Lesson 220 ~Waiting For My Girl~

Live today because there is no tomorrow, is that why people believe in love at first sight, I swear if I had a nickel for every potential future misses, and people wonder why I focus on hair color sometimes. Waiting For My Girl, waiting for my story.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Lesson 220 ~Waiting For My Girl~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I won’t make the mistake of the typical man, as they say, good things come to those who wait, and I’ve stood in some truly awful lines, as I’m sure you have. Waiting for each other though, no I would instead take Mario’s approach, even if it means that plumbing job (more like retail) didn’t work out, or maybe you did your best Daenerys Targaryen, you’re the mother of dragons princess.

Maybe you will be someday with me by your side waiting for our first, our second, our third, already got the names picked out if they’re girls, Katniss, Tris, Ember, our girls on fire. No wonder I’ll need a castle and to find out my princesses are in another one, wait until I tell them the story of how I met their mother, my queen. Only why did I wait so long to find you, must have been the mushrooms, or the books, the writing, the games, to be worthy of having someone like you.

“Where have you been?”
“Waiting.” ― Fifty Shades of Grey

That’s why I’m still here, waiting, though I want to tell you “girl, you’re amazing, just the way you are,” how I love my smartphone, I love this music, and I love you even more. I suppose it serves me right, but at least we’ll be waiting together from now on, and they won’t all be so amazing, which is why I wish I found you so much sooner. When I was waiting to see if I would keep my job, when I was waiting to see if my book would be accepted, or what would become of my dog, or years and I do mean years into the future when the kids want a dog of their very own.

So you ask me why did I wait so long when I believe in love at first sight, however, could I spoil that moment and how did I know that I would see you again. Maybe I needed one more daydream, a moment to don my armor, how about how best to break it to my dog, my heart that is, and then, hmm then…

Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” ― William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet

I can’t wait to tell this story one day, and I promise not to be Ted Mosby when the time comes, but I can already hear, what are you waiting for as you stand there, yeah I was just, I guess Waiting For My Girl.

“What are you waiting for,
Love me like you do” Love Me Like You Do

I Will Have No Fear

Definition Of Flawed, Madness, Love

What would be the British equivalent of the Jerry Springer show, do they have Starbucks in England, shouldn’t I be asking questions about the book, it would be like having Thanksgiving dinner with my family. “Definition Of Flawed, Madness, Love”

“You’ve gotta give me more than ten minutes, sweetheart.”
― Lia Peele, Definition of Flawed

How about a week and two hundred and thirteen pages, so am I ready to talk about it now… four out of five stars seem to dictate that I sort of want to don’t they. I think this would be more suited for The Richard Bey show or maybe Jerry Springer, hell you could throw in a few more talk show host like Maury or maybe Steve Harvey because I’m going to make plenty of mistakes with this just saying.

This book wasn’t a mistake though it certainly lived up to its name, a drunk father, college girl, a son around her age, I swear it took me right back to those chants of Jerry, Jerry, from the talk shows. Speaking of the talk, not to sound like you know who and Norway but it’s always nice to read an author from across the pond, meaning England, to be honest, this is probably the third book I’ve reviewed from a Brit that I know some. It’s sort of cool to look up words you see one way, and they regard another, but better you be prepared for it right now because it could get confusing.

Plot-wise you could see what was coming rather quickly, but then there’s the portion of the book where chairs start getting thrown and fists start swinging, glad there was a bit of that in there. That’s how real the characters feel, and you can’t help but wonder what you would do in that situation, for me this touched on a personal level, but I don’t want to spoil it yet… Don’t judge a book by its cover either, while it’s a bit racy inside and out this is more family drama, sort of like Thanksgiving all year, they could have stood to drink that much more.

Seeing as this was just the prequel to a series, I can only imagine it’s going to crank up the sex factor and that we may get even more secrets from the whole family and I will admit that it’s somewhat tempting. You’ll have fun trying to guess who indeed is the most flawed and it was surprising that a woman isn’t always right, well at least one of them.

“hot ‘n spicy loving, hmm.”
Lia Peele, Definition of Flawed

Paul Jackson is probably not the typical bad boy women think about, criminal, billionaire, ex-soldier, a prisoner with a good heart. He’s a regular working man with a penchant for alcohol. Though older than Scarlett I’ve read through all the types. Of course, you know right off the bat that he won’t win, then again who knows, the start of the series but yeah no, he has plenty of fun.

