Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

Not as “Hot, Hot, Hot,” as I wanted it to be, but Hell can be a confusing place as they say Hell freezes over and Dante decided to take a tour of the area, and video game Dante *sigh* what women get men into right? Go To Hell Will

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Episode 025 ~Go To Hell Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to come up with a more original title; it’s not as familiar as I like and it certainly beats “skeevy,” and I can already hear you groaning here we go but aren’t thoughts of the Bitch another level of Hell? In truth, though as I’ve said before Hell can be a cold place so why is it the way becomes lit by fire the whole path there, and then we all end up getting burned and how do we nurse ourselves again?

“Some women can’t handle the fire. Some can.” Bruce Almighty

Tonight though I don’t want to talk about being alone, instead let’s focus on all of the reasons I’m going to get burned the first being I’m quite shallow, or some would say thirsty. Okay so I’m trying to be less self-deprecating, I’m still on a motivational kick these days, and with what I usually think about myself, I Still Believe there isn’t a body issue to be had. However, admiring a woman’s body is enough to end some, and I can only call someone beautiful for so long and yes there is something to be said for subtlety but fuck me is the ultimate goal when it comes to men and women but sensitive.

Now while I ’m never that crass, I compared the Bitch to a Brazzers pornstar; let’s say I have a woman in bed and one of the first things I learned as a Dominant is you never do so out of anger, Christian Grey was mad at his mother, rage has no place. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy sex so much; think The Screwfly Solution and for the record I’ve never harmed a woman, I hit my sister but I was a child, I was fighting girls when I was in the third grade; anyway sex gets me hot and doesn’t that trump anger? I’ve even talked about this before, how I’m more inclined to cover girls up in pretty outfits or at least in silk and lace binds or their underwear and anything else I would do?

One has to wonder since the Bible does talk about sex is there some method of “making love” that is specifically designed to keep one out of Hell and don’t say marriage because even if I were happily married, I would burn for my wife. Nowadays though my heart is frozen and below the belt, a cold shower might help, but no, I let freezing memories wash over me because well Go To Hell Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

I always feel like, somebody’s watching me as the song goes and I wonder what they’re doing because I doubt it’s anything sexy and even if they loved me, would they admit to something like this? Do You Lust me?

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Episode 018 ~Do You Lust Me~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to be a sex symbol other than the entire world going blind; how I’ve found myself in the mirror plenty for a couple of days and Saturday all I can see is fear, and it’s cuter than me, dammit. When I was a teenager there was this girl that sat with me at lunch, we rarely talked, and I can’t say I was attracted to her in the slightest, but my ‘father” asks how did I know how she sees me and yeah I don’t know honestly.

I’ve known maybe one girl in two years possibly who openly told me that she wanted to fuck me and you want to know how does it feel for me to hear that, honestly they should bottle such an emotion. On the other hand, I honestly need to know when to shut the fuck up, playing games with another girl, and I got her and her giggly friend to look me up on Facebook, and that’s all she wrote there. Let’s call her Zibby to my Jesse, the same girl that got me going but no I haven’t told her off yet Dirty Diana, that’s one fear I haven’t had to face as of yet, and the thing is what if I’m still 100% clueless?

Lost Without U, I’ve said some stupid things to girls to be quite honest, and we still remember the bitch who I haven’t looked up at all this year; I’ve never tracked people down, or hidden in dumpsters. Okay this is more of a conversation for Inspector Echo, and I’ve probably already had it, and with you too, the desire to have some girl go all “Taylor Townsend” on my ass, You Don’t Know My Name, I’d even take Amber from “Kill Theory.” A dominant I am but to have the girl chase the monster and then when she finally finds me, we’ll see how badly she wants to play, but that Dirty Diana is a dream, however with my book… who knows, could happen.

One woman looked me up on Whisper and as soon as she saw my face; it’s hard to have body issues when people never get past the mask, and yeah women have some problems with men but if some woman came after me? Not in a psychotic, I want to kill you sort of way, more like U Got It Bad, how North looks at Markus (thank you Detroit: Become Human) way *sigh* asking the obvious, Do You Lust Me.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 011 ~How Lust Last Forever~

How old is Barbie, Galatea, or the Mona Lisa, I suppose I could look them up, and if I asked about Stormy Daniels career, I would only be some guy that likes porn, and you wouldn’t ask about the beautiful woman. How Lust Lasts Forever?

