Tag: Lady Lu

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

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If you don’t have your health; the thing is I think I know what will fix this but after that monster headache, no more energy shots for a while but my poor characters t if I stay awake today. I’m Staying Alive Will.

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Episode 251 ~I’m Staying Alive Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars; I’m sure I’ll make it after I’m long dead. As much as I have written, but it will be nowhere near three thousand words. Did I promise myself such today working?

Head games you know. When your body is telling you your so fucked up (Language) that it has you going looking on WebMD for answers. In that respect why aren’t I dead by now? Hearing one of your coworkers say again and again their not a racist. Speaking the truth though they’re mad about a former lover dating someone black. However, in all fairness, I’m not one to date black women. We’ve talked about the ones that leave me in the morning. Help me; if I were to ask for it, it would come in a little plastic tube. 5-hour ENERGY still has me wrecked, from my head to my feet nowadays, could be worse.

Heartbreak and I know my heart isn’t so. Seriously though I hate coming off like Howard Wolowitz or like some criminal. Yeah, women prefer the clown but the comedian died and how many days has it been? Hair Razing as my heart sank when I saw what was coming. Do you know what’s going to make me such the zombie survivor? I learned to avoid people when they’re still alive. Hands not idle but sore, sexy, and sorry for, well I’m here. Shouldn’t I make a list of my crimes, but that’s the thing, isn’t it. I don’t want to survive; I want to live.

Horny never helps though. If there is any consolation, with all this pain I’m feeling at the present moment; I can’t think about sex. Not saying I would turn it down but that should show you how much this hurts. Hips, Legs, all the way down to my toes, how I stood at all today is a miracle. I got up early to read today. I’m two minutes away from crawling into bed and going back to sleep, much like I did this morning after the book. Health is everything isn’t it Lady Lu. Yes B III has better health care than me because he has me and he’s alive.

How about if I only try living. Am I going to break off into some positive phase like once upon a time? All I know is that today sure as hell ain’t that day, only I’m not dying. I’m not getting arrested, one more miracle right, I’m Staying Alive Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 244 ~Scared Will, Theories Told~

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I should keep my “Wisdom” to myself, but I didn’t break my hands, my throat though goes from itchy to Aww Hell and wouldn’t that be the best punishment for someone like me, to tell stories to no one ever. Scared Will, Theories Told

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 244 ~Scared Will, Theories Told~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, as I dare to call myself a writer, an easy mistake to make, again and again. I could take being the one to find out how the world found its conclusion, all its shapes, and forms.

With everything on my mind recently, I had this theory at the Day Job about the Mark of The Beast. Now I am still not a religious man, but they say the mark will be seen in our right hands today. Yes, there are left-handed people but think about it, our phones. I wrote before about how “THEY” say people care for their phones more than their children. The flesh of our flesh and hell on B III’s Birthday I was a slave to mine, it knows everything. The mark will also find homes on our foreheads, worse, in our brains. How much does Spotify understand about me, how much social media, XVideos or PornHub?

Less these days I know, but another idea is that one life can change the world. I also believe in zombies, aliens and for the past week again I am Prometheus. Is it the heart today or my privates, for now, I’m not getting a “stiffy.” If I get a hard on somebody’s going Lorena Bobbitt on my behind, if I open up my heart, that’s a snack. So either way, I’m pushing a stone up a hill much like Sisyphus. My happiest decisions nowadays are me carrying the world on my shoulders like Atlas. I call a girl pretty, that’s a block. If I see a girl on Twitter, deleted, and if I decide to shrug off having any desire, I’m nothing at all.

What’s with Titanomachy and me, do I see such wisdom in the Greeks. Well the gods defeated the Titans, and again Christianity hasn’t done me any favors, so why did I leave; “WHY” I asked why. God says come as you are and you’ll be born again, but I don’t like that guy either. Why do I want the BDSM Lifestyle? Now that’s too big a subject; I wrote the most beautiful things for the worse men. So they could end up with “innocent” angels.

As you can see these days, women run away. Still to meet one that walks into a cage, chain, or collars willingly and doesn’t want to leave? My childhood, I wrote my name and asked my aunt what I wrote, and I’ve been asking women ever since permission. Like my seventh “birthday” when I said What The Hell instead of “What in tarhooties?!” Well ever since then I’ve traveled a “Fury Road” of people, yet I commit more sins every day unfailingly. Muttering “I’m Sorry” eternally Scared Will, Theories Told.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

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I began in the midnight hour, and I’m only now rising, I was busy keeping my guts down, and if I had done so earlier well, I wouldn’t feel this way; “Looked Who Grossed Up” and that wasn’t even the worst night but now? Pen Hand Strong Will.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Episode 237 ~Pen Hand Strong Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, at the moment, even if I had it, I would spend it all to make this feeling go away. Do you know why I always ask the question? Because my first impression, insinuation, and involvement is still the way wrong answer.

