Tag: Lady Sophia

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

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I use my phone for everything but calls, and when it does ring, it’s always bad news and when I have to call… well, I can’t say I’m any different, but there’s still tomorrow isn’t there but if I could call someone? Will Call You Later.

Friday, February 8, 2019

Episode 222 ~Will Call You Later~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, if all of my characters chipped in a dollar; well, probably more than that, and what about my “loves” and I am a little down on myself about losing “it” again thinking of one pretty lady in particular unlike the two in my blog last night.

As always there’s someone to call for stressing me out, whether intentional like my “father” or people that don’t know they’re doing it, like the man that came out to treat for termites. It’s my neighbors that I might have to wave to, and you know that I want children “two-legged ones” someday but that doesn’t mean I have a clue how to deal with them, I almost had a heart attack as B III’s leash got stuck on his collar. As for being trapped, the day job; it’s like being in room 1408 even if you leave, you never do, seven years of my life and that’s the thing, institutionalized maybe, what are my motivations always saying, when you want to “succeed” as much as you want that next breath, well there you go.

So I keep telling my characters that I’ll call them, today, maybe tomorrow, do you ever think that they could be out there and as a writer, a god you stop talking to them and what happens next. What about the Future Wife, Dirty Diana, whatever girl I was writing poetry about at any given time, remember my LSD Tirade with the Winx Club, before they got the black one? The fantasies, wealth, women, and the world will have to wait until I get up off my behind won’t they because in reality when the phone rings I either don’t pick up, dad, or the day job, what about the dumb spammers, one more worry.

Only I don’t worry about that man in the mirror that I’ve been staring at more and more since I caught sight of my teeth, sometimes I even forget I don’t want to answer anybody but especially not him. How about Triple B, when it’s not dark outside, and he’s ready to go out, five more minutes, another hour, one more day… no siblings, no mom, only a dad who’s ears are too filled with motivations, my promises, and monsters. Too many, I can’t hear the call of the man I should be, the woman that wants me, or whatever that force is I pray to, to protect my little boy but every now and again something does get through… maybe Will Call You Later.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

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All it takes to motivate me, sleep, sex, or a speech and that also explains why I’m not writing, and at this rate, I’ll never make it to forty but then what’s my age again… does it matter to the man in the mirror? Forty, William To Will, but not yet.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Episode 215 ~Forty, William To Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, forget who you are; can’t say I have ever seen myself as an actor, I don’t use a pen name, I have nothing but respect for porn stars but “Willie Long Stroke” will probably never see the light of day, and B III is camera shy. We are who we choose to be, but the thing is I feel sort of like a transformer instead of one that should constantly “EVOL” if you spell that backward you get love but anyway it’s like every day I forget who I am to be either worse or what others expect and then you.

I need you to remind me of whoever; leave it to a man to want to know what he looks like through a woman’s eyes… in touch with his feminine side, someone said about Todd Chrisley. Make no mistake Lady Sophia, I would fuck the Hell out of Savannah Chrisley (watch your language) needed to get some manhood points back after this morning finally losing my “No Fap” streak after forty days. All it took was Court Carmody, my MILF pornstar, Savannah Chrisley, Ellen Page, and Sabrina Nichole; can’t say I’m not equal opportunity pervert.

A man can say more with a woman on his arm than anything but god I love writing, and so you ask me Lady Sophia why I’m not doing it more often, why don’t I FOCUS… hell, I need to write a list of words like that. No, I would rather listen, if you asked me did my father ever give me any sage advice then the answer is no, but I spend my days on Spotify getting MOTIVATED by Eric Thomas, Tom Bilyeu, Fearless Motivation. On Youtube I see videos of Greg Plitt, Will Smith; I read Dennis Hof and how I am trying to finish Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, never too old to stop learning, a plethora of dirty things made so dull.

Something I never want to be, BORING, AVERAGE, a TRYER and I’m possibly that much worse Lady Sophia but mostly I’m EXHAUSTED, and as the song goes, It Doesn’t Matter, but here we are having wasted another day. In a little more than five years I will be forty, and if I live that long I can’t only be Will, I refuse, but I see a better man slipping away daily, Forty, William To Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

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The hero of your story, a motivation of mine mentions that but when’s the last time I wrote anything of value, and though I’m not reading such and such, some words that can’t be forgotten the man I was. “Willing Of The Story”

Friday, January 25, 2019

Episode 208 ~Willing Of The Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, now that’s a story I plan on hearing one of these days, how about writing, hell I want a movie deal, I even wrote a bit of a synopsis years ago, not for the money but more ghost in the machine, a twist on Love Machine. Not exactly an original tale, computers in love with girls or guys in love with computers, can’t say I even like the one in my head now… my brain, this morning I was reminded of the story that brought me back to my writing sadly.

