Tag: Love

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

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As the song goes, why didn’t I say, the things I needed to say, in a way I guess I’m following suit with everyone else, and the truth shall set you free, of the mortal coil that is, falling in love SIGH. Willing Form Of Excess, yep it’s too much

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Log 253 ~Willing Form Of Excess~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as always, I want more. My Love, my heart exists in the seven pounds of fluff, that is, My Firstborn. I could hold it my IPad or Kindle when I get a new one, of course. At one point, it could fit like the chocolate on my pillow. My heart is the boom in my ears with whatever I choose to listen to. I could keep it in my wallet, in my pocket, it is every word on the screen. This heart of mine, baby girl, could fit on a computer screen, and I wanted so badly to see it in the mirror. Then one day SUDDENLY, I met you.

Yes, I like Billy Ocean, but ahem that’s beside the point. Sometimes I think I’m drowning in you baby doll. Have you ever noticed that love is always akin to dying? Knees get weak, can’t catch your breath, falling? Butterflies in your stomach, silence, fly away. I could go on, but love seems scary, painful, and torturous. So you think I’m running away from you and the children. I’ve said I’ll never be one of those men with a “Man Cave,” I prefer a Study. Okay, I will have a TV and video games. Anyway, my point is and I’ve said this enough I am afraid if you ever got to know everything. If you knew what I spent three hours today looking up? You know my businesses, my writings, my dreams, but I am a greedy such and such.

Running, I’ll admit to that, but as the song goes, take me as I am, take my life, who am I, Robin Hood? Now, If I were yours indeed, as you are mine, my heart, like the Grinch, grows three times. My Love, there wouldn’t be room for everything I feel for you and our family. I’ve said I would not destroy my vision, not even for you. I’m all Tangled with you being my New Dream. To share this with you, to never burn it away but to bathe in it. You’re my mermaid, my siren, my tsunami, and did I mention I never learned to swim. Worse is I know who I am, what I am, and like Edward, to Bella, I want to protect your soul. There is a reason I’ve always liked good girls, innocent, pure.

I build this world even greater, More, for love of you, Willing Form Of Excess.

“You’ll never be just anything. A tsunami can never be ‘just’ a wave.”
“Get off my chin.”
“I like that about you. Waves are banal. Tsunamis reshape the Earth. Under the right circumstances, even entire civilizations.”
I blink.
“You’re going to be one hell of a woman one day” Iced

I Will Have No Fear

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

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I’m not a BETA, better yet I’m not a BETA READER, but for someone who knows disdain for most of my words, there are plenty of people saying, “Hey Listen” like their Navi and I’m Link. “And Will’s Sentence Is,” well, it’s usually smut, but it’s honest

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Log 248 ~And Will’s Sentence Is~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it starts with writing. Yes, I still intend to make my money much like Dennis Hof. Yet, I want to write a bestseller, and how is that getting along nowadays? I’ve learned that besides great sex, some men only want to be heard. Now that goes for everyone. We want a voice. I ask a lot of women Dirty Diana, sometimes too much, I understand. Words, though, are all I have, and yes, sometimes I take them for granted. I say bad things? Only to be ignored Dirty Diana, silence is a fierce weapon.

Okay, so none of this sounds sexy. Dammit, I’m not playing the ALPHA MALE right now. I won’t be a BETA, though, more to the point a BETA READER. That’s the crux of what’s bothering me these days. I’ve said before I like making women feel good, and do you know why. When women are pleased, so am I. The thing is I’m pleasing women and what am I getting out of it, Dirty Diana. Read my story, she says, praise my poem, tell me I’m pretty and what about me, hmm? My prose, you don’t have to read it, publish your poetry not that I care, be the pervert so I can laugh. I’m a sadist, I enjoy punishments but fuck how I will praise. I refuse to serve out a sentence where that’s all I do, so some girl can tell me where some guy can put his penis. I am so done.

I know that road, Dirty Diana. There was a time I wrote for “gentlemen,” and next thing you know, some girl is losing her panties. The same thing said with my face is a fucking jail sentence. Like I said pervert, and in some cases, yes, I’m skeevy. Even now, I don’t want to sound mean, but why not. It beats begging, didn’t I say that before I’m whining. Dirty Diana, I have no qualms about paying a woman for her body. To possess her mind, though, to know yeah, I’m a dick, but I want to please. Well, rage, rage, dying of the light, and all that which I failed today because I’m so stressed out. The truest sentence, I know, “No, I’m not your Beta-reader, what about me?”