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Episode 011 ~How Lust Last Forever~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to write about her other than she’s hot, I’ll wait… yeah no one can sit forever, but these words should they ever know a publisher; I don’t want everyone to know how “freaky-deaky” I am, what turns me on as if that’s a secret one can hope. Novel talk might be more of a conversation for Lady Sophia but seeing as how I’ve getting inspired by two porn stars “Stormy Daniels” and “Bryci,” a Cosplayer “Angie Griffin” not to mention an ex-love interest here and there truthfully.

Of course, names are changed and let me say that the library has worked out for me, forces me to keep my hands on my keyboard, and I don’t want to look up porn, I know I have plenty saved up. I also haven’t bothered with being polite like with a love letter, a road I’m Never Going Back Again, because it’s creepy when you know the author, back when I wrote for other people, guys ended up fucking some beautiful girl. Men write songs, produce films like “500 Days of Summer” one of the greatest lessons I ever learned when it comes to writing.

“Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.”

“That guy had a lot more sex than me.” ― 500 Days of Summer (2009)

One more reason I’m a dominant, I want to make an impression, that I can’t only be some standard dick to ride, that I want a woman to remember, as the song goes “guess it’s true, I’m not good at a one-night stand.” I want a woman to Stay With Me; in a way, they all do to be sure. I can fuck a woman until she can’t walk for a bit. Until she’s speaking so many lies over the phone so she can Stay, and of course scarves and her lingerie are fun to be sure. So when I finally find my forever will I quit writing, of course not, I’m even thinking of ways to incorporate sex with Camp NaNoWriMo other than erotica, if I find YouTube distracting or a blowjob while driving what about while writing novels?

I still remember when getting my porn fix meant praying for HBO, Showtime, Cinemax to show some soft-core or stealing my father’s pornos, and when I first discovered Hentai, now those were some fun times. I have never forgotten that I’m a guy that likes boobs and that girls what, That’s What I Like, breasts, eyes, thighs, though I have my preferences as always though not set in stone but honestly How Lust Lasts Forever?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

While I never thought about being a wrestler, there was a time I was a big fan, and a part of me still is apparently, but I need more than a picture and more than a thousand words on most days. Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions, distracting.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Episode 004 ~Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Give Me One Reason to keep liking brunettes, girls with dark hair or crazy bright: Bayley, AJ Lee, Paige, Ronda Rousey, Askua, please stop me before I get into another porn downloading session. Don’t worry I’m still practicing No Fap, Day 117 and counting but it’s hard, it’s stressful, and considering how pissed I’ve been at “people” lately no wonder a girl like Alexa Bliss has caught my eye for the time being; what do they say, blondes have more fun.

Don’t remember the last time that I had fun, being on my back most days which only continues to push me towards the likes of Alexa and I can’t say I usually have a thing for athletic girls, but that’s because I hate most sports and wrestling doesn’t have cheerleaders. Why do I watch some of the Olympics again… though it isn’t cool to think about those Olympians like that with all the scandal only in this day and age it isn’t okay to think of most women like that unless you’re rich, a fellow victim or a convict. Hair color does not make the woman but since high school, I’ve had a type, and I’m starting to think I chose wrong, don’t judge girls by the color of their roots because in the end as the song goes… we’re all the same color when you turn out the lights.

We’re all the same color when you turn out the lights” Fredro Starr, True Colors

What about words though Dirty Diana, I’m still working on “Apocalypse Rush” (Working Title) and already we’ve had gangbangs, kidnappings, and blood galore, but which do you think will bother people more, words like “cum dumpster,” interracial sex, or redrum? How about the Man In The Mirror, I’m no cover boy, no pin-up, and sadly the content of my novel doesn’t bother me. Instead, it’s the quality and how about the fact I have so many unpublished stories already. I would show you an excerpt, but character names need some alterations, you know inspiration, Angie Griffin, Alexa Bliss, the age-old question of blonde or brunette or redheads “courtwithconfidence” just saying.

I could name more but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words and truth be told I need around fifteen hundred for my novel today, so this evening hopefully I’ll be facing black and white aplenty and not Pin Ups, Falls, Submissions.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 362 ~A Sucker For Pain~

Yeah, that’s not my size but maybe her, her or perhaps you know her, I can only imagine, I keep bleeding love to tick off to music genres, but I’ve just been ticking off myself lately. “A Sucker For Pain”

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Lesson 362 ~A Sucker For Pain~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,

Can You Love Me Again, even if you’re not a masochist indeed I would prefer if you weren’t though I’m a sadist, if you enjoy the pain then I have no reason to inflict it. How I want to hurt you. I know I’m supposed to be explaining a bit all the reasons I’m a dominant and maybe that will be in the coming year, and I wish I could think of something special for us but Dirty Diana I’m not in the mood at all.

