Tag: Sunday

Chronicle 185 ~In A 2nd B~

WillLeave a comment

I lost my “Toy Soldier,” a Real One, my second in command. You don’t go and get another one out of the blue. Instead, I think with all the seconds of the day, all the ones when he wanted to play, the words I wanted to say. When I wake up. In a 2nd B.

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Chronicle 185 ~In A 2nd B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but as Eric Thomas put it. You love dreaming more than you love success. Well, Braxton’s there.

At least that’s what you wish you could say, isn’t it? Last night my work messed with your sleep. Not to mention all of my dickery. So I’m sorry and welcome to the new year. First, it looks plenty like the old one, doesn’t it? Hell, feels like I’m going to be apologizing to you all day. What is this, your second cry of the new year? This time last year, Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~. I was thinking that Braxton the Imp needed to get checked out. Damn, how you hate reading about your first failure of that year. Well, the only loss that mattered, sigh. I’ve said the epitome of manhood is that of fatherhood. Then I fail at Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Night Before, Dani Wyatt
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

First failures of many with the start of the new year. Yeah, you’re counting the seconds until the next one. I ain’t gonna lie to you; this week will suck. The good news is, you found a second way to HURT. Dangerous words. Self-harm by way of language. Remember when you thought that asking for another second was reasonable? Don’t worry, you will. Every day, I wish to gather all those seconds that Braxton wanted to spend with me and bottle them up. Let me squish them together and get a second chance to be the man I want to be, the father. You could do that instead of sitting in bed naked, thinking of how you’ll waste the day again. Opportunities, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading My Dog Has Died: What Do I Do
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of My B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That is if you aren’t too busy thinking about that third leg. Yeah, when you weren’t missing Braxton, your dreams weren’t the nicest… to some. Mind, body, and soul, or how about heart, soul, and mind. Well, Braxton is your heart. Your mind says, “Stay Alive.” With your soul, does that belong to the Devil or your doggie? Inevitably God. Bedazzled wasn’t that great of a movie, was it? Nowhere near your third favorite. So why live the life of a Third-Class Citizen? Three-Fifths, a man? Forever settling for third-place? Am I trying to be inspiring? Whether you want it or not, this week will come but not you. What The Fuck! Should have told the world to give a second. In a 2nd B

Gospel 185 ~Here I Am, Will~

336 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 178 ~B III Of Christmas~

WillLeave a comment

Well, you survived Christmas; what are you going to down now. “Keep on rollin’, baby, you know what time it is,” as the song goes. How about Just Look Up? I told Braxton he’d be as tall as a king, and he’s up there now even after… B III Of Christmas.

Sunday, December 26, 2021

Chronicle 178 ~B III Of Christmas~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but for the love of everything. If you get on my level, please don’t be Peter Isherwell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFQlTB4cw4k

“Don’t Look Up,” a good movie, is one more thing that helped me survive the “holiday,” sigh. That and a bit of time travel. Which is what you should be doing now. But will you? Before that, there was also all that “stuffing the stocking” that I did. Even on Christmas, you’re thinking must I be so crude. It’s not like anyone’s here. Well, B, but I overate, I’m sorry. There was no one to share with. Then again, what did I spend all afternoon doing? I spent money on three women. Better to give than receive, am I right? It was tiring but fulfilling. Hell, make it four women if you count an issue of Playboy with Charisma Carpenter. Oh counting, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Meet Me Under The Mistletoe (Erotica) by Stacey Kennedy
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’re much better at keeping count of the 329 Days without Braxton. Are you supposed to be proud of that fact? You’re still alive. 161 Days without jerking Willy monster. Speaking of such, Matt has Shelby for that now, “Girlfriend Reviews,” or “Fiancé Reviews.” Yup, good news but it in no way affects you. Enough bad news that does ha. If you want to be positive and thankful. Besides that, Playboy magazine. There’s the other stuff I bought you, compliments of Braxton’s Aunt Carolina Bound. Again staying in bed. You’re not depressed, and at the same time, yeah, you are? If you’re not, there’s only one thing left for you. ACCEPTANCE. Never. There could be a puppy waiting, but first, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Night Before, Dani Wyatt
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And most of them haven’t changed for the most part, even here at The Closing Of The Year. You’re more concerned with New Year’s Resolutions. See Braxton through the year. There’s the New Year, Dr. King’s Birthday. And the day that Braxton died. You killed. You should get your booster shot, New Year’s Day. One more chance to join Braxton. What will you be telling Lady Lu, if anything? “Don’t Look Up” sums up your life in a nutshell. Black man in a house surrounded by love but none of it his. Always waiting, ok. You might as well read “The Man Who Watched The World End.” After December, of course. Free of Christmas Erotica, of cash, of love, never Braxton. B III Of Christmas

329 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 171 ~So Smile, B Reasonable~

WillLeave a comment

Grin and bear it, THEY say. I’m sick of laughing, leaving so many smiles in my mask. Fake smiles. God, I love masks. How about living life this way, alone? I did before then for 15 years I had B. It wasn’t enough, but THEY say. So Smile, B Reasonable

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Chronicle 171 ~So Smile, B Reasonable~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you get to be a lazy ass today. Well, isn’t that most Sundays? The Long Walk?

