Tag: Hell

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

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Steal, Still, Steel, language can be a miraculous thing though most days I spend talking to myself or my Dæmon and usually we’re both out cold like today. I wore out the snooze button with my clumsiness. “The Will Of Steel.”

Saturday, December 12, 2020

Gospel 164 ~The Will Of Steel~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you have got to remind me of this title after Christmas. You don’t know how I really want to turn this into, you know. Hell, even when I’m not in the mood, it’s like being the HULK. That’s the thing, Lady Lu, I’m always, sigh. Anyway, today I feel heavy, heavy-handed, ham-fisted, and being handled by life. Yet with these hands, I still find a way to push the buttons on alarm clocks. I might as well pin my legs to the bed. Um, there’s the six impossible things I keep going at or not.

Stealing more hours from my future self than I care to admit Lady Lu. You can see what time it is now. Even with everything that happened yesterday, I was still earlier than now. Of course, you can ask Lady Sophia about that because I rather forget. Well, until Friday. Stealing another moment that could bring about happiness. Only again, I instead wallow in self-pity. If anything, it beats what else I would be doing. Indiana Gone asked me what I wanted for Christmas. One of those phone cleaners? The real dirt, I added myself.

Still, every day, I go out and fight the fight. Now when I say go out, that could mean on most days only crawling out of my bed. Ask me where I am now, and that would be the loveseat in my den/game room, my Dæmon by my side. And my hands to the keyboard. Still, trying to make something of my life at least until 5:30 PM, and then what? Phone games until 6:00 PM, and then I’m killing cultists… in another game. Why am I still surprised that saying such a thing is acceptable but not some others?

Steel for real as the world falls apart and people are getting crazier by the day. I’m not ready to spend $500 to save the car I have because I need to save my black ass. Oh, I said that the gun I have scares me? I’m like Kevin Bacon/Nick Hume in Death Sentence 2007. Steel, like gold, is in short supply these days. Or is it the fact that I’m lazy as all Hell again like today? And with these hands, why be distracted, dirty, or even somewhat dangerous.

The real me sacrificed for this, The Will Of Steel.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

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I’ve been listening less to the Pussycat Dolls and more to daily motivations. Spotify told me that my most played song this year has been “Sucker For Pain.” Good thing I didn’t win the presidency. “Pushing My Buttons Willie,” none connected to bombs

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even with all this cash, I’ll still buy hoodies. In a way, I’m starting to feel like Linus; only my blue blanket is a black hoodie. Trevor Noah stole my look, right? I’m sure this isn’t the 1st time I’ve talked about such fashion choices. For now, I’m only trying to keep a pair of pants on for “obvious” reasons. I’ve already failed my Six Impossible Things for this week, but I can try. Lady Lu, I should go to the door and see if my newest NaNoWriMo shirt’s arrived.

That is what I call trying to cheer myself up because today has been one of those days. It’s only what now 10:05 AM. I was fighting with my alarm at around 5 AM. So yeah, I’ve been “diddling” around for about 5 hours. Well, until my Dæmon’s Medication Time. Didn’t I say something about him being all Nakey the other day (collarless)? Putting the collar back on and taking it off is getting easier. We also have him back on schedule, but he still wants hotdogs. I almost blew the microwave up in some way, I don’t know. $500.00 wouldn’t seem like much by comparison? Why yes, Lady Lu, I’m still “salty” at Serra Hyundai. Now I’m all sorts of worried about my car, and I haven’t left the house in how long? Every day I’m agreeing more with the Trumptards… Ignorance Is Bliss.

But I don’t want to be ignorant. As we have gone over again and again. STUPID is possibly the worse word in the English language. So I push buttons to read books every day. Am I learning from, um, Abby Knox, Eric Vall, or even my own work left unedited? I finally got back into Far Cry 5 the other day and, in less than a minute, blew something up? Yes, it was an accident. How about the times I died jumping off cliffs without my wingsuit deployed? I’ll try again tonight. Ok, try some hunting, ha. Speaking about guns… Yes, I’ll stick to video games or YouTube for now. All I’m doing is wasting time, even when I go to sleep on time. Ok, I’ll admit, an hour later, but I was talking to M. Anime. Please don’t let me screw this up seriously.