Honestly, I don’t care to relive that tale, but ideas hit like that sometime; I’m sure I told you that books are potent weapons and what are we writers… arms dealers that fill up armories known as libraries. Authoritarian regimes that seek to rewrite the world in our image, that wish to rule so many souls, even if it is only the one within us, to burn the world to cinders and yet have a history of it. Almighty gods, all-powerful beings become both prince and pauper, at the end of ballpoint pens, chutes of paper, and the dick (Language yes I know) what inspires my wanton whims these days.

Villain am I none, or so I would like to believe, I didn’t fuck up at work (stop swearing), I didn’t waste another day away… a tossup between the MILF, “reading” Lolita, and watching Far Cry 5, and seeing the world descend into the Land Of Confusion. Will, the force of, the power of, iron and hell it’s not even my complete name, yeah I don’t feel so good, one of my olds is coming over and let me say that I have a case of the willies that I can’t shake for anything. XXX films aren’t helping but who says they can’t write a decent story, take erotica for example; what inspires a man to enslave the ideology, identities, and insanity of the world only to become a slave, senseless, sanity ridden, so and so in mere seconds truthfully?

That isn’t to say writers can’t be heroes, only can you call yourself that when you’re attempting to save yourself, yeah plenty of books help people, I had a self-help phase once upon a time, long forgotten unless you count my studies of Solanum. One more reason I’m a writer maybe, better to be on the cover than anywhere else because a long time ago ha I was a villain Sophia, Willing Of The Story.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 201 ~Your Will Is King~

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I have dreamed a dream, and most I can’t remember, but it’s the ones that stick with me that I have to worry about, especially since I wasn’t reading this morning but writing this in my head and how they say, so let it be written… “Your Will Is King”

Friday, January 18, 2019

Episode 201 ~Your Will Is King~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, or how about staying in the black, because I wasn’t yesterday going over budget, I don’t regularly read black writers though I can say I didn’t read period when it comes to this morning, and usually my dreams are snow white. Hell, the last story I wrote with African American women… Some Assembly Required maybe, and two characters are archetypes of Alicia Keys and Zoë Kravitz, now that’s bound to tick somebody off am I right?

Now I’m nowhere near Martin Luther King Jr and already how dare I blame his birthday, my fascination with True Teen Babes or my “gift” of prophecy but I Have A Dream or had last night, and per usual, this is one of those I deem worthy of merit and fear. It was about this girl at the day job, and honestly, pickings are slim but this one girl who reminded me of Amandla Stenberg and “Rainbow” and honestly I found her so beautiful but in my dream while she was an object of lust she was also taboo. I never know what my “important” dreams mean until after the trouble, stay away from her, other black women have stirred up trouble these days, maybe my darker interests will be exposed sooner or later shudders

Not like I haven’t written about a variety of white women and as far as most black people hell Lady Sophia I might give Steve King a run for his money and maybe that’s it, my dream might be asking me am I willing to stand for my words. At this point, I have nothing to lose, or it could be telling me I’m overlooking potential, and I have learned my lesson about doing anything in the workplace, again this week I’ve lost sleep, music, friendships; be myself… I shouldn’t.

I’m a fucking horror show (Language) like Stephen King, but it felt so good Lady Sophia, long story short; I was at my grand mommy’s house, (father’s side is my grandma, mother’s side my grandmommy) anyway this was the last time I remember actively chasing little black girls. So day job girl is dancing in pajamas in the guest room, and next thing I know we’re dancing together and fall to the bed and I’m scared to move but she touches my cheek, and I touch hers and let’s say we’re moving into Dirty Diana territory but more romantic. Maybe I think I’m better than her which would be a terrible thought, but don’t I believe deep down I’m higher than most African Americans? Again horrible, and I can’t merely accept this was a dream about a pretty girl I would sleep with but my dreams Lady Sophia, I should tell the man in the mirror, Your Will Is King.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

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What’s today’s story, I’ll let you know when I’m back holding the pen, B III needs me to go and get his papers, I got to talk to a girl about some mean green, and I’m sure somebody out there needs me for a joke. “Will Asks A Director,” or becomes one