Scarlett Trent drifts between that young, have fun college girl and homemaker mentality, knows what she’s doing in the bedroom and honestly tries in the kitchen, she stocks the fridge. I couldn’t see myself falling in love with her, but there is somebody for everyone and her and Paul… seriously whoever wants to tell their parents their right about relationships.

Then we have Dev, and cue Taylor Swift, I knew you were trouble when you walked in, but that could also mean Paul as well, like father, like son I guess but you knew at least the Scarlett and Dev portion of the story in seconds. Having read a preview of the next book, well maybe it’s a bit too soon to start making those sort of predictions.

As for other characters, you got the college friends, the boys looking at Scarlett like a MILF, and the typical mommy and daddy dynamic, which was a bit too reasonable to be believable but maybe that’s just me. The only other most damaging character is Stacey, and again I’m not trying to give anything away, but I think the term ratchet should apply to her. Sort of an avalanche of exposition, a moment of remembering who the real enemy is, and that’s sad when it comes to her but a quick break from the sexual tension. For all the rapid sex scenes between Paul and Scarlett it does cool down rather quickly, but the story is intriguing.

“I took one look at him and went in the opposite direction.”
Definition of Flawed

Hopefully, as the song goes, you’ll follow me, as I was telling the author my Kindle tends to lose everything or maybe it’s a trick from Amazon to get me to buy more books, but I became invested enough to see how this turned out. It is a solid four out of five, and any significant gripes; the ending is a bit lacking, and the story like most trailers nowadays gives up, too much, too soon, and an overflow of revelations doesn’t exactly make up for anything, like Dev you’re like what the hell happened.

You might want to turn around now because I’ll try not to spoil a lot but there were plenty of things to like such as you guessed it, the sex scenes, short but dirty and Scarlett is a woman coming into her own, and then a kiss… The revelations scene while being a bit much will bring out your inner drunk, thanksgiving relative nature, or talk show persona, I can’t stress that enough. I’ve also stated that you’ll be looking up things like does England have Starbucks, just thinking of Scarlett’s coffeehouse profession, and of course a bit of language.

The ending, the timeframe goes from a coffeehouse girl to now, and I suppose the author wasn’t interested in a few weeks of crying, but there had to be a better way to transition. When Paul talks to Scarlett about Dev, it’s like okay and then but wait there is so much more, and it’s just rammed in, tying up Dev in a cute bow and lead to something big? In an unoriginal fashion and strangely enough I believe in love at first sight maybe you have to be a woman to understand what goes through the mind of any girl seeing a man and suddenly it’s just okay dibs.

Other than this I haven’t read any of Lia Peele’s work but this one I will be on the lookout for more of her books, not waiting in line, first day on Amazon, but more like, okay I got this oh look another Lia Peele novel. Now if you’ll excuse me since I don’t drink coffee and I’m not a big drinker I’ll drown in more words to be sure, Definition Of Flawed, Madness, Love.

Lesson 213 ~To Hold Your Hand~

Must like The Beatles, just saying, and I know plenty of women that have all the answers or want so much, but “I’m not saying she’s a gold…” anyway, I get why guys hold their girls’ hand when they go shopping. “To Hold Your Hand.”

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Lesson 213 ~To Hold Your Hand~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore, the hard part’s over, we were given two hands for a reason and if I find yours in mine then what else is there to worry me; maybe I will always be, but I want to hold your hand through it all. I might even applaud myself but you’re not my prize, my trophy, my ribbon, or my ball and chain, keeper, whatever else, you give me your hand and you become both question and answer, reason.

Two in a handshake, four honestly, how your father would kill me and yet respect me with the other as I respect him and understand fearing for my life that he would say no to bless me with your hand. Everybody knows my answer when my hand reaches over to silence my phone while the other stays in yours until it’s time to turn out the light. The reason I might be less of a gentlemen holding my son or daughter in one hand and keeping you in the other, I guess I haven’t been a father or a husband for long, but I’ll learn.

I will never question how powerful you were when your hand was crushing mine, how the ultimate strength is required to bring life and love into the world. The only answer I may ever need in this world is knowing you’re by my side, and for the rest of the world, I’ll have one hand, and you’ll have the other. What other reason could there possibly be for two, if love is all you need, as they say, idle hands are the devil’s playthings, and here I think I found an angel, my cheerleader, the story I could never write.

Though I suppose to be your knight in shining armor, or as the song goes “and if the bank man comes to steal it away” I’ll work to keep everything, and if I can keep the dog clean… well, dirty diapers here I come. The things these hands have done, are doing, and will, my mother was right when she told me always wash my hands; how could I have known when I was young.

