Tag: The End

Gospel 247 ~Thinking Outside The Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

Think outside the box. There was a time that I wanted to be a veterinarian. Don’t care for people, but I love dogs. Not the one in Duck Hunt. Braxton watched me play games, watch movies, but I never saw myself save him. “Thinking Outside The Braxton”

Friday, March 5, 2021

Gospel 247 ~Thinking Outside The Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so maybe I’ll buy the first machine that tells me what dogs think. What Braxton thinks

Like Father, Like Son, so that would be a waste of money. He likes to walk around the block. A black man with his Mexican kid. Now is there a more sensible way to say that? Well, as the song goes AHEM, “First let me explain I’m just a black man” okay, he’s a Chihuahua. My favorite place is in bed, and he was under it. I’ll hide under the covers from who knows what, and he hid underneath. No, I think I got the know. We don’t like people, Sophia. Dead people… When I would babysit him back when he belonged to my sister, he was a Disney fan. My sister hated what I would watch, but my “father” actually chewed her out. Surprise

She wasn’t training him, so for hours, I would watch for his bathroom time. You know TWD is back, so how was my first Sunday without him? Say it with me, Lady Sophia, “I cried.” One more thing I need to give up. Um, I’m trying chocolate, onion rings, breathing. How about some happiness? I still won’t say it, but the best of times was when Braxton was boxed in between Indiana Gone and I.

Movie Nights, and for a few hours, Braxton had a family. I was glad, and he was happy. If I could get out of my own head like my little boy. If he weren’t thinking about me, it’s “what’s in that cold box?” “Why are you in the water room?”

I should give B III way more credit. How many times have I asked why didn’t he like the car? Um, it never went well for him. The vet, the groomers, even if it was a new place to walk, we’d have to come home. “It’s too hot,” or “don’t leave me, Dad.” As always. But sitting on that bench when he was taken from me and was returned. I swear I’ve never thought of this house as a home. Happiness, home, have a heart, that was all my Braxton. A gift I saw wiggling one day in my father’s hands given to someone else. Braxton chose me, lived in this house, died in my arms. Now he’s in a box. Thinking Outside The Braxton.

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 240 ~Braxton FOUR One Hundred~

WillLeave a comment

“I love you,” “Can we go home,” “Everything will be alright, Braxton,” and still there weren’t enough words. No amount of money could save him. And if my father mentions getting a new dog one more time… Braxton FOUR One Hundred, Five, Nine.

Friday, February 25, 2021

Gospel 240 ~Braxton FOUR One Hundred~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so $100.00 shouldn’t really bother me. It was Braxton walking on three legs that certainly did.

Now that’s not where he got the “B III” from. That’s his name, Braxton Barks Bradford. I’ve said before that it was my mom who named him Braxton. It still hurts to talk about him like this. My Dæmon, my son, Little B. And again my sadness and rage. What about purpose? I keep breathing, Lady Sophia. Braxton’s purpose was to BARK. Of all the things I absorb, it was his barking that was my joy as much as I took it for granted. Sometimes grated on my nerves or would go overboard. It showed he cared, loved, protected, “Dad.” Braxton had his own way of saying it. He was another Mr. Bradford. But most days, it was B or B III, Triple B too.

Such time is priceless but to check out a bum leg is about $100.00. I came back one day, big score with a TV, a box of shrimp and fries, and I had Braxton. Dare I say life was sweet? So I let him go outside as I get situated only to see him come limping in on three legs. Braxton is so brave and pretends that he’s always walked with three legs. He never wanted me to worry, but I quickly freaked-out and carried him out, driving all crazy. Swear I was so scared, and we went to three different pet hospitals, panicking father. Finally, we made it back to Banfield, and $100.00 later, he had stepped on a pinecone or something, nothing more.

