Tag: Therapy

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

WillLeave a comment

I should adopt the attitude I once had when I was back in school. When somebody asked how was your day; you say “I don’t want to talk about it” and for once I’ve got nothing to say, but I’m waiting for “The Day.” A Willing Twenty-four Hours

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Episode 062 ~A Willing Twenty-Four Hours~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason not to think about this or that, have you noticed that the more you try to ignore a particular subject, the more it comes up, sort of like air, you don’t think about it, but I’m sure everybody has had a moment where they needed to catch it. If they didn’t, are they living or surviving, though for me it usually comes as a moment of anxiety, how I *sigh* plenty in my writing and I saw something pretty interesting on Instagram today.

Today, I’m more awake and not surprisingly lazier but “trying” not to think about things such as porn, takes plenty out of me but I haven’t taken any naps…am I coming out of my Depression maybe? Why Depression, well we’ll get to that but my little boy is a pain, and it’s hard to stay mad at him, I’m so used to having him around and then to send him away to time out, hurts me more than you, no my “father” found joy in my pain. Speaking of pain I’ve also gotten into buying more books, should I be thinking about how much I failed this week, including reading and I don’t have to, if I knuckle down and get to work right now…

Yeah, the story of my life which leads me to the huge thing I don’t want to think about that starts with the letter D, no not that, and yeah Depression but “The Day” is coming up soon, the worse day of my life. Tell me Lady Luna what could be worse than that, DEATH ha when you think of the odds of any one human being and no I am not a man of faith but neither am I a man of science or anything. Yes, I know words, and that’s what my life should be, hell what my life is; not that they have brought me any such thing as I look over my keywords for twenty-four hours.

One more failure as I didn’t hide ‘the Day” from people deep enough and now I have to look forward to disappointment, disgust, Dad and plenty more D words except the one that’s driving me crazy. Didn’t do me any favors in high school and I had so many names that Willie was only one more, and here I am, one more day down, closer to “The Day” and my Lady Lu how I have wasted A Willing Twenty-four Hours.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

WillLeave a comment

To be honest, I need the work in all areas of my life, as I heard during my motivation kick, sleep is for those who are broke which explains so much these past few days. Will, Way, So Work, I have it all so won’t I?

Sunday, August 26, 2018

Episode 056 ~Will, Way, So Work~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason I wouldn’t make a good boss besides crippling social anxiety. Not expecting much of anything and more than a willingness to look at porn on top of everything else. No, I’m not going to beg you or even ask because when has that ever helped and especially with this week. You’re going to be unconscious. It’s going to be a hard one, yes harder than THAT; I’m afraid if that’s even possible my friend.

I would say I have no time for excuses, but I haven’t had time for anything else besides sleeping. When exactly is the energy boost from NO FAP supposed to kick in or maybe I haven’t been eating healthy again. It could be the pressure like I said, I figured this week was all settled, paying off the blog. And then the car trouble and having this thing about eating on the regular. It’s going to be close. Of course, sitting around waiting to fail is not right, and the thing is I don’t have to. A friend paid me some interest, and yet I’m sitting on the money. Yeah, one more thing to add to failing Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 005 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 012 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
Failed
4. I Will Make It To The Library
Failed
5. I Will Read “Ven” by Ker Dukey
Failed
6. I Will Edit One Chapter A Day of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel) 11 ― 17
Failed

Another 17.5 F, everything going into keeping my pants on. Now is the part of the story that you must admit you have a problem. And all your friends have an intervention to address the issue, lucky you don’t have any. Not entirely accurate, one left some time ago, another is Somebody’s Baby. Still another girl tries her best, and a fourth idolizes the “Lolita” motif, that word… dirty right? Speaking of dirty, your hands, you’ll be working most of this week but what about writing? Do you think God up and abandoned his universe? No wonder Alice found another one, but you can’ even attempt these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 012 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. “I Will” Review “The Art Of Peace”
4. I Will Make It To The Library
5. I Will Finish “Ven” by Ker Dukey and K. Webster
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush” (Novel)

Does it look like I’m going easy on you? There are factors to consider. Money, wearing out the tires with library trips when I saw hope and “potential.” How I hate that word because it means you should be doing more to make it disappear right? The man I hope you will be is starting to vanish, and you can’t let that happen, but I don’t know how to convince you. Hell Will I know you can wake up at the right time and there is so much I know.

Will you have to, you must, because it’s getting around that time, no, the time is always now, so what to do with the rest of the day? “Rule 158 I’m Will, There’s A Way” so Will, Way, So Work.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 035 ~Willingness To Forget Rules~

WillLeave a comment

How hard is it to forget about me, everybody else does it quickly enough, but even when I’m asleep, well I should be doing that now, but I’m always having dreams, creating goals, and making some rules. Willingness To Forget Rules.

