Tag: Childhood

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

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One of the worst weeks at the Day Job and that is saying a lot but I haven’t walked out for good, no not yet. Only with all this walking, I have been doing, why couldn’t I do anything a bit more constructive. Someone SHOE Me, Will

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Log 341 ~Someone SHOE Me, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and more than ever, I want that private beach. There are pictures of me on a beach, not that I was allowed to keep any of them. Don’t ever ask me why I have no good memories of my childhood. I don’t have one picture to prove it. Now I don’t mean to be so cranky this Thursday morn or however long it takes to have this chat. By the time you read this, one of the worst weeks of my life has ended. Hell, how do I even keep score? Yesterday (Wednesday), I thought, no one counts days in Hell.

Of course, that was at the Day Job, the SHOE department. Talk about the Law of Attraction. Was this me talking about feet a few days back? Knowing the schedule made me think about my feet. Perhaps I’m feeling, defeated, yeah, not funny, I know. At least My Dæmon took it easy on me this morning. No walk for him, and shouldn’t I be worried? He hates getting old, the rain, and that I’m not sharing. Okay, for the moment at least. Speaking of walking nowhere, how about all the marches, protests, and riots going on. Running for Amaud, Marches for George Floyd, and we can’t forget about Breonna Taylor. Being Black in America, Lady Luna is something. The thing is I have a hard enough time only being me.

Do you want to take a walk in my shoes? If the Day Job is any indication, I intend not to wear any for plenty of reasons. Again the SHOE department is nowhere I want to be, and neither is Home And Kids. I would say I’m sick of running away and trust me, I am. Yet I want to be like Shaka Zulu, in some ways mind you. I want to stop running towards my bed and start running towards glory. With all this NO FAP going on (16 days, 21 hr, 42 min, 50 sec), I should be playing twenty toes. I’ll even admit to enjoying a bubble bath with a good book. Nowadays, I put my feet up for ten minutes at a time to read Too Late by Colleen Hoover. It seems though I still can’t keep up, even with my time traveling ways, what’s today?

Walk With Me… no Lady Luna, Someone Shoe Me, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 133 ~Will Vet For You~

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There are people out there fighting for my life, some who are protecting my son’s life and I dare to complain that I want all this living that I should be doing to mean something but nobody vetted my soul. “Will Vet For You.”

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Episode 133 ~Will Vet For You~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, I want to say if you can be you that “It’s Possible” to deserve it, to earn it and so much more and you look at yourself today on this Veteran’s Day. You’ve never been to war, you wanted to be a Veterinarian at one point, and now you sell your visions.

Even when you were a child you wanted to be a war correspondent, you knew then that the next battle was upon the horizon and you wanted to see it, never one for blood but lead, ink, a bunch of ones and zeros because you’re no hero. Hell you were a Navy Seaman (recruit) for about two weeks, how they make things look good on paper but they weren’t looking at you, they didn’t want to, nobody thought to vet you which is the point today. I don’t want to call you a loser, somebody not worth anything but today as always we evaluate who you are and what does this say, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 030 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 002 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Failed
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
Failed
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
Failed
6. I Will Write 10,200 Words For My Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”
Failed

You can’t live your life so how can you be expected to save a life, especially knowing how you feel about most humans and for some stupid reason back in school you wished to work for The Humane Society and later become a Vet. Forever be grateful that “B III” is still alive but yes I talked a lot about the Vet that helped him, dispensing pills without any show of heart or compassion but still “Triple B” is okay. Another person that should get vetted but who are you to judge (Refer to #2) and that one point you get for even breathing and what will you do with your life, Six Impossible Things.

