Tag: Love

Episode 221 ~Can Be Border Will~

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Anywhere but here, indeed what do I do here but sleep and dream of something better and if I’m awake the little head isn’t helping either, always on edge and trust me that’s not glory, no somebody else is marrying “J Law” *sigh*. “Can Be Border Will”

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Episode 221 ~Can Be Border Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a private detective, think about it, I’ve already had some call me a stalker, like I would waste my time, then again how bored am I, idle hands and all. Take for example yesterday how I found another way to kill time, I take one photo of some European models and next thing you know I have a whole new gallery ready to go.

Pinterest is another time suck though that’s more “research” hell Dennis Hof built over half a dozen bordellos, filled with girls to his liking, only as “Cherry” pointed out I’m only creating a spank bank. I suppose some men dream of going to Bora, Bora, is moving to Las Vegas not big enough or more like Carson City, now that’s a life goal but while I want to tour the world one day “when” I get that far I want to run the place. Keeping my eyes open as it were but from the moment I was born, I became aware everything I wanted was wrong in one way, shape or form, the feminine form.

It’s like I have something akin to borderline personality disorder but then again what do I know, as a matter of fact, my Dirty Diana, what does anybody know about me… yeah, this is going to be less sexy than I hoped, but I’m on edge slightly. My relief is borne from my words hopefully. Even my characters are usually a bunch of smarty pants that read into their hustle, hoes, and hijinks; and this type of work I don’t find hard at all, and it would undoubtedly beat organizing shoes. Talk about boring, but it kept me from watching the clock and that I’m still doing; when your enemy is bound to show up any minute; knowing why you hate them so much honestly.

I could probably use a nice Bordeaux right about now if I were a drinker, but I only have one drug of choice, and I’m trying desperately to keep it under wraps because if I saw her or them naked… a man can dream. So much for my boredom am I right but let a man live in his fantasy even if it winds up sending him straight to Hell but the big head and the little one are stopping cold, and with good reason indeed; Can Be Border Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 219 ~Will Walk With Me~

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“Run boy run” as the song goes and the sitting down only gives me more time to think about the job I’m running away from or getting kicked out of, what about exercise and then again Office Space much? “Will Walk With Me”

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Episode 219 ~Will Walk With Me~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, talk in a funny voice, maybe like the first time I asked you out, that moment at your door, how about getting a word in edgewise when we took B III for a walk. As always I am a traditionalist so was it standing there waiting for you or watching you walk down that aisle, the running to be by your side when I honestly “poured the Bisquick” and ta-da more kids, and then there are days like these my love.

You know how I guard my words but truthfully, walking up to you… it was like a graveyard at night, the first charge of a battle, taking Dante’s place in the Inferno but what did I expect wanting to reach an angel. It was wanting your company more than the air that I breathe and yet feeling like I’ve run a marathon, every breath, knock knees, heartbeats cascading with every footstep. “THEY,” say dogs know people but my little boy, “He Don’t Love You Like I Love You,” but with all his barking and pulling, hell that was an easy walk, and I took your hand in mine… where are we going, we didn’t ask.

All I know is that I wanted you beside me and again, I’m for tradition but not a church guy and yet there I was to know Heaven’s Light, and I asked myself what took me so long, time to make turtle soup, give up childish things. Only I’m not feeling my age; I want to teach the kids about Star Wars, rush back and forth watching The Walking Dead, even stand in line for movies the likes of Trolls. Today though all I want to ever know in this life is I’m Coming Home To You to rant, rave, respite, and relief lie imminent, to find rest, a moment where I never need travel.

It’s amazing how many steps I’ve taken for people that don’t give a shit about me (yeah I don’t like swearing, intelligent but a bit pedestrian) so the question is why did it take me so long to move towards, well something, someone that I love? Sometimes I’m not the man I want to be, sometimes I think I’m not the man you need, and when I was a boy it was walking no running, we can just lay here, only my love can you ask, Will Walk With Me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLfrRhvQEYU

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 214 ~Will A Tight Lip~

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Shut-Up, sit down, scratch, or more like punch the keys, get to grinding but I instead stay between the sheets, the bar searching, or the billfold, pretending I’m doing something, thinking of all I should honestly be doing. Will A Tight Lip

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Episode 214 ~Will A Tight Lip~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, if anything my mind is quite tight-lipped about these things but then I ask myself again, what am I scratching about, which pains do I stifle, and why do I continue a seemingly endless search.