It doesn’t explain why I am talking to you so late tonight or early this morning. Other than the fact that I feel like I might vomit and like I said yesterday. That proves one has guts but who wants to see that. We’re not doctors, Walkers, and even knights wore armor. If that’s what thing I learned tonight, I’m no prince on a white horse. Lady Luna I’ve come to the understanding that I’m one of two things and neither would allow me to sleep. Option A being, I’m a monster, I scare people, I’ve said it myself time and time again. Option B I’m nothing, I’m no one, and that’s why there is no need to wish, whisper, or write because who sees. Well, she did and convicted me, she did and called me out, she did and canceled, she did cause I’m nothing.

It hasn’t tasted the same you know, an ICEE, I still drink them, but on one day I nearly killed a dog. He slammed into my car door, but the taste I miss from my drink. The same with IBC Root Beer when my “father” slapped me, and they say alcohol numbs the pain. What about sleep, I haven’t gotten to rest a night without blogging first, and you know what caused that. Lesson 001 Looked Who Grossed Up and here we are again Lady Luna. Now I’ll never be able to look at Pokemon. Think about that Crazy Town song Butterfly. Listen to Michael Jackson’s Butterflies without thinking of what happened tonight. I’m sure you’re asking what the hell, so I guess I’m ready.

I asked a woman out once; she said nothing. I asked her out again this month; she said nothing. She showed butterflies around her and her daughter I posted “Butterfree” on Instagram. I quoted Crazy Town Lyrics to Butterfly, and here we are. Blocked, no bye, and with the belief, I’m the worse creature to roam the planet Earth. No, a cretin, worthless and cowering afraid of losing everything. Now I want to erase it all because it’s easier to destroy myself than watch others leave me once again, been there. Why do you think I’m always on the brink, forever seeing the end but no I repeat the mistakes of the past. My how a year and a half passed August 6, 2017, and now February 22, 2019, in the same horrific situation. Damn Pen Hand Strong Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

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Put your money where your mouth is, excellent advice considering my situation, and ten bucks; a salve for an itch I can’t scratch o maybe like a cat that’s what paper is for and even now a voice is yelling, stop that. Will Puddin, Published, Genius

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Episode 230 ~Will Puddin, Published, Genius~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, they keep staring me in the face. Her boobs, that boing in my pants, and books that remain unpublished and why. I’m not the good guy, the god-fearing man or a genius… aren’t I supposed to be positive after yesterday’s rant?

“All I wanted was to see her naked!” ―
Girl All The Bad Guys Want

https://www.patreon.com/Courtcarmody

Luna I have, don’t you know, not as much as I would like. I’m never going to let that go right; quite presidential, you start messing with people’s money, and it’s over. Court Carmody sigh compared to the MILF. The things men will do for boobs, because we are boobs and that ladies in gentlemen is the English language. Of course, that’s not as bad as my Math. Though $10.00 beats, um well; let it go, Elsa, am I right? So besides sex, money is on my mind, and again with the motivations. Don’t follow the money, but the purpose and I sit here having an inception moment. Remember all the people I blamed yesterday, and I told “Indiana Gone” today who I would most like to be? Larry Flynn, Hugh Hefner, Ron Jeremy, Dennis Hof, and another guy I’m better off not naming, again.

Okay, you get it a fat rich white guy that gets to have plenty of sex. These are men who have cash from young women getting nude being on camera, and working in cat-houses. That’s why I’m brainstorming or being lazy, your call. Anyway as I was having a conversation with Indiana Gone, I told her my dream. I have to get published, starting producing books like I’m S. Wolf, Skye Warren, and Larry Flynn combined. Until I can afford photographers, property, then head west. Everything Dennis Hof had, I want that lifestyle. No not the show but movies no doubt, a “love hotel” like they have in Japan, and with all this, I still want the love of family.

