Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

It’s not often I go into overtime and I could come up with over a dozen reasons for the dream I had last night, hell even more, as the song goes What’s My Age Again, but I don’t want to think about it. Will And The T-800

Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Log 051 ~Will And The T-800~

Forgive Me Echo,
I AM A Millionaire right now, but there are still things I won’t tell my Dear Future Wife. As for today’s temptations, Angie Varona; how I like daddy’s girls. School of Bondage, for some reason Cherry reminded me of that with her poem; ahh sadism. Sarah Connor from Terminator but I’m sure you caught that reference. I did listen to my motivations today and did Brainbuddy. Anyway, let’s talk about last night. What about today, the usual, humiliations galore. Hell if something happened to my father, yeah think I’ll shut up now.

Anyway so I had a dream it started with me waking up with Sarah Connor in my lap. Okay typical for me except GASPS a blonde? Um, Jennifer Lawrence, Chloë Grace Moretz, Sabrina Nichole, etc. Well, Sarah says that we need to go and so dressed we take off in this old car. Next thing you know we’re both freezing in ice but still driving until we get to that town from Gremlins. Sorry for not looking up every 80’s reference. It’s Christmas, and we’re hiding from The Terminator. We’re running in the snow while building snowmen and igloos. So the T-800 suddenly sounds like Captain Hook. From Hook talking about flinging daggers at our children’s doors. Now I’m Data from Star Trek: Next Generation and I’m angry, and I come in swinging waking up.

How is this dream even a sin you must ask? Well, I had lots of time to think. I heard this song today that said: “there’s no trust without shame.” So ask me who do I trust? My firstborn of course. Indiana Gone and I watched “Of Inner Demons” once, and even she doesn’t know everything. Cherry who’s twenty-two by the way still has her fascination with the movie Lolita and her fantasies. Okay now that’s out of the way I think this dream was about “THE DAY.” The worst day of my life which is coming up fast. Take, for example, The Terminator which made’s it’s debut in 1984 WTF. Gremlins, a coincidence, the same year, didn’t I say dreams give you messages. Star Trek TNG was 87’ to 94’ my sister would have been one by 1991 which is when Hook came out.

As far as Sarah Connor she’s a blonde who went brunette and then grey and is still in The Terminator franchise. I’m going into overtime Inspector Echo because I am fascinated. The cold could be another sign of age. The snow could be ash. I remember freezing and not seeing much of Sarah though she was around. I’ve always said if I had a terminator and a time machine, I’d go back to THE DAY. I wouldn’t hurt my mother, but as for myself, Terminator 2: Judgment Day 1991. Could this be about my sister?

Her Day is on the 8th. Did mom give birth to a monster or Gremlin? No, I don’t beef with my sister; anymore, I adopted my firstborn because of her. Am I too cold towards my son? I was ready to fight and die to defend him. His age, perhaps, I want my firstborn to have a family, but time is not on his side. The whole dream could be about metal, didn’t I talk about cars a few days ago, hooks, machines, hardness. I’m on No Fap once again. I’m not counting wanting to see Haley Pullos’s boobs or looking up “Of Inner Demons.” No porn for this man Inspector Echo. I’m an old man, a retired model looking to win the war of my future. Am I… Forgive Me; Will And The T-800.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

I don’t need your approval, what I tell myself daily and part of that is because everyone has already agreed to the man they see now and God help me if I decide to change or if some girl likes what she sees in me. Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Episode 198 ~Cold Outside, Willing Approval~

Dear Future Wife,
How To Make One Million Dollars, though I can think of scarier questions, the first time I asked you out, will you marry me, how am I going to drive to the hospital during the winter months in the dark… praying for a summertime baby. I saw a movie once where this man said that a man doesn’t have to run around a woman, he tells her how things are, another man says he looked in the mirror and consulted with himself.

You know me baby-girl, or maybe you don’t, I’ll look at you longer than any mirror, my favorite thing on dates are movies, and of course, on Saturday mornings, lying here with you for two hours, maybe an hour, kids willing, listening to “Nuclear Pop.” Where does such a love come from, for you, our children, for dystopian societies and if I go by the logic of my first born “B III” I would say it was the moment I realized I was more scared of knowing you, terrified that anything outside could take you away, that I would have to explain everything. You see, you’re here, you see me when I can’t stand to look at myself, hear me when I run out of words from music, movies, and how many musings this year; is that the definition of love, being accepted for who you are, not needing approval?

