More Rest Than Art “Peace”

Was I looking for a miracle or a night’s sleep, I don’t believe in one, and I sleep too much to call it a night or maybe since I never know peace it’s hard to imagine it, but I held such hope for The Art of Peace. More Rest Than Art “Peace”

The dead don’t entirely rest in peace; I’m a zombie junkie so stop me if you heard this one *ahem* I read this because I watched “The Walking Dead” Season Six, Episode 4 “Here’s Not Here” I mean when has The Walking Dead ever been wrong… Already I want to make excuses for “The Art of Peace” I read it on my Kindle, maybe I was having a hard time when I read it, so I was exhausted, or I could have been expecting some grand miracle, well I finished it, does that count some, not that it’s so terrible.

Three stars without a doubt but for some reason I couldn’t stick with it, I took martial arts as a child, Karate not Aikido, so like back then do I blame the teacher or my “father” he indeed has better taste in books but I was looking for another man for guidance. I wonder why The Art of Peace became a prop for Lennie James a.k.a. Morgan Jones but shouldn’t I be blaming John Stevens who translated the book or more so Morihei Ueshiba who’s the author? Even now I wasn’t ready to read the paperback copy that I bought because I must be missing something, the urge to like this title is so strong within me, and it wasn’t the worst thing ever, but I was expecting so much.

Don’t get me wrong with the Kindle version I read you do get a big backstory on Morihei Ueshiba and in some parts; I can understand why he would develop such a philosophy for life after everything that he experienced. Maybe that’s the problem that he became decorated as so godlike, and despite the superhuman feats it came off more like someone who was only spouting a phrase here or there that sounded deep, and nobody wanted to challenge him. A lot wiser than the Bible without all the things that people attempt to hide but still an ideology that I couldn’t exactly get behind despite everything I highlighted within.

It could be that I was looking for that one moment from The Walking Dead and I might have found it but it didn’t resonate the same way with me; let me discover myself in a zombie apocalypse though and I might beg to reread this. As I said with the hope of proving myself and these three stars wrong and I wouldn’t mind learning Aikido maybe it’s the fact that I have no practical experience in the culture but then again I read erotica…

Maybe I read it too fast which is saying something with the fact that I fell asleep sometimes, not because of the book hopefully but I was attempting to push through when perhaps I should have practiced meditation on what I read. Once I got past the biography of the man, the wisdom was seen to a certain extent, as he said The Art of Peace is continually evolving over time and from one person to another which I find entirely true without a doubt.

If anything while reading this I wasn’t interested in fighting anyone, but I didn’t care to do much of anything else, maybe in a way I guess the book did its job though perhaps novel is the wrong word for this title as short as it was. What about that don’t judge a book by its cover because when I looked at the size of the book, I was already disappointed, and that’s why I snatched up my Kindle copy so quickly as well sadly. I don’t know whether peace is supposed to be so easy to have or so hard to understand, it’s there regardless of whichever you choose, and for me it was hard but wisdom is not to know acknowledgment in a day, and it took me quite a few to finish.

Perhaps it wasn’t as motivating as I hoped, most of the motivational jargon I’ve listened to and watched and read gets me ready to do something but this more to the point, and I keep saying it is to find peace. The pacing I found slow and somewhat repetitive, but that’s because well I’m human and see even now I’m beginning to feel I missed the point of the book entirely but I was thrown off by the history of the man and not by his great words. What about the “word art” I can’t honestly say that I got it, other than the fact that when I was younger, I did go through a phase of finding beauty in the Asian culture and for once I don’t only mean the women; does that make me sexist, I do wonder?

Again I return to The Walking Dead and the idea that I figured this book would change me but I was better off sticking with that moment of realization between Morgan and Eastman and while I continue to realize I need this peace, the practical application of it I have found daunting. Much like reading the book, yes when I get more time, I want to study it at least once more, and this time I will read the physical copy and see if that will help me understand better.

The Art of Peace did reawaken a bit of “Asian Persuasion” again in all areas such as ideology, anime, and Martial Arts, though I don’t think Aikido is for me, though if I could combine it with something else, I might give it a chance. Speaking of giving this book a chance, three stars out of five and the fact that I do want to reread it at that is high praise. There are five-star books that leave me wrecked that I don’t think I could rehash because there would be nothing left of me and so much for reviews.