My mouth, my fingers, my pants. Pushing My Buttons Willie

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

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I should just work through the night. Hell, I could get back to using energy drinks and be sick for a week, but at least I’ll be done. You know that saying, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” “Will Makes It Possible,”

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but right now, I feel anything but. Here and Now… no, I don’t promise to love faithfully as the song goes. Hell, I abandoned you for years, and I’m still sorry about that. Anyway, I feel like David from The Fifth Element. I’m looking at the stone, which is my story. Not to mention another rock here or there. Okay, what I’m trying to say is AHEM, we’re not going to make it. I need 2000 plus words to finish on the 30th. Where am I now? I slept today away. I could give up plenty.

No, I don’t want to fail NaNoWriMo. What I mean is reading, an online game. I haven’t even looked at The Walking Dead game forever. You know I like Eric Vall, but it was a fight to stay woke. My other joy, I won’t mention but again, Six Impossible Things. Don’t you dare compare me to Trump; I take responsibility for my actions. Did I mention that my BFF, or should I say my 2nd BFF is in town? Um, my Dæmon has been a trooper today resting with his old man’s lazybones. Now, this week sucked ass, yep. So anyway, Indiana Gone and her hubby want to go to lunch. “Must Ee Nice” to be married a year; another song. Not like I’m getting any closer. I won’t lie; I’m scared to death to even say something to a woman now. Am I shy? I was holding my tongue at the Day Job, thankfully.

I’m forgetting so much, Lady Lu. Do you remember when I told you I’m watching an artist? I have no clue who it was, and I haven’t checked my money situation in ages. Everything has been either about NaNoWriMo or going to bed. Where do you think I’m typing from? Tonight though, I am trying. I’ll talk to you until 9:00 PM, and then come hell or high water, I’ll go have my Thanksgiving leftovers. Once again, Lady Lu, I will not lie to NaNoWriMo again. Either I make it, or I don’t. If I don’t, I won’t be buying another NaNoWriMo T-Shirt. Yes, I said purchase, but it’s like I wouldn’t deserve it if I fail. Tomorrow is lunch and of course TWD spinoffs, which I won’t miss ever.

I need that motivation in writing. Will Makes It Possible

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 144 ~Will Gets Very Math~

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A great man once said, never tell me the odds. For now, I rather not know how many days there in the week. How many people aren’t dead yet. How many words do I need to catch up in NaNoWriMo… around 700. “Will Gets Very Math.”

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Gospel 144 ~Will Gets Very Math~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, and you’re still wondering what day it is. SIGH, I can’t say I envy you. You know, each week I want to leave you with hope. However, today you feel somewhat between “Fortunate Son” and Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down.” Then you can throw in NPH from Starship Troopers, who said something to the tune of this. It’s simple numbers; they have more. Everything and everyone is coming up with numbers. Only you know which one really concerns me about you.

Okay, as we get into my many failures this week, let’s keep in mind that we are on a time crunch here. You have 23 minutes before WWE’s Survivor Series. It ain’t like you’re going to watch all of it anyway, seeing as how today is for Walkers and Empties… TWD. However, must I remind you that you aren’t dead yet. Neither are you suicidal, but you are definitely envying the dead right now. Of course, that’s the wrong thing to say during the days of Coronavirus, COVID-19. Hell, even wishing for death is somewhat acceptable. Not what you’re doing when it comes to “Sinning The Cherry On Top.” Can you imagine if such trash was allowed to be published? Well, first off, it has to be written, and how is that going? I know even with 2000 words, you didn’t make Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Catching Up With My NaNoWriMo Novel “Sinning The Cherry On Top.”
    Failed
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 4
    Completed

Should you continue to be selfish. Maybe you should add in the rest of the world and its numbers. I swear if it wasn’t the spammers, every side is fighting from votes, viral, and of course, violence. You might prefer that to the days of actual Hell that await, biblical. Hotdogs don’t seem to be appeasing the Dæmon, and at what time did he get his last meds. Oh yeah, he also needs his nails trimmed. Why don’t we spend some money on black jeans so his Dad can continue to hold down a job? Humiliations galore await you, friend. Yet I’m still going to give you Six Impossible Things when you only need one. From the show that started it all, “The Walking Dead.” JSS Just Survive Somehow. It would help if you got some sleep or food, a shower but Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Catching Up With My NaNoWriMo Novel “Sinning The Cherry On Top.”
  5. I AM Writing A New TWD Guild Intro
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus Lord 5

You’re not a caveman or a homeless one. Endure and Survive, FOCUS, Do Whatever It Takes. Will Gets Very Math.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