My silence, smut, some shame, what. And Will’s Sentence Is

I Will Have No Fear

Log 246 ~A Question Of Will~

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I regret not dancing with my friend at her wedding but the song, do you love me now that I can dance, well for the right woman I better learn like “American Wedding” am I right, and I have more questions. “A Question Of Will”

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

Log 246 ~A Question Of Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now and an intellectual. Yeah, which one of those is truer? You know I’m a Star Wars fan, so I’ll quote Han Solo, “Never tell me the odds.” I’m one to ask questions because I want to know, and at the same time, it’s like I will never understand. If it’s not that, then I already know the answer. In a way, I do, am I the best lover and friend, the best daddy I can. Come on; you think I was going to get through this without music, namely Will Smith. Well, how about 21 Questions?

Don’t worry, my love I’m not going to bore you today with that many. I could ask you how you think my new book is doing. How I respect the NaNoWriMo community, but I’m ready to turn Facebook off. From asking about my book title to the differences between Reverend and Minister. You could ask me how was work today? I don’t want to say okay. What I do now is a million times better than once upon a time? Still, the things I looked up, the stories appearing in front of my eyes, the money, the power, the women. I’ll ask you to stay with me, and I’m frightened of what that answer might be someday. I won’t lie; it was a lack of confidence at one point. Only I know who I am and what I want, and I’ve said, I Can’t Stop.

You ask me, am I happy and I’ll ask you the same. Does the money make me happy, my dæmon, our other children, you? My mom told me once about unconditional love, but she didn’t protect me from my “father.” I will never be like him, but the fact that again you stay, you’re mine. You’ll have to excuse me, maybe it’s novels, perhaps it’s braided hair, or I could have half a brain. I’ll ask you, Real or Not Real; you love me? Star Wars and The Mockingjay, right? The strange thing is, the hardest question I asked you was, what’s your name. After that, everything else followed, but my curiosity never stopped. I will understand someday, but I have to keep asking the questions. One more song; oh darling Stay With Me, won’t you.

I don’t have much of a voice, am I so smart, A Question Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 241 ~Call Him Iron Will~

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I’m no blacksmith, do they even call it that anymore, the only metals I’m concerned with these days besides My Dæmon’s collar ring is the nickels and dimes I have and what do I usually spend those on, it’s hard not to. “Call Him Iron Will.”

Thursday, February 27, 2020

Log 241 ~Call Him Iron Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and do you know why? Bucks, Broads, Bullets, and dare I say Biology. I am not my “Father” I don’t beat women or small furry kids. Okay, yes, I hit my sister, it’s called having a sibling. My Dæmon did see the business end of a rolled-up newspaper, but I never kicked him at the door. Okay, before I sound any more like the dude from “The Room,” this leaves Bucks and Broads. I’ve never seen people harder than when they’re defending their money and the desire for more. Men are supposed to be hard for any number of reasons. You know me, though; I’m usually talking about my penis.

It’s Day Two of NO FAP; of course, the goal is seven days like I’m a damn drug addict. If I didn’t mention it before, Sunday night, it was Anna Vlasova, aka Alissa Angel. There was also the woman in the red dress; no, not that one. At least she knows a guy FAPS to her, which isn’t a compliment? I’m trying Dirty Diana, hell I’m listening to The Gargoyle and that’s told from a narrator that has no dick. I’m even going to reread it, so ask me why I’m looking up Audible books from the Erotica genre. Why am I going to cut our conversation short tonight so I can work on a snippet of Apocalypse Rush? If I’m not “holding on” to my “Iron Will,” I need something else, anything else. I hate being gross, hell, if I wanted an excuse to keep my head up, it’s feet. Now that is a fetish, and I’ll never understand, not judging. Fuck Me Pumps, Boots, Frilly Socks, yes please but bare feet Hell No.

No, I didn’t forget about black pantyhose and thigh high stockings now that’s a dangerous road. Okay, speaking of which, I haven’t been playing any games (DAMN DEN HUMMING). I’ve been watching play-throughs. You remember Detroit: Become Human and the Eden Club. Sexbots, sexbots, do you want me to break out Tom Jones’s “Sex Bomb.” Anyway, the Internet being what it is talked about sex dolls and talk about something hard to get around. Real Dolls and Piper Dolls. One more thing to add to my empire when I buy my first brothel, an idea.