With The Art of Peace, I know there is something more for me; if I only have the patience to find it which I suppose can be counted as a life lesson and wasn’t that the whole point, to learn something that will help me in my day to day life? In that regard, while I already mentioned the Bible, don’t expect this to help with your day to day life though it is easier to read honestly and isn’t likely to tell you, while you are divine that everybody is somehow trash. It doesn’t bring out the worst flaws of humanity but instead tells us there is a way to live however it does not tell me how not to punch-out my co-workers but rather why I shouldn’t truthfully.

Which is also one of the problems I’ve gone over, it has somewhat of a deep mysticism to it and while I do believe that Morihei Ueshiba was a gifted human being, given that this title is his true teachings it still seems a bit too incredible too much. Also with these ideas of life and I would be the first one to admit that my life isn’t exactly something to write about, I felt as though I was slogging through this for the most part. I feel as though The Art of War would be more to my liking even though The Art of Peace states that this is more the way of the warrior, so maybe by reading the other I will understand what I have read all the more in time maybe.

I can’t stress this enough but if not for The Walking Dead I probably wouldn’t have bothered with this, and I do feel somewhat the better for having read this and in trying to understand it, as best as I can. Though I wouldn’t suggest that you be at peace when you begin reading this; it will probably keep you from resting in because who has time to think about all the evils in the world when this is undoubtedly More Rest Than Art “Peace?”

The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits A Book Review

How I wished for a five-star sequel, and here we are, and already I can’t wait until I get my first look at the promised land or “The Church” but “The Prophet” was able to move the mountain the last inch, so? The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits

Was it God, the “Father of Fire,” “The Morningstar,” hell one of the things I love about writers is the ability for us to play God and with “The Prophet” let me say in Celia Arron I trust no question. I am sure however that many of you do have queries and if the first one is this book worth a read, well my review of The Maiden (The Cloister Trilogy #1) was four stars, this one gets that final fifth star and well deserved.

If you want to see what I thought there “Hey There Delilah, My Maiden” was that review, as for this tale we are brought back almost immediately where The Maiden left off in a state of “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Delilah is in trouble from all sides, The Prophet, the son, the senator, or would it be better to say the father, the son, and the holy ghost, either way, she finds herself trapped in Hell once again. The Prophet’s whose anger and madness knows no bounds, Adam who makes her body burn with unholy desire or the shame and rage that awakens through Evan Roberts who wants her for his own.

I brought this up before how religion will use beautiful women, and whether it’s their heat, the dark desires that burn inside because trust me if you read this title you’re not exactly innocent, or the knowledge of what The Prophet does, to quote a more reasonable madman, there will be blood. Besides The Prophet and Evan Roberts and the “hero” Adam other characters have been expanded such as Grace, Adam and Noah’s mother and Noah himself as the crimes against the maidens grow ever more heinous but who Delilah is investigating is brought to light. The sex is still somewhat subdued but with everything else that is going on and the explosive ending two sides of the same coin.

Some people might be turned off but this title revved me up, if the book were any more on fire I would be worried it might go all “Fahrenheit 451” in my hands, no this title is nothing like that only the emotions that will burn inside you from everything. Anyway, that is enough of me blowing smoke but remember there’s an inferno waiting once we pass the first darkness which is Delilah’s destructive indoctrination.

Spoiler warning ahead if you haven’t read the first book; ready, okay, we start with dear Delilah being locked away for her escape attempt from Heavenly Ministries and a while at least she is a shadow of her former womanhood. Adam Monroe is, of course, letting more of his sweet guy persona show while maintaining the brooding boy motif that makes all the woman go knocky in the knees as he lays even more of a claim on his maiden.

While The Maiden focused more on the sexual training of the girls and there is plenty of sex in this we see more of the violent side of Heavenly and the madness that has created The Prophet and his victims. To take the body is one thing, someone’s life is another but to declare war on the soul; I was somewhat taken aback at the shift it Delilah’s personality; it’s when I saw everyone else that I felt indeed a bit hopeless. Not that the characters aren’t good but how Adam is coming off with his new plans and I remember someone once saying that if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your ideas, the problem is as the song goes “there are too many prophets here” honestly.

Adam remains mostly the same, a love-struck fool, with violent tendencies albeit he has grown bolder but the things a man will do for love or obsession, to see that The Prophet could show such restraint when it comes to Delilah. If the characters aren’t chasing love it’s power which brings in some surprising twists and turns; there was one, in particular, that might have sucked me in and then threw me out of the story so much that I thought my Kindle was screwing up again. That part of the story comes back around eventually, but I was so confused for a bit, though it made my heart jump; there are other parts of the story that brought out a leap or rise to other parts of my anatomy.