I have plenty of time to be angry about what I’m not writing but as for what I am beside this conversation; names, nickels, and the Neanderthal ways of lesser men I would like to think. Something I have discovered about an aversion to “Fapping” if I have not said this before but your hunter’s instincts turn up quite a few notches; it makes you want to go out, makes the once ordinary extraordinary, and of course the idea to O, how else did the MILF get to me. I’m still staring at her tits, that’s how she wound up in my last novel but now it’s all cosplayers, pretty playthroughs, and Prom Night, I do mean with Whitney Wright, a younger reminder of two of my favorite MILFs honestly.

I’ve barely been keeping it in my pants, so yeah plenty of pain and the thing I learned about pain is either people can’t hear, hurry it, or help “mostly.” One more reason I’m a dominant, I need a submissive’s pain to be louder than mine, I don’t want her to crave it, but I don’t want her to hide from it or wish it away. As always with everything, I want to feel useful, of course, there’s aftercare but more, doctor’s flit between life and death, I want to go between pleasure and pain.

“The G-Spot…” between two pussy lips, how about the tongue, the moment a dollar bill exchanges hands, the pages between cover to cover and yet everything above that is what dictates whether we go on that journey, beauty, brains, bucks, etc. Didn’t mean to go with all my philosophy today but I guess I’ve lost myself in pictures on Pinterest attempting to find one particular gallery that for all I know might not even exist anymore. Will and the lost pin, pretty face, even porno, and already I have more than I would ever need; yet a reason to want to produce more with books, brothels, and breaths because you know you hold one in right before, well blast off.

Now that’s the one thing that I don’t hide, days counting, I want to be better, plus I’m not a celebrity in some rehab or prison yet… I keep things to myself these days, but that’s because I’m so lazy honestly; Will A Tight Lip.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

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Last week I said something about not being much of a talker and today, quite by accident I got a look in the mirror and found out why I shouldn’t open my mouth… better to smile with my eyes or even my lips. “Tooth Of Will’s Smile”

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Episode 212 ~Tooth Of Will’s Smile~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, better yet, what would I feel if I had it already, what if Publishers Clearing House rolled up right now, published a book, maybe having a publishing house one day? A smirk, a dreamy sigh, but a smile, there was a time. B III was my family, and I think about how I lived back then and what he and I needed, joy, faith, hope, of course, I call you love, but a smile wasn’t required.

Even now, my love, I can give you as many smiles as you would like, I’m sure if my firstborn weren’t eating, licking, or guarding he would wear one now, I want our children to be happy every single day. I am too but wearing a smile… THEY say it takes more muscles to frown than to smile but why do you think I’m so strong, trust me carrying a collection of grins is no easy task which is why I give them away so quickly. Maybe I want people to see this beautiful family we are, did we ever discuss the tooth fairy situation, and I go back to that quote from “Deep Down.”

“Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It’s harsh and cruel. But that’s why there’s us – champions. It doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world is as it should be, to show it what it can be.” Angel

Is it wrong that I keep my smile from the children, again Triple B doesn’t care (developing cataracts, poor thing) but when the others are giving money to the ice cream man, imagining the story as I read to them, or wearing a mask on Halloween? Did you mind, the first time we kissed; like my B III, I can eat plenty of your cooking (the big piece of chicken) or how about waking up in the morning beside me. Now I want to hide my smile even from myself or like most things I do it differently because… yeah I know you’ll tell me not to worry when I look in a mirror and when I call you beautiful, even with my mouth it doesn’t make it any less real, your smile matters more.

Mine though, well, I still wear glasses for a reason, I wouldn’t fool around with Lasik but this is America and being a successful author, running a business, having a family, I’m happy even if the pearly whites won’t say it, but I suppose one day I’ll “try.” Can I show you what I feel without it, a requirement, to laugh, to talk, and hopefully we don’t go back to a vampire or werewolf craze though I liked Twilight, Blood and Chocolate, Underworld, and let’s not forget zombies Warm Bodies, yours and mine this is happiness, Tooth Of Will’s Smile.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~

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Control, Command, Can Do attitude, the makings of a dominant am I right, though at the moment I’m a scared boy who wants a chocolate bar, some cookies, or plenty of milk… see, now how dirty was that? C The Word Will

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Episode 207 ~C The Word Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, when I’m not Willy Wonka, Will Smith, or Willow to be sure, nope I’m only Will, that is unless I have chocolate, I utter some dirty words like cunt or clit, and again I’m working on having the cash and that’s for pretty much everything.