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Episode 035 ~Willingness To Forget Rules~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to, other than the fact that we want to prove we can learn something new every day and it’s already begun, yesterday was Thirty-Four that brings to mind two things, porn, and age. Speaking of forgetting things what about Rule 116 which states “Watching, Waiting, Hoping, Just Move,” and I know you’re exhausted, hell I only handled the first two hours, but it’s your world now “step up or step aside” hmm maybe you did get enough sleep Will?

Porno, panic, and peeing shouldn’t be your only reasons to get up though, despite everything what about puppy, purpose, and power, the things you never forget though agony is trumping everything at the moment. There are at least four rules that mention pain, and that gets us back to porn because clearly, you’re not enjoying your share of hurt and the only way you do enjoy it is inflicting it on others for a mutual pleasure eventually. I guess you have to think with something at the moment considering the big head is still in a fog but what about the promises, yeah I’ll stop any minute now, but you have those Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, (Day 004 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, (Dog Food Acquired But No Bath Or Pills)
3. I Will Tell Off Anyone That Calls Me Out My Name
Completed (At Work)
4. I Will Make It To The Library Five Days Minimum
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
Completed
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”
Completed

Give myself a point for just being alive and everything else is 16.5 Points, yes I did the math and you know what I see, a sixty-seven, a D Will, and to think once upon a time I would be happy with a D, hell I am pleased with my D the thing is I know I fucked up. Every day propels us forward, didn’t I say I’d stop this but there is no rule against it, but there are rules about keeping it in your pants, being a good parent, wanting, demanding and promising to do better. As I said that’s how you know you fucked up, well I did, and it sucks that you always have to correct everything I’ve done but here’s to “doing” the right thing, don’t forget Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 004 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Not Take Shit From Anybody
4. I Will Make It To The Library And Starbucks
5. I Will Finish Reading The Art Of Peace by Morihei Ueshiba
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”

Your schedule is all sorts of hectic, you feel like Hell, and your feet are always hurting but forget all about that, hard right, humor, okay I get it maybe I have a problem, but I need to think about anything other than thirty-four because, well you know. All the things that you wish would fade away; still not over “The Darkest Minds,” yeah like “Detroit: Become Human” and wanting to sleep but always such a Willingness To Forget Rules.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 034 ~Getting Behind The Will~

WillLeave a comment

Last week it was getting out of bed, and this week it was getting behind the wheel, and there is no time for baby steps, I’ve run like a madman for most of my life, and I would take an “ACME” rocket despite the consequences. “Getting Behind The Will”

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Episode 034 ~Getting Behind The Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason to not turn around other than my past, because to quote another song; my future is coming on, and as fast as I might run I am in no hurry to go and catch it. You know how all these motivational studies of mine talk about purpose and why, like learning how to drive I just wanted to go faster, I need to escape, if anything I want to know a place where I will never be afraid.

The thing is Lady Luna there is no such place and not to sound like Trump or anything but as long as there’s air, no wonder the man wants to destroy the planet, my aunt said I wanted the same thing, but I saw no profit in it. There are days when I think that people can be okay and days when I believe a psychopath, a plague or purge is what the doctor ordered like yesterday, Master Yoda is right. Between being in line at Starbucks, driving, and Walmart, the one thing that was constant was the fear and rage threatening to swallow me.

“Behind every fear is a person you want to be. Fear is self-imposed, meaning it doesn’t exist. You create it. You can destroy it too. You face your fears and become the person you want to be. You run from your fears; you’re not living.” Greg Plitt 1977 – 2015

What a monster I must be not to want to go forward and face myself and what a coward I am for not wanting to turn around, but this isn’t a conversation for us, “I just want to know why” as the song goes. I could go on forever and a day about fear and my rage, again driving my car or getting to the library late, anxiety and Z Nation, what was that I said about a plague? All I know was yesterday I was in my car, listening to my affirmations and somebody started honking at me and first came fear, then “GTA Motherf*****” in less than a minute and change.

I’m not selfish enough, you heard me right, my life is spent learning about everything in this world so I might survive it and I don’t know anything about the survivor, the Man In The Mirror, the man behind the wheel, or before the keyboard. There are so many mirrors in a car, and I only need to avoid one, the vanity, the rest are showing me what to evade, I drive to the library to see who I might be, the day-job to know who I hate, just saying.

