Saga 200 ~Forms of Virgil, B’s…~

It’s enough to make me hate writing? If it wasn’t signing my name on unpublished books, bills I have to pay, and the memories I created. It’s what Triple B is; a memory… So it’s B’s name, I won’t forget. Only those forms for 2V? Forms of Virgil, B’s…

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Saga 200 ~Forms of Virgil, B’s…~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can cheat on our taxes every which way, right? And the termite guy?

There is also running a business, even if it’s mine always. Beats the fucking Day Job. There’s my writing which I must love (obviously). But it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. There’s being a Dad too. Report cards, field trips. The responsibility for our kids’ actions. But always, there will be Braxton. He’s the one that I saw first, loved first. Yeah, I’m not ashamed to write down that I’m a fan of “FLCL.” I’ve been all about anime these days. I’m trying not to think about the last thing I signed for Triple B. Better to have XXX, huh? Because being an adult sucks even with all these blessings. I’m able to afford repairs, inspections, and appointments. Did I have to say that? I’ll never forget Braxton’s last one…

Every day is another step closer to what will be two years, Sunday, January 31, 2021. The doc lucked out. As I’ve said before, not once have I blamed them. No reason. It’s my fault. Wednesday, February 10, 2021… I don’t remember if I signed anything; I think I did. That’s the day I picked up Little Braxton for the last time. Fearing reincarnation, Tupac… Why must I torture myself with this fact? But Saturday, August 13, 2022, there’s Virgil. He’s not Braxton. Every day I believe that more and more, and who knows when it will be set in stone. When I will write it down in all its finality. A form of catharsis, confession, a condition of my surrender to the truth, love.

B is gone. A ghost, a memory, or a Cuddle Clone. Don’t I still need to see the tax guy? Well, we do, right? Let the heart speak, but we had to sign paperwork too. And I never intend to erase it or sign something to the contrary. The Band Perry’s “Better Dig Two.” Hell! You won’t be signing any papers for me yet. I have a son to remember, a wife to love, and a world to put in its place. Big talk for someone cringing at every bill despite being in our position. Lovers, parents, family but payment forms, cash, check, credit? Lover, husband, daddy. Easy signing at the bottom and ignoring the bottom line at rock bottom. Remember, Forms of Virgil, B’s…

716 Days Without B III, Day 157 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

Sometimes in January… this will be the second one. Not on the 10th, but on the 31st. There are so many dates I rather not remember. I can’t tell you when I found love but when I lost it. Yet the days keep falling off Calendars, B Tripping Virgil

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

Saga 193 ~Calendars B Tripping Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I won’t ever invest in Swanson; thanks, Tuckems. I’m more for Boston Market. Marie Callender’s?

My love, money didn’t change me. I mean, sure, as Forrest Gump said, “That’s good. One less thing.” I’ll be one for hoodies and jeans always and forever. Not that serious, but when I got new glasses, I wanted the same frame and, barring that, more Triple B’s color. When it comes to women, well, not to go all Alanis Morissette but AHEM “You, you, you oughta know. Hell! You know I love you, but when it comes to people, “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist,” as Andrew Davidson put it. Only with women, well… there was than Asian fetish I had. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, strawberry blondes, black hair. Look at the date; Wednesday is a year since The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Um, feelings…

And speaking of fantasies, Victorian Maid Maria no Houshi. And Katainaka ni Totsui de Kita-Russia Musume to H Shimakuru Ohanashi. I wish I could remember when I got into Hentai and cosplay. One of many dates I can’t recall. But there are three events this month. I’ve told you about one which was a little fucked up. With you and a therapist. I can afford therapy now. Oh, I have no delusions of myself being mentally healthy. I’m sure you can agree. Anyway, the first, of course, was New Year’s Day. God help me; I’m trying to keep at least one resolution. How many have I made for you, our kids, and the businesses I run? I know; I made one; keep Virgil Vivi alive.