Like calling myself Willie Long Stroke; Call Him Iron Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 239 ~A Whole New Will~

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Last night I discovered something brand new, not the kind of thing I would share with my son but with a woman in my life, the right woman I should say, finding new worlds, more “stuff, and thangs.” A Whole New World

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Log 239 ~A Whole New Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m greedy. My Love, I have to admit that I am somewhat Hoity-Toity. You’re looking at a man who was upset at the La Quinta by Wyndham. All because I preferred Courtyard by Marriott. SHUDDERS, my foot still hurts remembering that long drive. I was angry at myself for not getting My Dæmon a better boarding room. There were women way before you that I would choose a hotel before my “house.” I’m trying to explain that when I think of a whole new world. A whole new me I honest to God mean better.

“A man’s sexual choice is the result and the sum of his fundamental convictions…. He will always be attracted to the woman who reflects his deepest vision of himself, the woman whose surrender permits him to experience a sense of self-esteem. The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will want the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer–because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement.”
Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Sure we’ve had this conversation before. If a man wants an angel, he must build Heaven. A queen must have her throne. In my businesses, I want to provide the most beautiful, the comfiest place imaginable. As Sade would sing, “is it a crime?” You and I, My Love, as parents want to provide a better world for our children, more than we ever knew in our lives. Yes, I suppose I will be using plenty of songs today. Take another one of my favorites, “With Arms Wide Open.” One more reason I don’t want the kids to be like me, I tell them, “Be Not So Fearful” of this world before them. At the same time, baby girl, I create new worlds in my writing. Again I wish to build paradise because I know this world. I know I haven’t seen much of the world, and that’s why I want you and me together.

“You’ll never be just anything. A tsunami can never be ‘just’ a wave.”
“Get off my chin.”
“I like that about you. Waves are banal. Tsunamis reshape the Earth. Under the right circumstances, even entire civilizations.”
I blink.
“You’re going to be one hell of a woman one day” Iced

To me, my baby doll, “You Are My Home.” Not good, better, or even best, you are MINE. I become the man I want to be that I need to be, that I always should have been, because of you. Dare I say, “You Rock My World.” Understand this now. You’re my asteroid “Armageddon,” my tsunami “Iced,” my hurricane “Nerve.” You destroyed my world so that I could build the land of my dreams. You’re different, and excuse my geeky reference, but Galen called Jyn “Stardust; I call you “Moondust.” It scares me sometimes to think of the power you have and the power I found because of you. The things I will do and that I won’t do for you in this life. The more things change, the more they stay the same, looking at the man in the mirror, A Whole New Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 234 ~Enough Will To Love~

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The lesser of two evils and no good to be shown, though to some marriage and a “vanilla” lifestyle is enough, but what is it that I want in the end, well is there even a finale to be seen ever? “Enough Will To Love”

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Log 234 ~Enough Will To Love~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and if I haven’t said it before, “two girls at the same time.” Now I wouldn’t need a billion for that and maybe not even a million, but it’s still on my to-do list. What guy doesn’t want to do two girls, minus the gay ones? Anyway, if it isn’t two girls, it’s the fact that I can’t keep my mind on any one kink or fetish. Do you remember my “Red Dawn” Fantasy? Virgin Killer Sweaters meet The Purge. Hell, even the Day Job isn’t helping, I go from American Teen Lily Carter to Fake Driving School Estella Bathory.

I work with what I have Dirty Diana, retail, and driving. If today weren’t about sex, though, I would be in bed. My bed’s not big enough and while I enjoy BBW’s no doubt. A “Skinny Minnie,” as Cherry calls them and a BBW, well, that’s a thought. In one of my novels, the Male Protagonist has his way with a mother and her daughter. If he doesn’t, I’m writing it in there because I imagined Haley Pullos. Fucking an older and younger woman, now that would be something. A mother and daughter, what about sisters? I’ve had a thing for Mia Rose forever and her sister Ava. Talk to me about twins Dirty Diana. Is there any wonder I wanted Alice Little and Ruby Rae, not twins but two redheads? You want to know what’s worrisome, the two girls fight, and the Necro concept.

