Tag: Adult

Lesson 124 ~The Way To Wonderland~

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I don’t know why I’m so lost, I mean how low can you go so I have a direction, but I’m a Rabbit just hoping some Alice, Dolly, Ellis follows me down and how about those others? The Way To Wonderland but I’m so afraid she will turn back I suppose

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Lesson 124 ~The Way To Wonderland~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear but a question, have you ever been watching something, reading some obvious and the more you try to ignore it the more it keeps popping up and then, yeah this is exactly what I need in my life. Alice In FREAKING Wonderland, the emphasis freaking, yeah so obvious right.

Now I wouldn’t consider myself the typical guy but I do watch porn, schoolgirls, secretaries, so on and so forth and now Halloween has come and gone but I haven’t if you know what I mean. I can’t say I ever thought much of Alice in Wonderland, to be honest, I had a thing for Caterina Scorsone once upon a time and I didn’t think Alice In Wonderland (2010) was too bad. So a few days ago I finish reading “Sick Fux” Natural Born Killers meets Alice In Wonderland, meets Sucker Pucker, *sigh* Emily Browning.

Speaking of people or books that I’m no longer gushing over today I just can’t help but wonder what makes Alice In Wonderland so hot I mean there is more to my fantasy than that. I’ve never been one of those guys that ask “who’s your daddy” I was sort of creeped out by “Paranoia Agent” but when Chloë Grace Moretz says “I love you daddy” let’s just say I have a new phrase for my pornographic passions. Last but not least has been the two girls at the same time in an alley, on Halloween in costume, and didn’t I say I don’t share my women, hence last week.

Usually, I choose brunettes over blondes too but hair color is one thing and this one fantasy has been burning in my mind since I read “Sick Fux”. I guess there is a reason you don’t see many if any male erotic writers but have I given up on becoming one, what have I written?

I’m still holding back to you because people can take things the wrong way, spoken or written by a man at least, don’t I know this. So long story short, two girls in an alley, in costume, screaming “I Love You Daddy” of course there is more to it than that but why risk it?

Isn’t this the exact opposite of no fear because I feel plenty and here I call myself but I’m just a Rabbit that hasn’t found his Dolly yet so I ask The Way To Wonderland.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 117 ~Think I’m Turning Japanese~

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I wonder what culture is more repressed nowadays, or maybe I’m just a freak, well actually that’s pretty much certain but I am an American male, and I haven’t done half the stuff some have done, politicians, movie people, “Think I’m Turning Japanese”

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Lesson 117 ~Think I’m Turning Japanese~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
No Fear, though sometimes I can be sort of a dick granted, then the question becomes can I be even more of a dick and depending upon my “lustful” inclinations, I could say yeah. Aren’t I being plenty racist too, well as far as Asian culture goes, Hentai is one of the great foundations of porn, the first masturbatory fantasy I can remember was to an Asian girl on the show “Ghostwriter” when I hit puberty, I have a thing for schoolgirl porn, and recently AMWF and don’t get me started with that logic.

I also have a thing for gangbangs but therein lies one of my many contradictions… I don’t like to share, voyeurism is cool, exhibitionism well, if I don’t have a sex tape already, it’s on my bucket list but sharing a woman, I’m a traditionalist I suppose. I get turned off by the idea of a Devil’s Three-Way but again being traditional, two girls and a guy is another thing for the bucket list or “Fucket List”. Now that’s where my conundrum comes in, being next to Halloween and all my recent fantasy has been about two girls in costume, I won’t say which because well, we know Rule 34.

Speaking of costumes though I’m also a big fan of cosplay though did that come from Japan or just a few nerds, either way, Momokun, Reagan Kathryn, Court Carmody a few of my favorites. Anyway, how can you have fun with two girls when you’re a dick and you think you can be more of one of one and the answer hit me. It took the form of Starfire, her evil sister Blackfire and Glgrdsklechhh, from Teen Titans. Hell whoever may that bit of Hentai featuring them got lucky, a month or so ago I was talking to this woman from the “Moonlite Bunny Ranch” and I told her, with as many fantasies as I have, I mean wardrobe changes, Katniss, Tris, Bella, Lena, Cassie and so on she might need to bring a friend.