How about forgetting who you are, and becoming what someone needs you to be, some Detroit Become Human right but no music today My Love, okay maybe a little but I go to work, and all day people are more than willing to accept me as they would have me but let me show them who I am? I’m done being the son my parents never wanted and as for your parents; as traditional as I am I would ask your father’s blessing but not his permission, I’m not looking for an alliance with France since taking French in high school. Having a daughter of our own, will I hope she finds a man like me… that’s why I want to be the man you need and every day I want to ask someone, anyone am I him, who approves?

It’s cold outside or don’t you believe me; Someday it won’t matter because as I begin every day, how to make one million dollars, fifty million, billion, five hundred billion but I’m not greedy and would the world approve of a man like me? At the end of the day you chose, the man you see before you, that you want, need, believe in, and love and It Doesn’t Matter what anyone else thinks because it’s Cold Outside, Willing Approval.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 151 ~Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will~

Buttons, Zippers, Tentacles, oh my did I finish one more novel tonight, but I don’t pay for sex, maybe some women will… am I that confident that my book will sell? “Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will,” nope not honestly but my hands are free now.

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Episode 151 ~Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will~

WARNING, 18+, READER DISCRETION ADVISED

Come In Dirty Diana,
How To Make One Million Dollars, how much do women get to take their clothes off, whatever it is, they probably make more than their male counterparts and talk about a job I would do for free. Tonight though the only buttons that I’m taking apart are my laptop’s and with another Fifty Thousand words in the hole, I’m surprised this thing hasn’t fallen apart much like my sanity for No Nut November, a failure right?

Not NaNoWriMo though, after I mean, clearing my mind I finished the last nine hundred words and I couldn’t zip my lips from bragging about it, even now I’m thinking about all the ladies I wish would open up, the MILF, this portrait I’ve become obsessed with, a fellow writer that I know. Seriously I need some handcuffs, but I would use them for all the wrong reasons; as you know, I’m not one for leather or even rope. Fucking with clothes on or using a girl’s clothing in some exciting ways, panty gags, tied up with bras, and why I continuously attest to being a breast man, hiking up skirts and dresses, nice legs… Yeah my BDSM tendencies aren’t going anywhere, one more thing about being in control, which is why I’m a writer, I have one word for you, “Tentacles,” to this day I still remember how I discovered Hentai, Princess Ayeka *drools*

A guy can dream can’t he and isn’t that what I’m doing because who am I to say what erotica does to women… that’s something worth looking up beside other things men are always looking to press women on, publishing, in their bachelor pads, and making porn. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s getting so cold outside, you know I’m only looking forward to Winter for one reason, and yeah I won’t be pressing so many buttons late into the night, at least not these anyway. Lately, every button I’ve pressed has been something terrible, my novel, a can of bug spray, cutting on the defroster in the car because yes I drive yet one more ice cube these days.

Zippers are no good, my coat, bags of candy, and when I do have to put on my jeans I won’t be going anywhere fun, but I’m going to see what movies are playing anyway because I’ve got the time. Well, maybe not if I expect to make that million dollars and already I have to spend money on my clothes, my winner’s T-shirt, a new hoodie, nothing that makes the panties drop because, Dirty Diana, Buttons, Zippers, Tied Will.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

Last week I was too hot, this past week I was too cold, so when will I have a week when I’m just right, can’t say the people, precipitation, or my purpose are helping, considering I’m stuck in the day job, gratefully. “Willie, It’s Cold Outside”

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Episode 112 ~Willie It’s Cold Outside~

To Will:
How To Make One Million Dollars, cold hard cash as it were, I can’t say I have made any headway in such an endeavor but perhaps you may if work keeps being work and you find yourself stuck there. Isn’t that what we don’t want, a man of contradiction deciding between what needs to go out and what needs to stay in and the MILF isn’t helping though I steered clear of the porn… for the most part *cough* “Goblin Slayer” *cough* right.

