Tag: Love

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

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I have no clue what I would want once I found love, well to protect that love, of course, but once I have Jeff Bezos’s bank account and a woman to share it with, and 5.5 kids would I be HAPPY? A Happy New Will, can’t I just be happy now, a long story

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Gospel 181 ~A Happy New Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but that doesn’t make me a great man or a good one. Most days, I would settle for alright. Remind me, when I’m done with “Into The Badlands” to watch “Firefly” again if you got that reference. Today though, I’ve been thinking about “Equilibrium.” I mean, I hate fireworks, the Dæmon and I both. I don’t drink much; ask my BFF about that. Staying up till midnight is usual for me, so no coffee required, eww.

Complaining and lies are habits I should leave in 2020, right? There are fireworks between the two of us, ha-ha. When we take the kids, minus the Dæmon, to see them at Disney World (ahem) Tradition!!! That will be one of those times I’ll have to be just Dad, hmm? Maybe the two of us can dance beneath the sky to a little “Drunk On You,” which is all I’ll ever be. I think it’s rather strange that I want to be a stand-up guy, a superhero. Yeah, and a million other things, and yet I get weak in the knees, butterflies with you even now. Staying awake is no longer a problem when I’m living my dreams, you know. I also don’t intend on sleeping even after midnight, if you know what I’m saying. Yes, the kids are still around, so keeping it clean.

Anyway, you know how I am with being HAPPY, forever, and always. I’m glad, I’m satisfied, hell I even talked about being good. Geez, many years ago, it was always another day. One more year, one more day didn’t make a difference “Endure and Survive.” However, here we are at “The Closing of The Year.” Should I cool it with the music and movie musings? You tell me I better not, right? So how will I be a better man than the one that I am at the moment? I’m the man that is currently planning my first book of the new year. What will be my first song? Of course, there are some things I want to remain. Kissing You, not that I keep track, but there’s always room for one more kiss. A night in your arms. We’re counting how many kids already?

Looks like I’m entering the new year as confusing as ever, but happy is different. Happy is good, happy works okay, A Happy New Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

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I’m sensing a pattern when it comes to my body these rules. Today is more like what I allow into my mind, heart, and soul. I do plenty to protect my eyes, and I always have my earphones in, and why is that. “Don’t Be Fated To Lies,” I can’t hear you.

Monday, December 28, 2020

Gospel 180 ~Don’t Be Fated To Lies~

Hundred And Sixty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not a lie. In a way, I look at it as having less than $20.00 in the bank. The money is there, only I can’t access it yet. I could tell you what’s in my closet right now. Let’s say that I’m missing a few essential parts; that’s all, ha. However, I have never been one for the philosophy of AHEM, “Fake it till you make it.” On the other side of the coin, why believe that I’m doomed when it comes to going to work? Worse is walking around like Faith Seed. “I know you’ve heard stories about me.”

As always (sigh), I want to apologize for being so down, but that’s the thing. The new year is almost here, and for right now, there’s no story to tell. Now I could say that’s because of time-travel. It’s still the 27th… this week will be hard. My parents didn’t tell stories. To be fair, I would choose nothingness over the things they say at the Day Job. Say it with me, Madam Justice “Humiliations Galore.” How many fights have I had with one of my managers “silently.” Will didn’t say that. Now he wishes you would shut the fuck-up. My little Dæmon sits here without a word, yet I know I could be a better dad. So what I carry him downstairs. I pay for his heart medication, and he convinced me to give him hot dogs along with treats. He sleeps in my bed nightly. Yeah, I’m a pretty crappy father, aren’t I?

I won’t lie to you, Madam Justice. “Lies of Omission?” Okay, yes, but the things that make me feel Muy Bueno, like a million bucks or even blissful. Remind me to shop Amazon for a new outfit. Anyway, those things people say are BAD. Those people, I believe, are liars. At least that’s what I want to speak. With my OLDS, I want to say that I do exist. They would fire back, “yeah, your name is on these bills.” I sound like an ungrateful bastard, don’t I? Pardon my French this afternoon. More importantly, pardon their lies about me. I should now have this conversation with the man in the mirror. His lies are the hardest because he goes out and listens to everyone. The Devil Is A Lie. Don’t Be Fated To Lies.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 174 ~Oh, Christmas Tree Will…~

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Another long nap, but you try listening to Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You all day and not want to switch off for a few hours. Although if it made the family, I want someday happy… Oh, Christmas Tree Will…

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Gospel 174 ~Oh, Christmas Tree Will…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so yeah, I’m somewhat of a thief. Well, considering all the decorations on this house, how much do I give back? Yes, it’s almost Christmas, but it will take a little while longer to find the spirit of the holiday, I suppose. But I will, promise. You don’t know how many years it’s been. There were times, there wasn’t a tree to be seen in the house. A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Story, A Diva’s Christmas Carol. Some others were Christmas favorites. Still, I would be busy watching YouTube again.

