Tag: Truth

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

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I’ve been listening less to the Pussycat Dolls and more to daily motivations. Spotify told me that my most played song this year has been “Sucker For Pain.” Good thing I didn’t win the presidency. “Pushing My Buttons Willie,” none connected to bombs

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Gospel 157 ~Pushing My Buttons Willie~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and even with all this cash, I’ll still buy hoodies. In a way, I’m starting to feel like Linus; only my blue blanket is a black hoodie. Trevor Noah stole my look, right? I’m sure this isn’t the 1st time I’ve talked about such fashion choices. For now, I’m only trying to keep a pair of pants on for “obvious” reasons. I’ve already failed my Six Impossible Things for this week, but I can try. Lady Lu, I should go to the door and see if my newest NaNoWriMo shirt’s arrived.

That is what I call trying to cheer myself up because today has been one of those days. It’s only what now 10:05 AM. I was fighting with my alarm at around 5 AM. So yeah, I’ve been “diddling” around for about 5 hours. Well, until my Dæmon’s Medication Time. Didn’t I say something about him being all Nakey the other day (collarless)? Putting the collar back on and taking it off is getting easier. We also have him back on schedule, but he still wants hotdogs. I almost blew the microwave up in some way, I don’t know. $500.00 wouldn’t seem like much by comparison? Why yes, Lady Lu, I’m still “salty” at Serra Hyundai. Now I’m all sorts of worried about my car, and I haven’t left the house in how long? Every day I’m agreeing more with the Trumptards… Ignorance Is Bliss.

But I don’t want to be ignorant. As we have gone over again and again. STUPID is possibly the worse word in the English language. So I push buttons to read books every day. Am I learning from, um, Abby Knox, Eric Vall, or even my own work left unedited? I finally got back into Far Cry 5 the other day and, in less than a minute, blew something up? Yes, it was an accident. How about the times I died jumping off cliffs without my wingsuit deployed? I’ll try again tonight. Ok, try some hunting, ha. Speaking about guns… Yes, I’ll stick to video games or YouTube for now. All I’m doing is wasting time, even when I go to sleep on time. Ok, I’ll admit, an hour later, but I was talking to M. Anime. Please don’t let me screw this up seriously.

My mouth, my fingers, my pants. Pushing My Buttons Willie

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 156 ~Too Much Sauce Will~

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Maybe I miss the Blazin’ sauce from B-Dubs; I would put it on everything. Only getting ready for Hell, though the book description I wrote today amazingly doesn’t sound anything like it. Yeah, just hand it to NaNoWriMo. Too Much Sauce Will.

Friday, December 4, 2020

Gospel 156 ~Too Much Sauce Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can bring back Buffalo Wild Wings (Blazin’) sauce. Yes, I keep up with the news. I do remember the trouble last year—racism at B-Dubs. However, last Saturday, I went with my second best friend and her hubby. Now I know something was off. Nothing happened. I only mean I didn’t read they had Blazin’ sauce on the menu anymore. Speaking of things I didn’t read or wish I hadn’t. I’m still “salty” at Serra Hyundai. $500.00, no way. Now there’s still Coronavirus.

Of course, they’re not shutting down the Day Job because of it. Hell, I could use the money because of the “dang,” car. I’m sure there is a file somewhere showing a few pennies raise. Doubtful as Coronavirus strikes again, so as somebody said the rich get richer as so. Meanwhile, I’m no longer reading about how to get my Dæmon’s nail from out of his collar. Yeah, I took the collar off, but you know how he can be… I wish there were alternatives to, um, him hating my guts. He’s cuddled up with me, yet Depression lingers. He’s quiet, but my smartphone, with its bleeps and bops, is starting to drive me out of my mind. Sometimes it’s stupid emails. Others, it’s Twitter that I don’t want to stop because, as the song goes. “I feel STUPID.” I wish I had freedom like Elliot Page, formerly Ellen Page.

