Category: Inspector Echo

Episode 150 ~Will Took So Long~

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It’s a little earlier tonight, but I still won’t be getting a full night’s sleep, eight hours, six, funny, but if I even get three and tomorrow I should be done with NaNoWriMo, one more novel but honestly *sigh* Will Took So Long.

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Episode 150 ~Will Took So Long~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, is a year too long to wait, three months in, I’ve nearly written a novel in one, and when’s the last time I ever accomplished my list of six impossible things though if all goes well tomorrow… When’s the last time I got over five hours of sleep in a row, how about when I last did laundry, or I felt completely safe in this house; do any of these equate as sins or should I blame NaNoWriMo for it all?

No Inspector Echo that in itself is one sin that I’m looking to blame anything else other than me with anything that’s going on but if you want another crime, it’s that I’m “TRYING” you know how much I hate that word because it’s not doing. Perhaps a third sin, taking life lessons from Star Wars but am I different with my novel which should count as a fourth sin because it is indeed the worse thing I have ever written and why did it take me a month to realize that? How about the idea that I’m sleeping too much after work, never five hours though this would be the fifth sin but why am I staying up all hours of the night right?

“Indiana Gone” might count the fact that I never have any faith in myself but at this point what else do I have to give, other than to work, my writing, and the small amount of sanity I’m grappling onto and you know what I’m holding exactly, not books, beauties, or a full stomach. Hell, I still have plenty to eat, but at this point in life I smell like potato chips and work, even this morning I gained twenty minutes of sleep as I skipped a shower, I washed up in the sink, still had to get to the day job always. That’s seven right, the eighth is the fact that I’m not looking at the positive, tomorrow all that is required is a final nine hundred words, this weekend may be quite shiny if not for the immense cold, and Youtube’s musical selection has been doing wonders to keep me going despite everything.

A ton of forgiveness you’d believe right but still forgive me for blaming NaNoWriMo, where would I be without it. I’m sorry for more trying and less doing. Why can’t Yoda be a hero, only I’m more Vader wouldn’t you say? My apologies for horrible writing and my terrible sleep schedule, my lack of faith, for giving into every vice, sloth, and lust for the most part, and finally for who knows, finding success and saying, Will Took So Long.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

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As the song goes, I’m gonna wait ’til the midnight hour, although it’s way past that; at least I don’t have work, and this is probably the only time I wish I did despite not wanting to get fired, humiliation though? “Before My Willing Embarrassment”

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Episode 143 ~Before My Willing Embarrassment~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, become a comedian, but the humor in me died several years ago unless I’m wearing my mask, and that’s tonight’s first sin, knowing what I’m going to have to do Friday. I would say I will spend the whole day hiding, sin number two but that is going to be impossible which leads me to sin number three, wanting a miracle.

Can’t say I’ve wanted much else tonight, which is sin number four, not being able to say what I want, at least not all of it, no that can never happen, but that would lead to more than being a little embarrassed. Every damn day Inspector Echo when I know I’m going out into this world, it’s never with hope, the need to be helpful, or even being horny, it’s with the ancient knowledge to gird my loins for everything that is about to come. I don’t need a few nightmares to warn me of this, even “B III” saw, I don’t know if he thought his daddy was an idiot, a crazy person, or damn near dangerous, maybe he was embarrassed for me possibly.

Being a black man in America, of course I know the stories about what my “people” did to make this country great for themselves and everyone else as a whole and they got beaten, tortured, and killed for years. I suffer from Social Anxiety, Bipolar Depression, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Only so many others every single day fight their battles, they maintain, their lives are full of everything good. How about the fact that I read and write erotica, I’m an atheist, a dominant, a sadist, I hate Trump, I think we need gun control but I like assault weapons, I could go on with all of my “stupid” ideas honestly.

