Tag: Man In The Mirror

Lesson 176 ~My Turn To Fly~

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Christmas Eve and I suppose Santa is out doing his thing… what I don’t believe in Santa, how can I when I don’t hold out any hope for myself, my faith is all shot to hell when every day is the same but tonight… My Turn To Fly

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Lesson 176 ~My Turn To Fly~

To Will:
No Fear but it wasn’t worth, the events of this week and so whatever can I give to you as a gift, I already told one friend I’m sort of horrible and this whole gift-giving thing, especially this year. Unfortunately, that cross is yours to bear, so be ready this week, it’s your turn to fly, and hopefully, you won’t fall flat on your face as I did.

I mean you’re not Santa, you don’t have the luxury of operating from the shadows or maybe this week sure, but there is still work to put in. You won’t have Christmas magic to fall back on, you’ll have actually to give a shit, and that can be freaking exhausting, caring about others, friends, Facebook, even the assholes. Speaking of which I hope you won’t be as sick, hell Santa Claus has 364 days to be ill can you imagine if he were queasy tonight?

Don’t they say that some heroes don’t wear capes but what exactly makes Santa a hero, the fact that he gives all he has how about the truth that of his immortality, invincibility, or both? Maybe the ability for even one night to rule the world, it could be the ability that he has in a way usurped a god, indeed several different deities. Most men think they’re God; this one just happens to be right though it’s death to acknowledge that sort of thing isn’t it, as the song goes, no one man should have all that power right.

So am I jealous of Santa… you’re damn right I am, and so I won’t tell you to be him, though you must keep in mind, what you give, your writing, and the faith you have if not in God and not in yourself in what? Maybe that should be your goal this week; you didn’t believe that 5-hour Energy would allow you to forgo a nap and yet here we are, baby steps but there isn’t time even now.

Honestly, you should be flying by now, if not for you, for others, okay see that’s too far, have faith that you will survive tomorrow, that you won’t get fired, that you can be a better man. Santa is the man, and he only works one night out of the year, how’s that for social anxiety, My Turn To Fly.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

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Is it hot in here, or is it just me, turned on, angry, spending in time in Hell but I do know there is a Heaven out there somewhere, and I only need one more glimpse of such a place, just one. Picturing Hell Over Heaven.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Lesson 169 ~Picturing Hell Over Heaven~

To Will:
No Fear, you know who the monsters are, you’ve seen their faces, heard their words, they echo in your mind, and Hell is a mighty big place. I can see why you would want to stick around and as much as I want to sound like some televangelist, in honor of Carl Grimes R.I.P. Just Survive Somehow Will.

It’s so much simpler isn’t it, it’s getting to the point where it’s not the worst thing that frightens you but the best because at least for now, this moment you know you can survive. Who am I to tell you to picture a brighter tomorrow, the point is just to make it there and then the next day, and the day after and that is an achievement and I’m proud of you. Then how about our wants, we still live by the four I’s, Impossible, Immoral, Illegal, Insane because there is nothing that falls outside of those categories but that will be your goal this week, ask what if.

Usually, I want to tell you to be a good man, a better man than me and again you already are, you’ve resisted temptation, you’ve survived the most extended hours this week, and you’re not making life harder for yourself, no that’s my job. I’m sure I’ve told you not to look back but here’s the thing, just because we see Hell doesn’t mean we haven’t seen Heaven, we might not remember it and hoping for anything at this point sucks. I want you to imagine just for an instant, you walk into stores all the time and see happy couples, you pretend that you don’t hear the whispers, hell as if people bother to whisper. Even today you bought hot chocolate and since you don’t drink alcohol, isn’t that a return to such innocence?

Will I ask so much of you and I have yet to find that one real accomplishment that may become a good habit, I mean other than breathing and that’s becoming more difficult I know it. This week I just want a creature comfort, something good that you can claim, a want satisfied that won’t land you smack dab in Hell and requires more prep than a bit of ice cream or a Rice Krispy treat, pretty easy you think?