I still enjoy reading Christmas stories. Some, of course, aren’t child friendly, not even to our dæmons. It’s a tradition I do want to keep alive with us, lying in bed with you. That’s after we invite the kids to watch Santa make his way with the online map, Tradition! Is hot chocolate a Christmas drink? I don’t know, but there is an art to it. Milk, the GOOD Chocolate mix, marshmallows, whip cream, the works. No chocolate chip candles. God bless my mom, but I don’t want the kids getting mad at grandma as I did as a kid. Maybe we’ll be invited to Christmas brunch. My Olds quit asking me when I wouldn’t leave my dæmon behind. Hell, there was a time I had to leave him for hours on end but never again with my new job.

A job that means I’ll have to learn how to trim a tree again. Multiple Trees if I have my way, and I’ll even leave my Gomez Addams persona at the door. “The scent of pine,” ha. I’ll have to learn some holiday movie quotes, but the kids want the tree first; I can’t wait. I want our power bills to be outrageous because of all the lights on the house. Driving to look at people’s decorations. Getting gas should be “truly, truly, truly outrageous.” If you get that refrence, um, I love you even more now. Of course, that’s pretty easy, ain’t it, yep. Speaking of music and a show, I haven’t decided on the “religious” aspect while I’m all for Santa. Presents were something to keep me in church, the same with Easter. I don’t think we should care, but you know how people are high holy days.

I can forget about that but, Oh, Christmas Tree Will…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 173 ~No Names For Potential Food~

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Last week, it’s what I was keeping in my body, and this week it’s about what I won’t put in. No, I’m not talking about the “vaccine” like I could get a hold of it, and would I want to? More like why I don’t name farm life. No Names For Potential Food

Monday, December 21, 2020

Gospel 173 ~No Names For Potential Food~

Hundred And Sixty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I would do what I can to save animals. Now you should know I’m no vegan or even vegetarian. At the same time, I can’t stand hunters. That is unless we’re talking about “The Most Dangerous Game.” Is that sad? How can I talk about hunting people in the process of killing them? Anyway, that’s an interesting story for another time. Today I want to talk about how I won’t say no to a chicken sandwich. I should have got some bacon yesterday. And how I won’t eat my dog.

Wow, that got sort of dark fast. So when I came up with this rule, I was thinking about the animals. I’ve never had any inclinations of owning a farm though I know Indiana Gone wants to. I see cows and chickens, and I want a sandwich. Clydesdales… yeah, beer. Can’t say I’m a drinker, though. Budweiser was smart to put something cute in its ads. Same with Coca-Cola. Who can forget all those Sarah McLachlan ads? This month has been about Christmas, but the novel “Where The Red Fern Grows” oh God chokes up. My Dæmon, though, sold me on life itself. Why don’t I ever mention his name and I’m sure I have back in the beginning. He’s kept me alive, and even if I was starving… People say it’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine. Always with my firstborn son.

Women are people Will, women are people. Now I know that, of course. I’m also trying so hard to keep my “promise” of how I talk to you and the rest of the girls… sorry, Dirty Diana. My point is, Madam Justice, I can’t be typical with the Beautiful Stranger. Women have lives, and maybe that’s why I fight my addiction the way that I do. The body can be full, but the heart, soul, and mind are empty. It’s sort of the same as writing. You prepare a feast, and then you’re left wanting, and worse, nobody eats anything. Interesting epiphany, yeah? I should wake up early more often. So I start giving names and faces to feel something, anything. And then I either starve myself or bite and leave myself still so unsatisfied.