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
5. I Will Finish Dancing In The Dark By T.L. Martin (Goodreads)
6. I Will Catch-Up Fully With My New Novel “NaNoWriMo Challenge”

So one group saw what they wanted you to become, another I judged but again I couldn’t do it, and I don’t think you have any plans to go to school for it, so I am asking you to vet yourself and see who you are but of course that hurts too much. If some were to judge your writing, yeah straight to jail but if it’s by the “man” everyone sees, back in school you were considered too weak for a while, juvenile hall you were nobody, at the day job you’re a workhorse. My biggest wish, every week for you is that you’ll be better than I was, you must be but who am I to speak for you, be The Man who fights, who fixes, who finally lives his purpose, who can vet a brand new man, I Will Vet For You.

Lesson 242 ~Learned From The Best~

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I’ve learned you don’t have to make sense, I’ve learned that being a man means I’m usually wrong and strangely enough I needed God to tell me that, by the way, do you think he has a missus? “Learned From The Best,” a world full of women and all.

Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Lesson 242 ~Learned From The Best~

Forgive Me Echo,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, or at least I have forgotten some, though I do wonder if I had more fears then than now, I think it has to be the latter. Haven’t you ever wondered why I call these conversations with you, the other girls and myself lessons; if anything I might as well be keeping a journal as one of the characters in Stephen King’s “It,” and speaking of fears I haven’t forgotten, *sigh* clowns.

Girls are less scary, I don’t remember getting spankings from my mom, grandmas, great grandmas, the worst beatings I remember were all from men but the physical pain has nothing on the mind. I think I told you or maybe I didn’t, who knows, anyway when I was in the fourth or the fifth grade, I smacked a girl on the ass and as far as I know, she liked it, and plenty of people congratulated me, but my father threatened to beat my ass. Is this going to turn into a defense of my father, he cheated on my mom so I think I’m decent there and I have said my mother taught me to be a gentleman at least to a certain degree.

“We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.” ― Tyler Durden, Fight Club (1999)

Don’t get me wrong Inspector Echo, if you want to know who indeed taught me to hate myself I can talk about my father forever, but today during one of my frozen moments of regret and shame, I remembered when I was a little kid and I was at a store. I wasn’t trying to be gross or skeevy (I’ll never forget) I was just trying to find a place to hide and to play, and I ended up seeing this girl, and her mom nearly killed me on the spot. When I was in church, they had this tradition or something of the Tom Thumb Wedding, and everyone was like I should marry this girl Jeanette… it never happened.

You have to forgive me Inspector Echo, I wanted to explain why it was girls that turned me “icky” and I probably will at some point but long story short it was women themselves that warped my perception of women. I’m sorry I’m the one that’s icky now or perverted, depraved, skeevy and all that. Though I’ve never cheated on one, never hit one, besides my sister (childhood), and that I still can’t get over some past misdeeds, but you know, Learned From The Best.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 048 ~Time for A Harvest~

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A time to sow and a time to reap or however the church says it these days; to be a child again and telling everybody what today was, now I earn my daily bread like everyone else. Time for A Harvest, the ultimate payday, a celebration of existence yep

Friday, August 18, 2017

Lesson 048 ~Time for A Harvest~

Hey Lady Lu,
Before I was the caveman I was just a kid, of course, can’t say that this time of year made me any happier but this was pretty much harvest time, in a few weeks anyway. I think I told you before a lady told me I would be a minister one day… if you meant making false promises and taking people’s money, yeah I had a knack for that sort of a thing from time to time.

The good ole days when I use to have a voice, I was just thinking about how I did it before, cute kid bouncing around at church from member to member, that’s how I made my allowance. It wasn’t just the money though, money was nice but the attention, you can’t win them all you know but I would keep trying which means there was something more right? How often I find myself agreeing with the phrase, “ignorance is bliss” because around this time of year there was one fact I simply chose to ignore, good things eventually will end.

You probably know what I’m talking about Lu but I don’t want to tip off anyone that might be happening to eavesdrop but honestly isn’t that what we both want in the end? What was that about false promises because that was me, especially to myself, we talked about this before but what’s my favorite line “I’ll do better next time” more to the point I’ll be better next time, older, wiser, more famous. I owe plenty of people at least from a financial standpoint, to think I once went around thinking a certain amount of money would solve my problem from here to there.