I’m not stupid, I’m staying positive, but I’m not a genius, I am a guy with a penis. Hell if I last the day, the first week of No Fap once again and I even finished Lolita. I was telling “Cherry” today who fashions herself a Lolita… she’s twenty-one, and I’ve never seen her boobs. Anyway, I was telling her that word here can lead to trouble. Since my whole bad teeth “realization” why is it that even my fingers are shutting up these days. Things I shouldn’t say like last night. I’m still thinking about my taste in women. They are either innocent virgins or women with bad sexual histories. Ironically I have seen all four of those women naked. Two I didn’t pay for but again how do I turn this into profit. I’ve offered both MILFS a deal, one though has her reasons and the other? I’m not shelling out that type of cash again. Because at least for now, or I would like to be, I’m only Will Puddin, Published, Genius.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

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Honestly, I did not think I was going here today, more like little head instead of the big head, but what about a furry one, I should go to “PetSmart” more on Sundays no doubt, but I have my son, and I stand by him. Stand At Attention Will.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Episode 223 ~Stand At Attention Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become the Secretary of Defense; believe it or not, there was a time in my life Lady Lu that I said those words out loud, I also wanted to be a war correspondent and as you recall I did a brief stint in the Navy. The words are Military Bearing; do you know why I tend to make all these “personalities” female save for one; I don’t think in my life there has been one man in my environment that I have honestly respected, on a personal level I will say.

Today I was at PetSmart picking up B III’s meds, and they had an adoption thing, and I saw the cutest little dog; this furbaby was a few inches taller than my son. Oh to let dear Trible B have a few years taken back on him, return to puppy form I’d give him a sibling. My father never taught me about how to be a man, he threatened to kill me before going into the military, I thought maybe they would educate me, but I left, one uncle cheated on his wife, another married in and murdered my mom’s sister. Never met my great grandfather’s, paternal granddad wasn’t there, maternal grandfather got divorced, another uncle shot and can’t stand, one more not indeed an uncle, don’t know him, or my older half-brother, “father” beat my mother too you know.

Okay so back to B III and as I stood there, a bag full of over a hundred pills, over three months that I wouldn’t hesitate to buy again and I saw this other dog that needs a home, a family and if my little one wasn’t so old, ornery, and obstinate… Anyway so I’m driving, and I’m listening to my motivations, talking about not letting the past control you and I think of how I am and my son and our future, and there it is his obituary coming to mind. Everything I want to say to him, that it has been my honor and privilege to be his father, that if I have a chance in Hell of getting to Heaven, it will be but a word from him, and that I’m sorry I failed him. No mother, no two-legged siblings to protect, I didn’t give him the home that he ever deserved.

I’ve said before I owe Will Smith my life and as far as my “father” a man must look after his family but it was my little boy, who is a greater man than I could have possibly hoped to raise, who taught me about love, life, even lungs as I watch him breathe and I can. I love him like pancakes I always say because I couldn’t love him more if I poured the “Bisquick” and we have walked together, fought, lived and if there is any man I honestly do respect and would follow it’s my son, pathetic huh but not father, flag, or female has gotten so much; Stand At Attention Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 216 ~Its Ads Up, Will~

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The price of growing up free, you can take that in so many different ways, but I believe somebody said too damn high, and that makes my pillow the softest, safest, and most sellable thing ever. Its Ads Up Will.

Saturday, February 2, 2019

Episode 216 ~Its Ads Up, Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, perhaps being a pillow spokesmodel, the poster boy for energy shots, a pretty good example of why we need contraceptives in the universe may be. A plum lesson on how pretty girls control guys or maybe not, on the one hand, I sang to a girl on the other the MILF in her sexy lingerie hasn’t talked me out of any more money but vacations in San Diego, I mean seriously?

Speaking of possibly warmer climates, doesn’t that make me more human, that I have to talk myself into saving me, I think I need a Super Bowl ad and even those have been getting worse by the year and you know I’m not a sports fan. If you went by my Spotify you might think, I’m the most motivated man in existence; I don’t remember the last thing I listened to other than speeches, oh yeah singing to “Indiana Gone” and even that was depressing. B III might like to write a letter to whoever makes my clothes, not sure if it’s cotton but he keeps finding ways to lie on me, hell by his standards I’m probably second only to the sun I think.

If you look at my Amazon, it’s quite clear that I’m a shut-in or at least a closed off person judging by my gaming collection and books; I’m a story oriented type of individual to be sure from Detroit: Become Human to Far Cry 5 and I’m still not reading Lolita as I should be. So when we look at my search history, and you would think I’m either highly educated, someone that needs to be locked up behind bars or in a white padded cell. Again look at all my searches in the book Lolita for stuff I don’t understand in French and then finding myself looking at words like TERATOPHILIA… my last novel. My Pinterest and my Instagram, well two more reasons I’m a dominant and inspiring brothel owner, but they don’t have business plans for those things.

