Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

If I had my way, it would be back to lying on the couch with a good book and my boy. It’s like I don’t have the balls to live this life, to even exist, and then I look down. Oh, right… and then there’s the bucks, broads, my book? Lying With Another B

Sunday, July 31, 2022

Saga 030 ~Lying With Another B~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. Hoping I didn’t invest in Sesame Place. Nobody wants to be them. You want to be you…

If anything, you want to be a goddamn adult, a grownup, a fucking man. If you could stop thinking about fucking every second. Pardon your language. But what’s your crime? Every day but Sundays in particular, you remember. B III is gone. Losing him again. That’s another story you’ll get to in a bit. So far today, you haven’t been honoring him. If you are on the floor, it’s only been to cut off the alarm and go back to sleep. What have you been dreaming of? Again we’ll get to that. But this week… fuck. You already hate it. It’s going to be like the week you lost your boy. Hard work and hating the whole damn universe. You’ll change it… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Power of Pets: 7 Effective Tools To Heal From…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE Staying Ahead Of Camp NaNoWriMo
    Completed
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 003 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 010 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

By some miracle, I pulled off three of these things. But to be specific, #4. Dammit, I haven’t been wearing pants except for the Day Job and Saturday. Yet somehow, I survived. It’s been touch and go. The only time I’ve touched my dick is during bathroom time. Hell! This morning as you continued to lounge around in bed. You fell back asleep. Your dream was like prostitution mixed with an episode of Glee. You keep hearing, “That’s the end of my hour, she’s bouncing/bobbing on that…” well, you know. Sang by all the characters as you woke up. Can’t even remember all of the girls flittering through your mind. All you know is the desire to go back to sleep before doing something STUPID or not… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE Finishing, The Story of Us
  2. I WILL BE Finishing Gathering, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE Finishing Braxton’s Book For Camp NaNoWriMo
  4. I WILL BE Keeping It In My Pants (Day 010 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because it goes without saying that you will be finishing the novel today. “The Will To B III.” Yesterday was probably the hardest. And that’s counting those days when you got off your ass and wrote 5000 words. Well, 4600 to go into the novel anyway. But B III’s eulogy? You’re showing more empathy than me. I don’t expect I’ll be hearing from Cherry anytime soon due to my lack of concern for her mum. Yet you want to cry today, oh Braxton, my Braxton. When B passed, I don’t think I had a dream about him right off. Go without a phone one day? That’s fixed. Literally don’t fuck myself and dream of sex always. Being a BOY, bucks, books, Little B. No, rather be Lying With Another B.

546 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

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