Tag: Love

Gospel 090 ~Will You Blame Me~

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Babbling, Blaming but Behaving as it is Tuesday. Nobody ever blames me for making sense or being a nice guy. Anyway, I suppose my future wife is looking forward to blaming me, and yeah, it will be guilty as charged, probably. “Will You Blame Me”

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Gospel 090 ~Will You Blame Me~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now because I want to give you the world? My Love, I’ve told you, I’m a Traditionalist, and my Mom raised a gentleman. Well, she did her best. Only you can put the blame on me. Yes, baby girl, I’m all guilty about a great many things. Now I could blame society on top of being one for ahem TRADITION. I’m a movie buff. They’re all filled with men being in the wrong. I could blame um… nobody, yeah, no one at all. For the record, I never understood what I was apologizing for. How about fear?

It didn’t stop me when it came to you. Still, as the song goes, “Fear is the Heart of Love.” Only that’s my fear, and yet you’re here. We chose to share our lives, and isn’t this it. How can I give such terror to the woman I love? See, I want to say I’m sorry for such a thing. What about repeating myself over and over? I know you heard me, I know it’s okay. A man said that his girlfriend was the first person to have any faith in him. You, sweet baby doll, are the first person to ever hear me and not reject me, roar at me, or go running away. You can blame me for wishing to know everything about you. THEY say what you know can’t hurt you. Hell, I’ve told you everything, and even now, I’m sure I’m lying about that but not intentionally. It’s the guilt, though.

Will you blame me if I can’t be the husband you deserve? I love you, but I have dreams, and maybe one day you’ll be the last. You’re the one that I hope never ends, but my writing, my woman, and my world. I’m guilty of wanting everything. It’s never-ending. Will you blame me for not being the best father? I never was even when it was only my firstborn. I know that money isn’t the end all be all. Now that was my father. There’re reasons you’ll never meet him. He showed me how not to be when you wake up suddenly you’re in love. Will you blame me for losing and trying again? For knowing that you might hate me someday. Yes, for being the man you chose?

Guilty of loving you always. Now, will you blame me?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 083 ~When Will Is Enough~

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The will to succeed and to love; if only I believe and as Whitney Houston sang, “I believe in you and me. However, these days I’m more for Whitney Wright. Only she’s not the one that cost me everything. “When Will Is Enough,” because that’s all I got

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Gospel 083 ~When Will Is Enough~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. Because I studied great men like Dennis Hof, Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, among others. Now, what was it I said about listening to old white men? Well, Baby Doll, I’m not trying to be president, and if what I do hasn’t got you running now? Anyway, you know I’ve been having a hard time as of late. One of my places got shut down; girls, guys, green of those dollars. I remain a traditionalist. A man provides, and if he can’t, then why does he have a family, to begin with.

I think back to my second best friend’s wedding. I remember the preacher man saying, this guy is terrific, but he isn’t Jesus. He said that my friend, the bride, is fantastic, but she isn’t Jesus. Now you know I have to sing, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Entertaining, am I not? I guess I’m better in book form. The will to plop down and write a story, and for what or who? It’s better now that I am a success and then something like this goes and… it hurts My Love. It’s like a physical blow that somehow hits the soul too. You know how I am with touch, and my Dæmon suffers. Having someone you love (his grandfather) kick him four feet is enough to make anybody jumpy. A bad joke but this all feels like one lousy joke, you know.

Those incredible men I mentioned above did other things. That’s before getting into the lifestyle. I am who I am. Only to this day, I will tell anybody, I’m a bad man. I suppose my mother would be ashamed of me, and yet Baby Girl, you’re still here, you’re not leaving. Everything is ripped away, and it’s not the end of the world. Dennis Hof did his homework on Dale Carnegie. Great men are made by other great men. They all had the will to keep going despite hard times, hateful people, hits that put Flynt in a wheelchair. “Cause your love is my love, And my love is your love.” How about “Love is all you need.” A woman like you heals my soul and my body. I want it to be enough, which is probably why… That’s a conversation for another time, hmm.

It worked for Christian Grey, but When Will Is Enough.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 078 ~When Will Balls Out~

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Well looks like I’m in for a bender over the next few days. SIGH, I was hoping taking time off for “Existence Day” would stick, but I only lasted 13 days, and so far, I can’t get past 12 hours. When Will Balls Out… if only I could make money my drug.

