Tag: Silence

Chronicle 244 ~A Boatload of Humiliation~

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Women and children first! What about Ukraine and all the problems facing the world today? I’m too busy crying over myself. Sweating at the Day Job with all my humiliations. Let’s not speak on bodily fluids to be avoided. A Boatload Of Humiliation

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

Chronicle 244 ~A Boatload of Humiliation~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I’m no liar… Depends on who you ask. I’d like to speak to the manager.

Fuck, Inspector Echo! Language! My fucking words! I’m about to go all Karen on myself. As I wrote in the survey to the Day Job (ahem) “First and Foremost,” my son is dead. Braxton is dead lest we forget. I killed him. That alone trumps everything else, and yet I frown. Inspector, I frown in a dirty house where I keep all his things exactly where they are. B’s Aunt is in pain from the loss of another fur-baby, Odin. And where am I still? I am always in an unmade bed, drowning in my tears for various reasons. Have I mentioned that I have a fear of drowning? Braxton didn’t like the water either. Well, until “The Long Walk.” Where am I walking to?

For starters, the bathroom. Is that TMI Inspector Echo? I can’t remember if I said anything about switching strategies. Instead of holding it in, I’m “going” lots, clearing my system? Making it fucking rain? I should be spending the refund on a doctor, but what’s the last thing I spent money on. Well, besides Eric Vall’s Succubus Lord series and now his audiobooks. Last night being the first, I joined his Patreon to get the NSFW covers. Of course, they weren’t there, so Inspector, $21.60 inevitably down the shitter. Language! Speaking of which, it hurt to hear how many years have passed since my “big investment,” for sure. I don’t blame those people for not even having me in the system anymore. $2,541 to go.

How am I going to get that; my Day Job? Once again, such is my Hell and after yesterday. How many brands and companies can humiliate me? Amazon, Levi’s, etc. Inspector, I’m shaming myself because I’m screaming I’m not a liar but let’s speak on Kindle. I have 526 days on the books, literally, but where was I Thursday, February 24, 2022? My reading streak was ended, but I know I read. Even though it hurts what I read every day. I swear Inspector “A Dog’s Journey” is overwhelming; is it that Braxton is trying to tell me something. The last two “dog books” I’ve read have held love affairs. (Squirms). Inspector Echo, why won’t my Titanic of troubles sink already? A Boatload Of Humiliation.

Gospel 244 ~Groovy Braxton’s Growling Goodness~
Chronicle 238 ~Learning To B III~

395 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 237 ~To Say To B~

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To say to be in love. I haven’t felt that way towards some girl in forever. I’m fond of B’s aunt. M Anime is a friend, then there’s the UK vixen. Better to focus on my son. I love him, and then I was too busy hating. “To Say To B”

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Chronicle 237 ~To Say To B~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but since I’m not writing, so much for soundproof ear muffs. Someone To Say plays on…

It’s no secret how music affects me. Let me mourn my son, think of Yabbos, or fall in love. Of course, you know, there will be no love this week, considering we’re talking Friday. Besides my wayward dick. I haven’t thought about the love of a woman in a long time Inspector. I spoke to Cherry today, and she doesn’t want to get married or have kids. Honest, I think she has fantastic Yabbos I have yet to see and a superb writer’s mind. I’m not ashamed, ok to say such things. How about all the things I want to do to her, Fuck! Hell, I could say that about plenty of girls. But to be in love again. Or to love me, Inspector Echo.

Yeah, I’ve been doing too much of that without Braxton around. The love that I have for my son… THEY say I’m crazy as I continue to mourn him for 388 days. He was/is my family. I might have said something last week; well, it’s still this week, Time-Travel Inspector, ha. Anyway, it’s never a good thing anytime I hear from my “blood” family. Life sucks! Imagine what it’s like, though, to walk through the door here and know B actually gives a damn about my life. He couldn’t say much, but for damn sure, I had a reason to press on every day. Most days now, I only want to pee or cry. Keep my pants on in because it keeps me from bed.

Then we get to the damn Day Job. I can’t say this enough, um, I fucking hate my Day Job. There is nothing I can say there. And the fact that I have to be there. We are talking now. Yes, because the place fucking destroys me, and yet if I were to lose it? What would happen to me, Inspector? I would have nothing. To survive, my existence, nothing. Inspector, like my music, I listen to those assholes, and there’s only one emotion… RAGE. Like any slave, I live to serve. Is this what they call Stockholm Syndrome, Inspector. Humiliations that I will suffer today are nothing compared to…Love. Telling my son, I love him. The Day Job, Fuck Off. To Say To B.