No, not like that. You can check every Thursday for the past few years. What I mean is, not living as you desire, having to hide, so much. It’s too much trying to cover-up what you really are. Which brings me to get some work done um, my book description:

Going to the chapel and he’s gonna get BURIED

An apple a day keeps a doctor away… too bad he’s marrying her. Win Bridgman, having buried his Cherry, is looking to HAPPIER days. Cuddled with the future, Mrs. Bridgman. Once Dr. Sarah Haven. But what’s the Garden of Eden when one has been to Heaven above or Hell below. At least he still runs “The Moondust,” which is now a family affair.

Between his adopted son, The Master. Evie Barrett, his daughter-in-law, the newly crowned “Mistress Moondust.” Along with his wife to be, the Madam. Why isn’t he HAPPY at all?

Saving Cherry hadn’t worked, and how long does it take a man to forget. If Sarah has it her way, he better not forget about one more girl she put in the ground. Most relationships began with a series of lies. Sarah’s and Win’s, however, was the fact she had forgotten her ole “Hippocratic Oath,” some time long ago.

She wasn’t the only one, from politicians to Cherry’s father. What of the new girls in town threatening her place beside Win?

Uh-hmm maybe, Too Much Sauce Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 152 ~Listen And Silent, Same Letters~

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I want to listen to all those who won NaNoWriMo 2020. I need to silence the voices going off in my head that it was a complete waste of time. What about my second BFF that asks have I published a book yet. “Listen And Silent, Same Letters.”

Monday, November 30, 2020

Gospel 152 ~Listen And Silent, Same Letters~

Hundred And Sixty-Four Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I believe it’s because I listen and learn. Of course, that’s when I’m not being lazy. Now before I go off flying headfirst into my depression, let’s start with good news. I finished NaNoWriMo today with Sinning The Cherry On Top. According to NaNoWriMo, this is my fourth victory in the annual event, so how do I feel? Okay, bring on the depression. My hands smell like hotdogs. Of course, I have my Dæmon and my laziness to thank for that. Oh, my ending goes nowhere.

Now, this is the time I should practice with SILENCE. Madam Justice, I was about to ask this question. What does it take to shut-up the voices in my head? I’m not a big drinker, and another addiction had me ruin my Six Impossible Things. My characters are done now. I would say that a goodnight’s sleep would help. Even tonight, however, I’m going to be in bed late. What are the odds I can get to bed before midnight? Not that I haven’t spent most of the day in bed already. Hell, that’s where I finished NaNoWriMo, around six. Well, I have time for a new addiction, and you know I’ve been jonesing to get back into an old one. Every night I usually go to bed telling myself stories from Far Cry 5. When I play games. I could have the meanest gun in all of creation, I’m still quiet. Um, M60 much?

I bring to your attention two phrases… “Knowledge Is Power” and “Silence Is Golden.” Now, don’t I sound educated? I dropped out of college COUGH junior college. Don’t get me wrong, I respect education. The thing is, um, I’m always listening for things I want. Yeah, one more of those reasons that make me sound like a Trump supporter. I liked hearing Indiana Gone’s voice. I’m reading Eric Vall. Well, NaNoWriMo said congratulations on the victory. However, they extend that to everyone. I’m not special. Remind me to go ahead and shop for one of their shirts before the end of the night since I will be up. It wasn’t like I was listening to any of my motivations for this NaNoWriMo event either. Yeah, I finished here on the last day. What’s the point?

Am I the strong silent type? Don’t I wish, ha? Listen And Silent, Same Letters

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

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I should just work through the night. Hell, I could get back to using energy drinks and be sick for a week, but at least I’ll be done. You know that saying, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” “Will Makes It Possible,”

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Gospel 150 ~Will Makes It Possible~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but right now, I feel anything but. Here and Now… no, I don’t promise to love faithfully as the song goes. Hell, I abandoned you for years, and I’m still sorry about that. Anyway, I feel like David from The Fifth Element. I’m looking at the stone, which is my story. Not to mention another rock here or there. Okay, what I’m trying to say is AHEM, we’re not going to make it. I need 2000 plus words to finish on the 30th. Where am I now? I slept today away. I could give up plenty.

