Tag: Money

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

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I wrote a poem about RAGE once, but I think 28 Days Later, and the sequel said it so much the better than I ever could, but what I wouldn’t give for a beautiful apocalypse or how about the ability to utter NO. “Rage Can Kill, But Who?”

Monday, November 11, 2019

Log 133 ~Rage Can Kill, But Who~

Hundred And Tenth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and is this the way wrong rule for today? Hell, I’m tempted to say it’s the perfect rule for today, that, of course, disqualifies me from posting some places. Even at this moment in time, I’m mad as Hell, and I know I’m going to be exhausted in the morning. Not because I’m letting NaNoWriMo down, I kicked ass there (LANGUAGE). Would I do better to list all the things I’m not mad at tonight? My dæmon, how about my work ethic, and not you Madam Justice.

First and foremost, I hate my Day Job, with the heat from a thousand suns. You wonder why I’m not published yet because that work is burning all the pages. Do I talk about how the Truck can be overwhelming, or more to the point those damn people (LANGUAGE)? What about the shower this morning? The things I come up with, and it wasn’t like I was even remotely horny. No, I made a conscious decision. I swear that scene from a particular anime movie I won’t name. Yeah, people already think I’m a psycho or worse. Cherry might like it, though. Speaking of which, FEAR, Madam Justice. I can’t talk to specific people because of such terror. I didn’t say what needed to be said at work today. NaNoWriMo is being held up because of the FEAR of losing my position, and you know I need the money now.

I can quote Yoda, you know, fear, anger, hate, suffering, but who am I hurting? You see what time it is, but I’m still up because I’m a man of my word. Okay, so I’m a clown now too because I can’t that with a straight face. Can I tell you all the stuff I wanted to say to my boss; how many times would I have to call myself out on language. Don’t even get me started on other employees. I want the world to go away, but again I’m not crazy or suicidal. Well, if I keep having nights like this, I won’t have to worry about it. I’ll drop dead. So I can’t indulge in my self-help phase. I haven’t gotten to play Far Cry 5 or Fallout 4 any and what about the state of the real country, no politics today. It’s Veterans Day; I’m Grateful.

Rage Can Kill But Who?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 126 ~Pillows Are Stronger Than Most~

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Up against the wall mother, well no, back against the pillow, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon unless I get hungry enough, and right now it’s my stomach versus my head; try harder fridge. “Pillows Are Stronger Than Most”

Monday, November 4, 2019

Log 126 ~Pillows Are Stronger Than Most~

Hundred And Ninth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but wiser words? Today’s rule is the perfect example because I had such plans for this afternoon. Like something out of 500 Days of Summer, the Expectations versus Reality scene. In that world, this conversation has come and gone, and I’m working on The “Wrist” Of Playing Chronos. I was even all fired up because of my Motivations. Madam Justice, to be honest, the Day Job is getting worse, but I was working pretty damn hard (LANGUAGE). Only I come back to the house and oh pillows.

I believe when I wrote Rule 109, I meant it more as a state of sadness. Considering what was on my mind in the shower, I would have every right to be Madam. Hell, cut me some slack. I didn’t even get three hours of uninterrupted shut-eye. Now, of course, I wish I could say it was worth it, the sacrifice. How’s NaNoWriMo going this month? Well, am I going to hit today’s goal before the end of tonight? What about the STUPID idea? (Shudders) About using a different letter of the alphabet for each chapter? Here take a look:

Chapter I Buttons, All Shapes and Sizes B
Chapter II Tight Type Of Time Management T
Chapter III Hands Across An American Girl H
Chapter IV Put Your Clothes On Chronos C
Chapter V Gears Looking At You Kid G

Whose Line Is It Anyway, Things you can say about and to your pillow but not your girlfriend? I suck at improv Madam Justice. Speaking of the things that I miss watching “His Dark Materials.” You know I barely watch wrestling as is, but I’m going to use that as an excuse to quit writing.

Madam Justice, I’m supposed to be writing about pillows right. Well, this is more Inspector’s Justice’s and Dirty Diana’s thing, but do you know what I once did with pillows? Did I throw away all that porn, hmm? Okay, let’s stay positive; pillows have held me up more than most people and are more readily available. My little dæmon, of course, is always on a quest for more comfy spots. You would think due to my constant naps; I would take better care shopping for pillows. My therapist, my temptations, and the better part of most days considering this moment?