If you found yourself in Heaven not Hell what would it be what if we’re not Picturing Hell Over Heaven?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 162 ~Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem~

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Whatever doesn’t kill you is likely to try again, and it will face someone far stronger, smarter, and sinful; today I should be having fun, trying to take over the world, you know whatever comes up. Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem from now on I hope.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Lesson 162 ~Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem~

To Will:
No Fear because that is something we are giving to tomorrow, it’s like I was telling our dear Lady Lu, if there is no tomorrow then why not put everything there and enjoy today. Look you’re already up, with book review ready; should have been done yesterday, you see, pain, problems, and the past must find their way to tomorrow and if you see it just keep passing it on, is that healthy?

Well, you have as Rick Grimes put it stuff and things to do, why not make that goal, find what you want to do rather than what you half to do because we know that tomorrow is going to suck. Hell, today might be awful but if we are going back to the five minutes before the world ends scenario why not make it a good five minutes, I know you can go much longer than that my friend. It’s now about three weeks and other than the pain yesterday that had you laid up, you’re not doing that again because that’s tomorrow’s mistake waiting.

From now instead of running from yesterday and even today, let everything that scares you, hurts you, tries to kill you be waiting and today you just have to get stronger, be better prepared, let yourself enjoy. I know despite all that you’re worried about The Walking Dead, but that should be the worst of it because tomorrow is coming regardless and it will still be ahead of you, fear should be running. For now, you’re not in any real pain, you’re getting shit done, you’re learning, and while terror perhaps will always be your greatest enemy the fact that you’re up and about healthy is a reason to be grateful remember that, being thankful.

I don’t mean to get religious on you or anything but remember how you felt last night, how old you are how much time you’ve wasted, hell did you have a bit of backbone with the manager. If you’re standing, if you’re breathing, fight, and let the pain and blood be there tomorrow as a testament to that, I can’t seem to stress that enough.

Today you write, work on a character, get those reviews up, take a shower, you know you need it and let the pain go, let it run smackdab into tomorrow because Pain Is Tomorrow’s Problem.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

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Burning the house down, making myself sick, and looking at the novel I just wrote, so many enemies or is it just me, I mean hello, is seven different personality or idea posts enough and truthfully one more about me. So What’s Your Beef

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Lesson 155 ~So What’s Your Beef~

To Will:
No Fear, I mean don’t have a cow man, so you finished one journey, and now you don’t know what to do with yourself, so in theory, it’s just another day. It wasn’t last week, but this week perhaps you took the challenge of no more chicken in your diet; ok, there is still some in the fridge, but that wasn’t by your hand, thank goodness for mothers.

Why don’t we define a goal, as I have stated on numerous occasions, both to “Indiana Gone,” and “Okay” it seems that everything you or I might want is impossible, immoral, illegal, and insane. I can’t tell you something like maybe you should lay off choking the chicken… two weeks in, no wonder you feel so penned up, and on the other side of the coin, you’re falling back into your laziness. Sure you just accomplished something major, you wrote a damn book and as with previous titles you’re giving into depression about what happens next again, “Some Assembly Required”?

As much as you may beef with the future and the end of the day, you must admit that you still have no idea what’s going to happen, despite experience. Maybe that’s what you should do, fight the real enemy as somewhat famous once said and that enemy lies right in front of you. Another way of saying I hate myself and other people, but having these three enemies, past, present, and future is no way to victory, and you should be basking in it.

So should I tell you what you’re going to do tomorrow, am I a psychic, the government, a dream interpreter as a manager at work thought I was… the future is always there but what about today? You wrote 50,000 words in the month that is worst for a retail employee so today let’s do something where you’ll see results.

Today your goal is to go and beat your meat; no, I don’t mean with that English tart you’ve been fantasizing about, more the Wal-Mart variety because don’t you miss having tacos? If you’re so scared about the man you will face tomorrow, why not strengthen the man you are today; Am I sure there is a rule in there someplace possibly? If you should die well then, you get your enemy one way or the other, and don’t go on WebMD, too late already, *sigh* honestly Will, So What’s Your Beef.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 148 ~Feel Like Chicken Tonight~

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Better to be a live chicken than a dead duck but so far I have declared a full-scale war on the chicken population considering the menu, so I’m not sure that’s in my best interest. Feel Like Chicken Tonight, hope not honestly

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Lesson 148 ~Feel Like Chicken Tonight~

To Will:
No Fear, that’s right you shouldn’t feel like a chicken, and on a more personal note maybe you should stop eating it; yes, I know NaNoWriMo is kicking your ass, but maybe a change in diet would help. Is that me giving you practical advice, I suppose most of my creativity has been shot to Hell, especially today, and you know something, you should still be writing now.

