Tag: Heart

The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits A Book Review

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How I wished for a five-star sequel, and here we are, and already I can’t wait until I get my first look at the promised land or “The Church” but “The Prophet” was able to move the mountain the last inch, so? The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits

Was it God, the “Father of Fire,” “The Morningstar,” hell one of the things I love about writers is the ability for us to play God and with “The Prophet” let me say in Celia Arron I trust no question. I am sure however that many of you do have queries and if the first one is this book worth a read, well my review of The Maiden (The Cloister Trilogy #1) was four stars, this one gets that final fifth star and well deserved.

If you want to see what I thought there “Hey There Delilah, My Maiden” was that review, as for this tale we are brought back almost immediately where The Maiden left off in a state of “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” Delilah is in trouble from all sides, The Prophet, the son, the senator, or would it be better to say the father, the son, and the holy ghost, either way, she finds herself trapped in Hell once again. The Prophet’s whose anger and madness knows no bounds, Adam who makes her body burn with unholy desire or the shame and rage that awakens through Evan Roberts who wants her for his own.

I brought this up before how religion will use beautiful women, and whether it’s their heat, the dark desires that burn inside because trust me if you read this title you’re not exactly innocent, or the knowledge of what The Prophet does, to quote a more reasonable madman, there will be blood. Besides The Prophet and Evan Roberts and the “hero” Adam other characters have been expanded such as Grace, Adam and Noah’s mother and Noah himself as the crimes against the maidens grow ever more heinous but who Delilah is investigating is brought to light. The sex is still somewhat subdued but with everything else that is going on and the explosive ending two sides of the same coin.

Some people might be turned off but this title revved me up, if the book were any more on fire I would be worried it might go all “Fahrenheit 451” in my hands, no this title is nothing like that only the emotions that will burn inside you from everything. Anyway, that is enough of me blowing smoke but remember there’s an inferno waiting once we pass the first darkness which is Delilah’s destructive indoctrination.

Spoiler warning ahead if you haven’t read the first book; ready, okay, we start with dear Delilah being locked away for her escape attempt from Heavenly Ministries and a while at least she is a shadow of her former womanhood. Adam Monroe is, of course, letting more of his sweet guy persona show while maintaining the brooding boy motif that makes all the woman go knocky in the knees as he lays even more of a claim on his maiden.

While The Maiden focused more on the sexual training of the girls and there is plenty of sex in this we see more of the violent side of Heavenly and the madness that has created The Prophet and his victims. To take the body is one thing, someone’s life is another but to declare war on the soul; I was somewhat taken aback at the shift it Delilah’s personality; it’s when I saw everyone else that I felt indeed a bit hopeless. Not that the characters aren’t good but how Adam is coming off with his new plans and I remember someone once saying that if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your ideas, the problem is as the song goes “there are too many prophets here” honestly.

Adam remains mostly the same, a love-struck fool, with violent tendencies albeit he has grown bolder but the things a man will do for love or obsession, to see that The Prophet could show such restraint when it comes to Delilah. If the characters aren’t chasing love it’s power which brings in some surprising twists and turns; there was one, in particular, that might have sucked me in and then threw me out of the story so much that I thought my Kindle was screwing up again. That part of the story comes back around eventually, but I was so confused for a bit, though it made my heart jump; there are other parts of the story that brought out a leap or rise to other parts of my anatomy.

Other that Delilah and Adam, Evan for as twisted as he is, I believe is quite compelling and if the location of the story hits too close to home for me, the politician I think we all know someone like that, *cough* president *cough*. One character meets a violent end; again if you got into the first book you weren’t holding out much hope for him or her anyway, but with the death, we are witnesses to one mind-blowing revelation; still, Delilah has no clue.

Is that the reason I gave “The Prophet” five stars, it might sound better than paying attention to Evan, the bloody nature of this story, the sex between Adam and Delilah or should I say Emily, big spoiler but I would have given anything to be Adam at that moment. Yes, there will be more spoilers from here on and things I didn’t like, but that can’t take away the five stars this book truly deserves, it is quite incredible.

