Tag: Love

Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~

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Control, Command, Can Do attitude, the makings of a dominant am I right, though at the moment I’m a scared boy who wants a chocolate bar, some cookies, or plenty of milk… see, now how dirty was that? C The Word Will

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when I’m not Willy Wonka, Will Smith, or Willow to be sure, nope I’m only Will, that is unless I have chocolate, I utter some dirty words like cunt or clit, and again I’m working on having the cash and that’s for pretty much everything.

Chocolate though; any woman that knows me has seen my preferences when it comes to women, amazingly breasted, brunettes, craving dominance in the BDSM lifestyle and then I look at yesterday’s picture. Three blondes, three with black hair and not one brunette, I read somewhere that the only constant is CHANGE and once upon a time I found myself quite smitten when it came to Asian women, and I could not begin to tell you when it became brunettes for me; give things a chance? I don’t even remember being much of a chocolate kid, taste BUDS, CHOICES or how to escape the DEVIL; I learned from the A.M.E Church.

Cunt is not as dirty a word to me as church, to be truthful, I’ve gotten more women with “naughty” words than with a word of beauty; take a look at Will Smith, I still owe him my life but I heard his rap style changed and lately I’m more a fan of Tupac. Not saying either one uses the word cunt or clit but I’ve called women, whores, and sluts and let’s not get into my novels, my courtesans…

Cash, because for damn sure I better Find A Way because Dennis Hof lived in a Candy store, and while I don’t think much of religion but the “fictional” Project at Eden’s Gate is something to see, I would never go so far to make my bread, candy, or dick hard (thank you Faith Seed). I was watching the prosperity gospel at work, and I wish that were the worst thing I did all day and yes I know I’m ruining sexy time, but I needed it last night because I keep thinking I’m going to get canned, dismissed, excused, so yeah fired. Most of my dreams predict this, and though things get bad at work I somehow get by, but maybe that’s what that dream meant, that I need to change paths. Stop eating the chocolate first snickers because the Strawberry is the best, or merely saying I can’t love a black woman besides my momma because you know I’ll Always Love My Mama.

You know I’ve always believed in the B’s and yes B III but also Babes, Biology, and Bullion, with those you control the world, but cunts, cash, and chocolate, well that commands a particular sect of humanity, so stop saying I can’t and say I Can, I AM Will and so, C The Word Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 205 ~This Is Your Will~

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I’m not much of a talker, somebody thinks I should be a singer, and I guess I should get better at remembering holidays, MLK Day was yesterday, and I have a dream too that my future wife is reading these but if I could sing to her. This Is Your Will.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Episode 205 ~This Is Your Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I know it won’t be with my singing, though I’m a supporter of yours and let’s not take a survey of my musical selections except on Saturday mornings, when it’s all weird… 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, Project At Eden’s Gate, etc. You can tell plenty about a man with his taste in music because I don’t ever think I’ll be quite the talkative type, especially when we’re ordering in the drive-thru or over the phone; am I a man at all sigh… like B III’s bark compared to his bite, people are surprised I suppose.

By my selections; the fact that I like to sing, and while I’m not much of a dancer, as say they, like no one, is watching and wouldn’t it be everyone else that felt like fools since I got you after all. I’m sort of in an exploratory phase when it comes to audiobooks, and I always have my Motivations Playlist “Tell Me Something Good” again, one more reason I found the courage to even talk to you. What man could say he enjoys listening to a woman all day, Ellie Goulding, Sade, and of course you baby doll, one more way to keep something beautiful in my mind honestly.

Would that make you a siren, songstress, maybe one of many Disney sweethearts, though to this day the sound of my name on your lips, has to be the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard because it comes with no illusions, you listen to me. Even when I say nothing at all because I’m going to buy you a library, be it books, blockbusters, or things for the bedroom because I want to lie here with you in the silence. Though I hope you don’t think less of me but since I was a child and like Charlie Brown I figured I’d get Hitched at some point (case and point) I love how I can lie my head in your lap, and you sing Poor Sweet Baby, I guess Triple B has something there, plenty comfy.