So my point is, the answer is “Tentacles” and seeing how many people get fucked over by this that and the other, it just seems to make sense. It works quite well in the film “Mold” and yeah that is a bit of freaky deaky as much so that I just Think I’m Turning Japanese.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 110 ~The Casting Couch Concept~

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Actually, someone graphic today but I’m sure it’s just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to others, and who doesn’t have an ulterior motive with a pretty woman on their couch? “The Casting Couch Concept” and what exactly is anyone applying for hmm

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Lesson 110 ~The Casting Couch Concept~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
No Fear or is there, monsters hide under the bed but feel more than comfortable sitting on the couch but wait am I calling men monsters? Yes, I’m still on the Harvey Weinstein scandal but I’m not here to confess to anything or to apologize for it, honestly, I have heard of the casting couch my whole life and then some.

I’m damn near ready to call it one of the foundations of porn, schoolgirls, hentai, casting couch, and an amazing amount of grey. How many people joke about the casting couch, I’ve heard so many actresses and singers being labeled as owning their thanks to whoever happens to find them attractive regardless of actual talent. I bet right now there is some guy with a girl on his couch right now, the whole idea of Netflix and Chill… maybe it’s time to end the lies but as far as Harvey Weinstein and others are concerned everything was without consent and by some of the victims’ statements even worse when it comes to ages, just unbelievable.

Anyway, this is not a place a judgment between you and me, indeed it seems weird I have something as mundane as a couch fantasy and is probably one of the few times I actually respect leather. I don’t even have a real couch per se, just a loveseat really and no love to show for it though I’ve had a girl here and there sitting with me. What am I to tell you, the goal is to get them to walk ten steps from the den to the bedroom if I don’t have them on the couch right then?

It starts off like any normal fantasy, making out on the couch, I mean haven’t we all done that, though I’m sure others aren’t thinking about tiring their partner’s hands behind their back with their own bra and pocketing their panties. GTD (Got The Draws) being said, a topless woman going down on me while she looks up at me is pretty damn nice.

If anything my biggest question would be where to come, face, tits, maybe sit her in my lap and have her ride me before either, or just be lazy and come on her belly? This would only be the beginning of the fun but I better make a clothing budget, am I a director or producer of The Casting Couch Concept?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 103 ~Never Make Me Stay~

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Welcome, now let’s get dirty, wait how exactly are you supposed to talk to a woman, I doubt you’ll find the answer here, this is more how not to talk to a woman, how not to come off like a pervert and so on. Never Make Me Stay but she is Dirty Diana.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Lesson 103 ~Never Make Me Stay~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana
No Fear, a bundle of nerves perhaps, anxiety in overdrive, offenses galore, but for once can I not be afraid at least for a while?

I want to be dominant, and that means you have to trust me or more to the point we must trust each other so I figured I would welcome you here first. This place is going to be my playroom, my “Red Room of Pain”, though personally, I prefer black for my dungeon, but what does color matter except in my women am I right and if you think that was a racist joke well that’s the least of my offenses. I often talk about my wants, needs, and desires as being impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane, I think you’ll find all of that with our chats here, but maybe the easiest thing to contend with will be a woman’s submission.

Though I promise to try and be responsible with it, I’m not going all out with a disclaimer like I did with the “Whisperer” series, though I intend to be so much worse, and can I promise they’ll all be works of fiction… Let’s just say that being an African-American man in America I have developed a more than healthy fear of the law mind you. Strange that I have the courage to do something more heinous than walking while black, I also want to share my opinion, or am I just that much of an exhibitionist, well one time…

There will be plenty uses of the L Word here, I am of course talking about LUST, Second Circle Creations, to think I actually considered myself better, at least Abyss Creations just went all out, you know RealDoll. Speaking of words, whore, bitch, slut, and words that might get you logged by Motherless will also be used in abundance, am I trying to destroy any romantic life I might have? I can’t do much worse can I and just wait until I get started but why not today, I actually do have something in mind.

How about do I actually have someone in mind, other than you, of course, I mean Dirty Diana, this is going to be so hard, yeah plenty of sexual innuendoes? Should I ask what have we learned, did we have fun, no aftercare needed for today, Never Make Me Stay.

A Captive in the Dark

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Turn off the lights and light a candle… okay maybe not because this wasn’t exactly a romantic story, I’m talking dark erotica for virgins here, but you’ll have to read it to see. A Captive in the Dark, the sun sort of hurts my eyes, up late

“Not getting what you wanted was always the first lesson”
― Captive in the Dark

In truth I don’t know what I wanted when it came to this story, being a fan of the genre is one thing, being a first-time reader of C.J. Roberts is quite another. With that being said does this story give you what you want or what you need… it gets the job well done.