My point is that one of my biggest fears is that I’ll be humiliated for one reason or another by complete surprise but at the end of the day I’m walking right into it, and that’s my fifth sin. To feel that this is not a life worth living so how the FUCK should I know any thankfulness. May you forgive me for my mask, for wanting to run and hide instead of kicking butt, for waiting on the impossible, for not having what I want so ignoring what I need and for hating life at the start of another day, even In The Midnight Hour, so Happy Thanksgiving and cheers Before My Willing Embarrassment.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 136 ~Plague Two Pay Will~

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Well, I found my niche, but my title doesn’t reflect it sadly, not that I’ve shared the novel with anyone as of yet, is that a big sin considering I have four already written, best read in the dark, with the lights off. Plague Two Pay Will.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Episode 136 ~Plague Two Pay Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, ignore everybody else or at least that’s how Republicans look at it and that should count as a pretty big sin shouldn’t it, turning my back on the world, for this month at least. I know this is Lady Sophia’s wheelhouse, but there are days like these I remember why it’s right and okay to neglect humanity and then well Michonne:

“But the truth is the path ahead has only grown darker. It’s harder to see. You can feel so lost so alone so desperate for something, anything that might show you the way. But even now, after all this time, surrounded by darkness there are still flashes of light tiny beacons that shine out, calling to us. It’s not enough to light the way ahead, but it’s enough to keep going. Keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep dreaming.” Michonne TWD 6X09

I’m sure I’ve said on more than one occasion that I value the darkness in all its forms because I don’t want people to see, take my novel, for example, people are either in a brothel, below a beast or beneath a boulder and how’s this for irony. I want people to be blind, and at the same damn time people see these things only to call them out, so I give the people what they want, whether I want to or not, that’s my first sin. My second sin is, that while I’m making it a habit of ignoring all those people I face, here I am tonight appreciating someone who did inspire a name change of my book from “Plague Two Pay” to “Pay Two Plague” Inspector Echo.

“Look at my eyes, Faye. One of them is a fake because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I’ve been seeing the past in one eye and the present in the other. So, I thought I could only see patches of reality, never the whole picture.” Spike Spiegel

I suppose people have two eyes for a reason, two ears, then the trinity of one brain, one heart, and whatever’s going on between people’s legs these days, which is my third sin that my balls are no longer suffering for No Nut November. I think I’ve already talked about my coworker who’s having a series of trials and tribulations but is it a sin to not know what to say, hell Inspector Echo today was filled with not knowing a thing, tonight even I don’t know where my story is going, the darkness. The idea is the things that light me up, and here we go again, the glow of women, the crinkle of dollars, and a tale of blood, my impossible, immoral, illegal bouts of insanity and a lack of sleep this week.

Should I leave it at that, three sins isn’t too bad but again, idle hands. Yes I have been far from that this week but there is so much work left to me honestly, and the new world is built upon the bones of the old always and yes I feel it in my own but grateful for “B III.” Will you forgive me Inspector Echo, for being so accommodating to the masses, for practicing the art of “Doublethink” when it comes to hating people’s opinions and loving them, and for not controlling myself all the more, my sins a disease, Plague Two Pay Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

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Over ten thousand words so far and dare I say even more fantasies or am I giving myself far too much credit because I say yes to everything and that is quite the bad habit; maybe I should list that, but instead it’s insanity. The List Will Tell.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Episode 129 ~The List Will Tell~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, say things people want to hear, say yes, and sadly in my everyday life I have become a yes man, day job okay, going to vote… noted I would have gone anyway but I had to show proof; FEAR, of course, is always yes. How about NaNoWriMo, honestly it’s only been seven days, and I’m already sick of it, I could probably take it easy if it wasn’t for the day job but again yes to my RESEARCH, yes to being a pervert, yes to a future I won’t believe ever.

