Tag: Worry

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I talked about sweat and blood, and I’m “man enough,” to admit there were tears of frustration and considering it’s taken me two whole days to get this conversation done. Will Of Computer Illiterates yeah I want to sleep more

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Log 212 ~Will Of Computer Illiterates~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can pay people to do things. It would be nice to have my own “FOS” (Friends Of Spinelli) or “FOW.” Yes, once upon a time, I watched General Hospital, the women are beautiful. I’m also a big fan of Studio Fow, and you can look that up at your peril Inspector Echo. Only I’m not ashamed of once liking Soap Operas or my obsession with Adult Entertainment. My fixation, passion, I’ll even say mania, I’m surprised I found time to talk to you.

No, that’s not an insult; I give my energy, time, money, and even my books when it comes to a pretty face. Is that what inspired me to watch the Royal Rumble, yes, a catfight might do it for me sometimes. Could it be the reason my computer is slowing down? I should probably run System Restore, but not until I solve the current issue. Today I wanted to talk about the perils of adulting. It could be my bum ear, my hands that feel like I might have pulled something. Well, that will be my leg at the Day Job, no doubt. What about the constant humming? Didn’t I say once I was learning to live with the drone? I’ll admit I was wrong when it came to that. My biggest problem today is I’m trying to be “The Man” and still acting like a little boy. Yesterday (Sunday), everybody was mourning a GREAT man in Kobe Bryant, SIGH.

Again I’m not mocking, but not crying either, and several people died, it’s sad, but I’m not reading about that anymore. What I am studying is Cherry’s poetry, again and again. A man doesn’t want to fail a woman. So since 1:00 PM this afternoon, I’ve been working on a project for her and failing miserably. Remember when I was playing Far Cry 5, another Clutch Nixon mission “The Lord of The Wings?” Inspector Echo, this is so much worse. I’ve talked women out of their clothes, but I can’t break a page? I don’t have the time to look up the differences between a geek and a nerd. However, unlike so many bullies thinking, wearing a pair of glasses doesn’t make you either. I’m a horny guy thinking if I can’t do this small thing well, I’m not much.

Sorry, Will Of Computer Illiterates

I Will Have No Fear

Log 211 ~Will Leaves A Note~

WillLeave a comment

When I was in junior college for a bit, I wrote to some girl; let’s say that it’s a lesson I keep having to repeat, which is why I swore off poetry for quite some time and now, well, my second best friend can judge. Will Leaves A Note.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Log 211 ~Will Leaves A Note~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I want to take you with me, My Love. Now I don’t have to spell out who I admire, but in my business well, it didn’t help him any. He got married twice and never tried it again, but I have you. Yes, I have you, and there will never be any secrets between us. “THEY,” say that brevity is the soul of wit. That was William Shakespeare if memory serves. Anyway, I tend to be longwinded in writing, at least. The things I say can often be, well, there are many things, so why not “Come with Me Now.”

I can’t even tell you now what today’s plan is because I want to be a gentleman. If you didn’t like me using songs, chances are we wouldn’t be here today. Only an epiphany I had, always apologizing for something that isn’t a flaw. The same is true for my writing baby girl. Do you remember the show “How I Met Your Mother?” I hated Ted and especially hated Robin. Well, Ted had this thing about women reaching for the check SIGH. As always I am one for tradition, I pay you shouldn’t even be worried about it ever. My thing has always been words; I realize the power that they have. The words I’ve written for myself have nearly had me fired, I’ve met cops, was kicked out of school for a while. Those same words with a handsome face, a pretty girl, a beautiful woman, or a wad of cash, well, we’re here.

You weren’t scared when I quoted the lyrics of Butterfly, a bit of Twilight, my many novels, or even the truth. Still, I pick up a pen, I touch a keyboard, I might text, and it frightens me baby doll. Besides being in love with you more each day and hating being away, I rather have you around whenever I can. Obsession, see you don’t even bat an eye with such talk. My dream told me so, yes, you know I believe in dreams. Last night it was so easy, the two of us lying on this couch/bed duo you in a hoodie and well? Talk for another time, but we were getting ready to watch WWE Royal Rumble. I don’t want to be afraid, though, when I write to you ever. Stay With Me before Will Writes A Note.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

WillLeave a comment

Well, those aren’t tears, and I still believe I need more sweat and blood, and I’m trying, and no, I’m not whining or crying, but today has been exhausting but I’m starting back at square one and it ain’t fun. “Willie Don’t You, Oh,” wow, am I right?