For the longest time, I thought maybe I was a masochist, though I don’t get off on the pain only these days everything hurts, and I don’t know why but my entire life it’s as if I’m asking for more. These days other than the usual porn that I torture myself with because I’m into Day 110 of No Fap, I’ve taken up the habit of wearing a rubber band around my wrist and snapping it every time I do something stupid or let my fear get the better of me. Considering all I know about self-harm I’m pretty damn pathetic, but I need the pain to learn. While I said last week, I want a girl to know how I feel I wouldn’t wish my life or anybody but if I can endure and want to stick around in my skin, if she can take it maybe she’ll want to stick around with me… Psychopath’s Prey wasn’t that bad?

One can’t learn to inflict pain unless one has known it, so I should take pain not as gratification but as a lesson of course, what doesn’t kill you right, though the drawback is plenty of empathy. Another old saying, this is going to hurt me more and it will emotionally, maybe physically, definitely financially but a dominant looks after a submissive and I like my Subs to wear beautiful things, only so I can tear them off later. Hell, it’s killing me that I haven’t gotten “Detroit: Become Human” or a PS4 for that matter, and still, I saw this bikini on “Enchanted Bikinis,” and it would be more than a hundred dollars and no Sub at the moment but “I Always Find A Way.” Where there’s a Will, and I’m still him always.

“My mother named me Victor because she knew I’d always win. I’ll be fine.” Victor Strand, Fear The Walking Dead

Haven’t I said before or thought it up that we’re closest to life when we’re near death or in pain, let’s go with “hurt” and maybe that’s what I need, sexual gratification might knock some out but denial keeps you awake, A Sucker For Pain.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 355 ~Give A Lit Bit~

Domination 101, how much do I know and what do I believe, this might be an ongoing series considering it has nearly been a year, hell might be a book idea, but I’m talking to the wrong woman, all of them in fact. Give A Little Bit

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Lesson 355 ~Give A Lit Bit~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again after I tell you why I’m a dominant and not like Christian Grey though I am a sadist, I like hurting brunettes, but I love my mother very much and the black women I do like… Zoë Kravitz, Alicia Keys, and Amandla Stenberg before she shaved her head to name a few. Yes, I want the pain, the humiliation, anger, fight, and submission, and the ironic thing is I would never do this to the everyday person, while I loathe humanity my aunt was right and wrong about me destroying the world, that’s just dumb Diana.

Already this is more than I have time for, but unlike lovemaking, I will try and be brief and let me start there, the world has taken so much, I ration myself, I rip myself into pieces and then try to hold it together, to be an Ordinary Human. I have felt all of the above, pain and the like and while Yoda famously said fear leads to anger it can also lead to courage and with it power and where would you want that power to go… vengeance? A person wants to fight, and they say, “you want a piece of me” now not every girl I lay eyes on is love but rather “a viable romantic partner,” and she deserves far more. Indeed it demands my all, and so a submissive gives so must a dominant like me.

Why do I attract the broken and the dirty, because I see and as much as I hate this word “potential” I don’t want to change them but build them up, girls will tell you, I learn all about them, feed them, comfort them and at the same time I want the Madonna and the Whore. I’m sure Sigmund Freud, would have something to say about that but I also mentioned anger, and no I have never abused a woman, and maybe this is fucked up, but I want a woman to know exactly how I feel, the power over oneself finally taken and made desirable. I often say I want a girl that would make an incredible zombie apocalypse partner, a warrior and someone like that must know all of me, the Negan and King Ezekiel, the North to my Markus (Detroit: Become Human, my obsession), the Belle to my Beast, all that I am is yours even If Only For One Night honestly.

This is only the tip of who I am I mean, why am I into an innocent “youthful” look, why do I prefer silk, ribbons, sheets and using clothes rather than leather, ropes, and traditional restraints but I am a dominant because a girl deserves more but why with the world as a whole do I Give A Little Bit.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 348 ~A Star Is Porn~

Am I jealous that I have no hand for pictures, so I rely on words, and some girls don’t send nudes but the creativity it takes to imagine such but am I honestly, I’ll admit seeing is believing and helps the writing process? “A Star Is Porn”

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Lesson 348 ~A Star Is Porn~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, after I tell you the truth and like Abbey Brooks in “Chasing Down Big Titty Abbey Brooks” if a guy wants to fuck a girl why won’t he say it plainly… not polite? Is it weird that I’m using some “old” porn because I’m out of touch strangely but would it be any better using a fake one or some old movie, the things I have seen this week and what turns me on anytime honestly?