For example, that moment Adam and Noah run into the FBI, my heart dropped and then the moment was just glossed over and eventually comes back around to one of them wearing a wire, what all transpired at that meeting? I would have liked to see more “Zombiefied” Delilah/Emily and especially would have enjoyed watching her beg before The Prophet after her torture or something between her and Sarah, but that’s only my wishful thinking. Delilah/Emily does a full 180 or 360 from hating The Prophet, loving him, hating again it happened a bit too fast for my taste honestly like her grueling torture could be reversed in seconds though I am grateful it happened.

My favorite part of the entire story was when Adam chose to save Delilah/Emily the only way he could, though he had already taken her virginity he needed everyone to see it done this time and that was the hottest action. Evan attempting to court Delilah/Emily and the other things he did to her, a terrible man but compared to The Prophet he’s a saint, don’t get me wrong he is all sorts of evil. There’s a toss-up between The Prophet killing and then finding out who murdered Delilah/Emily’s friend which I will leave because it is profoundly shocking but what is Adam to do; if he lives of course.

I give it five stars because it was a little bit sexy and a little bit bloody, throw in some revelations, and you can’t wait, but I am, so much stuff on my reading list but not if, when you get “The Cloister Trilogy” make sure you read them all because I intend to. Will they have to add another star for the third book “The Church,” the chapel and the cathedral are a bit too out there for my liking, what am I saying, The Prophet’s Proprietary Perfect Profits.

Lesson 353 ~Caged Hearts, Wander Away~

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My heart has a cage, and yet the love I feel is allowed to travel, and so I am not a prisoner, I am free to know what love is or at the moment empathy, even my dog is in a cage, but he went potty on the floor. Caged Hearts, Wander Away

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Lesson 353 ~Caged Hearts, Wander Away~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, I find love is not some finite resource, between me, and all the kids, including the four-legged one, you wonder why I want to make even more sooner or later my love. Speaking of which, where are the ones we got, I never pictured myself a helicopter parent or someone to relate to Trump but that’s why I have my first born Chihuahua outside surrounded by a high fence, I have to keep an eye on him and even you I believe.

Not in a Christian Grey sort of way; I trust you, and I love us, and I love my dog like pancakes, and as for our other kids, I love them like; hell, how can something so small create a love so gigantic? If only more people were like us, the idea of bringing life into this world of nourishing it, terrifies me because of the people out there and the people we become, it hurts me to lock up my furry friend how would I ground someone? As long as I don’t become a man like Trump or my father, heartless, thinking I can throw money at anything, favoring one life over another, violence *shudders* I want them to feel loved, proud, Live Brave.

“If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open.”
With Arms Wide Open

Sad that I look at my adopted son and see that he has become so much like me, so full of fear, anger, and hate, he doesn’t even like Star Wars, you do know I’m introducing Luke and Leia right… kidding Katniss, Tris, Ember, Lena, Bella, I could go on, and as far as boys, not Will, that tradition dies with my father. I want to introduce our children to a world full of hope, a place where they can choose because if we must decide for them or control them, then we have failed, they won’t go breaking statues or messing with gorillas. Everyone knows what I would do if someone harmed my first, may God have mercy on any who have no regard for what’s mine no matter the number of legs… as I said the things, we can become with such love.

Forever and always I want us to be a family, Mommy and Daddy, all the kids, nobody has a right to take that away from us no matter where we are as long as we love one another. I see so many parents alone or even losing their kids; I wouldn’t mind losing ours for a bit, because we’ll always be husband and wife as well; Caged Hearts, Wander Away.

Close Your Eyes And Wander

I Will Have No Fear

Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

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Would the motto of Heavenly Ministries be, to abandon all hope ye who enter here, well if that hope is five stars but what’s wrong with four; question what is wrong with religious people liking pretty girls; just me then? Hey There Delilah, My Maiden

The things you can get away with in the name of God; someone once said “Dom unto others as you would have God Dom unto you” and that someone ended up in jail for a little less than what this book entails overall. “The Maiden” by Celia Aaron is another title ripped straight from the headlines or at least it should be, we’ve got the stupidity of the “Prosperity Gospel,” the evil of the Catholic Church, and they made a mini-series about David Koresh’s cult.

