Tag: Love

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

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I’m still looking at the man in the mirror and seeing how anxiety has warped me to several degrees; I can only imagine the smile I could wear on my face, like when I saw my friend in love and happy. Can’t Hurry Love Will

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

Log 113 ~Can’t Hurry Love Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s not enough love? Now I don’t want to be my father. I’ve said before; love is not a prize. It’s not a timestamp. Love doesn’t come with a price tag. It scares me; sometimes, I don’t know how to love you enough. You’re scared that I don’t love myself. I have my rules 4 & 5 talking about hate keeping you alive. The next, love is worth dying for, which I understand. You know my past, for want, lack, ability love has nearly ended me plenty. I’m still standing.

Brandy sang almost doesn’t count, the song goes. I’m always in music, aren’t I? Funny, I can hear everything, and yet when you say it, baby girl? My “former” boss would say, in one ear and out the other. It’s a disease this thing called love, and I know how dangerous it can be; that’s from a song and movie. I should focus more on myself, though. You know, to me, that sounds selfish. I say it often though, I share it with you, and I’m also pretty shallow. Should I apologize, shall I compare thee to a summer’s day, should I share more. All of the above is why it took me so long to find you. Twenty seconds of insane courage is nothing. I’m still bragging about the 1500 miles I traveled for a friend. In a drawer, I have bills for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for my Firstborn. Now didn’t I say, love is not a price tag baby doll?

No, love is those moments I head out the door, and I call to him. Not “I love you” or “make good decisions.” I’m like the Terminator “I’ll Be Back,” and I spend every waking moment focused on doing that only. Again and I can’t say it enough, every Saturday I lie here with you for a few hours, and listen to the world end. My nuclear pop music, some TWD gaming, Youtube reactions; you are my Heaven. So what about the other six days: I build the life I love, but I want to share it with you always. I might have spoken to you about my “former” job when I stood up for myself nearly “fighting.” I loved myself regardless of anyone else.

Love’s distance; the bed to mirror; Can’t Hurry Love Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 108 ~When Will, Will Come~

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Well, I certainly have been putting my car through its paces, and I have been moving pretty fast in that regard, but today, and tonight for that matter as Romeo put it sad hours seem long, but he was talking about a woman. “When Will, Will Come”

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Log 108 ~When Will, Will Come~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now, but it can’t patch the hole in my heart. Speaking of patching holes SIGH, you’ll have to excuse me for not feeling sexier this evening. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind a woman asking me that question, when will I come. Wait, don’t I have a woman asking me that question? Well, she’s spoken for or will be in a couple of days. The thing is, though, what I did today was harder than yesterday. Wednesday scared the crap out of me, but today it only hurts.

I’m talking about my heart for once and not a case of Blue Balls. Hell, Dennis Hof was loving so many women but loved his dog Domino more than any of them. Half a million for a dog, and my Firstborn has two bottles of meds. He also has five packs of food and his favorite toy. Right now, as the song goes, “And everyday I wake up, with a naked lady” but right now, yeah, I’m soft. A single father with only my little boy, I do remember a time I was a hopeless romantic. You know I’m a true believer in the living dead? Count Jesus, and you might consider me a Christian. When’s the last time I’ve been in a church anyway. Let’s not talk about some of the fantasies I once imagined. Did I say that on a Thursday, this is all about fucking sexual ideology? I don’t even watch my language today; it’s my day.

In truth, I’ll be glad when it’s all over. Indiana Gone “The Bride” was telling me about the work she was doing. I said weddings are work, but they should be fun. Imagine what a wreck I’ll be when I meet some girl. She’s out there, somewhere. Indiana Gone asked when she’ll attend my wedding, and I said, “when the dead walk the earth.” Yeah, I’ll meet my Maggie, my Enid, the dream is Alicia. Such names would usually get me hard. If I wanted to come, I could think of a million different reasons. The only coming I’m doing, though, is a wedding, a dog hotel, and all the fears that await me tomorrow morning. You could tell me I could fuck any woman, but I would only want to get back to here.