Didn’t I speak a few days ago about the taboo? What do you get when you take girls like Little Lupe and the end of the world? One of my favorite anime series, that’s what. I paid $20.00 and will probably shell out more when the time comes. Now, this might sound quite common but “Public Sex,” which in turn goes back into clothes. I swear, will I ever get black pantyhose off my mind? How many times have I mentioned Fechikano these days, along with humming and violence? I say I want to hit somebody I’m wrong, I want to fuck, it’s the same thing. People want to like an inch of me, and it’s that damn inch I hate about myself. I want someone, someones to desire me, love me, in my totality, or I’m a greedy S.O.B.

I’m rough, I fuck hard but Enough Will To Love?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 232 ~Does Will Have Soul~

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If I sold my soul to Hell, I suppose I would be a rich man already. I guess it’s the last thing I have to save for a future wife because “other” things well let’s say I have had some exciting experiences, some good and evil. Does Will Have Soul?

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Log 232 ~Does Will Have Soul~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I’ll never be a politician. In today’s age, considering my business dealings, I would be more than suitable. Well, seeing I’m a black man, with more than liberal views. Let’s keep in mind my hero was voted to the Nevada Assembly, and he was dead. He’s also one of few Republicans I respect. Now that leads me to today, which I’m glad to say was without incident. Well, a spammer on Facebook, but nothing reported email wise. I’m a much better man than that Love.

Only I continue to worry, baby girl, my phone still has me jumping. Not in the fantastic playlist way because you know I must have my music. While we’re on the subject, I do have my “Stork The Fire” and “Grown Folks Music” playlists. Would my parents be proud? Now, as far as my palate in the realm of “Soul Food,” I can’t say I’m much of a fan. One Thanksgiving, I am going to invite my mom and my sister. While I’m not so sure about my sister’s cooking, my mom is an expert. Not saying that I want her to cook, but she made sure I didn’t starve. She also taught me respect for women. As I tell you, always there are no secrets between you and me.

My firstborn, my dæmon, won’t be spilling my confidences anytime soon. So tonight I sit here contemplating the term, SOULMATE.

I tell myself every day that I share my soul with the world. One of my rules #148 Women Always Find Out The Truth. Nobody can take all that I am, My Love. Do I doubt you, of course not, but could I be honest, you need only ask anything? I heard this song the other day, “Not Afraid Anymore” by Halsey, she sings, “Heaven gonna hate me.” My life, my businesses are things people call evil. Trust me, baby doll. Those people have no idea. At the same time, I sing, “Cause without you they’re never going to let me in'” (Heaven) I mean. If I have a soul, I will give it all to you. On the same token, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t feel so bad. I’m not the President, I know right from wrong. I have a soul; I want to be a better man for you. Does Will Have Soul?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 227 ~Will Needs Better Material~

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A bit rushed, I know but call it desire, primal instinct, or my latest fetish for the moment; the wrong woman with the right accessory, it must be magic or a nice pair of black pantyhose. Will Needs Better Material.

Thursday, February 13, 2020

Log 227 ~Will Needs Better Material~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and this is awkward. Well, I don’t mean the money now, but it’s someone’s birthday today. My son is now fifteen (73 In Dog Years). So I want to wish him the happiest of birthdays until next year, of course. Remind me not to read about life expectancy. By this time in his life, he should have a mom and siblings. Okay, well speaking of everything I intend to do to his future mom or woman for the moment. My Dæmon hasn’t like anybody since Indiana Gone moved back home.

Now I don’t mind watching some women walk away. You also know I have a habit of keeping women in place. As I told Cherry once, as the song goes, “chains and whips excite me,” but not in a traditional sense. While I’m busy singing another song goes, “I, got a fetish for fuckin you witcha skirt on” SIGH. Grammarly is going to ding me that but anyway; clothes Dirty Diana. Yes, regular vanilla fucking works too, but you know I’m always one for the story. A love story is what I want, but tonight is more along the lines of “Fechikano! Vol.1 Hime Shuu.” For those unfamiliar, it’s about a guy named Shuu who falls for Hime and ends up fucking her, of course. He has passions when it comes to her clothing from panties to none. Knee socks, to stockings/pantyhose, so well rounded.