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Log 205 ~Willie Don’t You, Oh~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how much would I give to have twenty-four days again? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours yet, and you know these will be the HARDEST, yes pun intended. So apologies for what I did. For having to fight so hard today and for this week, and my usual humor. As always, my “code” is “just the facts, ma’am,” so (Sunday) night; I blew it as it were. So now that’s somethings crying, I see no need to so, the positives.

I found out I still have what it takes to write. Well, that comes from the same “obsession” that slew me last night. We do what we love Inspector Echo or we should. Is that why I BLANKED myself, as the song goes, isn’t it ironic. It’s reinvigorating in some ways. You know I was beginning to believe that it’s starvation that makes you want anything. My motivations always speak on being hungry because it drives you, fair enough. It’s like though having a bottle of water, makes me want the ocean. How much have I looked up, and I’m still not looking at twenty-four hours yet? I’m not one for philosophy, but I am thinking, not overthinking but flowing like water. You know there’s a better way to say that, but it’s like fishing.

My mind is clear, which, of course, is always a direct result. It doesn’t last for too long, but nobody gets how I find my peace. I’ve said before, I breathe naturally, I’m happier, the hunger drives me, but I’m not a beast. Not this moment anyway. Especially with both Cherry and M Anime going through hard times. There are tears, and the last thing I need to be doing is whining. Don’t get me wrong; I still want what I want, but now isn’t about me, Inspector Echo. You can’t give with an empty cup and if a “certain” chalice is full? Philosophy and now politics, the rich only want more always. It all comes back to BALANCE, and that is something I need to master. Now that’s another sin, either I starve, or I feast, I’m lazy, or I grind, always an extreme.

So I do regret what happened last night, the day I worked today, and then I got lazy, no reading. Only I’m not going to weep; Willie Don’t You, Oh.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 204 ~Breaths Of Willing Air~

WillLeave a comment

It’s been a while since I’ve written any poetry, too busy living the fairytale or playing Winston Smith from 1984 but aren’t I remaining positive, been 21 days hopefully and no woman has called me creepy or skeeve (shudders). “Breaths Of Willing Air”

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Log 204 ~Breaths Of Willing Air~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means champagne wishes and caviar dreams. As I’ve said before, My Love, if I ever get into all that, I want you to smack me hard. Your husband has always been crazy, but what exactly do we measure that by sometimes? Anyway, today I am once again reminded of what I’m willing to do to live the dream. Aren’t you the dream, and don’t I want to share everything I am with you? I don’t want to hide from you ever, but what inspires me to greatness, the first step.

Before I was a billionaire, seems so long ago. When I couldn’t catch my breath around you, and now I can speak before the masses. How I imagined seeing the world that was waiting for us, I am a poet. So I wrote today as I was inspired. You’re the only girl on this Earth for me, but I’ve written hundreds if not thousands of poems. Love, haven’t you been the subject of many. You never found me creepy, again crazy, or condescending. Even now, I just thought I would leave it at that, but I keep right on talking. One more reason I fancy myself a movie buff because I don’t have to speak. Didn’t we talk about music a while ago and quotes from all manner of books and films? I told a friend of what men will do for a woman. Here I wanted the world only for myself as always and forever.

If there is a mountain, a man will climb it or move it if he must. Some men make women angels or goddesses, and so they learn to fly. I said my fate dictates I would fall in love with a mermaid, and I still can’t swim. Oh yeah, we own a yacht, don’t we, but that’s not caviar thinking. Now, if a man wants a queen, you will watch kingdoms fall, which brings me back to my point. I give up air to kiss you enough so I might be suicidal. Only those finger swipes, those pages flipping, the oohs and ahhs from the crowds. The gasps, my work makes me feel alive. It gives us breathing room, and I can’t surrender it ever. I won’t ask forgiveness for my work, baby doll.