Only this morning, as with every day, my first thought was of Braxton Barks Bradford. Did I say that out loud? If I wanted to be in the dog house… Well, it’s January. Where else would I be than with my boy this second year? I didn’t even take a nap when I got back. Love, there is so much to do. I’m not holding out much hope. Because, again, you can see all the distractions. I don’t want to think about it. And yet buying books, bullion, and biscuits. Though I haven’t set another one in B III’s memory. And what about us, love? You’re not something only placed calendar-wise. But, as long as I’m breathin’, Braxton will be “31st.” Calendars B Tripping Virgil.

709 Days Without B III, Day 150 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Chronicle 195 ~B A Head Taller~

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I had wings. Hell, I should start playing “Far Cry 5” with that grappling hook instead of having dangerous thoughts. Quite painful, but I’m alive if I’m searching for tortilla chips. B A Head Taller.

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Chronicle 195 ~B A Head Taller~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so I’m sure I could afford lifts, one of those grab tools, people, my Braxton, right…

Today is Sunday (Time-Travel), but what happened was on Saturday. I talked about having an epiphany, a revelation. I won’t go all into that. Better you could ask my man in the mirror, Chronicle 192 ~B A Man Of… Gospel 195 Nobody But Will’s Wife. Inspector, that’s what I’ve been doing these days. Reminiscing? No, that’s the wrong word. Reaching out for answers. And I want to say there is none, then Inspector, there’s truth. Anyway, let me start with Saturday at Walmart. My Ma made some Queso dip, and surprise, I’m out of chips. I ate hers, snacking. So the chips I want are on this high shelf. There are people. I can ignore the chips or reach and risk humiliating myself and so…

A person will choose physical harm to avoid mental anguish. I chose my mind over my body. I reached those damn chips because I didn’t want to know the shame of my failure. They’re all gonna laugh at you, but nobody did because I succeeded. But it hurt like Hell. Humiliations galore rule at the Day Job, but I continue to hurt myself there, Inspector. Dammit, I’m so tired this second, but I refuse any napping because of my mind Inspector. Physical pleasures Echo? I’m going out of my mind. Only let my flesh suffer, Inspector. Then there’s death. Ok, dangerous words always. Unhealthy grief? I’ve had 346 Days of it. I’m surprised I haven’t drowned in it. Between refilling Braxton’s water bowl. My tears, several releases, but no blood.

That leads me back into the mental or the physical. Again, every day I refill his water. I place his treats on the table. Echo, that’s what I hear my voice do when I call him for meds. When I tell him hello and goodbye. I set up his gates, move his bed, everything. I put myself through the physical task to avoid the humiliating truth. I failed Braxton. Fuck me, don’t sugarcoat it; I killed B III. My son, my best friend, is dead because of me, Echo. That is my failure and my disgrace, and I wish I had fallen from that damn shelf for chips. Let me drown in wasted water. Never do Onlyfans again. To die, I’d B A Head Taller.

346 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,

Lesson 336 ~Today’s Word Is ‘ Discombobulated’~

Is there a more confusing word than love, trust me other than taking care of the dog I have only known confusion, beginning and endings, and a desire to play one video game if you’re keeping track. Today’s word Is Discombobulated.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Lesson 336 ~Today’s Word Is ‘ Discombobulated’~

Hey Lady Lu,
Can You Love Me Again, hell that’s all you’ve been doing, you and your friends, since I got back into writing, maybe I should ask can I love you again and even now that word escapes me. Less than a month to see and I ask myself have I found any new loves, do I feel any better? I know I’ve had some good days, but I still feel so out of it lately, and of course, I should, work nearly killed me or dare I say, people, real and fiction.