With an understanding of this I rather watch The Maiden, if they ever thought to make it a movie because it’s a remarkable book, I was hooked and so is my erotica reading group, I would have read the sequels myself if they weren’t already reading them. This title hit home for me quite literally from the location to the type of church I knew as a child, to the family dynamic such as “perfect obedience.” There is a stark contrast between what is known as BDSM and what the general public believes, and using the church’s teachings to show that is awesome, the lives of the maidens and the families within Heavenly Ministries community.

Long story short we have this young woman, renamed Delilah who joins the cloister maidens of Heavenly Ministries, a bit of a convent; two words “Virgin Territory” a movie worth watching. Since when did convent become synonymous with the word brothel, and they have one. Delilah’s life is now the property of The Prophet. More importantly is the rights of his son Adam Monroe, another father-son duo *sigh* though the family is more nuclear, minus having a dog. The twist is what she hopes to find out from this church/cult; now those are synonyms being how I know the church to be; anyway another good girl, bad boy with kind intentions type of tale honestly.

Let me put it out there how churches will use beautiful women to entice people but it’s a thin line as with The Prophet, the people know one side, but he hides the other from them; sex as long as nobody talks about it. You should also be aware that as I said there is BDSM, but anyone that knows about abuse may do well to skip this though I think in both aspects “The Maiden” is rather tame somewhat.

Maybe I just read darker material though already being on the second book “The Prophet” that the darkness is cranking up, but of course that will be for another review I’ll try to stay on this one. As far as Delilah and Adam Monroe are concerned, I guess I do tend to lump all these characters together from different titles, the only thing that changes are motivations, and so there has to be something especially jarring, and with this, there wasn’t that in the Maiden.

Delilah other than her looks is the somewhat righteous girl looking to find justice which means infiltrating The Cloister as a Maiden, a group of twelve holy women who are to be placed by The Prophet’s direction to the rich, the powerful, and others The Prophet can use. Delilah without a doubt has a fiery personality which needs some breaking if she is to serve and that task falls to her protector, Adam. How does one find the truth in a web of lies because it becomes quite clear that is all that exists as the maidens begin their training and here’s a hint yes they will be on their knees, but it will be a lot less praying, shocker?

Adam is a man that I can relate to, hates his dad, doesn’t believe anything about the church that he belongs to, finds holy women hot as hell but moreover a woman that wants to tell him no but knows better. Now he can’t be the perfectly righteous man, these stories are never about that, but his feelings for Delilah drive him to defy his father and lead to some actions that could mean the death of them both. He also loves his mother; I swear if you give some guy washboard abs, a dark history, some unforgivable crime and make him declare allegiance to a girl, and you have 95% of the genre easily.

Other characters such as The Prophet himself as a hypocrite or Noah Monroe who is desperate for some semblance of a family and Grace the Head Spinner who I would take to be like Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid’s Tale only younger. We also have a slight bit of politics and heroics from everyone including other maidens and spinners and the network that keeps such an organization intact and running smoothly.

So why four stars and not five, other than my usual ranting, raving, carrying on about the general state of this genre the sex was kept somewhat to a minimum, only a pair of maidens I believe losing their virginity. I should add a spoiler alert but if you want to know if you should read this; if you don’t get offended by those who take God in vain or want a break from seeing what churches honestly do and would instead imagine it, or if you like dark erotica, then please have at it.

As I’ve already said there is a lack of sex, here I was expecting an orgy, but the maidens must know virtue to a certain extent for any prospective buyers, so don’t set your hopes so high but the tease is worth it. The Prophet is a typical bad guy, on the one hand, he spouts all the religious doctrine to rule but he is like any other leader wanting the money and the power that comes from his position, but we’re supposed to be figuring Adam out anyway. Delilah with her quest doesn’t quite have a plan besides her work learning about the compound, seeking who she needs to know and payback but how will this bring all of Heavenly down on them?