No, I don’t want to fail NaNoWriMo. What I mean is reading, an online game. I haven’t even looked at The Walking Dead game forever. You know I like Eric Vall, but it was a fight to stay woke. My other joy, I won’t mention but again, Six Impossible Things. Don’t you dare compare me to Trump; I take responsibility for my actions. Did I mention that my BFF, or should I say my 2nd BFF is in town? Um, my Dæmon has been a trooper today resting with his old man’s lazybones. Now, this week sucked ass, yep. So anyway, Indiana Gone and her hubby want to go to lunch. “Must Ee Nice” to be married a year; another song. Not like I’m getting any closer. I won’t lie; I’m scared to death to even say something to a woman now. Am I shy? I was holding my tongue at the Day Job, thankfully.

I’m forgetting so much, Lady Lu. Do you remember when I told you I’m watching an artist? I have no clue who it was, and I haven’t checked my money situation in ages. Everything has been either about NaNoWriMo or going to bed. Where do you think I’m typing from? Tonight though, I am trying. I’ll talk to you until 9:00 PM, and then come hell or high water, I’ll go have my Thanksgiving leftovers. Once again, Lady Lu, I will not lie to NaNoWriMo again. Either I make it, or I don’t. If I don’t, I won’t be buying another NaNoWriMo T-Shirt. Yes, I said purchase, but it’s like I wouldn’t deserve it if I fail. Tomorrow is lunch and of course TWD spinoffs, which I won’t miss ever.

I need that motivation in writing. Will Makes It Possible

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 149 ~Lies In Line Will~

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NaNoWriMo’s last day is Monday, and I’m around 8,000 words short of the finish line. Do you even need to ask what I was doing on Thursday and tonight? One more lie for a story that will never be. “Lies In Line Will”

Friday, November 27, 2020

Gospel 149 ~Lies In Line Will~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but the one thing I won’t lie about tonight is THE END. Now I don’t know how many NaNoWriMo months I have completed over many years. Still, again I won’t lie about a conclusion. Dammit, so this last time, a hundred. Beautiful Sophia, I’m giving myself a one-hundred-word window. Hell, I haven’t even made up for last night’s debacle. Don’t I always mention how much I hate the holidays? Sure I have all the turkey I can eat, and my BFF is in town but still. Of course, I’m still reading.

With that in mind, I hope you don’t mind if I get some work done:

Chapter One – From Digging Into Cherry Pie (Win William Bridgman)
Chapter Two – Starting With A Second Banana (Evie Gabriela Bennett)
Chapter Three – What Once Was Cherry Condition (Sarah Annora Haven)
Chapter Four – When Life Gives You Lemons (Sarah Annora Haven)

Chapter Five – The Anatomy Of An Apple (Evie Gabriela Bennett)
Chapter Six – You Ready To Go Bananas (Sarah Annora Haven)
Chapter Seven – Ode Of Lost Cherry Picker (Cain Azrael Fae)
Chapter Eight – Apples, Oranges, Why Not Tomatoes (Win William Bridgman)

Chapter Nine – A Couple of Bad Apples (Sarah Annora Haven)
Chapter Ten – Apples From The Hanging Tree (Cain Azrael Fae)
Chapter Eleven – With Big Melons, Who’s Melancholy (Win William Bridgman)
Chapter Twelve – When Cherry Was The Bomb (Evie Gabriela Bennett)

Chapter Thirteen – As American As Apple Pie (Cain Azrael Fae)
Chapter Fourteen – Life, In Cherry Picking Minutes (Win William Bridgman)
Chapter Fifteen – In The Garden Of Evie (Evie Gabriela Bennett)
Chapter Sixteen – Crushing The Grapes Of Wrath (Sarah Annora Haven)