You know what they have in common, they keep me from being stuck but aren’t I always, what hurts more the mirror, the reflection in my dog’s eyes knowing he feels such love (wishful thinking) I hear that man say come and Find Me. That man might Hurt Somebody, yes I know “The Darkest Minds” which was perhaps the highlight of my week, maybe one day taking a Drive won’t be an escape until then Lu, Getting Behind The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 028 ~Will Blank For Blank~

WillLeave a comment

I don’t beg, my knees if anything testify to that; do you hear that creak and crack that’s from working, and the thing is I know I need to do so much more of that if I’m ever going to get somewhere. Will Blank For Blank.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Episode 028 ~Will Blank For Blank~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason and I mean other than Detroit: Become Human, it’s been a minute since either of us has mentioned that and what are we doing to get it though, well your week is only just beginning. I can’t say I’ve done much sadly, will work for food and what not, I also fell back into sleeping most of the night and still waking up exhausted which makes me proud of you, though yeah, you got up to cook, getting yourself on track for this week.

It’s hard doing anything for yourself isn’t it, The Walking Dead has become your life literally between my playing the game last week and how you feel this morning, not truly living each moment but existing nevertheless. I lost all of “M Anime’s” messages, made promises to “Indiana Gone” for her impending nuptials, and when’s the last time I talked to “Cherry” you would think that I would have gotten some work done. What is it those motivational speeches keep saying, find your purpose, you must know and feel why, and you’ve found both by being where you are right now, and the dog under the table and yet those six impossible things eluded me:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed, (Day 008 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Bath
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
Failed (Have You Seen Her)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
Failed
6. I Will Add 1,500 Words To “Apocalypse Rush” (54,000 Words)
Failed

Worse than 50% but we know what we can take off the list now only to replace them with harder goals, and while you think you have to get selfish I know you won’t do that because as Negan puts it, people are a resource. You know you were made to be a writer, you wouldn’t be sitting here otherwise, your little boy is counting on you, and why would you bother getting yourself pumped every day, driving to the library today? It’s hard trying not to sound like one of those speeches so okay what’s your purpose for this week, your six impossible things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 008 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off Anyone That Calls Me Out My Name
4. I Will Make It To The Library Five Days Minimum
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
6. I Will Edit Three Chapters of “Apocalypse Rush”

We’re always on the cusp you know, I don’t want to scare you, but okay speech time, turn should do to must do, this is your Plan A and there honestly is no Plan B, well not until you get a girl, and that’s a whole other story entirely but someone worth considering always. You do this because you don’t want to be the one holding up a sign, no that’s for your fans, that’s for the people you might help someday, your two hands have a real gift, your brain can think of so much more than this my friend, Will Blank For Blank.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 027 ~Tell Me Your Will~

WillLeave a comment

Heads up, it’s danger ahead, or I’m fighting back my anxiety, and before all of that I need to get out of bed, and people always said that I had a big head, because I’m so full of ideas and I have to breathe right? Tell Me Your Will

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Episode 027 ~Tell Me Your Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason to stay here, and I’ll find sixty or more reasons to get up, honestly, where has Spotify been All My Life… well at least something is getting up in the morning more often than not. I don’t remember the last time the rest of me got up and wasn’t tired, tipsy, or terrified but I had a bit of a revelation thanks to a motivational speech by Will Smith, and he said something to the tune of, the higher up you are, the harder it is to breathe.

Now for me it starts with getting out of bed, lifting my head up is hard enough, one foot in front of the other, and God help me when I have to go outside, that first breath feels like it just won’t come and more often than not I don’t want it honestly. While I’m thinking about God that’s just the thing, people downright demand those that are poor help those at the top, and at the top, if you must give, then it is God’s will but the higher you are, the fewer people above you. What about when it comes to women, confidence right, that starts with lifting your head up, keeping your chin and honestly Lady Lu it hurts, it physically hurts because I haven’t done it in such a long time.

“I’m sick of taking care of everything, paying bills, making peace and plans and keeping my chin up. God, I am so sick of my chin being up.” Angel 04×02

So yesterday I was sick of listening to people, saying I should stand shoulder to shoulder my head held high. Authors are telling me I should keep my head in their books, having to turn side to side, out of this constant fear. No more looking up to people; okay I know I look up to Will Smith, and I won’t be giving up the motivational speeches anytime soon but no more looking down on people either or letting fear take hold of me. If I am to die it will be because I’m at the top of the mountain almost out of breath than staying down here getting dizzy for want of my survival.