My point is as I’m always saying is that everything I want is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane so you can’t sell to me, you either want nothing or everything and you know where I fall into, and it’s too damn much. A few hours of my time, a few words, courage, a heart, having some balls, guts, then again yesterday I told Pizza Hut they were too high, $24.00 not to deliver a pizza and for damn sure I ain’t paying MORE to pick one up because everything in life, Its Ads Up, Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 209 ~Ye Of Little Will~

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Things I want to believe someday, I Love You, I Need You, I Miss You, I Believe In You, hell maybe that fourth one will be the hardest, and if I can’t say it to myself, why think anyone else will, WHY — Ye Of Little Will

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Episode 209 ~Ye Of Little Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, BELIEVE, now that doesn’t sound so hard does it; considering everything I choose to have faith in, that I’ll wake up at a decent hour, maybe I’ll be done by five, or that “Negan” coming for a visit will be good.

I shouldn’t use Negan in the context of my “father” because I like Negan in a way and speaking of things I believe in; the Dead, Walkers, Zombies, the virus known as Solanum. It’s out there in development by someone or something. It wouldn’t surprise me if we had The Happening, hopefully, better made and I do believe in aliens, “Indiana Gone” told me once that Earth is the planet aliens ride by with their windows up, perhaps there’s a Covenant, watching us right now. I’ve spoken a bit about watching Far Cry 5 playthroughs. Lately, The Project At Eden’s Gate, hell Lady Luna compare that to the world we see daily, the great collapse.

Now that is the question, how does one lose faith and that is something I can answer, WHY; when I was in the A.M.E. church I began asking why and aren’t I always saying it’s the questions without answers that get you. Why are you here, when your parents don’t want you, when everybody sees you as less than a person, and when you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning no wonder people believe that there is something out there bigger.

I didn’t mean to get so dark, but there are things I wish I could believe in, I believed in Santa until I was ahem nine and then I was terrible for taking that lie away from my sister; what about God… now that’s a big subject. There’s also B III, I believe, he’ll be with me until every one of his hairs turn grey, he’ll grow a beard and I’ll be explaining to a little girl and a little boy why their big brother, my little boy, and best friend won’t come home and then my wife will find me broken. My point is everything has us looking down, we all know we’re going to die and if you want to be up, to look up, pick up your feet, see that man in the mirror, lift that pen, punch those keys, please read that story and edit Will.

For now, if you asked for my gospel Lady Lu, I am a follower of “THEY,” what did they say, mean, and do, will THEY send me to Heaven or Hell, will I want to look at the sky or lay down and die, who will THEY be tomorrow but me… Ye Of Little Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 202 ~Scratch My Back Will~

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Is it strange that I sleep on my back when I know I have and sleep on my belly when I get a chance to relax some and what about B III or how they talk about “certain” girls and their jobs? Scratch My Back Will.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Episode 202 ~Scratch My Back Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, with whatever idea I pull out of my butt next, I could probably use a butt scratcher not that it ever made Peter Griffin a fortune, but at least he was out there. How many times have I heard “think outside the box” and while I’m doing all that thinking, tinkering, and theorizing, have I been living my purpose which is writing and so my dear I have had an epiphany?

How’s this for my purpose, I want everyone on their backs or stomachs in certain instances; ask me what I want, sleep, sex and silence so why so sinful, serious, and indeed there is no need for sorry is there? My whole damn world it seems at its core centers around the bedroom but what’s wrong with that other than the fact that there is so much world out there and how best to deal with it these days I ask you. If anything it starts with a good night’s sleep I believe? I’m still waking up at 2:15 every morning not that I’m doing much with it anymore and you remember I talked about my dream yesterday, yet have no idea where that’s going.

This morning I finished reading another novel, and after that, I looked at porn though I am still abstaining and I haven’t gone running back to the MILF; no profit but of course I want it to be. The first step though is writing; I want to write books that keep people up at night, stories that make people touch themselves, a novel that uncovers everything about someone. I’ve said this before, but I want to have a brothel, a harem, cathouse, ranch, whatever, what about movies and TV, video games, I tell you Lady Luna I’ve been everywhere girl.

