Tag: Journal

Lesson 064 ~What A Wonderful Rut~

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I see empty roads, not a person true, okay excuse me for trying to rewrite a song but it truly was a beautiful world with no people in it, not the usual state of things but it’s our routine to walk in the morning Braxton and I. “What A Wonderful Rut”

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Lesson 064 ~What A Wonderful Rut~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and don’t call it a comeback, or God’s plan the way I live my life, and what some would call a rut I would sing What A Wonderful World. Not all sunshine and lollipops, but they’re not all they’re cracked up to be either and I could all be doing better I suppose, I am by no means satisfied but comfort is doing any favors.

I should probably make a new rule just for that, seems I’ve been getting lazy, you should have seen me yesterday but I am finding my writing voice again to a certain degree, just too bad you haven’t seen much of that here yet. What this is only the third day, I wonder how long the pilgrims stayed on the boat, what about Martin Luther King Jr. might have been comfortable just being a small town preacher. Some yes some people might indeed call it a rut but maybe it’s just “prudent planning” and it’s not like anyone is telling me to remake the world?

I suppose you have to imagine what God’s typical day must have been like for him to go about creating this Sims universe, at first it’s pretty exciting, then you’re Johnny on the spot having to micro manage everything, then you’re letting the world run itself and finally you go all “Mortal Kombat” with your death scenarios or you’re just watching it burn for the Hell of it. Today I imagined paradise as Braxton and I walked along watching a world gone to rapture, just let me keep Braxton and maybe I should get an engineering degree and we would be just fine. No, my dear Lady Luna I want to be a writer but to be fair I never went to school for that either and any real writing I did even left me in the counselor’s office or gave me the juvenile blues, and now I’ve grown up.

Yes, of course, I say that but handling responsibility doesn’t make you a grown up or a man, we do what we have to and repeating the same thing over and over, does that count as practice or downright insanity. Call it what you will with my life or my survival, the fact remains at least I’m still here right?

So what I have learned today, is that in a way I want it that way, with a few tweaks so, What A Wonderful Rut.

 

Lesson 063 ~New World’s Price Tag~

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Porn Star’s good graces $250.00, a new website $80.00, being nice $500.00, my dog’s life, priceless, though that’s not entirely true, keeping him healthy and groomed and I’ve been able to handle everything so far. New World’s Price Tag

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Lesson 063 ~New World’s Price Tag~

Hey Lady Lu
No Fear and nothing we can’t do without but still I can’t help but imagine the possibilities, all the things that you could have done, should be doing and will be at some point. Suppose I still have the ability to surprise myself from time to time, buying into this world or at least it’s people maybe.

“What’s the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team.” They Live (1988)

I’ve never had a problem with the concept of buying a woman, no I haven’t ever been that sort of man, not for lack of trying, I mean all guys pay for it, take Valentine’s Day for example, though that’s not a popular sentiment in any case. I consider myself a simple man to a certain degree like I told “Indiana Gone” if I can live without it, I’ll save my money. I’ve had my fair share of being an idiot though, I spent money on a porn star once for her birthday, I don’t suppose I can defend myself saying that she is the perfect woman, the goddess right?

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” – Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

Anyway for today’s lesson, sometimes I spend money like there is no tomorrow, I mean why not live it up right when I usually believe that the world is going to end in five minutes or less. What about the idea that we spend money on the things, on the people that we care about, and for some reason that does always come back to women for me but I’m not a total schlub? That’s why I’m so surprised, on you Lady Lu I’m still creating a place and you’re fictional along with several other women who will inhabit this world, for another, well maybe a few you can call it madness, and on yet another, a friend needs help and I give it without every be asking, I know Joel Osteen can take a lesson from this I think.

“If a man expects his woman to be an angel in his life, he first must create a heaven for her. Angels don’t live in hell.” – an unknown quote

Maybe that’s what I’m trying to figure out Luna, I mean Braxton is my son and no price is too high, though I fear the day something comes to pass where I won’t have enough to give. He’s probably the one thing on earth that I finance without an ulterior motive but then what was I thinking yesterday with my friend?

Hell, what about this place, what have I learned today, in the end, Luna, the New World’s Price Tag.

Lesson 062 ~Rome in A Day~

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If it took God six days why am I in such a rush, blasphemous, yes perhaps but compared to other crimes I’m accused of or actually did I’m quite comfortable with this one, but not at how my world is looking so far. “Rome in A Day”, so much to be seen.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Lesson 062 ~Rome in A Day~

Hey Lady Lu,
No Fear and don’t be mad at me, disappointed for sure but not mad, maybe frustrated, but as they say, Rome was not built in a day and here I was trying for three hours maybe less but life happens. It could always be so much worse or so I was checking my stats from our former abode, whatever was I worried about but I should be if I’m going to get somewhere, being the boss *sigh*.

Let’s just say that today I got quite the lesson in fiction but I wonder how long it actually took to build Rome, no wonder Romans grew lazy after everything was said and done. As I said things can always be worse and I’m not burning down an empire, for now, I am attempting to build and you would think I have more than enough stones. Dare I call myself a prophet for yesterday, that was me in a rush and I’m still rushing but it’s going to take time.

Everything feels brand new, I mean I’m starting from scratch trying to learn the tricks of the trade and what about my considerable resources? We’re not in any danger and actually, I’m doing a pretty good thing today or maybe I’m just being an idiot; we’ll see, won’t we? I was telling “Indiana Gone” that I cannot be sitting here a year from now without making some serious strides, not even that do I step or do I leap forward?

“There are those who take steps, and those who make the great leap forward.
Those who stay as they are and those who become more than they ever thought possible.
They discover, explore, compete and are fearless.
There are those satisfied by common pursuits.
And those for whom the extraordinary will never be enough.
So ask yourself, will you step or will you leap?” Xbox One – E3 Jump Ahead

Today has been a leap and I’m still trying to calm myself down a bit but rule number three “now the real work begins” and I can’t let up, not even a little bit, not even at all but already I’m so tired. Will I replace fear for laziness, not at all Lady Lu, I swore that I’m going to do this and that is what is going to happen.

I make myself sound so serious don’t I but haven’t I been, even if I’ve been taking things a bit too seriously but that’s what it takes to be a man. I’m going to have to get used to this too, already we don’t have the whole day but of course, the news is, I got a real website now and whatever am I going to do with it now building Rome in A Day…

Family Portrait

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Fortunately, I never truly talk to my family, even better there is only my dog and me, being somebody’s husband… or having kids with two legs instead of four? Family Portrait, but it’s getting sort of crowded in here I think.

Okay so I’m my own secret society
before her, before them, before him
but my dog is my best friend
Cause he doesn’t need an answer or three
as I’m trying to be husband, daddy, what’s the matter
with me and it just makes me sadder
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, my expression
“I’m fine” the words squeak out
Some father, some spouse, more house

Only if I could afford it, show some propriety
Most people count their money
I count at the door, the tiles on the floor, who’s laughing at me
Can I have a moment of peace
When everything is five by five
Working I strive
Decide then I will feel alive, an obsession
maybe I’m normal, human, an ordinary human, my girl
says there is more to this world

Oh if I could only see it, such variety
Still, the ground looks the same
Sad tears, painful, I’m sure they think I’m insane
Clowns can be sad, especially, when they believe
that’s not their true
calling, so who are you
Did I give you the impression
perhaps I cared in the first place.
I need more space

One man and his anxiety
and still, I wonder why I can’t breathe
Counting seats for my O.C.D.
my dog, me and the
disease known as Depression

Now Say Cheese

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