People, Madam Justice, well no. What about my dreams, nightmares Pillows Are Stronger Than Most.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 119 ~Happiness Is Just Being Yourself~

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Am I happy today, this second, nope, but I’m still glad; I’m finishing up today, there is food in the freezer, my kid is resting, TWD reactions are badass, and I’m not all horny, the thing is I believe. Happiness Is Just Being Yourself

Monday, October 28, 2019

Log 119 ~Happiness Is Just Being Yourself~

Hundred And Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but does that make me happy? Sometimes I like to think I’m different from other guys, and then I talk to Cherry or MILF Dos. How many mornings has it been where I’ll say I’ll do better? Well, it’s 5:00 PM, and I’m not reading but talking to you. I don’t mean that as an offense, but I should be elsewhere. Hell, I never thought I would make it this far. I hate that it bears repeating, but I’m not suicidal. Today’s lyrics would be, “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad,” true.

Take, for example, last night, SIGH; I broke my NO FAP rule. Call me crazy, anything but happy, but a woman saying, “I want you to feel me cum on your dick” (LANGUAGE). I know today isn’t Thursday, but that was my unfurling. Sometime this afternoon, I was talking to Cherry about old journals. You remember I wrote some hateful stuff once upon a time and got arrested, Juvenile Detention. Of course, the porno, which is the last journal I showed her, didn’t do me any favors. I might as well be like those guys that send “penis portraits.” I remember what I would write to the Basic Bitch “Skeevy” and even when I tried to be kind like to the Rainbow Girl. The cops have a point; I have the right to remain silent or not considering the company.

There is a song that says, “happiness is a warm gun” let’s not go down that road, though. Sex makes me happy, no doubt. You want me to be happy myself, books, brothels, and bucks. The only three B’s more vital to me belong to my Firstborn. How many times do I need to say it, I want to live the life of Dennis Hof. I could go through quite a few names, but wouldn’t they all be sex icons? My motivations though talk often enough of being happy this very moment. I would be satisfied if I weren’t checking my phone every second of the day. Now didn’t that start in September, perhaps? The thing is, worrying, obsessing, fearing, is all I am. So if these things don’t make me happy, then I don’t like myself wouldn’t you say?

I am trying like hell though Madam Justice, to be a man worthy of happiness. Happiness Is Just Being Yourself.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 112 ~Judge No One Improve Yourself~

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A great man once said, if they want to crucify me I have the hammer and the nails, and me being a Scrooge and everything I don’t share, so I try not to hurt others but only myself yet I could myself a sadist ha. “Judge No One Improve Yourself,” I try

Monday, October 21, 2019

Log 112 ~Judge No One Improve Yourself~

Hundred And Seventh Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and other than exhaustion, I’ve semi-recovered. My sides have quit hurting, and my foot feels fine. Best news of all, my Firstborn is home where he belongs. I use the term HOME loosely. Where the heart is as “THEY” say, and I love my son like pancakes. Now pancakes sound pretty delicious even at 3:40 PM. I could use some real food, but of course, I’ve slept the day away. Okay, so that brings me to my point, which is an improvement in my sleeping, if anything.

The house is still a mess, and my inbox keeps piling up. If I were listening to Dale Carnegie, I would remember dealing with one thing at a time. I like you, Madam Justice, but I’m only now getting up to talk at all. I am listening to my kid more, but does that make me a better father? If anything, it is FEAR that makes me want to do anything to be better in any aspect of my life. Still, as the song goes, madness takes its toll. What about this morning. Why didn’t I take the highway this morning? Driving with my son in tow is dangerous enough. I don’t want to go back to the man I was Madam Justice. Last week was a plethora of self-improvement, mixed with possible death. You know I always want to become more than what I am; there’s no choice even.

Now, as for judging other people, I don’t. Yeah, I know what you’re saying, women. I like what I like, and I don’t hate looks. Yes, hate is wrong regardless, but people’s actions dictate that type of response. I was watching TWD last night, so take Negan, for example. Saved Judith, Dog, and Arron, but brutally murdered two people, more, and ignited a war. It almost resulted in a genocide. Negan must be held accountable for his crimes, but he can become better than his yesterdays. It’s the same as me in a way though I’ve never committed 90% of the sins people accuse and speak of Justice. No wonder I dream of becoming so great to make up for well everything. I am my own worst enemy Madam Justice.

