in The Theta Patient. Now you’re all into The Theta Timeline. Would you look at that, a connection? At the moment, you don’t know who you are but with B’s death and books. Hell, there’s a whole series of rules written down to life, so why don’t you read them? I don’t know what I was envisioning when buying that “Budget Guns” magazine. Now you’re dealing with some thoughts. You know you must be careful voicing such opinions. Petting that dog… I needed a bit of life, but the thing is, I don’t deserve it. The good news is life makes it as hard as Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Timeline (Novel)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There are no rules other than those you have made for yourself that you won’t follow. How about the government you tell M Anime that you believe in? There are all the unwritten ones. For when you get out of this bed and face the people of this world. Man in the mirror. If anything, right now, you only want to finish this conversation in two hours and fifteen minutes. It’s only an idea that you feel deems you worthy of having a nap in the afternoon. Like in Blue Gender, when you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you or B III, right? He Knows

Interestingly, I chose to break B III’s rule of coming home smelling like other dogs. Is that a Hell-worthy trespass… Yes, Rules Can B A…

203 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 048 ~B Rating My Tears~

WillLeave a comment

My father would kick my ass for crying. I don’t remember the last time I cried, and it wasn’t about B III. 199 days now, and every single one, there have been some tears. At least it’s a moment in time I’m not sleeping my life away. B Rating My Tears

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Chronicle 048 ~B Rating My Tears~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be making a good start if my tears cost a dollar at least.

A penny for my thoughts, but I’m not The Band Perry. If I Die Young, no such luck. I’m an old man Inspector Echo and once again repeating myself, so was Braxton. But he is always my baby. Every thought, well okay, that’s a lie but plenty, bring the waterworks. The same week I was finishing an A.J. Markham novel; I also read The Last Astronaut by Chris Dietzel. Short story made shorter, it’s about a man fleeing into space because of a cat. THEY say no one can hear you scream. Now, most of the story people couldn’t or wouldn’t. I know you must be getting sick of me talking about it. Here I am on a Sunday afternoon, knowing What Hurts The Most.

The Band Perry and now Rascal Flatts. If I wanted to cry today, I would listen to He’s My Son. I’ve already had my cry session today out of the blue. I should be ashamed when it comes to “Stuff And Thangs.” How about whatever humiliation happened Day Job wise. I’m writing this early after realizing how easy it would be to put up a gallery about Braxton, and I haven’t on Day 199. At least I know what I’ll be crying about on Thursday. 200 Days without Braxton. Tony Baker’s son died. That man’s stronger than me, no doubt. Inspector, he talks about his village but as for me… I wish I had a friend like Subotai from Conan The Barbarian. Cry for me

Inspector, when I’m crying, I’m not sleeping. It took The Last Astronaut decades to think Happy Thoughts about his cat, Bob. In “The Tomorrow War,” Dan got to see his daughter again. Some happy tears for M Anime, who turns thirty-three today, third best friend. Carolina Bound told me that if her husband wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle. She would have walked right back up without him. To have happy tears, I’ll have to remember to fetch the dictionary. Never will be ahem; Happy Emergence Day. Yet, I wonder why I’m not “Successful” for all my blood, sweat, and tears. Does happiness take as much out of you as rage and sadness? If I’m lucky, I won’t go B Rating My Tears.

199 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 045 ~ Askin’ To Stay Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

Like the song, I don’t belong here, but when B sat on my lap or laid on my legs as I read or decide it was bedtime, it was as if I had permission to stay. Only I didn’t afford him that luxury, and what am I doing in PetSmart. Askin’ To Stay Braxton.

Sunday, August 15, 2021

Chronicle 045 ~ Askin’ To Stay Braxton~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but can you get there in the next couple of days? The end of the month, hmm?

Get where? Around this time, you would be dreading your next work shift, and you are. Emergence Day is coming. Only like me, you’re “trapped” on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Oh, sure, like “The Tomorrow War” (you haven’t forgotten), you jump between rafts. How about Wednesday, February 10, 2021. When B returned… a reminder is unnecessary. Yesterday is now going on the list, Saturday, August 14, 2021. I’ve said before. With all the fears in life and what scared me on the 13th, the scene of the crime made sense. It’s the first time I stepped foot inside PetSmart since getting Braxton “the remains.” Don’t ever forget the truth of what happened. Now that’s something you could never do. Then there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 5 (Hardcore Dungeon Core) – A LitRPG Series Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