I never really get to talk about originally when it comes to these tales, I mean the story of course is but it’s always the same formula which is standard when it comes to porn for women. That’s maybe the first thing though, this isn’t really porn, at least hardcore, I was on again and off again with this story, not that it’s bad by any means, just time constraints. So while living life, in this story how long does it take to make someone fall in love, I’ve always been one for love at first sight and so it was with pretty Olivia “Livvie”.

How about from Caleb’s standpoint, I must admit I relate to him, not I’m not a criminal as it has been suggested but I wonder what it was that drove him to Livvie a.k.a Kitten other than her being the most beautiful thing he has ever seen; as a friend of mine would comment “men”. The reader is kept in the dark as much as the would-be victim which I find impressive, you learn the back stories but I feel like Winston Smith still wanting to know why these two. Loyalty loneliness, love, this story has it all, and even when I was reaching the end I figured my Kindle must be broken because I was thinking no way would she end the story like she did here; awesome cliffhanger.

I usually save this for the end of reviews but I have to say I’ll certainly buy the next one of these books, just because I have to know what comes next. I’m not afraid of the dark only to be fair this isn’t darker than some of the stories we hear on the news just fiction and less sex than I’m used to honestly.

“She was a woman, how difficult could it be to pacify her”
― C.J. Roberts

“He felt powerful, and nothing was more important than power”
― Captive in the Dark

Every woman likes a bad boy but being a guy again I can to a degree understand where Caleb is coming from, I guess it’s good most men don’t adopt the same overall strategy, it’s how some people talk about “Christian Grey” of Fifty Shades, he was hurt and in turn hurts others. Livvie on the other hand “Act like a whore and get treated like one…” except she wasn’t that, another telltale sign of the genre, good girl that just has to be naughty and then it goes on.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, good girl gets captured by the bad guy and has one possible outcome but then we have a twist, in the usual plot. While it’s not unusual for the bad guy to be pushed into his role the fact remains Caleb actually wants to be there is new, at least for a little while, loyalty vs love, honor amongst thieves or doing the “right” thing. It also can’t be ignored that every woman seems to have a dark side, I take plenty of flak for being a guy and for liking books like this but *cough* Fight Shades *cough* millions of copies *cough* so somebody is misjudging women but not C.J. Roberts really.

As for other characters, again anyone could relate to Rafiq though most might not go to such lengths I’m guessing but I root for him despite those lengths he’s going using Caleb and Livvie. There are also two clichés the first being parental problems, shows how men think all women have daddy issues which Livvie does, but her mom was more her problem. There is also the idea that all men are criminals of that sort, I mean given Livvie’s situation I don’t doubt it but from Caleb right into the arms of somebody with the same idea, come on.

I like Caleb and Livvie without a doubt, and while I was reading an excerpt I just couldn’t wait to see how they apparently found such a deep connection with each other. If anything they are both damaged and despite Caleb’s protests I think Livvie is going to be the one that saves him, but that’s how the genre goes.

“Only women were capable of being so fucking sexy you wanted to lick them clean when they considered themselves dirty”
― Captive in the Dark

“she lived in a man’s world, and she reacted accordingly” – Captive in the Dark

Been awhile since I have given anything four stars and truly meant it, am I really that hard to please, if anything I only have one real beef with this story. As for who would enjoy this story, well that’s an easy answer as well, there is so much to like, so here are spoilers.

Again I like how you can’t hate Rafiq and Caleb, Livvie is a means to an end, does it suck that they are using her, from her standpoint of course but they use the means afford them to have revenge. I thoroughly enjoy the BDSM aspects of the story, if Livvie is to be a survivor she has to be a submissive and Caleb, taking away his criminal aspirations doesn’t hide the fact that he enjoys such things. My absolute favorite part is the realization of Olivia, the fact that she holds sway with Caleb and if a virgin is what he needs then that is the last thing she ought to be if she wants to avoid her fate.

With all of this, my biggest problem with the book is the lack of sex, she and Caleb have sex once in the entire book, preserving her virginity of course so a great scene but other than that if you’re expecting a sexual romp, you probably won’t like it. Which is perfect for a guy trying to swear off any stimulation not that the whole book isn’t lust driven, there is more than enough, will they won’t they for the ladies. Isn’t this the whole point of the book, to be as open with the characters but still as Livvie was kept in that dark room, the reader is kept in the dark as well.

Bravo C.J. Roberts but I would have liked it if Caleb and Livvie just got it over with but always leave them wanting more; it is a book like this that makes me rethink my own writing. So four stars and another fan, can you ask for more, sure but for now I’ll be in the dark reading something else.

Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone

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The Catholics think they have some bad publicity but there are still plenty of them running around, not to mention several other “churches” glad I got to read about a fictional one for a change. Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone, it’s pretty crazy.

“It’s only forbidden, but nothing to be ashamed of”
― D.S. Wrights, Wake

For the most part, no, I mean it was a bit slow in going but once it picked up, I was in a way rooting for the villains, not all the way to the end of course but I was somewhat impressed by the sheer villainy. Nothing to be ashamed of story wise though the editing, I’m no editor, not in the slightest, except when I’m noticing these things every few pages… seriously me being a writer, it puts the fear of God into me.

Speaking of God, I always applaud any of author with the guts to go after the religious even if they are a “cult” and we all know these sort of groups, lie somewhere and nobody can escape unscathed. You won’t find any voices of reason in this book, either everyone is crazy or lying to some degree just to maintain, whatever they hold sanity to be. Character development pretty much lies on one concept, how crazy are you and when will you cross the line.

Nobody embodiments that more than our antihero Samael, and the heroine Anna, Samantha, Anna, trying to be Rachel it gets pretty confusing for both characters and reader alike. I guess love is sort of crazy when you look at it and of course, this is one of those stories where somebody has plenty of cash on hand, and while it doesn’t justify the crazy, I’m sure plenty of women will read it. Guys too if they have ever had such and such a dark urge and I will not delve into that rabbit hole, here.

So if you’re ready for crazy and a whole lot of dominant males though I was surprised by mother Rachel which shows women can be just as evil then this is a decent read, I won’t say good, for plenty of reasons but again we will get into that in a bit first the rundown.

Crazy mom, decent grandparents, indoctrination into a cult, predators, molesters, oldest crimes in the oldest traditions, girl falls in love with a boy/man-child and then escapes without him, not her choice. Retaken by the cult, boy/man-child has been warped and still crying out for daddy’s acceptance is going to train the girl and if you’re into this genre you can sort of see where this is going, not rocket science.

Now a part of me actually wants to say I sort of agree with Samael because I know how churches/cults can be that’s why you start with children but the ending in a way negates all that. Him being convinced that Anna betrayed him but he was already grown if he could break through the conditioning long enough to help her escape how could he be so sure it was all her fault. He truly got me in the end though, you don’t see many stories that don’t end with a happily ever after scenario, a change of pace indeed.

In all fairness, with Anna’s background, anyone would be messed up too and the captivity doesn’t help with that so her staying the same throughout is par for the course. I do think her character was somewhat beyond belief but again maybe it was her upbringing that kept her from screaming bloody murder for the most part. The scene between her and Samael was explosive when they finally got her virginity out of the way, though the teasing was awesome as well, to an extent, it grew tedious after a bit but the stories of Samael’s past with Rachel were wow with a bit of sick to go with it.

I think the ending could have been something more if the other characters were flushed out, don’t get me wrong we get back stories to most of them but again beyond belief when Anna can just present an idea and okay it’s been years nobody thought to do this? The Church of the Second Reckoning and everything maybe the author could have flushed Joshua out more, and explained how he kept power, though I have seen infighting in most churches.

In all I give “Wake” three stars, it was dark, it was creepy, not the typical ending and pretty twisted indeed there was plenty to like and if the author would just get some new editing and crank up the sex but maybe that’s just me being a guy. The editing just pulls you out of the story, you’re falling right into and next thing you know you’re ripped out.

I suppose my favorite part is when Anna is alone with the Samael’s other two brothers, I guess I should also mention spoilers but come on, everyone knows when it’s coming. Personally, I could have used a bit more graphical language but just the fact that the hero doesn’t come in and save the day just in the nick of time. Also the ending, there are few books especially a standalone that leave characters still screwed up and just saying, okay this is life so deal with it as so.

Other than the editing, I think Anna’s character, like mother, like daughter, came off a bit too cunning with her manipulations, in a place where people are killing each other left and right, nobody had an inkling to I don’t know get to Joshua? The teasing got a bit annoying after awhile, I’m never sure with erotica but some are a straight sexual smorgasbord and others are, maybe, still waiting, and okay. Also while Sam’s dad was lying to him, why was everybody lying to Anna, okay she’s a kid but the fact that they lied while soothing themselves did nothing for Anna, the characters could be pretty dense if they weren’t psychotic or just plain mad; genius and insanity.

This isn’t something I would have sought out, probably because of the religious jargon but it hits the right note between what we know in the news and completely unbelievable. Three stars, pay the money for the editing I know I will, now if you’ll excuse me I might actually need a nap after this, exciting and my brain hurts.