Beefy, he wishes, Be Free, well isn’t he now, but always my B III. I wouldn’t say I like math, and I’m not one for numbers in general. Being counted on… I once wrote that four was a lucky number, but how wrong I was. This I do know; 15 years wasn’t enough time. $323.60 is horrible. I had one son. Excuse me for being all out of sorts, it’s still Wednesday now, and I had to deal with “people.” My family, shouldn’t I say? As in my father and nephews. Should I count to three like a southern mother? I no longer say, “In five minutes, the world will end.” Dammit, my world ended, January 31, Braxton Barks Bradford.

Nothing can bring him back but Braxton FOUR One Hundred.

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 233 ~99 Problems But Braxton…~

WillLeave a comment

Some ladies have cried about him. Yep, my second BFF and my mom (his grandma). It must not be an easy thing for a vet, either. At the rate I’m going, the Mississippi and the Nile don’t stand a chance. I’m still in “Denial.” “99 Problems But Braxton…”

Friday, February 19, 2021

Gospel 233 ~99 Problems But Braxton…~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m still crying. Braxton isn’t a problem; he is a miracle. Like women he loves.

I’ve said before; my “father” was the first member of the family he met. Next was my little sister. His mother/crazy aunt (this is the south, just saying). Braxton was a gift to her, and she loved him. The only time I believe my “father” ever got upset with her was because of Braxton. She would do the, let’s say, ceremonial stuff, think Hallmark Channel. She didn’t like that I would sit in her room babysitting him. My mom even said Braxton and I were brothers. When did I get demoted? Anyway, he never became my sister’s purse dog. She decided to have “real babies,” my two nephews. Braxton, though, was all about his mom. Same with my Mom. Until “Braxton get in the car.”

Several years later, we met my second best friend “Indiana Gone.” Now she accomplished something no one else ever had done. She made Braxton fall in love with her. The first person that wasn’t family. If Braxton had it his way, he would have preferred I followed suit. I would always joke with him that the first girl he approved of I’d have to marry. It took Indiana four months to win B III over. Talk about the “Casting Couch.” She laid down and let Braxton crawl all over her. After a few minutes, he was in love and never had a problem with her again. The first time I had to give “the talk” to him. I figured he’d meet Dear Future Wife someday.

Instead, Braxton caught up with a pretty vet. That’s something you don’t do. You know, call asking for the name of the doctor that… Again, Lady Sophia, I’m not angry. Nineteen days and if I am mad, it’s at myself for killing my son. Or at my “father” for thinking Braxton can be replaced. As mean as Triple B is, all the ladies loved him. There was one guy vet we both hated. Braxton is my only guy friend, honest. I always wanted to do better with my son but not giving him the family I took? “Get in the car,” and he followed me. I think he knew; why he liked Indiana so much and his favorite toy too.

Daddy’s 99 Problems But Braxton…

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 226 ~Did Braxton Get Taller~

WillLeave a comment

Who do you look up to? Me, I look down, expecting to find Braxton waiting. He’ll look to me to pick him up. I’m making sure Braxton doesn’t slip out the door, his scent. He got up there in years, heroics, the Rainbow Bridge… “Did Braxton Get Taller,”

Friday, February 12, 2021

Gospel 226 ~Did Braxton Get Taller~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I should have bought Braxton stairs. He got taller. Higher, Further, Faster, baby, My Braxton.

No, he wasn’t Captain Marvel. The night I met my son, he was carried in by his grandfather. The runt of the litter, though I don’t know if that’s me building up his lore. THEY say tell the legend, so I consider it. Facts he’s a full Deer Head Chihuahua. The next thing I know, he’s in my sister’s arms, a gift. Let me stick to Braxton before… So I wanted my sister to let him walk. Hell, I was at least “twenty,” but I was all in for “puppy love.” Let’s say for days Braxton had better security than the U.S. Capitol, um yep. While I’m on the subject, his name Braxton Barks Bradford, B III, Triple B, Little B, the beat goes on.