Chocolate though; any woman that knows me has seen my preferences when it comes to women, amazingly breasted, brunettes, craving dominance in the BDSM lifestyle and then I look at yesterday’s picture. Three blondes, three with black hair and not one brunette, I read somewhere that the only constant is CHANGE and once upon a time I found myself quite smitten when it came to Asian women, and I could not begin to tell you when it became brunettes for me; give things a chance? I don’t even remember being much of a chocolate kid, taste BUDS, CHOICES or how to escape the DEVIL; I learned from the A.M.E Church.

Cunt is not as dirty a word to me as church, to be truthful, I’ve gotten more women with “naughty” words than with a word of beauty; take a look at Will Smith, I still owe him my life but I heard his rap style changed and lately I’m more a fan of Tupac. Not saying either one uses the word cunt or clit but I’ve called women, whores, and sluts and let’s not get into my novels, my courtesans…

Cash, because for damn sure I better Find A Way because Dennis Hof lived in a Candy store, and while I don’t think much of religion but the “fictional” Project at Eden’s Gate is something to see, I would never go so far to make my bread, candy, or dick hard (thank you Faith Seed). I was watching the prosperity gospel at work, and I wish that were the worst thing I did all day and yes I know I’m ruining sexy time, but I needed it last night because I keep thinking I’m going to get canned, dismissed, excused, so yeah fired. Most of my dreams predict this, and though things get bad at work I somehow get by, but maybe that’s what that dream meant, that I need to change paths. Stop eating the chocolate first snickers because the Strawberry is the best, or merely saying I can’t love a black woman besides my momma because you know I’ll Always Love My Mama.

You know I’ve always believed in the B’s and yes B III but also Babes, Biology, and Bullion, with those you control the world, but cunts, cash, and chocolate, well that commands a particular sect of humanity, so stop saying I can’t and say I Can, I AM Will and so, C The Word Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 205 ~This Is Your Will~

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I’m not much of a talker, somebody thinks I should be a singer, and I guess I should get better at remembering holidays, MLK Day was yesterday, and I have a dream too that my future wife is reading these but if I could sing to her. This Is Your Will.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Episode 205 ~This Is Your Will~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I know it won’t be with my singing, though I’m a supporter of yours and let’s not take a survey of my musical selections except on Saturday mornings, when it’s all weird… 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, Project At Eden’s Gate, etc. You can tell plenty about a man with his taste in music because I don’t ever think I’ll be quite the talkative type, especially when we’re ordering in the drive-thru or over the phone; am I a man at all sigh… like B III’s bark compared to his bite, people are surprised I suppose.

By my selections; the fact that I like to sing, and while I’m not much of a dancer, as say they, like no one, is watching and wouldn’t it be everyone else that felt like fools since I got you after all. I’m sort of in an exploratory phase when it comes to audiobooks, and I always have my Motivations Playlist “Tell Me Something Good” again, one more reason I found the courage to even talk to you. What man could say he enjoys listening to a woman all day, Ellie Goulding, Sade, and of course you baby doll, one more way to keep something beautiful in my mind honestly.

Would that make you a siren, songstress, maybe one of many Disney sweethearts, though to this day the sound of my name on your lips, has to be the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard because it comes with no illusions, you listen to me. Even when I say nothing at all because I’m going to buy you a library, be it books, blockbusters, or things for the bedroom because I want to lie here with you in the silence. Though I hope you don’t think less of me but since I was a child and like Charlie Brown I figured I’d get Hitched at some point (case and point) I love how I can lie my head in your lap, and you sing Poor Sweet Baby, I guess Triple B has something there, plenty comfy.

When I don’t wish life was a zombie movie or some other type of horror flick, I’ve always wanted it to be a rock opera or the perfect movie soundtrack, and telling you my favorite song is safer than my favorite book… Easy Street. Not enough, how about “I Love You” well we still have plenty of stuff to talk about my baby girl; come Find Me, and you know I will because in the end, This Is Your Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 203 ~The Willingness To Shine~

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The Power of Will, Iron Will, if anything I’m dense enough, hardheaded, my heart like a stone and how I wish I could lift my feet but I shuffle around like a zombie but a vampire and wouldn’t need the light. “The Willingness To Shine.”