May you understand it though for Breaths Of Willing Air.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t get me wrong, as I still plan on having a business of my own, but for now, it’s time to start making some moves with the money I got, and how do they say, gain the whole world and lose your soul. “In Exchange For Will.”

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Log 198 ~In Exchange For Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or should I say I have 769,100,000 Pounds Sterling. Now, why would I ever need to know that? In the quest for S E X, I’ve looked up the letters, RICK, CHD, PFE, and was excited for EROS when I first saw it. I agonized over my car last year; not anymore, this is the week. Anyway, I shell out for my Dæmon without question. Whatever It Takes, to keep his health up, of course, I’ll pay the vet. How people say, they change in the name of God but the man that I must become.

I can’t stress this enough, but I’m only speaking the truth. If it becomes a sin, to be honest, then my motivations aren’t worth anything. I’m not a Republican and especially not the President. Someone said the truth would set you free, and I’m not religious either, but unlike last week, I will let it go. The expense of keeping my kid alive, I never question such a decision. It’s only an annual check-up, and everything is fine with him. Again I am traveling through time; today is Monday. Of course, I need to get a refill of his medication before his appointment. Speaking of things, I need to check the Stock Exchange. Instead of letting my money sit in the “Death Star,” I could put it in owning a business. My focus is on Sin Stocks. You know those with Adult Entertainment, condoms, and pills for men. Sometime this week I’ll invest even more.

Why don’t I invest more in being a “good friend?” Do you want to know why I know the exchange rate from dollars to pounds? More adult entertainment, MILF Dos is one of those “California Girls,” but Cherry is across the pond. My Motivations ask, what do I want to be proud of today. Well, I woke up at 1:30 AM to have this conversation with you as always. So if I’m going to talk it might as well be worth something, so I told her I’d stop “giving away” money. I’m smarter with “Specs,” but I know the effect she has on me when she gets close. Cherry isn’t close physically, but money pushes some people away, but with enough? Now that’s something I won’t apologize for, the things I’m doing for more money.

Money, Power, Women, my life exchanged, In Exchange For Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

WillLeave a comment

Last week I talked about a woman and her word and today, well (Sunday) I ran my mouth to a girl and you know the standard routine, but no, I’m not worrying, a new year and all. What Women Will Accept?

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Log 197 ~What Women Will Accept~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and this is only Part I. So yes, to answer your question, I like the title. Well, I have a few questions for you if I only dare to ask. Of course, the most obvious you answered before our kids, and My Dæmon agreed to surrender his spot. Another question as the song goes “Do You Love Me” yes, we’ll get into my music today. I won’t have to ask that question, though, if I know every day. The truth is, I must say it to my firstborn three times daily.

Okay, I understand as another song goes, “I Don’t Know How To Love Him.” I look at my reflection in the mirror and wonder the same thing. My Dæmon is often confused enough. You can love the man I had to become for us to be together. The husband, the father, the businessman. Are you willing to accept me though, the real me, and here’s another song, behind my “Charades.” I speak about business, and I’m no lord of war. I can’t say I wouldn’t invest in weapons. Yes, my ambition has always been to become the 1%. You know how I write. I don’t hide my investments because there are no secrets between us. The businesses I check every day. I know men who say, “I have a wife,” or a daughter, sister, mother. I love all the women in my world, but I won’t leave an industry I’ve worked towards my entire life.

Even in the name of love? When that word leaves my lips, it means something. So I ask you, baby girl, when did it mean anything when it came to you and me? I know the who and what, but then there when, where, why, and how. That’s a process I wouldn’t mind repeating, starting “Back At One.” Now that leads me to music, and we’ve had this talk many times. Some use poetry, others art, more the words of great men, and how I try My Love. Music, though it is not my gift, I use it to block “THEM” out and let you in always. Am I less of a man for having a hard time with my voice. I need yours until I can find the words, only three, I Love You.