Before he could decide on his direction, my mom named him. I thought she got the name from The Jamie Foxx Show and the character Braxton P. Hartnabrig. I think now he was named after the singer Toni Braxton. For three days ha he was Neo, “the one” my one. Now, of course, you get the Bradford but the “Barks?” It was his purpose, plus I was one for Stan Lee’s character names, thank you Raj, TBBT. If B had any other purpose, my sister would carry him around in her purse, which never happened. Then came the move. Braxton and mine and for about six years as the song goes… Just The Two Of Us. It should’ve been much longer, than that I know.

He made me a father, and he was my son, the SUN. He defended my kingdom, and I called him a little prince, no I made him a GOD. I didn’t know prayer until I asked God knows who for his safety, strength, and soul. I became a villain, but Braxton is my Hero. How can I be surprised that my little boy, who figured his butt should never touch hardwood, could fly into my arms? He could jump onto beds and couches. My son became the angel and sometimes little devil on my shoulder. And now, on February 10 (time-travel), I get a call to pick-up his… he made it to the Rainbow Bridge.

Higher, Further, Faster, I’m still growing. Did Braxton Get Taller

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 219 ~For Will, Pancakes, Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t want to talk about other people’s stories now. It’s only been a few days, and I keep thinking I should write out Braxton’s. That is when I can see straight for a little while. Not from hunger but too many tears. “For Will, Pancakes, Braxton.”

Friday, February 5, 2021

Gospel 219 ~For Will, Pancakes, Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I still buy pancakes. I’ve told the pancake stories, and here we go again, ready?

Braxton was young, and I was too old to still live with my Olds; much too old. I had a thing for Aunt Jemima French Toast, or maybe it was waffles. One morning after getting breakfast, I forgot a drink and left the food sitting on my bed. I come back and find this ball of fluff soaked in syrup, a big grin on his face, happy as can be. Well, the next day, I sit a plate of pancakes out of his reach. My Mom comes by and says, “You must really love pancakes.” That’s how I love my son. I would start saying, “I love you like pancakes,” meaning I placed him higher than anything in my life. My heart, my mind, Heaven…

When he was born, though… I wasn’t there. He came into my life in the hands of his grandfather. Braxton couldn’t have been more mine, but he started as a “gift” to my sister. I should have treated him as my “present” every day, but come another Sunday and TWD…

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?” from TWD.

I made Braxton my son. He made me a better man, an alright one, a father. He died Sunday but today’s not that story. Not for you anyway, as I try to block it out, but it plays again; my little boy, dying there. I’ll start crying again, and not a day has gone by without tears. Making other kids…

No, not one could sit in my lap the way he did; how he would curl up as if I were a plate and he was a pancake. No matter what, he was a little prince, and I was his throne. Sometimes he would bring his toy like a scepter and sit it beside me. He would place it in my lap when he rather not be bothered. Near the end, he would lie there, sweating, “leaking” I don’t know what. I still haven’t washed the sheets or his stuff. If it weren’t for work, he would always be on my jeans. Everyone tells me to eat, and right now… Hell, my stomach will be filled, but I am empty. Needing, For Will, Pancakes, Braxton.

I Am Afraid Without Braxton

Gospel 123 ~Will Is The WriMo~

WillLeave a comment

To write about what was, is, or shall be, at least in my storybook universe, which doesn’t explain why I’m a day early with this other than NaNoWriMo is beginning. 50,000 words when an X or a check will determine more on the 3rd. “Will is The WriMo”

Sunday, November 1, 2020

Gospel 123 ~Will Is The WriMo~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, so you could so afford Dragon Naturally Speaking. So here’s a question I have for you… why aren’t you using it? I bought it years ago, and now it’s sitting in a closet somewhere. You wouldn’t be so tired now, maybe. That might be because, as of this moment, it’s Saturday, so welcome to Time Travel once again. I’m still trying to decide whether I’m a young man seeing visions or old enough to dream dreams. I can’t tell you anything about who you are, but you’re tired of the last days…