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Episode 203 ~The Willingness To Shine~

To Will:
How To Make A Million Dollars, other than discovering a diamond mine, there is no California Gold Rush unless you count the MILF and for now, stick to counting every single dollar, and what about the Midas Touch I brought up once before?

Illuminati if a nigga shine

I bet you wish you had that now, at least when it came to time, seriously how long did you sleep and reading isn’t exactly what you call work I mean it’s “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov for god’s sake. You want to hear God laugh but that’s the thing, last week I did nothing but plan, this week you’ll do nothing, but work and I do mean the day job; so much for the power of positivity. If you pour the Bisquick you have to expect pancakes, or as the last two days have gone, if you want the peanut butter you have to clean the knife, and speaking of more chores, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 028 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Read Deal with the Devil (The Forge Trilogy #1)
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

Don’t bother asking about the days, hell don’t bother asking about the sun, maybe you shouldn’t ask for anything but “The Will” and that means taking some responsibility, do you hear me Take Responsibility for Your Life. Remember that quote from The Last Jedi about hope, but unlike them, you have seen the sun, and even if it’s not there now, it only means you need to light a fire be the spark or whatever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDmLAn9BCCs

You see Iron is not meant to shine but how does the song go, “fire plus iron” and that Will is something you have plenty of with all, anger, lust, and pride; another one of your motivations goes, you can’t bury a seed, but a seed is meant to know burial. Iron comes from the Earth, Bruce Lee said to be like water and iron can be melted and formed into new shapes, beautiful, deadly, and with purpose as long as they are oiled, sharpened. That’s what these lists are for, to shine yourself up, to live your purpose, to channel your fire as Thor channeled “lightning” to his hammer but you have a pen, well a keyboard and again this week Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 028 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read “Lolita” Vladimir Nabokov
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

Now Moses had God to forge him but again with the motivations, you made you, this is the desert (no wonder you’re dry, you know what I mean) better you take B III as an example of determination, with meds you’re saving his life but what about yours, so you have The Willingness To Shine?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

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The words are still not coming easily but what can I say about myself keeping my brand of self-control but I’m not young anymore and if I had a million dollars, would I be a sugar daddy, a porno director, with a “P.Y.T.?” “A Willingly Lost Innocence”

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Episode 200 ~A Willingly Lost Innocence~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, be Paris Hilton, Farrah Abraham, or Kim Kardashian, more to the point be the guy that gets to fuck them and have I been trying to be that man lately? I’m the man struggling to stay awake most days, but losing sleep to read erotica, money for MILF tits, and so much time daydreaming about being the man, which is hard to do when you’re working in “older” style bras.

Don’t get me wrong Dirty Diana, I’m all about the moms but besides the three I know and that defining fact you know what it is about them… innocence, I know I’ve talked about this before, but that guiltless nature of theirs. I know it was only yesterday I spoke of leaving the blameless painless, but that doesn’t count in the bedroom; what is it about putting angels through Hell that gets me going? Take my porno MILF, I will call her beautiful, divine, and everything in-between, but on camera, she’s my “little whore” with her “dirty mom tits” she’s a slut and the like. Only there is something about making a holy roller say those things. Oh so willing.

On the other hand, I’ve never appreciated someone who merely accepts those things, it’s like I’m an explorer and I want to dig that out of a girl, I want to discover it, unravel it and then cover it once again in ribbon, lace, chain, and all that is myself. A man of contradiction, for example, I do want to inflict pain, but at the same time I don’t desire a masochist, I want a girl to learn to appreciate it for my sake. Once upon a time, I had this fantasy of fucking an older model and her young apprentice but what guy doesn’t have the two girls fetish for a little while right?

Yeah more like two decades, I either want the forty-year-old or the twenty-year-old, still, as always I’m a greedy bastard and prefer them both which leads me back to my original question of how to make one million, not that I’m looking for a gold digger. If it’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that money can talk any man out of prison and nearly any girl into Hell but to meet that one… “True Teen Babes,” Exploited College Girls, guess that answers the old vs. young question though I watch the MILF’s videos but the concept A Willingly Lost Innocence.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

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I don’t need your approval, what I tell myself daily and part of that is because everyone has already agreed to the man they see now and God help me if I decide to change or if some girl likes what she sees in me. Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, though I can think of scarier questions, the first time I asked you out, will you marry me, how am I going to drive to the hospital during the winter months in the dark… praying for a summertime baby. I saw a movie once where this man said that a man doesn’t have to run around a woman, he tells her how things are, another man says he looked in the mirror and consulted with himself.