So besides letting my boy down, letting my boy down, and oh yeah, letting my boy down, what have I been doing? More like what are you planning to do. It’s your time, your turn. You’re looking for one day, only one that you can be proud of. No, it won’t be today. You woke up late, and you’re on the couch instead of at the table. You’re already exhausted. Do you know what made Braxton’s day every day? See, you want to say French Fries, his walks, or when he got off guard duty. What or rather who brings all that to him, YOU. And that was enough to ask for him to stay, regardless of anything else. Blame him for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Theta Patient (short)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Don’t you wish, but you were a fuck up with this list while B III was alive. So it’s pretty easy to say you’re stuck when again, as always, you know the truth. You’re lazy. Staying in Hell keeps you warm, at least when you no longer have a cute puppy to do it now. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to pet any of those dogs at PetSmart. It would have been such a betrayal. Even if you find some way to escape Hell, answer this question. Where are you going? In the Bible, it says this “Hell followed him.” With Braxton, he took Heaven. So you’ve got nowhere to go, and my advice for you is to start building. Home… Askin’ To Stay Braxton.

You are where you do not belong.
Whisperer, TWD

196 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 041 ~B Side Me Driving~

WillLeave a comment

Is there anything worse than being STUPID? I suppose being dead, but I know plenty of wise dead men. I sat beside one for 15 +years. But for his genius, he feared getting in the car. Hell, I’m 36 and will be 37 when again? B Side Me Driving

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

Chronicle 041 ~B Side Me Driving~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’ve always debated whether I would ever drive again. Limos, have to come with drivers?

Now I’m not here to debate driverless cars. Dealing with one other driver was enough for me Monday. As I said, I’m not going to forget that ever. Which leads me to my first sin of what, today? I’ve had to commit several, which is why I’m talking on Tuesday. Driving is a necessary evil. I‘m not turning into Sheldon Cooper, considering I’ve been driving for decades… Jesus, what’s my age again? So my sin is not the fact that I could have hurt someone. I’m glad I didn’t, but I’ve cried more over B III than some old lady. My sin is the fact that I won’t get over my STUPIDITY. Reasons for Self-Harm 101 ahem, my father, Braxton, and everything I consider STUPID.

So the world is one gigantic torture chamber. I spoke about a lot of movies yesterday or today (Tuesday). I can’t watch any film that’s STUPIDITY for STUPIDITY’S sake. For the record, I wasn’t on my phone or anything when the collision happened. Blaming myself? I don’t even know if I should, though the lady seemed to think it was my fault. I didn’t claim guilt, but what I find fault in the fact that I still draw breath? The Day Job, the lady, the cop if dude decided to beat my black ass (dude didn’t). My Olds. Braxton’s Death. Inspector Echo, it’s all my fault, and I deserve to be punished. But like the song, “I said, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.”

Fuck me, I was a better driver with Braxton. I should have started a list of reasons I need him. I could sum that up in one word, LIFE. Save my Braxton, save the world. Speaking of yet another reason to like The Tomorrow War. By loving one beast, I could hate myself a little bit less. I’ve said it, as I hated the world and myself, that killed Braxton. Driving with him, seeing as he would never sit down, I had to slow down. I wasn’t rushing to get out of the way. While I wanted to get “home,” well, Braxton was my heart. Was I looking for a reason to finally face justice? I won’t ever be A-ok. But B Side Me Driving

192 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 038 ~Closing Time Will B~

WillLeave a comment

Closing time for the Olympics. After the Opening Ceremony and trying for two days… yeah, if I didn’t close my eyes to sleep (not that I was bored). I was exhausted, but that didn’t stop me from watching YouTube or seeing my son. “Closing Time Will B”

Sunday, August 8, 2021

Chronicle 038 ~Closing Time Will B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s a little bit funny that you think you can get on my level, day one.

I suppose I should be proud that you dragged your pathetic ass out of bed and to the table. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky considering my failures in the last week. I envy you that you won’t have to slog through the week I did. Of course, I know you’ll feel the same. So how are you right now? That eye a bother, sigh. I did what I could, ok, so I fucked-up. Is your tongue still on fire? As I was telling Lady Lu, at least at this stage, it’s not COVID. You don’t know how to explain it when you gather your strength to move. Wakefulness is something to be treasured. Although failures become more prominent, um Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Voter, A Great De-Evolution Novelette, Chris Dietzel, Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of what you’ve been seeing since you awoke, do you intend to watch the Olympic Closing Ceremony? You could do that now, and you should with the week you’re about to face. You’re going to need all the sleep you can get these days. Maybe you’ll learn about closing something other than your eyes. Haven’t we talked about having a problem with closure as though you’re Sheldon Cooper? It’s one of the reasons you’re not in the ground yet. How about sitting right next to B III, you think? Don’t think you’re forgetting about him anytime soon. It’s why, like it or not, I was searching for other levels of pain. What you did to him was a Circle Nine Sin. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus 5 (Hardcore Dungeon Core) – A LitRPG Series
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell, if you were to do these things, would that earn absolution, salvation? How about joining Braxton. As I said yesterday. Be careful with the language as people do SUCK. Today you should be much further ahead. But I did receive some news the other day, and as much as you deserve judgment, I was trying to keep you out of jail. Cell door closing. How long has B’s box remained closed? One more thing for the memorial list, hmm? “Stuff And Thangs” should be closed since I doubt you’ll be doing anything this week. What about closing your bed as in making it up to resist such incredible temptation. The sweet temptation to close your eyes yet you always see. Closing Time Will B