Besides being a book, you want to read. Only not this month. It’s fucking creepy to be in PetSmart on a Sunday. The day Braxton died. Wednesday, specifically Wednesday, February 10, 2021, is no good for the record. Also, add Thursday, February 4. Reasonable right? Braxton’s death, picking up his remains; when he was cremated. You guess if you’re not going to PetSmart or picking up Braxton’s prints at Walmart. Well, you have time to cry, and it beats dick… Did you come up with that? Better crying than jacking. Anyway, we’ll get to that. So the reason you’re not smiling today is that Saturday was my last chance. I’m sorry I failed you, but you will spend Christmas alone. Oh, there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Nanny by Elizabeth Kelly
    Completed (53 from 52)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Failing at these things is only one more tradition. Last night I tried. There’s reading Christmas Erotica while Braxton naps. Watching Santa’s travels, Christmas Eve. Inevitable that I would smile. I mean a genuine smile. I was able to do it without thinking. Much like jacking off, when I smile any day, I feel disgusted after. You will, as well. Um, not the jacking, but there are no guarantees there. Only we’ll get there, dammit. Tis the season of joy, like going to Disney World or saying you love someone. The last time I said those words? Hell, I tried smiling; I don’t remember if I did or not. Jim Kelly said, “I’ll be too busy looking good” with his defeat. Braxton looked angelic. But me failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Meet Me Under The Mistletoe, Stacey Kennedy
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums (Picture Daily)
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

While you were working on Stuff and Thangs this morning, OnlyFans. Why don’t you show your face? The way you look. Your body is one thing but the mood, moment, moaning. Such pleasures but no smiling, there’s demand, disgust, destruction. Reasonable to smile or not? Take, for example, your work. Again another novel, grin boy. Days you get off from the hellacious Day Job. But with spending dollars and time? Christmas time is here. And all you know is rage. Again your Republican tendencies, dude. But always and forever, there will be Braxton. The pain from losing him and the “happiness” from his life. Happy is still the wrong word. Smiling and happiness are not mutually exclusive. Living Life This Way… So Smile, B Reasonable

322 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 164 ~B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B~

WillLeave a comment

How to be positive. I remember walking B III and some animal coming close and B wanting me to pick him up. A part of me had to be ready for war, and another had to tell him we’d be ok. When it was people, it was his turn. B-Plus, B Minus, Just B

Sunday, December 12, 2021

Chronicle 164 ~B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, while you’re only hoping to get through the day. Please don’t go manifesting the worst-case scenario. Again?

One of my favorite stories and yours is The Scorpion and The Toad. We’ll get to that. You know how your motivations speak about being grateful. To start each and every day with gratitude. What was the first thing that came to mind when you got up? I mean, for real. There’s the fact that you were hard as a rock, but the bedsheets remain immaculate. Braxton’s “memorial,” “tribute,” is it “routine” continued as scheduled, flawless. Impossible, but you will be getting out of bed today to go somewhere. Doggies, B-Dubs. Already you’re thinking of all the negatives. You’re not fucking for real. You’re almost out of treats for B III. The bag in his drawer is empty. And Sunday is the worst day now.

See, with everything going on in your mind. You’re forgetting about those Six Impossible Things. Yet you will keep on moving. Here’s a question. What’s the difference between a B-Plus and a B-Minus? How about B positive blood and B negative. You’re a D student. Speaking of which, that’s what you’re always thinking with, you’re D. A sad world, hmm? You’re about to spend more money you shouldn’t, on what. Hot sauce, fast food, Yabbos. The fact that yet again a week has gone by and what have I done? What will you do now? If anything, you need to get up and start getting ready to head out. And so what if you came back with a friend, woman, or dog. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Christmas Special (LitRpg)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

They will still be here no matter what. This leads me back into the story. I’m sure sometime this week, I talked about those saying love yourself first. To be happy because that’s no one else’s responsibility. All my fuck ups aren’t yours, and yet you will. What am I doing, time-traveling again? No, today is Sunday, and this week you will be exhausted from the Day Job when you talk to the girls. I’m suggesting that you can’t change who you are. If anything, I can only wish you the best of luck. Not jailed, fired, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading The Christmas Nanny by Elizabeth Kelly
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums (A Picture Daily)
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 024 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Things that may come true; Because as far as you being a positive person at some point this week. My friend, B-Plus, B-Minus, Just B.