Some of my favorite parts are near the end, that’s not a bad thing, but they keep you on the edge of everything else, and you have one more chance to turn away; ready, READY, okay when Adam and Delilah have sex so she won’t lose her virginity to The Prophet. There is also the escape attempt of the maidens from the compound that I couldn’t put down; I was as hooked as Adam was keeping Delilah from her freedom. Other than the sex there was the touching moment between Adam and Noah; I did say no dogs, but Noah has a lizard and a cat not that The Prophet wouldn’t kill them too, showing that Noah has a heart like Adam and if animals die, so help me God.

To think this isn’t my first read from Celia Aaron, I’ve also read “Dark Protector” another four out of five stars like this, always on the edge of glory and what will I give “The Prophet” which is the second book in “The Cloister Trilogy.” Until then my mother would be happy to know I’m back in the church but probably not this one but with such pretty girls and a man here or there I can relate to truthfully Hey There Delilah, My Maiden.

Lesson 346 ~Everyone Says Hi Will~

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Why do I wake up in the morning, dog/kid has to eat and however do I expect to find him a mom and me a wifey not that I’m looking currently, what was I looking up all day today? Everyone Says Hi Will of course music for more playlists right

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Lesson 346 ~Everyone Says Hi Will~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, I suppose after your first cup of coffee or however it is you get up in the morning, and I should know, “I Wanna Know,” I need to know considering you wake up beside me every morning. Seeing you beside me lets me know that it’s a good life no matter what the day may bring, whether it’s my name on your lips, the cries of daddy from the children or the snort of my upset dog, it’s way too early sometimes.

How about for you my Sleeping Beauty, my Cinderella, would you like a kiss or would you prefer to dream, I wonder what I imagine right now because no dream girl could ever compare to you. Maybe I could use a few minutes more, but if there is one thing I could give more of its time and why ever would I want you to leave my side and if I get to admire the view it’s a win-win. What resides under our roof are the words and barks that matter and even the silence of my family, not the cold quiet of the family I grew up in but the family that we’ve created because Everyone Says Hi Will.

To think that word demands so much from me and yet when you wake up beside me all I wish to do is give; with only a kiss I feel like I can take on the world, you drown out all of my fears. A touch of your hand and “Baby, I’m Yours,” all Juliet wanted was Romeo to stay with her, and I’m sure “Mama Said” there’ll be days like this, days where all I’ll ask is for you to “Stay With Me,” or “Stay” a little bit longer. Yeah you know I like to wake up to music; if anything one of my favorite things to do is to wake up on Saturdays, and the two of us listen to some 40’s-50’s nuclear pop, my “Atom Bomb Baby.”

I don’t miss those Saturdays when my “father” would wake me up for haircuts and how I appreciate the dog protecting the kids from the big bad school day, as you protect me from the mean, cruel world, so what do you look forward to when you wake up? Seeing me, I expect miracles when you open your eyes, and you never disappoint, I love you means so much more when Everyone Says Hi Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 339 ~I Choose You Waifu~

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A thousand choices shout praises I read once but does it matter when all those choices are wrong or you don’t know anything about them, like Detroit: Become Human I almost forgot to mention it today. I Choose You Waifu, over my new favorite obsession

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Lesson 339 ~I Choose You Waifu~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, could you love me before, out of the billions in the world and how many choices leading to the right answer of you and me, us and them, the whole world? Where does one even begin, to tell you the truth I’d given up. I could make you an angel because I’d gone through Hell, a princess, a queen, my belle because I was a dragon, a beast. A storybook heroine and I became a writer so I could hold a woman like you in my arms somehow, someway I chose you.

“But I’ve already chosen. But this woman must also choose me.” Jake Sully, Avatar (2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-mYK2_XLP8

Perhaps this is what I’ve never understood, the reason I need to hear it every day, I want you, I need you, I love you, I choose you, More Than Words, because for so long I didn’t know you were real, hell I didn’t want you to be. I figured I’d screw up, maybe I already had, and no I’m not looking for some overblown story like HIMYM in fact if you liked that show’s ending who knows where we would be. Speaking of fandoms I wasn’t looking to hate or to love, but more for all that I could never have and the man I could never hope to be, theirs, yours my love?