Now I’m sitting alone, others asking, When Will. Will Come?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

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Yes another long nap today and then a fashion shoot courtesy of Amazon shopping and getting some hoots and hollers from the ladies, which was a bit of fun, still I’m looking for what all the fuss was about in the mirror. Looking For Mr. Will now

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Log 106 ~Looking For Mr. Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but love is a gift. Well, love is plenty of things, to be honest. You know I’m one for music, but I will say that Aloe Blacc’s song “Wake Me Up” annoys me a bit. Not that I’m so tired at this point but more the lyrical content. “Love is the prize” for some reason I don’t agree. When I first met my Firstborn and yeah “our” firstborn, it was love at first sight. I saw this little ball of fluff held by a monster without a trace of fear. Strange that you didn’t think much of me either with our first, and I love you.

Is it me being a fan of Creed, that I could understand. Still, when I saw our child, I found myself thinking, “With Arms Wide Open.” You know, “I hope he’s not like me; I hope he understands.” I don’t only mean in the looks department, we’ve been down that road before. Someone once said that the more they try to understand women, the less they know. Even with all my business dealings, I share the sentiment. A great man said don’t try because women understand women and they hate each other. You know I love women; well you most of all and my girls. My Firstborn’s wife, I’m still hoping for puppies someday. Anyway to be the man that has all of this; I don’t know, I’m not seeing him in the mirror now.

One woman called me suave. Don’t get jealous, my love. All the songs are going to get me in trouble one day. Jay-Z said males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait. Still surprises me when you get that way. Yeah, I should probably stop talking now. I should be more like Akon; when I was listening to “Never Gonna Get It. Here I am busy modeling, and you know I’m one for hoodies and NaNoWriMo t-shirts. Getting ready for Indiana Gone’s wedding, and I have to get all suave. Beats a few other choice words I could think of this evening. No matter the bank account, though, I’m still going to be the guy in jeans and a hoody. Forever and always I’ll be yours. You know anything though I want to see that guy staring back SIGH someday.

Mr. Will will see you now, Looking For Mr. Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 101 ~Willing To Get Moving~

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Here in my car I feel; well if I stick with my motivations I should say grateful that I was able to pay for it, but why do I need a car, so I can work, make money, and spend that money on, hell more work one day. Willing To Get Moving.

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Log 101 ~Willing To Get Moving~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
I AM a Billionaire right now and crying over 570 bucks. Well okay not sobbing and a little over. If I am going to pay that much, I wish it was not over the car. How else then would I pursue sex. The fact of the matter is every move we make is either going after that. The results of “doing it” don’t I feel like an old man now? Dirty Diana there is also the justification of sex. You know I’ve never paid for sex; not that I’m not willing to understandably. The sadder fact is I have paid for the illusion of such plenty.

Hell, I remember years ago I thought $300 was enough and then I had to fix the car. Here’s a confession, I’ve never had sex in a car. Yeah Dirty Diana, porno lies and also sexy Rom-coms. Take for example the 2009 movie, Public Sex aka “Dogging A Love Story.” To this day I’m still upset about that mom in the Walmart parking lot. The closest my life has ever gotten to being an adult film. Then again I know some actual working girls but yeah where did all my money go this afternoon. After that missed opportunity I was researching “Lot Lizards” for days. Let’s say my Xvideos list got pretty specific. My “Street Blowjobs” list grew. The thing is I wasn’t going anywhere fast. Now I’m thinking about “Indiana Gone’s Wedding” and finding some “strange wool” in a new place, call me adventurous.

Can you call me old too? Two things, one “strange wool” is out of that movie The Warriors. The second is I’m one for the shaved look, if anything. Here’s some more truth for you though, all-girls cost money. Today I read something about calling women girls and the culture surrounding it to be sure. One more thing I’m stuck in, girls, chicks, and you know I can say so much worse. I know this doesn’t sound so sexy today, but dollar bills turn me on as much as women. Maitland Ward is still lighting the porno industry on fire. Of course I’m trying to make sure my car doesn’t catch fire ever. Yeah, so let me burn my cash and keep moving forward, here in my car. So where am I going anyway, Dirty Diana? Well, work and bed but Willing To Get Moving.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

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Well, it wasn’t laziness today, but crippling anxiety and exhaustion; people don’t understand how tiring stupidity can be, and I mean theirs for once, because I wasn’t a minstrel today. Still, I need a fan or two, more; “Will Of Your Life.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Log 099 ~Will Of Your Life~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now but still greedy. What can I say, I want, I need, I love? Am I one of those that can only focus on me, My Love. Once upon a time I had myself a Christian phase. You know, in such faith, God never gets enough love. Now I could never find him, but when I woke up from my comatose nap, you know who I looked up suddenly? Lawrence Welk; I have no clue who that is still. Anyway, back to my phase, I have memories of a song saying something like this, order my steps.