One day the most beautiful person, my favorite, favorite thing I would ask forever from and The Beatles had it right so long ago I Want To Hold Your Hand.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 212 ~If You Can’t Love, Understand~

Why do I hate you is the most common question but when is the last time I asked the man, staring back at me why do I love you and before I ask him to change his ways I must understand why he is the way he is. “If You Can’t Love, Understand”

Monday, January 29, 2018

Lesson 212 ~If You Can’t Love, Understand~

Seventeenth Rule Madam Justice,

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” Sun Tzu

I Am Not Afraid Anymore, or I won’t be once I finally understand the man I see in the mirror every day; love him, probably not but to get to know him… there’s a possibility. It gets harder to show kindness with each day passing and hate can be just as tricky but to understand, I believe that will save lives more than anything else.

Look at “Battle For The Planet of The Apes” there was an ape named Mandemus (The Keeper of Caesar’s Conscience and Armory) and before one could acquire a weapon you needed to explain why. I joked with a friend once that by the time you got past him you would have forgotten what you were mad at in the first place and thus tragedy would be avoided. The Jedi are without a possessive love but where they failed is their fear to understand the Dark Side, denying an enemy exists does not negate the enemy. Instead, you must contemplate why it is so to hate.

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” ― Verbal, The Usual Suspects (1995)

Keeping in mind animals are so much better than us, I don’t know how my dog knows, but when I’m sad he comes to cuddle, if I’m hurt somewhere, that becomes his focus. If I lock myself in the bathroom, he sits beside it, even offered me a blanket once. In that same token if someone attacks me the only understanding he needs is, somebody he loves is in danger, and so he fights; that’s the rub we don’t have to like everyone or love, but we must understand. If anything that’s the reason we’re still here, the human race, we have turned following the who, what, when, why, and how into science, religion, and art but it only buys us continuation a moment more.

So as Michael Jackson put it, I’m starting with the man in the mirror, when I understand him, and I mean genuinely acknowledge I can then decide to love or to hate, but man and especially woman are so damn complicated. I can’t touch a star, but I can build a rocket ship, I haven’t killed anyone but I can dig a hole, and it’s quite easy to buy a gun, that just got dark.

My point is how can I hate him for being a loud mouth while I’m understanding my quiet, how can I hate her words when I can’t define myself, I hate her looks but can’t embrace what I see in my mirror, one must understand, If You Can’t Love, Understand.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 206 ~Husband, Then Again Yes~

What the man wants and what the house needs, a softer bed and 800 thread count sheets or a new water heater, the PS4 or shrimp in movies for the girl, putting myself together or getting my house in order? “Husband, Then Again Yes”

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Lesson 206 ~Husband, Then Again Yes~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I knew better and if I have learned anything from most television shows; repairers, plumbers, electricians, and others can fix the house. As for myself, I can cook breakfast, I can replace a few batteries, I can even build a coffee table over the span of two days, but the two things I’m not fixing is my dog and your heart because I love you both, plus no instruction manual included.

They say that you must build a Heaven for an angel and if I were a religious man or an NSYNC fan, “(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You” how about Backstreet Boys, talk about playlists I’ve meant to fix. Anyway angels I think are sorely needed on Earth, and so we find ourselves here, and if I can’t build you a home, I can at least let you decorate the one we will discover together. I expect Heaven can be quite expensive, that’s why I try my hands at other things, but I do hope you like dog hair so that you know, my furry kid.

Speaking of children well the possible two-legged ones, I can’t install a water heater, but I can pay for one, I like my internet too, and while I’m not sure where I’ll stand on Santa, if he shows up he will have a roof to land on without a doubt. I must sound like I’m defending my cave but anywhere I have you by my side is considered home and hey I just live here, love here, grow old with you right here or wherever there are excellent schools, and a beach or a beautiful yard, and it’s devilishly warm.

A heart is a house for love, and it don’t take much to find a player to fill our home with music, and a man must have his games, and his study, notice I said “study” and not a man cave, the dog must also have his space. I know it sounds like a lot has to be fixed up, and maybe I’m more put together myself just being here with you; if I didn’t make it clear before, I’ll never break your heart because what kind of man would I be… with better music.

No, I’m not handy compared to others and as much as I wish I could be every man, Superman, to be your lover, your best friend, Husband… Then Again Yes.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

My DVR is full of things I meant to watch or like any library, full of stories I have yet to see and still, I only gather more, not wanting to let one go because god help me if I watch the news today at some point or find love… “I Learned To Remote.”