You know me baby-girl, or maybe you don’t, I’ll look at you longer than any mirror, my favorite thing on dates are movies, and of course, on Saturday mornings, lying here with you for two hours, maybe an hour, kids willing, listening to “Nuclear Pop.” Where does such a love come from, for you, our children, for dystopian societies and if I go by the logic of my first born “B III” I would say it was the moment I realized I was more scared of knowing you, terrified that anything outside could take you away, that I would have to explain everything. You see, you’re here, you see me when I can’t stand to look at myself, hear me when I run out of words from music, movies, and how many musings this year; is that the definition of love, being accepted for who you are, not needing approval?

How about forgetting who you are, and becoming what someone needs you to be, some Detroit Become Human right but no music today My Love, okay maybe a little but I go to work, and all day people are more than willing to accept me as they would have me but let me show them who I am? I’m done being the son my parents never wanted and as for your parents; as traditional as I am I would ask your father’s blessing but not his permission, I’m not looking for an alliance with France since taking French in high school. Having a daughter of our own, will I hope she finds a man like me… that’s why I want to be the man you need and every day I want to ask someone, anyone am I him, who approves?

It’s cold outside or don’t you believe me; Someday it won’t matter because as I begin every day, how to make one million dollars, fifty million, billion, five hundred billion but I’m not greedy and would the world approve of a man like me? At the end of the day you chose, the man you see before you, that you want, need, believe in, and love and It Doesn’t Matter what anyone else thinks because it’s Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 196 ~Love Is Like Will~

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Love in the context of myself is often a dirty word and there a few in this to give you fair warning, there’s also the want of green, and I’m not endorsing PCH, though I still search there but what about for the Man In The Mirror. “Love Is Like Will”

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Episode 196 ~Love Is Like Will~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, say you have a million dollars, and you’re there, you’re going to get it, but while you’re out, you might as well do a few things before you stop by to pick it up. I remember being heavy into PCH once upon a time, hell you are too, but I’m talking about hours upon hours of play, yeah I honestly missed writing, but I was all in for some simple paper, something green that didn’t make me jealous, sick or more monstrous.

Call it delusion, insanity, obsession, but I never liked it and would I have loved it, if it resulted in my winning… to be like John Wyllie (August 31st, 2012) or Tamar Howard (February 27, 2015). The 27th hurt the most because I remember going into work that day; I was watching the notices and knew that PCH was in town, and how confident was I that all that “hard work” was going to bear fruit, not the job but the games and what happened next? Nearly four years ago, if that had been you we wouldn’t be having this conversation, but again you didn’t want to do any of it, and here you are now, waking up at 2:15 AM every morning, reading, writing, sigh TRYING Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 014 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 020 No Fap)
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
    Failed
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
    Failed
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
    Failed
  5. I Will Finish The Art of the Pimp by Dennis Hof
    Completed
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel
    Failed

There are days that you hate writing I know; you downright despise it, we can go back to the reason this started, and no I’m not talking about childhood dreams, like most things this is all because of a Bitch (Language), you’re acting like a Pussy (Will)… where’s the positive? The positive is, you can make every day like the 27th, not the failure, frustration, or the train of Fucks (stop already) today could be the day, as your Motivations go. If you want another F here’s one for you, FIGHT, Blessed Cause I Got Fight. The difference between PCH and what you are doing now and yes, you will continue to search with PCH and play the occasional game, not to mention the mailings because honestly, you like money a lot, but you love you and to become someone even better Six Impossible Things:

  1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 020 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
  3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
  4. I Will Review Depredation By Natalie Bennett
  5. I Will Read Deal with the Devil (The Forge Trilogy #1)
  6. I Will Edit One Chapter Of My Newly Written Novel

When you looked at PCH you eventually only looking at other people and yes you don’t like most people… you called the veterinarian a jerk, and he saved B III’s life, and you love Triple B because he sees you. I feel sort of like O’Brien from George Orwell’s book 1984 telling you that you must love yourself, it’s not enough to read the words, to obey what I’m saying but you must look at the man in the mirror and know my friend the truth Love Is Like Will.

I Will Have No Fear