Chapter Seventeen – The Fruits of the Forbidden (Cain Azrael Fae)
Chapter Eighteen – A Hole Like Our Cherry’s

You’re not Inspector Echo, but I do ask your forgiveness, My Lady. I needed to see this written out in real-time to decide where I’m going. Also, you know how I write, for example, A Hole Like Our Cherry’s equals A Bowl Full Of Cherries. Um, I’ve lied to NaNoWriMo. Yeah, I told you I would. But I know Chapters Nineteen and Twenty now. The Plum Assignment and Strawberry Fields Forever. I need my music. I need to actually get this done, but instead, I cover. Lies In Line Will

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 145 ~God’s The Dream, Unconditional Love~

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It’s written, speak of the Devil, and he’ll appear because God knows I ain’t loving anybody today that doesn’t have four legs and barks. I’d say I want to be a better man, but no, I’m Silas. Thanks, World Beyond. “God’s The Dream, Unconditional Love”

Monday, November 23, 2020

Gospel 145 ~God’s The Dream, Unconditional Love~

Hundred And Sixty-Third Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but today I’m not in the mood for this rule. If anything, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is for my Dæmon, and he’s right up against my thigh. So I guess I get why he always wants to cuddle because the moment he gives me space… Today though, as the song goes by Get Set Go AHEM “I Hate Everyone.” I swear to Christ all I felt today is Fury, Rage, Wrath… Why didn’t Divergent have a faction for people like me? If it’s any consolation, I’m angry with myself, so yeah, we can burn.

Now I know my week is going to suck, but yesterday, The Walking Dead World Beyond… Jesus. Well, you can see by the title. I must have been in a somewhat religious mood with this rule. Anyway, do you remember I said that everything I enjoy is biting my behind? So last night’s episode hit a little too close to home. Long story short, I am Silas. Quote a song about it, so here it go, “Everybody know I’m a motherfucking monster” pardon my French. Then we have an obsession with Iris from Silas. And finally, all his “Dad Issues.” Dammit, Madam Justice, I’m on the verge of writing a third book about some girl. I don’t want to say her name now because it makes me sick to think about my trash. I hate my “Father,” but I’m still here, a grown-ass man living off his cash right now.

Is that not unconditional love? I’m not suicidal, I keep telling myself, but right now, I’m in a dark place. Much like Silas, I’m somewhere in-between letting the dead take me. On the other hand, I really want to hit something. My fists were balled all day—God, such hate. If I could, I’d apologize for my terrible novel. I’m going to finish it, but I hate it more with each passing day. Nobody will ever read it, but yeah, this is a job that must get done, even if I become public enemy number one. Yes, Madam Justice, that is from another rap song. What, it’s not like I can tell you about the book series I’m liking, not loving, I ain’t Jacob. Now that guy has unconditional love but also unlimited power, ha. Rule 19 Love Is A Great Power but unconditionally… divinity.

God’s The Dream, Unconditional Love.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

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So last week, around this time, I got 5400, and tonight there was 4300. I’m still not catching up to NaNoWriMo standards, but at least I’m not a liar when I put down 33,000 and some words total. Willing To Be Tired but not 700 words, but why not

Saturday, November 21, 2020

Gospel 143 ~Willing To Be Tired~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not the usual Trump supporter. Let’s say for the record that I’m sorry I keep bringing up that piece of shit, which is the president. I’ve said a few times actually that he just creeps into everything daily. Speaking of which, it’s 10:50 PM right this second which means, I might be going to bed at 2:30 AM again tonight. My Lady Luna, I didn’t want to talk to you until I rectified things with NaNoWriMo from last night. Negan would say, “Today was a productive damn day.”

Okay, counting what I should have done last night (1900 Words). Also adding today’s total (2000 words) and this conversation (400). I’m only 700 short of doing a good work total of 5000. Don’t get excited, Lady Lu. I still hate Math and Language Arts. Surprisingly I continue to sound like a “Trumptard” by going against any form of knowledge.