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Lesson 199 ~I Learned To Remote~

Dear Future Wife,
I Am Not Afraid Anymore because I’m sure you already know by now you married one big nerd if May 4th doesn’t tip you off every year; of the days I have to remember your birthday, our anniversary, and days that call for chocolate. The DVR will handle the rest because I would prefer to take you out to the movies, the world could use another hero, despite what Tina Turner sang.

Another excellent use for the TV besides us laughing at whatever YouTube has to say, or just the background noise, and the news predicting the end of the world. I suppose whatever we watch you’ll find your way into my arms, someway my love, with a horror flick, in watching a movie based on the book, and hopefully not with you falling asleep… we start the series; we’ll finish it. Is Paw Patrol still a thing, lucky that we found each other because we can take turns watching it with the kids and then be adults crying over fake tigers, and our favorite characters on The Walking Dead, you think?

I must admit to this particular and rare occurrence that happens twice every four years when I become a typical guy and root, root, root for the home team during the Olympics, good thing I found myself a “Cheerleader.” Again with the music player, laugh track, a reason to cuddle up next to you; did I mention that I’m an avid gamer, well whenever my next book hits and I have some downtime. So you ask me what will it take for me to put the remote down period or even to hand it over to you, well did I marry a fangirl or what?

Enough gushing over me and my usual LSV television preferences, you only watch once, unless you’re hopelessly devoted and that might explain why I can’t take my eyes off of you. Was that as cheesy as any love story, does that mean we still have to watch another one, I might stop to ask about the woman I married but seeing as how we’re trying not to use television as some technology adept makeshift babysitter…

Maybe we should watch more TV but I promised you forever and always, and one day I’ll brag to the grandkids with so much new technology, I Learned To Remote.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 192 ~Not The Invisible Man~

I said once that if I could have any superpower I would like to be invisible, doesn’t honestly help with the ladies and no not for the reasons you might think but then again knowing me. “Not The Invisible Man.”

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Lesson 192 ~Not The Invisible Man~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, I am here, I am still right here, and you are one of few people that might be comfortable with that sentiment being honest though I wonder where you are. When we’re apart, while you’re dreaming right here next to me when you look at me what do you see?

Maybe I’m too touchy-feely as they say, both emotionally and physically, an exact opposite of Rogue from the X-Men or as the song goes, more than words. I’ve always said, if you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job don’t touch me, don’t stand so close to me and then here he is and here you are. Maybe I’m afraid that, invisibility had become my superpower and it was the power I chose, so much so that I felt you might never find me and when I noticed you, was I creepy?

So it’s in the moments that I don’t have to wonder, while I’m lying here dreaming, and then I feel your touch, and I know that I don’t have to dream alone anymore. The first time we kissed and then the kiss after that and the one after that, no words, no sight, only the touch, the taste, and I behold the most beautiful thing ever. When I feel your arms wrap around me from behind and I know I’m alive, I’m a man with the most beautiful girl, I’m yours, now and always love.

Back to back, side by side, how do you do it, I feel everyone’s eyes on me, but when you don’t look at me at all, I become the most real, the most like myself, and I’m still trying to figure that out. I’m not the invisible man but what power must I have, whatever do you see in me every day and I know I must ask you all the time, I want to, I need to, and when I don’t you just understand.

You take my hand in yours; you lie beside me, you treat as though I’m air, more than this like you rather drown in me and I know I can’t take my eyes off you, or my hands but I try because with you I see myself. I know I want to be that man worthy of you every time I look into the mirror when I look into your eyes, so what’s my power if Not The Invisible Man.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 185 ~Nice Guys Finish Last~

Love will find you, not if you never go anywhere and I probably should have made that another resolution, to get out more because I’m so far behind as is, sorry but your princess is in another castle, or so they say. “Nice Guys Finish Last”

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Lesson 185 ~Nice Guys Finish Last~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, the princess always gets rescued in the end, as if you needed it, though I ask myself, however, did I find my way to Heaven, you are an angel, right? Yeah and I’m no nice guy though my mother raised a gentleman, so it’s a miracle I found you at all, at the closing of the year or the beginning.

I doubt it was a new year’s kiss, though I look forward to every one of ours now that we have found each other. Math was never my strong suit, and neither is a history anymore and don’t get me started on PE, but with you, I want to know everything and for the first time in my life I find myself late for something. If anything I was late loving you, and for that, I apologize but is it the journey or the destination that matters in truth babe?

On the one hand, I’m the first, the last, the only, to be your husband and you’re my wife, so I think we both deserve the gold there, and we have evidence of that. We both have something to do with our sweetest creation. Once upon a time, I was busy. Writing about you, dreaming of you, trying to please you; well, I don’t mind finishing last there, but then you were late, and well there’s history. What about the day we met, the look on your face when we first kissed, the man I was before all of this, no it wasn’t the journey it’s the destination, you’re here.