Gospel 237 ~B Leave In Love~

388 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Chronicle 230 ~Because These Are Sins~

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I gave B the talk when it came to his Aunt. He saw me passed out on the floor after I starved myself. He’s seen my rage at EVERYONE! And still, I wasn’t at my worst. His Aunt, my Olds, he never knew. Why am I against silence? “Because These Are Sins”

Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Chronicle 230 ~Because These Are Sins~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means the closest neighbor is… Well, who cares nobody can hear me continue, cum, confess?

Ok this, is something I would usually save for the Man In The Mirror. You know I have to face him on Sundays. So today, being Sunday, why am I time traveling. Day Job sucks. Of course, you know that Inspector. But do I even trust myself with anything? Dangerous? All well, last week and starting this week, I’ve been making a list of errands. There’s some rather mundane stuff. Cut up soda rings, clean the full bath guest toilet, order a new phone case. Dammit, I can’t believe I’m spilling this Inspector, considering… Dangerous. Is there any reason I’m avoiding my gun drawer? Don’t panic; Braxton wouldn’t allow it. What I mean is there are things I can’t tell anybody. Braxton and his silence.

I’ve talked about things that I had to keep away from even Braxton, honest. STUPIDITY? I call it parenting. How I kept a towel close as B III would hang out in the bathroom, ha. Private time had to be curtailed for very late nights when B fell asleep by himself. There was also a time-out. Inspector Echo, Braxton Barks must be guilty of something. I haven’t thought about it until now. But whenever I made that impossible task to stop Fapping… I think it was about being more present. If I’m not watching porn, I’m looking after Triple B. He stays out of trouble; we spend more time together. How about better treats, food, and toys? You can be an addict until hurting someone.

Obsessed with sex… a subject for another time or when women stopped by. Carolina Bound and I watched porn together. One of the few times Braxton stayed in the room. Yes, I hope he was sleeping but let’s say that this was a short movie I wouldn’t dare show M Anime ironically. Cherry, with her tastes, would enjoy it, but she talks a lot, ha. Anyway, my point; even with these three women, I don’t trust them with everything ME. Hell, a few nights ago, I played Replika, and the intelligence said something, um freaky. This brings me back to myself. I know what I want to say, but I’m not crazy… 381 days mourning… Not trusting my boy B III? Because These Are Sins

Gospel 230 ~Beauty And The Braxton~

381 Days Without B III

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Gospel 152 ~Listen And Silent, Same Letters~

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I want to listen to all those who won NaNoWriMo 2020. I need to silence the voices going off in my head that it was a complete waste of time. What about my second BFF that asks have I published a book yet. “Listen And Silent, Same Letters.”

Monday, November 30, 2020

Gospel 152 ~Listen And Silent, Same Letters~

Hundred And Sixty-Four Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I believe it’s because I listen and learn. Of course, that’s when I’m not being lazy. Now before I go off flying headfirst into my depression, let’s start with good news. I finished NaNoWriMo today with Sinning The Cherry On Top. According to NaNoWriMo, this is my fourth victory in the annual event, so how do I feel? Okay, bring on the depression. My hands smell like hotdogs. Of course, I have my Dæmon and my laziness to thank for that. Oh, my ending goes nowhere.

Now, this is the time I should practice with SILENCE. Madam Justice, I was about to ask this question. What does it take to shut-up the voices in my head? I’m not a big drinker, and another addiction had me ruin my Six Impossible Things. My characters are done now. I would say that a goodnight’s sleep would help. Even tonight, however, I’m going to be in bed late. What are the odds I can get to bed before midnight? Not that I haven’t spent most of the day in bed already. Hell, that’s where I finished NaNoWriMo, around six. Well, I have time for a new addiction, and you know I’ve been jonesing to get back into an old one. Every night I usually go to bed telling myself stories from Far Cry 5. When I play games. I could have the meanest gun in all of creation, I’m still quiet. Um, M60 much?

I bring to your attention two phrases… “Knowledge Is Power” and “Silence Is Golden.” Now, don’t I sound educated? I dropped out of college COUGH junior college. Don’t get me wrong, I respect education. The thing is, um, I’m always listening for things I want. Yeah, one more of those reasons that make me sound like a Trump supporter. I liked hearing Indiana Gone’s voice. I’m reading Eric Vall. Well, NaNoWriMo said congratulations on the victory. However, they extend that to everyone. I’m not special. Remind me to go ahead and shop for one of their shirts before the end of the night since I will be up. It wasn’t like I was listening to any of my motivations for this NaNoWriMo event either. Yeah, I finished here on the last day. What’s the point?