On the other hand, those idiots will get up early to support him, and here I am, waking up at 8:30 AM. It was a struggle, I tell ya, trying to get my hair cut, go shopping, and let me repeat it… 4300 words, WHOA. But as Brandy sang about. “Almost doesn’t count.” Don’t get me started on music. Last night or the day before? Okay, how do I say this without going off the deep end of my addiction?

A “person” who said they would provide a service robbed a bunch of people. They got the sum of a million dollars. Now this person has, had, is building, hell if I know a music career. They did a song called “Lonely” which I have listened to and watched because I’m Will. I didn’t buy anything from them, but the fact I have it on Spotify and am now listening to Akon’s “Lonely.” So I went to get a haircut, which is only $10.00, but another person convinced me to get a shampoo and a scalp massage. That means I’m out of Ghost Pepper sauce for my BBQ ribs SIGH. Finally, there is an artist I have my eye on, which means I’ll be shelling out cash for Patreon, maybe. If I need anything right now, it’s a good night’s sleep, now that is funny. Not with this coming week.

But too exhausted for nightmares, Lu. Willing To Be Tired.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 142 ~The Write Will Lie~

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I can’t believe I’m lying to NaNoWriMo. An eight-hour workday, plus picking up my kid’s meds, a pet store that doesn’t sell the right dog food. Then we got food poisoning from McDonald’s, but I got to read, and he took his meds. “The Write Will Lie.”

Friday, November 20, 2020

Gospel 142 ~The Write Will Lie~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but isn’t that a lie I write down every day? How many times are we going to have this conversation? About the things, I shouldn’t make notes of? I swear, I’m getting pushed more and more towards behaving like a Republican. “Dear Leader,” to be precise. You know who I’m talking about, our very own President Trump. I lie about my wealth, going on for years now, in the name of motivation. I make a bunch of promises that don’t account for anything. The most damning thing of all is that I’m failing to produce anything.

Now you are not Inspector Echo but allow me to confess this. I lied to NaNoWriMo tonight or this morning about my word count. It’s not the first time, and I have always made good but not this Saturday at 12:30 AM. Long story short, SIGH I’m tired, My Lady.
Speaking of my novel, I’m on Chapter Thirteen, “As American As Apple Pie.” We’ve got an explosion, what it means to be an American. There’s some torture I’m not allowed to speculate on, considering what it’s about. So why not elaborate while I’m wide awake? The only reason I’m wide awake is that come Sunday, I have to write FAILED, once again on my first of Six Impossible Things. My Addiction kicked my ass Lady Sophia and didn’t I say “Wednesday” that I needed to stop being down on myself?

Yet another lie, I said that I showed up, only to be down on myself. After the days I’ve been having at the Day Job, how could I not be? I wonder what would’ve happened if I signed any form for an overnight. Now I’ve signed my death warrant workwise. Interestingly enough, if I’m going to talk about a crappy employee like myself, what about McDonald’s. If they gave me a receipt and somehow, I found the time, I would complain about the food poisoning I got there again. My sickness routine should remain secret? What I won’t keep hide is this fact. That I want to get to bed at 2:30 AM tonight. That’s why I won’t hold my promise to NaNoWriMo. I’m promising myself that I’m going to get a haircut at the very least. Also, get some food that won’t kill me.

If failing NaNoWriMo doesn’t first. Hell, The Write Will Lie.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

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As Master Yoda put it, do or do not, there is no try. The legendary Sean Connery talked about losers “trying their best,” and I won’t say anything about a prom queen. Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab. Can somebody tell my fur-baby, but not his fault.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Gospel 138 ~Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab~

Hundred And Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, or I would be if I were a doer. How I wish I could tell you I’m a doer right now, Madam Justice. I did read one of Eric Vall’s books. Another 15% is done. Before I came to talk to you today, I wrote 1900 words for NaNoWriMo. While I still haven’t caught up, I’m on par, and what’s the magic word today? I’m TRYING. Let’s not even discuss addictive behaviors; the things I had to do to get today’s writing done. Besides, canceling wrestling tonight.