Being torn apart by two worlds, what other word is there but Discombobulated, disconnected, unbalanced, thrown into confusion, perhaps fear gets a bad rap because I can always point out what makes me afraid. Nowadays when I’m not wasting time, I’m like MacGregor on the Colony, creating conspiracy after conspiracy some right on the money, others downright idiotic. Maybe I am going crazy or crazier, still making moves on one woman, while getting made fun of by some girl, and even thinking I’m living with a poltergeist, with a taste for Mr. Goodbars and Pop Tarts, amongst other things honestly.

I can’t get “Detroit: Become Human” off of the brain, I know I’ve probably failed most of my six impossible things, and at this rate, I won’t be getting paid the week after next, my damn day job. It could all be stress, and the method I usually employ to alleviate that stress is off-limits and would leave me depressed anyway, another two words, being pent up wanting to do something and then again wanting to climb into my bed, Bipolar. A part of me wants to dive into “The Art Of Peace,” but I have more stuff to read that isn’t helping the whole hiatus I have going on, but sex is everywhere Luna.

Even your name I think I should change to “Chloe”… Detroit: Become Human but then what happens when the next craze comes into play and you know there is always something else on the horizon, I can barely keep up. One of the reasons I like the rain except driving in it, the rain makes everything slow down, tears, hot showers, stopping pretty girls from leaving, you catch my meaning.

I’m more of a fire person, or I like to think so and didn’t I say I miss the anger, I miss the sex, and I miss being able to keep the house at a reasonable temperature. Machines, my mind, *sigh* “Today’s Word Is ‘Discombobulated.’”

I Will Have No Fear

DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

A reader is to a voyeur as a writer is to an exhibitionist, with some books we’re alone in the dark but with “The Director” talk about lights, camera, action; looking through this author’s eyes is just extraordinary. DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My

So filled by terror, there wasn’t room for shame or modesty while baring every part of myself to strangers. ― The Director, Lily White (2017)

The lack of the author’s fear is what impressed me the most with this title, no shame, no modesty, plenty of terror and nothing to apologize for, though I’m still not giving it five stars, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wonderfully wicked. A work like this is supposed to make you feel it, to see it, to make it believable and this. Honestly, I wish I could see it on my bookshelf; I hope I could see it on the big screen just saying, I’ve probably seen it in porn here or there I’m sure.

I saw once that we read to know that we’re not alone and I look at my writing, my life, and see the flack I take for it, but again Lily White doesn’t give a rat’s behind she shines the camera directly in your face and dares you not to look away. Maybe that should scare some people but I’ve never published anything like this and she did it, how I would like to know what was going through her head at the time of this but maybe I should focus more on Emma Hart. Now I won’t say the story is somewhat original but this fictional work does give a peek into an all too real world, mentally, physically and the line between right and wrong; yeah wrong and yet I read on indeed.

It’s the usual state of affairs, good girl, bad boy, and if you’re a fan of the dark erotica genre you can pretty much guess what happens next, but it is still well worth the read. No BDSM because such a practice involves rules while the sexual escapades in this are anything goes, and as Jigsaw would say, there will be blood and not just that of the victims. I was also quite fascinated with the artist, and I don’t just mean the author but “The Director,” and it calls into question what would we do to express art in such a form as this.

That’s what got me the most about Ethan Cole, keeping in mind the crime and the evil it was revealing humanity, how easy it is to toss it away and then pick it right back up but maybe we shouldn’t be able to. Speaking of which I didn’t want to put this down, but that’s like being one of the people behind the camera, however, could I continue to look.

Well first let’s start with the hero and villain, no those are the wrong words, the victim and the artist, “beauty and the beast,” I could go on, for now, let’s just say Emma and Ethan/The Director. For such dark subject matter, I found myself transfixed with the beauty of it all from the scenes Ethan shot, to the evolution of both characters and there is a moment that will break your heart entirely devastating.

Emma starts out as the typical woman, what is that wrong to say, walks out on a date with a man only to end up with several worse ones, and the devil himself Ethan. It’s with him that she is forced to evolve or maybe forced is too much counting the fact that she eventually understands where he is coming from, let’s hear it for Stockholm Syndrome of course. From victim to a warrior, to lover Emma pretty much goes through the usual story progression but the ending I have seen in a few stories.