I’m Scrooge, I’m selfish and shallow but remember Rule Thirteen? I won’t ask you not to judge, but for everyone, Judge No One Improve Yourself?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 105 ~Always Beware The Patient Woman~

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If a woman ever asked me to get to the point, in my best Akon voice, I’d break out with, “You already know I want to…” (Language) yeah I know, but women have a lot more patience than I. “Always Beware The Patient Woman” plenty of fish in the sea

Monday, October 14, 2019

Log 105 ~Always Beware The Patient Woman~

Hundred And Sixth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now though it took patience. Only that’s nothing compared to some woman out there waiting for me to come and find her one day. Does that make me sound somewhat creepy, stalkerish, and skeevy? I’ll end up blocked again? Hell, I had a funny thought at Chick-fil-A only this afternoon. You think my views on women are complicated; I’m confused about chicken places. Anyway, I got this idea that I only want to make a woman happy someday.

You remember, well, I can’t say her name either, but I sought God to be with her at one point. It’s the reason now I usually ignore holy roller women despite the sex appeal. I don’t have time to walk the line between Heaven and Hell. I’ve already made my decision, depending on your viewpoint. I think that’s where women get it wrong, believing a man can change. Dennis Hof would say something to the tune of, I gotta be me, two read-throughs, and the audiobook. He told women the truth, and I do as well; okay, let’s not talk about Pinterest. Sometimes it scares me to death and others it knows me too well. Still, I talk about running all over the place for a woman, married, about to be. One more giving her life to Christ SIGH. Could it be I’m only trying to find her sooner rather than later, dear Madam Justice?

I’ve said so many times I want to be someone worthy, and that never matters to women. Looking in the mirror this morning I still saw my messed up teeth and bloodshot eyes. You were waiting for me to come and talk to you this evening. I missed another model, or at least she’s not speaking to me, but I wasn’t so excited anyway. At some point this week I’ll have to face my mother. The Prodigal son, yeah what’s my age again, though my Alamo fund is nearly zero. One more woman doing anything to make her happy with my trip. Only What I wouldn’t give to have some pretty “Taylor Townsend” looking me up. Oh yeah, I’m making that so much harder thank you, Facebook. I’m hiding until I find the courage, coming out of my cage, ha.

I want her to come with me now. Well, okay enough music, don’t you think. Always Beware The Patient Woman.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

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Last week it was the idea of speaking at the Day Job, now I have to talk as the CEO of Second Circle Creations and as an author but as the song goes “Who gon’ pray for me?” Who’s The Boss Will, well I hate my managers, time to live the Dream Job

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Log 089 ~Who’s The Boss Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and I’ll be changing that come Sunday. One more thing in my pressing matters that I talked about yesterday. From being a slave to the Day Job. To stealing the plans for the Death Star, (my cash is in a Death Star). Then I am a friend to “Indiana Gone.” What about my Firstborn; now he is going to be pissed. All of that and now I have this moment. Well, minus the girl and getting up on time. Today though I don’t have time to lounge around for two hours.

Who’s the boss, well I did mention my Firstborn? He needed water, of course, so I stopped and got a bottle for myself. I cleaned his bathroom pad. In less than an hour he’ll be chomping at the bit for his walk. Parenthood but my child is the boss, and he knows of course. Okay in speaking of my dog what about the Basic Bitch (LANGUAGE)? I still hate to admit that I quit talking to you for so many years, Lady Luna. One girl calls me skeevy and here we are heading into the third year; what is the point? Hell, Porn has a point though I don’t have time for that right now either. Is it women or my penis that’s making the calls for me right now. I should say emails or texts, and there’s still time. Did I feel this way meeting Indiana Gone at first?

The Man In The Mirror is usually my Sunday gig. You know who I want to meet now though, The CEO of Second Circle Creations. He’s the man that writes the stories, picks the girls, directs the films, and God knows what else. Hell, I am not a man for prayer, but I could use some. I know plenty might say that about the men I look to as heroes. Lady Lu I’m not even getting that far right now, this is only a modeling job. Something I’m putting a lot of stake in and Tom Bilyeu would say the fear is right. It proves I care. Still a few parts of me wants to be the man that could win by words alone. Didn’t I say third year? I wish I could be like Katie O’Shaughnessy on YouTube. Now if I could do something beautiful and positive. My life, lust, Who’s The Boss Will?