Other that Delilah and Adam, Evan for as twisted as he is, I believe is quite compelling and if the location of the story hits too close to home for me, the politician I think we all know someone like that, *cough* president *cough*. One character meets a violent end; again if you got into the first book you weren’t holding out much hope for him or her anyway, but with the death, we are witnesses to one mind-blowing revelation; still, Delilah has no clue.

Is that the reason I gave “The Prophet” five stars, it might sound better than paying attention to Evan, the bloody nature of this story, the sex between Adam and Delilah or should I say Emily, big spoiler but I would have given anything to be Adam at that moment. Yes, there will be more spoilers from here on and things I didn’t like, but that can’t take away the five stars this book truly deserves, it is quite incredible.

For example, that moment Adam and Noah run into the FBI, my heart dropped and then the moment was just glossed over and eventually comes back around to one of them wearing a wire, what all transpired at that meeting? I would have liked to see more “Zombiefied” Delilah/Emily and especially would have enjoyed watching her beg before The Prophet after her torture or something between her and Sarah, but that’s only my wishful thinking. Delilah/Emily does a full 180 or 360 from hating The Prophet, loving him, hating again it happened a bit too fast for my taste honestly like her grueling torture could be reversed in seconds though I am grateful it happened.

My favorite part of the entire story was when Adam chose to save Delilah/Emily the only way he could, though he had already taken her virginity he needed everyone to see it done this time and that was the hottest action. Evan attempting to court Delilah/Emily and the other things he did to her, a terrible man but compared to The Prophet he’s a saint, don’t get me wrong he is all sorts of evil. There’s a toss-up between The Prophet killing and then finding out who murdered Delilah/Emily’s friend which I will leave because it is profoundly shocking but what is Adam to do; if he lives of course.

I give it five stars because it was a little bit sexy and a little bit bloody, throw in some revelations, and you can’t wait, but I am, so much stuff on my reading list but not if, when you get “The Cloister Trilogy” make sure you read them all because I intend to. Will they have to add another star for the third book “The Church,” the chapel and the cathedral are a bit too out there for my liking, what am I saying, The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits.

Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

Would the motto of Heavenly Ministries be, to abandon all hope ye who enter here, well if that hope is five stars but what’s wrong with four; question what is wrong with religious people liking pretty girls; just me then? Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

The things you can get away with in the name of God; someone once said “Dom unto others as you would have God Dom unto you” and that someone ended up in jail for a little less than what this book entails overall. “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron is another title ripped straight from the headlines or at least it should be, we’ve got the stupidity of the “Prosperity Gospel,” the evil of the Catholic Church, and they made a mini-series about David Koresh’s cult.

With an understanding of this I rather watch The Maiden, if they ever thought to make it a movie because it’s a remarkable book, I was hooked and so is my erotica reading group, I would have read the sequels myself if they weren’t already reading them. This title hit home for me quite literally from the location to the type of church I knew as a child, to the family dynamic such as “perfect obedience.” There is a stark contrast between what is known as BDSM and what the general public believes, and using the church’s teachings to show that is awesome, the lives of the maidens and the families within Heavenly Ministries community.

Long story short we have this young woman, renamed Delilah who joins the cloister maidens of Heavenly Ministries, a bit of a convent; two words “Virgin Territory” a movie worth watching. Since when did convent become synonymous with the word brothel, and they have one. Delilah’s life is now the property of The Prophet. More importantly is the rights of his son Adam Monroe, another father-son duo *sigh* though the family is more nuclear, minus having a dog. The twist is what she hopes to find out from this church/cult; now those are synonyms being how I know the church to be; anyway another good girl, bad boy with kind intentions type of tale honestly.

Let me put it out there how churches will use beautiful women to entice people but it’s a thin line as with The Prophet, the people know one side, but he hides the other from them; sex as long as nobody talks about it. You should also be aware that as I said there is BDSM, but anyone that knows about abuse may do well to skip this though I think in both aspects “The Maiden” is rather tame somewhat.