Maybe I’m hungry, more BBQ? What’s in me or others? No Names For Potential Food.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 167 ~It Will Be Christmas~

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I took a nap today, “dang” it, but I didn’t dream of Christmas. It was more The Walking Dead: World Beyond, and I don’t remember Christmas Time in any zombie movie… Maybe I Am Legend; it was almost Christmas. It Will Be Christmas, so I want Hallmark

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Gospel 167 ~It Will Be Christmas~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I should be able to buy Santa’s Workshop. I’m not trying to be all Jeff Bezos EVIL. Yet here I am. Baby girl, I’m saying that I hate CHRISTMAS. If it’s any consolation, you know that I hate most holidays, even when I can afford them. How’s that for the Christmas spirit? It’s less about Christ and more about Capitalism, or so I was taught. I’m sorry, it’s been a hard day. The idea of a “Biblical Purge,” sigh. Um, I’ve never been one for fake smiles… I love masks. But our holiday will be a freaking Hallmark movie, promise.

I own a piece of them, too, by the way. For everything I do, am I still trying to buy my way into Heaven. My love “without you they’re never gonna let me in” as Nickleback sang. Why yes, I had to bring out a song, and we will have plenty of Christmas playlist tuneage. I’m sure you still haven’t met my “father,” but I will have to ask him how he made those gallon jug lights as Christmas. I want to decorate, and we’ll have the most gigantic tree. I definitely wish for wrapped presents. I suck doing those, but I’m my mother’s son. Speaking of my mother, while she didn’t wrap gifts ever, she could cook up a storm. Creepy thought, but they say guys go for girls that can remind them of dear ole Mom. So you can cook and sing, of course. Sunday brunch, yes, please.

I want tons of pictures. It might explain the business I’m in some. I don’t have one photo of my “family.” So wanting photographs of the family that we have. It’s not a dream, I know, but I want those memories. Those smiling faces, happiness, friendship, of being, sigh loved. Where I once worked, we sold pajama sets for families. It sounds goofy but seeing all of us matching, including our furry dæmon or our dæmons, everyone hugging. Yeah, I won’t say the holidays I once had were all wrong. I’m never going to be a Christian man. There’s tons of debate about AMERICA. Hell, I never had the Christmas I envisioned, yet I still call myself a traditionalist. I once believed in Santa. I wasn’t always the Grinch or a Scrooge, sweet baby doll.

Christmas is about family, so yes, It Will Be Christmas.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 166 ~No Drops, Tears, Blood, Otherwise~

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I’m not a big drinker, but that goes for alcohol, and I don’t know, um, water. I’ve had two sodas, and it’s ink, not coffee, that’s keeping me awake. Digital ink like virtual blood because this body is tapped out. “No Drops, Tears, Blood, Otherwise.”

Monday, December 14, 2020

Gospel 166 ~No Drops, Tears, Blood, Otherwise~

Hundred And Sixty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and truth be told, you know what I was thinking about with this rule. So I’m trying to keep my hands busy with lunch and wiping the “sleep” from my eyes. I could be in bed sweating away unconscious, but I’m trying. Somehow I even woke up early this morning to have a bit of joy. At the very least, I’m feeling glad that I got my reading out of the way. But what I mean is, books are intended to soothe? Baby, It’s Cold Outside, as the song goes. The sound of rain helps me sleep.

These days I’m more into virtual blood, either from the dead or cult. Today I got back into my motivations, and Eric Thomas talked about routine. One more reason I should hurry on along. At 5:00 PM, I got zombies. Oh, and at 6:00 PM, there’s Project at Eden’s Gate. Spitting into the wind and daring to call it progress. Doesn’t make me different than anyone else that has decided to spit on me. At least with masks, it makes it so much harder to do. Haven’t I mentioned before how much I’m loving masks?

I shouldn’t say things like that. Considering how many people are crying over Coronavirus (COVID-19). I’m trying to keep a lot to myself these days or again just spitting out whatever’s been said in years past. Such damning overwhelming secrets. Interesting, but what about tears of joy or finding something funny. Again one more reason I should be sleeping right now to give the world a chance to amuse me. Good luck with that, right? More like I don’t want to give this world one more damn thing for sure.

Makes me think about All Out War from The Walking Dead. Bullets and blood and have you taken a good look at the world lately. Game Of Thrones, Fire, and Blood, but I am trying so hard to stay on the right side of things. Well left… the Electoral College. Surprisingly there are a plethora of bodily fluids, and that might be a bit TMI. Hell, if anything, you know that I’m Toxic, which isn’t right. Poison, Venom, I Heard It Through The Grapevine. For the love of everything, stop me from spilling and overflowing.