When I don’t wish life was a zombie movie or some other type of horror flick, I’ve always wanted it to be a rock opera or the perfect movie soundtrack, and telling you my favorite song is safer than my favorite book… Easy Street. Not enough, how about “I Love You” well we still have plenty of stuff to talk about my baby girl; come Find Me, and you know I will because in the end, This Is Your Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 203 ~The Willingness To Shine~

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The Power of Will, Iron Will, if anything I’m dense enough, hardheaded, my heart like a stone and how I wish I could lift my feet but I shuffle around like a zombie but a vampire and wouldn’t need the light. “The Willingness To Shine.”

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Episode 203 ~The Willingness To Shine~

To Will:
How To Make A Million Dollars, other than discovering a diamond mine, there is no California Gold Rush unless you count the MILF and for now, stick to counting every single dollar, and what about the Midas Touch I brought up once before?

Illuminati if a nigga shine

I bet you wish you had that now, at least when it came to time, seriously how long did you sleep and reading isn’t exactly what you call work I mean it’s “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov for god’s sake. You want to hear God laugh but that’s the thing, last week I did nothing but plan, this week you’ll do nothing, but work and I do mean the day job; so much for the power of positivity. If you pour the Bisquick you have to expect pancakes, or as the last two days have gone, if you want the peanut butter you have to clean the knife, and speaking of more chores, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 028 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read Deal with the Devil (The Forge Trilogy #1)
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Don’t bother asking about the days, hell don’t bother asking about the sun, maybe you shouldn’t ask for anything but “The Will” and that means taking some responsibility, do you hear me Take Responsibility for Your Life. Remember that quote from The Last Jedi about hope, but unlike them, you have seen the sun, and even if it’s not there now, it only means you need to light a fire be the spark or whatever.

You see Iron is not meant to shine but how does the song go, “fire plus iron” and that Will is something you have plenty of with all, anger, lust, and pride; another one of your motivations goes, you can’t bury a seed, but a seed is meant to know burial. Iron comes from the Earth, Bruce Lee said to be like water and iron can be melted and formed into new shapes, beautiful, deadly, and with purpose as long as they are oiled, sharpened. That’s what these lists are for, to shine yourself up, to live your purpose, to channel your fire as Thor channeled “lightning” to his hammer but you have a pen, well a keyboard and again this week Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 028 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Now Moses had God to forge him but again with the motivations, you made you, this is the desert (no wonder you’re dry, you know what I mean) better you take B III as an example of determination, with meds you’re saving his life but what about yours, so you have The Willingness To Shine?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

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The words are still not coming easily but what can I say about myself keeping my brand of self-control but I’m not young anymore and if I had a million dollars, would I be a sugar daddy, a porno director, with a “P.Y.T.?” “A Willingly Lost Innocence”

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be Paris Hilton, Farrah Abraham, or Kim Kardashian, more to the point be the guy that gets to fuck them and have I been trying to be that man lately? I’m the man struggling to stay awake most days, but losing sleep to read erotica, money for MILF tits, and so much time daydreaming about being the man, which is hard to do when you’re working in “older” style bras.

Don’t get me wrong Dirty Diana, I’m all about the moms but besides the three I know and that defining fact you know what it is about them… innocence, I know I’ve talked about this before, but that guiltless nature of theirs. I know it was only yesterday I spoke of leaving the blameless painless, but that doesn’t count in the bedroom; what is it about putting angels through Hell that gets me going? Take my porno MILF, I will call her beautiful, divine, and everything in-between, but on camera, she’s my “little whore” with her “dirty mom tits” she’s a slut and the like. Only there is something about making a holy roller say those things. Oh so willing.

On the other hand, I’ve never appreciated someone who merely accepts those things, it’s like I’m an explorer and I want to dig that out of a girl, I want to discover it, unravel it and then cover it once again in ribbon, lace, chain, and all that is myself. A man of contradiction, for example, I do want to inflict pain, but at the same time I don’t desire a masochist, I want a girl to learn to appreciate it for my sake. Once upon a time, I had this fantasy of fucking an older model and her young apprentice but what guy doesn’t have the two girls fetish for a little while right?

Yeah more like two decades, I either want the forty-year-old or the twenty-year-old, still, as always I’m a greedy bastard and prefer them both which leads me back to my original question of how to make one million, not that I’m looking for a gold digger. If it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that money can talk any man out of prison and nearly any girl into Hell but to meet that one… “True Teen Babes,” Exploited College Girls, guess that answers the old vs. young question though I watch the MILF’s videos but the concept A Willingly Lost Innocence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

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I don’t need your approval, what I tell myself daily and part of that is because everyone has already agreed to the man they see now and God help me if I decide to change or if some girl likes what she sees in me. Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, though I can think of scarier questions, the first time I asked you out, will you marry me, how am I going to drive to the hospital during the winter months in the dark… praying for a summertime baby. I saw a movie once where this man said that a man doesn’t have to run around a woman, he tells her how things are, another man says he looked in the mirror and consulted with himself.