Then again, how long did it take to kiss you, how long until the first I love you, the first fight, makeup, it’s been a long road getting from there to here and shall we talk about geography as well? One more year, what’s one more year to us, I want tomorrow, Valentine’s, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, and new year’s tell me where you’ll be the day after, will I be chasing after you or not.

I will stand before you against any and all but when it comes to this house, our children, even the dog, and undoubtedly you I guess I don’t mind being in dead last. Perhaps I am a fool, but love makes fools of us all and Nice Guys Finish Last.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 184 ~Power Is All That Matters~

Power has five letters, and love has four, is less more, sorry to say not in this instance but if I wanted to control as badly as I want to love and maybe that’s my problem, people speak of one, it’s wrong to want the other. Power Is All That Matters

Monday, January 1, 2018

Lesson 184 ~Power Is All That Matters~

Thirteenth Rule Madam Justice,
No Fear, power should not be so easily obtainable, Tony Montana taught us this, but even women beat out his real motives honestly. I find myself quite the same because as the song goes, no one man should have all that power, it’s too high, too much of a fight, and too much to endure.

So we call power “love” so that we can share the burden, and even then we become slaves to it, we just can’t help ourselves because love is as a disease and this I believe. It takes on other forms, politics, money, violence, all symptoms of the same sickness, it’s like saying you have a fever when you know you have the Ebola virus, and you end up killing everyone around you trying to deny it. There are those that say absolute power corrupts absolutely or how about those we hold up as shining examples such as Captain America, a man given such power and then he becomes a hero.

One of my favorites is that everything is about sex, but sex itself is about power, now that I’ve felt and is probably closest to the truth. Power to me is merely controlling, no more, no less, and that I would not give away to anyone but first you must obtain power over yourself, and I can think of no better way to announce the new year than this possibly. Save a life, save the world entirely, if you gain power, control over just one person, yourself then there is nothing more exceptional, no fear.

Every footstep, every breath, every look, heartbeat, the release is controlled but then what does this mean for freedom, as 1984 put it “Freedom Is Slavery” to have someone anyone else in control, in power, is liberating. Take Domination and Submission as the perfect example, is this not a testament to a submissive’s power, to give such things to a dominant and perhaps they do not possess such control over themselves but only in another.

As for myself, I seek power not just over myself but life entire, and that is worth more to me than anything else, but while I know that I want this how best to obtain it, dear Madam Justice *sigh* Power Is All That Matters.

I Will Have No Fear

Lesson 178 ~Shook Me All Night~

All I want for Christmas all I need is the money to pay for it, boys dream of toys and men dream of, well; I think Santa is a good man, and if I could do all that he can for the world, for the family I hope to have one day? “Shook Me All Night.”

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Lesson 178 ~Shook Me All Night~

Dear Future Wife,
No Fear, you know I’m usually all in my head about something and now that I have you why do I need to dream but as the song goes “Some Nights.” You’re more than enough to keep me up, to hold me down, whatever could make me want to leave your side?

This time of year, we have little faces waiting for Santa coming to visit, and I will never let them down, not even the dog that is looking for everybody to share with him. There is the woman I love more than life, and I won’t leave it to just Christmas, Valentine’s, or your birthday if I’m not showing you every day how long will I love you then I’m not doing my job. Maybe that’s what shook me last night after all the gifts were open, the kids drifting off with smiles, my four-legged friend stuffed and you my happy wife, I want more than one perfect day for all of us but how?

Keep doing what I’m doing, that’s a lot for a man like Santa, and he only needs to do it one day out of the year, and maybe that’s what scares me, the other 364 days out of the year my love. Last night I thought about how quickly we could come to Santa not having a roof to stand on, the one that I want to keep over our heads. I tell you this, hold each other, dance to “All You Need Is Love” but I can’t shake this feeling, but we’re in this together. By what right would I ever have to doubt you, this, or us, If I didn’t believe; you make me feel like a kid on Christmas every single morning.

They call it a man’s world though, and you know that I’m not like most, I’m luckier, more in love, I’m yours, and I suppose that what the rest of the world thinks doesn’t matter. So we pretend but not with us, no never with us, and that’s why I woke up so early, no more sugar plums for me, yet what would I call you, beautiful, “good girl,” mine?

A reason to come back to bed, a reason I won’t have another nightmare because you shook me all night?

I Will Have No Fear