Now that’s my second sin; the first is all the times I say yes and I’m sure I’ve written about saying NO, if anything that would be better than what I’m producing right now, hell I forgot about that story I sent in and of course I didn’t win. According to my motivations, your purpose is the thing that you would do for free and hell yeah I’m doing it for free now, though I feel I could use some new pants. My third sin this week, I’m barely hanging in there when it comes to No Nut November or whatever they’re calling it, which leads me to my fourth sin, staying off the Internet.

Perhaps my greatest sin this week is my RESEARCH, I made a whole list of reasons why I should go to jail; somebody asked me what my dream was and I told them it was becoming two specific guys. Both of them better men than me for so many reasons but I’m also greedy; the Coven I created in my novel has thirteen members, and the thirteen classes of girls, and probably more twists and turns and curves, cue *Homer Drooling*. I think missing all of my sleep is my penance for all my crimes this week, but it’s never enough Inspector Echo I know that to be true, even in fiction though I’m letting something quite evil Get Free.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duHRethKzVE&t=8s

Do you want to see it; some names are changed or not exactly mentioned because I’m not that crazy, well not yet anyway though my story would beg to differ which is the whole point, NaNoWriMo and the day job. So Inspector Echo will you forgive me of my sins, the constant stream of yes, for once again living for a future I don’t believe in, for having far too many reasons to give into the little head, for the constant wasting of time online and the girls that made this… The List Will Tell.

1 – 3. European Photoshoots 6. The Walking Dead 10. Amateur Redheads
4. Girl From Pinterest 7 – 8. Vault Girls 11. Model Redheads
5. A Horror Movie 9. Virgin Roster 12. Rhode Island
13. A MILF

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

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Last week it was voting and the erotica reading group I belong to votes every month, and I’m still trying to catch up and dare I say it write another book, because I don’t burn them, trashed one maybe two. Sin What Will’s Reading.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Episode 122 ~Sin What Will’s Reading~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, stop spending all my money on books, how about my new plan of reading one before I start writing for the day and hell I have four books ready to go so why not get one published. Tonight is for monsters being Halloween and all; perhaps you think I should be talking to Lady Sophia as well between reading and being the eve of NaNoWriMo but let’s focus more on my sins involving books thus far.

My first two experiences with drugs happened by accident, one on Halloween night and the other with a book on Vietnam; I wasn’t “poisoned per se, but while I never got cut by some razor blade or needle in my candy, I got a nice dose of LSD, so why the trust issues? Now the book, which I can’t even remember the title came from me saying “I need to get high,” figure of speech or friend selling me a dime bag of weed and hiding it in my book, I mean I did pay him after all, just saying.

This night makes me feel young a bit. While I was still in school, I often used books to hide because I couldn’t use my Walkman. Seriously what’s my age again but anyway I became quite visible when some stupid bitch threw my copy of “The Amber Spyglass” at another girl, no such thing as Kindle because if there were… God help her. I also discovered the first book I could never finish; I think it was called The Moonstone, added to that list are “Lord of the Flies” and The Bible though I have read through several books including John and Revelation of course.

Being an adult though, and here’s a doozy of a sin, I read “Fifty Shades of Grey” now I’ve always had a taste for BDSM but when I read that book *sigh* it was an awakening for me somewhat, as I began studying BDSM in earnest, and it’s damn well-been erotica ever since. You see my “father” never gave me “The Talk” so my first look at sex was all the Hentai I could print but that doesn’t help in the real world ever, though I made quite a collage.

My sexual experiences were somewhat, subdued because I didn’t understand my cravings, Sadism, Ravishment, I didn’t know about contracts, SSC or RACK so I began studying, here’s the thing though, guys that read period are nerds, the man cave instead of the study or we’re perverted because this stuff is female porn. So Lady Sophia, forgive me for books distracting me, being used as drug mules, for not defending them or giving up and for being both a nerd and creep, but honestly not being prepared for NaNoWriMo tonight because *sigh* Sin What Will’s Reading.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

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Well I was seeing red a few hours ago, and I’m voting blue soon enough if anyone asks, and work (not the day job) has been fruitful, well I guess that might be for you yo decide. “Will Sees Red Again”… no not at you silly

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Episode 115 ~Will Sees Red Again~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, I know one thing I won’t be spending money on any black hoodies for a while but then again, work being work which is why I’m wearing the red one *sigh* let me explain. There are reasons you shouldn’t go around waving the Confederate flag, that “Very Fine People” would refrain from wearing Nazi uniforms, why KKK costumes are more about celebrating your heritage (of being an asshole) I’m just saying.