You know me baby-girl, or maybe you don’t, I’ll look at you longer than any mirror, my favorite thing on dates are movies, and of course, on Saturday mornings, lying here with you for two hours, maybe an hour, kids willing, listening to “Nuclear Pop.” Where does such a love come from, for you, our children, for dystopian societies and if I go by the logic of my first born “B III” I would say it was the moment I realized I was more scared of knowing you, terrified that anything outside could take you away, that I would have to explain everything. You see, you’re here, you see me when I can’t stand to look at myself, hear me when I run out of words from music, movies, and how many musings this year; is that the definition of love, being accepted for who you are, not needing approval?

How about forgetting who you are, and becoming what someone needs you to be, some Detroit Become Human right but no music today My Love, okay maybe a little but I go to work, and all day people are more than willing to accept me as they would have me but let me show them who I am? I’m done being the son my parents never wanted and as for your parents; as traditional as I am I would ask your father’s blessing but not his permission, I’m not looking for an alliance with France since taking French in high school. Having a daughter of our own, will I hope she finds a man like me… that’s why I want to be the man you need and every day I want to ask someone, anyone am I him, who approves?

It’s cold outside or don’t you believe me; Someday it won’t matter because as I begin every day, how to make one million dollars, fifty million, billion, five hundred billion but I’m not greedy and would the world approve of a man like me? At the end of the day you chose, the man you see before you, that you want, need, believe in, and love and It Doesn’t Matter what anyone else thinks because it’s Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 196 ~Love Is Like Will~

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Love in the context of myself is often a dirty word and there a few in this to give you fair warning, there’s also the want of green, and I’m not endorsing PCH, though I still search there but what about for the Man In The Mirror. “Love Is Like Will”

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Episode 196 ~Love Is Like Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, say you have a million dollars, and you’re there, you’re going to get it, but while you’re out, you might as well do a few things before you stop by to pick it up. I remember being heavy into PCH once upon a time, hell you are too, but I’m talking about hours upon hours of play, yeah I honestly missed writing, but I was all in for some simple paper, something green that didn’t make me jealous, sick or more monstrous.

Call it delusion, insanity, obsession, but I never liked it and would I have loved it, if it resulted in my winning… to be like John Wyllie (August 31st, 2012) or Tamar Howard (February 27, 2015). The 27th hurt the most because I remember going into work that day; I was watching the notices and knew that PCH was in town, and how confident was I that all that “hard work” was going to bear fruit, not the job but the games and what happened next? Nearly four years ago, if that had been you we wouldn’t be having this conversation, but again you didn’t want to do any of it, and here you are now, waking up at 2:15 AM every morning, reading, writing, sigh TRYING Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 014 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Finish The Art of the Pimp by Dennis Hof
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

There are days that you hate writing I know; you downright despise it, we can go back to the reason this started, and no I’m not talking about childhood dreams, like most things this is all because of a Bitch (Language), you’re acting like a Pussy (Will)… where’s the positive? The positive is, you can make every day like the 27th, not the failure, frustration, or the train of Fucks (stop already) today could be the day, as your Motivations go. If you want another F here’s one for you, FIGHT, Blessed Cause I Got Fight. The difference between PCH and what you are doing now and yes, you will continue to search with PCH and play the occasional game, not to mention the mailings because honestly, you like money a lot, but you love you and to become someone even better Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read Deal with the Devil (The Forge Trilogy #1)
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

When you looked at PCH you eventually only looking at other people and yes you don’t like most people… you called the veterinarian a jerk, and he saved B III’s life, and you love Triple B because he sees you. I feel sort of like O’Brien from George Orwell’s book 1984 telling you that you must love yourself, it’s not enough to read the words, to obey what I’m saying but you must look at the man in the mirror and know my friend the truth Love Is Like Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 193 ~The Air Of Will~

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Well, the sexy words won’t honestly come today, there is an air of worry and considering “The Art of the Pimp” Mr. Hof says never worry and when once you were working with angels spanking each other amongst other things but no. “The Air Of Will”

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Episode 193 ~The Air Of Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, say it, every day when I’m at the day job, there comes the point where I breathe those words and if I can conceive such a thought, then why not ask for more. Hell some people know, for example, the MILF who asked “Will you spank me, will you choke me,” did she believe she would say such things because let’s say that wasn’t my script, devil’s in the details.