That’s today lesson, my friend, now nobody is calling to collect, my own personal Negan has been silent… okay let me stop there I actually have more respect for Negan and for those who run a protection racket. If anything I really owe myself and you know what happens to those that don’t pay their debts, okay I’m good today.

How do they say Lu, if you loan anything don’t expect to get it back and I mean we all expect it to be returned but we’re just trying to be nice. We can’t all be as heartless as Trump, yeah you should see today’s poem, I swear my inspiration pulled something from my mind that doesn’t have anything to do with you know who… 98% of it anyway but I’m sure that will come back and bite me someday.

Karma always comes back doesn’t it, we give so much away just hoping that little bit that becomes ours isn’t what fate is looking for. I try not to be lazy and was cutting the grass today so Braxton doesn’t come back with a host of creepy crawlers, I give my time to avoid the death glare from the neighbors and what do I get in return but a dog I’m still worried about and more things to do, sweep, wash clothes, another day of procrastination. What I’m trying to say is when do I get mine… I feel so bad saying that because I know exactly when that will be when I actually start giving a damn and work.

Maybe that’s another reason I don’t like this time of year because what has been my accomplishment, I want to go dark so badly right now but I’m trying to maintain a stiff upper lip. When it comes to other people they jump up and down for joy, they take the week, the month off, a celebration of existence, yeah I’m glad that some of them do. For me though it’s just another day, things I’m looking forward to, I requested three days off from work, you and I probably won’t be talking as much, Luna I tell you so much but I can use a break, how about for the most part I won’t be listening to a few dozen people wishing me anything.

Yeah, there are some women down Nevada way that didn’t get the memo, wonder if I can erase such and such off my public forum. We reap what we sow, maybe I should get more to sowing but for this time I the season what is it that I want to reap, why do I have to be that greedy?

Honestly, last year was good and maybe I did have ideas about this year, hell I was going to be a pimp, dare to dream right and even though my true list is still plenty impossible, immoral, and illegal what exactly am I hoping for when “The Day” does come?

I’ve been heavy into Saints Row and Fallout 4, the PS4 is not impossible but something I’ll get for myself, as far as the games though, Saints Row 2, 3, 4, and Gat Out of Hell are within reach for my PS3, also The Walking Dead. I suppose I’ll always be a gamer at heart if I ever find the time for it, instead of living it up on Youtube. Even now I’m forgetting how many games I want like I kid talking to Santa and then I became an atheist but that’s a story for another time I suppose.

Can’t say I am a fan of gift cards but I always keep one on Amazon to stop me from going nuts with the money I am trying to save, what I have on a gift card is what I spend. How about all my fandoms The Walking Dead, Star Wars, The Hunger Games, Divergent, Article 5, Twilight, and the list goes on, I’m still saving up for a custom made lightsaber and a real Lucille, hell I want a weapon’s cache, my own vial of the T-Virus, okay now I’m starting to get giddy.

I remember my mother would fix me steak and baked potato, what about lobster, what about cake, when was the last time I had a cake for my… never mind, how about shrimp from my favorite place or my other favorite place because I’m not driving all the way over there. What about a tattoo, considering all the pain associated with that day, that pain should be nothing, and I already have plenty of quotes to consider, or what about something for Braxton, or Lucille. Last but not least, strippers, chances are I wouldn’t be so lucky to get some submissive but at least watching someone take their clothes off, come on Luna you have to give me a break here but already I have offended the masses, you think, in case I did, going to the movies, or marathon series perhaps, but yeah plans.

So what have I learned today other than, you work for what you get and if I actually could send a Terminator back in time… anyway let me say a happy birthday to “M Anime” and as for my own life I can’t help but wonder Time for A Harvest?