My first sin of the day *ahem* changing my clothes because wearing the same color as somebody I despise. Hell how about seeing the person I hate period doesn’t sit well with me, the rage has returned. Now I know you want to say that I control how I respond to people but let me put it this way, you’re going on a date, a girl gets dressed up, why… to get a reaction from you, and as much as most girls don’t want to admit it, if a guy is straight and seeing you, he wants to “bang” you, point blank period, get used to it. Some people I feel nothing for, some I want, and others fill me with rage, excuse me if my name isn’t Elsa and I won’t let it go, though there are ways, R.I.P.

“What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word
As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee” William Shakespeare

They say people can control you with rage, but that’s true on most emotions and what I feel today besides madness leads me to my second sin, how late this is coming along Inspector Echo but I did finish a short story, “Love The Way You Run,” still singing the praises of 5-hour ENERGY. Third would be the fact as I was telling “Indiana Gone” she knows what I think of my writing, but it’s supposed to hurt right, though it doesn’t bother me to say that my words suck most days. At least I think I know how to get through NaNoWriMo this year if tonight is any indication. Before I forget, how about politics, how stupid can some people be, and yes I will be going blue, my fourth sin, that YouTube at least thinks it can sway me somehow. Trump Sucks, Republicans.

Maybe I should have started talking to you first Inspector Echo; I swear I had some good stuff, but now I’m only blah awake, not feeling anything but getting a lot done, hopefully, no more porn, but some girls… Can you forgive me Inspector Echo for believing the clothes make the man is now an emotional response, how about for staying up late with TV and books, as always for hating my writing, and the state of politics, again I’m all blue, but today sorry but Will Sees Red Again?

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

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I’m okay, no more and no less, I survive one more day, and I think… yeah right, on to the next one and soon it doesn’t hurt so much, dare I say there is a little less fear after a while? Meet The Complacent Will

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Episode 108 ~Meet The Complacent Will~

Forgive Me Echo,
How To Make One Million Dollars, don’t go to therapy; you think my job pays me enough for health insurance? Stay awake maybe, well look at me today, and eat healthy, again look at where I work. The thing is I still work there, so does Dumb and Dumber and as far as Dumbest, I could be way off the mark, but I haven’t seen him since last week, could I possibly be so lucky… highly doubtful, PCH hasn’t shown up with my big check as such.

That’s my first sin, but even you ask though you are way smarter than Rudy Giuliani. Can hope be a sin, I said yesterday I pray for my dog though I don’t believe in any deity. Every day I plan for the best, and I woke up in my drool, and I wanted to see a black man fall. My second sin is that this makes me as normal as anybody else, I remember when America learned Osama Bin Laden got put down and there was such celebration. Sure he was a killer but are we not better? I know a young woman who took a bullet and another woman who is a dear friend who got robbed, and neither has seen their assailants brought to justice, this world can be better. This leads me to my third sin, it’s people that make this world what it is, and another coworker asked me about my job and if I go through so much crap, hell like my boss, why don’t I leave, and that’s the magic word for today Inspector Echo, COMPLACENCY, I am complacent.