Ethan, now usually I find myself falling in love with the victim but Ethan; I feel like I know him well, any artist and it doesn’t matter which kind whose heard no you don’t do that because it’s risqué, people won’t understand, are you crazy will relate to him. Yes, he’s a monster, but if Emma can fall in love, I can look at the guy as living the dream and after all Emma would become his masterpiece to be sure. What about the lies, I’ve seen those from the most innocent of things like “The Giver” when it comes to our life’s work our creations and the fact that we live such boring lives, seriously Ethan makes good points.

I was also all about the voyeurism and exhibitionism, along with ravishment concepts and it makes me feel somewhat taken aback but then the author wrote this, it’s a fetish to many, and even shows that say this is brutal still show it. Anyway, the focus stays mainly on Emma and Ethan and any other characters are merely extras, like on Ethan’s stage there is only a man and woman.

I can honestly say it’s a four out of five stars and leave it at that, compelling and wholly visceral but comes just short of that spark but honestly a favorite. Also spoilers ahead but as I so often state, in this genre, it always follows the same formula and if we’re lucky a twist here or there, though not The Director so much honestly.

When it comes to stories like this, there is usually a span of a few days, months, a year, but the fact that story looked like it could use a montage of Emma in action. It makes the book seemed rushed by the end, not surprising, not unexpected just quick, though the revelations brought out the artist in me and what would you do with no inhibitions? In a way in reminds me these true-life stories of survival, Lily White’s tale could easily be on the evening news, with her heroine Emma recounting the horror.

Though the most heartbreaking portion wasn’t Emma at all and I won’t spoil it but that twist, talk about being a killer. The idea that even in Hell the concepts of mercy, compassion, even humor are allowed to exist even amongst all the sex and death that prevail overall. What about the bad guy winning, in these stories the villain always finds a sure way to love but I’m not just talking about Ethan, and you’ll have to read to know more about that part.

You know what you’re getting into, a broken heart and the typical ending but the lights, the camera, the action, there is a reason that porn is continually evolving, and your tastes may change by certain degrees with this title. For better or worse, this is honestly so much better; Lily White is an incredible author and this work wow DIRECTOR, Producer, Lover, Oh My.

The AXEL Man Has Cometh

I just wish I had a space bar I could hit, but this story kept my hands from doing this or anything else my hands might regret, but Axel and Aly are all about love and each other despite the past they can’t fight or kill but… The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Tons of issues but I don’t mean that terribly for the most part… indeed that’s what makes “Axel” so relatable to people, but this hit me on a personal level. It’s not a title I would have sought out myself, more a right place, right moment sort of deal, much like the characters of Axel and Aly, surprised no one went to AA, ok that was a lame joke, but there are plenty of issues.

This novel covers all of the bases, anger, mental health, sex, religion, but in a more realistic way than a standard all you need is love campaign, though there is a sweet love story from the protagonists. It doesn’t make any particular group look bad; I mean religious people often don’t like to be portrayed negatively and given specific events that have been unfolding around sex and such as I said this book points them out for all to see. I wish that were all I saw because I can’t give this book five stars right off the bat, but I’ll explain that soon enough.

Axel is a coming of age story as well, the difference between strong children and broken men, going into more of the latter when it comes to the heroes. It’s the realism that’s the real crux of the story, and that should scare a lot of people in a way when you think about it, and you will be long after you finish reading. The ending is a bit rushed as if you can’t tell how this is going to end; don’t get me wrong it’s an original story but easy to predict mostly and the surprises appear out of left field talking about WTF.

If you don’t want to head further in just know that Bry Ann is a hell of a writer, and I would admittedly delve into her work; not right away but I’m glad I did. Also if you like to think you’re without any particular sin you probably won’t like it but Axel, Aly, alright.