My mother would tell me I would find my way. I would have preferred if she told me to be a Simple Kind Of Man. Yes, you remember when I danced with her at our wedding. There’re several things I want to tell her, but I can’t. You above everyone else should know there are so many things I need to say. You married a writer, a director, and a dreamer. I did a bit too much dreaming this afternoon, but at least it’s not the old day job anymore. Again I need to be a better man than that. I look in the mirror and know I must Carry On My Wayward Son. What can I say? I love being a fanboy of certain things. I love my Firstborn and all of our kids. Even though life is “perfect,” now I still enjoy a good apocalypse and a decent ending. Always know that I love you so much, babydoll.

The point is, when will I be a fan of myself? I don’t know Lawrence Welk, but for some reason I looked him up today. I fell asleep, but I knew my Firstborn would be here and you, of course, but I still ask why. I’m not Dennis Hof (I want to be bigger, though). Christian Grey, I am not close, but that’s years of erotic reading talking. I want to be as comfortable on bookshelves as I am in “Novelty” stores. Still I want to be no I’ll Be the greatest fan of your life. Okay I should turn the music off, but yeah, that was Lawrence Welk’s thing. Mine would be loving you because somehow I found you one day, but were you waiting, or were you searching?

Loving you knew, I was the Will Of Your Life.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

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The things that women do, hell Dennis Hof never had it easy with his business, and neither did his girls but where they found they found themselves, surprise, surprise, but what about myself? Willing To Be Surprised

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Log 094 ~Willing To Be Surprised~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, surprise, surprise. There was a time in my life when I wanted to be surprised on The Day. Yes, it’s October now, as the song goes, wake me up, when September ends. Well, you want to know what woke me up this morning? Of course, after my Firstborn’s walk and a promise of lunch. Maitland Ward, you know “Rachel” from Boy Meets World is getting naked or has according to my research. She’s doing a feature called “Drive” directed by Kayden Cross. Yes, I saw her naked too, yep porn.

One more reason I adore women, and yeah, I’m frightened somewhat. Now before you go calling me a punk, “I am not a coward,” thank you, Dale Gribble, or was that After Earth? Anyway even the great Dennis Hof said:

“To me, a woman is a goddess, and I can’t live in a godless world.”

Now I will never be a man of the “normal” faiths, but THEY talk about loving God and serving. Despite this, THEY still show surprise at “Acts of God.” So it is with women and me or even my taste. I don’t understand somethings women do, not that it’s bad. To this day I still remember when I talked MILF Dos into getting naked for me, wow. I haven’t spoken to “Okay” in ages, but she showed me a nude picture with no prompting. I could go on; the whole men and women can’t be friends theory I still hold.

Everybody remembers The Frappening. Dirty Diana, I still want to fuck Jennifer Lawrence. Another surprise this morning; what the fuck happened to Chloë Grace Moretz’s hair? The big question I should be asking is about myself? After a release, and no, I’m not getting back on Brainbuddy, I dwell on my path. Nothing has changed Dirty Diana; I’m still looking for models. One day I will own those brothels, strip club, studios, etc. Only once upon a time I was a guy merely writing poetry. I got more than enough for a lot more 100 poem compilations. What women will inspire my next erotic novel; NaNoWriMo is coming up in November. How can I be exhausted and full of energy at the same damn time?