Thursday, September 17, 2020

Gospel 078 ~When Will Balls Out~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but don’t wealthy people only worry about money? They say more money, more problems, I say come give me the drama. I heard that in a song once, and I would kill for such issues. Today though, I’m all clear eyes, full heart as they say. Yeah, I hear ya, Dirty Diana; that means I broke again, and no, it wasn’t with fucking some girl. It’s Adult Supervision Required (Scene 2) with Brooke Logan. I value you myself on being creative but in the end, give me a hot brunette.

Hell, if I kept it complicated, I wouldn’t be feeling this way today. Sad but still Iron Will. Before Brooke, it was Cherry and her Mum. Both Mum and daughter, titties out servicing my BBC. Well, this is turning out to be another one of those conversations where I’m ashamed to even post it. One more reason to wish for wealth over pussy. Well, I am a proud American, Dirty Diana, wanting to fuck three girls from the UK. Two from Poland, Teen Kasia, and Misha Cross. God, the things I would do to some Russian girl. Okay, Will Turn-offs:

FEET!!! Sports with the following exceptions (Wrestling and The Olympics), Gospel Music, Water Sports, Pegging, Scat, Bestiality, Racists, Heavy Drinking, Meanness (Outside of a SCENE), Smoking, Foul Language in inappropriate settings, Overly Critical, Dramatic, High- Maintenance, Way too many Tattoos, Talking Too Much, No Intelligence Thoughts, Doesn’t Like Books, Reality Show Junkie, Ice Queen, Flirting With Others, Lateness, Dislikes Porn, Laziness, Long Fingernails, Narcissist, Picking Fights, Overly Religious, Addicted To The Phone, No Fashion Sense, Can’t Cook, Controlling, Not into BDSM, Faking It, Into Weird Diets, Doesn’t Know Anything About Gaming, Doesn’t Like Animals, Anything Against My Furry Kid, Masculine

Well, just like that, Dirty Diana, I’m right as rain. I should print this list out and tape it somewhere. As I’ve told you before, like Dennis Hof, when I cum I go looking for the next party unless I’m by myself. Last night I felt pretty fucked up and went to bed. Of course, that means I woke up late. Now, if I had been with, let’s say Ginny Potter and Becky Le Sabre, or should I stick with Cherry? Anyway, I would be wide awake. Sex is Coffee.

My personal heroin, like Twilight. Like When Will Balls Out

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 076 ~Will He Get Likes~

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Tell me about yourself? If only you knew how hard it is to come up with shows and movies. Yeah, I’m an open book, but I find out I’m not that likable when I’m being honest. Well, this is honest, but… “Will He Get Likes,” maybe with a special someone.

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

Gospel 076 ~Will He Get Likes~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and that’s because people are obsessed with me. Well, more to the point, I hope you are. Of course, I’m thinking in a Taylor Townsend sort of way… The O.C. I saw every episode of that show. One more thing I love about you is that I don’t have to explain all my pop culture references. From the poem Give Me A Chance by Beau Sia’s. Yes, I am a bit of a pop-culture whore. To Star Wars. And to this day, I still remember sending my second best friend home for falling asleep. That’s love.

The things I watch and read to those I dare to dream would make anyone want to run away. That’s why I’m an open book with you, My Love, but I keep in mind the words of my “Big Sister.” “You can’t build a strip club next to a school,” she told me. Of course, that was before we penned the best story I’ve ever had my name on. Even that, I can never share with the whole wide world daily. Maybe that’s why I’m needy? Um, that’s no good but my taste in media…

The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, WWE, Z Nation, Cobra Kai, Colony, Secret Girlfriend, Into The Badlands, Solitary, A Million Little Things, Containment, Ridiculousness, Firefly, Dead Like Me, Rahxephon, Girlfriend Reviews, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Survivors, V, Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, How I Met Your Mother, Blue Gender, Battle Royale, A Quiet Place, In Time, Pontypool, Everything Everything, They Live, The Belko Experiment, Hunger, Star Wars Franchise, Marvel Franchise, Young Adult Franchises, Passengers, Nerve, Blindness, Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World, Dogma, Daybreak, Fifty Shades Of Grey, The Purge Franchise, Snowpiercer Franchise, Apocalyptic, Horror, Sci-Fi

Yes, I’m still working on my profile page, but I shouldn’t bring my work home. You kind of like my work, hell you’ve read, watched, and been a part of it for the record. All because I’m worried people don’t like me. Nevertheless, you love me very much, and what age are the kids again… teenage years SIGH. I must sound like a fossil sometimes, an old dusty book on the shelf. Still, you pick me up, and I’m not sad only; it will be a long day of hope.