Sage Advice for My Wonderland

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Trying to scare another woman away but she’s a “professional” honestly though I didn’t know a “sure” on Twitter, would elicit any type of response that she wrote to me and who knows who else but yeah I was flattered Sage Advice for My Wonderland

Well considering your offer, I suppose I can see myself to the ranch so luxury hotel accommodations would be nice, though pick something you are quite comfortable with as I don’t see us leaving for the next two days unless something comes to mind. As for the weekend, I have broken it up into four quite different encounters, that will take some research to put together but I we will have to try I suppose.

The first I call “Jailbait Heroines” Young Adult novels have always been quite the fetish of mine and as for which novel I can call my favorite is nearly impossible. You cosplaying as Katniss Everdeen and Beatrice “Tris” Prior is a must, I might also recommend bringing a friend but considering resources you doing both roles at different times would be awesome. There will be multiple costume changes throughout this encounter with all the characters I have in mind such as Bella “Twilight”, Ember “Article 5”, Lena Duchannes “Beautiful Creatures”, Rose Hathaway “Vampire Academy” to name a few; you wouldn’t happen to be Mystique by any chance; as for costumes…

1. Black T-Shirt, Panties, Black High Heels, Brown Jacket, or Catching Fire Jumpsuit “Katniss”
2. Jumpsuit or Military Suit (Insurgent, Allegiant) “Tris”
3. Tight Dark Blue Dress “Bella”
4. Long Skirt, White Button Blouse “Ember” (Research Needed)
5. Old Southern Style, Yellow Night Gown, Plantation Style Black Dress “Lena Duchannes”
6. Black Leather Jacket, Mini Skirt, Tight Black Dress, Black Boots “Rose”

My second encounter is “Working During The Apocalypse” I have yet to decide on an apocalyptic scenario but I image a young woman seeking refuge from the horrors of the outside world. Be aware that nearly all of these encounters will be mixed with some form of bondage, but I’ve seen the things you can do with that. You should brush up a bit on Bible Black though other than the schoolgirl costume you can improvise a character perhaps; I’ll have to think of my favorites a bit.

Another encounter will be an improvised scène from the movie “The Falling” honestly I haven’t seen it but the scene I require I know quite well. Easily enough you’ll play Maisie Williams’s character of “Lydia Lamont” and a white blouse and plaid skirt should be easy enough to find I take it. Already I know I am asking quite a lot, with breaks for room service, to shower, and maybe a bit of sleep hopefully.

Last but not least is another improvise scene from one of my favorites “Hannah Harper” as the naughty housewife, so sinfully small white robe will be all that is needed. Again you can play the role however you see fit, though you should also have scattered lingerie around the room, and wear a crucifix since holier than thou girls is also another fetish of mine. We also need to talk about video documentation as well, for all of these encounters, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and of course, BDSM; are fetishes of mine.

Now I honestly believe I’m dreaming considering, the time and resources it will take to get from here to there but I’m not one to leave a lady hanging. You wanted to know the details of my fantasies and these four may change at any time before we ever meet face to face, with time

The Secret Life of “Pet” Book Review

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Sugar Baby 101, you never talk about the money, hell Pet never did I’m not going to, this is simply the review of a tale of a submissive young woman and a rich guy here or there. “The Secret Life of Pet”, it’s no secret that it is a decent read.

If the first thing that comes to mind is a cartoon and not Hentai then you might as well turn around now. As for everyone else if I have to sum up Isabella Starling’s “Pet” in one word it would have to be awkward, not that it wasn’t sexy, hot, it turned me on but as Madonna put it “like a virgin” so yeah awkward.

Not that original either, “Marco’s Redemption” and “Otherwise Alone” come to mind but like any other writer in this genre, Isabella puts her own spin on it. Think of it as sugar daddy 101 except they never discuss money, and with a name like Sapphire… relax she was a waitress one time and never a stripper, I actually have a cousin named after a jewel. I don’t know whether to compare this to a fairy tale or as I said before, for any guys reading, again this genre is either porn with more talking or Hentai without pictures and for me yeah this seemed animated.

“You’re excited but you don’t really know what the hell you’re doing. And some way, one way or another, it’s over too fast.” Yuri Orlov

I’m sure there are plenty of Sapphire’s out there minus the dark past… hopefully but it just seemed way too easy; there’s another comparison “Fifty Shades of Grey” young woman steps in for a roommate and ends up with powerful men. Men would want to live King’s life and I do mean life… what guy doesn’t want to have money and then have a girl that wants him but money not being the issue, to be honest, it never was between Sapphire and King. It was more their past that is the meat of the story other than them beginning together for the most part although I’m sort of okay with the fact that they glossed over some of that otherwise this would have been even more cringing inducing, and it will be a bit.