Saturday is supposed to be the last day you’re a screw-up. Only here I am trying my damnedest to prevent that from being the case. NaNoWriMo needs a clean slate, and there’s so much to get done. Surprise of the century, from appointments, work, future. Now I know what I want for you at this particular moment. The ideas are pouring in from The Eye of The Tiger, the gift of sight “A Wrinkle In Time.” What is it with me today and a woman, especially black ones giving orders? That was plenty damn offensive? Interesting that my boss is also a black woman. You won’t have time to be working out these dreams; I’m letting you know now. On top of that, the Day Job’s future means I should sign up for benefits sometime today as well. But now about these, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Writing My First NaNoWriMo Sentence
    Completed
  5. I AM Writing A New Guild Intro
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Succubus 3 – (The Good The Bad And The Crazy Stupid Hot) by A.J. Markam
    Completed

I’ve been on the ball lately with reading, and I should ask you not to mess this up. Bill Gates goes through one book a week, so I’ve heard. Do not fall into the habit of listening to old white men but then that leaves the Elephant in the room or Donkey. Be A Dragon. The biggest thing on your list shouldn’t be NaNoWriMo, though you better, and we’ll get to that. No, my friend, you have to go VOTE for some old white guy that wants to tell the country how to behave. M. Anime believes the end is near, so she’s become bold. Strange that I and hopefully you will follow suit. Not because of any possible conclusion. Though that helps but more because others are reaching the pinnacle. Still not trying to offend anyone with my jealousy. I have Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Working On NaNoWriMo
  5. I AM VOTING
  6. I AM Finishing Stroke of Midnight by K. Webster

You do, VOTE, NaNoWriMo, Stay Alive. Will Is The WriMo

I Will Have No Fear

Log 278 ~The Apocalypse Will Be~

WillLeave a comment

One more week and I’m still well, writing, waking up later but getting a full night’s sleep even though I don’t want it because dare I say it, these words will be the end of me, while planning an Apocalypse. The Apocalypse Will Be

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Log 278 ~The Apocalypse Will Be~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but before that, I wasn’t much of nothing. Lady Luna, I don’t mean to be harmful, and I don’t want to sound like the “President,” either. This morning though, I had an epiphany, or I was dreaming about The Walking Dead. Perhaps great men are made by other great men. I’m well aware that’s from The Postman. Anyway, I was thinking about several things. Why I like the rain, why times such as this don’t scare me, why I’m a writer, where is that “dang” humming? So these words came out.

“You have to be larger than life, in the land of the dead.” Will Bradford

Today I want to talk about how I saw the apocalypse, working out. If anything, I’m a bit of a fan. I’ve heard and said often enough that “we need a new plague.” I’m well, thank you for asking, some allergies here or there. Can I sing out, I’ll Always Love My Mama, she said I never get sick? I see myself riding out the Coronavirus (COVID-19) like Matt Damon in Contagion. I tell you, My Lady, it sucks having all these ideas but no time. Am I using an old and tired excuse? No, I’m working on The Eve of a Cherry. I’m disappointed in myself as I didn’t make it to Five Thousand Words last night. Sticking to the matter at hand, well, hopefully not literally, I still imagine the end of the world in a brothel. In the first two chapters, though, I have already “buried” two bodies and one woman I didn’t even give a name.

“I made myself into a monster because that is what the world needed. I built something. I saved people. My name meant something.” ― Negan

In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my cock. ― Tyrion Lannister

Indiana Gone knows I’m a true believer in zombies and said that I really want them. It’s not that I’m bored, but when AMC can’t show the last episode of The Walking Dead. We should also keep the thought I’m a general misanthrope. I’ve also figured that some aliens might go all The 5th Wave on our butts someday. Well, minus the actual 5th because that didn’t make sense to me in their plan of attack. Also, the truth is I never finished the series. I’m still trying to finish The Gargoyle for the third time. Finally, what about a Machine War or better a Machine Love Fest? I did enter that RealDollX Sweepstakes; Sex Robot?