Hoping is exhausting, love’s peaceful, but Will He Get Likes?

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 071 ~Blow Out At Will’s~

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First, there were schoolgirls, then maids, now I’ve decided to go all out. It’s my party, and I’ll cry if I want to. Well, it’s not my tears I’m worried about, and with the pandemic, I shouldn’t be blowing out anything, however. “Blow Out At Will’s.”

Thursday, September 10, 2020

Gospel 071 ~Blow Out At Will’s~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means there should have been cake. Hell, I haven’t felt right since “Existence Day” as there was no steak and baked potato. I’ll Always Love My Mama, as the song goes, but the last thing I need is her reading this. I’m still thinking about something a friend was talking about. Am I wishing for love or someone with legs spread? As always, Dirty Diana, I’m all about the Yabbos. Now last week, I was talking about a maid and future Existence Days, but if I had cake, um…

Well, what guy doesn’t wish for a Three-Way? Even with my “experiences,” that’s something I haven’t done yet. I still have my Red Dawn Fantasy staring Alice Little and Ruby Rae. If I had a million dollars, she’d always say no. I have plenty of those fantasies. Ravishment is the polite term for it. I can’t even conceive why I have one Desmond Ravenstone’s books sitting on my coffee table. Today is supposed to be a good day. Only I didn’t read anything I was so tired. Yet if the book’s not enough to frighten… Speaking of scaring the ladies, I remember that lady in the parking lot asking for money. Hell, that was last year, and life is not one big porno. Why can’t it be Diana? It would’ve worked out like Street Blowjobs. To fuck a hot MILF would’ve been well um (drools).

Now that leads me back to MILF Dos. I’ve made it a week in NO FAP once again, which means I’m delirious outta my mind. If it’s not her, then it’s Cherry. I’ve always wanted to be a girl’s first, but at the moment, I’m in serious need of a blowjob and some big Yabbos. Not fake, but not that I’m judging some pornstars. Yet another thing on my wish list is to make a porno. More to the point, I want to make that my life’s work as I was speaking about yesterday. It beats carrying a shit ton of boxes of who knows what these days. However, what about my writing? If there is one scene, I return to in any book. It’s Rainey Summer Day, getting fucked by her Mom’s boyfriend in The Five. Recreating porno scenes and books… Am I weird?

A year older, wanting my candles; Blow Out At Will’s

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

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Well, one more Existence Day down, and unfortunately *AHEM* Spotify, Mensa, Hulu, and Adam &Eve remembered. The good news about being with me is I’m not one for celebrations besides Star Wars Day. “The Will To Exist,” I get Star Wars, but why me

Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Gospel 069 ~The Will To Exist~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and may the world forgive me for my selfishness. More to the point, may you forgive me, My Love. As Will Smith put it, “I’m being the best lover and friend. Am I being the best daddy I can.” Is that all I’m going on, these 36 years? I’m not regretting a moment of it. Still lying here beside you and her. Hell or sitting in my bed with my sleeping firstborn as usual. I can’t help but ponder the man I am, and I don’t mean only surviving my day-to-day.

I want to be real with who I am and again, being here at this moment shows me that you see. Now I didn’t become the man that you could love, I’m the man that you decided to love. Does that make any sense? A friend told me to compromise who I am for love. I’m not Wayne Brady. I’ve been talking about listening more to black men I like but back to my point. Anyway, he made a list, “The List,” of everything he wanted in a woman. You’re everything I hoped for. You’re everything I need.” Yes, with my music, I know Love. Somehow I’ve never gotten to what I want in myself. I know I want, like everything, I want lots of love and little ones, but what of the man inside. I’ve always hated yesterday until, hell, I don’t know. My parents weren’t happy I arrived, nobody else either but you, baby doll, that I exist.

You’re mine, and I am yours always, that makes us happy. I’ve never agreed with those people who said you have to love yourself first. You have to be in harmony with who you are. I found peace with you. Baby Girl, I’ll note millions of reasons with us. I know it to live hm. Is it only a Billionaire status… of course, living the dream. I can think back of a time when lying in bed, hoping I didn’t get humiliated at the Day Job, was as good as it gets. I was without direction, without purpose. My Mom would tell me I would find my way… another song.

How about a few like Chasing Cars, “if I lay here,” add in some U2 “With or without you.” Martin Luther King Jr. could be right about a man having nothing to die for, maybe.