I read once that world history is summed up with one sentence “these white men are dangerous” but I also say this, that all achievement and don’t get me wrong, we’ve got women, we’ve had some stolen but in the phrase “I want to fuck her.” Men can be Neanderthals or fucking brain trusts when it comes to a girl, nothing spurs creativity, ingenuity, ambition, and sadly even downright violence when it comes to a girl spreading her legs. To think once upon a time a smile was enough. Some girls are compared to a summer’s day and now how are women remembered and as I have said before any girl that doesn’t want to be found attractive and any man that denies it is lying and I hate lying.

Whether under the sunlight or the spotlight a girl is still beautiful, being beside a man, beneath him, on top, she can again know appreciation for all she is; take for example Kim Dickens character of Madison Clark, it wasn’t until her character met death that I longed to see her naked and fucking. No, I’m not into necrophilia *cough* RealDoll *cough* drunk sluts *cough* The Walking Dead/Fear, My Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Fantasy, and speaking of which, Alycia Debnam-Carey a gif I made her from a “Deep Fake” video someone else made. How about being remembered forever, I can’t find anything else on Brandy Woods, but my dick could recall her scene in “The Cheerleaders” 1973 and no I’m not that old but God how I want my books to be.

It’s no secret the characters in my books are somewhat real people “coincidentally” so wouldn’t it be the highest honor to them that I publish, and thereby they live forever and as for myself? Yeah at one point I was into Chloe, Kara, and North, “Detroit: Become Human,” still thinking I watched too much Hentai and wanted her and her. Simultaneous or I have that much love to give, but I suppose another way of looking at it is, words are cheap unless you do something with them and so “A Star Is Porn .”

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 341 ~Peeping John, Dick, Willy~

Sometimes I feel like I’m not writing, but I am merely a spectator, I guess what I saw today is still processing so I let another eye on this, you know the one, and he hasn’t anything better to do these days. Peeping John, Dick, Willy.

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Lesson 341 ~Peeping John, Dick, Willy~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, well if they did Quasimodo, and Lenny Levine (Just Looking) then maybe I can buy myself some absolution as well after all love is a beautiful thing, and so is destruction? Now let me preface this by saying I’m not suggesting anything illegal, though let’s be honest where were you on the day of “The Fappening” and how about these past days *cough* Amanda Seyfried *cough*.

Don’t we all love a love story, why exactly were women going to see “Magic Mike,” what made “Fifty Shades Of Grey” a big hit, why is pornography one of the cornerstones of the Internet? Is it a lack of creativity on our part, could it be merely the beauty to somehow take part in or maybe it’s jealousy which clearly shows through; might it be dreaming the impossible dream. Hell, I have a picture of a naked MILF I would choose over any stripper or porn star, and here I was about to say the realness or maybe the forbidden nature of owning such.

“Why don’t they ever a make a movie about what happens after they kiss?” Jamie

“They do, it’s called porn.” Dylan, Friends with Benefits (2011)

Sad perhaps but isn’t that how we do everything nowadays, a screen, the glass, doors, walls, everything in-between. Only such a thing is meant to be private, and then we head into fetish territory. I’ve read enough erotic novels to be that hidden camera, the paparazzi, the fly on the wall, and if I had a girl to keep for myself would I suddenly put down all the books, turn off my computer, hell I would want her reading and watching too. Sometimes I would consider myself an exhibitionist… I’m not going to bother trying to defend that, but if it sits better with some I would like to be one of those couples into PDA, hand holding, kissing, dirty words and so much more.

“It ain’t no fun if the homies can’t “see” none.” ― Snoop Dogg, feat. Nate Dogg, Kurupt, Warren G, Ain’t No Fun (If The Homies Can’t Have None) Doggystyle (1993)

Maybe it’s the fact that death has become so commonplace and yet we have to hide love and affection, we treat it as taboo and forbidden, and you know how I usually land right on one of those extremes, sex, and violence. It’s a shared intimacy for those who dare, some of my favorites being that scene in Sex Zombies by S. Wolf when the characters were hiding in the closet or “Lingerie” when Lacey watched Jason and Vanessa fuck.