“She was trapped. Hungry. Alone. Like me. She was the last thing left in this world that I loved. She protected me. She got me here. Made me larger than life and I made this place.” The Well, King Ezekiel

“People want someone to follow. It’s the human nature. They want someone to make them feel safe. People who feel safe are less dangerous, more productive. They see a dude with a tiger, they start telling stories about finding it in the wild. Wrestling it into submission, turning it into his pet. They make the guy larger-than-life. A hero! Who am I to burst their bubble?” The Well, King Ezekiel

I’ve written better endings, but still The Apocalypse Will Be?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 313 ~Willing A Bad Story~

WillLeave a comment

One of my motivations talks about Becoming The Hero Of Your Own Story and to this day I still hear my mother saying, God is in control, or I could have imagined that like her reading to me or singing Simple Man. Willing A Bad Story

Friday, May 10, 2019

Episode 313 ~Willing A Bad Story~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Millionaire right now, and a damn good writer. Then again is there such a thing as a bad story? Lord of the Flies by William Golding, I heard it’s a classic, but I could never read it. How about Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, the word still creeps me out saying. Not to mention the story was longwinded and let’s say I was expecting something, different. Okay before you go calling the cops for my studies in DDLG, I tried reading the Bible too. Even got through a few books.

I’m not looking up the last book I crapped on. Still last night I was telling Dirty Diana about my “Red Dawn” fantasy. Decided to pass it on to the redheads over in Carson City, Nevada. Didn’t take long for one to say no flat-out. Speaking of beauties with red hair looks like I’ll be saving ten bucks on Patreon. The cosplayer is quitting. Of course, while I know this has nothing to do with me, I’m a selfish S.O.B. I have come up with a myriad of reasons this is my fault. So don’t want to attempt emailing the other girl in Nevada, scared to press MILF Dos. Busy complaining to “Indiana Gone.” My words have power Lady Sophia.

If I upset you don’t stress, never forget
That God isn’t finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thang
~Ghetto Gospel Tupac Shakur~

Now imagine being hit with that kind of power bearing down for years “What’s My Age Again?” So like Peter Banning, you can imagine why I find it challenging to think happy thoughts. Let alone write any. There’s my “Dad,” the day job, and destruction. If anything I can write about desire and of course that centers on my dick (Language?). I read Dennis Hof’s book. I also look into novels of women being “dugout.” Well, not today because I was out cold. Don’t I usually write about my day? Only again the day job is nothing I want to remember. There is also a box of melted ice cream; some fucked up nonfiction (STOP}. Sigh the end of an era with the closing of one of my favorite restaurants.

I remember what Jessica Rabbit would say about her being “drawn.” Now could you only fathom her creator’s thoughts? If you want my own, you need only look up a Songbird’s Shame by Studio F.O.W. I’m not a bad writer. I don’t know how I got here. Only the story Lady Sophia the show goes on Willing A Bad Story.

Songbird’s Shame

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 300 ~Last Left My Willie~

WillLeave a comment

There is a reason I’ll never give up “Adult Entertainment” I do want to make it my life’s work anymore from Hugh Hefner, to Larry Flynt, Dennis Hof, to a dubious photographer; books are only the beginning when I finish my latest. Last Left My Willie.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Episode 300 ~Last Left My Willie~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Millionaire right now, so finishing this last chapter should be no big thing though. I remember Dr. Strange, and how many endings he saw and I have to pick out the one that results in my victory? Once again, My Lady, it’s been my turn to win but if you don’t want any spoilers?