I looked up to see in this was Isabella’s first story, seems she built up a following and I haven’t read any more of her stories but this one was not a home run for me. There are pretty big moments but this is a decent story that transformed near the end into, just well, always leave them wanting more but this… always leave them wanting to know what they read and the reason why.

Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this one, poor girl down on her luck, rich guy, sex, bad history, more sex, another bad boy rich guy, climax, happy ending. I suppose these stories are made to make women feel more feminine and since I don’t know any other guys that read these, for me personally yeah I wanted Sapphire/Pet but daddy, protector, doctor; I said most men would want to be King in a way but I’m not most men…
“To call it a dungeon would be an insult. The women I played with came willingly, in more ways than one. It wasn’t a room out of a lame BDSM movie. The equipment was hidden in plain sight, and the room could look as innocent to an observer as it did dirty to someone who knew their shit.’ Isabella Starling, Pet: A Dark Menage Romance

This isn’t a spoiler if not happening this moment somewhere, Sapphire meets King who then names her Pet, his Pet and they begin a sugar baby relationship with elements of BDSM mixed in. We also have Angel/Maria who is the former pet and I will admit she was somewhat a surprise along with the Stranger/Felix that sort of just made me go hmm. Every other character will make you want to punch them in the face for various reasons and then the whole let’s tie this up in a neat little bow, so awfully fast.

As far as the cringe factor, Pet’s past… King, of course, wasn’t what was best but considering everything that happened to her he was pretty much a saint. The finale while a twist does make you think Isabella sort of ran out of ideas or maybe I’m just dense because I didn’t see it coming. For me though the absolute worst was something that happened in the playroom, see these stories let you know where your line is and let’s just say I would never do something like that to any woman, I’ve seen it done but it scares the crap out of me and I’m sure every woman clinched.

This book didn’t make any outlandish promises but even the erotic book club I’m in was disappointed, I can’t stress this enough though, it’s a decent read as long as you don’t have a history with these titles. It should make it easier for men to get, though most won’t pick it up, guys it’s this, disregard females acquire currency.

This ends up being a love story because don’t they always end up that way and I’m glad that a choice was made, albeit an accident, manipulation, and some luck but something had to give. With that being said I’ll give it three stars out of five and not just two, I didn’t hate this book but it didn’t exactly make me think anything other than I’m an old man who wouldn’t mind a sugar baby hanging on to me.

“Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (2008)

The sex scenes were pretty nice in the beginning but I guess I’m not a fan of the “devil’s three-way” at least not with women that are mine; I leaned more towards King getting back at people for hurting Pet. I also liked those easy relationship moments between King and Pet, and Felix and Pet/Sapphire, the innocence of her seduction, from calling one Master to F to baby it was what really brought out the characters. There are plenty of good quotes that I can’t use (Amazon *sigh*) but the dirty talk is pretty sweet, even if the story is just a decent holding place.

Three stars as Felix and King were rushed near the end… King’s final act just came out of nowhere for me, oh angry guy then, “Father Figure” in a George Michael sort of way to, everything is going to be okay. A woman… barely she’s eighteen, falling in love at first sight, as much as I want to believe it, everyone seems so susceptible to it, maybe that’s just me being a cynic and while this is decent fiction. If this was the first attempt it would be awesome but considering the litany of work, I suppose this was a shout out to Isabella’s fans.

The only reason I picked this one up was to stay in the know and now I know I might not go looking specifically for this author’s books unless I see a free one at some point. There is so much you can do to a pretty Pet but don’t be like King if you see this title, Isabella Starling’s “Pet”, please don’t walk out.

Lesson 015 ~Hurry Up and Wait~

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Because I got things to do, things I don’t want to, things to pass time, things to confess but what am I waiting for huh. Hurry Up and Wait… I might be getting better with these confessions but maybe I should wait before I open my mouth yet again hmm

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Lesson 015 ~Hurry Up and Wait~

Hey Lady Lu,
I’m not a military guy at least not anymore (brief stint in the Navy) or in any other type of aspect, in reality, figured I’d let you know since apparently, this is where this idiom comes from. Yeah I know that was a mouthful, especially today but anyway with today’s lesson hurry up and wait is the story of my life maybe.