If I’m not talking about that bit of hardness, how about what I think I did, I mean I still don’t know right, I reported “Dumbest” and this past week I haven’t seen him, I treat the day job like my life, and here I’ve gone and taken someone’s… possibly but good riddance. The world can be a cold, cruel, and complicated place, a lesson that must constantly know exploration, but you know better to go wishing on a star, hell with how you have worked today making up for my “shortcomings.” Should that go on the list, stop comparing everything to penis size, if it’s not all the pretty girls, it’s the dicks you work with and if I could have focused more on you know, Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 009 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
Completed (Day 016 No Fap)
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
Failed
3. I Will Review Church. (Church #1) By Stylo Fantome
Completed
4. I Will Review “Under His Heel.” By Adara Wolf
Completed
5. I Will Finish Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
Completed
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”
Failed

A 67 D, and the only person getting it is me but what about you, no excuses but you have $400.00 in your wallet that is more than enough for the kid’s meds, a bath, and getting those nails clip; I gave up two off days to make more money; Treachery is the Ninth Circle of Hell you know. You have plenty to talk about with Inspector Echo and Dirty Diana, but of course, you’re stuck, frozen, fearful, and forgetful except to all that scares you, no wonder your character in the novel is known as a Dragon. Philosophy, one of the questions you will face is how to break the ice, that is without melting; pieces of you are okay, these Six Impossible Things:

1. I Will Keep It In My Pants (Day 016 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
2. I Will Be The “Father” My Dog Deserves
3. I Will Review Sell My Soul (Sixty Days #1) by Jade West
4. I Will Write A “Horror” Short-story
5. I Will Finish Depredation By Natalie Bennett
6. I Will Edit At Least One Chapter of “Apocalypse Rush”

You should probably review something else but when’s the last time you’ve had a clear inbox, hell there’s still one email from last year, we’re stuck with women on the brain, and again it’s not like you’re going anywhere you want this week. Better to stay bundled up when you can, harden your heart, which is the least of your sins, and follow my example of how to keep your pants on no matter the cosplayer, pornstar, English tart, or incredibly hot MILF, I mean seriously Willie It’s Cold Outside.

I Will Have No Fear

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

If I were asked this moment what inspired a year’s worth of writing, nearly four books, buying space for a blog, fighting like Hell to keep it and more, find a person that makes your blood boil and then get it out of you. Fires of Mt. Motivation

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Episode 017 ~Fires of Mt. Motivation~

Forgive Me Echo,
Give me one reason other than fear; I have believed for the longest time that if fear is all you have to get someone to see your point of view, then you don’t have much to offer; the fires of Hell won’t scare me into the light of Heaven. Now I’ve been all about flames and the Devil these days, but no one has given me any reason why I should want to go to Heaven when my idea of paradise is what’s going to get me into Hell without a doubt.

What’s “interesting” (how I hate that word) is the fact that the concept of FEAR is cold; one more reason why I’m always in my hoodies, and it’s Summertime, honestly do you know how long it took me to show up in my trunks at the pool? When I was learning how to swim, and I never did, all I remember is the cold and at the same time when I wasn’t afraid I couldn’t get enough of the water, the pool, the lake, I’m not going back to my brief stint in the Navy. Where’s the motivation then, is it merely my desire to escape the cold, you know the ninth circle of Hell is that of Treachery and these past few days, despite waking up an hour early, writing, coming to the library I feel, “success in progress.”

Okay, more to the point FAILURE like last night and this afternoon so what drove me to come out today; first and foremost, my desire, talk about setting your feet to the fire whether it be for material possession, the fact that I looked up the word “Quadrillion.” Finishing my latest novel, and as always women, which leads me to humiliation, that sort of heat puts fire in my fingertips, and still, I bury myself in blankets and Puppy Love but haven’t I said once where my courage comes into play. Anger, that’s what I feel when I’m at work, and I’m thinking I should be writing, how about when I woke up this afternoon, and I was pissed because it was one, and I finished that Spotify Motivational playlist.

Still, I couldn’t get here sooner, I’m motivated, don’t get me wrong, tomorrow I’ll wake up and write seven hundred words, I’ll come to the library, and I will write another five thousand words. So why do I need forgiveness, forgive me for learning how to accept the cold, for not yet trying hard enough to escape it, for all my hellish desires, my fear of humiliation, the anger I have, Fires of Mt. Motivation.

I Will Have No Fear