It’s what I need love, but What Women Will Accept?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

WillLeave a comment

I tend to be a bit of a hothead for many reasons, but even Hell comes in different temperatures, or so I was taught, people talking too much and crowding my space, getting angry, and women. “Will, I’m On Fire” still

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Log 191 ~Will I’m On Fire~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which is good because the heat is on. For the record, though, that’s one more thing I don’t pay for yet. I’m also reminded of NBA Jam the phrase “He’s On Fire.” Do you remember so many years ago that was the worst thing, going to Jeremy’s house to lose in either that or Mario Kart? Now I’m busy dealing with the likes of Faith Seed in Far Cry 5. Well, at least I didn’t die last night, in the game. You know the rule about facts, though, and I am burning up this “Monday” morning.

I know all about letting go vs. holding on, but breaking a few decades of bad habits isn’t easy. Yes, I gave LP the cold shoulder and what did I say last week, no more stewing, but I boiled over. That man deserved to get burned, but while nobody else has given this a second thought possibly, here, I am. Am I still tossing away money like there’s no tomorrow? My “father” would say I’m spending money like it’s burning a hole in my pocket. Last week it was all about Cherry, and then came M Anime. Of course, I burned up over that with Dear Future Wife in my way. If I’m not on fire about a woman, then at least I’m warm, staying wrapped up in blankets sleeping. Well, I’m back up at 1:30 AM this morning, hoping life returns to; what, normal? Now you know what that is; Inspector, I deserve BETTER.

Not to sound like Joseph Seed, but have you seen the world? Australia is burning up day by day. The country is on the edge of war because of Trump. A girl on Twitter @lilearthangelk was selling pictures to raise money, and now she’s being chased around. Wasn’t that what I was doing to M Anime, getting all hot and bothered by her and then ranting? As the song goes, moving cool. What about cold hard cash, but I don’t know how much of that I got until I get the car fixed. It feels so safe here in this warm bed. Yesterday taking a shower, let’s say I had a preview at my directorial debut. That’s not dirty; there’s so much beauty in the world, but thinking of HER?

Hot in here or just her; Will, I’m On Fire.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

WillLeave a comment

A woman gives me a word, and here I am moving mountains, she takes it back and I have a hard time getting out of bed but it wasn’t a promise or anything, a time of chaos and sickness and I have a big mouth or hands. Big Will Goes Home.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Log 190 ~Big Will Goes Home~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I don’t look a thing like Jesus. Also, I don’t sound anything like him, but I want my words to carry the same weight. Some time ago, I was saying that words like POWER and FEAR are huge. What about LOVE? I Love You; I Do, I Will, Forever and Always. I could tell you a million times over that I Love You, but I Like Far Cry 5 a lot. Remember I liked that show Finding Carter and somebody says on it that six “Reallys” plus a “Like” equals love? Carly Rae Jepsen has a song about it; okay, so I’m dropping my phone.

Well, I thought so anyway, “Can We Talk” for a minute? The first time we talked, I didn’t want to talk about the weather. I got sunshine; okay, I’m trying to stop singing. Do you think I should have stuck to my brief stint as a songwriter? Of course, you know the types of books I’m known for, baby girl. One friend of mine told me I should go back to writing poetry. It wasn’t my big sister, but she is a wise woman, so is my mom, and you too, my beautiful wife. Their words worth listening to, women who mean what they say. Well, maybe not when you were having our kids, as the song goes, I didn’t mean to call you that. How about crushing my hand? I’m a fantastic writer, but speaking? Yeah, the last time I gave you my left hand. I’m rambling; my point?