I’m a breast man on any given day. When’s the last day I’ve gone without looking at tits? I could also go on about the subject of tying a girl up with her bra, hands behind her back. I don’t mind keeping a pair of her panties, hell I have a closet full of stuff for a submissive. Knee socks and pantyhose, hmm, not to mention I’ve had fantasies of a certain bubble butt girl. The thing is, though, when thinking of those knee socks, I’m one for some bright colors. Pantyhose they have to be black, I don’t know why they look gaudy in any other color. In both instances, I can blame witches. Talk about a witch hunt. One in particular with her black pantyhose, I want to tear a hole in, and I think you know where. I wonder how much those would cost or to fuck her. Will Needs Better Material.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 225 ~Will And “Folk” Heroes~

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One day I’ll hear those words, “Help me Daddy,” yeah, I know what I’m thinking but I’m serious, I’ll always be there for my family and no, I’m not a hero. They’ll also talk about meeting the folks me and my wife. Will And “Folk” Heroes

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

Log 225 ~Will And “Folk” Heroes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, even after I gave my parents a few million, so I’ll never see them again, well, dad. If I ever become my father, do what you think is right, but don’t become my mother. You don’t deserve mistreatment or anything less than to be the goddess you are My Love. The one thing I ever learned from my father was money, and he’s not a rich man. Indeed most of my heroes are rich men, and I don’t know how they did family life. With what I do for a living, most people ask how I dare to be a father.

My “Big Sister” told me once, “you can’t build a strip club, next to a school.” I wholeheartedly agree, and while I won’t keep any secrets from you when it comes to our children? Now I’m Sonny Corinthos saying my kids will never be part of the MOB. There was another woman who worked for me once and is an awesome mom. My business is one thing, but respecting her as a woman is another. People do as they like, and I wouldn’t want you or any of my family to know disrespect for my dealings. It’s hard wanting to be one man and then wanting to live the dream, and would I surrender one for the other? Again I don’t know how they do it, baby girl. Writers like Todd Michaels and S. Wolf; there are others, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

I still don’t want to be my old man, thinking I give money, so that’s love. Who has to be terrifying or full of rage to hide insecurities and anxiety. I’m never going to hit our kids or threaten them with any violence. They will never feel ashamed of themselves, and I swear if anyone ever calls them STUPID.

Now they say boys marry girls that remind them of their mothers. You can have her intelligence, her heart, and talk about courage. Will I call her the epitome of parenting? My sister has two kids with different dads, and how did I turn out? Then I look at my firstborn, and I always say I love him like pancakes. I couldn’t love him more if I poured the Bisquick myself. For all our kids, we can be the best parents, Will And “Folk” Heroes.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

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I’ve had dogs before, my grandmother’s. His name was Wishbone; he was shot. Grandma lives ghetto adjacent. I had a chow puppy; one of my grandfather’s dogs killed him. “My Dæmon,” once belonged to my sister. He’s nearly 15. Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

Monday, February 10, 2020

Log 224 ~Dogs Have Such Big Hearts~

Hundred And Twenty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so My Dæmon’s backyard is enormous. As you know, I’m a time-traveler (Friday, February 7). For the record, I still stick by the first rule of going through time, DON’T.

Anyway, if I were to imagine the future, I see him, he’s grown a beard, or all his little tan hairs are gray. He lies between two or three children, a boy and a girl Luke and Leia, or three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Yes, I know there are other combinations. I didn’t even get to name My Dæmon, though we called him Neo for three days, my mother changed it.

I always thought the deepest love was between two partners sharing their lives. The truth is, though, I would kick any woman out on her behind for my firstborn. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t hear the word LOVE. I say it nearly every day, and any time I leave the house. You know how my #2 Impossible Thing is always to be a better father. One of the reasons I’m not is because it’s my boy who shows love 24/7 365. Even now, where is he, you ask? He’s lying against my leg, taking a break from his guard duties. Now I can’t blame him. Madam Justice, he’s the strongest man I know. I’m ashamed to admit this and I should save it for Inspector Echo, but I hit him yesterday. Not on purpose, never, but you know my rants about “Coal” at the Day Job, right? So yesterday I was watching all these bully fights. There was this big one with Bruce Lee fighting all these guys on a rooftop, beautiful brutality.

Well, I’m up, and I’m swinging, and My Dæmon gets excited and WHAM, he gets smacked in the nose. One more thing my son teaches me, and that’s FORGIVENESS. I swear he’s hated me more for vet visits and that never lasts more than a day. Isn’t it ironic that he has heart troubles and my love for him, wow? I buy his medication, his food, everything he needs. I’m sitting here going crazy with the humming. Scared, I did something to my ear this afternoon. I’m exhausted, and all this seven-pound ball of fluff wants to do is help and comfort his own Dad. GRATITUDE, he’s my sweetest blessing.

Dogs Have Such Big Hearts.

I Will Have No Fear