I can tell you everything about hurrying, I read something once to the tune of do you ever think your mere existence gets in everyone else’s way? Not going to lie to you Lady Lu, that’s part of the reason I move so fast or I try to, this lady told me about that once at work, that I was constantly zipping around and why is that? Anxiety my old foe but actually it goes further than that, the fact that I shouldn’t even be here anymore, we know why.

I’m so busy trying to learn how to live, how to be an adult, that I’m not actually doing so; I told you I get stuck on occasion, like at work but I can’t even remember the bad memory that held me up. Do you know what that’s like to always be playing catch up and then there are people telling you to keep up, while all the time you have to stay focused on your future? It’s all good practice to outrun the Grim Reaper, the one thing I wish would catch me but I’ve been running my whole life I can’t stop really.

I’m in a hurry to get nowhere, what’s that old song, “Do You Know the Way to San Jose”, so is that it Luna, am I lost, and I’m scared of what I will find there, or do I not belong there at all? That was pretty true of the military, I didn’t want to be where I was but what was I thinking about by joining in the first place, if anything getting unstuck.

“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” – Wooderson from the movie, Dazed and Confused

Isn’t that just such a man thing to say but isn’t that how boys become men, hell back in high school there was this kid younger than me, we were “friends” any way he knocked some girl up and there’s his life, his manhood. Warning you right now My Lady, I’m going to have to curb “Ned Flanders” for a minute; so when I was still with my parents I thought about hiring an escort.

I wanted to grow up, and how in the hell was I ever going to get a girl normally; to this day can I tell you if sex makes you an adult… well, I’ve done plenty of things for girls I figured I’d be with, bought stuff, cleaned the whole house, presented myself to be a gentleman to an extent but I do the same thing for girls I’m not with as well. So you rush around doing, then when nothing happens, you ask yourself what are you waiting for.

“What are you waiting for?
Love me like you do, la-la-love me like you do (like you do)” Ellie Goulding

My mother would always tell me I would find my way, strangely enough our serious chats were always on the verge of another suicide attempt, this was the second one when I swallowed a damn box of sleeping pills; that was loopy night but yeah I had cheap pills and I survived, talk about being lost and another loss. Was I scared, Luna every time I’ve tried I’ve been scared, painkillers, more sleeping pills, researching ways I could just go to sleep… yeah as far as pain goes I’m a sadist, not a masochist and I don’t like to make a mess. This goes right back into the, I don’t belong here a section to come round; I’m always taking up space and all I can think about is clearing that space for everyone concerned.

“I guess it comes down a simple choice: Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

This is me at work, I’m not there to make friends, I’m not there because I like it, I have a place and a purpose, sad as it is and I don’t like making people wait so I hurry up, I come back to the house because Braxton is waiting so I hurry up, and then I wait for something to happen. Isn’t that what we are Luna, all my writing and waiting for nothing at all but I just hate being late if anything.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

When it comes to even the pleasures of life… “HORMEL TACO MEATS Beef Crumbles”, the original “Saints Row”, a pretty girl here or there, I’m either hurrying and screwing everything up or I’m waiting and missing things. So is that the answer Luna, to just slow down and enjoy things as they come, try to make good memories and such.

Not with anxiety, a friend of mine asked about my “Blackjack Scale” but I present another theory, “The Five Minute Rule”, in my life I boil everything down to five minutes, survive those five minutes and the next, or in five minutes the world will end and you don’t have to worry anymore. One of the reasons I’m at work I set my stopwatch, I can’t bear to look at the time, but survive five minutes, then wouldn’t you know it I survived an hour and so on. The last place you ever want to slow down is Hell because for some inane reason I think things will get easier?

“then basically I’m just gonna walk the earth.

What do you mean, walk the earth”?

You know like Cain in ‘Kung Fu’, walking place to place, meet people and get in adventures.

And how long do you intend to walk the earth?

Until God puts me where he wants me to be.

And what if he don’t do that?

If it takes forever, then I’ll walk forever.” Pulp Fiction (1994)

You know how I feel religious wise but yeah I do think there is something, no man escapes death so many times without having some sort of purpose you know what I mean. Maybe I’m out running that too or maybe I passed it, doesn’t it suck that you can spend your life focused on five minutes, an hour, a day, yes still thinking about “the incident” but anyway you stay on that and you’re just waiting to forget. The curse strikes again because I can’t forget, this is lesson 015 but we know I have hundreds of more skeevy lessons I could still share.