Last but not least, you know how people talk about sex, they smashed, got laid, knocked boots, killed the punani, and it’s a disease this thing called love (I’m on a YouTube binge) and didn’t I say we need a new plague… not AIDS or anything of course. I’m thinking about my next read, and again I’m everywhere from zombies to taboo and one more saying of the pen becoming much more “potent” than any weapon, what torture to have people silenced and yet keep them alive. Such is my gift to the world, words, my will, and thoughts of WTF left unspoken; ask me not Scratch My Back Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 195 ~So Fear The Willing~

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The only person that should scare me is me and for once maybe not in the usual way, not that I have ever feared failure or success, I would be a monster, and currently, I’m The Walking Dead. So Fear The Willing

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Episode 195 ~So Fear The Willing~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, Dennis Hof did it, Donald Trump, hell someone even said let’s put sharks in a tornado; if those that they call out for their Depravity, a man that should be despised, something that sounds so dumb can make it? Don’t let me down, that’s what I need to say to the man in the mirror, my son who was crying in my arms, and who I want to become by September, if only I am willing to get there, I’m up.

At 2:15 AM for maybe the past week I have been up, my schedule at the Day Job and I rise, and how many times have I mentioned the “MILFS “well one in particular, I swear that never gets old… Aren’t we all though, which again makes me look at B III, he’s going to be fourteen, and that would put him around seventy-two; the stories he could tell and still that is up to me; seems that is becoming my new mantra. All this week it was, staying positive, the rising cost of living, and again staying awake, and what have I done with all that time, in words, books, savings, forming good habits.

Would you call breathing a habit? They say it’s not the breaths you take but the moments you go without it; now you know I’m a fan of The Walking Dead, which is how I feel but I say fear those who are willing to chase angels, why I’ll tell you honestly. There’s another assertion about the most dangerous of creations be it the man with nothing to lose or the (father) defending his young and aren’t I both? No one Lady Lu despite what pleasures get them there walks into Hell with a smile on their face but when one can walk out with one, and now that’s not always the case I know but Way Down Human Goes.

Nearly all my Motivations point out that it’s those that fall and are willing to get up, those who can go over the other guy (no matter how you look at it) and those that would die to win will. Iron Will, Force Of, 15% Concentrated, yesterday I said I didn’t want to be ashamed of my name, I wrote a whole piece once “Lesson 56 Respect On My Name” but maybe today I only want to remind myself of the man I could be NOW, So Fear The Willing.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 188 ~Open For Business Will~

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Define open, sitting here at the dining room table and not hiding in the bedroom, keeping a MILF content and you know what that takes… no not that, and not allowing the negative into myself today. “Open For Business Will,” get busy living right?

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Episode 188 ~Open For Business Will~

Hey Lady Lu,
How To Make One Million Dollars, as my motivations would suggest, there is a difference between I Want and I AM, I want to be rich, and I am rich, I want to see her naked and I am seeing her naked. I think to some of the greatest, Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner, Ron Jeremy and hopefully I‘m not jinxing Ron, him being alive but anyway Mr. Hof said something to the tune of he liked boobs, guys like boobs and with that, he built a business.

I should probably read his book “The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money” to gain insight; what is it about opening a book that suddenly makes one feel smarter. How about opening your wallet and I don’t mean for the typical, food primarily, but they say it’s better to give than to receive, though if I have talked about anything this week, it’s control over an exceptional MILF. When I want to open my mouth vs. I AM opening my mouth as it’s required, to be average, and not to feel alone, then there’s anything to do with B III, the reason I go to McDonald’s more often, how about to know what I’m talking about any given day.

Haven’t I mentioned Pandora’s Box; there are days like this where I feel… good, you see even now it’s a desperate fight to maintain the positive because when I’m open it’s letting all that evil into the universe and since I prefer my solitude you know what that means? Maybe I got a good night’s sleep whether I wanted it or not, of course, I watched “Cumming For You,” tailor-made porn… that’s what I have been looking up this morning; it’s a thing, Clips4Sale, ExtraLunchMoney, LifeSelector, and with all the porn, I haven’t cum all year, how’s that for honesty. That’s nothing against the MILF she’s divine. Anyway, my point is anything that can open, can close as well, and if you’re going to stay open 24/7 and 365 you have to surround yourself with beauty, with goodness and have you seen Walmart most days?

The men I mentioned before built the Heavens and slept with angels, and they were able to charge admission, and that’s what I want to do; now my poetry and novels are the plans, the blueprints but since the point has always been women regardless:

“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”
Marilyn Monroe

How I’ve gotten that done, and now I’m continually thinking about how best to turn this into power and profit rather than my collective pleasures and payment; the things women do, making me want to be a better man, staying positive, Open For Business Will.

I Will Have No Fear