It’s Only Love,” and yes people are entitled to keep it all for themselves, I’ll be the same way “no touching” but the feeling I get “Somebody’s Watching Me,” anyway well Peeping John, Dick, Willy.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 334 ~Just A Love Machine~

Brothels are targets and others who work in the legal sex industry by the government, but boys must have their toys, and for once I don’t mean guns. Personally, I would settle for a PS4 and a copy of Detroit: Become Human. “Just A Love Machine?”

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Lesson 334 ~Just A Love Machine~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, wait why am I asking, because that’s what you do right, then again you don’t ask to kiss the girl, to make love, or hell to fall in love, no wonder men and women are in serious trouble. We’ve forgotten what it means to have simple relationships, where every word can get you into trouble, the idea that we analyze and scrutinize everything, that some resort to crime because what is love and sex is mechanics.

If you’ve been listening to me these last few days, you know I have become “obsessed” yes, that’s the word some use with me but what about the new game “Detroit: Become Human” or more to the point the characters Kara, North, and Chloe. Stupid I suppose how often I fall for characters but what about real women, I wouldn’t call myself a love machine but more a laugh factory and don’t we laugh at those guys who buy “Real Dolls” yeah and I spent a year writing to Abyss Creations. You see the internet is full of companies advertising fake girlfriends, bots all over the place, and what is a dominant but someone who falls but for a submissive and uses those traits to serve themselves and the relationship?

Where would I even begin designing the perfect lover though I’m sure a few girls know my tastes and give it another year or so and there will be robotic lovers, and this is the way the world ends. Now I could tell you all about the sex, check the warning but it happens you know, a guy not being in the mood, I suppose we are the sum of our parts, the penis one way, my heart breaking, my mind angry, and most of it over a video game. I’d say I wish I was a machine and with my whole “No Fap” policy I feel like I want to explode but if I leak anything, it will be tears, sweat, or blood, not that I’m into that type of play to be sure.

Machines have been letting me down lately or more like the people who write shows since I’m only talking about TV and I didn’t have to watch that walkthrough, but I was hooked you know. I know what humans are capable of and here we are, as we created God in our image so too we develop machines, to do things that humans are having a hard time with; yes sex is one thing but *sigh* Just A Love Machine?

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 327 ~”No,” Your Safeword Please~

No means no without question, but in this day and age, people are neglecting the issue, some are truly bad, some are cowards, and as for myself well chains and whips excite me as the song goes. “No,” Your Safeword Please for all our sakes maybe.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Lesson 327 ~”No,” Your Safeword Please~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
Can You Love Me Again, that would be a no right, no means no, just many of the ways I respect women, though the last time a woman stopped me… yeah, I was trying to get her bra off, a scary prospect even for an experienced dominant. Horror, fear, terror, I’ve told you before we’ll have the “Ravishment” conversation, hopefully, before Lesson 365, we’re getting closer and speaking of getting close, why should I be afraid?

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

“When women start to scream,
it could be misconstrued.”

“Just keep going!” ― Friends With Benefits (2011)

Social Anxiety is one thing but once I have a girl on my couch or in bed that brings about several new types of fear and unlike social anxiety I happen to like this fear, this adrenaline rush. Scared of talking to a girl I maybe but I’ve never been scared of a girl physically, and I have one that would rip my clothes off if she had a chance and another would slap me if I kissed her. Power means responsibility, desire, fear, I’m sure there is a rule in there maybe, but I would never say no to such things Dirty Diana and who does anyway when it comes to those things maybe.

“Them girls only know three words:
stop, no and don’t.” Silas

“Uh-oh, my brother.
You got those words backward.
They always tell me,
No, don’t stop!” Jamal, How High (2001)

Sometimes I’m afraid of the beast that I will unleash like something out of The Purge “Release The Beast” I’m not crazy or anything… says the man with a bunch of outfits in the closet but sometimes I want to fuck a princess, others a schoolgirl, and then again Alice In Wonderland. How it terrifies me that I might not have everything I want but when have I ever been left unsatisfied, I’m not that complicated, controlling maybe, emotional, passionate but I would never allow a girl to go wanting, and I don’t want to find myself as such. Most men would never admit to being bad lovers, as for myself; I guess you would have to ask a girl, but if I had the courage I have in the bedroom in my everyday life, I might never know fear.

I know “No” though, and I told you about wrestling with a girl once, and she stopped me, and other things but I’ve never forced myself on anyone and I never would. Only I see these men do horrific things and I get labeled as such for what, a brand of love. Green, Yellow, Red, are a bit too normal, I guess I like creative women, but anything surely beats *sigh* “No,” Your Safeword Please.

I Will Have No Fear