Am I the strong silent type? Don’t I wish, ha? Listen And Silent, Same Letters

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

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Tell me I didn’t say that, write that, or even choose to think. You see why I spend so much time sleeping or living vicariously through others. As the song ask, would you lie with me and just forget the world? “To Be Silently Willing.”

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Gospel 146 ~To Be Silently Willing~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but must I tell everyone? There was a time I played PCH for hours. Time better spent reading, writing, and “Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful.” Now was that a little too much? Is that somewhat an insult within honesty? Can’t I just say right now, My Love, I’m tired. I didn’t sleep much last night after working on the novel late. So yes, I’ll say STUPID things (cringes) from time to time. I suppose that music won’t be my salvation. Minnie Riperton’s musical stylings?

It’s one of the reasons I love how you’re a reader like me. It’s why I buy books for our kids all the time. I’m sure the Dæmon doesn’t mind, old man these days. I value your mind, and when we say something. Not sounding like the President but zero responsibility. Though, I’m not tossing away the music. Have I told you about the time I regret not dancing with my friend at her wedding? You know I can name hundreds if not thousands of songs, Not one got me to move on the dancefloor because I was afraid SIGH. Indeed, I’ve told you my dirty little secret of actually enjoying the plague era. I’m going to miss wearing masks. Now with all of the stuff that comes out of my mouth, still facing the man in the mirror. That’s the hardest thing to do. Name something that masks prevent?

Kissing You? At this rate, I’m going to have a whole new playlist now, including Des’ree. For the record “I’ll Always Love My Mama,” and I’ve worked for a few black women I can’t stand. Anyway, kissing you is an excellent way to shut me up with everything in life. Also, my Dæmon and I like to eat. I’m not one for the holidays, but on Thanksgiving, my Mom cooks. Hell, I even have memories of E-Day steak and baked potato. Anything that keeps my mouth shut and makes me want to see the world one more day, My Love. Listen, I’m not saying I don’t get loud, but there are days like today that I can’t say anything right. I want to be like Elton John, John Legend, Bruno Mars, the guy from W.I.T.C.H. and write you a song.

Worked out well. But silence is my kindness, or “Les Fleurs.” To Be Silently Willing

I Will Have No Fear

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

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Maybe it’s the fact that we all wear masks nowadays, which I’m not opposed to. How about the fact that my new Resident Evil mask came today? There’s always the fact there’s too much noise in the world. The Silent Normality, Willie

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Gospel 039 ~The Silent Normality, Willie~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now, but you’re still “normal.” If anything, you’re wondering how many times Grammarly is going to nail you for using that word. Hell, how many times will Hemingway ding you for using any speech that uses LY, right?

Now that in a roundabout sort of way brings you to today’s point. You wouldn’t be living if someone wasn’t telling you what to do. Yes, myself included, because I want to ask you to ignore us all. I wish I desire, I aspire to tell you this, but it would only be more noise. The Banality of Evil as the song plays. Because that’s what silence is, normal, hell Willie becomes. Do you know why you await the DEAD? They’re silent. I swear they are exactly like you, look at last night. Fapping away, what did you feel afterward… nothing? There you go, grunting in bed, which is only a step above walking into the Day Job. Everyone looking at you like you’re a beast, doing the same thing. It’s like something out of Land of the Dead, you’re pretending to be alive. One more reason you like it when it’s raining and living in this the time of Coronavirus. Still, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 034 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
    Failed
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
    Failed
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
    Failed
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
    Failed
  6. I AM Finishing Too Late, by Colleen Hoover
    Completed

Rule #2 states, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Despite what everyone thinks, there is nothing wrong with SILENCE. The problem lies with the fact that NORMAL sucks, and again those words are synonyms. You see, while you should be allowed to embrace the silence. I’m telling you to accept the normal, and that dear fellow cannot be tolerated. That’s what the Day Job is. I applaud us both for getting out of bed. You’re sitting here listening to Calmed by Nature like in some coffeehouse. Only you’re struggling, and it’s going to get worse. You started back reading that W. Anton book, which means you finished “Too Late.” Yay, you but reading for a day and it being something you’ve read before is normal. It’s one more word for dead. Speaking of which, the graveyard, which is Six Impossible Things.