I can’t say I was in the mood tonight, considering I read the Day Job’s schedule. Yeah, you know anger is surpasses “almost” every other emotion. Don’t get me started on Six Impossible Things, either. Again, I TRY and play by the rules, and what does it get me. Dammit, I do blame myself that I didn’t make the bed this morning, and so I climbed right back in. What about trying to give my Dæmon his meds today. Now that is a job that must get done, I heard in a song once. Only he is trying my patience. Yeah, didn’t make the bed. Let me get back into the Day Job, though. As always, I continue with humiliations galore, being something that I’m not. I’m not moving forward; I am running for my life from life. The novels I read and shows I watch are wrecking me daily.

At this point, there is not one thing in my life that I’m both liking and doing well. TRYING, though, even if it’s something like not being addicted to failure. For what successes I had today? I woke up bright and early, shut off my alarm, and jumped right back into bed. What the Hell am I DOING in my life? That’s a massive question. M. Anime texted me, but I still haven’t gotten through all her audio files. Meanwhile, the spam keeps flowing. I wonder how much I’ll find when I get around to posting this at what. 11:00? Now that’s being optimistic. If anything, I excel at DOING nothing, which makes me sound a lot like Ralph Wiggum, “That’s where I’m a Viking.” Speaking of Vikings, I always waste money on everything. Yep, games, and other “miscellaneous” activities.

But writing tonight, Madam Justice, do I feel any better? Trying Is Addicting, Doing Rehab.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

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Last week I said that I couldn’t get 5000 words down… AHEM 5400, but it’s past midnight, and at this rate, I might as well be all Forrest Gump “since I’ve gone this far.” Man cannot live on a cup of popcorn shrimp. Don’t Stop Will Now

Saturday, November 14, 2020

Gospel 136 ~Don’t Stop Will Now~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and to be honest, I’m not having a good time. More Money, More Problems, as the song goes. Well, with one-word irk, “Writing.” Allow me to be a broken record in this, More Writing, More Writing. Indeed 5000 words Lady Lu. I owe you an apology Lady Lu because you see what time it is 11:45 PM. Yeah, I was having too good a time until 2:00 PM, I suppose, when I decided to start working. I’m still in the hole by about um yep another 5000 words. Only I promised.

Last night, I said I would use this weekend to catch up. If I keep up this pace? As always, I know that I can get it done if I want to. That’s like saying I can finally get My Dæmon to take his meds. I still haven’t found a sure-fire method for either being real. Now, as far as writing goes, okay, one I know I can get this done if I simply buckle down and do the damn thing. Two, I don’t know why I’m trying so hard when I know how I’ll feel with the end result. Three SIGH, I’ll pay for a NaNoWriMo shirt. Why do I want to earn it so badly? All I know is right now is that everything hurts, and if I stop for a second, I’m never going to get this done. Now that scares me because it’s like the Day Job. If you’re going through Hell, you don’t stop for anything ever. Enjoying the view?

It’s why I tried my strategy of “Build The World In Thirty Days” for once. The title could use some tuning, but in my story, I’m only going between the United States and the U.K.

So NOT around the world, and I’m definitely not saving it, not my limited “Willpower.” One of the motivations I once listened to would say you only need three words. “Whatever It Takes.” I could also add to that “Burn The Boats.” While I’m looking for inspiration, it would explain why I’ve been watching Star Trek: DS9, Pacific Rim, DBH.

Hell, I’ve even been getting into the jams of the “cult classics” ha-ha in Far Cry 5. What’s one more pop culture reference AHEM, Where The Red Fern Grows Lu. God pushed over my tree, “WRITE,” Don’t Stop Will Now.

I Will Have No Fear