My fourth sin is that I’m willing to accept it, all last week and now this week it’s been; please let me keep my job, no fear Inspector, as I have said the fight does not bother me it’s what I’ll have to do. That’s five, the fact that I have returned to my normal state which is no damn good, wake up, go to work, come back and pass out, then talk to you or any of the girls about making a million dollars all so I can speak with actual girls. Even in that, I have become quite complacent maybe I’m that damn greedy, or perhaps I’m a pervert but if I counted that as a sin every single week I’m screwed right…

So what’s my plan for tomorrow, I could be wrong of course about the situation, and that means, the sixth sin for today. I am going to worry tonight, and the man I want to be should focus on making the world, well my world a better place; I want to be like Dennis Hof may he rest in peace. Will you forgive me Inspector Echo for wishing to see another person fall (nevermind). I apologize for being, well human. For accepting this life in its ways, for not “trying” harder, and for another night of worry. Hell for those five minutes I remembered someone else that threatened to ruin me, but I Ain’t Happy but Meet The Complacent Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 101 ~Will Quake With Fear~

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I’m not afraid of the giant, and I will not fear the rage, but like most Americans, I fear to lose my job and why would I… this land is full of bullies, and while I believe survivors when it comes to “my people” *sigh*. Will Quake With Fear

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Episode 101 ~Will Quake With Fear~

“All human wisdom is contained in these two words – Wait and Hope” Alexandre Dumas

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars, well I know you don’t burn down the beanstalk, hell I wanted to fight the giant, and in that rage and fire, I may lose the treasure and so much for buying any more beans, magic or otherwise. Fee-fi-fo-fum what a giant. That’s one more sin because I’m not a great judge of character. The giant was Dumb. Dumber was a bit shorter. The one around my size was Dumbest. The smallest dogs have the loudest bark am I right Echo?

Am I yearning to return to high school, my second sin of this week is I’m going to repeat a lesson in philosophy *ahem* the best thing in the world is to be loved, barring that they like you, no good, be respected, not happening, be invisible, but people joke… then be feared. It took me four years, by my senior year I may be small, skinny, quietest award winner but I was also the one that would F* you up, third sin Inspector Echo, my language, I only like to use that word when it comes to sex. Now is not the time though, I’ll tell you about the story of “four” another day, but my forth sin is I don’t have time, I might get fired tomorrow and what would I be… Wise, Wicked, Warrior, Will, the man I was ready to fight for, still can’t believe it.

I’ve already covered this in two statements at work but okay my fifth sin and possibly my gravest… Tuesday morning I was at work walking the receiving line, Dumb who I have promoted to Dumbest was as well, he wouldn’t move and neither would I and we collided. So I’m not backing down, he threatens, I stand my ground, we let it go. Later on, I bump him, it was an accident this time around, but still, he threatens, again I hold my ground and the manager breaks us up; well I’m a reasonable human being or a scared one maybe. Not afraid of cutting off his balls but This Is America, so I reported it, should I count snitching as a sin or the thought of how I would have brought that giant down, I’m not sorry for standing.

No my sixth sin for the finale is that I always live in fear, when I was a kid it was my grades, when it was money, waiting to be caught stealing, and let’s not forget November the 5th, the worse trouble I’ve had at the day job, and Here I Go Again. So will you forgive me Inspector Echo for not recognizing true threats, for repeating a lesson, for swearing, also this lack of time; shall I be forgiven for the inevitable but most importantly of all the fear because for one more night I Will Quake With Fear.

“Hope strengthens. Fear kills” Fever

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 094 ~Misery For The Willing~

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I’ve never found tears beautiful; I told my “father” once at Disney World I was crying with joy but other than making it rain dollars he’s only brought me sadness and now, I have become a partner in the business of misery. Misery For The Willing

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 094 ~Misery For The Willing~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars, stop spending money on books but fortunately I have already read Misery by Stephen King so buying it isn’t a priority though I have been thinking about getting a new Kindle. Anything to avoid the sadness that has overwhelmed my life as of late and I’m not even talking about my depression, four dead Fur Babies, a deceased husband, one Break-In and a MILF asking for money; I’m a bad man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPBtCBPg_o0

Isn’t this what this is all about Inspector Echo, me being bad, I see all my friends losing their four-legged children, and I can’t do right by mine; well I did cut the grass, but of course we both know why I did that. The woman that lost her husband, dammit I should have been sweeter to her, I mean she does say hi to me but so does my friend whose house got robbed, and in all honesty, I don’t know what to say or do for her. Speaking of which I know what I want to do for the MILF, right there in the title “Mom I’d Like to…” but if I said that to her or how I want to help her, yeah everyone I know would quickly hate my guts.