No, I’m not talking about Avengers: Endgame though plenty of people are ruining that for others as is. It’s so unfair but what about my unnamed novel. For once Lady Lu I hope that no one is reading this and I’m looking forward to having a break myself. I also know that this is more Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse, but this is a job that must get done. Besides sleeping what else has gotten done this Saturday? You know if I applied myself, go all balls to the wall with it I could finish right now. So how does it end; right now, an explosion and the two leads take on their roles in completed novels. Albeit both will have a touch of amnesia to show for it without any doubt.

Now’s not the time to be slacking off though and after two thousand words this morning? No not an excuse only the truth about my fiction and that’s procrastination and a fight not to FAP. What, I need plenty of models for the finale. Again something I should be discussing with Inspector Echo. I’m still clean despite shelling out for BrainBuddy. How many exercises have I missed working on ending my story? Not that I hate it by any means, for I have prevailed. To be fair though I have a major case of blue balls looking for girls to have in the final orgy. Only if you must insist:

Dillion Harper “Track Star” Liz Vicious Maisie Williams
Rihanna Samuel “Maid” Mia Rose Sophie Turner
Okay Ruby Rae Alycia Debnam-Carey
MILF Dos Alice Little Eileen Kelly
Little Lupe Abbey Rain Elizabeth Rage

Katy Perry Blondelil19yo Cassandra
Angie Varona Lexi Ainsworth Sophitia
Sofia Kasuli Back Alley Hooker Airi Akitsuki
Amber Hahn Sabrina Nichole Dolly Little
Carrie Cummings Court Carmody Hazel Ricotta

No insult or order The End, Last Left My Willie

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 159 ~When’s Your Holiday Will~

WillLeave a comment

If I could take back everything I’ve said to women, that includes my first cry because I’ve been offending them ever since, how about when Santa lost his way here, and if I ever wake up rested and happy, shocker? “When’s Your Holiday Will?”

Friday, December 7, 2018

Episode 159 ~When’s Your Holiday Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t live in infamy, it doesn’t help you win wars, (Japan), money and women are questionable (Marquis de Sade), and even if you’re proven right, “what’s next” is far stranger than “The End” right (Joseph Seed)? So am I saying become President, what was that about infamy, how about becoming a pornstar, working for FOX News, or even *gasp* a writer, you can always make money off some holiday spirit right?

Infamy, a day that will live as such, how many of the brave died this day so many years ago; I know you’re asking why do I even bring up something like Pearl Harbor, it’s not like I’m doing anyone a service but one more reason I’m a writer, I don’t want to forget. I’m not a great man, a good one, hell sometimes I judge if I’m even alright, especially when it comes to writing but for this moment in time, hell anytime I find myself sitting here, talking to you, any of the girls, the man in the mirror, writing a novel or poem I’m free. Isn’t that worth celebrating, every day I make a choice but here’s the thing and I’ve said this before, things we don’t learn from history we’re doomed to repeat; is that why I’m always writing about the end, something like Kylo Ren:

“The Empire, your parents, the Resistance, the Sith, the Jedi… let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be.” The Last Jedi

You know I don’t celebrate holidays… my “birthday” in itself made me someone I didn’t want to be; alive, talk about a day I would erase, and then there are the days I can’t, the 5th of November, July 2nd, whenever the Harmonic War began. Seems almost tradition that the worse days of my life always revolve around a girl, even now my work schedule is done by one, I have several women who text me (not that I’m mad about that). I can’t remember when I did my first novel which wasn’t for NaNoWriMo; when’s the last time I got a full night’s sleep, and again with the women when was my last one or first one, long time.

When you can’t remember the day you lost happiness, would you recognize it, hell I remember the last time I had ah, a “release” and every day I resist is a victory not that I can celebrate this week, already failed #1. Even talking to Dear Future Wife my thoughts focus more on the present than the future but you want to know when I’ll party; September 1st when I have my first million, and hopefully I won’t be lying here on December 7th asking again, When’s Your Holiday Will?

I Will Have No Fear