Ink should be the only thing that matters to me. No Drops, Tears, Blood, Otherwise.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 160 ~Through Your Eyes Will~

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It’s nearly 3 AM, and I can barely keep my eyes open, so it looks like I’ll be wasting tomorrow well today. If only I had someone to waste it with that didn’t have four legs. “Through Your Eyes Will,” I have four eyes, so I’m complaining because

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Gospel 160 ~Through Your Eyes Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still haven’t seen it all. Don’t get it twisted; I’ve looked at every dime of my money or ours, I should say, right? I’m all for 50-50, the 80-20 concept, and 20-20 vision, though after this year. So much to say with foggy glasses. People say that love is blind. Others say it was love at first sight. As for me… when I close my eyes, at least it isn’t the tune of an old white man. You knew I had to break out with Kylie Minogue’s Love at First Sight and Janet Jackson’s That’s The Way Love Goes.

I have always been one for tradition. My love, I am one for the fairy tale. Now no one teaches you to fall in love. As “silly” as it sounds, I always figured one day I would see “Her,” and that would be the end. First time I ever felt that… high school, senior year. Well, you can say that’s when I found my type. Are you that, are you the dream that I imagined. To be honest, you know my musical taste, so I can be open to a lot. On that note, how about another song, I Only Have Eyes for You. Then you ask how was work… However, I find Abby Knox’s book a lot more fascinating and how Bear’s character is. That’s exactly how I fell in love, minus the snowstorm. While I’m loving the masks, if I’m cold, the only place I’ll be looking is to a roaring fire and my warm bed… well, ours.

Only that’s not the reason I’m so late tonight or this morning. I have three words for you, Quest For Camelot. Garrett was blind, and he fell in love with Kayley. He’s another man I can relate to, seeing how he was a hermit until he met her. And Here I Am with you. Yeah, you knew the white men would creep in from Bryan Adams to Vasily Zaytsev and Evan and Jaron (Crazy for This Girl). You would think with all this music, I would be more for my ears than eyes. I’m no one for religion, but I swear I’ve heard God in song. Colorado All-State Treble Choir (Down in the River to Pray). Still, I don’t expect to see him or her anytime soon, for, um reasons…

Baby Doll, you’re like a book. That’s high praise, you know I want to get a tattoo of my dæmon’s name I can read every day. I write books and poetry for a living, amongst other things. So I want to read you Always and Forever. Now I have nothing against Audible these days but actually seeing every line, every curve. I have to see. Still, the two of us here in the dark together. When it comes to you, love, allow me… I want to know what love is; I want you to show me. Through Your Eyes Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 159 ~Everything, Everyone Has A Price~

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As the song goes, AHEM, if you pay the right price, your evening will be nice, and you can go or send me on my way. Not exactly the career for me but for others, well, I’ll just leave it there. “Everything, Everyone Has A Price,” and I’m pretty cheap

Monday, December 7, 2020

Gospel 159 ~Everything, Everyone Has A Price~

Hundred And Sixty-Five Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but is that enough? Every other day I tell you and the other girls that I’m adopting Republican policies. I guess I’m getting the failures out of the way, if anything. If you don’t believe me, you should have watched my gaming. Do I need to talk about Far Cry 5 right now? Well, it’s how I get to bed and seeing as how I’ll be exhausted in the morning regardless… So you get $1,000 (in-game) for taking outpost undetected. I failed to do that, so he who fights and runs away?

Anyway, I believe that everyone has a price, in my opinion. It doesn’t have to be monetary per se. Find what a person wants and what they are willing to do to get it. Tonight I have been wracking my brain to figure out mine. Madam Justice, SIGH, I’m NOTHING. Disturbing, isn’t it. Let’s start with something small, like my Dæmon. I’ve had offers from $500 to $900 for him. I’m not a bad parent, I suppose. That’s not the point, regardless. If anything, I’m destroying my argument entirely because I swear my CHILD’S priceless. Okay, so how about how I want to spend my life. You understand I can’t say if I want to stay on the up and up for some reason. However, I have respect, and at the same time, how much money have I spent, you think, over the years?

You’re not Inspector Echo, but I have a confession to make. I guess from reading all those Christian books years ago. Only what I was reading before Christmastime? I once thought about selling my soul to the Devil. Hell, if you could guarantee everything I desire… You’re asking what stopped me? Well, I have to disagree with Spotify as I am not a “Sucker For Pain,” at least not mine. Someone said we have “blood to spare,” and that’s another thing. How much blood have I shed at the Day Job? How much having a shave? So again, how much am I worth? When I go in, what am I working for, around ten bucks an hour? I spent a month on NaNoWriMo, excuse me, four years, and have I published a single book? What do I want for my life?