Let me just tell you, man, I am so damn proud of you, pecking away at the keys instead of beating your… yeah, that is part of the reason you still have so much writing to do but the fact that you have been keeping up and going above and beyond. Make this a feather in your cap, and nobody else is going to tell you, maybe “Indiana Gone,” but you still have 9,900 words to go. Think about your work before you start thinking about the wide array of legs, breasts, and thighs you could be getting; okay, I’ll stop with all the chicken references, and what was it I just said about changing up your diet, the life of a starving artist, noted.

It’s not like you proved yourself to be much of a boss at work, I know what you’re thinking, what happened to the upbeat positivity. You pay me to be honest, okay you don’t pay me at all which is why I’m sure you’re worried about a paycheck as much about people at work. That is why it’s crucial that you finish strong this week, you have four more days and then what, yeah five minutes into the future still sounds plenty good to me. If you want your goal, that’s what it is, finish the damn book Will, it’s stupid, it’s ugly, it sucks, but finish it, got that.

I know a lot of this sounds like more Lady’s Sophia’s wheelhouse, but when it comes to you, I want you to remember that feeling you felt for a few hours yesterday like you couldn’t be touched, and tomorrow isn’t going to be so bad. Okay a lie, tomorrow won’t be as bad as yesterday, and that should bring a smile to your face right, and I don’t think chickens can smile, already doomed to their lot in life but you aren’t, so please friend don’t Feel Like Chicken Tonight.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 141 ~Relapse, I’m The Man~

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40 Days and 40 Nights yeah right but I know it’s not impossible, 41 maybe but let’s just focus surviving this new week, because it’s going to be a doozy. Relapse, I’m The Man, or I truly want to be, I want to get better, I need to

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Lesson 141 ~Relapse, I’m The Man~

To Will:
No Fear, that will come later, as will everything else and I know it is hard it is damn hard to find anything to take solace in, to be proud of and I know I’m not and I can’t ask you to be. If anything though I ask you to simply acknowledge that you are still here for a chance… hmm, could that be the secret of life?

Bane: Now’s not the time for fear. That comes later. ― The Dark Knight Rises

See Christians fuck up but because they are saved it doesn’t matter to them and you fuck up tons but you don’t have that safety net and while death is not in the cards for now, and crucifixion is an ugly way to go, the fact is you don’t need to be saved this minute. Don’t people in rehab talk about taking it one day at a time, maybe that’s all this place is, just one big rehab so that my soul is ready, yeah you’ll have to excuse me for the religious connotations. Every day is a lesson, I tend to repeat myself because I am the one voice that you need to hear, now isn’t that something but before you laugh, just imagine about what is going on this week, the task that now stands before you waiting.

King Ezekiel: We have come this far. Our first victory will allow our second. The second will deliver our third. ― from The Walking Dead

I was talking to Lady Lu the other day and I said the point was to endure, I have also recognized that I just don’t want to survive, and then there is hope, which must be admired for being so hard to kill, just like us. What was it that kept you going last night to the early morning, and for once I am honestly not trying to be dirty, talk about how many times we have relapsed on that front. I even think about that saying of today is the first day of the rest of your life, annoying if nothing else but is this not what we do, start over again and again.

“It’s the end of the world. Did you think it would be easy? I don’t expect you to win. I don’t even expect you to live. Only endure.” Teen Titans

Should I give you a goal or tell you what I know you must do because you will get your chance, not this week, no this week you will do as you have always done and when you see the other side, well that will be a conversation for another. If you must have a goal though if you fall short if you don’t make the grade… okay that might be enough YouTube for today but if and when you find you can’t make it just say to yourself the truth, Relapse, I’m The Man

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 134 ~Can You Count, Suckers~

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Should I count on you or should I look as if you owe me, owe the future wife, perhaps the man I want to be, the somebody I believe will actually care about my novel only 12,700 of 50,000 *sigh*. Can You Count, Suckers, because I really don’t want to.