That sounded a bit more hopeful than I was thinking today and wasn’t it yesterday I was talking about people are always chatting no matter what but if you climb the mountain the ones I hate won’t be heard and the others, well who knows but it would be nice to see. It all starts with me and the man in the mirror that I need to face, I need to tell him what I want because nobody else is going to give it to me. “Indiana Gone” looked up and now she’s getting married so congratulations to her, but as for me and “Mr. I Don’t Feel Like It,” *sigh* Tell Me Your Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

WillLeave a comment

Why do I dream of dystopias and apocalypses, when every day it feels as though the world is ending and every week that I survive I start again only hoping to be better if at all possible but I Am me. “Far Cry From Human”

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 021 ~Far Cry From Human~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason not to panic, because starting today it’s your turn and I’m all panicked out from yesterday, hell remember years ago at Target, that guy almost broke apart on the spot, and it could have been worse. Yes, the jobs can always be worse; Target was a few months, the next post he never went back after one day, the following, fired after three and what do we have now?

I digress, you might tell Inspector Echo all about it, but yesterday I was so sick thinking about what I would have to do that I nearly called out and I ended up putting tags on shoes, but I would like to think all the “motivation” I listened to is why you’re up. You do what you have to do until you can do what you want and like we tell the dog daily “make good decisions,” and the ball is in your court now and there was a time “Omni” wasn’t that bad. Today s brand new and there is always room to approve, I might have fucked it up some but can we Accentuate The Positive and yes you want “Fallout 4” and “Fallout 76” amongst other things, but you’ll have to do better than these Six Impossible Things and me:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed, (Day 001 Again)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Missing Treats, Bath Time
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
Failed, (Have You Seen Her)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Completed
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)
Completed

50% *sigh* but I completed the novel, and now you have to carry the torch, and no I don’t mean to burn it… you didn’t make the bed this morning but think of everything you have accomplished; you ate healthy to a degree, the dog’s gotten fresh air, his paper changed, etc. If you can handle the small things sooner or later you’ll make it to the big ones and yet you have to dive into the deep end to become a success is what they say. You feel like you’re not making an impact I know and yesterday despite having a good day minus the sickness I was still a coward, but this is your show, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “Legacy of Succession” Anna Edwards
6. I Will Add 1,500 Words To “Apocalypse Rush” (54,000 Words)

The only one of those things beyond your control is Zibby, and here I was about to tell you not to worry, but you will so don’t worry about her, instead worry about where you’re going to put all your new games, giving your son his best life, and keeping yourself awake. This Is Your Life because I Am gone, and I want you to say I Am the proud owner of “Far Cry 5,” “Detroit: Become Human,” “Fallout 4” and more, I Am the father of a happy dog, I Am better than I was yesterday, Will you are a Far Cry From Human.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 020 ~To Defeat The Huns~

WillLeave a comment

People face many things throughout their day, but the worst one for me is people, and today I’ll have to do just that or not since I’ll have to check bathrooms and fitting rooms and it’s my business to make money. “To Defeat The Huns.”

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Episode 020 ~To Defeat The Huns~

Hey Lady Lu,

Give Me One Reason to face the Huns, and no mine name’s not Mulan, though I could certainly use her courage, training, and luck; how I ask Luck Be A Lady tonight or at least for six hours. I can’t say I’ve been one for gambling, horse racing maybe but I trust those animals more than a majority of HUMANITY, and I can give you one big reason for that Lady Lu.

… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (2008)

HUMILIATION Lady Lu is arguably my greatest fear, the foundation of my anxiety and you can’t call it irrational if it comes to pass as it did the last time I was assigned to “CLEAN” and I know it sounds STUPID. No it all comes down to looking so stupid, and you know how such a concept sets me off, believing, being, and saying; may God show mercy on the soul that calls me such or makes me feel it. Too bad I don’t believe in God right because I’m my own worst enemy *sigh* people have an imaginary friend they worry about but I can’t stand thinking or knowing how everyone looks at me.

HUNGER is one big motivation to face the humiliation, my dog has to eat, and if I split my paycheck by three (bills, blog, belly) last week, I made a whole five bucks and then the fact that I’m in the library nearly every day writing “trying to make something of myself. HULKING out because I lack discipline, or I’m so afraid as Yoda says, and when’s the last time I let my anger get the best of me, strange that I was ready to go off on somebody and now they’re nowhere around me. HURTING myself on the daily in one form because of everything but at least I’ve stopped popping myself with a rubber band as I was doing it so much I would more than likely decapitate my hand from my wrist.