Okay, I don’t drink because I can’t stand anything taking control of my words. Same with some medications, I want to have the power of my speech. Let it not be fear of censorship, hurting feelings, not even the almighty dollar. Here I was about to say I don’t want to take anything back? The things I write in the name of a buck, the stuff I get people to say and do for that green. You know For The Love Of Money and all that baby doll. I ask you about your day continuously. What do you need or want? What if you’re going to take something back; I don’t mean material things. Tony Montana said he had his balls and his word. I give you my word but yours; Big Will Goes Home.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

WillLeave a comment

Happy New Year and I do mean happy because if I’m not well, no, I won’t give in to negativity so then what’s the point of Inspector Echo, just the facts ma’am and I’m not that old. We Breaking Up Will

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Log 184 ~We Breaking Up Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re not a gold digger. Well, at least no more than I allow. Anyway, to answer your question, we probably should but no. Are you a hard habit to break Inspector Echo, of course? Do I have far worse addictions? I’m on edge as we speak, considering it’s still New Year’s Eve, Tuesday. It’s pretty awkward when I said I’m not going to beat myself up anymore. I can’t afford it; I mean, it costs me a billion dollars. I’m not a SUB or SWTCH, so time to DOM up.

Still, I better enjoy today while it lasts because on Wednesday, so okay. First thing, I’m back to dying on Far Cry 5. The angels killed me once, but more so, I blew up my truck. What about those Vietnam Lighters? Next, seeing as how it’s a brand new year, I need to get the car fixed. No more walking blind with my eyes shut, if that makes any sense. Can I be afraid of my “father” forever? The Day Job, of course, continues to be humiliating but only because I allow it to be so. I indeed have a choice, and one of them is to tell my boss to quit touching me like always. No, not like that, but I hate those touches. Now, what did I say about “Edging,” I’m wasting time, I could get more sleep if only I would buckle down and do the work?

So what will your job be if I’m not going over every single humiliation I endure. “Just the facts, ma’am” and no Inspector Echo, I’m not that old, not yet. If anything, I’ll tell the truth and then let it go, no more stewing. One of the things that make me a good Dom is I know the other side, a Sub; it’s like the light side and the dark side of the force. I’m a little gray. Now that’s a good example; my “beard” was gray. Not how I feel about it, only honesty, and no more. I’m getting old before my time, and while Cherry (cue homer drool) is into that, I’m not her type. What, I won’t be ashamed of desire, but I won’t revel in it either. I have a new year to see Inspector Echo.

Happy New Year, none of this We Breaking Up Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

WillLeave a comment

Well, it’s official, the last song of the year Always With Me Always With You by Joe Satriani then again who knows, I remain a day early in writing, but I still haven’t found love yet so? Will Sees In 2020

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Log 183 ~Will Sees In 2020~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I believe in a thing called love. Am I going to end this year on a song; I guess we’ll see or hear. Drinking does funny things to people, and I still don’t like fireworks. So what do I see when kissing you, what do I feel? THEY believe that love is blind, and at the same time, THEY believe in love at first sight. Well, I lie with you in the darkness, and I am not afraid. I open my eyes, and all I need to see is you. My dæmon isn’t a seeing-eye dog, but he knows to find you, and I follow.

“It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.” FTWD

I call you my Lady, my Love, Baby You’re My Light. Fireworks touch the sky by the hand of man. I will never be one for religion, but as in Willow, you are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky. If anything thy art divine. I’m sure we’ll cringe at these words when we’re older. One thing I want to leave in 2019 is being so fearful of what I see. Do I still believe that you’ll hurt me, which is why I place you so high? Like fireworks, I see you up there, and I know I’m safe but madness I think you’ll fall and what, burn me alive. The sun warms; the moon controls the tides and the starlit sky? I could wish upon a star right now, but what would I desire. You’re already here, and at midnight I’ll close my eyes and when they open again.

I’m a little Drunk On You, is that the last song for this year? You should have seen me trying to pick my first song for the new year. When it comes to you, My Love, well, you’re such a Wonderful Surprise and that song I couldn’t find on Spotify. A serious question, but what year did I find you again? One more worry for the new year but one we’ll see together, after a few seconds, minutes, hours. As always, I’m working hard to give you all my time. Or am I Saving All My Love For You? All I know is I’m still one day ahead and still working in bed. Hard Habit To Break, unlike my glasses, what big eyes I have.

Happy New Year from Your Big Bad Wolf, Always With You, Will Sees In 2020.

I Will Have No Fear