189 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

WillLeave a comment

I shouldn’t jinx myself on wanting to be a father. 15 years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted, and now seven months later, I’m not sure what I’ve got. I know I’d give these days back for Braxton. Only this is “my” life. “B Leave, You Asked” but didn’t

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Chronicle 034 ~B Leave, You Asked~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and before you get on me about the title… Let’s not talk about the Basic Bitch.

Remember “Autumn Leaves,” that’s how this blog got up in the first place. Braxton leaves too, well, on Sunday, January 31, 2021. A day which will live in infamy, as does this fact. I never asked to be Braxton’s Daddy. Don’t get me wrong, Echo, B blessed me 15 years. Only I never asked for him. That’s what I was musing about at the Day Job today. Johnny Cash sings in HURT, “What have I become.” He never asked for such a life, I take it. How about Kid Rock’s ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY? “You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.” Did he ask for the life he made? A life decision; what he asked? I didn’t ask for Braxton.

While I was humiliated yet again, “Tuesday,” I wasn’t asking for ideas. Who would ask to waste their life at my Day Job for a decade, and yet there I was. Inspector, here I am. Dammit, who would ask to be sitting here in bed with no signs of a future? Let’s keep the tunes running with R. Kelly’s I WISH. “Y’all look at me and say, boy, you’ve been blessed. But y’all don’t see the inside of my unhappiness.” I keep saying Inspector who asked. Should I say it was Braxton because it didn’t matter to him as long as we were together, Echo? It wasn’t his choice to die. I made that decision, and I didn’t ask. Asking to be a murderer?

That’s why I should be quiet? No, because when I am, life gives me all these things I didn’t ask for. At the same time, if I open my mouth to speak, what good is accomplished? Wanting a job to hold me over when I’m asking for time and again what do I do with it. Well, I’m still talking to you when I should be reading because I’m damn exhausted. Looking for something to do so I got someone to love. Yeah, I was looking for Yabbos for one night, and instead, I got four paws sharing my bed for 15 years. Fuck some Yabbos. Hell, if Braxton wanted anything, it would be for me to give up sleep. I couldn’t. B Leave, You Asked.

185 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

WillLeave a comment

Since I wasn’t working all night on “My Turn to B III,” I helped myself to a movie, just what I needed a father losing his kid (oops.) I’m not looking forward to this week, when have I ever because I know. “B There Tomorrow Will.”

Sunday, August 1, 2021

Chronicle 031 ~B There Tomorrow Will~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I know that you wouldn’t be worried about Space if you were. No, you’d Time Travel.

It’s no secret that I don’t think of the consequences of my actions many a time. Last night I saw “The Tomorrow War” (thanks M Anime, ha). Now you’re the one that has to think about it for the next week or so. Better than a new month of treats lying in B III’s room. Even more so, that the week that lies before you. It will be one of those. I’m so sorry, bro. So what’s with the bro? While we’re on pop culture, I finished reading Succubus Lord. Will you watch Werewolves Within? I wonder what time you’ll find your bed, bro hmm? Everything reminds you of Braxton. That’s something that’s not going to change any time soon, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #19) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Finish Braxton’s Novel (Yet To Be Titled)
    Completed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, two of them will, at least. Again no more Succubus Lord and I didn’t leave you with the failure of Braxton’s Novel, “My Turn to B III.” There is only that of watching your son die at all. Once more, with the time machine. If you could go back and save B III’s life? Chris Pratt “Dan Forester” knew he was saving his daughter’s life after… should I say it? I’ll show the video anyway. Jacob and Todd got the happy ending. Jacob is The Master of All Creation, and Todd rules the Third Circle of Hell with Zoey. I’m just full of endings. You’ll know the ending of Werewolves Within soon. I think you have a problem with closure like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, The Last Voter, A Great De-Evolution Novelette, Chris Dietzel
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s your endings, at least. The motivations talk about, if you believe the future will be no better than the past, you won’t want to leave your sheets in the AM ever. Case and point, where are you right now? I failed in the past, and now how does your future look? Yep, it sucks. For once, it’s not fear that stops you. It is experience. It’s what has you plotting how to get out of a particular shift this week. Because you don’t want to be some good-for-nothing fucktard… pardon my language. You can’t do something Day Job wise, yet you dream of better. I don’t know what answers to give you… Stay Alive. Only for what, always for B? B There Tomorrow Will

182 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

WillLeave a comment

I wrote so early and posted it so late. I cannot fail my son again. Only, I’ve spent all the rest of this day in bed and before that… well I time travel? As the song goes, My Lazy Ass, but I have been writing about my son. “Not Another Word… B”

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Chronicle 027 ~Not Another Word… B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because I don’t make excuses. Today has been pretty humiliating. I haven’t lived it.