My script, you’ll have to excuse me Dirty Diana, but it’s hard to feel all sorts of sexy with the crisis that is my son B III, watching him struggle before his vet appointment, fighting for air. Power, pleasure, pain, as the song goes and all elements of a spanking, hell to spank or to take it. Honestly, I’m down for either; maybe it’s when I was in the 4th or 5th grade and smacking a girl’s ass was the thing to do; I’ve taken spankings when I was a kid, or shall I blame the media. One day we will go over the rudiments of a good spanking, but again my hands, heart, and head are elsewhere, not wanting a swat but a sigh of relief Triple B’s okay.

I’ve read some on masturbation and how we stop breathing, and I’ve watched more than my fair share of “rough” pornos, choking can be a dangerous proposition; but if it turns you on, the things, I’ll “try” right? Truthfully I’m one for the vocal, dirty names, nasty words, moans and screams, and for the majority of my “choking” needs; unless a girl is gagging on my cock… though you don’t want to know how dark I can go with this. Again today is not that day, hearing “Okay” speaking good thoughts about my boy, every breath that he and I take because if he misses one, what will I do?

I’ve never wanted to be the thoughts and prayers type; why not do, I’ll rush into the cold winter air, listen to the cruel words of the vet I hate because I want to hear the natural breathing of family. No submissive with a collar, no release of pleasure or exclamation of pain, the sound of clothes hitting the floor, will ever match my fur baby and I at peace for the night; so much noise in a room full of air Dirty Diana, such is An Air Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 191 ~Just One More Will~

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I heard in a softcore um movie once that it’s a disease this thing called love, and if the world didn’t need it so badly I’d go ahead and declare us all zombies, but that’s for one more day maybe? Just One More Will

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Episode 191 ~Just One More Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when there are only twenty-four hours in a day but as Justin Timberlake/Will Salas said in the movie In Time “A day. You can do a lot in a day.” While I’m grateful for this one, I truly am, I’m also greedy, my first born can attest to that for love is a many splendid thing, love is patient, all you need is love but as I’ve started reading “The Art of the Pimp: One Man’s Search for Love, Sex, and Money.” Not that I’m asking for one more fight but This Love, is everlasting baby-girl.

Suddenly, I love you like one of my novels where I’m saying, one more page, then another minute, maybe let me bookmark one more passage, I’m waking up early to read for one more hour, and now we have a library. I look at B III, and I pray for one more breath of air sometimes… he’s getting older, one more day, he’ll be celebrating his fourteenth birthday in a month, another year, hell I want him protecting one more two-legged sibling, what do you think. Can I have one more girl in my life and then I meet you, then I have Aunt Jemima because I must have my pancakes right and how about Betty Crocker, then I have you in the novels I’m writing, I gain a daughter.

I remember the Genie from Aladdin saying he couldn’t make anyone fall in love, he couldn’t kill, or raise the dead and you can’t ask for more wishes because with those first three you might as well say infinity. I’ll never be religious, too many gods as is but I asked for someone to love (with only two legs), and here we are, forever hoping, wishing, and dreaming of one more word to equal these three, I Love You. Only we don’t need that one more word, a reason there was the invention of the kiss, for but a moment in time, humanity has enough.

Not enough moments like that though so we ask for that one more chance, be it a kiss on the forehead love, our lips meeting, our kids bringing us a smile, I’ll give as many as I can but don’t you want one more. There was a time when I dreamed I was too much and more so believing, I’m not enough but baby I’m yours, and you’re mine, and you ask me, only me incredibly “Just One More Will.”

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 186 ~Will Turns To Ink~

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All the ink I’ve spilled, there is not a doubt in my mind that I am meant to be a writer and worrying about B III keeps me on point most days and with the money, I have split between them, and here I want to be Reality Kings. Will Turns To Ink.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Episode 186 ~Will Turns To Ink~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a pimp, direct pornos, hell even gay for pay if I swung that way, so yeah I guess I understand that, $$$$ wouldn’t be enough for me to sell my body, though I have slightly loose morals… not that much. So baring that I decided to become a writer so I could be whatever I wanted but why wait; I waited too long and missed out on a great girl, there is the fact of “What’s My Age Again,” and dare I call myself INSATIABLE with several different things.