Maybe I just read darker material though already being on the second book “The Prophet” that the darkness is cranking up, but of course that will be for another review I’ll try to stay on this one. As far as Delilah and Adam Monroe are concerned, I guess I do tend to lump all these characters together from different titles, the only thing that changes are motivations, and so there has to be something especially jarring, and with this, there wasn’t that in the Maiden.

Delilah other than her looks is the somewhat righteous girl looking to find justice which means infiltrating The Cloister as a Maiden, a group of twelve holy women who are to be placed by The Prophet’s direction to the rich, the powerful, and others The Prophet can use. Delilah without a doubt has a fiery personality which needs some breaking if she is to serve and that task falls to her protector, Adam. How does one find the truth in a web of lies because it becomes quite clear that is all that exists as the maidens begin their training and here’s a hint yes they will be on their knees, but it will be a lot less praying, shocker?

Adam is a man that I can relate to, hates his dad, doesn’t believe anything about the church that he belongs to, finds holy women hot as hell but moreover a woman that wants to tell him no but knows better. Now he can’t be the perfectly righteous man, these stories are never about that, but his feelings for Delilah drive him to defy his father and lead to some actions that could mean the death of them both. He also loves his mother; I swear if you give some guy washboard abs, a dark history, some unforgivable crime and make him declare allegiance to a girl, and you have 95% of the genre easily.

Other characters such as The Prophet himself as a hypocrite or Noah Monroe who is desperate for some semblance of a family and Grace the Head Spinner who I would take to be like Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid’s Tale only younger. We also have a slight bit of politics and heroics from everyone including other maidens and spinners and the network that keeps such an organization intact and running smoothly.

So why four stars and not five, other than my usual ranting, raving, carrying on about the general state of this genre the sex was kept somewhat to a minimum, only a pair of maidens I believe losing their virginity. I should add a spoiler alert but if you want to know if you should read this; if you don’t get offended by those who take God in vain or want a break from seeing what churches honestly do and would instead imagine it, or if you like dark erotica, then please have at it.

As I’ve already said there is a lack of sex, here I was expecting an orgy, but the maidens must know virtue to a certain extent for any prospective buyers, so don’t set your hopes so high but the tease is worth it. The Prophet is a typical bad guy, on the one hand, he spouts all the religious doctrine to rule but he is like any other leader wanting the money and the power that comes from his position, but we’re supposed to be figuring Adam out anyway. Delilah with her quest doesn’t quite have a plan besides her work learning about the compound, seeking who she needs to know and payback but how will this bring all of Heavenly down on them?

Some of my favorite parts are near the end, that’s not a bad thing, but they keep you on the edge of everything else, and you have one more chance to turn away; ready, READY, okay when Adam and Delilah have sex so she won’t lose her virginity to The Prophet. There is also the escape attempt of the maidens from the compound that I couldn’t put down; I was as hooked as Adam was keeping Delilah from her freedom. Other than the sex there was the touching moment between Adam and Noah; I did say no dogs, but Noah has a lizard and a cat not that The Prophet wouldn’t kill them too, showing that Noah has a heart like Adam and if animals die, so help me God.

To think this isn’t my first read from Celia Aaron, I’ve also read “Dark Protector” another four out of five stars like this, always on the edge of glory and what will I give “The Prophet” which is the second book in “The Cloister Trilogy.” Until then my mother would be happy to know I’m back in the church but probably not this one but with such pretty girls and a man here or there I can relate to truthfully Hey There Delilah, My Maiden.

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

I’m no hero, but at the same time I don’t want to be just cannon fodder, and for sure I’m not Atlas trying to carry the whole world, but maybe somebody should tell that to my e-mail account or the guy wanting me to donate. No More Heroes Anymore

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Lesson 301 ~No More Heroes Anymore~

Hey Lady Lu,
I Am Not Fine Today, and in other news, I don’t need to be saved either and don’t worry I’m not about to turn all religious on you. Honestly, we wouldn’t have so many heroes if that was the case. Why don’t we ask ourselves why we need so many heroes and I answer, it’s because the world is just one big mess and yet we tell everyone to do their part, but look at all the charities, the programs, the ideology.

Hell you might as well call me a Republican, but then again I didn’t donate to babies when I was at the store today, and sure I didn’t want to but say I did, what about the puppies, what about housing, and there is always disease. There was this man today that called me “rabbi,” seriously I’m not religious, and this guy, just another black guy trying to make it in the world who only wanted to talk, maybe he needed a friend. Don’t get me started on friendship; you know “Cherry” can be draining, people talk about enemies but it’s your friends Lu that take it all, and no I don’t mean like that.