Friday, January 4, 2019

Episode 187 ~Will Asks A Director~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, ask Skye Warren, Celia Aaron, Pepper Winters, Pam Godwin, should I ask S. Wolf or Todd Michaels, and I know what you’re thinking, yes I know way more authors than directors. Hell, last night I told myself the whole story of The Postman (1997), instead of sleeping in my bed, I slept on the loveseat and dreamed I was Star-Lord flying through the sky about to fight Thanos a.k.a. B III on account of him being sick, the heating vent, and Honest Trailers, how that wasn’t in my plans at all.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen

If I have learned anything from this week and as always this is a repeated lesson, I’m a dominant; I like being in control, my directorial debut “Cumming For You” (no I won’t call LANGUAGE on the title) was a resounding success; I always wanted to direct a porno. I can be a producer of course when the need arises, the day job, a pretty girl is coming over (asks Indiana Gone or Okay) and let’s hear it for my ill Triple B, now that’s not good, but my Motivations always talk about having a reason, a drive, your purpose. Social Anxiety, of course, makes you think the camera, the spotlight, the live studio audience is always on you and that’s one more reason to stay under the covers, to play the ghost, why so many others prefer playing dead.

The concept brings me back to the hot MILF and my new actress, am I becoming a fanboy, that was before I even saw her naked but what I’m getting at is, that energy, the moment she cums, the improvisation, motivation, life. Even in my novels, it’s not that I’m writing, I believe whatever I want, I make plans and then the characters, they take over and the beauty of that moment, do you watch, or do you join the fun? Do you think God is up there, wishing for some good shut-eye, but he’s busy stroking or fingering, maybe sees us as sick and has to stay up all night, perhaps we’re only the strangest dream; still an atheist.

Today however I’m cast and crew, I’ll probably have a conversation with my actress, and Triple B is busy writing his new screenplay though I think it’s shit (LANGUAGE) yeah going to buy more doggy pads and that means I’m going to be on screen. Everyday Lady Sophia I “try” an answer the question, why am I a writer and here’s one “Like Me When I’m Not Me” so does that mean I want to be a character or stay behind; Will Asks A Director.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

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Well aren’t I running late today with everything, bills, conversation, and I’m sure there is a NO someplace, but that would require asking the question and don’t I think I know everything hmm? Sick Of Know Will

Friday, December 28, 2018

Episode 180 ~Sick Of Know Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, have the guts to go after something harder than that; ahem, my Motivations, one says it’s never about the prize but the pride, for example, I can buy a NaNoWriMo winner’s shirt, but I believe one must earn it. Believe, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I could, should, and would write fifty thousand words, even more than that it was fact Lady Sophia, before the first word, there was my goal point blank.

Another Motivation, Hero Of Your Own Story and you’ve heard this a million times over, I wake up because I have to, I’m always grateful for B III’s safety and health, I don’t look in the mirror and I’m starting to think, maybe it’s because I KNOW who I am. Makes me a hypocrite saying I’m lost all the time or wandering at least, yes one foot in front of another today, tomorrow, every day zombified. When somebody new sees me well; to write you bleed, you spit venom, you breathe fire, and so you live, writing is living Lady Sophia, cage, institution, torture chamber, hell a concentration camp, a hospital, a library is a hospital for the HUMAN mind.

So how do I get discharged hmm… of course I talk to you but honestly what does this make me; well on top of everything else I’m tired, work, errands, I am keeping up with Christmas Cake: A Holiday Collection by Celia Aaron but that doesn’t count as work. I have such plans for tomorrow, promises but will I keep any of them, will I write them down, you know I do that every Sunday and again I know I won’t keep them, isn’t that precisely the type of man I am now? Speaking of man, you know what I have wanted to write all day, I asked “Okay,” “Indiana Gone,” and “M Anime” and they all agree but I have yet to make that move because I have no problem saying I’m afraid, twenty seconds of insane fucking courage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmMFIganRQY

I’m sick of knowing the answers to everything, that you don’t understand me one bit, that I’m looking at an F come Sunday and of losing more friends and light when she says NO. You get discharged by accepting the fact and doing it anyway because that my dear Lady Sophia is what living is, courage is not the absence of fear, it’s the knowledge that yeah you’re going to die, but for a second, twenty, you’re alive, and I’m not Sick Of Know Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

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Top ten actresses, best places to build a brothel, and could Santa carry a billion dollars in his bag, I’m sure I could think of a few ways, but no I instead count other “things” or not, *sigh* so many sheep. Purposeful Listlessness Of Will

Friday, December 21, 2018

Episode 173 ~Purposeful Listlessness Of Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be too lazy to make an actual list of the things you want; my Motivations talk about writing down everything from your wishes, to whys, to The Way, and I mean your life’s purpose. I remember when Cherry talked about my Pinterest boards, my “Spank Bank” I was able to tell her so handily what I wanted to do with my life; I want to write books, have a bordello and a billion dollars… not good.