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Lesson 134 ~Can You Count, Suckers~

To Will:
No Fear, even though that sounded kind of dirty, but let’s focus on some accomplishments such as the fact that you actually have the entire, “Sick Fux” playlist on your phone. Already it’s going to be one of those days but you’re fifteen days into you know what and I know it’s only getting harder, really damn literally.

Think about your book today, didn’t I say be positive but you’re still so far behind but you only need 2,164 words per day to finish on time. You have now 120,000 words just collecting dust so making it to 50,000 words in a month shouldn’t be any big deal… yeah, I don’t buy that myself, using the words I believe in you and such. If anything you’re a realist and you know time is your enemy because sooner or later, everything is just going to come crashing down and I don’t want you thinking exit strategy anytime soon Will.

I know it sucks knowing that other people need you, what about the dog, and letting yourself down always hurts, though we can’t figure out why yet. No scratch that, you talk about being made into a monster but sometimes you are your own victim, case and point all of our conversations right? How about the people you haven’t even met, you should probably make a list of everyone who is going to owe you a favor but then again everyone isn’t you, how grateful are you for that tidbit?

Counting up would be “Hoes” while fun does not add to your final word total as of yet; counting money as well is just depressing, it’s like you’ve taken a trip back to Math class, English is hard too, and Sex-Ed class… off the table. There is only you and your writing, nothing more and nothing less because I’m counting on you, just as next week you’ll be counting on whoever you’ve become by then.

Hopefully, he’ll be a few words richer, a week’s worth stronger, possibly finishing reading another novel, feels like Mt. Everest and what is the payoff other than saying you were able to pull it off. I should have gotten this out of my system with Dirty Diana and Lady Sophia but I’m counting on you, time to be the man.

Way past time is always the lesson but if you really want to get up off your ass well ask yourself Can You Count, Suckers?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 127 ~So Many Locked Doors~

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Don’t get locked into a routine, don’t make the place where you lay your head a prison, keys can lock and they can also open, and your head is not usually one of the nicer places to visit. So Many Locked Doors but what am I keeping in?

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Lesson 127 ~So Many Locked Doors~

To Will:
No Fear but the question, to open or not to open, that is the question, now you’re not Shakespeare but all the football talk… a plague on both their houses am I right, that’s something that is never going away, no matter the man I was, am, or dare I dream to become. Already you smile, that’s good, you remember “Holly Little” from “Starship Troopers 3: Marauder” would you really trade in all your principles for a hot piece of tail, just saying.

“A plague o’ both your houses!” ― Romeo & Juliet

“Your levity is good, it relieves tension and the fear of death.” ― Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

You’re a better man than that or at least you’re trying to be, I always want you to be and do you realize what today is? Talk about being no Shakespeare, writing those poems for “Senseless” may you never feel such fear again because, at the end of the day, you need the money and no girl is worth it. Nice to be harsh about something else and not you but as for today’s lesson there are just things I can’t lock the door and throw away the key and then there are those times I just feel locked in.

Congratulations though as you have broken through your writer’s block at present, I expect to see great things in your writing despite the work schedule you’ve been cursed with. You’ve also kept something else locked in your pants, ain’t that something when you impose a hundred-word tax on a hard-on and if that also counted for a chub… You are also becoming freer, which you’ll need to bare your soul soon enough if you remember what happened this day before.

“Any place you don’t leave is a prison.” Liberal Arts

How about the idea, that you were actually considering leaving these four walls and going somewhere else to work, how about Starbucks, Books-A-Million, and lucky you the library closest is getting worked on but you need to check. You remember what they say about any place you don’t leave but I know too there is a difference between being alone and being lonely, remember that.