“I got enemies, got a lotta enemies
Got a lotta people tryna drain me of my energy.”
Drake ― Energy

How about the girl I saw today while I was shopping, beautiful and all but I didn’t want to mess up her day; another reason I’m not a hero, I lack courage, and to a villain, it wouldn’t have mattered. You see every person on Earth is their world, trying to save themselves, some find by helping others they indeed accomplish this, but that ain’t everybody though they continue to say that thinking of yourself is selfish. Personally and I’ve said it before, I don’t want to be the hero, and I feel so horrible saying that, I feel selfish, every day we are inundated with cries for help, justice, and those that can try.

“Nothing in the world is the way it oughta be. It’s harsh and cruel, but that’s why there’s us: champions. Doesn’t matter where we come from, what we’ve done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world were as it should be, to show it what it can be. You’re not a part of that yet. I hope you will be.” Deep Down

Maybe I’m just feeling overwhelmed at the moment as again I live “my” life not for myself but others, and when I do rest, I feel like I’ve wasted a day. I do it out of love for my dog, the needs of my job, the fear of my father, and the lives of my friends. The problem with being a hero is they only get to see the bad, and with victory comes no meaning, and at the very least a villain understands what he does, don’t I know.

Villains and tragedy give heroes purpose, and I have enough of the bad, but no matter what I say I only need one hero and that’s me, the rest of the world has plenty fighting to keep it going, so let them be strong, I’ll say No More Heroes Anymore.

“You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” The Dark Knight (2008)

I Will Have No Fear

The AXEL Man Has Cometh

I just wish I had a space bar I could hit, but this story kept my hands from doing this or anything else my hands might regret, but Axel and Aly are all about love and each other despite the past they can’t fight or kill but… The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Tons of issues but I don’t mean that terribly for the most part… indeed that’s what makes “Axel” so relatable to people, but this hit me on a personal level. It’s not a title I would have sought out myself, more a right place, right moment sort of deal, much like the characters of Axel and Aly, surprised no one went to AA, ok that was a lame joke, but there are plenty of issues.

This novel covers all of the bases, anger, mental health, sex, religion, but in a more realistic way than a standard all you need is love campaign, though there is a sweet love story from the protagonists. It doesn’t make any particular group look bad; I mean religious people often don’t like to be portrayed negatively and given specific events that have been unfolding around sex and such as I said this book points them out for all to see. I wish that were all I saw because I can’t give this book five stars right off the bat, but I’ll explain that soon enough.

Axel is a coming of age story as well, the difference between strong children and broken men, going into more of the latter when it comes to the heroes. It’s the realism that’s the real crux of the story, and that should scare a lot of people in a way when you think about it, and you will be long after you finish reading. The ending is a bit rushed as if you can’t tell how this is going to end; don’t get me wrong it’s an original story but easy to predict mostly and the surprises appear out of left field talking about WTF.

If you don’t want to head further in just know that Bry Ann is a hell of a writer, and I would admittedly delve into her work; not right away but I’m glad I did. Also if you like to think you’re without any particular sin you probably won’t like it but Axel, Aly, alright.

The good news is I can’t automatically place it in one particular genre and while the concept is somewhat familiar other than The Twilight Zone or the nightly newscast I can’t compare it to anything. Most of the characters find themselves out while others just drift with the barest of motivations but every persona should want something, and this delivers.

Messed up boy, good girl with twisted history sounds about right, also throw in a bit of Thirteen Reasons Why (so I found a comparison), and you have the story. Axle has anger issues, gets into boxing, and mental problems notwithstanding he has every reason to be pissed at the world. Aly, the proper religious girl with her growing anger at events but she refuses to let them consume her. Also, she was lost throughout the book not that you can blame her. A couple that is just perfect together, and I could relate to Axel on a mental level and anybody else will, with the past that haunts him.

His parents are well thought out, two people who just want the best for their son, but Aly’s weren’t so much, then again does this book need even more anger, still in a right way. None of the villains were spectacular other than the; you had a sister, I want the girl, this is a perfect life, reminiscent of The Count of Monte Cristo, or how the enemy of my enemy friendship, Axel with Aly, Ryan with Brandon. Other characters seemed just to pop in and what I mean is maybe there should be sort of a drifting in rather than a teleportation if that makes any sense at all.