A healthy obsession, as my Motivations would put it; I asked some people what they think I’m obsessed with and without a doubt my son, all the money I have put on him, and he’s even shown up in a story here or there. As for books, my writing was the next thing and how could I not, again that’s what telling a story, writing a poem, talking to you even, it’s bleeding, it’s painful, it’s art, removing the poison from within. Maybe that’s the sin I should have told Inspector Echo because these days the blood has not become ink but different, with time.

Again I hate the holidays, but with the free time I have in abundance, I can’t say I have used it productively as much, my words nonexistent out of my mouth while I watch a beautiful woman moan my name over and over, when is the last time I’ve heard such divinity. My fingers possess the Midas Touch, how much gold is too much to lift them, and then I release those fortunes to see her “treasure box” to watch her skin glow, and how she does shine. My eyes as black as the devil, red from her fire or is it from a lack of sleep which is one more reason I’m not writing my story but instead, directing, producing, and geeking out about it. E.L. James had Christian Grey to write, I wonder how the Marquis de Sade got anything done and Todd Michaels book Begging For It, of course, is damn illegal.

“It’s a wonder that humankind has constructed any kind of civilization with this monumental distraction at hand.” Youth in Revolt

So of course why I have always known it’s possible (with varying degrees of success) living a bit of my story has made me “reluctant” okay downright lazy to write; if I could be like Jadis somewhat, who continued to be the artist but also became the paint. Where have my hands been, if anything I’m wiping the drool from my chin, I’m somewhat surprised I haven’t lost myself in any screen; I’m a cautionary tale of lust maybe because how Will Turns To Ink.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 184 ~Will’s Great Gut Instinct~

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Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Episode 184 ~Will’s Great Gut Instinct~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, well it doesn’t start with greatness, call it fear, hunger, having guts and those are the things you can never show anybody, but that million dollars, my first born child, and you my love are far more than greatness. When I go to the day job I could tell them I was great and it wouldn’t mean a goddamn thing, (a stickler for language), then my friends assure me I’m great and what is it about the breath, buttons, the belief that gets me to agree. My Motivations “What It Really Takes to Be Great,” fire me up without a doubt.

Only a Million dollars is great I want more, B III deserves more than that, and being beside you well that took more than the G-word, sometimes I imagine creating something more than the L-word I suppose. In a way it’s like Christmas Day, New Year’s, the high holiness of Valentine’s Day and what about your birthday, as Ellie Goulding sings it, How Long Will I Love You, and that’s not a one-day thing, a yearly event, though birthdays are like a month right? I heard once that it’s a disease this thing called love, and honestly, I believe that. I mean the things that it makes us do, it’s physical effects on us, and the final result of course.

It’s great isn’t it, like that time I spilled my Sprite at work and when from sickness to panicked cleaner or when I was ready to fight that Goliath, it’s that day when I first saw you and my day is full of love songs and my nights full of blues. You know I’m not one for the Aliens franchise, but I can relate to the agony easily, I don’t drink a whole lot but to be Drunk On You sigh, it’s like being in that hotel again as a kid grabbing a mountain of bacon. How can something be so right and so wrong at the same time, I swear it’s like eating breakfast for once and wondering why I’m stuck in bed. Trying new things in the kitchen and suddenly, Too Much Sauce, going to McDonald’s every day because the cashier “like me” (well I added ten minutes to the next location right)?

My point is I don’t think I’m great, I won’t always feel great even if you say, and Hell I want to be even more than that because you and I, Triple B, our other children we all deserve so much more from me, and that’s going to take courage, a full stomach, figuring things out. I promise you baby girl that I Will; I will because I’m a man, maybe not a great one but I can feel that from head to heel Baby I’m Yours. And while I’m much more of a “Co-Ed Confidential” aficionado, the need, the hunger, for you are so sweet, that I could not deny Will’s Great Gut Instinct.

“Don’t try to be a great man. Just be a man and let history make its own judgments.” Zefram Cochrane

I Will Have No Fear