Probably because it would end up as Exhibit A in some court case am I right, but wanting to rule the world and be a politician, can be two different things but learning from America, being a Republican gets you paid and thus all sorts of control. Is there ever such a thing especially considering today, if I made a list of everything that has threatened that command… more Dirty Diana’s wheelhouse but Anna Blossom (Pornhub), Two Milfs (sigh), Haley Pullos, to mention a few. I can only imagine if this was Divergent and here I am attempting to be Dauntless, do you know how many fears I would have to name and maybe that’s the rub… Motivations say that everything you want lies on the other side of FEAR, the cooler side of the pillow but dreams and nightmares:

Honestly, besides a massive case of blue balls, my definition of Hell would be writing down a list of the women I can’t have, in other words, Erotica and with everything I should be doing today, I didn’t even list my short story as a goal. My dear Lady Sophia, today’s lists have included, organizing the rugs at the day job (with my OCD), keeping track of all the presents I bought “Ho, Ho, Ho” (Language Please) and plotting the moments that will lead to my untimely destruction come Christmas Day (Indiana Gone will not be pleased with that assessment).

I look into every outcome of how I can be embarrassed, humiliated, or dead, which is one of the reasons I sleep so much, ask me what I want and I would say everything, the women I desire again I’m screwed or not, so yes I’m lazy. Aren’t I also impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane as always and I prefer Santa keep his cheeks rosy for other reasons, of course, if he were a man like me… he only works one day a year but for me, on the other hand, Purposeful Listlessness Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 166 ~Wills I Never Read~

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I haven’t taken time to read lately, maybe because the truth absorbs me rather than fiction, let’s be real most words nowadays… hell, I’m creative, and others are liars and my look what time it is. “Wills I Never Read” but met hmm

Friday, December 14, 2018

Episode 166 ~Wills I Never Read~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars is something I never read about, seriously My Lady if you want to know where such a wish came from, there was a song “If I Had A $1,000,000” one of my Motivations “What If” and today it was the time on my schedule, but wait.

I never read the receipts when I was a child, I honestly don’t remember reading about Santa Claus but both I can put on my parents; a blessing or a curse but I should be grateful, I AM, yes I AM. Until there was Sticker Shock and if I knew then Lady Sophia how much it costs to live… hell, I never read those boxes of sleeping pills or NyQuil, I never understood the fine print of The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, been there before.

Speaking of things that will get me into Hell, there wasn’t a time in school that I read about sex, I only saw a few graphic pictures, I heard words like Rape, Sin, No Means No, the thoughts in my head echoed, pervert, stalker, criminal, evil, still do sometimes. It was when I started reading when I began educating myself honestly on BDSM, SSC, RACK, Ravishment; when I learned about Hentai, Erotica, my company Second Circle Creations, when I decided to take back my name, which I still hate looking at from time to time.

Damn the numbers though, more like fuck the numbers (Captain America says “Language”) today is Friday, not Thursday and that’s part of the reason I’m irritated, irate, irrational, damn near having an anxiety attack at 6:00 in the morning. I promised myself I would get up at 4:00 “Waking Up at 4:00 AM Every Day Will Change Your Life” and at 1:00 this afternoon I have to call into the day job and if it’s not good news at 3:00 bring on the panic attack.

You see Lady Sophia these are the men I never read about, but they all exist; I complained to a math tutor that if only math was like reading and I can’t read IBC Root Beer labels without thinking about lying to my “father” about my math homework and getting smacked. I can’t read my son’s face but “B III” tells me it’s time to get up for Walkies, I can’t read the sun in the sky, and nowhere is it written to learn why I get up at all… LOVE, for him, for myself, for some girl I’m not sure may live. I’ll never read about when I may gain a pardon from the mortal coil, my bank account will never speak of freedom, my soul shall never write about happiness, but someday he’ll be here; only one more of
Wills I Never Read.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 159 ~When’s Your Holiday Will~

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If I could take back everything I’ve said to women, that includes my first cry because I’ve been offending them ever since, how about when Santa lost his way here, and if I ever wake up rested and happy, shocker? “When’s Your Holiday Will?”