The good news is I can’t automatically place it in one particular genre and while the concept is somewhat familiar other than The Twilight Zone or the nightly newscast I can’t compare it to anything. Most of the characters find themselves out while others just drift with the barest of motivations but every persona should want something, and this delivers.

Messed up boy, good girl with twisted history sounds about right, also throw in a bit of Thirteen Reasons Why (so I found a comparison), and you have the story. Axle has anger issues, gets into boxing, and mental problems notwithstanding he has every reason to be pissed at the world. Aly, the proper religious girl with her growing anger at events but she refuses to let them consume her. Also, she was lost throughout the book not that you can blame her. A couple that is just perfect together, and I could relate to Axel on a mental level and anybody else will, with the past that haunts him.

His parents are well thought out, two people who just want the best for their son, but Aly’s weren’t so much, then again does this book need even more anger, still in a right way. None of the villains were spectacular other than the; you had a sister, I want the girl, this is a perfect life, reminiscent of The Count of Monte Cristo, or how the enemy of my enemy friendship, Axel with Aly, Ryan with Brandon. Other characters seemed just to pop in and what I mean is maybe there should be sort of a drifting in rather than a teleportation if that makes any sense at all.

For a book with so many psychological aspects there is a character here, or there I would have liked to learn more about instead of just the appearance and the disappearance of her. No character is wasted though, and the evolution of the protagonists is well paced beginning to end.

I’ll try to keep any spoilers small, no promises but if you don’t wish to proceed, a solid four stars but barely because of one critical aspect. As for my insights well, I feel a type of way about this title as I do with any other work read but as for my own opinion?

More often than not I blame myself and not the author, I received a free copy for my honest review, but my Kindle has a habit of making things disappear so being a man of my word I purchased a copy from Amazon since I lost the file. Now that should show that I think this work is promising and enjoyable but then I ask, did the author or the editor not know how to use a spacebar? I would blame my Kindle, but with the novels, I’ve stocked. I have never seen this many words just smashed together. I would be ashamed to share it with a friend even with the satisfying storyline and for all its merits and if a hard copy shares the same faults, I *shiver*.

I could have done with some vivid and hardcore descriptions, not Bry Ann’s fault but I think I belong to a specific genre and when I get used to that “type” of writing you find yourself craving more. Namely for me the romance and lack thereof, Axel and Sarah, Aly and Axel, Sarah and Ryan, Aly and Brandon but that’s just me, and it is somewhat refreshing to see Aly stick to her morals. The ending though seen, just barreled on me so quickly, I have done worse in my writing, and for the back end of the book, everything was predictable except for the sister who was just, whoa.

Four stars for significant spacing errors and a bit of an unfinished backstory here and there, I’m almost sliding back to three, but the story is fantastic if you can hang in there. Too bad Santa didn’t bring me a punching bag for Christmas, with my issues and another finished book, punches just seem right, The AXEL Man Has Cometh.

Saved by The “Belle” College Edition “Beauty and the Beast

It’s alright, okay so it’s actually better than alright, not perfect but I’m probably just that much of a snob when it comes to this sort of thing. Saved by The “Belle” College Edition “Beauty and the Beast not Kelly and Zack but yeah Mr. Morris

I’m sure I’m not the only one who thought this, “Blake Morris” it was the first thing that popped into my head at the time. Unlike the actual Saved by the Bell show, this book didn’t suck, if you’re willing to suspend a bit of disbelief in a few ways.

First, this book hits a bit close too close to home personally but that’s a story for another time let’s focus on Skye Warren’s work, shall we. Another way to put home is that Mr. Morris was a soldier once and that fact wasn’t used as a ploy to sell more books *cough* zombies *cough*. Now if the story is supposed to make you somewhat nostalgic for the fairytale classic… a hit and miss in some areas, I wonder have they ever made a non-cartoon parody of Beauty and the Beast, one of those parodies and no I’m not looking it up at the moment.