For now, though I’m in a hurry to finish this, in five minutes I’ll be done, another five I’ll be looking at poetry, and another, setting up to post etc. Chances are good Luna, me and someone may have either passed each other by now or we’re waiting for the other to you know what right Hurry Up and Wait”

Lesson 007 ~Am I Officially Knots~

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Now I think I know why it’s easier to just get rid of everything and start fresh because it’s complicated never seems to be a good enough answer. Am I Officially Knots… from the looks of it who would even try to untangle me?

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Lesson 007 ~Am I Officially Knots~

Hey Lu,
If I’m not there on a day to day basis I’m certainly on my way and that’s big talk for somebody with eleven followers don’t worry though you’re still safe. So you’re probably asking why we’re still talking if we’re not being overheard like that therapy session on “Finding Carter” I miss that.

“Work finally begins when the fear of doing nothing exceeds the fear of doing it badly” Alain de Botton, Outskirtspress.com

As good an excuse as any but I’ll always go for I’m as mad as Hell, and I am Lady Luna, I’m always angry and I need to keep it that way. I wish I had known about this sooner, if anything I probably did, we use the gifts God gives us or what pretty girls do. Don’t worry about that we’ll talk about that soon enough or not considering the gag order that I’ve given myself as of late.

“If you ever loved me, don’t rob me of my hate. It’s all I have.” The Count of Monte Cristo

I often wonder which is easier to hate or to love, when I first saw the dog that would become my Braxton, I loved him immediately and it has only grown stronger. When such and such hurt my feelings, no that was nowhere near, I liked and I can’t say I care enough to hate but now I’m just disgusted, now didn’t I say something about a gag order. I’d like to say I’m a man with guts but I don’t know whether or not to keep spilling them here, do I need to run to the bathroom or am I strong enough to untangle them right where they are?

Some things are easier said than done Luna, like staying awake to finish my story, that’s the effect that anger has on me. They will be a time to let it go but for now, it’s only been a week; how disappointed God must be with his creations sometimes.

Again not a holy man or anything of the sort, in fact, I might be as useless as Rick Johnson today, the book review I did because I doubt I’ll be getting any views or likes today. More like I’ll treat English as my second language because as I told a friend today, I’ll never forget a cute brunette but I am trying to desperately ween myself off of a few, some, most women, at least for a while.

Not to sound like one but my legs have been all sorts of twisted, might help if I get out of bed but then Braxton would just be out the door in a never ending cycle. You know that movie “40 Days and 40 Nights”, I’ve done that before and I’m approaching that record again. Seems like a stupid solution right, I get my feelings hurt and decide to take a vow of celibacy or to become a eunuch as if that fixes everything as if she cares at all about it.

Someone asked me to explain this course of action and in one way, a person as inclined as myself must exhibit self-control; I hate the idea of fake it till you make it but a man such as I won’t do such a thing because I can have a woman if I want one. Also on a biological level, it’s supposed to raise testosterone levels and make a man more daring and bolder, always being on the hunt except I’m here in bed. It also fuels my anger; I mean if I told you what I was doing before we started talking again but I was already holding out then.

I think we have established that I have guts, but let’s say I have another sign of courage as well though they haven’t been any sign of help in longer than a month. At this rate I’m bound to become even more twisted considering the state of the world and have we learned nothing, in the end, prohibition has failed.

Speaking of prohibition, I’ve been tongue-tied for quite some time, dare I say thirty-three years, I wish I knew the moment there was no going back. Now with writing, I can tell you the exact moment I was doing something but talking was just ugh.

We’ve been over my anxiety a bit but I truly feel that spoken or printed I would have ended up in the same place and no I’m not going to preach about life being unfair… today. The most courage perhaps I have ever shown was all the way back in high school when I asked a girl to prom and of course she already was going with someone else. My anxiety got my ass kicked by my father because I couldn’t talk to the tutors oh and did I mention with all the tutoring in the world I still ended up going to summer school.

“Slander is spoken. In print, it’s libel.” J. Jonah Jameson

With writing you can already see it, my fingers get drunk off their own idea of self-importance and I can’t lie about, who I really was, am, or could be. From the beginning when I was a little boy and I wrote a word on a piece of paper that just happened to be my own name and now that name might as well be “M. Night Shyamalan” though he’s making a comeback. My novel if anything shows how knotted up, how twisted, how tied up my fingers have been and they are not helping with my adult problem really.

For now, I am The Gordian Knot, which isn’t good at all, remember it was not untied but rather cut which was the rather simple solution, is that what I’m doing, I mean not cutting literally, never been one for that. As all addicts, the first step is to acknowledge the problem and that’s the lesson, I’m still trying to see the whole problem but honestly Am I Officially Knots?