I am, of course, talking about Saturday the 24th. If I was a betting man, I would put money on the fact that Wednesday hasn’t been anything to talk about. Oh, I have done plenty of talking today, right here from bed. If Braxton were here, this couldn’t stand. Inspector, I wouldn’t blame him in the slightest for bitching me out. Okay, I’d tell Braxton to shush it, but I would deserve it. You heard me right about being in bed all day. The farthest I have walked was to fetch my computer. The world, Sick Sad World Inspector. I wish I could tell you it was other people; good, they may be, who had the problems. All my dicking around watching Girlfriend Reviews SIGH.

I’m not sick. Well, physically, I hope. Um, the last time I went out, and that was for BBQ, E. Mentally, the best psychiatrist I ever had was B III, and somehow he made everything okay for me. Now my head is a mess, and all I know is, I did worse today than yesterday. It also didn’t help that I got all in about the day Braxton died. To think that I could cover all of that in one chapter of his novel, about 2,500 words. If I want more shame, how about the fact that I haven’t finished the damn thing yet? When I reread this, what? Inspector Echo, do I expect to be done? If I was doing 5000 words these days?

No, Friday it was only 3100 words, so I could not watch The Olympics. You know what I mean, I diddled on my phone all evening and did some security. Speaking of which, you see the alerts that have been going off. Inspector Echo I want to say “disappear,” careful. I was reminded of that time with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Besides Braxton being gone, what else can I say? In a few minutes, I will get up and honor my son as always. I’ll eat some sour worms, get the mail, come back and read. Routine dear Echo. But I am once again failing Braxton. I’m failing everybody. B bothers me more, Inspector. How I wish he was here. Not Another Word… B

178 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 024 ~Does B Give A’s~

WillLeave a comment

As Negan would put it, “today was a productive damn day,” not that this SOB did it all. 4800 words when I should have 5000. There’s still time, isn’t it? Not with the Olympics and a pretty girl’s words. “Does B Give A’s,” if he knew me back in school

Sunday, July 25, 2021

Chronicle 024 ~Does B Give A’s~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because Braxton was a Hell of a teacher. You’re writing a Hell of a story.

Okay, so one of those things ain’t true. I don’t know if B III has forgiven me, and you won’t know by the end of this week. If Braxton could grade you on being a parent as you once graded your own Ma. As you judge your Father. What do you think you would receive? All I can tell you is that now I’m proud of you. You didn’t quite get 5000 words. 4800 to be accurate unless you want to go for the gold. You’ll save that for the Olympics you’re going to watch, ha? Go TEAM USA! You know this country isn’t looking too good in other yep. I don’t mean to get on politics with you considering everything and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #18) by Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of Braxton
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I fucked up again, pardon my French. One more reason to miss Braxton that you should add to the novel, well, two. He never cared if you “Messed Up.” Hell, it was with his death that you might as well start singing “That’s How You Know You Fucked Up.”
This brings up just how much you will lose this week. Today you were on the verge of greatness. I’m talking about a mere 400 words from meeting where you should be on NaNoWriMo. Do you think it matters to B if you make it to 50,000 words in his memory?
It doesn’t matter to anyone else either, but it’s like you’re under a spell. As Jacob would play Only You and Six Impossible Things:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OwpP7keW6s
  1. I AM Finishing Reading, Succubus Lord 18 (Succubus Lord #18) by Eric Vall
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Finish Braxton’s Novel (Yet To Be Titled)
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Braxton was such a patient teacher. Lying there as you looked up YouTube videos in-between writing. He watched so many NaNoWriMo’s and camps and listened to the excuses you would give about the life that he should have. Do you think his life was an A+? When you’re done, will you put your work out there to be critiqued, graded, judged by the rest of the world? Don’t look at it through the lens of their being so much worse. Yeah, with these two weeks, and hopefully, you’ll catch all of the next one. Needing advice? Don’t let this day go to waste. How you’ve come so far, and you have 11,400 more words to go. Don’t make your future self-ask. Does B Give A’s?

175 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will