Friday, December 7, 2018

Episode 159 ~When’s Your Holiday Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t live in infamy, it doesn’t help you win wars, (Japan), money and women are questionable (Marquis de Sade), and even if you’re proven right, “what’s next” is far stranger than “The End” right (Joseph Seed)? So am I saying become President, what was that about infamy, how about becoming a pornstar, working for FOX News, or even *gasp* a writer, you can always make money off some holiday spirit right?

Infamy, a day that will live as such, how many of the brave died this day so many years ago; I know you’re asking why do I even bring up something like Pearl Harbor, it’s not like I’m doing anyone a service but one more reason I’m a writer, I don’t want to forget. I’m not a great man, a good one, hell sometimes I judge if I’m even alright, especially when it comes to writing but for this moment in time, hell anytime I find myself sitting here, talking to you, any of the girls, the man in the mirror, writing a novel or poem I’m free. Isn’t that worth celebrating, every day I make a choice but here’s the thing and I’ve said this before, things we don’t learn from history we’re doomed to repeat; is that why I’m always writing about the end, something like Kylo Ren:

“The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi… let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” The Last Jedi

You know I don’t celebrate holidays… my “birthday” in itself made me someone I didn’t want to be; alive, talk about a day I would erase, and then there are the days I can’t, the 5th of November, July 2nd, whenever the Harmonic War began. Seems almost tradition that the worse days of my life always revolve around a girl, even now my work schedule is done by one, I have several women who text me (not that I’m mad about that). I can’t remember when I did my first novel which wasn’t for NaNoWriMo; when’s the last time I got a full night’s sleep, and again with the women when was my last one or first one, long time.

When you can’t remember the day you lost happiness, would you recognize it, hell I remember the last time I had ah, a “release” and every day I resist is a victory not that I can celebrate this week, already failed #1. Even talking to Dear Future Wife my thoughts focus more on the present than the future but you want to know when I’ll party; September 1st when I have my first million, and hopefully I won’t be lying here on December 7th asking again, When’s Your Holiday Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 152 ~Certified Wrimo, Winner, Will~

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NaNoWriMo ends today but I won yesterday so yay me I suppose but what do I do tonight, get to bed early and cherish the knowledge I don’t have the day job in the morning… funny. Certified Wrimo, Winner, Will, and more, not to brag

Friday, November 30, 2018

Episode 152 ~Certified Wrimo, Winner, Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well publishing a book might help but I don’t know if “Indiana Gone’s” faith is strong enough and I know for sure that mine isn’t counting this is my second November NaNoWriMo and I did two camps this year. As it has been with every novel that I have set to paper I am left with the same question, a somewhat sane one and that is, what do I do now; tonight, I’m feeling pretty lazy.

Nothing to do but talk to you and you ask me do I feel reluctant, resistant, or even ready and as much as I love writing… I must right, I must write, how does one prepare themselves to bare their soul, to say bleed, to purge? I’m not one to throw my soul into the ether; I’m not a woman (yeah that’s sexist right), I’m not a psycho, police office, private, or president, too much media nowadays am I right. What I am with every day is exhausted sadly; which is more damaging Lady Sophia, doing what you hate or doing what you love barley because you don’t have anything left, with my Motivations “Purpose.”

This isn’t over Lady Sophia, even now the ideas continue to flow, “B III” is going to be the business partner in my novel and also a WEREWOLF for example, I think the four parts split will be between the classes of “Escorts” The Songstress Class, The Dead Heads, and The Elysium Class. I will also have dog sayings such as “And They Call It Puppy Love,” “Dog Eat Dog,” “Raining Cats And Dogs” And “Every Dog Has It’s Day” when did a story about a brothel become about my four-legged son, I’d never abandon him for any woman no doubt. The entire third act will be about the past which means the whole tale will be getting bigger, ha tail, heart disease and in the words of Warm Bodies:

Maybe that’s it; while I can tell you everything that I want, once I get everything written it doesn’t even matter, my confession, my confections, and like “Cherry,” I hate making “corrections” or editing, but I also understand the purpose of it. It won’t be tonight, probably not tomorrow, I’m going to waste so much time but for now, can I not bask in the thought that I am now a Certified Wrimo, Winner, Will.

I Will Have No Fear