“If you weren’t real, I would make you up now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true” ― Honey And The Moon

Instead, I saw you in every book I read, scary when you think it’s a mess of YA love stories, Dark Erotica, Dystopian Romance, and apocalypse survivors, if I were the only boy in the world and you were the only girl, would make you choosing me simpler. My Pinterest *sigh* I think I finally realize reminded me of math tests, I write the problem over and over, and when I found you when I chose to be with you, I finally needed an answer. “Unthinkable” isn’t it… that you were in every song, I chose to play about love for you to “Stay With Me,” about the “Power” to be the man for you. To be only a man because I’m only “Human,” and I thought that would be “Easy Street” but “We Are People.”

Hold On, everything will be alright when I thought about the two of us together, I may have had no clue who to choose when I was voting today (anybody who might support Trump didn’t get it) but with you, well… “I know I got to be right now ’cause I can’t get much wronger.” So you’re my choice, and every day I will choose you; I Choose You Waifu.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 332 ~Bend The Knee Will~

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Still struggling with my phone, all the girls text me nowadays, and that beats all the news that you can’t avoid these days and there wouldn’t be if people were allowed to take a knee, kneel to whoever or agree to love one another. Bend The Knee Will

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Lesson 332 ~Bend The Knee Will~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, you know how I feel about God, but here I am wondering “How Do You Talk To An Angel” without my phone that is, hell more “like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite” right? We fall in love, we can’t help ourselves because sometimes love is sick, it can be Heavy In Your Arms, and perhaps you’ll kick it under the couch, yeah aren’t we all fond of our phones my love.

There is nothing wrong with a man kneeling when he plays with his children, to think my “father” always spoke about my hair as a mess because I would be on the floor playing, that man knows nothing about affection. What about my first born, my little four- legged son is so short but I’m always talking to him, letting him climb in my lap, feeding him, and he’s not getting any younger. Neither am I; you can hear the crick in my knees, a man takes care of his family, and that doesn’t mean only financial obligations baby girl.

Then again I want that phone back, boys and their toys right, but there is a time to stand and didn’t I, right beside you, and ever since then, by your side, back to back, again I’m not one for God, but you’re my rib.

I have a spine to say I will kneel with those players who are protesting the injustices of this country and I will stand against those who wish nothing more than to destroy the ideals of our home; another thing to love about you and why I love us. This love I have for you, for all our children, for the place that we call home; if they don’t let people kneel quietly in protest we may be in for a world of trouble indeed.

There is many a reason to kneel, and you might have been the greatest one of all, the Greatest Love Of All, The Sweetest Taboo, and look who found their phone, and you’re mad but “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg.”

So “Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong” or maybe I should be running, I have to stay in shape a bit, but we’re still not becoming some football watching family despite how I support their reason to protest. Now the kids are calling for their rendition of “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” so guess I’ll “Bend The Knee Will.”

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 325 ~Takes Two To Tango~

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What if I were to put my phone down, there are some things you can only learn from practical experience, and you don’t want any distractions… love is the most important, but it’s a great big world outside. Takes Two To Tango I know that’s right.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Lesson 325 ~Takes Two To Tango~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, when you find out my movie knowledge isn’t unlimited, and even my playlists won’t last forever but speaking of forever what else is there to do with this thing called love? Maybe I got lucky… us meeting when we did and while I wouldn’t mind the kids living Cobra Kai besides watching it on YouTube Red *sigh*, I suppose I’d be learning right along with them maybe.

I might be a bit freaked out if they turned into sports enthusiasts, except for as I said Martial Arts, Running, and the Olympics. Of course, I want to see the world with you, and taking a class together, do they still pass notes, and we can always go for a run “Silver Linings Playbook” style. I never learned how to ride a bike and… hmm interesting that while I’m trying to think of things that make me put my phone down I get why we’re usually on our behinds. A dance class maybe, while I did learn for our wedding, “Dirty Dancing” was a bit cliché that’s why we performed that number from Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” was that before or after our lightsaber duel and zombie skit, such are weddings.