I Will Have No Fear

Log 083 ~The Will To Judge~

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Some would call me a stalker, a scam artist, even skeevy, which is the second worse word but I would say I’m pretty much a shallow S.O.B no offense to my mother only look at what I want to do with my life. “The Will To Judge”

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Log 083 ~The Will To Judge~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and the Man in the Mirror. It’s a little too late for Michael Jackson quips. Not that you need any real reminder, but I’m not Martin Luther King Jr either. So are we done focusing on the men you would never be, how about the man you’re becoming? It took me about two days to get back to the table, but here you are, so you have me beat. Of course today is about who are you to judge but wasn’t that my last night, talking to that potential model, yeah right.

Still no temptations, and not counting it as porn but research. Sometime this week I talked about finding that Kaelin Monroe “Rieger” passed away. I downloaded two out of three Kagney Linn Karter scenes. Oh, where are you “Smack My Naughty Ass” ha. Last night though it was Carlie Jo Howell. So I’m talking to this person who replied to the ad, says her name is Christine Jane Olin. Do you remember when “The Basic Bitch” thought you were stalking her; SIGH. Anyway I was plenty suspicious when CJ’s pictures registered but don’t judge me, I’m a guy. Next the fraud had no FB or Twitter, Instagram, talked about Anxiety, now that pisses me off, that lie. Finally, when I confronted whoever I haven’t heard from the imposter since. Speaking of things I haven’t heard from, those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 034 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher
    Completed

Again we are back to two, and this doesn’t serve as an excuse, but I was learning. You have to press forward, reading about Dennis Hof. Hell, Carlie Jo runs Bikini Beans Espresso. MILF Dos has her fashion line set-up. The ideas are percolating for you. Let’s take Patreon for example, how my tiers work.

Nine Circles Of Hell

  1. Random Poems (Free)
  2. Five Poems From Current Work $1.00 Up
  3. Erotica Chapter $5.00
  4. Ahegao Cover Art $10.00
  5. Lewd Character Galleries $20.00
  6. Raunchy Readings, Pasties $30.00
  7. Nude Inspirations $50.00
  8. A Full Nude Gallery $60.00
  9. Character Movie Scenes $75.00

I know this is our time but when the ideas come, so do you usually. Still practicing NO FAP but there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
  6. I AM Finishing Again, The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money

Now, what could you do with let’s say an extra $100.00 a month? You don’t have anything for tiers 4 – 9 this second. Who you’ll be, The Will To Judge.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

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If I had to speak at the “Day Job” on the daily, it would be nothing more than obscenities; strangely enough, one job makes me want to drop those bombs, and another is only a colorful word. “Will Sell Those F-Bombs”

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Log 082 ~Will Sell Those F-Bombs~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, but I’m not exactly the best salesman on Earth. Yes, I’ve read a bit more of Dennis Hof’s book, my second reading. Now he was far from perfect, but he loved to? Anyway, I’m still trying to keep my mind off that particular F. The thing is my life revolves around three. FEAR, FAILURE, and FEMALES, the order changing depending on my mood. So how is that mood right now; I wish I could practice another F, forgetfulness to be honest.

Let’s focus on FAILURE, and how so, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Hell again with my motivations but shouldn’t I focus on gratitude. I’m grateful that I had the money to buy that file uploader. How about having the courage to forge down this path? It’s a mixed bag this, fake it till you make it approach. Of course, all the motivations say that you have to believe first and foremost. While I’m going off on phrasing, what about spending money to make it Lady Lu? In the book Think And Grow Rich or The Secret talked about you can’t control every thought but if you feel happy? Money and Friendship, I care for “Indiana Gone” but her wedding SIGH. I’m not experiencing the Fear but the expense of it all, being a man.

Rule 102 and 001, a man shouldn’t be afraid all of the time. FEAR is my constant and what gets me moving along. How much stuff did I have to get rid of only so I could add that upload form? What about the Craigslist Ad or even Facebook, afraid to be me and why?

Like Marcus put it “Bitches man” (LANGUAGE). Must I be so crass, I tell Cherry about language, there’s a time for it of course. Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I respect FEMALES. Nobody asks why I do what I do ever. I’ve said it before I’ve written for guys for their girls. The internet knows enrichment with porn. I’m not even going down that road at the moment, but yes, I like to add beauty to the world. Some like guns, some cars, and we all love a bit of money don’t we Lady Lu. Bullets, Booze, Bullion, and Babes, pick your poison. Like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War, I have to empty the plane and be a necessary evil. Will Sell Those F-Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 076 ~Will’s O’s, Ahegao’s, Zeros~

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Oh I missed something but with my eyes on so many things from this week to last; it beats going blind doing something else though my mother never gave me that speech, and right now I’m only looking at money. Will’s O’s, Ahegao’s, Zeros

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Log 076 ~Will’s O’s, Ahegao’s, Zeros~

To Will:
I AM a Millionaire right now, and this is fulfillment. At this moment, ever the time traveler (Saturday) as the song goes, I feel good. It’s nothing like doing work that you, dare I say, love. I was barely able to tear myself away, the Day Job blah; I’m Hooked On A Feeling.