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So last week, around this time, I got 5400, and tonight there was 4300. I’m still not catching up to NaNoWriMo standards, but at least I’m not a liar when I put down 33,000 and some words total. Willing To Be Tired but not 700 words, but why not

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not the usual Trump supporter. Let’s say for the record that I’m sorry I keep bringing up that piece of shit, which is the president. I’ve said a few times actually that he just creeps into everything daily. Speaking of which, it’s 10:50 PM right this second which means, I might be going to bed at 2:30 AM again tonight. My Lady Luna, I didn’t want to talk to you until I rectified things with NaNoWriMo from last night. Negan would say, “Today was a productive damn day.”

Okay, counting what I should have done last night (1900 Words). Also adding today’s total (2000 words) and this conversation (400). I’m only 700 short of doing a good work total of 5000. Don’t get excited, Lady Lu. I still hate Math and Language Arts. Surprisingly I continue to sound like a “Trumptard” by going against any form of knowledge.

On the other hand, those idiots will get up early to support him, and here I am, waking up at 8:30 AM. It was a struggle, I tell ya, trying to get my hair cut, go shopping, and let me repeat it… 4300 words, WHOA. But as Brandy sang about. “Almost doesn’t count.” Don’t get me started on music. Last night or the day before? Okay, how do I say this without going off the deep end of my addiction?

A “person” who said they would provide a service robbed a bunch of people. They got the sum of a million dollars. Now this person has, had, is building, hell if I know a music career. They did a song called “Lonely” which I have listened to and watched because I’m Will. I didn’t buy anything from them, but the fact I have it on Spotify and am now listening to Akon’s “Lonely.” So I went to get a haircut, which is only $10.00, but another person convinced me to get a shampoo and a scalp massage. That means I’m out of Ghost Pepper sauce for my BBQ ribs SIGH. Finally, there is an artist I have my eye on, which means I’ll be shelling out cash for Patreon, maybe. If I need anything right now, it’s a good night’s sleep, now that is funny. Not with this coming week.

But too exhausted for nightmares, Lu. Willing To Be Tired.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

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Last week I said that I couldn’t get 5000 words down… AHEM 5400, but it’s past midnight, and at this rate, I might as well be all Forrest Gump “since I’ve gone this far.” Man cannot live on a cup of popcorn shrimp. Don’t Stop Will Now

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and to be honest, I’m not having a good time. More Money, More Problems, as the song goes. Well, with one-word irk, “Writing.” Allow me to be a broken record in this, More Writing, More Writing. Indeed 5000 words Lady Lu. I owe you an apology Lady Lu because you see what time it is 11:45 PM. Yeah, I was having too good a time until 2:00 PM, I suppose, when I decided to start working. I’m still in the hole by about um yep another 5000 words. Only I promised.

Last night, I said I would use this weekend to catch up. If I keep up this pace? As always, I know that I can get it done if I want to. That’s like saying I can finally get My Dæmon to take his meds. I still haven’t found a sure-fire method for either being real. Now, as far as writing goes, okay, one I know I can get this done if I simply buckle down and do the damn thing. Two, I don’t know why I’m trying so hard when I know how I’ll feel with the end result. Three SIGH, I’ll pay for a NaNoWriMo shirt. Why do I want to earn it so badly? All I know is right now is that everything hurts, and if I stop for a second, I’m never going to get this done. Now that scares me because it’s like the Day Job. If you’re going through Hell, you don’t stop for anything ever. Enjoying the view?

It’s why I tried my strategy of “Build The World In Thirty Days” for once. The title could use some tuning, but in my story, I’m only going between the United States and the U.K.

So NOT around the world, and I’m definitely not saving it, not my limited “Willpower.” One of the motivations I once listened to would say you only need three words. “Whatever It Takes.” I could also add to that “Burn The Boats.” While I’m looking for inspiration, it would explain why I’ve been watching Star Trek: DS9, Pacific Rim, DBH.

Hell, I’ve even been getting into the jams of the “cult classics” ha-ha in Far Cry 5. What’s one more pop culture reference AHEM, Where The Red Fern Grows Lu. God pushed over my tree, “WRITE,” Don’t Stop Will Now.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

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Do you matter, if I asked the Day Job, I’m nowhere near ESSENTIAL, I know plenty of women who think I’m the worst thing for asking, “how are you?” I look at myself in the mirror, I should go back to bed. “Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.”