For a book with so many psychological aspects there is a character here, or there I would have liked to learn more about instead of just the appearance and the disappearance of her. No character is wasted though, and the evolution of the protagonists is well paced beginning to end.

I’ll try to keep any spoilers small, no promises but if you don’t wish to proceed, a solid four stars but barely because of one critical aspect. As for my insights well, I feel a type of way about this title as I do with any other work read but as for my own opinion?

More often than not I blame myself and not the author, I received a free copy for my honest review, but my Kindle has a habit of making things disappear so being a man of my word I purchased a copy from Amazon since I lost the file. Now that should show that I think this work is promising and enjoyable but then I ask, did the author or the editor not know how to use a spacebar? I would blame my Kindle, but with the novels, I’ve stocked. I have never seen this many words just smashed together. I would be ashamed to share it with a friend even with the satisfying storyline and for all its merits and if a hard copy shares the same faults, I *shiver*.

I could have done with some vivid and hardcore descriptions, not Bry Ann’s fault but I think I belong to a specific genre and when I get used to that “type” of writing you find yourself craving more. Namely for me the romance and lack thereof, Axel and Sarah, Aly and Axel, Sarah and Ryan, Aly and Brandon but that’s just me, and it is somewhat refreshing to see Aly stick to her morals. The ending though seen, just barreled on me so quickly, I have done worse in my writing, and for the back end of the book, everything was predictable except for the sister who was just, whoa.

Four stars for significant spacing errors and a bit of an unfinished backstory here and there, I’m almost sliding back to three, but the story is fantastic if you can hang in there. Too bad Santa didn’t bring me a punching bag for Christmas, with my issues and another finished book, punches just seem right, The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone

The Catholics think they have some bad publicity but there are still plenty of them running around, not to mention several other “churches” glad I got to read about a fictional one for a change. Wake Up and Smell the Nuts Everyone, it’s pretty crazy.

“It’s only forbidden, but nothing to be ashamed of”
― D.S. Wrights, Wake

For the most part, no, I mean it was a bit slow in going but once it picked up, I was in a way rooting for the villains, not all the way to the end of course but I was somewhat impressed by the sheer villainy. Nothing to be ashamed of story wise though the editing, I’m no editor, not in the slightest, except when I’m noticing these things every few pages… seriously me being a writer, it puts the fear of God into me.

Speaking of God, I always applaud any of author with the guts to go after the religious even if they are a “cult” and we all know these sort of groups, lie somewhere and nobody can escape unscathed. You won’t find any voices of reason in this book, either everyone is crazy or lying to some degree just to maintain, whatever they hold sanity to be. Character development pretty much lies on one concept, how crazy are you and when will you cross the line.

Nobody embodiments that more than our antihero Samael, and the heroine Anna, Samantha, Anna, trying to be Rachel it gets pretty confusing for both characters and reader alike. I guess love is sort of crazy when you look at it and of course, this is one of those stories where somebody has plenty of cash on hand, and while it doesn’t justify the crazy, I’m sure plenty of women will read it. Guys too if they have ever had such and such a dark urge and I will not delve into that rabbit hole, here.

So if you’re ready for crazy and a whole lot of dominant males though I was surprised by mother Rachel which shows women can be just as evil then this is a decent read, I won’t say good, for plenty of reasons but again we will get into that in a bit first the rundown.

Crazy mom, decent grandparents, indoctrination into a cult, predators, molesters, oldest crimes in the oldest traditions, girl falls in love with a boy/man-child and then escapes without him, not her choice. Retaken by the cult, boy/man-child has been warped and still crying out for daddy’s acceptance is going to train the girl and if you’re into this genre you can sort of see where this is going, not rocket science.

Now a part of me actually wants to say I sort of agree with Samael because I know how churches/cults can be that’s why you start with children but the ending in a way negates all that. Him being convinced that Anna betrayed him but he was already grown if he could break through the conditioning long enough to help her escape how could he be so sure it was all her fault. He truly got me in the end though, you don’t see many stories that don’t end with a happily ever after scenario, a change of pace indeed.

In all fairness, with Anna’s background, anyone would be messed up too and the captivity doesn’t help with that so her staying the same throughout is par for the course. I do think her character was somewhat beyond belief but again maybe it was her upbringing that kept her from screaming bloody murder for the most part. The scene between her and Samael was explosive when they finally got her virginity out of the way, though the teasing was awesome as well, to an extent, it grew tedious after a bit but the stories of Samael’s past with Rachel were wow with a bit of sick to go with it.