If we’re going out to eat why not Dave & Buster´s, now honestly you were always more than a gamer girl to me, or a “Dancing Queen,” yeah besides 40’s and 50’s Nuclear Pop, and maybe a Lambada class, I am a teeny weeny into disco. No wonder Facebook considers me a moderate, we could always go to a shooting range too, and it would probably help to have you around, a black man near a gun these days and here I am with an angel. Yeah, I suppose my comedy could do with some work but no comedy shows; let’s go to a museum, walk through a bookstore, some scientific inquiry.

Plenty of stuff I enjoyed alone and with you… the world seems broader and then again smaller, it’s like when I introduce you to something I have loved for so long, and I get to see it through your eyes, and it can be so big and beautiful all over again. I get to see you as a friend, lover, wife, mother, and maybe that’s what scares me, the love I feel the love you feel for me I need it to spread so I can live and when we can share a love of something… or I could only love your butt; Sir Mix-a-Lot fan I’m afraid.

It all starts with me asking you to dance though and when did we first do that my love, they say, Takes Two To Tango.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

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Homework I could see myself getting into, I can’t remember anything of Algebra which means any future kids of mine will either be super smart with their mother or might need a tutor but anyone learning to love… “Can Pencil You In”

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Lesson 318 ~Can Pencil You In~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, even if I don’t know the right answer, understand the question or I tend never to give up, I suppose you might also call it a bad habit? In school my favorite subject was history, and now here we are making history as there’s never been a love like this, don’t I think highly of myself, of us, nothing people will ever write a book about but don’t I try plenty though.

Not in a foreign language though, I failed French, wanted to learn Japanese, and while we both hate Trump I can’t say I’m a fan of Spanish, Mexican people are great and maybe I figured I would have to travel the world to find you. It also explains why I didn’t do so well in Geography either; so lost without my phone, my music, and of course Lost Without You. I thought I never would which leads me to Reading. I lost myself in books, where I imagined that you and I were together, but I was never the right guy, from Young Adult Novels to Dark Erotica as you can tell from the library, and I was so busy avoiding everything else, just saying.

I created stories, wrote poems, even a song here or there inspiring me in what you would indeed be like and for a man that didn’t do well in languages, English wasn’t my strong point either. Honestly, you were more like Math but then explain to me why I love you so and I hated numbers; I would write the problem, again and again, thinking, maybe one day I would get it and “then there she was” there you were. For all the things I was supposed to be learning, and all the teachers I’ve had in the end and I honestly did have some memorable teachers but it was man’s best friend my first born four legs and all, and you my beautiful wife, who taught me the best.

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.” ― Forrest Gump (1994)

“We Found Love in a hopeless place” okay maybe life isn’t but I sure was a hopeless romantic, and with all the things I’ve “learned.” How to truly love another person, how to be the better man, the man I wanted to be, the man I have to be, I must be a genius. I still don’t think it was God, but somehow, someway I found a tutor for this thing called life. If living without you was Math, then living with you it’s like learning how to write finally, to once and for all answering one plus one or two plus two, thank you, Winston Smith and Captain Picard.

Yeah, I’ve learned plenty being a fanboy but being a husband, a lover, a father, well “I Want To Know What Love Is” so as you “Close Your Eyes And Wander” in dreams my love, tomorrow morning and forever maybe I Can Pencil You In.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

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How many ways can someone say those “three little words,” and in how many different ways, so many others seem so much better at it, and when it comes from me, it’s me saying it but can I be more? Want It That Way, if I could?

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Lesson 311 ~Want It That Way~

Dear Future Wife,
Can You Love Me Again, as if you ever stopped or would, and “I Swear” and not “By the moon and the stars in the skies” or shall I quote the bard:

“O, swear not by the moon, the’ inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circle orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.” William Shakespeare

My love threatens to consume me, to hold me to this place that is by your side and yet grows to everlasting and so I’m always searching, reaching, and chasing after you, “Hanging By A Moment” okay, and now I will put down my phone.