I don’t get tired of women ever. Wasn’t I talking about being sick a day or so ago? My sex drive is too damn high, but that’s not a bad thing. Well, unless I’m talking to you, downloading TeenStarlet. Even now thinking about that “Kayden Kross Fucks In The Bathroom” scene. Oh yeah and Maitland Ward’s videos. I found Teen Topanga back in the day, of course not the actual actress but a good lookalike. Speaking of which I could go into parodies, cosplay, and everything in between, but I’m running late as is right. For once though it’s food. Only I still keep money in my wallet like the guy in “Street Blowjobs” Women SIGH Willing To Be Surprised.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

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Last week I talked about my work or the job I want, but still, a man needs some downtime like today where I curled up in the covers and slept the rest of the day away; no I’m not sick but lazy? “Women Worry Waking Will” and my kid

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Log 092 ~Women Worry Waking Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but mostly because I want to sleep. Don’t get me wrong; I won’t say you didn’t have something to do with the bedding selection. Next to a wedding ring, a bed should be something you know about who you spend your life with My Love. You can ask my Firstborn and his never-ending quest for comfy spots. A great man once said “What’s the point getting into bed alone?” Why all the bed talk; has today been so tiring? Yeah, a bit and I’m still hiding under the covers for now.

I could tell you all about waiting for my dream girl. The circle is now complete ha. Still, isn’t it ironic as the song goes, you’re the reason I want to wake up? At the same time, what you do for love can be exhausting. Here I am worried about beds when I should also invest in alarm clocks. At present, I have five still because I don’t want to waste a single second. Okay granted what about days like this like momma said? I promise it wasn’t even music today but audiobooks. You, my Firstborn, our other children, are the only ones I don’t mind breaking me out of my revelry. I say it all the time on Saturday I could just lay here with you and just forget the world. Nah, we’ll still be here together listening to Nuclear Pop. The thing is though Audible isn’t as bad as I thought, just saying.

Yeah, saying or doing anything from my nice warm bed. Besides the obvious when I look at you. My work, my woman, and my wee little puppy man. Now I can go Disney’s Aladdin and show you the world. There are days I need to be right here, lost in YouTube and movies. I don’t think I’ve eaten much today, but I’m not sick. Some part of me wants to say you don’t have to worry. However I kind of like it, and I’m not one to come down with the flu. Would you mind one more song, My Love:

“there’s nothing I can do
I only wanna be with you.”
Only Wanna Be With You, Hootie & The Blowfish

Yes, the best part of staying in bed, my world is here SIGH. So is Twilight and The Handmaid’s Tale. Sometimes Women Worry Waking Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

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These days you have to get everything in writing and on video, but still being a black man in America, hell a man like me, somethings, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and how I try. Will’s Gift Of Gag.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Log 087 ~Wil’s Gift Of Gag~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but should I be spreading that around? Well, I got my first model interview and how long did it take me to tell her that? What about my first model period; as the song goes “I’m begging.” Hell when I first met “Indiana Gone” I took her to a place where you can’t talk. Relax Dirty Diana, it was too the movies and speaking of which, what have I been watching these days; um research?

Yeah, I still have MILF Dos’s videos, and the greatest thing ever is hearing her moan my name. Next to that would be all the messages my Gig has received. Of course as I said, only one of those has panned out. I talked to a would-be scammer for a while remember. Three promising women have yet to get back to me at all. Me and my big mouth doesn’t go with any job nowadays. I’m still a big believer in Co-Ed Confidential’s James when he said “vote with your crotch.” All the more I understand why I do what I sometimes do? If I wasn’t on NO FAP would I still feel the same way? Like Dennis Hof, most men nut and go to sleep. He went looking for the next party. Sex keeps most of us awake right? In those hours though I instead not be talking Diana.

Again while I praise voices raised in ecstasy, you know how I value silence. Take, for example, that girl in Black Widow Vol. 2. Now that was a neat little mouth toy they gave her when she was theirs. You know it could be my fear of saying something well; STUPID. I still hate that word but what do I have to offer; idiocy makes beauty downright atrocious. Am I not down to fuck an idiot? I believe Carlos Mencia said, “if you are a D, please don’t marry a D.” Not that I’m going that far, Dirty Diana. Why don’t I be the man who likes blowjobs? Could it explain the appeal of a songstress? I still have that fantasy of a woman with her panties in her mouth. How about this, do I fear rejection so much? MILF Dos took an excellent opportunity; this model gets an interview.