I think the ending could have been something more if the other characters were flushed out, don’t get me wrong we get back stories to most of them but again beyond belief when Anna can just present an idea and okay it’s been years nobody thought to do this? The Church of the Second Reckoning and everything maybe the author could have flushed Joshua out more, and explained how he kept power, though I have seen infighting in most churches.

In all I give “Wake” three stars, it was dark, it was creepy, not the typical ending and pretty twisted indeed there was plenty to like and if the author would just get some new editing and crank up the sex but maybe that’s just me being a guy. The editing just pulls you out of the story, you’re falling right into and next thing you know you’re ripped out.

I suppose my favorite part is when Anna is alone with the Samael’s other two brothers, I guess I should also mention spoilers but come on, everyone knows when it’s coming. Personally, I could have used a bit more graphical language but just the fact that the hero doesn’t come in and save the day just in the nick of time. Also the ending, there are few books especially a standalone that leave characters still screwed up and just saying, okay this is life so deal with it as so.

Other than the editing, I think Anna’s character, like mother, like daughter, came off a bit too cunning with her manipulations, in a place where people are killing each other left and right, nobody had an inkling to I don’t know get to Joshua? The teasing got a bit annoying after awhile, I’m never sure with erotica but some are a straight sexual smorgasbord and others are, maybe, still waiting, and okay. Also while Sam’s dad was lying to him, why was everybody lying to Anna, okay she’s a kid but the fact that they lied while soothing themselves did nothing for Anna, the characters could be pretty dense if they weren’t psychotic or just plain mad; genius and insanity.

This isn’t something I would have sought out, probably because of the religious jargon but it hits the right note between what we know in the news and completely unbelievable. Three stars, pay the money for the editing I know I will, now if you’ll excuse me I might actually need a nap after this, exciting and my brain hurts.

Lesson 019 ~Preacher Man~

I’d sell my soul for… it really is too bad that God doesn’t make deals like that, I’m not much of a business man but I hear a soul is a valuable thing and I just won’t give it to anybody. Preacher Man, well I’m not on any sort of leader for real

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Lesson 019 ~Preacher Man~

Hey Lu,
I don’t believe in God, a bold declaration but is it not bolder to say that you speak for him and with his authority, talk about ulterior motive. So what brought this on, I figured Lady Lu I have been doing a lot of preaching as of late, makes me think about a new profession, relax, just a thought.

Here’s a history lesson, I was raised in the church for quite a while, even got to the point where there was this lady who said I was going to be a preacher someday. You know I have a reputation of being somewhat threatening, it’s called my existence but anyway I told her if she ever teased me again about being a preacher, that I would never step foot in a church again. It worked though I had no way of carrying that out back then, you know because of my parents, yeah I really had no choice in that.

“6 Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

Yeah, that would be my mother talking but bad news mom… not that she doesn’t know, hell they all know, I was freed of the whole religious sect and after that, better not to answer that maybe. Not that in the church my life was sunshine and lollipops, I may be stupid (yeah that would be my father talking), I don’t cater to a lot of black people (A.M.E.) and I learned to keep my mouth shut. I don’t think this was this the exact moment but, you know how I often talk about the moment I was told to shut up and I didn’t matter, it was my father in church the moment I declared atheism and told anyone that would listen to me.

“Fathers are supposed to show sons how to be a man in the world, but I guess the world is too much for you.” Nick, Fear the Walking Dead: Grotesque

Two things, first if we’re all children of God and Jesus himself couldn’t make it in this world, then how can any of the rest of us, I mean he literally came down to Earth on a suicide run. Secondly, my father wasn’t exactly the greatest role model, I mean I learned that a man looks after his family, that terror will always defeat reason, and whenever you’re in doubt just get angry, it helps.

“Once more into the breach, my friends, once more. We’ll close the wall with our dead. In peace, nothing so becomes a man as modesty and humility, but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with rage and lend the eye a terrible aspect.”- Kevin Costner, The Postman (1997)

I think I might have missed my calling Lady Lu, Philosophy, I always dig deep, now I could go on about my religious history but I think more to the lesson is power and leadership. Okay one more tidbit maybe that’s why I respected the reverend so much, I shook his hand every Sunday and he gave me a dollar, my parents stopped him but I kept doing it mostly as a dig but maybe I really did respect him.