To think I would have you love the world before me or if I loved myself the way you love me, I’ve become a broken record, a remix, it might be downright theft, but it only reminds me of the day we first met. The man I was before then became lost to better words, ideas, images, not that I could ever lie to you, no I wanted the distance, not that I feared you either, so was it the chase? Here I thought I was the one to do that and maybe that’s why only now I’m starting to catch up because I wasn’t running towards you, I was running away, waiting until I was sure; takes a lot.

“I just, I know we don’t know each other all that well or anything.
But circumstances are making it, so we’re all getting kind of close in here.
You know? So don’t let me run, OK?”

“OK” ― Containment 1×04

Seems dumb I know so far into marriage, how long has it been, how many kids, my dog getting old in the tooth but what am I not sure of after all this time. What reason do I have to doubt the woman who has stood beside me, shares my bed, and who has given love meaning? How can I challenge the man I am today that’s somehow managed to accomplish this, to live “The Impossible Dream” to be more than an “Escape” … see I’m still copying what am I trying to say in my words, my dearest love?

I love you… I can say that forever, and a day only I always want more, if I were a man of faith, I would say I’m reaching out to God to thank him for you, but I would go to Hell happily “For The Love Of You,” “My Goddess.” Yes take my hands in yours, make me forget to think of anything or anyone but you and I here and this will be enough, my gift, the man that disappeared so many years ago, his story every last word; you’re making it all possible.

So before I break into the Backstreet Boys, Sam Smith, or croon “Let My Baby Stay” speaking only as your husband, your love, take all the time you need to love me now, then, and in the future and know I Want It That Way.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 304 ~Can’t Buy Me, Love~

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Maybe I shouldn’t work so hard after all I have all I need. Only you’re a gift and why do I continue to try to wrap you up, I’m not “Cyrano de Bergerac,” not anymore. What about a library, I can love books and you. “Can’t Buy Me, Love”

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Lesson 304 ~Can’t Buy Me, Love~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Fine Today; I’m a traditionalist, I’m classic, flowers and candy, oaths of love and sometimes I regret there are no dragons to fight… not a Game of Thrones fan but we can sit here and watch The Walking Dead or Into The Badlands. How much is it I wonder to get into Walker Stalker or to buy costumes, I mean real outfits and not what’s already in the closet.

Now allow me to sound cliché when you ask me what I want, and I answer “All I Want Is You, ask me what I need and “All You Need Is Love” but you want to know really, you roll your eyes at me which brings out my Christian Grey. No not his budget which never mattered to you, but what do women want, and I would say everything, and in one way this fits us perfectly. You may not want it or need it and my dear I already have it in you but can you knock me for trying, blame the knights of old, those princes in the fairytales, or blame Tony Montana.

“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” ― Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)

Every day I ask how I got so lucky that I met a woman that appreciates terrific cinema, and classic ideas, not conservative as we have so much love to give and maybe that’s why I feel this need to have more. “Baby, I’m Yours,” and you’re mine but am I so hungry, so selfish for you that I need to hoard every one of your smiles. Every idea, your eyes in the mirror, because it gives me a reason to smile, another beat of my heart when it’s not skipping, every breath in this body. A guy could save the world just for the honor, the pleasure of being right here with you, and still, I would give you the stars if they weren’t in your eyes. The moon if you weren’t so high above me, and the planets, well I already have Venus my goddess of love Aphrodite.

Would you stop me from building you a library, from turning our home into a garden, how about having a house at all, a castle, a vault, somewhere to keep “my favorite, favorite thing” your heart? I must be on my way to Hell with how I want to long for you, my greed for you, wanting to lie here with you and never leave. How I’m so proud to call you mine, how envious that I want the world to know you and then no, not to mention a ton of other sins and maybe that’s why I don’t get religion, speaking of blasphemy…

Why would I await treasure in Heaven, I found you angel, and that’s enough, no one else, not even God itself gets me, you love are priceless and timeless to me, Can’t Buy Me, Love.

I Will Have No Fear