Again with Spotify AHEM Love and Happiness… for this man? Everything, Everyone Has A Price.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 153 ~Will Love Every Day~

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Smile every day, laugh every day, and if you ever hear me say eat, pray, love or talk about reading that book, punch me in the face. The only thing I wanted to love today was my bed, but I have my Dæmon, and I have to keep living. Will Love Every Day

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Gospel 153 ~Will Love Every Day~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even if I wasn’t AHEM, “I will still love you.” That’s the only thing that will never change. To be honest, I spent most of today thinking it was Monday. It’s the first day since the end of NaNoWriMo, and I figured we should do something special. Instead, I’ve been adulting and “celebrating…” Uh yeah.

Yeah, is that what I call it buying another NaNoWriMo T-Shirt? So it turns out they were right. I have shirts from 2019, 2018, 2017. 2020 means four victories. How long have we’ve been married, My Love? A loaded question.

As I said, I’ve been handling business. I set up an appointment for my Dæmon at the groomers. Talk about my priorities as a father and a husband, hell as a creator. I owe him an apology as I look at his nails and his mouth. Did I ever tell you I love wearing masks? I remember saying that I love my work creating, and I don’t mean the old Day Job. God knows I’m glad that NaNoWriMo is over, meaning I might get a decent night’s sleep. It’s still early evening. Last month I gave everything I am to my novel and barely made it through. But like that song Muzik by Knoc-Turn’al, my work, my world, my wifey. Some men so much better than I talk about what a man needs, food, sex, and silence. How about sports, music, food, and ladies. If you can name the two black men who said it…

I’m still listening to a few old white men SIGH R.I.P. Sean Connery. Anyway, he said, as King Arthur that “I can’t love people in slices.” So what is it? Am I trying to say? That I love you, I love us, I love every day, here and now, always and forever, yes my phone again. It’s only that some days are better to love than others. Some people need more of me than others sometimes. Inky Johnson said something like he deserves to give people the best version of him. It’s like John Legend’s All of Me. Anita’s, Giving You The Best That I Got. Am I saying my love is like some movie or music? Shall I start to be your Romeo and swear on the moon or compare thee to summer’s day?

The point is I’m here and Will Love Every Day.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

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Tell me I didn’t say that, write that, or even choose to think. You see why I spend so much time sleeping or living vicariously through others. As the song ask, would you lie with me and just forget the world? “To Be Silently Willing.”

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but must I tell everyone? There was a time I played PCH for hours. Time better spent reading, writing, and “Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful.” Now was that a little too much? Is that somewhat an insult within honesty? Can’t I just say right now, My Love, I’m tired. I didn’t sleep much last night after working on the novel late. So yes, I’ll say STUPID things (cringes) from time to time. I suppose that music won’t be my salvation. Minnie Riperton’s musical stylings?

It’s one of the reasons I love how you’re a reader like me. It’s why I buy books for our kids all the time. I’m sure the Dæmon doesn’t mind, old man these days. I value your mind, and when we say something. Not sounding like the President but zero responsibility. Though, I’m not tossing away the music. Have I told you about the time I regret not dancing with my friend at her wedding? You know I can name hundreds if not thousands of songs, Not one got me to move on the dancefloor because I was afraid SIGH. Indeed, I’ve told you my dirty little secret of actually enjoying the plague era. I’m going to miss wearing masks. Now with all of the stuff that comes out of my mouth, still facing the man in the mirror. That’s the hardest thing to do. Name something that masks prevent?

Kissing You? At this rate, I’m going to have a whole new playlist now, including Des’ree. For the record “I’ll Always Love My Mama,” and I’ve worked for a few black women I can’t stand. Anyway, kissing you is an excellent way to shut me up with everything in life. Also, my Dæmon and I like to eat. I’m not one for the holidays, but on Thanksgiving, my Mom cooks. Hell, I even have memories of E-Day steak and baked potato. Anything that keeps my mouth shut and makes me want to see the world one more day, My Love. Listen, I’m not saying I don’t get loud, but there are days like today that I can’t say anything right. I want to be like Elton John, John Legend, Bruno Mars, the guy from W.I.T.C.H. and write you a song.

Worked out well. But silence is my kindness, or “Les Fleurs.” To Be Silently Willing

I Will Have No Fear