“Heh, me lead you? Lady look at me, I don’t even know where the hell I am half the time!” Dogma

Most leaders these days I have no faith in whatsoever, that would pretty much be my managers and my father and I wonder why that is? If you’re asking me do I have faith… in the religious sense and again I’m an atheist but if there is something out there, something bigger and more powerful, and it has an ounce of benevolence I only ask that it be bestowed upon Braxton, if it takes care of my dog then yes I am blessed. As for myself being a leader, for the most part, no, who do I lead other than Braxton and half the time I feel like a negligent parent where he is concerned.

“I’m the enemy. Cause I like to think, I like to read. I’m into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I’m the kind of guy who wants to sit in a greasy spoon and think, “Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?” I want high cholesterol. I want to eat bacon, butter, and buckets of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in a non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jello all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to. Okay, pal? I’ve seen the future, you know what it is? It’s a 47-year-old virgin sittin’ around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake singing “I’m an Oscar-Meyer Wiener”. You wanna live on top, you gotta live Cocteau’s way. What he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here, maybe starve to death.

All right, then why don’t you take charge and lead these people out of here?

I’m no leader. I do what I have to do. Sometimes, people come with me.” Demolition Man (1993)

This is me most days, I do what I must for his sake because someone has to take command, someone has to accept responsibility and that’s something that most of the religious refuse to do. You take the hit, you take the lumps, I wouldn’t ask for God to save me because if he was going to… anyway, most days I know I’m going to Hell, which in another way is me being a bad leader because Braxton above all deserves better. Is it the journey or the destination; when it comes to people I look after me, except if we’re talking other “activities”, in life, in general, I don’t want anyone to be lost.

That’s another thing, walking by faith and not by sight, now this is a big thing with the religious but you know how people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, that I do believe. Is that why I look down all the time, I keep bringing up “the incident” nineteen days in Luna but maybe I don’t want anyone to know how bad my soul really is; again atheist but the thoughts continue, deprogramming is tough.

“And all I ever wanted is to be a better man
And I try to keep it real with my homies land
For me to save the world I don’t understand
How did I become the leader of a billion fans?” I Wish, R. Kelly

At work, people ask me plenty and 9/10 I don’t worry about it because everyone thinks they can speak for me, or they think they know what I’m thinking, or I can’t help but imagine that I’m wrong. In the end I’m not looking to have faith in a deity, I’m looking to have faith in me, the kind of faith I knew when I won awards at church, did speeches, I didn’t brag about God I bragged about me, the faith I knew when I would walk through after church and walk out with twenty bucks, the faith that was stolen when I was in school and told a cop I believed in me and next thing you know I’m in handcuffs (long story).

“Being a leader isn’t about ability. It’s about responsibility.

Got it, sir.

No, you don’t, Beck. I mean, you’re not just responsible for the good ones. You’ve got to be responsible for the bad ones. You’ve got to be ready to make the shitty call.

What makes you think I’m not?

Because you’re so damn good. You haven’t hit anything you couldn’t beat. I mean, hell, you were the one who figured out how to save the space shuttle. You made me, you made the rest of NASA just look like an ass. It’s just you’re used to winning… and you’re not really a leader until you’ve lost.” The Core

I told you about that girl once I was with and we were “roughhousing” and I grabbed her wrists and it scared her so I backed off, Lady Luna there are parts of my life where leadership, power, dominance come naturally to me but aren’t acceptable every day. That’s my problem, simulated violence, horror, sex, exist in what is supposed to be another world and this one will have no part of it, so that part of myself is locked away, that confidence, that faith, that truth and I am left with what I am to everyone else. Superman becomes Clark Kent and I wish I could find that man again, flying to the mountain top rather than tumbling off.

Strange that I believe that somehow or another I’m going to make it, mostly because of the little dog staring up at me because without him I might have no reason to. I might not lead people daily but my words have led to actions, talk about leading men to the promised land that I might as well be Moses sitting there while everyone else enters. As R. Kelly said, just be a better man and for some reason, someone might want to follow, better someone might want to stand by your side, no way.

If I haven’t said this enough, being a writer gives you a taste of that sort of leadership, that sort of power, though I’m not sure many of my characters would agree. So I have learned today; that there was a point in my life I liked the sound of my own voice but yeah I was no Preacher Man.