Monday, July 27, 2020

Gospel 026 ~Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance~

Hundred And Forty-Seven Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but how many others can I name besides Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos? It feels good to get down to brass tacks once again because I finished my book this morning. I’ve said it before, and I’ll repeat it… a book that no one will ever discover. Hell, I even set it up for a trilogy. Possibly with that UK blonde, I was talking about last night and Reagan Kathryn. I’m one in a million men that want to well… I think I have written enough sex talk for a while, or have I? I’m kidding, hmm?

Only this afternoon, while I was contemplating going to the store, I saw a picture of Momokun. It was one of her lewdest, and I wanted to say something about her lips. Now, this brings me to my point today. If I had said something like that, she would have blocked me, deleted me, something. How many messages, though, do you think she gets like that? You know one of my favorite tunes is The Man by Aloe Blacc. I’m not anyone exceptional, Madam Justice, and I know this goes against all my motivations, but I’m nobody. You know I’m always saying I want to be a better man, but most people see me is either the ant or the monster. I’m either not worth looking at. A sign of things to come, or I’m the worst thing to happen.

So I get used to being nothing, I accept it. Then it’s like I tell a girl she’s pretty and wham, bam, damn. Don’t get me wrong I know I’ve gone overboard with many a girl, I take responsibility. Look at something like OnlyFans, though. I’m again a number in the heard if I ignore a girl, so what. If I give them attention, I’m usually paying for it. You peek at any of my social accounts, and I am a pervert extraordinaire. Then again, who is paying attention to me? I go back and forth even here, Madam Justice. I can’t tell you everything because the moment that I do as the song goes, sigh, I’m a Bad Man.

Where’s the middle ground ever? How can I be someone who exists without being someone everybody will hate or fear? It’s easier to be nobody. So why am I writing?

Such are delusions of grandeur… Don’t Underestimate Your Own Insignificance.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

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I wish people would make up their minds. Either I never talk, I talk too much, and what was I crying about a couple weeks ago, another block, getting deleted, etc. Not to mention, my words are all over the place. “Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.”

Monday, July 20, 2020

Gospel 019 ~Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind~

Hundred And Forty-Six Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I wonder does anyone with so much money live by this rule. For the record, this comes from a grander law. I read once about the things that come out of your mouth. As you can see or hear, most days, I prescribe to the language of the Men In Black.

“Silence your native tongue” MIB

“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” – A Few Good Men

Let’s start with the truth. Every conversation we have here is about the non-fiction. Of course, there are things I don’t say and stuff I cannot show. Hell Madam Justice, this is a confession more for Inspector Echo, but let me tell you. I’ve been in juvenile detention once upon a time. Never been to jail as an adult, but I’m like Tom DuBois. I mean, I have no intention of ever seeing a “real” prison because of what I’ve been taught goes on there. People can’t handle my truth, and at times I can’t either. I will instead be silent than utter a lie. Now I do lie but again like Tom, only to save my ass at times. Madam Justice, I spend far too much time adhering to what others think of me; to fight it all though?

“I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.” Scarface

It’s not necessary. I say way too much in the form of making conversation. Remember, when I told everyone that my Grandfather caught the Coronavirus (COVID-19). Did I talk about my little sister being in quarantine too? It was accurate, and people do need to know, judging by the state of the country. Now, what about anything to do with Yabbos or my penis. Both necessary in my life but not in anybody else’s, so what’s left for me? I can talk about my Dæmon. Yep, when everyone’s having babies.

Kindness though? I don’t think I ever wrote this rule down, but it goes like so. Do You: Harm No One. Of course, I see exceptions to that rule as with most. I don’t like to hurt anyone outside of BDSM play or even vanilla. Now that’s too much information, I know Madam Justice. It’s like looking up Cindy Aurum, and next thing you know, she’s in my erotica or porn, I guess. What if I did live by today’s rule? I surely would be a monk, but would I have peace. Well, along with honesty, necessity, and kindness, yes, peace but speaking it? I don’t know how Madam Justice. Three Gates, True, Necessary, Kind.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

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If I could write something, like American Beauty or if I had billions of dollars. What about if I catered to the religious, who speak of hated and have holy books full of sex, and hell, it doesn’t make sense to me. Difference Between Sense And Censor

Monday, July 13, 2020

Gospel 012 ~Difference Between Sense And Censor~

Hundred And Forty-Five Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means everyone wants a piece of me, in my wildest dreams. I can imagine someone going over these conversations with a fine-tooth comb. Have I gone too far in a “few” places? I have often enough, though you may have noticed changes here or there. Didn’t I, at one point, just say boobs, breasts, or even dirty mom tits? Thank you, MILF Dos. Now I say “Yabbos” mainly because of Thora Birch and Mena Suvari, which brings me to my point. American Beauty is a good movie… Hol’ Up A Minute?