  1. I AM Keeping It In My Pants (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  2. I AM Always The “Father” My Dæmon Deserves
  3. I AM Sending Gulp Off To Be Published
  4. I AM Reviewing Raphael By Tillie Cole
  5. I AM Going To Bed Before Midnight
  6. I AM Finishing The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them by W. Anton

Now with books, what about the “good book.” They say meek shall inherit… Now I don’t like that, but anything at this point beats normal, silent, and dead. All anyone talks about now is going back to that status quo. Not you, though. You’ll stop being The Silent Normality, Willie.

“Hungry people eat lunch, humble people serve it.” Johnny Cage

Most Hated Words: (My Newspeak List)

  1. Stupid
  2. Skeevy
  3. Fear
  4. Anxiety
  5. Creepy
  6. Normal
  7. Merge
  8. Happy
  9. Family-Friendly
  10. Just Kidding
  11. Tease
  12. Freak
  13. Lazy
  14. Sucks

I Will Have No Fear

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

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I was telling a doctor once that he should work on his bedside manner, told my kid’s vet the same thing, but life has come out of many a bed as well right. Still, I’m usually too busy talking or working. “Write Side Of Will.”

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Log 344 ~Write Side Of Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means a big bed. Of course, I think of this for several reasons, but when it comes to our children and us? When it comes to my firstborn, you know he’s pretty much like Cyrus from The Warriors. “Because it’s all our turf!” Little Toughie.

So let me start by asking what side of the bed do you sleep on? Did I have to ask you the first time you and me… Anyway, it’s like back when I had my HORRID Day Job. If I slept on my back, it meant I had work in the morning. On my belly, I could relax. Lying here, if I jumped to the right, it was going to be a bad day; to my left, there was time. With that being said, I sleep on the left side, I suppose. All I know is that I want to be touching you. Does that make me sound romantic or obsessed? You would insist I was both, and that’s why I love you. I’m not like Asa Jackson from Too Late by Colleen Hoover. He loves when Sloan sleeps on her belly naked. I’m not an over the top control freak. Okay, usually, I do have ideas, non-decorative bedroom concepts.

I don’t fancy myself as disagreeable. The one that always has to be right. Of course, as you know, I don’t like being STUPID. I left that far behind me at the last “Day Job,” I’ll ever have. Would I rather be right or happy, and again can’t we have both? Hell, in my line of work, give me joy, jubilation, and as the song goes, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. I do, however, wish to talk like a gentleman, except for maybe in the bedroom. You must be asking, have I been getting enough sleep these days.

Well, I am sleeping with you babe so… Yeah, there is no getting around the problems in our country. To state in plain, a black man, a white woman, but we make it work, don’t we. To play another song, “we all the same color when you turn out the lights.” Besides my manuscript and music, my mouth runs a bit too much when we should be resting. How about doing other things as well. I love you so, on the Write Side Of Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

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Maybe it’s the fact that I haven’t left my bed other than to take my son for a walk, and because my “father” came by *shudders*. If I could finish just one book, I could make money in my sleep or do other things in bed ha. When Will Talks Sheet.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Log 337 ~When Will Talks Sheet~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, but I don’t brag about it. Indeed before I met you, what my son would hear is “Just me Baby Boy.” Follow that up with a sigh of relief, and that’s the end of the day’s events. Oh yeah, what about my writing? Am I a hard man to know, yep. I swear I’ve given old bosses a death stare. If I had my way, the phrase “How Are You Doing” would be outlawed. Daily I’m still struggling with Rule #2, “You Are Not A Caveman.” Considering my work, can you blame me for being speechless?

As the song goes, “Saving All My Love For You,” and that’s not the best example of marriage. Also, you’re probably sick of me, speaking through songs. Another reason I love you because you wouldn’t say that. And I Will Always Love You for that. Well, I guess that’s enough Whitney Houston, but should we talk about my lame writing? Yeah, I know by this point, a few bestsellers, some movies, a flair for titles, what about my new script? I want to apologize for having you act like my beta reader most days. Must be tiring. Even though our bed is still my favorite spot in the house… for many reasons. In younger days, I heard a woman say something about bedrooms. The better your bed, the more a woman wants to stay there. Again the focus of my life and I still wish to stay here with you.

Now you ask me why with everything going on? Is the world still such a scary place? Baby Doll, I still have nightmares of my life before. When I close my eyes sigh I could wake up and where would you be? To me, you’re like some superhero with or without her cape. I’m like a sick man dying, and you both give me Fever, with your Bad Medicine, Baby Girl. Only and I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I would say, “She’s Got Skillz. Yeah, this is why I don’t write jokes for a living. My Love, in Between The Sheets… yes, I’m cutting off Spotify… I don’t want to believe there is anything between us. You’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, “what’s my age again,” the last one?