Plenty of stuff to remember so no wonder the writer’s block was so hard to break out of and now you are going to condemn your characters to Hell. Always remember that you can’t cut life on and off, even if you’re holding the keys, ride or get rolled on, I’m sure your fists and head will appreciate not hitting walls and locked doors but still, So Many Locked Doors.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 120 ~Open Up, Say Ahh~

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The good news is I didn’t have to do much talking today but then again seeing as how people talk to signify their own lives I wonder how much longer I’ll last, maybe I should go see a doctor or not. Open Up, Say Ahh

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Lesson 120 ~Open Up, Say Ahh~

To Will:
No Fear, open up, say ahh when you have no choice but to figure things out for yourself, “Adulting” is hard and only getting harder and there’ll be days when you have to ask some older adults but for today appreciate the win. Also don’t be so quick to jump to the worse possible outcome, it keeps you alive but the anxiety only gets worse; easier said than done but don’t play WebMD whenever you can avoid it.

Open up, say ahh, to new experiences, today wasn’t much of one but how long did you listen to the “Sick Fux” playlist, if only every day you could feel like you did when “ My Boy Lollipop” was playing, something for the future wife to sing? Speaking of new experiences, when are you going to start going out again, it would be something if you were actually working but since you’re not… It can also be said since you’re not going to the doctor anytime soon, open up, say would be better served in some bedroom play perhaps ha?

Now, what was it I said about imaging the worst case scenario, which might actually be something if you weren’t enjoying being kept away from the group, working by yourself, and it makes it much easier not to be a caveman when there is nobody to talk to. Open, up, say ahh when you actually do learn something new, how often do you find yourself having the same, comfortable conversation but really what else is there with some people ad the dog? Yes, sometimes it actually is better that you keep your mouth shut during certain occasions because soon you’ll have to talk just because.

No, I don’t mean Halloween, I can’t tell you how you’re going to feel come that day and if anything you might be afraid for all the wrong reasons. One more day out of the year but today was too damn easy considering what I expected and when work gets easy, beware is the rule of thumb or has been.

I don’t know whether to tell you to be a better man, just a man, or just to stay alive but every day you should always strive to be better but not all at once, you might look in the mirror one day and not recognize the man you are, all Open Up, Say Ahh.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 113 ~Hungry Like the Wolf~

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When you’re hungry, thirsty, a certain sort of frustrated, where do you draw the line; I’m not saying eat people but when you want to survive that’s when you realize there is no limit. Hungry Like The Wolf… so about being a better man?

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Lesson 113 ~Hungry Like the Wolf~

To Will:
No Fear, though should we rack up your wins and losses or should we stick to the just surviving, in any case, we don’t want to die so that’s the good news. You know I’m always hoping for what’s best for you and today you have made strides in that direction but don’t fear, at least we didn’t know before but that thought truly shouldn’t be a comfort.

If anything this is a lesson in tenacity or necessity is the mother of invention, how about the idea of what it means to be wanted, you should be reminded of those days back in school from god knows when to… hell, you’re not in school anymore but you are still everyone’s go-to punchline. People are never satisfied, you know this well, there is even a rule “Satisfaction, The Death of Desire” and once we no longer desire, hunger, thirst, love, sex and anything else, we become complacent but what is wrong with that? The world isn’t built for that and neither are men, if anything we create rules, we write laws and like the Republicans are always talking about, no law will stop the bad guys but we need stronger ones, besides my liking of a ton of firepower.

Look at it this way, how does your immune system get stronger, you have to get sick and fight off the virus, here’s a good one, how do you go out and get a woman… stop watching porn, suffer, feel that want, need, and desire, and transform it into courage, as today’s lesson dictates, be hungry like the wolf, never knowing where the next meal is coming from he goes out searching. How about this, a scar shows proof that you were stronger than whatever hurt you, that you are a survivor. Now that is something you must always remember, with everything that has gone on, everything that hurts you, everything that scares you, put one foot in front of the other “Just Survive Somehow”.

Speaking of which “The Walking Dead” is something to look forward to, how about a visit from “Gospel Girl”, or the moment my email stops going off about the blog, I swear the things you didn’t know. Only what you do know, what you have learned today is the following, the “thirst” has been kicking your ass, never let desire die, it’s the fire inside you, Hungry Like the Wolf.

I Will Have No Fear