Donald, Brett, Will, I do not need that sort of comparison, and yet I go back to that day in the Walmart parking lot when that mom approached me and asked for money for her and her daughter, and I gave her five dollars and for a week after I regretted it, why? What would she have done for more and yes I know this isn’t Reality Kings or Brutal Castings, I’m not talking to Dirty Diana here but the fact that such a thought crossed my mind and now here we are but on a positive note I know I’m wrong. Like I told “Cherry” though I am going through a time of my life when I’m won’t say “I’m Sorry” at the rate I would always be sorry because I’m waiting for the next tragedy to come down.

I must wonder might it be the same for others, we can’t remember the Las Vegas shooting, can’t feel bad for some crying white guy, worry about the animals, the ozone, and everything else and then we’re told to live each day as though it were our last. Can you forgive me Inspector Echo for having the strangest question of What’s So Bad About Feeling Good, how about forgiveness for not being a better father and friend, or wanting to bribe needy women, I need less Misery For The Willing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Euz9a0oAlw

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

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If only I stuck to brunettes and not hot redheads, or girls that want me to work certain days and a manager that doesn’t know I will not tolerate, Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest but I’m still the loser here. Will Buys More L’s

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Episode 087 ~Will Buys Some L’s~

Forgive Me Echo,
How to make One Million Dollars or not because let’s be honest, I’m lazy, late, and driven by lust on the best of days and of course, this isn’t one, and I can’t remember the last one, to be honest. I wasn’t lazy at the day job, no, only a loser and yes this is going to be one more depressing conversation, I have noticed my viewership going down which is saying a lot and I want to say I don’t pay people to like me ever…

So should I explain what happened yesterday when DUMB asked me for money, and I reached into my pocket, as luck would have it I didn’t have enough but what is it they say, it’s the thought that counts? I’m continually complaining about money nowadays, and both DUMB and DUMBER are costing me because I don’t know how to deal with those assholes other than to lay back and take it, fuck, and I know Inspector Echo, watch the language.

Love is a bad word or even like which explains why I was such a lame brain today on Messenger but what am I afraid of, other than someone putting a pretty girl in front of me and I get all stupid? Hell if I let nature happen and give up this whole NO FAP nonsense I would be quite lucid most of the day, and I wouldn’t have to sit here in fear of tomorrow, but at least I told one of the managers no about work because I can’t let the anxiety go Inspector Echo, you know that.

Which leads me to why we’re talking now instead of hours ago, and it’s not that I’m lethargic, again I am afraid and you know something, perhaps that’s the silver lining; while I’m nowhere near courageous, I’m alive, I’m moving, and the movie ain’t over yet. However, am I lying to myself thinking that I can change it, I “try” to get healthier and every day it seems I get sick, I say I’m going to work, and then I repeat later on. Every Morning, the alarm lambastes me, and instead of fighting to stay awake or do something productive or constructive, I do nothing; sometimes even worse I go back to sleep, my hypocrisy.

“Fear does something strange to people like Al. But not you. Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.” Tobias Eaton A.K.A. Four (Divergent)

Can you forgive me Inspector Echo, for being as low as I’ve been for… hell who knows, and again it’s lying to say things might get better, how about forgiveness for losing “loot” from motivation to rap right, I’m sorry for being lame and of course Will Buys More L’s.

I Will Have No Fear