315 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 157 ~Time To B Wasted~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t drink… much. If anything, I refer you to “Drunk On You.” A big thanks to Braxton’s Aunt (not my actual sister.) I owe her TWO big thumbs up for keeping me UP a little longer. I went to bed at a reasonable hour though still… “Time To B Wasted”

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Chronicle 157 ~Time To B Wasted~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I would say if you listened to your motivations… Hate to tell you, but that’s illegal.

The start of a new week, and you haven’t stopped ranting, raving about “air pods.” Brother, I don’t blame you. No wonder you took a chance to cover your shift. Should have done it yesterday, but that was my own cowardice, my apologies to you. Anyway, if you could listen to your air pods at the Day Job, it would only be to people’s reactions. There’s nothing wrong with that, I know. It’s only the facts these past few days. If not that, then how about crying for your son again. Here you are all dressed up with nowhere to go. You even shaved, and for what? Hell, you counted out $310.00 in your wallet. No doggies at PetSmart. But movement on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 011 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Nope, I was, and indeed you are wasting time. Can you imagine if you added a puppy to the mix? Speaking of mixing, don’t you have shrimp waiting for you in the sink. You have a mouth to feed since even breathing seems to be a time suck. Rather starve? Dammit! If it means going to the Day Job, which seems more and more inevitable. The time is winding down. Again, this is all my fault. Fear, friend, stands as one fucking waste of time. Pardon your language. Meaning to say something else but corrections? Shouldn’t I say erections? Didn’t you start writing at 1:00 PM and now 2:20? Can’t I be proud of you for at least finishing your reading? Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus Christmas Special (LitRpg)
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 017 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

As you never ever have time for them. Or at least that’s what you’ll keep telling yourself. When it comes to getting out of work, you’ll have all the time in the world. Whether it be the Day Job, writing; this conversation we should have. You will always find something. Being a father, though. To be Braxton’s daddy again. I’ll never forget those last days. Every breath he took, there was not a single second taken for granted. Do you recall love doesn’t tell time? Um, when you’re dying? That’s why you’re a stickler timewise. Chronomentrophobia. You fear you have way too much time for THEM. What you have for yourself… wasted. And B III died because he wasn’t given enough. Time To B Wasted

308 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 150 ~B There One Day~

WillLeave a comment

If I could have one day, any day at all, well, it would be one with B in the world. I dreamed of a beach day with a wife and two kids, Braxton on a blanket. Another with Braxton and my two kids and then running to me, old man he is. “B There One Day”

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Chronicle 150 ~B There One Day~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as dismissive as I want to be towards you, I’ll say this… you can make it.

But as for now, you’re ashamed. So you are one day away from the end. “Behave In The Cherry Patch.” So the shame; you think of how you should have been toward B III, hmm? You’ve blown off getting your eyes checked and the car fixed, and because of what? It’s the story. One story that won’t ever be published or read, and come Monday, nothing. Like everything else in your life, you go through the motions of accomplishment. But never the acceptance that it all means nothing. The only exception, of course, is B III. Did you refill his water bowl this evening? Yeah, while you were dicking off. You’ll be late to watching Fear The Walking Dead. Even later with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Only Gone From Your Sight, Kate McGahan, Jack McAfghan
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 011 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I swear, will there come a day where this list will be checked off. Every single thing but, of course, this is my failure and my disgrace. You will have yours soon, no question there. Now I’m starting to understand why you’ve got “A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home.” That’s how you feel, knowing I’m trying to warn you about the past. Dammit, the future looks like right now, which means you won’t heed it. If I can offer you any comfort at all. You won’t be writing until 7:10 PM in the evening or later with wasted ick. You are the monster, and one day… well, you don’t even know what to hope for. Is it peace or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading A Sincere Warning About the Entity in Your Home
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 011 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The Day Job week hasn’t even begun yet, and you’re hating that song “Someday At Christmas.” No offense to Stevie Wonder, but why then? Why not right now with things. You drift back and forth between someday and one day, and most you wish you didn’t have to wake up at all. Who knows how you’ll pass this night but to finish the book, hmm? That right there is why you write. For that moment of doing something… I don’t know great, generous, gross, but you’ve read plenty of books like that. Remember Succubus, yep. One day I won’t feel like a failure, and you won’t be seeing it down the road. Someday B III will see what you were trying. B There One Day

301 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 143 ~You Alright, B Alright~

WillLeave a comment

If I had a time machine, I would travel to when I was a great man. Okay, a good one. Well, I was Alright, I suppose, when I was a Daddy. I was a lazy ass then, but B III didn’t mind, and as long as he was Alright. “You Alright, B Alright” please

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Chronicle 143 ~You Alright, B Alright~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and seeing how lazy you are, answer me this. Are you any closer to time travel yet?