“If a man hasn’t found something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Still The Will To Exist…

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

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Well, I’m back to time-traveling because I will be too busy surviving the day to bother with writing. Today is like someone announcing the annual Purge and that means I have to hide. Only if I were to have the Perfect Day… Willing Existence Day To Be

Monday, September 7, 2020

Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~

To Existence Day #36

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, yes I am. Madam Justice, today is not about a rule. It’s Existence Day. Now yesterday, I talked about reality, but today I want to speak on Existence Day um, why not now. So if you dare…

My Dæmon is an old man, much like me. He has a little beard, maybe a few gray hairs, but he runs around with my two-legged kids. If I have a son and daughter, of course, Luke and Leia. Three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Anyway, how’s breakfast in bed? My loving wife has long gotten me over hating today. She was up early for a “variety” of reasons, and after a kiss, good morning, she’s taking pictures. After breakfast, there’s a shower, but of course, I’m not alone, and why would I want to be. No more hiding today. As I walk through the house, several of the staff are wishing me well. I don’t grumble at them. I don’t have my earphones blaring away. Even now, hearing my voice sounds a little weird.

Now I’m not working today, but somebody has to keep things running. Before my beautiful wife, I would probably have a celebration at one of my many brothels. I have established several, so there’s plenty of stops to make. Everyone’s excited, and the gifts wow. That wonderful wife of mine has a surprise at the studio. Most of the staff will be taking a lunch break as we make a movie. I swear the woman is insatiable, and I’m getting used to my birthday suit.

We take the kids to the beach. While I’m still not much of a fan of the water, my wife is a talented swimmer. My Dæmon is barking his head off, but he’s trying to pull the kids away from the water. He’s getting too old for this stuff, but what about me? My age? Heading back to the house, well geez, everyone has arrived. Cosplayers, writers, some of the tamer girls I know. Indiana Gone, M. Anime, a couple of the MILFS. I don’t dwell on those missing, and my mom is a bit freaked out, but she did raise a gentleman, I think. “Surprise,” my wife announces in her dress, and she brought a friend. Happy Existence Day.

To me, that would be perfect, happy to be alive. Willing Existence Day To Be

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 064 ~Something Will MAID Up~

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Last week it was schoolgirls, and today it was maids. Now I could use both, but if pressed, at the moment I could use a maid because I’m tired as all Hell and that Hell is coming in a few days “The Day.” Something Will MAID Up or my parents

Thursday, September 3, 2020

Gospel 064 ~Something Will MAID Up~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, hopefully before I’m married. Who knows my wife may understand my business? Not to sound like an asshole, but she may clean up after me. She may even speak Spanish, not that it’s a requirement. Now with maids well, if she cleans well and is hot as Hell, I can give her a job. To be honest, and I’ve spoken of this often enough, I drove away my last maid wanting to see her without her pants. More to the point, get into her pants SIGH, Okay. Today should be “happy” but T-Minus four days.

I talked to Inspector Echo yesterday about how I’m not “knocking boots,” “playing twenty-toes,” or the like. No, Dirty Diana, I’ve been on a cleaning kick. Do you remember “The DAY” I felt Okay up on the loveseat as we watched Twilight: Eclipse. Later on, I watched movies with Indiana Gone. Now that was the best DAY ever. Of course, you know what I want to do. I got two days off from the Day Job. I hate everybody there. But if there’s moaning involved, let it be Jade Jantzen, Ariela Ramera, or Ariella Ferrera.

Yes, I got all into fucking the Latina maid some time ago. I still hate my “father,” but he was right; I should have taken Spanish, and I did later, but I went to French class before that. Can’t speak either, but besides English, my second language says Money Talks.

Bella Rose, Abbey Rain, Mia Rose. Not that the lot of them required money, scene wise. One lost a bet, Abbey needed her hotel job, and who cares, Mia Rose is fucking perfect. She’s in my top five. I’ve already confessed, I clean the house before the maid gets here. The last girl I asked to clean well… yeah, I’m a bad man, I’m a bad, bad man. So seeing as how the next time we chat will be after “Existence Day,” thank you, M Anime. I continue to ask why am I going through all of this trouble. You should see how packed my coffee table is. It would freak out any woman the layers of filth. Oh, I don’t mean levels of dust.

I might be back to time-traveling so as not to work on Existence Day. Something I can blame on my Olds. Something Will MAID Up

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

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Last week I said something about people disappearing, and I don’t need the usual magic words. If you ever read what I write, it’s like Spinelli and Maxie all over again. You know, from General Hospital years ago? Willing To Say Anything to not be me.