Okay, there are three ways I want to come at this. First, as I was saying in American Beauty Jane Burnham and Angela Hayes. Thora and Mena, respectively. They play high school girls and Lester Burnham pervs on Angela. Meanwhile, Ricky Fitts gets to film Jane’s Yabbos, which she shows off. Now I can say I like this movie and that makes sense. Now what I’m feeling right this second, that’s me censoring myself. I won’t finish my thoughts, Madam Justice, because what? Am I ashamed, what about what the world teaches, having good sense?

“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
― by William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

That brings me to my big sister. I’ve quoted this often enough that she said, you can’t build a strip club next to a school. I’ve heard killers speak about “no women, no kids.” Madam Justice, you know how I want to live my life. I don’t hide it from anybody. At the end of the day, somehow, I want to become a pornographer. As Dennis Hof did, I want to own brothels. Hell, one day, I want a modeling agency. All of this starts with my writing, though. I want to write everything from something like Wanderlust. To Sex Zombies, Begging For It, Lolita.

There’s that twinge again. Why is it that it makes so much sense to me to stay small? Okay, this is the third thing; I censor everything I am in the name of good taste. I abhor liars Madam Justice which explains why I hate myself, but it’s a lose-lose situation. If I tell the truth, I get blocked. If I lie, I’m in a box because the real me is dead. I know enough to play it safe, but as the song goes AHEM, why can’t I be me.

He doesn’t make sense but Difference Between Sense And Censor.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 007 ~Will Makes It Click~

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The first conversation with Inspector Echo of the new year and already I require confession. Well, at least I’m not stealing. I was going to pay Liz Vicious, Cherry, and someone else, but Yabbos are everywhere. Will Makes It Click.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Gospel 007 ~Will Makes It Click~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I should own a piece of fine art. My apologies that I still don’t. I mean like any normal heterosexual “teenage” male (What’s My Age Again?). Anyway, I have posters of girls in lingerie. I have a piece from Tony Taka of some Asian beauty with saké. For years I have loved the painting of Fuu, Backwards Beauty from Samurai Champloo. I spoke, of course, about the Tifa Lockhart photo in her Mature Dress. My point is I appreciate the female form, there is nothing more beautiful Inspector Echo.

I’m going Day Nine of NO FAP, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come to breaking. I swear Inspector Echo, I’m trying. If anything, I’m guilty of lying to NaNoWriMo to the tune of two hundred plus words. Hell, I haven’t been working on my novel. This is Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse, but it is also a sin, thus in need of some confession. The next chapter is called “The Aviary, Angel, And Ass,” and it’s Cherry’s sexual past with Father Bridgman. Most nights, I get too damn horny to write, and since I’m trying to avoid MILF Dos and Cherry (snickers). I usually dive into Tifa Lockhart, Aerith Gainsborough, and recently Jessie Rasberry. One more woman I can blame for my downfall or uplifting into the world of the arts. Don’t I like most erotic writers… women?

People don’t whip it out at the Mona Lisa, do they? Yes, Inspector Echo, I’m still keeping my pants on. Now I could become obsessed like I was with Sean Weathers for a time. The movies he was making while cheaply done were something to see. Artists I have discovered:

  1. Nagoonimation
  2. Niisath (Jill Valentine)
  3. JARED999D (Wild Suzi’s Uncontrollable Lust)
  4. Sciamano240 (20.06 PACK)
  5. Fluff Pokémon (Patreon)

Also, some others share videos on several “dubious” sites and, of course, as the song goes AHEM… Girls, Girls, Girls. Do I need to look up the definition of ART? I’m no art connoisseur. As I said, I still have the posters, but my walls are bare here. I will support almost any cause if you put a pair of puppies in front of it if you know what I mean.

I apologize that my fingers are busy, as Shelby (Girlfriend Reviews) says, “Beeping and Booping.” I’m Dee, Dee, Dee, for Yabbos. Will Makes It Click.

I Will Have No Fear