HUMOR has not been a strong suit of mine, though being laughed at brings a HURRAH from everybody else; yes I know this is about me and I can’t help the fact that even now I want to call into work and HUSH for the rest of the day. Anything Lady Lu beats the idea of humiliation, and I’m in for a world of that and what will I do, so let’s get down to business To Defeat The Huns.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

WillLeave a comment

Pride is energizing while humiliation is exhausting and I got more than a dose staring into all of those mirrors today or was it the panic attack; I haven’t known such fear since watching “stuff,” on my “father’s” computer. Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Episode 014 ~Privacy Concerns Of Pride~

To Will:
Give Me One Reason to feel PRIDE, and I have 38,990 words for it, I put my mind to it, and though I was a tiny bit late with each day I didn’t give up, I didn’t ever give up, but Saturday honestly sucked. How’s the start of your week, last week it was all about names and you couldn’t remember one girl’s name standing right in front of you, how about the Panic Attack you had reading about your responsibilities and bravo changing your schedule and leaving it on your boss’s desk.

I don’t mean to be such a dick and speaking of which today you have to do something about yours; over one hundred days made you hungry, a hunter, hardcore, and you toss it all away on some mom’s mammaries? Too Much Information TMI as the kids say but the thing is what I’m most proud of I believe is crap but I got it done even if nobody sees it but that’s what we do every day. The stuff you did today was all failures, “success in progress” and even if nobody sees this the fact has you put it out there for you, in hopes that you can be better like Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Failed (Day 001)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed, Yard Needs Cutting, Punishments, Bath Time
3. I Will Visit The Library The Entire Week
Completed
4. I Will Complete 50% Of “Legacy of Succession” by Anna Edwards
Completed
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
Failed
6. I Will Write For “Apocalypse Rush” Nine Thousand Words Minimum
(Total 24,400) Completed (38,990)

Knocks me down a peg or two, fifty percent is an F if I’ve ever seen one and at this rate 99 1/2 won’t do; you have to head straight to the top, you are not meant to be live like this, and it’s time, to be honest. Funny how humiliating it was to barge into other people’s business today, housekeeping and all, I remember how sick I was using the bathroom there, but the point has you put yourself out there all the time, your hopes, dreams, and beliefs. How about women, how much time do you have for that, if you can put one in her place that will be enough for this week, well no, in fact, I expect more from you as always Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Tell Off “Zibby” If She Calls Me Out My Name (Liberal Arts)
4. I Will Not Get Fired
5. I Will Post A Review For “The First Purge”
6. I Will Complete “Apocalypse Rush” (50,000 Words)

I am proud of you Will that you survived today despite everything, you many consider today an act of cowardice, and I’m always saying have no fear, and you continue to believe it. As the song goes, “it seems to me that maybe, it pretty much all ways means no” and if your boss doesn’t hear so good well yell out as you did today, “Housekeeping” because it’s time you did that in your life despite Privacy Concerns Of Pride.

Do Your Worse Because I’m The Man Or I Hope…

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 013 ~Too Soon Brave Captain~

WillLeave a comment

Library closed earlier today, but that didn’t stop me, find a way, despite need doggies and girls that need a stern talking to which with my little speech and sad to say the MeToo movement; anyway I didn’t fail today… much. Too Soo Brave Captain

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Episode 013 ~Too Soon Brave Captain~

Hey Lady Lu,
Give Me One Reason to believe it’s possible, already the doubts are creeping in, but I am close, by the end of our conversation here counting my novel, there will be over two-thousand words that leaves three-thousand to go, and I’ve been doing so well. I don’t want you to be proud of me Lady Luna because then I will feel like I can rest. Considering I practiced “success in progress” sounds so much better than failure, I should get this done, find a way, start doing.

So I do not sound off with victory at the moment, there is so much to do and you know this week is going to start a significant slowdown, and it all starts with fear, what would I do if I wasn’t afraid. Truth be told I have practiced my speech for work a few times but you know how it is when you stand up to bullies, that’s pretty much how life has is these days, my high school lifestyle on repeat, beautiful girls giving me grief and hiding in the library. As those motivational speeches keep saying: has that become my new “Detroit Become Human” any way they say you have to find the answer to WHY so why don’t you tell me why I would have to say this, to some girl:

“Look my name is Will, not Willie, William, or Willy-Kins just Will, if anyone calls me Willie it better be because my dog has learned to speak English or you’re my girl and while you’re cute, you ain’t that cute. Like touching me, if you ain’t my dog, my girl or applying for the position don’t touch me, and you might need to drink “a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up.”
― Will

That would be me “burning the boats” because my novel should be my Plan A and if you want to be successful you can’t have an exit strategy, do or die and it’s sad don’t you think that if I walk out of here without having known success, whatever will I do at the house? There is a reason that I come here to work every single day; because I know that the writing will get done and I will make it despite everything and as far as the day job is concerned… as Randy Marsh would say isn’t this America; Too Soon Brave Captain.

I Will Have No Fear