Now I said suspend disbelief and I’ve seen this more times than I care to but unless the guy is rich, a professional criminal, or a biker boy most of these stories just would not work. I’m not trying to disparage this story but the idea that a poor soldier with scars could pull the young coed… it just doesn’t work that way but yes fiction and all and you have to make the man a beast in some way. Just another difference between the fairytale and this story, the beast was monstrous before his makeover, Blake was a hero that got a bad deal.

If anything it reminded me a bit of Quasimodo, all it would have taken is this song “Heaven’s Light” and I would have lost it, and as Quasimodo, Blake didn’t exactly have the opportunity to change his face. The way that Blake and Erin met though… again there is just no way, I mean adult films aren’t exactly known for story content but the opening to this story was wow.

Another interesting concept is when people bring up the mental health issues in the fairytale the big one of course is Stockholm Syndrome but this story brought up its own illness. The story itself as we all know who read this genre, not exactly inspired but Skye Warren is pretty much well established and she gives you a few surprises here and there as always.

For the most part, we have our heroes dealing with PTSD and broken hearts, I mean as soon as they mentioned military you knew those burns would not be the worst thing for Blake. The first scene between him and Erin in the throes of passion was heartbreaking, again this story hits me in all kinds of ways. The connections though take me back to D H Sidebottom’s “Caged” and “Chained” how Erin dated somebody who is related to somebody, who knows her mom and so on, a bit of family drama to be sure.

Now, of course, stop me if you’ve heard this one, maid and her client, student and teacher, some roleplay and the idea of pity sex and you pretty much have this story. Guys need the visual and girls are apparently all good with the words, with book covers I tend to disagree but the dirty talk in this chapter is downright filthy awesome writing. The end of the book, if anything I think was somewhat light, you know in these titles you expect a pretty ugly fight but everything went off without a hitch, refreshing and eerie.

Anyway me being me, the monstrous looks of Blake, his first days with Erin and her family drama I was fully caught up and I think you will be too. All I can say to gentlemen is what we know all along, women are confusing as all Hell and in all my years I have never met a woman like Erin unless again you have a ton of money, or a uniform but don’t mess up your face.

A four out of five without a doubt and I was oh so tempted to go to five, so yes I think we have established that I’m a snob and even with an author who I’ve read a few stories from. Getting the epilog is a done deal and if you’ve made it this far you know Skye has a pretty hardcore fanbase and this is just one man’s opinion.

Reasons I could not give this five stars… Melinda Jenkins, and Erin’s other paramours, to me they felt somewhat tacked on, every story needs the drama of course but I wasn’t convinced of Melinda’s motivations and as I said, mental health issues. Melinda was obsessed or just another woman upset about a man and it was all too easy to just let go, and the other guys just seemed to be there to show Erin being desirable which beats the Wanderlust idea of every guy being a would be criminal in the making. The parallels between Erin and her mom were there to be in relation to Blake, PTSD and all, also the author was stretching for some climax bring Erin’s ex into the picture for a light scare actually.

I have always enjoyed Skye Warren’s work and introduced Wanderlust to a friend who says it’s one of her favorites and was a bit of her introduction into erotica. I haven’t talked much about Erin’s character but that’s because I relate to Blake without the military background, money, and being cursed with my face, I wonder how many women see themselves as Erin though I know plenty who play Melinda.

“She needed to understand. This was how it would be, him leading and her placid. It was the only way he could worship her properly, because if she spoke a single word, he’d obey.”
― Skye Warren, The Beauty Series

This book in a way reminds me of some of the dating manuals I’ve read just from a woman’s perceptive, unfortunately, that advice is wrong which is why this is a truly awesome work of fiction. I’ve learned that authors can also make somewhat nice parodies and not just adult films but Saved by the Bell wasn’t high school or college really and this story surely won’t be your typical Beauty and the Beast fairytale.