I should talk to someone, don’t you think Dirty Diana? Only Will’s Gift Of Gag.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

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I refuse to have a woman that doesn’t know what I do, this isn’t Lord Of War; of all the “Sin Stocks” I’ve studied, weapons don’t sit well with me “says the man that wants an armory” I got a crazy little thing called love. Woman’s Will Is Complicated

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Log 085 ~Woman’s Will Is Complicated~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but not Toby from roots. Well, you know I agree with him on the “I’m never going to be a Christian man.” I’m a writer My Love, I don’t bow to gods, I create them. At the same time, I’m one for the Ghetto Gospel of Tupac. So many men to listen to, is it any wonder I chose my business. Eric Thomas says that what he does, you can’t go to school and get that. My teachers as I say often enough, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner have passed. Larry Flynt was shot when he started. Others have been arrested or scare me in some ways.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
Tupac Shakur Ghetto Gospel

Now usually I don’t like to talk about my business dealings. Yeah, I know I don’t like to talk period. Hell, I want to know what makes my Firstborn happy. I never want my kids to fear me as I do my father. Asking for your father’s blessing? SIGH, because asking his permission, wait, aren’t I a traditionalist? If I asked my father for life, well after I arrive, it would be something like Independence Day. My mother, on the other hand, she wouldn’t approve of my path at all. The thing is she would never stop me either. At least I hope so, as the song goes, be a simple kind of man. If I may play you another “I wanna know what turns you on.” Okay you know how I am with my music, how about a joke? Eve was the first woman to decide what she wanted to eat… look how that turned out. Okay, I tried.

My lifestyle is listening to women, but my life is listening to you. I want to lead my family, but like everything else, I’ll admit, I have no idea what I’m doing. Like I tell my friends all the time, I don’t want to be STUPID, and I definitely don’t want to look that way. So I refer everyone to Washington, Lincoln, Franklin. I watch some other creators. Only as my motivations would say, the power lies in taking responsibility. I do, isn’t that what I told everybody, and if you think I talk about our wedding too much? Hell, again, my business of creating what I desire and let’s say the law of attraction.

Only do you love me always, Woman’s Will Is Complicated.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 080 ~Will Needs Role Models~

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As the song goes, I Need A Hero, well maybe not a hero but a teacher, a guru, hell I’m dominant in the bedroom, but daily life is quite vexing. To think they called Daria the “Misery Chick.” “Will Needs Role Models”

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Log 080 ~Will Needs Role Models~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but if I listened to Dennis Hof, I’d have more. If I got around to rereading his book and I am trying. I’m not discouraged today, well today of all days, Thursday should be the best. Hell, why not every day, according to my many motivations. The voices in my head Dirty Diana and for once I mean my headphones. I could use their success but nowhere near their path. We need, no I need, my heroes where are they?

I’m starting from the top, Dennis Hof. A man who went from owning gas stations to brothels and he was a Republican politician. I couldn’t tell you a thing about his policies but from pennies to pussy. I’m lazy only lying here, but he didn’t go to bed without a naked lady or his dog Domino. Speaking of going to bed alone, I still wonder how “he” spent his nights. A modeling director I’ve mentioned before, but you know I go through such and such moments. Sometimes I’m proud and others, scared to utter a fucking word. Not Sean Weathers though. Now I’ve never seen one of his films all the way through. The thing is he created such movies at all. Someone said he only wanted to get laid but can you blame him?

Well, I blame my modeling guru, that’s how I found out about Kaelin. I’m a big fan of hers and her “sisters” Kelsey and Kandace. I found out though that Kaelin passed away recently. So, of course, they removed her image from their archive. The girl I can’t have makes me want her even more. It makes me question why I can’t have a typical role model. Yes, like celebrities, but I was thinking more like at the Day Job. Some girl died, and I couldn’t tell you who she was to save my life. A naughty nymph dies, and I scour the internet. No, my “father” was never my hero, but he takes care of his family, moneywise. I’ve hated nearly every boss I’ve had at the Day Job. My uncle, directed films but he also cheated on his wife; could I be better?

Relationships like Mr. Hof, proud to say my name, create like Mr. Weathers. I do want a family but so many lifestyles Dirty Diana, Wake Up, Will Needs Role Models.

I Will Have No Fear