Should we call it GASPS happiness? Okay before you get down on yourself, I want you to know I’m proud of you. Pride mixed with OH MY GOD what have I done. Now that’s what you feel as you edit, I suppose. Hell, my friend, I have left a lot of work for you. At the very least, let it keep you from making another type of O-Face. How I hope you’re waking up earlier than me, okay? Old yearnings are beginning to come back but still No Fapping. To get into an industry, you have to learn everything about what it entails; devil’s details. I’ve said it often enough last week, from lighting to salary, and fashion. You know that song from the Pet Shop Boys “Opportunities,” yeah even the prospect of money turns me on. Shouldn’t you be excited about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 027 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Not Getting Fired From The Day Job Now
    Completed
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher
    Failed

So now we’re back to two done, could be three I still have time to read later. You’re going to need it considering the Day Job but if Patreon works out? What about getting any models, I got another email today. Nothing has panned out so far. Don’t say, “oh, the usual.” Keep thinking about all those Ahegao faces somewhere waiting. You are having an impact, and I can only imagine some girl meeting you. It would be like CastingCouch-HD Chelsea only minus the porn. Pockets aren’t deep enough for that you know. If anything there’s “Indiana Gone’s” smiling face you need to think of now. Her wedding is coming up next month. How about Alice Little; doesn’t seem like your absence bothered her to be honest. Still, she needs an answer, and you need, surprise, surprise Six Impossible Things:

CastingCouch-HD Chelsea
  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 027 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” B III Deserves
  3. I AM Publishing My Poetry “GULP”
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Gaining One Patron Or One Model For Patreon
  6. I AM Finishing Unhinged By Nicole Cypher

As for things, I sooner not look at, The Day Job schedule and The Second Renaissance. What about my cash after keeping a few promises? For once though I want to see myself with joy. Haven’t met a Joy yet looking for models ha. The time will come, and you’re preparing for it right now. Yes, Will’s O’s, Ahegao’s, Zeros.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

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As the song goes Gotta Have The Money if you want to get the honey and that I have, well until October perhaps or the next pretty face; still makes me feel like a schoolboy but what’s my age again? “How Many Wills Later”

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Log 075 ~How Many Wills Later~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and it’s been one week since “The Day.” Well, that’s having faith that I will survive the rest of this day (Friday the 13th). Indiana Gone got me close to a machete for Christmas last year. Anyway, time to focus on one more revolution around the sun. Two weeks in and how close am I to that million? $10.00 down from this week and last. Still there’s life in me, haven’t even checked how long I’ve gone without Fapping. Oh and porn, only educational, or ripping off ExCoGi’s model pages right?

With all the writing I do, I’ve never written a will. I’m not suicidal but if there was a button to end it all right now? Yeah, I would press it by accident. I’ve announced I’m going to die over the years. There have been some attempts, but if I died today who would get all my stuff? Hell, how much am I offering models these days? Lady Lu that’s what nobody understands, that rush, adrenaline, motivation. Sex is one thing but when I got MILF Dos to take off her clothes. You know having that sort of power, I want more. It’s not like I’m going into photography anytime soon. How many times in one week have I told you about my studies? When I was back in school I never hungered for knowledge most days. History was my subject, and some science but they never teach you the fun stuff. The wrong word?

The things that make you proud that get you to say, I want to do that one day. I might not have the patience, which explains today. Once a week on Craigslist, posting would be $260.00. I paid more for my first model. Should math be my subject now? I hated that above all others. Didn’t stop me from wasting about an hour again, working on a model page. How many days has it been since I talked to Outskirts Press? As the song goes, “Cause I just wanna look good for you.” My novel and funny how they were barking until they got my money and now radio silence. Publishers along with the rest of the world since “The Day.” One more reason I call it that, the end of my existence Lady Lu. When anybody cares again I ask How Many Wills Later.

I Will Have No Fear