Tuesday, September 1, 2020

Gospel 062 ~Willing To Say Anything~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which could make me a Republican or at least a fan. No, never, as the song goes, I’ll Be (the greatest fan of your life.) Yes, I know it’s getting kind of late, and I can’t say I’m an expert at pillow talk or speech period. One more reason I’m a writer and this. I write to test out everything I want to say and to learn what I shouldn’t. Being your man and all, I know plenty of things a woman says when she’s annoyed. There are things a man shouldn’t forget. Then there’s these.

When you say nothing at all. Damn, I want to tell you everything, but I’m still afraid of how it will look. If I say nothing, then I know I can’t screw anything up, and I never mastered that courtly love concept. If you say nothing, then you’re like all the rest in my life. Obsessed with that idea, right? Baby girl, I believe love is a chemical, a drug, an obsession. You’ve seen all these people breaking up during the plague era who can’t stand to be around each other for ten minutes. I said I would share my life, and I mean it. My soul is in my writing. Do you know what it’s like to have it be seen and tossed aside like so much garbage? That’s why it takes forever for me to let you see it. I want you to be better, I want you to say something, please anything.

I tell you I love you, and you know that the phrase is used far too often. Hell, I shared one of my first books with a woman, and that scared her off quick. Such was her vanity, or so I believe. I don’t mean to complain, but how am I going to get to sleep tonight. Well, besides doing that, ha. Again the things I want to say to you, My Love or more to the point, do to you. It still surprises me that you haven’t left. There’s this movie I saw once. It’s about an artist who got married but lost his spark because his wife didn’t understand him or his work. Slaves To Passion, I guess. If I could tell you everything though… Stay With Me.

Let My Baby Stay, I pray. Willing To Say Anything.

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 057 ~A Class In Will~

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The power of a plaid skirt, plain white kneesocks, pigtails, and I could go on, but for now, I’ll say I’m having a better day, “researching,” um yeah. Hell, if they gave a class called adult entertainment, I would have had all A’s. “A Class In Will.”

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Gospel 057 ~A Class In Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I can hire the best doctors. Yet all I need is some “Sexual Healing” at the moment. To be honest, I’ve reached that point in NO FAP, where I want to offer MILF Dos $500. I’ve also been looking at pictures of Cherry again. Anything to take my mind off of reality these days. Fuck Dirty Diana, what was I doing at seventeen… um, don’t answer that. The point is I never killed anybody, only I’m still considered the bad guy, never a “bad boy,” sometimes a Bad Man. An idea, School Glaze.

That’s what I wanted to name our talk today, but I showed “class?” Not in the least, but I am still so afraid. Yeah, and I want to be a pornographer. It doesn’t work if you don’t have a shit ton of money. Okay, that’s a lie, but let’s talk about happy things, like schoolgirls.

“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” Wooderson: Matthew McConaughey, Dazed and Confused (1993)

Last week I talked about some of my favorite black schoolgirls, and yes, I’m repeating myself. Lacey Duvalle “How Convenient…,” Jenna Foxx “My Sister’s Hot Friend.” Cassidy Banks, “Teachers Assistant Gets Fucked.” Now I didn’t know Jenna Foxx actually did schoolgirl. Until I found “Teens Gone Wild” RealityJunkies, I Don’t Believe You Scene 1. Dirty Diana, this goes to show two things. One, if you want my full concentration, it better involve Yabbos. Two, a great compliment is caring enough to see them once more.

Hell, isn’t that how I lost MILF Tres? I cared enough to reveal my soul and what… she thought I was in love with her? We’re on ten girls Dirty Diana and how many of them did I say, I Love You? Only two, the first two The D and Sweetness. That’s like 20%, right?

“I stopped chasing every chick under the sun many moons ago
so pretend my dick is a balloon and blow
cause you better put a fork in it if you think I’mma lay here just spooning yo
oh you think you the shit ’cause I just said you were beautiful” Eminem, Echo Bad Meets Evil

Before I get all mean and nasty AHEM, how about wanting to fuck Parvin and Zoi “Testing It All.” What about Dakota Skye “Come To My Room” and Little Val. I swear there is something about these petite girls. Did I ever tell you about the time I figured Little Lupe would get me arrested?

Since I’m no longer talking about schoolgirls, what about Momokun and Tifa Lockhart. I still imagine Momokun’s Yabbos are Cherry’s. She wants guys to think of her as a young schoolgirl and her Mum wow.

So yeah class, did you learn… A Class In Will.

I Will Have No Fear