Do you remember those days? I swear not in November. Besides no movement on the NaNoWriMo front. You’d go back earlier today and tell your supervisor, shut the fuck up. You don’t even want to think about the rest of this week. If anything, you wish that it was over now. That’s no different than any other week, but now you’re feeling it. It sucks. Sunday always sucks. Hell, you can list the pros and cons, but you don’t have time for that. It can all be summed up in one word. Braxton. Time travel, go back to January 31st. That’s what’s pretty fucked up. To go back to where words mattered and what would you say. Braxton, are you okay? Are you okay, Braxton?

  1. I AM Finishing Reading I Am Nelson (Hmm…)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

It would make more sense than these Six Impossible Things I didn’t do. Okay, 1, and you’re following in my footsteps when it comes to books. Euthanasia, another hated word. Somehow every book is about the loss of best friends these days. Well, you shouldn’t say all that. 1 is a point, 2 is a line, 3 makes a pattern. Have you already forgotten? Pathetic. I don’t blame you, though. This whole damn month has been something. Woke up this morning and discovered that B was missing a treat. No, never will there be Acceptance. B III is gone, and… I wanted to say you ain’t crazy. Even though this is your first day, you’re way worse. Is it alright to try Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Only Gone From Your Sight, Kate McGahan, Jack McAfghan
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On A Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I couldn’t do them, and I don’t want to pass that curse on to you, but here you are. Only you, and that was a sad thought today. All that damn Christmas music was playing. This will be the first Christmas in 16 years you’ll be on your own. You’re getting as bad as these people with their trees up. I think I said Saturday, survive Turkey Day, and then? Every day is like, Alright, that happened, keep going. There’s no moving on, no forward. You hate the holidays because it’s not happy or honored. Hashtag anything good for you. It’s tragedy after tragedy, and who could be alright with that. The same person who ain’t Alright with Braxton being gone. You Alright, B Alright

294 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 094 ~Someday B It Sunday~

WillLeave a comment

Sunday was his last day. A case of the Mondays. Taco Tuesday, do they still have nacho fries? Hump Day. Thursday, I knew he was sick. Working for the weekend. Saturday night’s not alright and repeat. Hell is repetition. Someday B It Sunday.

Sunday, October 3, 2021

Chronicle 094 ~Someday B It Sunday~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you could be too but not today. Monday would help because I’m not going to be.

If it’s any consolation, I did get more work done yesterday, despite all my tears. I’m sorry I chased Carolina Bound off (for the moment…). Hell, I apologize for using M Anime as an excuse. If I paid as much attention to Braxton as I did Books, Boobs, and Bedrooms. Tell you what, I am proud that here you are on another Off Day at 4:00 AM. Not the floor. How bad do you want to take yourself back to bed… not involving OnlyFans mischief? Do you have what it takes to go to the dining room when the time comes; B III’s meds? How many Sundays has it been? In Days, it’s been 245. The worse part of a year for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Connected Souls (Short)
    Completed
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Partial
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
    Failed
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I told you I wouldn’t be of much help. To help yourself when you couldn’t do anything for your son. I swear Sundays are cursed days. Tupac wrote, “cause even our birthdays is cursed days.” On that note, you hate E-Day. Braxton had Feb 13th, but dying on a Sunday. Sunday always meant church, threats from your father. Awaiting all the horrors that were to come during the week. B III’s dead. Anything that happens this week can’t top that. The Walking Dead is coming on tonight; wrestling sometimes. With how I felt last night (Carolina Reaper Wings…). Today you’re doing pretty damn awesome physically. Only you’ll be back to routine but didn’t Stephen King say, that’s what Hell is, repetition, plus Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Finishing Reading Succubus 7 Fairy Tale ― A LitRPG Series
  2. I AM Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published SIGH
  4. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL Work On Getting My Tattoo Of B III
  6. I WILL Be The Man My Son Thinks I Am

The sad thing is it could be worse… Um no? Thinking such a thing always looks like a step towards Acceptance. Nothing is worse than Braxton being gone. Another life? Every week is filled with, as always, Humiliations Galore. Hell, the highlights include praying if there is a God that you don’t wake up. Fast food might kill you. Sleeping. Saturdays are always about betrayal. I told Carolina Bound about her boys Thor and Loki getting bigger, growing up without a home. This house isn’t home. Not without B III. Sundays though, fuck, you have so many girls to talk to because this week is going to suck. Listen to your motivations, but you know like Fallout, War, War Never Changes. Someday B It Sunday

245 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 239 ~Braxton, Walkers, Biters, Empties~

WillLeave a comment

“You wanna go outside,” I’d ask him, and he’d go running and hopping down to our gate or the front door, and the two of us would “walk” these streets, um suburbs. Our last walk, his, he didn’t have to make but hope… Braxton, Walkers, Biters, Empties.