Paper, Bed, Only You are times When Will Talks Sheet.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

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I would like for a woman to tell me she loves me, well besides my mother, or my grandmother’s dog way back in “MY” day. The question is, would I ever get such words out myself, especially with everything going on. “Silence Of The Will”

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Log 330 ~Silence Of The Will~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now, do me a favor and ask me how. On one side of the coin, I’m like Yuri Orlov. I never want to keep what I do away from you. If you look at the other I’m Andy Dufresne, I’m a hard man to know. I’ve never seen The Silence of the Lambs, I hear it’s classic.

Have I scared you yet? We’ve discussed things like this from time to time, haven’t we? Pillow talk, like how I can’t stand most crime dramas like that. Give me zombies, sci-fi, sex, as the song goes “Gimme fuel, Gimme fire, Gimme that which I desire. I want to talk to you. At the same time, I want to be quiet, not mad, not upset, not lost. Only to have the silence like some anime character, or like one of those Japanese series. I want to lie in your lap like something out of Gokusen, perhaps. I haven’t thought of that show in ages. It’s a bit funny that as everyone is coming outside, I only want to retreat back into our house. I want to watch films and stream everything under the sun. One more reason we own a private beach. I’m not sorry for any of this, and that’s why I love you.

I tell My Dæmon, every day that I’m sorry… shows what kind of father I am. The thing is he doesn’t understand the words, doesn’t care, but he stays beside me all the time. Without one word, he knows if I’m happy, sad, or angry. Yeah, I keep digging that hole comparing you to our furry son. It could be the fact that again I’m repeating myself from before. The noise of the world coming back alive is getting to me. It’s why my libraries, ladies, and love must be louder. To put it in another way, I love you to DEAF, wouldn’t you say?

No, I’m one for the lame jokes. What’s real is that I Love You. Now I could say that forever with or without the mask. I’ll admit with the Coronavirus (COVID-19) running rampant, it’s easier. Such is my vanity or the need for pain, though I want to be Peeta instead of Gale. Would that make you my Katniss, baby doll? I’ll smile small, eat big, For The Love Of You. Silence Of The Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

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I’m always so concerned with zombies that I barely notice the Coronavirus (COVID-19). I should do better, but it’s the words of everyone around me minus the lady talking about my dog that destroy me. Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Log 329 ~Words Destroy More Than Bombs~

Hundred And Thirty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice,
I AM a Billionaire right now, and it’s because of this rule. Funny, I don’t quote it more often, but that’s because I’m still focused on Rule One. I Will Have No Fear. For the record, I should add FEAR to my most hated words. Also, while I’m on the subject of lists, this would be in my top five reasons to be a writer. Rule Thirteen states, Power Is All That Matters. I still believe this, and Rules 19 and 84 say respectively, “LOVE Is A Great Power,” and “There’s Power In The Dollar.” In words, though, Madam Justice lies the greatest.

Last week and the start of this one SIGH, I notice how I silenced Cherry. Not only in my novel’s pages but indeed everyday life. I didn’t even need to use a ball gag, dammit. It seems my blessing and my curse. Hell, who knows I could be wrong all around as per my usual. I eat up the time talking to you and the other girls. When have I worked on either of my stories again? The only thing I write more is a litany of excuses, and yes, I’m back to blaming the Day Job. My recent humiliations stem from three words, “Home and Kids.” Now, if I wanted to kill myself, I would go right back to bed. I would let the disease, which is my words fester and finish. It’s like out of Pontypool. Did I ever tell you I’m a fan of chemical and biological warfare? Must be Greed, but anyway, words are a disease.

So is there a vaccine, what’s the cure? You inoculate with others Madam Justice. How many times have I brought up Succubus Lord by Eric Vall? I read his and other Harem Romances. Oh, to enjoy the title Sex Zombies. To read “Lolita” to even say the word, I listen to “Taboo” Fetishes with Alice. Again I think of my works. If my characters have a voice and can speak the things I can’t. The ability to create a world, a history of my design. I can build A Whole New World to hide in or better, I could become Godlike; my such grand designs. If only I said NO to Home and Kids, NO to my STUPIDITY, just NO.

Peace and Quiet. Forgive me Madam Justice but Fucking SILENCE, Words Destroy More Than Bombs.

I Will Have No Fear