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Gospel 239 ~Braxton, Walkers, Biters, Empties~

Just Me Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for mine, I walked, I worked, I wigged-out. Only us walking, one more walk…

I’ve told the story of our first walk and the aftermath so many times. I remember even earlier than that. There was a time when you couldn’t decide whether you wanted to go two steps forward or two steps back. One of the many reasons you didn’t believe your furry behind should ever meet tile, hardwood, the deck, whatever. I still feel you sitting on my feet. Oh, I know the law well, my friend. When I was chosen, I wouldn’t move for forever and a day. Now isn’t that everyone that has ever had a furry kid they loved? I’ll need to find a thesaurus for more words for crying. This Sunday, I’ll face another first without… Braxton, when will I believe you aren’t somewhere waiting in the house? Every Sunday night, you knew where I was and staying.

You would run around the house like a mad man when you were young, but on Sunday nights? People usually love the weekends, but I don’t know what your favorite day is? Anytime we were together. Daddy was always there, but The Walking Dead? “B TV.” We watched movies all the time, you know, with Indiana Gone too, a lot.

When we were young, B III. The doctor told me my eyes weren’t getting better, but they weren’t getting worse. Then the Vet told me not to move stuff around for you. We started walking less. But we would always snuggle up together to this screen or that; books, TV, me, and my writing. I’ve seen the end of the world coming, but not like this. We’re apocalypse buddies, Braxton.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2QCVspC6_4

The Long Walk, The Green Mile, The Running Man, leave it to Stephen King. Do you understand anything I am talking about, Little B? You don’t have to because we lived it every day. On your Vet visits, I would ask, “are you going to walk in like a man?” When we were outside, the people to me were zombies, and you’d bark. The dogs to you were much the same, and I would carry you. I should have carried you around our route one last time, but I was bawling as I prayed for a miracle. You couldn’t even walk in this time, but those trips to your water bowl. I was proud of you. I walk alone now, and Only God Knows Why.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

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Do I love too much for having no one to “love,” well anyone with two legs that is; of course I love my dog like pancakes because he wanted my waffles but that’s a long story. I’m A Wanted Man but for all the wrong reasons that I know sadly.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Lesson 297 ~I’m A Wanted Man~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today or more like I didn’t receive a fine today, thankfully I don’t need bail, and yet here I stand wanted, needed, and loved, the only “Wanted” poster I see is the man staring back at me in the mirror. A man captured by his love and I’m guilty as charged, never let me go, throw away the key, though you won’t hear me calling you the ball and chain, as the song goes “What’s My Age Again?”

I’m not one to compare you to a summer’s day either though I’m sure you’ve heard enough of my romantic quips and my smartphone is a constant source of inspiration such as “I Want You To Want Me.” I want to know a want like putting the phone on shuffle and waiting for that all too perfect song to pop up on Spotify, and you can’t help but dance and sing. You know maybe how I am on a Sunday when I’m watching The Walking Dead/Fear The Walking Dead, “Into The Badlands,” and “Westworld” all rolled into one. An addiction like looking up something on YouTube and getting trapped in a stream of dog videos and reactions to shows, talk about “Let’s Get Lost” and we will be but speaking of wants for some reason I want regular TV too, does that make me weird.

Just like I want to be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed, I want to be like a story you tell yourself to help you sleep, as I would once replay Far Cry 5 or Saints Row in my head I want to be your “Escape.” Hell, I want you to be my Anastasia Steele… what too soon, I mean my Anastasia meets Abraham Ford, let’s make some pancakes one day. I want those pancakes to wake me up in the morning and what is it I always say, I love my dog like pancakes, my first born and all.

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” Abraham Ford

I promise no jokes about women wanting everything and don’t they say “All You Need Is Love” thing is that isn’t a choice, and while I want that too, every day I want to choose us. If this heart has its say I will because I want you, need you, believe, have hope, and many things in-between like the air.

Do I want too much, if wanting such love is a crime then guess what love? I’m A Wanted Man.

I Will Have No Fear